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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 14, 1885)
NO itOR TO ME. Alone and ll'iit I t In my room, Whi-n the Kr.h I irlii Un H-1, jtndwai to hour, Hi rough tbe fathering rlooni. The footsteps of the nVsJ. nut no aounl 1 h-r. ami no t'ght 1 e. Vr mj love come back no more to uie. How soft the llirht of her tender yes. At she amlle'i In her ad, "'t way: At we stood Ix-nealh the glowing- skies At the clow of that liliful lavl That amlle. when I cloe my eve. I aee, llut roy love ci-uiea uscit no more to tne. Too fond for kltw-i or warm embrace. What could wedo but aland. And ve and take, with tender f race, Tlie thr ll of aclao ns hand.' That hand no more In in.ne ahull be, or uiy love comes back no wore to ma. If love and pity o hand In hand, How oiiicalv tlK'jr mav learn What (trlef remain for tlioe who stand, And wait their love's return. That a-rief In mr heart muM always be. For my love cornea bac no tn - to ma. Henry Schrll UMnqitr, in Currtiil. STE P-3I0TI I Eli S. A Few Words in Behalf of This Misjudged Class. The world is every day growing more humane, more just and charitable. The narrow, social, secular and religious walls that have so Ion; divided man from man are breaking down. Human sympathies' an? broadening, ample elbow-room and fair play seems to be the mo' to of the present ger.erat on. Hut amid ail the humanitarian prog ress of our age there remain a few prej udices that like rank weeds defy all ef fort at extermination, and foremost among these is the old time prejudice against st-p mothers, a class that with mothers-in-law niav justly claim to be the most ill-treated poi Von of the hu man race. The step-father and the father-in-law awaken none of this antipathy which society, with an unpardonable lack of chivalry, visits upon that so-called weaker set it cla ms to protect and cherish. The very word step mother recalls a series of portraits now pathetic, now repellent portraits stowed away in most memories from fairy tales and picture-books that were both the de light and torture of childish days. On the one hand we see the step-child. half clad, balf-fel, groaning tinder the lash of a cruel tusk-m stress and tyrannical usurper a pole, sad, forlorn, ghostly little creature, who, after the arduous tasks of the day are ended, steals softly to the grave of the own mother to pour forth unavailing plaints and tears upon that senseless sod to pray in agony to be laid at rest from life's sorrows by the side of the ono heart that has beat in unison with its own. The reverse of this doleful picture is the step-mother a grim, remorseless female with east-iron features and Me dusa glance, with a nose and chin sharp as her temper and almost meeting over the toothless jaws, with long arms end ing in skeleton lingers that delight in blows, with a heart hard, preveise and hideous as its outward tenement. The world abounds in step-mothers. We all know them, but who has ever seen one answering to this picture? The actual step-mother is no being a art; like men and women in general, hIio - has her full share of faults and virtues. Hut in her case the faults are exagger ated, the virtues scarcely recognized. She is a martyr to whom few ere will ing to accord the martyr's crown; a tragic heroine who may never expect to find her poet. Her history, save in cx ceptiomil cases, may be sketched as follows: lly marrying a widower she has be come nt the same moment both wife and mother. She enters the new home with a heart full of kindly sentiments, with a sincere desire to take the own mother's place to the child or children Heaven has bereft of maternal care. The more children there are, the harder and more complicated becomes her task. We will take the easiest case and supxN0 thttre la only one, but tunt this one is a girl a loss' facile subject for ten-motherly management than a boy. The tdep-mother's tirst meeting with her little charge (whom Its father's fond eulogies had led her to believe an angel all but the wings) t not encouraging, hlw linds averted glances where she had hoped fur the gaze of truthful, trustful eyes; her caresses arc repelled, her loving words awaken no response. The 1 ttle one is shy and distant like most children in the presence of strang ers," savs the father; "she will soon learn to love you." Months pass. Tho child has grown accustomed to the new mother's pres ence, to