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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 9, 1886)
' PERSONAL AND LITERARY. Rev. George Washington la chap.' Iain of the British Legation atConstB tinoplo. Jucob Twaddlo, of Steubcnvllle, O., Wind from hia birth, claims to bo able to toll the color of a hone by tho senso of touch. Mm. Mark Hopkins shares with Mr. A. T. Stewart the distinction of being the richest woman in tho world. A'. Y. Bun. John C. Carr, of West Nowbury, Mass., having for fifty-two yean served as town clerk, absolutely refuses re election. Boston Herald. Ilia wife is tho only nurso Mr. Gladstone baa when hia health is broken, and he gives himself Into her hands with tho docility of an infant. M:iry Anderson Is computed to bo worth fcWO.WO, which is said to be wifely invested In real estate, pas stocks and railway shares, both in En gland and America. iV. Y. Tribune. The Duchess of Hamilton is ono of the most notablo sportswomen in England. She recently followed tho hounds and closely throughout a chaso of three hours, covering twenty five miles of country. ' "Mr. American Minister Phelps" Is an expression of the Springfield Union. Almost ns bad as tho 'Mrs. ex Lieutenant (iovernor Tompkins," which otiou appeared in a Boston new paper. Boston Globe. Senator Stanford, of California, says that, ho camo very near being a newspaper man Instead of a million aire, lie wanted to start a paper in Wisconxin, but could not get his outiit this side of Pennsylvania and then gave Up tlie enterprise. Chiraijo Inkr U.ean. Mr. Josheo, tho Hindoo lady who lately was graduated from the Wo man's Medical C'ollego of Pennsylvania, carefully preserved her caste while in this country to insure her reception in liight-cast families in India, and even cooked every ono of her own meals and served herself at table. Mr. Hi Jiry Bergh is tho ono Judicial officer in New York who Is not depend ent on tho caprice of polities for reten tion of his office, lie Is .assistant district attorney for life and permanent assistant to tho Attorncy-Oiineral. These positions were given him in lHt!(i and are limited to the 'enforcement of laws for the prevention of cruelty to animals. JV. x. Tribune. There is a photograph of tho late Alexander II. Stephens in the posses sion of Major Lamar Coho, of Athens, Ga., in which thu Southern statesman is represented us sitting with logs crossed and tho bottom of both loet resting squarely upon the floor. This was a favorite position of Mr. Stephens, and it is said In it no one has jot been able to rivul him In this aerobutio feat. Chicago Time. HUMOROUS. We wltnossod a fowl proceeding from tho window of our ollloo ono day this woek. A hen walkod by. New man JmlependenL "John, it Is quite dim in this room. What is the matter?" " I don't know; I lit the gas half an hour ago and it should have made plenty of light by this t;mo."-lfc' Hun. Lady (in shoo store) "I would liko to look at some cloth slippers for myself." Clerk (until recently in tuo dry-goods lino)" Yob, maduin; some thing nil wool and a yard wide?" Harper' $ llazar. Fish dealer "Ilavo a nice llsh, ma'am?" Housekeeper "Why, this is Tuesday. That lisli wouldn't keep un til Friday." Fish dealer "I know It, ma'am; that's why I want to sell it now." ni bus. After a terrible struggle a party of men on a Western train succeed d in disarming a lunatic, thereby saving other lives. It was a close call, though. Later advices show that tho luuatio was armed with anaccordeon. I'rairia Furm r. "Ephlum.what makes so many cat 'tails grow in dis heuh pon'P" ' Well, ' 1 woud sayl J)oan you knowP Why, dey prows up from kittens tint people hea u row tied In do poll', of course. Tears like von wlminin folks doim 1 know nullln'boutaglieulUihah." Life. True to tho - letter: Slowdrop "Got my cabinet photos ready?" Pho tographer ' Next Wednesday woek." "See here, th la a swindle. Your ad vertisement says: 'Cabinets finished while you wait' " "Well, you're waiting, are you not?" " F.li? oh, yes I M."rhilMMihia Call. An outside passenger by a ooaeh had his hat blown over a bridge and carried away by the stream, "is it not very singular,' said he to a gentleman who was seated beside him. "that my hat took that direction?" "Not at all,rt replie I the latter: "it is natural that a beaver should take to tho water." Jf. Y. Tel gram. The London Timet prints the fol- , lowing story of "a certain Irish M. P.." who had been describing his travels in the far West and the "virgin forests" there: "What is a virgin forest?" asked an auditor. "Ph wut is a vairgln forest is it ye whant to knowf A vairgin forest, oor, is one phwere the hand of man has never set fut, bcdadl" At home and abroad: II.n tess (to Hobby, who is dining out with his mother) "Will vou have another piece