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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (July 25, 1885)
RED-HOT "CIIELLY." A Mexican Dish with a "Tendency to Promote Digestion." How II Led to ICnrounler Bf Iwren Two Old N'rlcbbors The Judge's Derision at the Trial. Arkansaw Traveler 8ome time ago CoL Milbank visited Mex ico, ami, uwm returning, declared that the Mexicans are the only ip!e in the wor.u who know how to cook. "Why," said he to hit wife, "their dish of 'cheoly' Is excellent You take a handful of bird pepjier, mix in a little meal ami stew 'em up. Of course it hot and esjiecially with a stranger, -oms to be comid of three arts fire and one rt torment, but after a man gets used to it, why there' nothing tliat has such a tendency to promote digestion. It undoubt slly Jirnl:;t life, keeps the mind active, and U.-:hLi townrd a general promotion of good feeling. 1 hive brought home a sack of those pepper, and at every moal after tliU, I shall expect my fa vorite dih. Bird jioppcrs entered into the colonel's daily diet. No one thought of sharing the dish with him until several day ago, when old Uncle Sam Blackainore, of Bed Fork township, came to the city and callol at the colonel' house. The old man, while at din ner, noticed tlte hmt dipping Into w hat ap peared to be cooked tomatoes, and, during an animated discussion, into which the sul ject of a literal place of torment in the world to come enU'red strongly, be reached over and held himself to a spoonful of stewed pepper. "Now." said the old fellow, lifting a good sized lilawun the point of his knife, and holding it near hi mouth until he hhould reach a acmicolou, ''I'm a little quar in my beliif and don't besitnto to say that the wicked will 1 roeMcd like a piastim Uedroptied the knife, wiiel but .tongue on hi coauilceve, ami, without speaking, be "hauled oir' with a muce-bottle and knocked the colonel down. The colonel, being resent ful and impetuous, aniKe and diMUurnged old Blackani' ire's familiarity, by hurling hi favorite dish into the visitor's f rank and ojien countenance. A hand to-hand eni-ounter en sued, resulting in the defeat of the colonel and the subsequent arr.'st of the old niaiL The case iu taktu to court and tnel by an eminent justL-e of the peace, a jurist w he idea of justice rarely meets with reversal, except when it chance to full under the se vere gaze of a judge who know the law. When the lawers had closed their argu ments, the old justii-e killed a horse t!y with a per cutter, aiul said: "This court is ready t deliver it opinion. The court kohls that the defendant had a right to visit the land of the M'Uitcziinms and Cortezes, and tluit while there had a per fect right to form a taste for the dishes pre pnil by the inhabitants of that country. Thi court furthermore boliU that the, de fendant hail a icrf.vt right to prepare the dish and eat it under the American (lag: in other wcrds, be hud a right to put it on hi table," "Then I unders'and," said the lawyer for the plaintiff, "that you have decided in our favor!" "Just wait, if you please, until this ciurt ha Concluded the decision. In order to be thoroughly prepared to juilge the caw wisely, this court ordered and tasted a sample of the stuff brought I rom the depraved land of the Montezuma, and thi court i prepared to say that a man who w mldn't knock a fellow down for placing such a hidden mine of ex plosive compounds within hi reach, ought to break out with the nettle rash, und ! de prived of the right of uff rage. This c nu t would ndiso the plaintiff to keep out of the defendant' way, but will nay that if the di" fendniit don't cat him and maul the eternal pizen out of his disitioii. In w ill lay him self liable to a tlue and the odium if b'ing considered a blamed fool by this court.'' American llrlles Abroad. IauiiIoii for. Chicago Tribune. Among the American women w ho have at tained a high position in U'lidcn socially is Mm 1'icrre Irillnrl KonaMs, ik .Mis Fainy Carter. New York s iety people will well recollect Mis Carter a-s one of the most Iwautiful girl of her day. After sev eral tears of pronounced niantul unlinppi iiksk Mr. Ronald eiarutid from Mr. Hon aid, quitting America with her threo little children. I upx there are few live more full of incident and romance than tluit of thi still W'autiful and wonderfully fuscinat lug woman. During the reign of Nark-Icon 111 she wa one of the belle of the French court. The emperor i said to have thought her the moft beautiful American be had ever seen, and frequently went purpiM-ly to we her skate on the i.