tho new atmosphere of care and tenderness, but she remains dis tant. Tho little soul, that should warm to these caresses as tho spring soil warms to the sunlight, is still cold and tmmsM)iisive. The sweet cherub has smiles for others, sunny glances, kindly words and merry laughter for all the world but her step-mother. Her gayety abroad is in strange contrast with her sullen obstinacy at home. Her heart seems an .tolian harp, responsive to every kindly outsido breath, echoing every voice of affection save that from her stepmother's lips. Tho step-mother broods over all this, asking herself the reason, and question ing her own conscience as to any remis sion in duty. She little dreams that some outsido Penelope is all the while busy unraveling her home-work. This l'enelo)e is presumably a relative or bosom friend of the tirst wife, who from a misguided sense of loyalty to the dead thus wrongs the living. The child, on her visits to these old friends nd relatives, finds herself the constant object of tearful lamentation. The one theme upon which thoy ring 'all sorts of changes, is her own mother the one mother who love i her so dearly. wh. were she living, would do so differently from the stranger who has usurKd her place; this stranger whom it is nothing Jess than sacrilege to call by the sacred name of mother. In short, the child is given to understand, more by covert insinuation than by di rect words, that any love or resiect she swards the living mother is robbery of the dead. l'crhapsshe learns this lesson at home from'some old family servant or gov erntvis a person not bad at heart, but the victim of a suspicions nature that magnilies molehills into mountains, or tt a mawkish sentiment&litr that dis cerns in the dpar departed rendered doublv dear and sacred by death vir tues that would be impossible to any inhabitant of this world. 'Toor moth-erl-ss little creature!" '-Sweet, for saken darling!" "lively innocent!"-r-these words uttered in every note of the gamut of sympathy form the con stani refrain ol the tune the child hears early and late, and it is no wonder that she ere long comes to regard herself as the most forlorn and ill-treated of human beings. Thus early schooled in self-pity, in distrust and hatred, she U indeed an object of commiseration. For the wisest reasons the step-mother den es the child some wonted yet harm ful indulgence, and thereby rouses a revolt among the whole circlo of spies and meddlers. Their manner declares to the object of their jealous care, even though words be wanting, that this woman, who has thrust herself into the own mother's place, lakes a malicious delight in crossing her, andg-rudges her even the most harmless pleasure. How is this young creature to believe In one whom all around her distrust? Hew, In her inexperience, can she be expected to obey that golden rule of love even to one who despitefully uses and persecutes her? Now comes the Christmas and fairy story books, with their gaily-colored pictures, to confirm what all the world says about step-motbers. These stories and illustrations are of all grades, from that of the step-mother who clothes her self and her own daughters in purple and tine linen and fares sumptuously every day, while the little step-child occupies a sort of Cinderella's place in the household, to that crowning atroci ty of a step-mother, who murdered her little step son and set his heart, nicely cooked and placed in a daintily covered dish, before his own father! Credulity is the leading trait of early youth. To the child, printed books anil pain led pictures never lie. This child fa rly groans under the weight of so much cumulative evidence against step mothers, and learns to doubt at an age whose supreme happiness is unquestion ing faith: to hate when the most beau tiful privilege of the human heart is to love. Th's po'soning of the very sources of the eh Id's love and trust must needs react upon the sten-mother. The no blest woman is still human. The Do na des of the old Greek myth, doomed through all eternity to attempt to till a bottomless cask with water, were as signed no more hopeless task than that of the unloved step-mother. The strongest sense of duty, the roost unselfish magnanimity, are likely, in the long run, to succumb to ingratitude. To give out love, the heart must receive love. The stream not replenished from a living fountain soon runs dry. The kindest and most