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EUGENE CITT GUARD.
J. fc.CAMPHF.LI, Proprietor.
EUGENE CITY. OREGON.
ON THE PIAZZA.
1 .1
ananKD.
40 the week tlie bin sat, from morning til
Complained of suiluess, and threatened to
ieavO,
Aod remarked, nnw end then, that tut
coition i conca'ra
Why people should oome to tbe plica.
But a ehnnge has today oome over her,
qtinei
tih. 1. ill iha rot) n In snrlnc
a4 sl.es put on ber lliuuest gown of pure
while,
4M In honor of htm who la eonilng to-Dlght-
U, aoveis a uiarveiuue iniug.
WSDDKD.
AH tbe week tbe bai waltzed and flirted end
am led
In that charmingly fomlnlne war
That oii botii the young men ud old men
Jim winl
X ease ai matron, at ray ai a child
he's the belle of the house, u llioy lay.
Sut ehango bu today come over ber,
quite,
And ber laughter 11 lucking- IU rlnirs
Che'i headache leola etiipul-is uot very
;! ht-
Tsef.iot .s. Iicr hmband Is coming to n'gbt
Wedded Ufu's a curious thing.
-(,'. S. W., In Lit.
"HE PLENTY SOPiRY."
Why an Indian Rajah "Made a Biff
. Dlnnor.''
Some time ago, I being tlicn an In
tlgnifkant member of tlie army hend
quartern stair ntSinilu, tlio hill-cupitiil
of India, it bi'canio desirable to In
crease tlio number of hill gttttioni fur
the lunimiir accommodation of liritish
troop. Jt was thought thitt the Chor
niountnln, tlio most prominent peak of
which is somo sixty milei from Simla,
would on iU lower ridges afford suit
able site; and accordingly, a commit
too of ollluers was formed for the pur
pose of reconnoltcrlng ami making t
report Thlscommlllco confuted of a
well known General, a Major of Engi
neers, and myself, a humble sub.
Soinowhnl trying work it wiih to get U
tlie Chor, the mad being of tlio most
breakneck description, and the mon
soon rains showing symptoms of burst
ing for our fflpeciiildului'tHtion. How
ever, we trudged ou manfully, climbed
to tlio very topmost peak of the Chor,
which by our aneroid wu made
over twelvo thousand feet, and saw
nothing; for, by evil chunce, one of the
most uinguiliceiit views in Asia was
bared to us by clouds which shut out
very thing except the lirst mile or two
of the hug-backed ridges below us. Dis
appoinlcil, wu descended; and thut
night it was arranged wo Khould sepa
rate mill return to Simla by different
route, so as to nuiko tlie president's
report as comprehensive as possible,
Jn the execution of this idea, I found
myself tlio next dny at it place called
llhairogh, whence 1 proceeded on foot,
for wo bad been obliged to send our
ponies buck, owing to the state of the
road -to a village called Tali. Here at
first I thought of camping, as I had
onto eleven miles up hill and down
dale; but the plucu wiih so bare I was so
anxious to push on, being short of pro
visions, that 1 suddenly determined to
double my march ami make for a fort
failed Itajgmii, and described ss being
twelve miles farther on. Unfortunate
ly, I was dilatory in starling; the
march, as usual, whs longer Hum I had
been led to suppose; the road wan hilly,
and it was not until nine p. m. that I
found in) coif peering through tliedai k
duns in thu vicinity of, my destined
camp.
Camp, did I sayf It was very soon
evident that there was to be no camp
forme that evening, unci, what wasstill
more objectionable, nu supper. Slowly
aa i hud walked, my servant with whom
was all niv money, and tlio coolies with
any tent mid kit, were miles behind. It
was too late for such an unkempt ruga
aiullln as I undoubtedly was to disturb
tlie garrison, so 1 shortly made up my
mind to bivouao peacefully under a
true. Just outside the fort, however,
and close to I ho spot 1 had marked out
for my resting place, two natives, bv
the light of a lire, were hammering
onie metal vessel with such animation
aa to w holly preclude the possibility of
leep. To these enthusiasts 1 explained
that I was a snliib, mid suggested tliev
ahould postpone their operations till
next morning. They, naturally enough
Mrhaps, demurred; mid 1 wrangled
and they eouiinued llieir metallic fan
tasia until 1 could stand it no longer.
Thinking, perhaps, 1 could persuade
the local bead man to assist mo in get
ting a night's rest, 1 presented mvelf
at the gate of the fort, a square wiilletl
nelosureuf uoslrength and demanded
admittance. After much palavering
wiih the sleepy sentry, I wss let in
pant the outer wall, hut not into the
Inner part; whereupon, 1 asked that
bead man should bo sent for, and
further clamored for a chair. Seated
sipon this, and curiously scrutinised
by a few promiscuous hill folk, I waited
for some live minutes, wondering whv
sinbody cniito. At Isat a gate ill the
iniirr wall has thrown open, and out
jtotircd a procession, lit with torches
and headed by an evidently high class
alive in flowing while robe.