-e at the fashionable "rink," which she did, according to my informant, "divinely." After the full of the empire Mr. KonaMs went to Algeria and for several ytars n lost to the fashion able world. liuuiiT from tune to time said ,)ie was living on a sheep rain h. She was eveu credited w.t!i the umiiageineiit if a vast estate iHTx'lf. and isr story went so far as to )iut her stq rinteialmg countless arrvs arni-d to the teeth, fcaidess, though the oaly white woman within miles. With.n ti e hist few years Mi KonaMs has rvtinn.sl to U.n lin, anil now holds a jtisii in viety stsMisI to inns-, ller only daughter was married a short tune s:mv, making a brilliant match, aisl. a friend tells re, the wnlding gifts included i-oe from th prim an I nin f Wak-s. tlK duke and ducbe of kdiul'urg, and n-vrrsl other na-m-lri f the royal family, lju-t SuisUy Mrs. Kittald had the thive American Nutis with hr during her reeeptiisi hours Mis Ctanitrrlatn, Mi Wutdoui. and Mrs. Ta. h C.rwnt's Kv.ly i!augbt-r. There wer severs! artLsti prwi.t, ailing them Mi tirisw( li, Mr. Iirvt Harte's tirv. h. uo imf J iletit at Covetit liarden a few weeks .n-e Las so grat.Sed her fnrnds and ad- HkJTS. I'rteadtr Htlr. WaU Mre-t Nex ) . A rtoo man, who left Virginia City a few days ago fi bviae.mlill'si the cotsl-,x-;.T i f the train, when a few miies out, tUt he deajml to send a telegram to the h- tel ns pirding a pa.kagvi( j ajers be had left in his rxsxu. YsJual.: papers, of course," q-jer.l tla conductor. "Why, therr are JoiO worth of tk m tbe Heury Clay silver mirs-, :5i ri t IVs-rt Kmigratiiig company, t'.o.ri m a lundiago hole, an 1 about the same in nf bislel for Usirists." -Y 'ni! Sayr" "Wel!r "lt w ill st you i ceiil. U t-l. g--a; h 1 a k. TVio't teUvraph. Yshi .ll I - ce.m. ah -aj if you d 'n'L" The lt mit cmcludisl t :! isntd lie oome. and then invest in a '.'vent ag staouiv, Livisville Couiier-J.sinval. Von ?! ''ie Las cold. alrlsl. myst,i-..m inan-vr He Is doubthns trying U think up iin mh.-ris for rotisruii I'iuk liisnian-ks depaiul bair. MECHANICS WITH SCIENCE Destined to I' fieri the t liter llevolu llou In This Country. (Jath" i" Cincinnati Enquirer. A great troub o with the southern tnte to dav, as mercantile custoiiier. U their indif ferviu-e, except in certain district, to th tust and aspirations passing over the rest of the country. The manufacturing and artistic spirit is kept alive by tiio ex travagance, so to speak, of the jieople. That is to say, if a man buys a carj't instead ol whisky, and stands his money in ornament ing bis house instead of betting it away on I race or a cotu n option, he becomes a bettel customer in proportion as be is a bettei citizen. Nothing will civilize m like the manufact ures. Wherever they have gone anothel sjiirit has come over the sixdety. We are tot early for art to affect us much, and I olwrvt in those counties where mere art has flour ished that the great body of the people art till Ignorant. Mechanic with science are destined to eirect the chief revolution in thii country. Out of science and manufacture have already come the phospluitus and otbet organic immures which have brought up psr soil and luaile it poible to cultivate C'tton to tho buse of the Allegheny mountains. When slavery .sed from the surface of the ground the fossils of fish ami other being under the snrftt'-e reaclKsl out their bones as if to say, "Here is your slave who will work for you and you cannot abuse him." Much of the want of civilization in the old mount ain portions of America arises from the en tiro aliseiice of uioney as a circulntn; me dium. There are futilities in the mountain) of West Virginia, and I suppose of KentU'ky ami Teiinci who, before the war, hardly saw a real dollar from the lieginning of th year to the end. Their business was exclu sive lrt r, selling whut they had to the mer chant at his prii-e, and taking in return what he had to offer also at bis pi ns?. The mer- cl ant seeniisl to have an int. r t in bringing up the ipiiility of the psile. Itenutiful tilings, refining