affectionate nature grows unsympathetic if it meet only in difference, and a slighted affection often changes into dislike and even hatred. The wicked step-mothers of the story books and of the popular imagination have now and then found their counter part in real life, but in only exceptional cakes. The care of children, even if not one's own, tends to call out the best, rather than the worst, traits ol womanly character. Many a woman, in taking upon her self tho office of step-mother, seeks to kindle on the altar of a deserted temple the holy flame of a new affeetion and reverence. She sets for herself the high (ask of re-creating a domestic hearth in ;lie midst of loneliness and desolaton; rf be'nj; a true mother to children who nave suffered that supreme earthly affliction, the loss of an own mother. She gives to this work tho best years, the best energies of her life, only to tind the result estrangement, perhaps hatred. This state of things, deplorable as it is for her, is unutterably more so for tho stepchildren, who" are now forming characters for life, who must in after years look back upon childhood which should have been to them "a moment of (iod," as to a period of un rest, discontent and bitterness. Silent, intangible influences have been at work undermining tho happiness of the home which might have been an Eden, but which lias become a desert. Who is to blame for all this? The common verdict of society, constituting itself both judire and jury, would con demn the step-mother, whilo the father and the step-children would be pro nounced innocent. In the step-mother all family sins tind a convenient scape goat. Wo contend that whilo all these three part'es may be at fault, the burden of guilt rests with outside peo ple, with those influences of which wo have spoken which come from without the home. Let the woman who is not prepared to steel her heart against the steady as sault of outside enemies, who is not con tinent of her power to conquer by love and good works the foes that may arise in that new household, remain far from the homo where a bereaved husband bo wails his loneliness, and where chil dren, every one, most likely, an angelio being in his love-blinded eyes, await a stepmother. If she feels within herself the spirit of both hero and martyr, she nuty venture to assume this cross, hoping for the crown that In tho end awaits faithful endeavor and pious' sacrifice. It may bo given to her to perform that miracle possible btit to few step-mothers to win the entire love and coutidence of the children confided to her care. When she, too, lies beneath the sod, they may cherish her memory as that of a ministering angel who came to them in life's sorest need and desolation to re place the angel they had lost. And when light lips profane the name of step-mother, these step-children, bur dened yet with an unpaid debt of affec tion and gratitude, may attest that next to the name of own mother it is the most sacred word on earth. Francis J. Shaw, in Chicaqo Interior. "If vou are innocent," said a lawyer to his client, an old darkey, who was charged with stealing a ham. "weought to be able to prove an alibi. "i don t 'speets we kin," tho darkey replied doubtfully. "At what time was the ham stolen?" "'Bout lebben o'clock, dey say." "Well, where were you between eleven o'clock and midnicht in bed?" "No, sah; I wan hidin' de ham." Ttxat StjUnjs. The common school srstem of New Orleans was established in 1813. It was modeled exactly after that of Boston. OLD BOTTLES. tVlmt Tlreomet ol Tl.fin Altar They Have Ufa llU'tipeil liilo the Alley. In the cupboards of e-'ory house, piled up in out-of-th '-wav corners, and throwa about in dark and dusty noo'ss, where the housewife only goes ouco a year, when cleaning house, may bo seen empty bottles of all sizes, shapes and colors. Some have curioti-sme!i-ing li (iiids ii them that have been par ti illy used, and others are discolored b the drt iiifc up of their coutents. A gn at majority of these bottles, it is very plain to sea. wore tiie receptacles lor medi ioe at one lime. The mo and shape, denote th'-ir u-e. e en it Hie chem ical o lor that h tngs about them d d not betray the family medic no bottle. Once a year, or crimps not moro than once in three years, t e cupboards, da k closets and corners of the house are railel and the collection of oil bottl m are dumped into t'e alie. the housekeeper won!oiinx how it hap- ficntd that he overlooked the tra-h so on?. What be oines of the old bottles is a quest on that here presents itself, and. after a little investigation, a re port r is able to answer it Taking the bol 'o that is thrown away as a sa'nple, lor is chances for further use fulness te.