Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (April 9, 1887)
THE GRUMBLER. n it tt thfl dinner tnhlB , Wllh dlarontr-iiti-it frown Tht" poiutoes nnil slnuk worn undi-rdone, And thfl lin-wl win baki-d too lrin. The l- tin aour, the puil'litm too sweiil, Ami the roust us niui-h too fut ; Tlifl soup to Kruy, too. unit milt. Hum twin Imnlly 111 lor the cat." "I wliih you could eitt tht tiri-4 nd plot l'vo writ my motlu-r nmlif : Thf r noim-lhliiK liU. und 'twould do yon good Jimt to ('"- lit a limf ol ll'T cilkw." Bind tlm itnlllnu wlf: ' I'll Improve with ktfe, Jimt now I'm lint Iwirlnn'-r, But Tour mother h:n rome to vllt u, Awl to (In V nli' ranl"l lliftllnn-r." Unit SI. Jladlrv, In '' Ihiurk'Hilni). A CUP OK TEA. Tho Bovorarro That Choora but Not Inobriatoa. Literature of tlm I'lmit Tlmt linn MhiIkIU K Wf Through llm Wlilf Worlil-Olil I llm. a la III HitriiileMiim. It In curious Unit while Hi" Chinese claim ft remote itiili'nity fr nearly nil tho products of llu-lr loiijMirrcstcd civ ilization, they give what to them Is a comparatively modern dale for the in troduction nf'tca'into the Celestial Kni jiirii. And even then tln-v true-the origin of till) lirtielii toniuvtll. They tell us that iilmiit tin) lic;;iiiMii;j of the sixth century in our present reckoning, one Diinnit, ii piTncu of hi'h priiicipln and frreat piety, landed 111110117 tlicm arid ffllVfl up his life wholly todevolloll. Ho ciitered no temple, hut, living ill tho open iiir, frave day and niht to prayer and the study of find's work in nature, his aim In itio to o purify his life that in the. end he would heroine adsorbed into tho Divine IVi-scnce. He had an idea that if he could only compter sluep ho hi mind mlj(lit lie forever alive to the impressions ami scenes around him, and in constant meditalioll oil the unseen, the Hiililiuic purpose he had licfore him would Hiirely ho attained. The weak ness of the Mesh, however whs loo much for this enthusiast. Worn out by Ills pro tmcted viil, lie nt length fell into n profound slumber; hut instead of wak in"; ui wilh it w-nso of comfort nml re-, frcshincnt, it was in hhaiue and liuiiiiliit tion that he opened his eyes, ami in mi noiiy of p-icf over his failure to keep awake he took a knife and cut oft' the of fcndlitjf eyelids. Keturiiin after a lime to the spot where tills extraordinary penance was performed, he was nm:i,ol to f i lid that the eyelids had taken root and developed into frarriiut and lieautiful shrubs. He plucked Homo of the leaven mid eiilln them felt like a man Inuis fnrmed. A new joy possessed hi mind, n new courage tiiiimated his body; lie had found an elixir that con quered sleep und made persistent watch fulness a certainty. It was in this fashion, say the Chinese, that the ten plant came into existence. Tho story is Dot so meaningless as it npni-itrs 011 the surface. Apart from its spiritual signifi cance, we see In the legend that front an early period ten was regarded as n preventive of drowsiness; and this, in deed, is tlie rccoinmendaUon ejven to it hy those Jesuit Father who are sup posed to have lieen the til's t KuropcaiiS' 111 Cliina to make use of the plant. Wo do not liml mention of tea In literature earlier than tho sixteenth century. Certain Italian writers who nourished then speak of it, and one of them, aiitlcipatiiiu; Cowper, describes it as "a delicate iuiee which takes the place of wine, and Is good for health ami sobriety." Tea must I lien havo found lis way into Kurope, and tho I'ortui'iiese were probably the first to import it. It was not, however, until about a century later that it was brought Into England. It was so much of a rarity that a rlft of a few pounds of it in the sov ereign in liidl was considered a tnanllleeiit present. In lt(!7 a run sldernble importation of the articln was made into this country, tho amount liti injr nearly live thousand pounds, hut it found hy no means a ready sale. This was owiii":, perhaps, less to tho prion than to tho prejudicii with which Kn glislt people in the llrst instance re garded tho beverage. When it was first offered in our markets from i'l! to jt'10 n pound was asked; a little later JC2 IDs. was acccpteii. (Sarraway, of coll'eo must1 fame, was retailing it lit ll.'7 at from sixteen to fifty shillings a pound. In his advertisement