of pie, Hobby?" Hobby "Yes'm." Hostess (smilingly; "And so you are one of tho fortunate little boys whose mammas let the in have the second piece of pie?" Hob. by "Yes'm; she does when we're out visitin', but at homo 1 never get but one piece" Harper's Dasar. Alters the Case. Mr. Oldhead-No, Clarissc. my child, I must be firm. 1 can not consent to your marriage with Eugene Muldoon, Clarlsse Hut why, papa? Eugene is young, handsome, talented Oldhoad (firmly) Enough! He is a plumber, and tho winter b o'er. Clarissc You do not know, then, that he is only a plumber in winter? In the summer he is an Ice man and Oidhead (with rapture) An lea mau! Sav no moru; ho is yours. J'Uln.L.liJna CalL COLLEGE AMUSEMENTS. Faaav Praakt of Harvard Boys When En tering wret Hoeletlra. A young man was seen entering one of our hotels a few days ago clad in a most eccentric costume. . He wore upon bis bead an old-fashioned "stove-pipe" bat, with square brim and of rather di lapidated form, upon his back a full dress coat, covering a waistcoat of red and white jersey in fact a rowing Jacket while in lieu of a necktio he had a leather shoestring carefully tied in an elaborate bow in front. A green umbrella in one hand and a riding spur upon ono shoe completed tho accoutre ment of this youth. Ho was alone in his glory, for no ono else around wore a similar luxuri ous costume; but he was not alono so far as company was concerned. Some half-dozen young men followed him as he' walked up the marble steps of the cntranco the observed of all tho ob serversand advanced with slow and measured tread into the waiting-room. Thcro was a long-faced, yellow-haired stranger from tho rural districts seated at a table struggling hard with a blunt pencil to indite a few words on a postal card, evidently a note home announc ing his safo arrival in tho city. The new-comer marched solemnly up to the writer and gently scratched the back of his neck. The countryman turned around and viewed with astonishment tho "creature" before him. It opened its mouth and began to speak. "You, I believe, the man who eats peanuts ore?" were the words uttered, t "What?" cjaculatod the man at the desk. "liic, hacc, hoc, Mumm's extra dry, soc ct t mi m," responded the inhabitant of the dress-coat and rowing jacket in a deep, sepulchral voice, whilo he em phasized each word by a punch with his green umbrella upon the Hoar. Tuo man from the backwoods started up in unall'ected terror. Visions of es caped lunatics Hashed through his head, and ho evidently expected to have some act of violence immediately attempted. Hut at this moment a roar of laughter from the door attracted his attention, and looking in that direction be saw a half-do,en faces extending into the broadest possiblo grins. The ec centric. Invader, too, heard the laugh ing, and apparently recognizing in that a signal that his duty was accomplished, turned about and stalked solemnly from the hotel, followed at a respectable dis tance by his six laughing companions. They proceeded to Howdoin square, and there boarded tho car for Cambridge, leaving it at the Harvard College grounds. In fact, the young man was not a crazy person, not an eccentric being, not an overdudish dude, but a bright young student of nearly two years' standing, a sophomore candidate for tho "Institnto of 1770." Every year this sceno occurs in one form or another, sometimes enacted in Cambridge sometimes in the suburbs, sometimes with ono youthful aspirant as the singlo victim, sometimes with two or threo together, and this is almost the only evidence given to out siders of the existence of the institute. Every thing else connected with sopho more society is kept as rigidly secret as are the affairs of older societies in later life, but tho humorous exhibitions of tho open-air initiation ceremonies are as greatly enjoyed by outsiders as by members of the institute. Whenever one of the queerly -dressed novitiates appear on the college green a score of windows go up and as many heads are stretched out to see the fun sure to follow. Soma old member of the institute whistles. Tho "about-to-be" member immediately respond to the call and in obedience to commands now essays to scramble up a tree, now hops on one foot buck and forth over tho walk, now carefully picks up every stone that Is to be seen and deposits them at some prootor's door, now warbles a musical (?) ditty or plays the baas viol, using some other unfort unate as the viol and his own arm as the bow, and so carrying on tho most ridiculous and laughable maneuvers which one could imagine. Ho dances a clog or walks bow-legged across tho ground; ho marches gravely up North avenue clothed in whatever fantastic dress his tormentors can devise; he en ters a confectionery store aud asks for ono cent's worth of bonnet, or orders a yard of mutton from tho astonished clerk in a dry-goods store; he mounts a horse car and informs the conductor that the wheels of his car are loose and rolling round, or does any thing else which fate, in tho shape of one or moro senior mumbcrs.