-iu the m ist forlorn, would, if not Iroken by pa-sin? wheels, soon be seized upon bv the rae-picker. There is a regular t nde in old bottles, and special iniftiiry : .mrfle fltr them bv the ragman who has a" wagon. The all eventually find ti e r wav to the same place, the warehouse or sort-lng-roora of the wholesale dealer in rags, waste paper and other refuse matt-r. The old rag-picker brings in his assort ucut of bottles to headquar ters, and tuov are omdgned to a spe cial room, where they are treated to the first bsth received -ince orig nallv purchased,. The washing is thorough enough to remove all di -coloration in Jo. and to take off any labels that may bo attached. The various bottles are then carefully s Tied, each tUe is put together, and when a suflioient number of one kind i ' collected they are packed in boxes hold n one gross if mall, and from one to eix dozen if of larger sizes, and put away for sale. The amount of homeopathic medicine-bottles that thus reach the rag warehouso is enormous. These little receptacles of the suaar pellets and wh te pow ler distinctive of horoeop atliv tind a ready sale to homeopathic doctors. The bottles are assorted and delivered re dy for use again at ariiuch lower figure than the wholesale drug g st can supply them, and so there is a continual ebb and How of the little bottles from the house to the alley, thence to the rag-house, and then back once more to the doctor's ollice. Ordi nary druggists' vials are assorted in likt manner, and find a ready sale among tho smaller drug stores. Bottles of mied grades, such as patent medi cines are put up in, are moro dillicult to dispose of by the dealer. He finds a majority of them have the name of the medicine and the manufacturer's name blown into the glass, and the bottles can not be used very well for any other purpose than thoy were O'iginally in tended for w thout a osi bility of suit for damages being begun by the manu facturer. About a year ao a large quant ty of Lotties that had contained a certain patent medic ne were sold by a rag nfcrchant lo a person who wat engaged ii counterfeiiing the preparation. The fraud was for a long time undetected. and the name blown in tho glass deceived man1 into purchasing the bogus med icine. So many similar cases o-vcurrud that manufacturers took oceas on to stop the reusing ot their bottles bv a standing otter to buy baok all that were returne.l to thorn in good order. This opeued up a now field for the old bottle man, and therefore all bottles that havo patent-medicine manufact urers' names blown in them are the most sought after, for there is a cus tomer ready to bu. them who is only too anxious to do so. Another class of botth) is tho slight ly damaged o ics, old whisky bottles and a nnmorous assortment of un marketable kinds. These are broken U;i and sold lo bottle factories to be p it in the furnaces and renmcd with new material to be mude over for the trada. l'op bottles and othors used in k ndred concoct. ons for coiisumpt on in saloons, etc. are rarelv thrown away unless broken. The pop manufacturer allows a per centase oil the selling price where the bottles are returned to him intact A saloon keeper who sells a bottle of pop to be taken away from his premises invari ably re iiiosts the return of the bottle, ami w 11 pay a cent for it rather than not get it back. t'hicaqo Hews. m m , The Lawyers' Paradise. A stranger who had been by adver-s tiseinents induced to come to Arkan saw, met a gentleman in Little Hoo and said: Seem to have a pretty good co try here." - "Ye" ' . "Much killing going on about bre. "Not very much. " ( "Hanr follows here sometime dou t Uieyf" Sometimes." "Cojit opening here for wver, I upposof " Yos, very good" "Thev tell me that a lawr in this country is the boss." l "Wall, ha (ems to do vaV well. do vol lawyi to fa "Got a good many lawyrs out here that don t amount to run- 4 8UP" pose?" "Ves, several" "That makes a higher." Yes." . goodlawyer stand A eood lawyer h th ngs pretty muoh his own way." Does very well" "So I have heanj This is a great place for criminal jActice?" "Yes. pretty goof" "A lawyer can tan