ho states that "in respect of its former scarceness and dear nessit tt :it It been only used as a regalia in high treatnicut nml entertainment and presents inado thereof to princes and grandees;" hut a better era had now dawned and Cutrraway tells us ho "llrst publicly sold tho said tea in leaf and drink according t tho directions of tho most knowing merchants and travelers luthnso F.astern countrics.and tioii knowledge nd experience of tho said (iarraway's continued euro and in dustry in obtaining the best tea and making drink tin-roof, very many noblemen, physicians and merchants und gentlemen of quality havo ever since sent to him 'for tho mid leaf and dally resort to this liousn t drink the drink thereof." Kvcn (iarraway's reduced scale of prices and accomplished brewing failed to create any great demand for tho now leverage and most of tho writers and wits of tho tinio art' found satirixlng it. Shadwt-ll talks of it as something "f,fr women and men that live liko women;" but Nha.Ui'll, on lryden's showing, being "round as a tub nml li.piorvd tvery chink," could hardly lie coi-ted to lx partial to any uch "mild form of dissipation. Steele w as 110 doubt less prejudiced, but oven ho sHaks bittorly of the new custom of ten drinking. "IVm'tyou ," ho makes one. of his characters ssy of women, "how they wallow gallons of tho julco of tea, while their own dock leaves ro trod den underfiMit" This, however, was but echoing the views of economist of the times, who had said Uiat if such a decortlon wnro to bocomo a necessity it was ridiculous U pay heavily for.whnt could Just as easily Im) mado out of sago and braiublo leaves. Anotlu-r com plaint of tho prriod against this new fashion of tea drinking was that it gavfl riso to gossip and bai kbiting. Iliere Is a letter In tlm (irtdlemun Mmjaiiiu for MXi finding fault with ladies "who inako their tea table tlm mart to dispcriso scandal and attack reputations," and later we have a writer in the Connoisncur bewailing the loss of timn and tho profanation of the Sabbath consequent upon Sunday evening tea drinking. Tho beverage had by this timo become pretty much a favorite at social gatherings through out the country and neither the econo mists nor the wits could counteract what was quickly iM'coining a popular demand. Jirsidi', tea had its champions as well as its detractors. Dr. Johnson canto to the rescue among others and boldly confessed himself "a hardened ami shameless tea drinker, w ho has for many years diluted his meals with the infusion of this fascinating plant, whose kettle bus st arcely tinio to cool; who with tea amuse the evening, with tea solaces the midnight and with tea wel comes the morning." When wo get to Colley Cibber, wo find the beverage apostrophized in this fashion "Tea, thou soft.jhoti sober, safe and veuerab'o liquid; thou female, tongue-running, smilivuntothing, heart-opening nml wink-tipping cordial, to whoso glorious insipidity I owe tlm happiest moments of my life." Waller has the lines: TIip Muhp'h friend, tea dii-oiir fancy aid, Iti'in-s those viiors whlrh llm hi'iul Invtiuo, And keep tin- p ilurii of l mull s-reiio, I'll 011 her birlh.luy to nalulo tin) iur.cn. Xor should Cowper delightful homo picture, be forgotten in this connection, if only fo give the original form of the modified words chosen ns tho title of this sketch: Now tlr tho Urn and clo! tlm Mmtlors fast, l.et full tin' curtains, wheel llm sofa round; And while Hie I111I1I1I111K und loud-hlssliur lira Throws up a sleiimy column, unit the cups Tlmt chi rr lmt not Inebriate, wait on oai li, To let ua wi'leomu peuccful evcnniK In. Tho question .hcciiis to have arisen very early in the use of tea a to th amount of the infusion which one might safely take. Several medical men had pronounced it not only safe itself, but as conducive to health; and a Lcydeit physician, writing in 1071, commends it as a panacea for almost every ailment ami does not think that 'Ml cups daily would be too much even for a moderate drinker! This, however, was interested testimony, (he physician in question having, it is said, been brought over for the purpose by the Dutch East India Company. M the same time, there have been tea drinkers whoso n petite for tho beverage was virtually insatiable. It was, not unusual for Robert Hall, the