things were not among his ware. The people got coffee and tobacco ami sugar, and hardly a siiclling-hook. It is true that they were happy, but so is the fox. In the oliler times religion rvnehed into tin s hills and Implanted that spirit callisl piety, w hich is next to worldly ambition. The war svemed to twrulvzc the preachers in the south, and flung them bit'-k Un the crude i icoi de there, not turning their faces toward the light of tho cross any more, but toward the darkness of the (iolgotha. Ie- vourvd in the ilitics of slavery, religion has ever siii' e Uvn to a large exb'iit a kind of pnive fom, like tliut of the Jews who as semble in the wailing place in Jerusalem to howl als-mt the iiast. The new preacher has come with the lire on his bn.ws and tire in his eye. It is the much dei idisl, the throli bing, the screaming, tho evangelist locomo tive. Walking on the Water. New York Letter. A tall, gildooking, brown nmstnehed young man, with a jaunty step and a compla cent smile, walked quietly over the pathway leading from tho Manhattan hotel to the bathing invilimi. Coney island, the other af ternoon. He entered, paid for a ticket and shortly ufterwanl reapienred on the beach, clad in a suit of resplendent tighta and carry ing in his hands a wir of objects shacd like snowshis-s, but considerably thicker, iltting these to his feet he wadisl into the water. He sank no further thun half way to his knees. A crowd of niirsemaiiU, children, policemen and idlers gaztsl at him from the pier, and tbe bather, all suspendisl oicrut:,nis to watch his movements. He walked out into deep water, Imlaiii iug himself and shooting for ward a-s though skating. The water was calm and he turned and wlieelil alsmt on its surface. The nursemaids said, "Oh, my," the children cheensl, a-id t'le idlers looked awed und the poliivmcii smiled in calm su is'rioiity. Hie voting man iimirl himself for a quarter of nil Irmr. Then he revisited the lmtliing luiviliou, and came out clotlusl and carrying the aquatic slns under his arm. A crowd pressed muml him and made inquiries, and a young man lagged a trial of the shoe lb got them and, prs iii ing a bathing suit, started out to c Xcrimciit for himself When lie got to deep water he lost disbalance. There w as a wild yell, mid the next moment the sins were kicking wildly on the surfaisj of the water. What was going on Is'iieath was left to the imagination of the U'holdcrs. A lt pulled in and resciii! th shoes, and a very much bedraggled an 1 discomfited dude craw-led into t'ae Unit after them. When he got his breath h. said he didn't know they w ere loadisl. The crowd laughed and cheered him when he restored the treacherous artiides to their owner. The inventor of the shoos is a natatoriul artist by profession, and he pro mises giving exhibitions at all the seaside re torts. The IHtllllrr and III llelr. (New York Cor. Cin. iniiuti Enquirer How little did I imagine w hen I knew Ec-cli-s I ill lender as an opulent d-stiller tha: his money -making efforts were simply to e irich a titled fortune-hunter. How little, in l-ed, did be imagine such a result! In ;:i.s days i;i'.cn,lcr & Co. witsa young and thr.fty cotuarn. ami sisiii afterwanls tl.ev liega'i to dml in tol-aixM, which, le.ng more 1 1-'tit-able, gradually dunned their e:itire attention. Whisky and tolaeco, the two most worthitss of pnslu.ts, made KavIck tiilletider uiimensely rich, and he lsjucathevl the largest part of bis estate to bis widow. The latter went abroad, ac comjaiiiisl by her daughter, who, being a pro ss live heiress, Uvniue ias is usually the i-asei the wife of a noblemaiL The wedded jair eventually sT'parattsl, but the hu-lmn-l ot tamed alni't cumpiete (Mutrol of his wife's mother, and inducts 1 her to m ike him h-T heir. This is one i f the most surprising in stain's of undue influence, and the wife is aU-ut to contest the wiU. Should the latter Is sus tained the wealth which Ecclcs (iiliu dcr laved to bard to accumulate w ill pn.ss uito the .M)on of the nianjuis of San Marnrsv This U-ing the first ess of the kusl, it excites dis p ir.ttrvst in society cir ca aisd also ui tbe leal profession. A Sharp Darkey, Texas Sifting. Sam Johniiig bavuig attended a night school f'ira few week, believes that be is the smartest nigger in Austin. He was a witness in a burglary ca.