I in with the Governor and mal things howl?" "Yes. 1 believe" "(ilad to hear f My name is God son. What is yr name?" I am the L'of rnor." Collapstv Aatifdio Traveler. Globe Totters" is one of the names for IM tourists who take the beaten trackound the world. WHY THEY CONT MARRY. ImAj Clrrkt to the DruartmenU at VTah. I'Ctun. "She is a nice-looking girl, a very nice-looking girl," and the speaker threw his head on one side and assumed tin! gravely lellective air of a connois seur. The person thus criticised tripped along through the corridor of one of the department buildings, appar ently not only indiflerent to any possi ble criticism, but unconscious that she was being looked at She wore a dainty summer dress, and looked as feminine and sweet as a young, happy girl can look, and consequently the' Mar repre sentative could not forbear remarking to the watchman, as he loitered near the door, for a moment, that she was a pretty girL This official glanced at the fa'r v;s'on, at first in a perfunctory sort of way, and then, as the influence of this feminine beauty penetrated his soul, he relaxed from his official indif ference and uttered the above as his solemn if not enthusirs in conviction The young lady, ho it, was not aware that she had been officially stamped, as it were, as far as the in fluence and author tr of the watch force wont, but continued on her way to the desk where the Government claimed her services. "There are a good many pretty girls employed in this department," ob served the btar man as the watchman's eyes returned from fo lowing the re treating form, and as his countenance resumed the grav ty of official position. "Yes, there are," was the rather brief answer, as if the matter was hard ly worthy of further consideration. . "I suppose tl.at they all marry and leave you?" said the Siar man, in a mutter-of-coursj tone of voice. "Indeed they don't" replied the watchman, with returning animation. "It is very seldom any of them get mar ried." "Why. how is that?" asked the Star man. with prea'. interest "I don't know that I can explain it," was the response, "but at any rate that is the fact, as far as my information goes. I have bien in the Government employment for thirteen or fourteen years, and I donjt recollect in all that time ot more than four or - five of the ladies employed in this department get ting married. You evidently think that because that youug lady is pretty that he will bj married, but in a Govern ment department t e fair and plain seem lo have about the same fate. "Why aren't they married?" persisted the listener, as he thought of the ab surdity of such fair flowers being al lowed to waste their fragrance in soli tude. "They have opportunities. They are thrown continually in contact with men, and you know that department, clerks get marr ed, and they seldom marry rich wives. "As 1 told you," answered tha watch man, with some irritat on at the attemit to draw him into an argument, "I dor t know the reason why, but 1 know m fact, because it is the result of my personal observation. When the clirks marry they choose a wife outside o' the department, and they may not be rich or half as pretty and smart as be la dies he meets in the department, but nevertheless that is what thedepart ment clerk does, and has alwiya done since 1 have been heie." As he concluded with the aove, the watchman took' up a newspaper, and it was evident that the discuson was at an end as far as lie was concerned. The S'ur man, however, vas not sat is ied with his conclusion, nd the more he thought about it the "ore he was convinced that the vutchnian was wrong. The matter bean to grow in interest, and tho Mar nan, as he met witn people who' weild bo likely to throw light on the ubjoct, consulted them. Cne of these perns said: "I think that it is true but fw ladies in the de partments tnarry.and the reason for it in my opinion, "i that they have ac qu red an indeptidence and they don't c ire about relirquishing it Of course, if nn opportuptv should be presented of mak ng a irilliant marriage and ac quiring soeyl portion and wealth, I think that i a ma ority of cases the ladies vJ accept it But when a woman iarning her own living and has an irt'ome winch she can use as she pie.tses p average marriage does not presence inducements that it does to a womn who is ditlerently situated. lte.