divine, to swallow twenty cups nt a sitting. To Johnson, as already indicated, the beverage never came amiss. There is a story in w hich Sir Joshua Reynold is credited with reminding him that ho had just drunk eleven cups. "Sir," said John son, "I did not count your glasses of w ine, why should you number my cup of tea?" ' Then ho playfully added, "H It had not been for your remark, I should have released the lady from any further trouble; but you have reminded me that I want one of the dozen and I must ask the lady to round up the number." The story doc not end here, for wo are assured that as John son wa sipping hi twelfth cup ho told how, on one occasion, being invited to a party to lie made a lion of, he had his revenge by swallowing twenty-five cups of tea and not treating his hostess to a many words. The right met hod of preparing tea for drinking wa not at first easily understood. The Chinese say we have not mastered tho secret yet; but we have undoubtedly improved upon the instructions left by au authority in the last century, whose ad vice was either to boil and drink tho liquid when the loaves settle to tho bot tom, or steep tho tea overnight in cold watef and boil in tho morning before drinking. Crude as this system was.it was preferable to boiling tho leaves and then eating them with butter, pepper and salt, as was done in some country places in ignorance of the proper use of the plant. There- i reference also to a custom last century of first serving tho leave between thin slices of bread and butter ami eating them as a delicacy. The distinguishing names for tea are not expressive, as 1 generally supposed, of particular varieties of tho plant. They relate chiclly to tho conditions under which the leaves are picked. The principal black teas are Hohea, Congou, .Souchong nml Pekoe; w hile given teas are known a Hyson, Twankay and (iunpowdcr. Of tho black varieties Tckoe stand llrst, and of tho green liuupowdcr has the preference. Tho IVkoo consists of tho buds and very young leaves and i gathered early in spring. The Souchong is the result of tho second picking, w hich is made about tho beginning of May. Congou is tho name given to tho third gathering, and Hohea is a lato leaf. Of the green tea, Hyson i a gathering of tender leaflets and (iunpowdcr is a selection of Hyson. Tho Twankay is tho last crop of the season, China continues the prin cipal source of tho English supply of tea, though we now import largely also front Assam and India. In tho United States the Japanese variety is at least as extensively used as tho Chinese. The fact that other places than tho Celestial Empire now cultivate tho tea plant is a benefit t tho consumer, not only in a larger supply of tho article, but as a protection against adulteration. Tho best quality of tea never leaves China; it is too precious a commodity there. Besides, to enjoy tea In its 'choicest flavor it must bo used when perfectly fresh and this freshness is impaired by the drying processes to which the leave must necessarily be subji-ci.tl for ex port Tho effect of competition, how ever, upon tho Chinese merchant ha had the effect of making him Dion careful in tho "sorting" of tho artiel and wo have tho satisfaction of know ing that, while k?a is now chenper than ever In England, it has not fallen off in duality. LwU Mercury. - m VOUDOO WORSHIP. Unrolling H!iprtltlon I'ruralllnf Amoiif tli Ncgroe of Haytl. Sir Spencer St. John gives a very spirited description of Voudoo worship in JIayti. "According to tho true secretaries of tho voudoo.s," ho say, "who maintain its principles and obey its rules, 'voudoo' signilies an all-powerful and supernatural being,. .011 whom depends all tho events which tako place in tho world. This being is tho lion vcpomous serpent one so common in Hayti and it is under its auspice that all 'those assemble who profess this dect ri tie, Acquaintance with the past, knowledge of the present, prescience of the future, nil appertain to this serpent, that only consent, liowever, to com municate his power and presenile his will through tho organ of a grand prbt, whom the secretaries elect, and still more by that of the negres, whom the love of the lattc;- had raised to the rank of high priestess. Tin-so two dele gates, who declare themselves inspirei by their