- au 1 cnaUsl a ensati by Lis inlellince. "lv you think you w.h;11 reogiiiz the burglar if you were to see him again.'" "Why, Us ob course I would. Yssu are sure you w.mld UeuUfy the thi'f if yoo were to w him agaui .'" I U-ll yi so ag'm. ' nt one oli dese fool nizgvr what doesn't know nufin". 1 could identify dat man el. n if I nebtwr seed him ag in. I du't hab ter ss him ag'in to MeuUfT him.' Tbe Sapplf Ksjaal to the Demand. (Ifurd-.'tte "What," asks a very Under writer, "what ran take tbe plac. of lbn.r "Sh! Bend y.sir ear a little lower and well tell you. Cther tbes. You didn't su ;( this year's crop Ustasl forever, did you! Insvtnesa, man. it will b clear o-t of yW !n ei;L!c-T mouth. IN THE BACKWOODS. "Eetsy Hamilton's" Visit at ''Old Miss Raincrow'a" Cabin. How She Named the Girls, While the Old man Named the Boys Training the Children. Atlanta Constitution It was mighty nigh day, vud the old 'oraan made up a fire ip the fireplace to get break fast, and we'um all riz. She fillei the hat b plum full of sweet taters, baked some corn dodgers in the skillet, briled some meat on the coals and made some coffee out 'n rcb meaL The little white headed, dirty faced chaiai fretted and cried all the time, and tbe old 'oinan scolded. Aunt Nancy and maw sot and smoked ther pipi-s. Aunt Nancy she lowed to old Miss Itaincrow: "Hit's monstrous hard on a body to take keer of so many cbillun and keep 'em in vit tles and clothes." "Not so mighty," says she. "I baint got nairy one to spar; I'd work tbe eends of my fingers oil for airy one of 'em, bad as they is kis-pout'n the fire, Sal; you'd git right in it if I didn't jerk you out Set down thar, May Liza, you aint made out'n glass. No body cant see thu' you. Put down that dog, Jefferson Davis, and fetch the baby here to tne. Set down thar, William Henry Forney, and shet your mouth. Your tongue is allcrs a gwine. Didn't I tell you to fetch me the Iwby, Jeff? I'll floor vou witU this here light ood knot fust thing you know, ami stomp you into tbe bargain; fetch it here to me this minute. Bless hits little heart of it, murther wouldn't take a dollar for hit Hit's worth the whole gang put together. Dar-den, honey, don't cry; murthi '11 give it a sweet tit-r quick as it's cooked don't cry. Toll the Indies your name; it's most tm big a name for hit's little tongue to wrop around. Th.' old man named him after John T. Mor gan, kiLse be was in bis reegimeiit in the war. Dnrslen, honey, don't cry," and she sot him on the floor and shoved the yaller pup at him to plav with, but John T. Morgan wouldn't bush. ' "He name 1 all the biys and I na:ned the gals. The boys i all nam.' 1 ntt-T big, smart men that I don't know n othin' alsiut and never have saw. 'Alalsimy-Teti h-me-Not' thar is named for her two gran-maws Alabamy for my maw, and Missoury for bisn'n; but atter I fell out longer old Zeory, (that's bis mummy) I called her 'Aluliamy Tetcli me-Not,' kase she is so tetchy. She'll cry if you ji.t look hard at h-r. May Liza is name Mary for her Aunt Tolly, and Liza for her Aunt Jane. May 1 jza is a twin to Sal. Sal Ls ji-t iia:ne 1 Sal for short S!n goes by the nam" of l!i Sis mostly, and her cousins all calls her Cousin Sis. Come here Sul and leinine fa.-U-n your coat. She's out growed everything she's got. li'mit ya'ider, W'illiuin Henry Forney, and tell Jube Curry to fetch bis-set here to me. 'alio be is a twin to Hubert E. Lee. They are next to Jefferson Davis shet up your moutU, Charlie M. Shelley; nobody can't hear they folves talk for your eveiiastin' whinin'. I can't give you the tatcr tel it's cooked. Here take this here piece of bread, and hush. Shelley ho is just a year older'n John T. Mor gnn, and John T. lias mighty nigh cob h up to him in size shet up your mauth, William Henry Forney. How many more times do you want me to tell you nlmut your tonguel Cio out thar this minute and tell .Talie Curry ef he don't fetch his set here to me and nusa John T. Morgan and stop him from yelliu', I'll make his pa) beat him into a frazzle. But William Henry Forney instead of tcll iri' him to ccme to his mammy, went out tnur and sot up a fuss longer Jabe ubout a sweet tatcr. Mur-ther, niur-tber. make Jalie gimme my tnter. It's mv ta-ter; 1 had it fuss. Hit's not none of his'n no sich a thin;. Mur ther. Mur-ther. make William