-si.M- such a woman's ideas are more praet&al and her appreciation of tho gi.cvf a dollar in every-day life does notAeed the ex erience of marriage on a siall income.'' ' ,nother person, in discussing the S-'tue matter, said: "I think that while great many ladies in the depart ments do not desire to niarrv unless Ahey can better the r condition, still it may be laid down as a general princi ple that they are apt to lose their at tractiveness in the eyes of men. Their constant association with men every day, their occupation, which is not, str etly speaking, feminine, causes them to lose that feminine grace and charm which is so intangible that it is felt rather than expressed. Men are at tracted to women because they are so ditlerent It is what we mean when we Seak of a womanly woman, and it is those qualities of mind and heart that rind their best development in the do mesticity of a happy home. Women are apt to lose the delicacy and charm of nature when thrown in daily contact with men, and they are apt to become masculine. I do not think that men arc attracted by wishy-washy women and pretty doll faces, and that in order to be womanly it is necessary to bo im practical and silly. But still I imagine that most men, and the best men, like feminine women; and. whilo it is not alnavs the case, still I think the ina.'ority of women in the departments L'raduaily lose this quality of their nat-ur-'." The S!ar man did not pursue his In nu r es any further, for, while not ex actly satisfied, still it was realized that the old adage, " Many men. many minds" was still true. Washington Star. The annual consumption of ivory is that produced by sixty-live thousand elephants. It It not known how long the supply may last but if it should cease substitutes for it would readily be adopted. Chicago Timet. BUILDING STONE. The Fttlure ot Tola Important In J us try lo Tula C ountry. - Concerning the future of the build-Ing-ctono industry little that is definite can be said. As the population in creases and becomes more fixed in its abode, there naturally arises a demand for a more durable bu lding material than wood, which is still largely used in the country towns and smaller cities. As wealth accumulates, too, better and more substantial buildings are erected, which are often profusely embellished with the finer grades of ornamental stones. The demand, then, is sure to increase. In regard to the amount of the supply there tan be no question; everything would seem to depend on the quality, variety, and cost of work ing of y'et-to-be-discovered material. Are we to continue to import as now the finer grades of our ornamental stones, or will our own quarries, yet perhaps to be opened, produce enough and more than enough for our own use? I am inclined to think the latter. In many of the Eastern and earliest to be settled States very little is yet known regarding their final resources. In Maine, for instance, fully one-half of the State is yet unknown land. Its present quarr'es are nearly all im mediately upon the coast What are the resources of its immense interior can not with certaintv be foretold. In the Southern and Western States and Ter ritories, this conditon of affairs is naturally greatly magnified. The Vir ginias, North and South Carolina, and Georgia, all contain excellent material, none of which is now in our principal markets. Michigan can furnish brown sandstones in great abundance fully equal to any now quarried in the more Eastern States, and other sandstones of a beautiful mellow tint are known to occur in Western Arizona The Rocky Mountain region contains an abundance, both in variety and quan tity, of gran tes. sandstones, marbles,, and the more recent volcanic rocks, as basalts, rhyolites and trachytes. Some of these are very beautiful, excelling anything in this respect from the East ern Stales. George P. Merrill, in Pop ular Science Monthly. AN ARCHITECTURAL WONDER. One of the Marvel of the Civilized World , A French Conception. Tie French are a people of ideas, am? as a consequence lead the world in many departments of science and a-t They know more about the con struction of the dramas than do the writers of other nations, and they are constantly furnishing novel concep tions in painting and statuary. The Bartholin statue is one instance of this. But they have another project on foot which 'promises to be one of the mar vels of the world. Mons. J. Bourdais, a French engineer, proposes to illumi nate all Paris by what he