god, or in whom the gift of la spiral ion .is really iiianifesteirTn'-'tlc opinion of their follower, bear the pompous names of 'King' and Hiuoen.' or the despotic ones of 'Master' or 'Mistress,' or tho touching titles- of 'Papa' and 'Mamma.' They arc during their whole lives the chief of the great family of tho volitions, ami they have n right to the unlimited respect of those wlio compost) it. It is they who decide if the serpent agrees to ndmit a candi date into the society, who prescribe the obligation and the duties lie i to ful fill ; it is they who receive the gifts nml presents which tho god expects as a Just homage to him. "To disobey them, to resist them, is to disobey (iod himself and to expose one' self to the greatest misfortunes. "This system of domination tin the one hand and of blind obedience oil the other being well established, they at lixed dates meet together, and the king and queen of the volitions preside, follow ing tho forms which were probably brought from Africa ami to which Creole customs have added many varia tion ami some trait which betray European ideas, a, for instance, tho scarf or rich belt which the queen wears at these assemblies, ami w hich she occa sionally varies."' 1 As for the practice of voudoo worship, it is well to say that of the votaries in Hayti there seems to be two classes those who worship the serpent and offer animal sacrifices to nppease his wrath or court hi favor, and those who kill human beings and not only offer them as sacrifice, but cat their flesh. The temple of the voudoo am generally small, unpretentious wooden buildings called by the natives Huniforto and are scattered generally throughout the interior (if Hayti. Somo of them are most incongruous in their ' intermr decorations, and olio situated a little distance back of Heaitx du (Jap, was profusely decorated with illustrations from colored weekly pamphlets, inter spersed with gaudy chroinoie picture of various saints. .V. Y. World. AN ALGERIAN WEDDING. It Cetclirntlon an Iiiterellii Itello of Very Ancient Ciiatoin. A marriage celebration in Algeria is an interesting rdie of ancient custom. Tito bridegroom goes to bring the bride, and the guests assemble .outside the house will wait for his return. Soon the sound of pipes is heard coming from the summit of some neighboring hill, and the marriage procession approaches the bridegroom's house. The pipers always come first in tho procession, then tho bride muffled up in a veil, rid ing a initio led by her lover. Then comes a bevy of gorgeously dressed damsels, sparkling with silver orna ments, after which tho friends of tho bride follow. Tho procession stops in in front of the bridegroom's house, nd the girl's friends lino both sides of tho pathway. The pipers march off on one side, while tho bridegroom, lifts tho girl from the mule ami holds her iu his arms. Tho girl's friends thereupon throw earth at the bridegroom when he hurries forward ami carries her over the thres hold of his house. Thoso about the door beat him with olive-branches amid much laughter. In tho evening, on such occasions, the pipers and drummers are called in, and tho women dance, two nt a time, facing each other; nor doe a couple desist un til, panting and exhausted, they step aside to make room for another. The dance has great energy of movement, though the steps are small ami changes of position slight, the dancers only circling round occasionally, lint they sw ing their bodies about w ith astonish ing energy and suppleness. As leaves tint tor before the gale, so do they vibrato to the music; they shake; they shiver and tremble; they extend quivering arms, wave veils, and their minds seem lost in the abandon and frcny of the dance, while the other women, looking on, encouraged bv their high, piercing. trilling cries, which add to the noise of the pipes and drums Brooklyn Mg aiiiu: m -m m The most prominently picturesque old building in Albany, X. Y., is to succumb to the march of modern im provement. The Staats House, south east corner of State and Pearl, with its date, "lOtiT," is to give way to a tine banking-house. Albuny .j-prrsi. The cost of postage-stamps to the Government. eoverin evei-v thiiie. in cluding delivery, is t(.99 per thousand. " ABUSING WASHINGTON. Horn tcanUloa CIr(H Made Agalnit I the Father of Ilia Country. 