After the Interchange of salaams,
this iudithlunl, who suUeiiuenlly
turned out U be the tchsiUlar
(administrator of a district), said to
sou with much humility: "Ii your
Honor eut by the government to see if
troops ran be encamped on our hills?"
1 admitted the soft impeschnient;
whcrvu;xm the tehsildsr smiled be
aijrnly, and succession of happy
rtnit and 'lt is lies," ran round the
rest of the assembly, who had grouped
themselves in an admiring circle round
suy chair.
"Ah. jour Honor, we are made very
bappy ly seeing y! The deputy
oommisaiinuT of Simla wrote to our
raluh to say that you and two other
aalulx were coming; but we feared you
bad gone by another war."
This was gratifying, but not to the
pnrpoae. 1 according epUind to
my f.icud my situation.' U'M him to
Uciuiji the nieul-woikers, and
asKcd that my servsnU when tbey
arrived might be directed to my
whereabouts. At this, consternation
reigned on every side, aud the tuhsildul
rieii-lv fainted.
Your Honor sleep under a tree!"
he gssped. "It is not to bo thought
of. I have given orders for a banquet
to be prepared for your Honor; and
your alee ping-room is by this" time
readr. Will your Honor be pleased to
come and see UP"
I followed the obsequious tchsildnr,
and inspected my proposed aleejing
apartment, a small room, with no out
let but the door, and literally stuflud
with carpets, quilt and pillows, evi
dently collected hurriedly for the oc
casion. What pleased me most wa,'
the sight of a bud, which I at once or
dered to be brought oat into a sort ol
inner veranda, not wishing to b
wholly suffocated. I then did Justict
to the "banquet" as a man who bud
trudged gome five-and-twenty milei
over a dillicult country niiirhi
reasonably be expocted to do. Tin
surroundings were rather oppressive,
and the civilities of my host and hh
companions rather overwhelming, bin
I was not in a mood to be critical, aud
it was with considciable self-satisfaction
I eventually sought my couch,
falling asleep almost simultaneously.
The next morning I prepared t
start on another march, -and again I
had an interview with the tehsildai
and the rest of the garrison. I could
rot help noticing that though tlio man
was, perfectely polito and obliginir,
thero wss a change 'In his demeauoi
and in that of nls following. No mon
was my every movement watched will
eaircr curiosi-y, no more was my even
mouthful accompanied by beainiii"
smiles and grunts of satisfaction. Tlii
liil nut distress nin irreutlv. hilt
thought it curious, and when I had said
farewell ana Had lai' iy started on mv
journey, I asked my servant what it al
meant.
The mnn smiled and explained
"Deputy Commissioner Sahib ho wril
to rajali this plaoo and say: 'Ven
great General and two other sa.iib.
coming see your country. Govern
inent want to put soldiers in yout
country when hot time conies, Good
for you if Government do this,
because Government pay you well,
and country getting plenty rich.' Rajyl,
he very much pleased, and write to all
his tehsildars and say: 'When greu!
General sahib comes, you make nlcnh
show and big dinner.' Lat night you
come to fort, and It rather dark,
tebsildar he not see very well, and (i"
think you be very great General. Tin
morning come, he seo you notConerat,
and ho plenty sorry such big diuuei
raako!" tViuitrs' Journal.
A TIMELY QUESTION.
Whom Shall We Trust In Thru Days ol
DUhoneaty and Crime.
"Whom shall we trustP" Is nn oft
repented question nowadays, and it i
one that is indeed hard to answer.
Men of apparently the most striu'
business integrity ur'. proving dishon
est, and some men n 'ho church huv
no more regard for other people's
property than the robber barons of old.
or those desperadoes that sailed upoi,
the high seas in search of plunder.
There indeed seems to be an epidemic
of crimo among men occupying high
positions in corporations ami moneyed
institutions, and the example of one
defaulter meeting with a just punish
ment docs not seem to deter others
from following in his slippery foot
steps. This is, perhaps, because thin
are not looked upon as ordinary crim
inals; a certain air of n spectahiliu
seems to surround them, even in prison
dollies, and Hiey arn regarded as In:
above the majority of their unfortunate
prison associates, when in reality thev
are far beneath them.
It is folly to try and excuse them bv
saying that they d.d not mean to he
dishonest when they began. The)
knew that they were doing wrong
when they took the first dollar, ami
they did not take it almost uncon
sciously, ns many of their apologists
would nave us believe. They abused a
solemn trust when they began the pec
ulations, and no amount of sophistry
ran alter this fact.