-shall declare. Boston Jourtml. DIVORCES IN FRANCE. Th Number of Ilivorr IVtltloni Lot fed In Fhr Months. The law establishing divorce in Franco camo into force on the 27th of July, 1884, and tho statistics relating to the administration of justice in that year, which have recently been pub lished, show to what extent the new law was taken advantage of in the first five months of its being in force. Dur ing that period 1,773 petitions for a di vorco were lodged; but out of this total all but 124 were for converting a sepa ration into a divorce. The total num ber of petitions for a .separation was 3, 6(6, or 49 fewer than in 1883; but of these petitions 386 were based upon an allegation oi adultery, as against only 198 attributed to the same cause in the previous year. In 84 coses out of 100 the petition was lodged by the wife. In more than half the petitions for divorce there was no issue by tho marriage. No definite information is furnished as to the profession of tho different petition ers. Hut 2,821 separations for divorca were successful. Out of this total 601 divorces and 728 separations were granted in Paris; while of the other de partments in France, five (the Ariege, the Cantal, the Corrcze, the Losere and the Savnic) had not a single divorca case in the first year. A'. Y. Post. It is told how the brother of a fair bride threw an old shoe at the groom on the conclusion of the ceremony. It says that the groom vigorously objected to this time-honored custom, not so much because it hit him in the back aa because the brother's foot was in it. Y. Y. TJegram. A BUSY DAY. Dow Dill Arp dprnt It In Plauant and Profltahla Work. I don't work very much, not very bard, nor very long at a titno, but it seems to me that I am always busy. My neighbors call mo a gentleman farmer, but somehow I can't catch up with what is to do. Every day that Comes I promise myself somo time to read and answer letters, but the time never comes nowadays, for I dis charged my darky the first day of the month, and now have to take his place and cut stovewood, and help Curl" to feed, and, tote witter, and work in the garden, and grease tho buggy and har ness the horses and the like. I thought that to-day would be an easy day, but I got a bint that somo blue-grass sod was wanted on the south side of the house, and was told where I could It, and so 1 had just finished that when Carl told mo that Tom Moore, one of my tenants, would swap wors and lay off my corn rows if we would drop corn for him, and so we went at that and got through by dinner, and I was so tired I could hardly drag ono leg after the other. I carry too much om bongpong to walk much now. Just ns I had straightened out on the sofa in a horizontal uttitudo, the girls came in and said tho bees were swarming, and had settled on a peach treo. Well, I am afraid of bees, but still I like to monkey with them, and I don't like for them to go off, for Cobo savs when you lose a swarm of bees it's a sign of bad luck to come. Of course 1 don't believe it, but still I don't like to lose them any more than I like to sec the new moon over my left shoulder, ami so I got the hive ready and rubbed it inside with peach leaves, and put a table right under the swarm, nnd an old quilt on the table, and tho hive on the quilt, and then sprinkled them with some sweetened water, and bcrin to brush them down gently, when sud denly ono of the little varmints popped mo on tho back of the nock. I worked mighty fast with my hand and struck every way for Sunday, and I killed him, but he drew the first blood and it hurl, and the children stood up and cackled like It was splendid fun. Hut I j I them harmonized in due time, nnd just as they began to occupy the new quarters I heard another humming nnd buzzing in the air over me, and, sure enough, there was another swarm just out. They circled around and around awhile and then settled on another peach tree near by, and, as I had no other hive ready, I had to make one, and while I was hiving them I got popped again on the hang-down part of my car, and it seemed to me that was the worst sting I ever did have. I put some wet soda on it and kept on with my business and got them all housed by the middle of the afternoon It is very soon for bees to swarm up in this country, and they say the sooner the bettor. " An Apr 1 swiirm of bp 1 1 worth a ensk of cheese; A swnrm of boon In May Is worth a loal of hnr; A swarm of bees In J unt Is worth a powter spoon." . That is an old Yankee rhyme that 1 have heard my father repeat. Soon after