1 General Washington was probably f g much abused as any President who has ever acted as the Chief Executive of the United States. At one time ho said that ho had been abused worse than a common pickpocket, ami ho was charged with all sorts of crimes during his administration. Tbo Philadelphia Aurorn was, perhaps, tho most bitter. When Wa ;hmgton left the Presidency it had a jubilant article over tho close of histeim, in which it said: "If ever there was a period of re joicing this is the moment. Every heart in unison with the freedom and happiness of tho people ought to beat high with exultation that tho name of Washington this day ceased to givo a currency to political iniquity nml to legalized corruption. A new era is now opening upon us an era which promises much to tho people; for pub lic measures must now ftand upon their own merits, and nefarious pro jects can no longer bo tutpportod by a name. It is a subject of the greatest astonishment that n single individual should l.avft carried his designs against the public liberty so far as to have put in jeopardy its Very existence. Such, 'jowevcr. are the facts, and with these staring us in the face this day ought to be n jubilee in tho United States." During a part of his Presidency Washington wa called tho step-father of his country, anil among1 the para graphs written about him was 0110 which said: "That to talk of the wis dom of the great commander (Wnsh iiiL'ton) und the great philosopher (Franklin) was to talk nonsense, for Washington was a fool from naturo and Franklin was a foul from age." In 17!).) "A Calm Observer" in tho Xew York Journal accused Washing ton of being a thief. Ho stated that ho had overdrawn his accounts and that ho owed the treasury r?l,IW7. Another writer accused Washington of hypoc risy and declared that he wanted to be "a King. A third criticised his carri age and his aristocracy, und, in fact, all tho opposition newspaper de nounced him in unmeasured terms. Congress went against him during his second term and refused to celebrate his birthday, though they had been ac customed to do so, nml when ho re fused to run for a third term they charged that he did so because ho fearutl that ho could not be elected. It will be Hirprising to the peoplo to-day to know that Washington was once charged with murder. It was during one of his rresidential cam paigns. The Philadelphia Aurora mado the charge. It stated that Washing ton had, during one of the battles of his early life, shot an officer who was bearing a flag 6t truce, and that in tho papers relating to the affair ho had ac knowledged the net of assassination. Peter Porcupine takes up the charge in hi letters and proves it to bo false. The fact, liowever, stands that tho charge was made. Speaking of Washington, I see that some of t ho goody-good newspapers of tho country aro very indignant at tho statement in Quaekenbos' history that Washington nt one time nto peas with a knife. I do not doubt but the statement is true. Tho whole literary United States at tho timo of Washing ton, however,' seoniod to bo a mutual admiration society, and there is little unfavorable gossip about the White House dinners. I found tho otherday, however, Maclay's diary, giving his experiences during his term as a Sen ator of the United States when Wash ington was first President. Maclay dined with Washington a num ber of times, and scattered through his diary aro little bits of gossip about these dinners. At two of them ho describes Washington as amusing himself during all tho dinner by playing the devil's tattoo upon tho table with his fork. Ho says, speaking of one of these dinners: "Tho Presi dent kept a fork in his hand when tho cloth was taken away, I thought for the purpose of picking nuts. Ho ato no nuts, but played with tho fork, striking on the odgo of tho tablo with it." Cor. Ckcclaiiil Leader. SUPERSTITIOUS SIGNS. I'opnlar Fallacies Which Vrolmbly Orig inate. I Hundreds of Years Ago. If, on coing out of the house, you forget something, you must under no circumstances turn back if you can possibly avoid it; if you do, you must, at any fate, sit down a moment before going out again. If the first person you meet is an old woman, it is a sign of coining mis fortune; while, on tbo contrary, a funeral procession