Neither should too much attention
he paid to the statements that sonio ol
these dishonest men have been very
charitable. It is easy to bu liberal
with other pYoplo's money, and some
of the most celebrated highwaymen
have been notoriously free handed in
giving money to the 'needy. "A man
must be just before ho is generous," is
a maxim which many corporation and
bank otllclals should lay seriously al
heart. If this advice is followed it
may prevent the frequent recurrence ol
the question. "Whom shall wo UustP"
Boston liudijet. '
Pictures by Telegraph,
A Scotchman named W. Gemmil has
Invented a method of sending a picture
by telegraph, by which a photograph
taken atone end of the wire is transmit
ted and reproduced at the other. The
picture is primarily projected on a sel
enium cell placed In the telegraphic cir
cuit which, according to the degree of
Intensity of the light, received, acts up
on thoourrent and through a number of
subsidiary currents connected with an
incandescent lamp, illuminating it with
varied degrees of intensity consonant
wiih the strength of the current.
These successive Illuminations would
give images of corresponding bright
ness to tlio points In the picture thrown
upon the selenium ceil, and the tinal
picture of course would consist of a
series of these points in various depths
of shade. Due can not see what practi
cal use this Invention would be except
as aid to the police departments of the
various cities. '(morel's Monthly.
A traveling show truck hard IncV
recently in a 'lexas town. Among its
curiosities was an Keyptian mummy,
upon which a local coroner insisted on
holding an inquest at a cost of twenty
live dollars-just one dollar more than
was taken at the door.
m 9 m
Tl ..I . . . . .
nr naiu oi imisinng ponies Ir
hama this year is unprecedented,
f:ll-m id .. -.!.. .....I . :
In Als
Is.
No
ithout
nil
Hfe-HrilNUS FUrf SAl Ol.iEi.
What Nature Hm Done for the rVeoch,
SI an Made for the shrewd Yankee.
The rich, spicy flavor of the1 Fren-h
lardino was not thoro, but only the uti
mistakuble taste of tlio native herring
The Yankees could not discopor an)
means by which the herring tatte could
bo eradicated, and the sard neliusincsi
was pronounced a failure, but out
smart New Yorkers, after a fof experi
ment'!, hit upon a mixture of p Is ami
spices for a packing sauce, wlik li made
a sardine of a herring in a twinkling
and a gigantic Industry has sprun
troin tlio a mple d -overy. Not onl)
are a irdines made from common bur
ring now, but from sua trout, a ll
called a mornno-4 srd severil otllsi
dnny species, all helnj of lesser v
greater growth. J
Thu horring of which sardines re
made are never ovor four Inchl a lor?,
ami tha catchirz of the lish keeps hun
dreds of peofl busy along the col-ta
of Maine and Ne Urunswick. Vhe
herrin2 co in eha.il like uinckoro), .nd
the price received for them isrovi'tied
entirely bythecond tion of thelisM'ie.
Sometimes t'10 fish swarm akjiu, the
coasts, and liu'ili nro mado vrit. un
varying success Then thu lihh,rnian
e in oxpuct no more than 15 a hogs
head for his herring. A.'ain, j'-.is not
may be but poorly patronized, in-l he
has h ruL'onipoiiso in a hih't pi ice.
frequently obtaining $15 fi'A a
hogshead. These big price irs gon
irallv obuilno I early in tlio, pii''a 4
A nerving lldiory Is a s rple tuintj.
Sm ill '.roes or ItiisIi aro tJiru't into the
mild r-ottom of tha sea. -iTviired in a
line runniiiL' out probuVr ""no hundred
feet or more mid then crying Lack to
the shore again. Th's is nlle I a tr ip,
snd insido of this v h-T net is set.
When tlio tida is su n? nut the net is
raised, and the flsii that como up with
it are taken out w tli scoop nets.
Somet'mes this catoh will be sj largo
that the weight of tlio lish will br.iak
the bottom out of the big not, and the
gr, at heap of (ish will no;irly all escape.
Then, airnin, tho li-dicnnon Hre able to
carry in n bushol bag nil tho herring
that aro caught in a haul. Herring,
like mackerel, will follow a light on
thu wator, and some lishnrmeii take
ailvnnt.tre of th s to fish for them in a
peculiar way. Two or three fishermen
go in a boat. They nro provided with
t irches mado of cotton bntt'ng satur
ated with koroseiv. Dark nights aro
chosen, and thu boats nro rowed alon"
tho shores, with a t ireh in tho bow of
eaok boat. It is soon known when a
K'hool of herrintr Is reached, for the
fish dash frnutiiaflv after the wake of
I i ir I t made by tho torch, and make the
wator soetlio nml boil in tneir rusu.
!'he fishermen liavo short polos, on ono
snd of which is a small scoop not.