Henry gi n ine my string. He took and took my string kase I snatched my sweetater wa'fn- im, and it's none of his'n. It's my tutor it s mv verv tater. Then she let in on Jabe with the hick'ry she'd Us'ii a promisin' bim, and 'loweel: "I'll gin you tiglitm' about a sweet tater a sweet later! Now ain't a titer a big thing to right nls'Ut! (iive the tater to your little buddy, and that quick, 'fore I l-at you tel you won't know w ho vou was named after. Take your- scf in that house and miss your buddy, John T. Morgan, 'fore I stomp the life out'n volt 1 lay 1 most kills some of you young uns ats'iit them taters yit. Tlicm s tbe fust iwivt taters that's been dug out'n the utch, and they are in or a most raven distracted over 'em I know in rea-on they are horn gry for taters, but they jist shan't tight over em. I'll gin em something else to do sldei tightin' over a sweet tater. W u'uiis all come in and eat a bite of breakfast. We hain't got much, but sich as it is you're welcome to it. V ill you be nope to a cup of buttermilk, Squire Hamilton!" says she to pap. and he lowed be would. Tben she turned to Jeff: "ti'up otTu that churn, Jef ferson Davis and lour tlie stranger out a cup of buttermilk and for Massy 's sake go out yander and make Bulger quit a twrkui' so. S't down thar, May Liza, and quit a gaziu' pine blank like you never have saw uoUkly afore in your life" go out'n here 'fore I knock y ou d ma. Have a bit of the fry; It's all clean; eat ef you can. strangers. Didn't tell I you to go out'n here. May Liza; you clnllun's enough to run a body dis-1 trsctisl. Fan the flies, Sal; stinlin thar with your mouth bangiu' wide open like you didn't have nairy grain of sense. Skiu one of them Inters, Miss Hamilton; them's the Spanish; they are sweeter'n tot hers. Y'ou'uns will have to drink your coffee th'out sugar. Thar's s-nne i -rghum lasses; we'uns hsint got no short swev'nin". Sugar is a ar-tickle I baint never made no use of y it. H -re, Will iam Henry Forney, take this here sweet tater and skiu it, and give piece of it to Charlie Shelley, and totber part to little bu Idy, John T. Morgan; anl if vou cram it in bis mouth hot and burn him I lay I stomp you into the face of the yeth." ot J list Before Bedtime, Chicago Tribune. Biggins was feeling pivrly "all run down and no strength," he told bis friend Smith. "Ioe ye ever take any stinnlent Mr. Biggins!" asked Smith. . "No," answered Biggins, mournfully, "except sometime just before gi -in' to bed." "Well, f.f my part," said Smith, decidedly, "I doc't n. ver wivnt to take th'thin' jest afore goin' to bel, for I goes right to sleep an' loses all the good on it' Ship Canal Across Ireland. Chicago Tribune. Plans have been prepared for a ship canal ,-n ks Ireland from Dublin to Galway a dis tance of l.'T miles. The estimated cost for ships of various sixes is as follows: For ships oM.iV bins, MO.wOAO; for ships of 2.5oXi tons S'V.nO.nsl; for h: of 5.0U) tons and upward. UV,i0,aJ. The plans have beet jrvpared by a London ecjineer aistea J; Capt LVU. Wla V Ir woman takes a n ioo With a trick to hit a cat, A t urning boa-, a raging ocean W.-r a far safer sjs. tun that iFree l"res SKETCHES Cr SITTING BULL. Ills Wives and blldren-IIle Ways of Lire. St Inii (ilolie-Democrat. Sitting Bull d'Mi't know where be was born, or when. He is about 47 years old, and, being a Teeton, was probably born in central or southern Dakota, rour Bears, bis uncle, says tbe place was near old Fort ueorge, on v Ulow creek, near the nioutn or the Cheyenne, on the west side of the Mis souri river. HU father was a nch chief, Jumping BulL At 10 years of age the Indian lad was famous as a hunter, his favorite game being buffalo calvea. His father had hundreds of pretty white, gray and roan ponies, and the boy never wanted for a horse. He killed more young buffaloea than any of his mates, and won popularity by laying his game at the lodges of poorer Indians, who were unlucky in the chase. At 14 be killed an enemy; bis name before naa been Sacred (for wonderful) Ktamtshot When he bad killed his man and could boast a scalp, bis name was changed to Sitting Bull, though w hy the old man doesn't know. He has two wives, Was-Seen-by-the Nation and the One-tbat-Had-Four-Rol. A third wife is dead. His children are all bright, hamlsome boys and girls, nine