I got through with the bees Carl came up from the branch and said there were two whooping big moc casins roosting on a bush that hun i over the water, and so I had him to load tho gun, and wont with him to see what kind of a snake-killer ho was. Ho got them both in range and blaz.nl away and killed tho pair at ono shot, and he was so proud he swelled out and stretched up smartly. We then slipped along the branch quietly and In half an hour had shot seven. I never saw so many snakes out on dress parado this early in the season. I wonder if Henry llergh has got any conscientious scruples about killini; snakes! That Is one commandment in Scripture that I always obey: "He shall bruise thy head." Next wo had to run an old sow out of tho meadow. She got in at the water-gato, but she wouldn't go out there, dogs or no dogs, and so we had to drive her out at the front gate. Hy this time the sun was most down, ami I finished up the day with bringing water and putting a hen and her young chickens in tho coop. The peafowls are so jealous that we have to put all tho hens that have little chickens in coops to keep tho peafowls from driv ing tho mothers away. They seem to want thechickens themselves. Atlanta (Ua.) Constitution. A THIEF'S HUMOR. The Charaeturlatln Letter of a Berlin Pick pocket to On of HU Victim. Berlin pickpockets are not devoid ol humor, as appears from the following Instanco: Some weeks ago a lady hail ing from Silesia, while on a visit to Berlin, was relieved ut the opera-house of her pocket-book, containing about five dollars. Ten day, later, having in the meantime returned to her home, she had her pocket-book and money sent back to her by registered package and accompanied by the following let. tor: "Most Honored Lady: Little I had thought when I made the daring dive Into your pockot that my find would fall so far short of my expecta tions. You can not conceive how much money is necessary to live here at Berlin in a decent manner. I took you for a lady from a provincial town who had come to see the sights of Ber lin with a full bag, and thought to make a good raise. But seeing so lit tle in the pocket-book I have come to the conclusion that you need it worse: than 1 do, and therefore send it baok to you, hoping to brintr you to a sense of respect for our calling. The next evening I found In tho pocket of my neighbor a portfolio containing three thousand marks. That at least was worth while. You perhaps will wonder how I got your address; but we Berlin ers are great fellows. But, to be truth ful, without the help of your janitor J should not have succeeded. In conclu sion, I ask yon to kindly pardon my mistake and at your next visit to the capital to bring along a little more money." Chicago Tribune, A lover, who evidently wished to be economical in time, wrote: "Not having seen you 4 a week, I am look ing forward 2 seeing your dear face." A COUNTRY SCHOOL. Correct IVit-anrt-litk Hketeh of Small Connecticut Village. In a prominent but quiet villng gome two miles from tho center staiiu an old school-houso, whose weather, stained boards show the marks of 1 1 least a century. , , Alone, upon the summit of a lii.v hill, this unpretending templo of lean, ing has been tho structure used forgeii erations iu climbing the hill of scieiuv. The march of improvement has been carefully kept back from its surround ings, the only adornment being beds of rock and piles of stone, which are only changed as the careful farmer or labor-saving road-master finds it a con venient place to add to its already overburdened stock. The same old plank on which our grandfathers so industriously used their jack-knives is to-day the writing desk around tho wall, save where a place has been whittled too much to bo of further service a new pieoo has been inserted, giving the youth of tho present day cnlargctTfacilities for dec oration. . In front are the same old wooden benches over which the chil dren of to-day swing in and out after the fashion of their grandmothers in days of long ago. The presiding genius of the place is even in keeping with tho surroundings; a mnster in win ter to manage turbulent boys, and while his farm demands his attention during tho summer months, some schoolmarai tills up the interval and aids overburdened parents in the euro of children who are in the way at home. 