They dip tlu herring out of the wator
wiih these as fast as tlio neU cm be
handled, and so intent nro tho lish on
tho light that the nut does not disturb
iliom in thu Icist. In this way boat
load after boat load of future sardines
are oaptuiod in a short time.
Tho whv thesj lin ing aro Handle I
at thu factories Is n sight well worth
IT' lug nil tlio way to .Maine to seo.
After being enpturod f'0 iisll lire taken
i in in 'diatelv to tho factories. They arc
laid in heaps on long tables. I have
ard sumo of tho nail vo lisiienncn
oun l here talk about their skill in
skinning a cat'ish. It they could seo
some of the b ys and girls who work
in those, s inline factories clean these
rriiifr they would never mention'
skinning a cattish again. The lish are
cleaned ns scon ns they come in. 1
stood and wtitehed a sovou-voar-oM
girl go through the operation and
1 1 in -d her. Sim bolumdod and gutted
seventy-live herring every niinut;) for
ten minutes without a miss or it h.,l:.
and they told mo thore were hundreds
moro that could do tho same
thing and keep it up all day. Tho dex
terity is s'mply marvelous. The head
of tlie lisli is cut oil' and the entrails are
removed with one stroke of tho knife.
but how it is done I nm not able to say.
Knelt tislt-eluanor hits a box nt his fo t
which In ild -i a bus iol, and a o nstant
st:-eum of lish is falling from bis hands
into that box. Kvorv time it is tilled
the boy or g rl has earned ten cents.
The'herrmg aro thoronchly washed
after being eloaiiud and are then piaeed
in pickle fir an hour. Taken from the
im-kle, they nro laid on travs mid
placed in a drying-room heated to a
Irgli temperature by stoiim. When
try the lish are boiled in largo shall, w
Pans tilled with oil, tho lish being thor
oughly cooked In t te oil. Girls and
women then park tho herring in the
tin boxes in which they aro placed in
the market. Tho sauce, a patented ar
ticle, is poured Into the boxes, which
are handed over to men wdio solder on
the covers. To remove tho air which
is t.'aled in w tli the lish, and which
must be t iken out to insure tho preser
vation of the sardines, the boxes are
placed in a tank of boiling water for
half an hour. On being reii ovod they
are placed on nn inclined plane. The
air Inside is then driven to one corner;
a workman punctures that corner with
an awl; tlie hot air escapes, snd the awl
hole is immediately covered with a drop
of solder, and the box is air tight. The
box then' receives its French label,
bearing the Inscription, 'a l'huillo
d olive.' lho'hmllo d olive Is made
fmni cotton seed in South Carolina, and
isn t the bo-t quality of that, cither,
not by a good deal. There is a class
of these Maine sardines, however.
known as prime, which are preserved
In the best cottonseed oil.
New York is the great wholesale cen
ter for those Yankee sardines. Some
idea of the magnitude of the business
may be obtained when I tell you that
one factory alone in l.ubec, and (here
sre others that are doing as big a bnai
ti"ss, made and sold nearly two nvlliou
boxes of aai dines loxt year, to say noth
ing of sea trout and other brnnds of
tr -nsforiiied herring. The manufact
urers or packers make a clear profit of
six cents a box. the factory price being
about cloven rents a box. These same
tnnlinos are retailed every day for forty
cents a box, an I you will mr half a
Inllar tora box If you order sm d'-. s at
four restaurant in New York. .V. J.
Oscar Wilde says he writes poems
m an empty stomach. Esthetic, no
lotibt, but ordinary pecrU will tue a
iuk- 1'hi.aJt'pJu Tofi,
A til rST Wtuuinu.
The Part Willed the llroom-tlck Played
In the Ceremoiilea.
Few things are more simplo than a
marriage ci remony among the Gypsies,
and a description of a wedding as ro
cently witnessed by the writer, will not,
we believe, prove uninteresting. There
were moro than a score of tents at tho
encampment, whore wa wero tempor
ary guest, and at the opening of each
a tiro was burning, craving and blaz
ing away as early as six o'clock in the
morang of the day which was to wit
ness the marriage of one of the favorite
young girls of the camp. An hour
afterward, and an o!d Gypsy man with
silvery hair and bronzed, wrinkled f reo,
with but one eye, stepped on a little
mound and began playing the violin,
which has but two strings on it. Th
player's opening pieca was the well
known tune, "Haste to the Wed ling,"
to which the young Tgyps es were soon
dancing with great hilarity. Whilo
lomo of tho older worn -n were watch
ing the dancers, othoia were engaged
in culinary preparations. At tho
opening of one of tho tents stood tho
swarthy-looking masculine Gypsy
chief, with his hands in h s pockets,
steadfastly gadug upDn tho dancers.