calls a Sun Column. It is to be one thousand one hundred and eighty feet high. The ground floor will be a permanent museum of electricity; super-imposed will rise a six-story column, sur mounted by a prom'nade capable of accommodating two thousand persons. The center, a granite core, will be sixty feet in diameter, and will be sur rounded by a highly artistic frame-work of iron faced with copper. This will be divided into six stores each, con taining sixteen rooms, sixteen feet in height and fifty feet square. These rooms will be used for what is known as terotheratic treatment Fatients will find here a purity of air equal to that upon the highest mountains. The central core of this giant monument will be hollow to permit the use of scientific experiments. On the top will bu placed an enormous electric lamp that will cast a flood of light over all Paris; it will have an in tensity equal to two million Carcel burners. Above all will loom up a statue representing the Genius of Science. This wonderful building, when finished, will be the most extra ordinary edifice in the world, and will add greatly to the attractions of the French capital. Dtmoresft Monthly. ALASKA. Forests Containing; Lumber Knough to ' Supply the World. Alaska forests contain enough timber to supply the world. The forests of pine, spruce, fir, and hemlock cover every island of the hrchipelago and a goodly portion of the mainland. The trees are straight and tall and grow close together. The only saw mill at present in operation is at Doug las Island, and so far there has not been a cord of timber cut for shipment The trees, as a rule, do not always cut up into good-sized boards. For fuel, however, the wood is excellent and much of it is available for bii'lding pur poses. There is little decorative wood, although the yellow pine is richly col ored and might be used to advantage in interior work. Alaska spruce is an excellent variety, and often meas ures five feet in diameter. It is considered the best spruce in the world, and the supply is very abun dant In the interior of the country timber is of much heavier growth than near the coast and on the islands. Re garding the hemlock, there is a large supply, and the bark compares favor ably with that of all the. Eastern trees used in tanning establishments. No one has yet attempted to com pute the value of the Alaska forests. It may be they will not be necessary for years to come, but whenever wood grows scarce elsewhere, or whenever civilization fastens itself upon Alaska, the timber of the region will be found ready at hand and existing in rich pro fusion. Calculating only approxi mately the value of our possessions to day, the forests must be considered. Practically inexhaustible, they add most materially to the wealth of the Territory. Saw Francisco Chronicle. For toothache take two parts of wax, two parts chlora hydrate, one part of carbolic acid; melt them to gether, dip a little cotton batting into the mixture, let it cool, cut off a piece, warm it and insert it into the hollow tooth. Boston Budget. THE LIME KILN CLUB. New Kulea The, PiMldent rhllaMphu. on the Mule, tha Meatber and Coma iretrolt Free Pratt There was an unusually large turnout at the regular Saturday night meeting, ami the half dozan Chinese lanterns which Git. adara Jones bad purchased at bis own n. penss and bung up around the hall pro! duceJ wf at Samuel Shin termed "A spec, tacltd affect of da wiljuat disorder." It was anmunceJ that the following Mw ml os and regulations would govern until iurttier orders: The hour for opening the regular mectint will be 8 o'clock. 6 No clay i Ipea over one year old can bs smoked in the library without special par. miwioo. Ihs eating of peanuts, popcorn, candy etc., during sessions is calculated to divert attention Irora t he solemnity ot tbe occasion and is therefore discouraged. Members who brin their dogs with them mtut be prepared for tbe wont. Any member found with his hat on after the triangle has sounded will be fined not len than t. AH religious and political discuwton fa strictly forbidden. Members are alao asked to abttain from telling fish stories or relat ing adventures with snakes and Indiana . I ffo m i BROTBEB OAKDKER SPKAKS. "Gem'len," said the president as be softly rosa up and calmly looked down on the shining pates of Sir Isaao Walpole and HJer Toots, "dar am some few things it would be wed fur you to disrecklect: 'De