denotes good fort une. Pigs to your left bring good luck, to your right the opposite; to avert which, grasp something mado of steel ami the spell will be broken. If, on setting out on a journey, yon meet a sow with pigs your enterprise will bo sure to be successful. To meet two magpies portends mar riage;' three, a successful journey; four, unexpected good news. To see one magpie and then more is unlucky; to kill one of these birds is irretrievable misfortune. It is also un lucky to kill a swallow. If your left hand itches you will tako 111 money; if the right, you will pay it out. A ringing in the right ear means that somo one is speaking well of you; in the left, you may bo sure that 'evil tongues are busy with you. if your right eye itches, vou will seo some beautiful sight; if the . left, you will have cause to shed tears. If your nose itches, vou will hear some news or will fall into the. mire. Cinaiinuli Enquirer. A Monkey's Mathematics. "I tell vou, Pirad'ov. that' tho smallest dog in the world." "No smarter than a monkey I saw on Walnut street yesterday. Ho be longed to an Italian organ-grinder. He could count" "The Italian?" "Xo, the monkey." "Oh. nonsense, "liradley!" "Anyhowi I saw him run up a col umn." 'A..W lyum Cu.V. CLIMATIC CHANGES The nt l'r..lle Houree of ro.umonla nil Other lle.plratorf Disease. If a blizar.l of unusual severity were ioo. from tho Northwest that would send tho thermometer down 50 or 70 dcrees in three hours, we snouiu expect a great incre'aso of pneumo nia and other respiratory diseases, re sulting in many deaths. Now, instead of three hours, suppose tho mercury were to drop threescore degrees in three nr.nutcs-or tako another step in fancy, and suppose this grcnt change to tako placo in three seconds-what would likelvbe the effect on health? And yet w'c bring about, artificially, changes to ourselves quite as sudden and its severe as this. We make an artificial climate in our houses. Wo live in-doors in an atmos phere heated bv stoves, furnaces or steam-pipes to 7D or ) degrees; and wo pass from our parlor or hall so heated into the open air. At a step, literally in a breath, tho tempera, tnro of tho air has, for us, dropped 6D or 70 degrees. We may put tm an extra coat or shawl and shield tho outside of tho body mid" chest, but wo XI tl II Ml sliiel.l the "delicate lininzs and the air-nass;i!res, 1 nc bronchial tubes, the lung-cells. Naked, lliov receive the full force of the change the last breath at 70 degrei tbo next at freezing or zero-ami nil unprepared. Wo havo been sitting, perhaps for hours, in a tropical atmos phere; nay. worse, in 1111 atmosphere deprived by hot iron surfaces of its ozone and natural refreshing Jind bracing qualities. Our lungs tiro all relaxed, debilitated, unstrung; nml in this condition the cold air strikes them perhaps UU degrees below what they :ij-o graduated to anil prepared for. Is it strange if pneumonia and bronchitis are at hand? If we 11 ro in tho West Indies, or even in Florida, and wish to com North in w inter, we try to make tho make the change gradual, lint in our houses we keep up a tropical climate, or worse, for you have not tho fresh 'ness of air that prevails in an open tropical atmosphere, nnd.w'o step nt once into mi atmosphere as much colder as O degrees difference of latitude will make it. It is in effect going from Cuba to Iceland or nt TeasAo New York at a step, anil wo make the journey perhaps a dozen times a day. Ami often, while we are still shut tip in our domiciliary Cuban climate, Iceland comes down upon us from 1111 open window. Especially is this likely to occur in school-houses, whore children will instinctively seek to get a breath of fresh air that has not had all its natural refreshing qualities quite cooked out of it by hot stoves, furnaces or steam-pipes. And all these sudden changes and shocks of cold come upon us whilothe wholo system has its vitality and powers of resist ance gauged down to tho low necessi ties of a tropical climate. A'. 