At a given signal from the ch ef, tho
nr.isio and dancing ceased. Two rows
of Gypsies, with about twelve or
(ift;en in each row, were formed,
stand ng faco to face, being betweon
(our and six foet apart Ilali'-way
down between these rows two Gypsios
hold up a broomstick about eighteen
inches a'lovo tin ground. All being
thus far in readiness, tho chief culled
uut the name of the brllogroom, who
was a very handsome Gyp-y man about
twonty-two years of ago. His hair and
Byes were very dark, and the conforma
tion of his faco strongly indicated the
race to which ho belonged. Ho wore
an olive-colored velveteen coat, red
waistcoat, and a glarinz-colored hand
kiircliii f round his nook. In porson
ho was tall, muscular and well made,
(n obedience to tho chief's command
ho came from a tent nt one side of the
encampment, walked between the rows
of Gypsies stopped over tho broom-
stick, turned round, and then stood
with his arms akimbo wailing the
arrival of his intended wife.
Tho chief then called out tho
namo of tho bride, who came from
a tent at tho opposite sido of ' tho
encampment. She whs about nineteen
years of ago, rather short of stature,
apparently of a healthy and hardy con
stitution, while the pearly luster of hor
eyos and long, dark, glossy hair seemed
to identify Her with the purest remnant
of tho Gypsy race. Sho also walked
between "tlie two rows of Gypsies
trippod very light'y ovor tho broora
st ck, which sho ha I no so inerdono
than tho young Gypsy man, in the most
gentle and gallant m tnnor imaginable,
took her in his anus and completed the
ceremony by giving his new-imulo wifo
s.imo of the to idest kissoi wo ever
hi nrd in our life. Then tho mus'o and
dancing were resumed; tni wnoio or
thu members of tho encampment had
euspende 1 business; preparat'ons for a
good feast werj going on; every faco
looked br ght und every no art scorned
joyous. 1 lio men smoked, the woin-'n
talkod volumes, tho children shouted
nnd frolicked; the old horses gr.t.od
by tho sides of I ho banks, the donkeys
nibbled their coarso food with a self-
satisfied air, and looked as if conscious
that they were to havnthatday'sro-pito
from their weary tils; even the two
or three dogs thjit wore there wuirgo I
their tails as if in ant'eipation of nn
extra feed or of betr-'T and a larger
quantity of rations than usual, even
w thont the trouble of ha ing to hint
before any dinner coold bo allowed
them. Brooklyn Mwjaxiiie.
TOO MUCH CONFIDENCE.
Why No Mnn In a Position of Trust Khould
lie Allowed to Go I'nnnlcl.ecl.
One of tho reasons for tho numerous
defalcations that have caused such
widespread dismny may bo found in tlie
fact that as a business people wj are
wont to place too much confidence in
men holuing responsible positions. e
are willing to take them at tho valua
tions they put upon themselves, with
out ttopping to inquire whether wo
have any real ground for this or not.
This is a very busy world, and it
seems to grow busier every year. Peo
ple in tha wild rush of competition,
nowadays, have hardly time to think,
and if a man or certain sot of men
assert that an individual is competent
and lion, st we are willing to be) eve
this statement williQiit further exami
nation. It saves time and trouble, we
are apt to think, thou jlt it often does
pettier in thu end, and sometimes loads
to a woful loss of money, and a o m-sc-quenl
deprivation of the peace of mill J
without which life is not very sweet.
No man, however great he may bo.
is above suspicion or temptation, and
he should not bo allowed to go un
watched. Because ho has never yield
ed to the tempter thore is no certainty
that ho may not be overcome in a mo
ment of weakness. Some time the re
gard for human respect, which has for
time kept him upright may prove
his downfall. A fear to face the world
as a poor or an unsucs"ssful man may
lead him to borrow without leave to
save ha name and credit, until he
loses all in the inevitnblo crash.
Though outwardly wo may seem
very different, yet . iuwardly' we all
have the elements of good and evil in
our natures, and no man can say that
the bad may not get tho better of him
in some moment, when the conscience
is stilled by the thought that a tempor
ary difficulty may be bridged over by
a slight deviation from the path of
strict integrity.
There Is no doubt that we throw
temptation in a man's wsy by trusting
him loo implicitly. If we lose by him
under such circumstances we can
blame ourselves in Some degree at
least for the loss, for ire have placed
no checks upon him. Boston Budjci.
An Eastern paper speaks of a
streak of insanity having struck its
town. In the next column it boasts of
seventecu uuw aubeorihers. Umaiia
BEIOHT.