'As one old master is obliged to lay aside the duties of his office on account oft.ho infirmities of age or to go to his last resting-place, a new one is found so nearly like tho old that the chaugo is hardly perceptible. Even the very ferule and hickory club aro carried and used as effectually as by the masters of a century ago. The children of to-day spell out the words in the Testament at the opening of school with tho same moderation as did their it cestors in '70, and the same old blue-covered spelling book is yet in tho hands of the pupils, keeping alive the momentous questions whether the man who made spelling-books and the one who talked politics were one and the some, nnd if so why should he live so much longer than other folks, and questioning the propriety of changing tho old catechism so as to read Nouh Webster, and not Methuselah, was the oldest man. But at length the march of improvement reaches our rugged hills and invades our territory. A young lady from the city, a graduate from a prominent high school, appears at the door of our district committee as a candidate for the school. Ho stares a departure from our custom, but will consult tho people of tho district and let her know. Unanimously they say: "We'll try the city lady.'1' She enters upon the duties of her office. Leaves all tho attractions of one of out prominent Connecticut cities to enter upon her life work as teacher. A young lady full of life, energy and deter mination to make her first effort a suc cess. The old school-house Is made to look more cheerful by the addition of a few yards of white cotton cloth at the win dows, and the blackboard instead ol being used for drawing caricatures ol the teacher, is kept filled with well-ex- edited school-work. The very school-room seems to be filled with a different air. No instru ment of torment is in view, and two dozen pairs of prying eyes have tr ed in vain to discover its hiding place. What, asehool with no whip! The city is fiKot1 with horrible means of torture nnn sortie dreadful thing must be here in visible. One sharp pair of eyes dis covers near the blackboard two oblong articles. "I have found out," is the first confidential talk with a compan ion. "She'll box us 'side the hea;! with those things by tho blackboard,'' and at the close of the session pup. I scattor homeward to make known to parents the wonderful discover. "Catch her using them things on n children," says ono parent", ami hi children return to school to tell what pa says. Another session and tho queer-looking things are taken in hand. Breath less silence reigns in the school-room. Who is the victim? The teacher quietly uses them for cleaning the blackboard, and the great mystery is still unsolved. Still wonders do not cease. A spelling class is called and a pupil spells c-o-w, kc-ow. Teacher says pronounce the word cow, not kc-ow. Class dismissed and atcloso of school teacher says: "Children, when vou meet a person on tho street say, 'llow do you doP' not 'Hello!' " Children look amazod and report to parents. "The teacher is overstepping nor duties, meddling with outside mat ters, and besides, is casting a retlection on the manners of the people." Mem bers of the board of education are con sulted as to the limits of a teacher's power. The six members of the board nave all presided as teaohers in the town, and it is against the rules to crit Iciso aty thing out of school-hours, and surely it shows a great lack of fa miliarity between teacher and p'upila not to say "Hello!" Now, here is our chance We have always succeeded in keeping city teacher out of the place.. We have teachors enough of our own and need the money ourselves, and we have quietly revoked city teach er's certificates on two occasions and they have been obliged to leave; so if we can only manage this one success fully, probably there will be no at tempt at city teaching for somo time to come. We will not have any new meth ods introduced here. The committee of the district is con sulted, but says: "Not a complaint has reached his ears from a person w hom ho considers competont to judge of tin merits of a school. Ha has visited th school, considered the teachin ' super ior, discipline excellent, anf even thing satisfactory." A meeting of the board is called in s retired place and the certificate is re voked lecause"new methods" are in troduced. Is it to be wondered at that In siv h r district, with thirty families four of tin male heads of tho families can n-'.t .e; read nor write, and the genera! i now coming on promises to even onr the former in ignorance? liar it CvuranL . THE OLD HAND-PRESS. A Tjpe-Fonndry Agent'a Futlla Effort to Bring It Into Ilrpute. A large man with a mustache brood ing over bis mouth like some great, National sorrow visited the Bell office this week. He was traveling for an Eastern house which makes a specialty of printing materials and sight drafts. He tried to sell us a large press witli wheels on it and a strongly mado and binding chattel mortgago attachment Ho spoke very highly of this latter feature and said their mortgages were never known to brouk. lie said the mortgages they were now putting in (or printers in tho Northwest were alike satisfactory to themselves und the sheriff'. Ho ulso spoko