1". Bob bins, tn I'upuliir Science Monthly. mm CASHED THE CHECK. How Mine Host Found His Match In a Clergyman in a Worldly Way. Ill a Western town dwells Elder K , a cjergyman very well known throughout the State for ability ond shrewdness. It is pretty generally be lievetl, on account of "liis evident knowledge of tho ways of the world, that ho wa rather "rapid" in his youth. Among his skeptical neigh bors is a hotel-keeper of jovial disposi tion and liberal heart. Whenever the elder has a specially convincing and sweeping discourse prepared it is his wont to give special invitations to his doubting friends to be present, ami these nre sometimes accepted with tho proviso that tho dominio and his lady shall meet the party at tho hotel at din ner on 1111 nppointed day during the week, so they may havo an opportuni ty to defend themselves. On theso or casions dinner often lasts the whole afternoon, and the elder is obliged to parry tho combined blows of the oppo sition. On ono occasion mine host found his match in tho clergyman in a worldly way, and it was this circumstance that I set out to relate. Tho landlord re turned on a certain Saturday evening from a trip to the far est, and next morning found him, with his wife, seated in a front pew. When tho plate was passed, ho felt in all his pockets, but could lind only a comb, jack-knife and a circular piece of ivory marked "j," which is supposed by poker play ers to represent value. This latter was dropped in tho plate under tho vigilant eye of tho pastor, but unnoticed by tho sexton, whoso eye hail been dimmed by age. On receiving tho collection, tho pastor missed the "chip," and asked tho soxton for it The latter had Wirown it away, supposing it to be a mark of disrespect from somo scoffer. Elder K knew his man, and caused tho representative value to bo recov ered. Next morning, a the landlord was dilating upon his trip to a crowd 01 irienus 111 ins oince, tider U ap peared, and advancing to ttio counter, placed tho chip down with the click so familiar to connoiscurs, and asked: "Canyon 'redeem' that this morning, Brother S ?" Of courso S. could not do less than hand out a five-dollar bill, and tho elder departed, after expressing the hope that he might always be as lucky. Mine host says no shall not "sit down" with a preacher again. Bet B. if Leu m, in Harper's Magazine. A Cure for Laziness. The following singular treatment was formerly applied in Dutch work houses to indolent an3 apathetic indi viduals: The patient was placet! in a sort of largo tub, into which water was kept constantly flowing through a pipe, so that in order to keep himself from drowning he had to turn a crank which pumped the water out again. The water sunnlv nml the hours of working were nicely adjusted J to his StrnnfTth nn.l nrt.ln...-,.... ... . . u..u 4Ml rillLL, auu 1110 amount gradually increased everyday. In one report it says: "Tho inactive limbs are soon brought to the required degree of suppleness, and the men very soon begin to ask for some less irksome labor, which they afterwanLi perforin in a most satisfactory man ucr." be Amslcrdamnur. RELIGIOUS" ANDEDUCATIONAC Tho m nutes of tho last PresbvUri.. General Aswembly show that 115 llietr vil ui 1 -tics iu.tv Jni iuiuivcq i(JJj tions of 60 and over each. Two or three clorgymon in Brook lyn introduced the practice of fivin brief talks to tho children before bem,J nlng tho morning sermon. Brooklyn Union. Homo papers report that the Pop, intends to establish a great univernitv ij tho Lateran Palace. The headof"th Universitiaa Leoniua is to be the Jesuit Cardinal Mazzclla. The Chinaman in America isbeiof more and more cared for. Accordin! to the Now York Tribune "twentT-iwS Chinese missions havo been establish in New York and Brooklyn since 1878, ond are in a flourishingcondition. Wh is more, a largo proportion of the con. vert 'stick'" In an article published in tho Kou. velle Bevue, a Franch traveler declarej that there is scarcely a village in Srri, without a Protestant church; more tiua ono mav be found even in tho gorges of Mount llennon. At Ueyrout there ii 1 Gorman hospital and American univer sity, where tho most practical science are taught, especially that of medicine. "A Century of Protestant Missions," is tho titlo of a book published in Eng. land by tho llev, James Johnston. It makes the startling estimate that while 8,000,000 converts have been added to the churches, there aro now L'OO.OOO.OG) more heathen in tho world than there were when Protestant missions began 1 hundred years ago. A'. Y. Witness, Tho Illustrated Christian Weekly t& low