This word. altheUKb In Itself a rhee rful
one lamucnud In connection with one
of t'heworsteviia known to the human
rsce. Ihe most important symptom of
this dlseste Is a dlsci arpe by the wav ol
the kidneys rf Die albuiiiiiiousubs'ances
whim should remain In tbe blood to be
the nourishment of the system, thus
ihebodv wastes away and death closes
Ihe s ene. , , , , .
IsHilcht's Di-eae ever curable! Asa
Mr.Uro. W. Edtrards cl, Philadelphia.
He Inherited It from his fai her who diel
of It. lie Millored for a h ng time, and
was in a painfully weakened condition.
How Wkiherefiored to health f blmp'jr
by means of Compound Oxygen, which
arreaied Ihe waste of albumen, drove out
the dliseaae, and made a new man of Mr.
Kdwsrds. He Is now atteodli.K regularly
to his business, as be has been ever since
his restoration to health. The Compound
Oxt gen Treatment Is not sold at the drug
atores, hut I lo lie had only of Drs. r tab
KKV & Palen, 15 0 Arch St, Philadelphia,
Pa. Write lo them fori pamuhlet-treatUe,
sent free, which tells all alsiut It
Orders for theCoiepouiid Oxygen Home
..... .iii i hii-h hv II. A. Mathews.
X irni mo, v ,,. - w
O19 Powell Street, Sim Francisco.
A nratar.t autimAlAt Inrntll of S'O.OTU.-
Onlperyesr is derived from ihe oil well
of the United Stales. The va tie of
petroleum annually exported i $tU,UW,-
UUU.
HIS OWN IGNORANCE.
Mow Phlloanplileai Colored Man Ton.
.Moil II a Victim.
"Nat," said a Stnto official, address
In;; nn old negro, "I told you to bring
mo a 'possum."
UYns sah, dat's whutl on'orstood
yer tor say."
Well, you trifling rascal, why did
you deceive me?"
"Did I 'ccibe yer, boss?"
"Yes, you did, you good-for-nothing
scoundrel."
"Look out. boss; look out! 1 doan
mine er man pliiyln' wid nio.or litilo.
but w'.cu he commences tor pineli mo.
w'y, den 1 gits sorter ashcy. How did
l'ceiho yer, snhi'"
"Why, you brought mo a 'coon in
stead of a'possum."
"Who did?"
' "You did, confound you."
Whu t did yor do wid de 'coon?"
"Ate him."
Ah, huh! Didn' know it wur er
'conn den, did you?"
"No, I didn't.
"How long artor yer ent him wuz it
'fore yer found out it wuz or "coouP"
The next day."
"How did yer find out?"
"A man who saw you skinning the
'coon told me so."
"Wall, now look er beah, boss, when
er mnn.eais er 'coon fur er 'possum nn'
donn line out do difl'uuca teli do naixt
day when some pusson tells him, yer
ken put it dowu dat he ain't nuiio de
wus off, nn' dat ho a in' got sioh er line
appertile fur 'pofSiini nohow. -'Bleeged
ter yer, sah, fur puttin' so much coufer
denco in mo."
"I ou lit to knock your head off."
"Whut fur? 'Cast) yer coul ln' tell er
'coon frum er 'nossuin? I 'clnr ter
goodnoss, ycssclt's do onressonubles'
man 1 eber seed'"
"It should have made no difference to
you vt hi'tlie.- or not 1 could tell the dif
ference between Voon nnd 'possum,
you"
"It didn' make no difference wid me
an' dat wtia do rea-on I foleh yer de
'coon. W'y, sah, e( I didn' kuow de
diiVunce 'tw ix er 'coon an' cr'po-sum 1
wool' lib on 'coon an' sell 'possum. 1
wnsh I had yer npp rlite, boss. W'y.
sah, it ouglii.cn ter cost yvase'f notion'
hardlv tor lih luryerkeii go down in
d country an' tit er wain load o'
'conns fur lifly cents artcrdur skins hah
dun i.een tuck off."
"Go on, now, and don't talk me
I am mad enough to shoot you.'
"Co'-e y -r i-, an' ali o.i i iii-
yer own ignom e. oay, he nil I -d a
h' turned um, "elf vor wusl- r shooi
me yer couhln' tell whuder yer had sho'
er milter ur er white in en. r.r haw.
haw. Jrkuitsuw Traveler.
The .'ndinns of New Mexico
said to be doing a thriving business ii
maiiufnotuiiug "ancient'' , poili-iv
which they sidl to credo. ous totuisls
relics from the prehistoric mound-'.
-"Whv, Mr. rhilbi ick, what are yon
rutting that peppor sauce in your cof
fee tor0" naked Mrs. Jarby, as I'hil very
coolly squirted about a teaspoonfnl into
his coffee. "Just wanning the coffee
up a little, that's all." Mr. Jarby
laughed a soft laugh, and told the other
boarders, when Phil went out, that he
was the funniest boarder she oer had.