incidentally of the press itself and we gathered that it was to bo set up and fed with white paper, which would come out nioely printed with tariff" editorials and origi nal clippings. We judged that either a Democratio or Republican press could be ordered.and that there was no extra charge foe an attachment to run iu an original poem. Our first impulse was to soize a pen and writo out a check sufficiently able bodied to cover the cost of recording the mortgage. I urning we caught a reproachful glance from the dark, cast iron countenance of the old Washing ton hand-press and desisted. Part of the desist was caused by not being able to cull to mind the address of any bank which had ever put in sealed pro posals for handling oiw checks. To turn the matter off we asked the man if he had a sample press with him. He said he had not Then we said that wo did not believe that his house would start him out on the road without one, and that it" was our opinion he hud pawned it. Wo told him that wo pro posed to report him nnd that wo had no further use for him. Ho seemed agitated, and after leaving a bill for some type we ordered of bis firm lust week ho went out One of the kind of pressos he sells doubtless has its advantages, especially for use in daily offices in the larger places like New York. Still, in many kew York offices where the circulation is chiefly confined to the affidavit of tho business manager it would seein that the old hand-press would not be entirely out of place. When the press peddler had formally put on his injured look and jumped the office we turned to the old hand press with a sigh of relief. After all that stylo of press seems to give the greatest satisfaction. No one can write intelligently of the power of the press who has not pulled it. It seems to have early in life or dered a large consignment of choice, springy power and to still have most of it on hund. It is all used in hold ing back. The man who said the press was the greatest power in the world had pulled tho Washington hand vari ety. Some people may think that A ashington should have kept right on crossing the Delaware and freezing to death at Valley Forge instead of stop- ?ing to invent a balky printing press, he calm, dispassionate historian of the future who Is working by the day will have to decide this point All this will go to explain why we still work oft' the paper on tho station ary press when we might have on which would be amply competent to get up on the editorial tripod and put its feet on the table. Some people may prefer to have a press sitting around tho office blowing about having more brains than the editor but we do not long for it. Give us rather the simple society of the hand press which will not shy tit the cars and was never known to kick its hind feet through the dashboard. Eslelline (D. T.) Bell. HE'S BEEN THERE. Why a Tramp Quit Traveling and Took to Washing tluugles. "I was a tramp for several years," said a buggy-washer at ono of the livery stables the other day, "and I might have been on the road yet but for the circumstances which deprived me of this left leg at tho knee. A tramp with a wooden leg would be no where, while I get around the stables at a fair gait." "What was the cireumstanceP" "Well, seven or eight of us were tramping togethor through the oil regions of Pennsylvania, aiid one day one of the gang stole acunoutof ashed in the woods. It contained nitro glycerine, but none of us knew the article then. He carried it for about an hour, when we all bunked down in the shado for a noon-day nap. Some of us were half asleep, and we were all packed together under one tree, when the man picked up a stone and began hammering at the can. 1 was looking at him out of one cyo, and I was won dering whether the'ean held oil or lard, when all at once the vaults of Tfonvon ell to earth with a crash. Half an hour later, when I came to, I was ly ing in the bushes two hundred feet from the tree, and my foot, ankle and leg were a mass of pulp." "There had been an explosion?" "Yon bet! There was a holo in the ground into which you could have dumped a cottage, and the big tree was a heap of kindling-wood. Out of the eight of us five could not be found, and 1 suffered the least inlura nf anv of the wounded. All that was gathered luguuier 10 represent five men were some bits of clothing and leather not over two quarts. That was a corker on me. Whenever I see a stray can lying around I lift my hat, take a circle to the right or left, and pensively ob serve: -Not any to-day, thank you I ve been there !'" Detroit Free Press. ' , tot I, ... th th rrx is la: o: th w th la' P cii fr so tli The city of Newark, N. J., was in corporated on March 18, 1836, and the act went into effect April 15. Tho vil age of less than twenty thousand in habitants