wan who sots on de fence when it sun shines will be diggin' fur grub when it rains. "Industry may make de back ache, but she fills de stomach an' kivers de feet "Do man who wants satisfauhun by law will satisfy de lawyer sooner dan bisjelf. ''Knot-Kin' a man down bekase he d iff en wid you doan' prove de truf of youc own posisuun. "De less a man knows de mo anxious he seems to be to make de public beliuxe he am a statesman. "Let us now attack tbe reg'lar programmy and destroy da bizness which has called m tozeder." Tbe secretary called attention to the fol lowing paragraph in The New York Sun: "Danforth Smith, a coki-ed resident of Eoboken, was yesterday tiuei 20 and sent to jail ler three months, lor brutal treat ment of his mule. He is said to be a mem ber ot Brother Gardner's Lime Kiln club. "Does his "ognornen appear on our roliif ask -d tbe president . "Tea, hah. He jined dis club one j'ar ago, and was perticklerly recommended fur his child-like dispodtioa." ' "You will at once notify him dat be am nispenr.el fur six months not fur woUopin' da mule, exactly, but mJ tekase he wat taught in ths act and sjqc to jail. 1 owns a' mule myuolf, aul white I strive to b placid an' forgivin' an' charitable, dar am occa sions whan I hat de ole woman lock me up uown cellar an' stand at de doah wid a shot gun. If she didn't 1 fhould jump in on dot mule au' pound bim till life was distinct. t hilo I sympaibiza wid Brudder Smith, be niui' stan' suspjud-'d in deference to public jpinyun." Giveadam Jones offered a resolution to the effort that the club adopt Professor Wig gins' weather predictions up to Jan. L Shindig Watkins objectul. He didn't be lieve in binding tbe dub to patronize any particular prophe-s weather. E.der Toott favored ths idea Wiggins had predicted mild winter, and if there was any mhd winter lying around looe ho wanted one. Tbe Rev. Penstock opposed ths resolutioa Wiggins had predicted a rainy rammer and he hid purchased a new pork barrel to pot under the eaves on tbe stronta of it Tbe bottom of tue barrel had scarcdy been wet this seas'. "Gem'len, " said the president with a de fire to cut short further debate, "I reckoo dis club bat bettor take de weather as find it De prudent man will pita up di wood, stock in de meit and taters an' de reni upon Providence fur an airly sprinj Do resolution am declarM outer order." The secretary than announce 1 the follow ing from Point Pleajant, W. Va, : I see that tbe Lime On club folks an not admirers ot "colored corn doc tori" Being a corn doctor and toe nail parer, I mcst earnsstly protest against ths late ac tion of the ciub, and hope it will be rtcoD-i-idorei I am also tbe proprietor and ma ufacturerof "Macamey's Lightning Com Exterminator," and shall forward a fret trial bottle to any one obtaining the certifi cate of Brother Gardner that he is a member in good stan ling in tbe Lime Kiln dub. Yours respectfully. Phljeoh MaCambT. The tender-hearted Samuel Shin moved that the vote of censure on the professioj be reconsidered, but crias of "No! nor were heard from all parts of the hall, sol he was promptly hissed down. "All of fo'ty y'ars ago," solemly observed tbe president as be rapped for order, "1 made up my mind dat de man wid acrfnos bis toe must either grin an' b'ar it or suffer auiputasbunof delegcloseatdebip. Nulfo has since happ;ned to change my belief. De cdn doctau am a man who raises up false hopei in your busum. Ha talks grandlf of delirium tremens, spinal meningitis o lumbago an' odder portions of de hunus anatomy, an he softens up your co'n si shaves tit de top charges, one dollar. Ftf de nex' free days you bless all de world, hot on de t&th or fifth de same cleco'n turnt op fur bixness, rested, recuperated an' read fur six months of hard work. Let de resc lusiun stand. De janitor will now bw out de lights an' we will go home." Tha Minister Seeks Information. Chicago Tribune! 1 h!l.U nvir nn thn west Side V around during the week making ths quaintance of his parishicners. He cu on Deacon Smith, and desiring to -50 what busiuess the deacon was in W1J seeming too curious, he concluded to g " it in another way. . "Now, my little girl," he sail to v year-olJ, "what is your namel" "Sadie Smif, sir." Your papa goes down town Te.BTL tog, I suppose. Can you teJ tue wh5 does down townP tu "No. I tan't; bnt I beard ma tell " ' "J other night if he did it any more she d him bald-headed. Didn t you, P"r