15, it she went out into tho kitchen and
kicked tho cat nil the sain
THE ONLY W&Y TO CONQPEB DYSPEPSIA.
It Is perfectly preposterous to introduce pepsin,
and other artificial solvents into tlie stomach,
in tlie expectation that they will ostistdinestlon
by actinic on the food itself. They will not
Nor Is It possible thus to overcome dyepepsia
The only way to conquer that disorder, and pre
vent numerous diseases and disabilities which
it assuredly provokes, is to renew the activity
of gastric action by ttreiiittheiiinc the stomach..
IlooUtU-r'a htoniHCh Hitters eradicates Ike
most inveterate forms of iHilixcstiuii by restor
ing vitality to the aliiiieiititry ononis, and Uioee
whicn are tributary to them. Tlie liver, the
bowrla, the kidneys and tlie nervca, no leas
tlian the stomach, experience tlie invitrorative
rtfectaof that atandard tonic which Doaaeaase
lalteratlve properties that great'y enhance its
benencial lnnurnce, and give a permanence to
its elfects which they would not otherwise
poaeeas.
A n Italian who fasted 50 days baa opened
ahow- at. hit head
Beautv
Skin & Scalp
L Restored
.) L.IL. ....
CuticU(
rWdis.
NOTHING IS KNOWN TO FClENCK AT
all comparable to the Cl'TirfHi KEMxniEa
in their marvellous properties of cleansing.
purifyinR- and beautifying ihe skin and in
rurirft Uirturinn. distlifunng. Itching, araly and
pimsly diaeafea of tha eklu, scalp and blood,
with loss of hair.
t'lTHTaa, the great Rkln Cure, and Cni
ri RA Soap, an fiqaialta ekin Heautiner, pre
pared from it, eitertially. and Cututb Ka
eoLVf XT. the new Blood Puriner. internally,
area poaitive cure for e ery form of skin and
blood disease, from aimplea to arrnfula. C'CTI
ct'RA'KKMaeitaare ahuolutely pure and theonly
infallii le skin beautiAersand blood purinera.
Sold every where, Hhce: Cvncrsu, inc.: Ra
Soltsst. tl: 8or. tic Prepared by the Por
Tia lmca and Chkmicsl Co.. Hobtom, Misa.
teixl for - now to t'nre Skin IM
V I VT1-oft aa dove'a down, and as white, by
HAitUO uaing Citici ra Mkoicatid Soaj.
fS'" t5Sk'
DON'T FAT A BIO PRICE!"
i,. ravs for a Ver')ubcrltillnntoo..
11 l, ...I I,. 1w.,I.1h ltut.1 -
Itocheatcr. 6. without Uteiiiniin-"Uw
t'huaix-st and 3ct Weo tly in t.io World "
u m t column. IS years old. kur
Iioilur von have ene clio.ee trom over lio
dillrrent Cloth uoiinii iounr i oiuutea, am
puMuKu, 14c. ttra, 6U.0UJ boolo giveu ,BaJ
AinoiiK them are: Law Without lwyrrs; Kuul
uy v)ciupCTi, .' i - -.. . .cn uui
blockln wslf ra Uulde; I omniun 8enae in I'oul.
v-nl, U'nplH Cvf-uineflin: lianelMiuCu im..j
WmU Counaelor; Hoys Useful I'aatiiiies; tlv.
Years Hefore tlie Maul; Teople's History 0(
tuited Btteai Universal History of all lk.
tiont; Fopular HUlory Civil War (hoUi aldwi.i
Any on biMik and aper. one year, all poau
lion HiiaranUed on books and Weekly, 0
money refundid. Iteference: Hon. 0. It.
IMKsoNS, Mayor Rochesler. hamiile papers, fcT
Itu DAI. iiunir. VU., LTD..
Without Premium. 65c.ayearl Kociiitrr'it.A.f.
BELIEF P&OH IKEIOESTIOir.
;2I Second Avk., New Youk, Jan. 0, '80,
I deem It my pleasure to testify to the
phenomenal ettecta of IlitANDitBTO'a
Tills, upon myself In eradicating fi-un,
niy system the most aggravated form of
Indigestion, the- attacks of which were
nearly as severe aa spasms. After a rost'y
medical treatment two boxes of IIramu. ,
ketu s Pills have nut me In a better coa
duiou than I have r en for year-.
Fhank W. Gillktt.
BUPTTJBB FEiiHANEHTLY CUBED.