in 1836, is now a cosmopol itan Cltv. and th t.n A l , "t""" vi more man one hundred and fifty thousand people. Herr Most has been circulatin his racta up in New Hampshire. Ho gives I ill instructions how poverty nuiv be trcvented by murder and embellish -s he teachings with diagram's showing he construction and operation of iu" lernal machines. JV. I. XaiL rtrtoUNAL AND IMDr., -A citizen of Allendale. S . I Just begun cutting a new 1, H lie is fifty-one yefrs oil 01 V selected by General Grant I! N each a copy of his book, four k. 1 v'' An Oconee (Ga.) , elffhtv-six vear. ni;t i. , J -Sam Jones, the reviv.ld small eater. He U fond ft' milk fruit and lemonade, 1 drinks coffee occasionally. Ex-Senator Conkline',bii, ing as counsel for the New Yu w s Railroad Committee in the in tion of the Broadway Street franchise was twentv tK ,' and it has been allowed.-.v, dom. committed suicide inSe,t the other day. Keeper Fowm ' has been at tho mortrn i,..V years savs that this i"ti, . : H suicide among tho Chinese to L.i Mia Mnrcrnn.t Matk- .. has played nine hundred and , mreu uuies in puoiie (lllrinjr & four years. She has never L time missed a single enm late at a performance or cauj,j wan. ane is justly proud j record. Cliicago Journal. Mrs. Charlottn U.l,l r.. died in Hamonassett, Conn, aj hi ine age oi ninety-three wast' local antinuarian and the age of eighty-six she w! puDiisneu tne History of the W(; ily, covering the period from 1878. Hartford Post. Mrs. Charles F. WocrisholTer i of the lato "bear" stock specu' New York, is one of the we ladies in (be country. She h&dj 000 in her own right before band's death and she has come i: estate, which is estimated at $8,000,000.-iV. Y. Mail. burner s Doyish home at Jf field, in Saxony, has iustbeenrJ as iar as possioio to its original t tion when the Reformer'! p. dwelt there four centuries in old house had become nnwij dated. Wow it will be inhabit body of deaconesses, who will i and care for the sick and poor it town. Sir Sidney Waterlow and kii are anions- the notables in W'uV- Lady Waterlow was a Californin j l. m r . .. oaugnier oi ueorge tiamittoi when she met Sir Sidney she wit -pying the position of society ti; the San Francisco Examiner, iai; her work well. Her husband i Mayor of London, sixty yean oil very wealthy. Washington Slut, The Hotel Mail comolaini "there are too manv snnha it m. officiating as clerks in the off first-class hotels too many 1. youths, notorious for incomprt and vulgar taste in dress. Tht sons are valueless to their ran!: and of little service to paifuos of ( house. They seem to take esptr pains to be rude and discouriwm'" : .1 .. .1 , ..,..( ... ! ' :u t uuuurs in every jjohsiuib way. a 'A LITTLE NONSENSL' Gentleman Come, little pit can sit on my knee. Little pn- won't neither unless maramadoe' Didn't bother him: Lectmj will pause until that young mini back ol the hall stops .waitf. Young man (cordially) Go ri$ you are not bothering me. A correspondent wishes lot how editors spend their leisure k Leisure hoursP oh, yes; thejri them catching up with their W; Burlinqton IVt.) Free Prtst. According to a health Jotj marble toD tables are unbelt though we never heard one compel feeling unwell. They lookjif healthy and strong as any other u N. Y. Telegram. A telesrram says "the Indiuf bein-r hemmed in.'T This i enr; ing. They have been putting j many inns ol late; mil we umr fcr to hear that they wcrebeinp Norristown Herald. A matter nt Hiaoinline: There's no use pulling thattooti t as sound as can be. Citizen-'-! don't care if it is. Pull f I'm bound to make an eiMOf ' for tho benefit of the rest.-W-' There is a man twenty-ti1.'; old living in Athens who V his first pair of shoes Friday. long time to go barefooted, butii be considered that the mn bai r but fOa.) Etiouirer. She (to young man who talking in a somewhat gioou Aren't you something of P", Mr. L.? Mr. L.-I beg F She Aren't you something ' simist? Mr. L.-N-noj I' cvclist N. Y. Times. Champoireau is sometime'; UI1I1UCU. 1UU uiuvi U-Y hair cut, and when the 1 . .1 L . mirror. "Ion have got -1 he said to the barber, and w-J himself again in the chair." i Paper. . J -"Doctor," said he, as he en office, "I don't know what tM is, but I can't sleep at night , is your business, my friend. i s piumuer, air. .. to cure your conscience. Newt. ' A Frenchman went into , street restaurant and ete?Dtj7s( fore a mound of butter. ,.p sup, and a soiled tablecloth. 0 UCTC, V. L ..... oper.-, h msell'l Vrtn "Parlez-vous " "WleL shouted the Irish waiter. tay or coflyf "Puck. "Adonis" Dixeysnd J1'' are having such hard lucljj. tt r tt,. Ka. m.. kni onmDell1 .J uoo nurj Uiaj ira i ..fflf; v i. . b-a them iiuiuo. xi. mar auiuiu faction to know uhat. theory oi a scienAinc ft it will dry up insidt of 10,0).' Xorrulown HeriaU.