in numls-r; one, a young man about 1 is in a Catholic school near Chicago. Sii.it) ; Bull himself is not a Catholic, as reported, nor is it likely that a man of his strength of mind will ever renounce the mysteries of his own savage re ligion, in w hii h for so many years he has Us-n a powerful high priiwt. One little boy, 6 years old, bright as a dollar and with eyes that fuirly snap like wlii, was with bun at Buford when he surrendered. At the formal pow-wow the chief put bis heavy rifle in the little fellow's hamLs and ordered him to give it to JInj. Brotherton. saying: "I surrender this ritte to you through my young son. whom I now desire to teach in this way that he h:is become a friend of the whites. I w Lsh him to live as the whit-s do and lie taught in their schools. I wish to le remeiiilien'd as the last man of my trilie who gave up bis rifle. This Isiy has now given it to you, and nc wants to know how he is going to make a living." Happily, Sitting Bull's anxiety for his chil dren is Is ing grandly met in the work of the CurlLsle and Hampton schools and the grad ually enlarging schools and academies planted by the missionaries throughout Dakota and the west Sitting Bull is a typical Indian. He is wide between the cheek bones, which are more than ordinarily prominent. Ills chin is sharp and long, and his mouth and durk eyes be token great firmness of character. His drt-s is like that of any other half-civilized red man. He affects little silly ornaments that make bis grim dignity very laughable. His voice is a deep, gruff bass. He shuttles along as lie walks, stepping on tbe outer edge of the left foot, which was badly wounded years ago. The old man will live a good many years if smoking does not Use him up. He got his tirst glimpse of civilization last winter, coining to St. Paul with Agent McLaughlin. The things that struck him most forcibly in his travels was the lallet which he saw at one of the theatres. This is not remarkable, as Indian women are never known to display their bodily charms as do the females of a superior ra'-e. This indecency, however. Sit ting Bull looks upon as one of the supreme evidences of our greater civilization. Maj. McLaughlin says he would talk of nothing else ou the way home. His great ambition in life now Is to get a w hite w ife. He says he would give two ponies for a ballet girl. A Storr About Hawthorne. Julian Hawthorne in The Century. Before I leave the subject of the "Scarlet Ix'ttcr" I will say a word about a sickly little story that has lately been going the round of the 'rs tin the authority of Mr. Mou cure D. Conway. It reads as follows. On:' wintry day Hawthorne re eived wonl at his otlice that ins services wouui no jomt lie required. With heaviness of heart he P-- viirs to his humble home. His young wife recognizi the change, ami sianns wuiiiug ur the silence to lie broken. At length he falters. I um removed from oftW. Then he lea vis the room. Sum she ret inns witn luei nn i kindles a bright tire with her own hands: iet she brings tu n. lsiper, ink, and sets them Is-sidc him. Then she touches the sad man on the shoulder, and, s he turns to the beam ing face, savs. "Now you can write your tsHikl' The cloud cleared awny. me lost oftii-e loiked like a cage from which he bad e.s.a)i.sl. The "Scarlet Letter' was written, and a marvelous success rewarded the au thor and bis stout-hearted w ife." I think it is Wonlsworth who somewhere says. "I heard a little lamb say, Ba-nl" But Hawthorne was not a little lamb, and never said Ba-a! This is what happened: Haw thorne came in. w ith a humorous smile in bis eyes, and siid: "Well, Sophie, my head is oil, and I must licgin to w rite a bisik. But what puzzles me is. bow are we to live while the liook is writing:" "Oh, wait till you see how iss.nomical I've lnvn!" replied his wife. W herein n she unK ked a drawer, and pre- scntdl to her astonished husband a roll of bills amounting to $l.si. King the accumula tion of her savings out of the money he had from time to time given her for housekeeping. I have heard my moibertell the story a score of tunes. How they With would have laughed to read. "At length be falters, "I am removed from office. Then be leaves the r.iun.'' Pisir, short-sighted, sentimental, timid, faltering Hawthorne:. Suggestion Tor 'Treating." Washington Critic Interview. Why is it that ii is only a drink or a cigar that your friends ak you to have.' You never bear "a man say to another when he g-s into a hardware store. "Have a pound of naiLsT or in a clothing store, "Have a avat."" or in a laker)". "Have a loaf of bread r It is al ways an offer of something you are letter off w ithout. 