We will nay your fare from any part of
United States to Vortland and hotel enpenae
while here if we do not produce iiidiaimtaklt
evidence from well-known bankers, doctors,
lawyer', merchant and farmers aa to our re-
lllllH'liy Hi mo tuio ,,, .v,..(vww u.,ui. ur
hernia witliout knilo, needle or sharp instru
ment. You ur- secure asuhiat aociduiit from
the Iret day until cured, and the cure Kuaran
leed permanent or money refunded. Yuu eaoj
work et ery day, no matter what your uccujhv.
lion, without, i.amrer or incoiivenii ime. t;im.
saltations free. Olllce In urs from 10 to 4 daily.
Correspondents will enclose slump for reply
and adilres lira. Korden ft l.uther, rooms 8 and
8, First National bank, Portland, Oregon.
Mention this paper.
I'or fjilurrSial nnd Tlirortt
ItiHorderw, "Brouti'$ Branchial
Trmhea" are renowned and marvellously
effective, giving immedlat- relief.
"THE OLD SELLABLE" GORDON
Job Press is the strongest. Registers
accurately, at high speed. Is the easiest
running press in the market. Is sold at
a figure within teach of all. Has patent
throw off and chase-hook. Palmer &Itey,
Portland, have all sizes on hand. Is made
In two sizes -8x12 and IPxlS-wllh throw,
off. For sale by Palmer & Rey at prices
that defy competition. Address Palmer
& Rey, Printers' Supplies, Portland, Or.
When D iby was sick we gave ber Castorla,
When she was a Child, she cried for Cu-torla,
When she became Miss, she long to Castorla,
When she had ChUdreashe gave theniCastoria,
No Opium In Plso's Cure for Consump
tion. Curea whereoiherremedies fail, iioc
Go to Towue & Moore when in Portland
for best Photographic sjid Cravon work.
Tut f?vVK 'or iirelrfi'
Oyer 6,000,000 people US.-
FERRY'S SEEDS
D.M.FERRV 4CO.
ara admittea lo ne tne
URGtST SEEOSMtl
us iA teorid.
D.M.FERRf ICQ'S
Msaw. I ll.atral4l. UtM.
rlfrtpUtsjU'rl
f ' W J
apflicAiiU. wid
UiUAmwni
Wilbtmw ur
itMlftS4ttlttt
AVII VrsTTlf PIT
1 A.m W.Ul mm
ftovwr Hkfeim sAonfel
vnd for tl. Addml
Datrolt, Micrw
E. J. BOWEN,
C5 Front St I'OltTLAXD. OREGON.
Garden, Flower and Field Seeds, Clover
Grsasea, Alfalfa. Onion Bets, etc. etc. In all
varietira and lots to suit.
Larnust and most complete stock lu the
Northwest.
Merchant, farmers and gardeners are r
qnested to write fur price.
Illiitrnteil t'atnlogne nailed Free.
A. f'ELDENliEiMER
The Leading and Reliable
JEWELER
Of Portland, Oregon
ICur. Flrt and MorrlKn 8Ui.
COUNTKY OKIiKKN Mill, I t'ITRI.
TNUtEV
Length ofCuWntEa fcc
Carefully nuwle. well Aolnhed. eSna cniLLKD, aa4
hard aa akwl, equal lo th twai atcal atvxlf In auttana
qualities. W f uarautea them Vo In rrarlwlly aa rl
aa the nmat axpumSn artiola. NltUlLV A A LIS!"
A MH IL, 628 Market Str l, nep. Ciliot Haul H.F.
HcrkaMlra' Towla. Hani ware aud Marhtwer
Plso'a Itfanedr Air CVarrn Is the
Best. Easlwl to I1 and Uieapesb
Alan awwt Sir OnM In the Bead.
Baadaclie, Bay Ftver, Ac lu oeuta.
IimrilOR ALL. $30 a week snd expenses
WllKKpaid. Ooult worth faiid part lenlars
llUllrVfree. P.O. tICKEMY.Auifusta.kte.
The Van Honciscar
DYSPENSARY,
POHTLAND, OB.
Toanc. Kidifl aid and
etd stasia ot mafnad bm
acd all wbi, anSrr with
LOST MAN HOOD I
Karroaa IXnSt;. Siiaim'
SjarhM. Hwntnal IxaMW
' jJ Kiiarfy. aan Bluad ai4
-' Skin ISM.SM. SmSilSa,
KrapSlna. Hair ValliaS
Hum Paiaa, S wUnfl
b.m l.i.i t-imm St
facta Maieiirjp. KklaaT
ui4 Hlaildv Tfolkln
Watt Mack, Itamlnf FrhM Unoofrkaa, Olaat, liWWS
ara ywirl nliaf and aura fr life,
lteilh aer S II . enfldea tlally
OFFlCIS-tSa 1M THIRD 8T.
9 9P . TfRlt
mmm
- v.;: j. 1 1 rwfirr For 867
. aai .SjSVli S race tn all
fxr''ii.iWvW
. .t jut
K. P. N. C. No, Is -a. F. K. tj. Ns. !U