up tho remarks of President Eliot, of Harvard, in denunciation of the ten dency to extravagance that seems to be increasing among collegians with some appropriate remarks of his own. Owing to this extravagance, tho scale of ej. pendituro is raised to all, and it wit cost tho frugal student of to-day from 60 to 100 percent, more than it did their equally frugal fathers to tako a college courso in similar comfort. In lira.il arc found the best school in South America. They are divided into three grades the primary, the secondary, and tho technical schools. Tho first "two correspond to the varioni grades of our public schools. There s but 0110 institution in tho country cor responding to our college, naiuelr, "College Don Pedro II." in Rio de Janeiro. Tbo lower schools aro free, and the law even demands compulsort attendance. Tho llishop of Rochester does no; approve of tho popular clamor for brief sermons. "Do not." ho advises t ecclesiastical subordinates, "resdilj give in to what is often only a worldii cry forshat sermons. ou need 1 great deal more experience than yon nn tl.itm mtw fi.l lll'tL-intT A fiftfw minutes' sermon that shall be real useful. Either so much will be cos pressed into it that it will become loii- ed and obscuro, or wtiat is pernap more likely, so little will g into it tin it will bo impossible to endure it" The figures laid before tho MetV dist conference show tho steady growt of the Methodist Church m. t anaih The membership is placed at 197,41 There aro 1.610 m nisters and probi doners. The church has property: tho. value of $'J,y76.04.'l. Tbo nunit of Sunday-schools is .2,675. with ails tendance of l!U,l8o. Sabbat h-seiV papershave a circulaton ofl''.'!),K Tho work of temperance, accordin;;'. tho rep-'i't of tho statistics committe- has been carried on energetically, as witnessed by tho fact that 46,2H0 Su: day-school scholars have taken the lot. abstinence pledge. School-teacher Come, liubbj surely you can spell Kentucky K-e-u- .Now think what comes alter tr lioDi (in deep thought) Well, 1 don't kno winch vou mean, i here s deorgel sister Hello, Tommy Brown for me, an the man pop always tells lie will sott with in the morning. The Ju lije. A crier hi' a Massachusetts ton whoso duty it was to announce auctio lectures, etc. was needed ono ilay.w those who went to find him wcregrewl by tho following rather equivocal sp nailed upon bis door: "No crying to" three weeks on account of the death 0! wife." We must learn to accommodate ourselves to the discovery that some ( those cunningly-fashioned instruniei; called human souls havo only a very In 1 ted range of music, and will not vibrs' in tho least under a touch that 61 others w th tremulous rapture or qu; ering agony. A'. 1'. Examiner. To Regulate mnn favoritf. home remedy I Hk warranted not to contain a ingl X XXXJ tide of Mercury or any injurious stance, but la purely vegetaDie. 1 . It will Core all Diseases caused by Derangement of tbe Liver, Kidneys and Btomacb. If your Liver It out of order, then your whole $ylem it deranged. The blixxl i impure, the breath onensire: you ha headache, feci languid, dispirited and nerrous. To prevent a more serious con dition, take at once Simmons T TTTTIW REGULATOR. If ymi leaJ l.llr.K dentary life, or suffer ri 111 I lilt Kiilnry Affection. stimulant! and take Simmons Liver KeguW Sure to relieve. If you have eaten anything hard of digestion, or feel heavy after meals or sleepless at night, take a dose and yo will feel relieved and sleep pleasantly. If you are a miserable auflerer i'j Constipation, ltyappaia I llillouitnru, seek relief at once SimmoM Liver Regulator. It does reauire continual doting, and costs bull trine. It will cure you. If you waka up in the morning with s bitter, bad taste in your mouth, HI 11 T7T1 Simmons I.iver Regulator, ft TA K K rects the Bilious Stomach. ! 1 XlliXJ the Breath, and cleanses th 1 ongue. Children often need some safe Ct tic aid Tonic to avert approaching a"fZ f.immons Liver Regulator will relieve Col. ache. Sick Stomach, Indigestion, PysentT. " the Complaints incident so Childhood. At any time you fcel your system KJ cleansing, toning, regulating without viokat purging, or stimulating without Intosi- caung.ute II PREPARED BY Simmons Livsr Regulate J.H.ZEIUM iCO.Shiladephia. riucE, 1.0A.