1 tell you it is the lane of the times, ami leads more young men to destruction than all other things comhinoL The Killing Pavslon. Carl Pretzel's W--kly. "Another coupou has W-en clippd off.". said a gentleman to a friers! "I do not comprehend," replied his friend. "Be more explicit" I l.ist my youngest child, by death last pight" -Ah." said his frien-l, "I now understand Viiu. A coupon has tieen clipped that was at tached to your W'nd of matrimony." Philosophy of Via nee. iNorth American The man who economizes saves, and he who saves most can invest m wt. and he who invests m't reaps most in the way of net prof.w. This is tbe law in a country where ollr..lsare free to tbe citizen. All r e.t are free to the citizen in this country. Thrift is tht the atolute creature of staTuVs, th ough statute may a"Iuri the m -as of thrift Christian l'ni-n: Any nin who wants to pet pi-ion of wealth which he has n. 4 pnluce by bones' industry lMi'V.rr of hand r brain, "f a.t:.n or though: wa!i"i.to rob his neighW r. K"bis a th rt word, tut it is a plain w. ird; aal it expr-- etJ-.iy what we mean. " MAKIXfl TIN' PLATES. The Iron Several Times Doubled, Re heated and Boiled. The "Black Plate" Put In the "Pickle" of Acid How lha Tin Coating Is Ap plied. Seientiae American The following is the process at the Dyffryn Tin Plate works, Morriston, near Swansea, Wales: In tbe first place we have what is termed bar iron, several feet long, about seven inchet wide, and from one-half to five-eighths of an inch in thickness, rolled according to the plates required at go many pounds per foot It is cut in what may be termed a jack-in-the-Un or steam shear, say about nineteen pounds, to a piece which will eventually be rolled into sixteen sheets of twenty inches long bv fourteen inches wide, 112 of such sheets forming a box, and weighing when tinned nearly 100 poumls. This piece of iron is first placed In a re verberatory funia'-e, heated to redness, put through the chilled rolls, and rolled in what is termed thiets five times; reheate 1, and rolled in singles twice; double 1, reheated, and rolled three times, doubled, reheated, and rolled twice; doubled, reheated, and n died in eighths t wice, until they are stretched out to the required length and thickness. Tbe length of the bar exceeds by about one ir.cb the width of the sheet to be mad ', so as to allow for the shearing process, and the bar is therefore rolled with it axis parallel to that of the rolls. Great attentio. Ls nec essary in the construction and management of the mill furnaces, so that the heating of the bar and sheet for rolling may be affected w-ith the utmost regularity, and without the formation of scale on ths sur face of the bars or sheets; for when scaling takes place from tho draught in the fui nace being too keen or the beat raised too high, the quality of the iron is injured; the scale, if subsequently rolled into the iron, leaves a rough surfac on the plates in the after process of sewrating and pickling. The plates are th-n sheared, and the rough edges taken off. The iron of nineteen jiounils or thereabouts makes sixteen sheets, which, being cut in halves, leaves eight sheet in a piece closely wedged. Girls with small iron hatchets open or serrate them. They ore termed black plate. From one ton of Wir iron atiout 1,075 jsjunds of black plate is made; the loss is termed shearings, and is worked up again in the forge fineries. The plates are next sent to lie pickled, L e., im mersed in h'-ate l dilute sulphuric acid, known as oil of vitriol. The plat's are placed in a cradle or recep tacle, lifted by a hydraulic, then droped into a round wooden or lead tank containing the acid: the cradle is then made to revolve by means of steam power, to enable the liquid to rush between th- sheet, which rev olution is retained. They are lifted again by the hydraulic, ilropied into a tub, a little apart from the last, containing water only, the cradle revolving ns in hist tub, so that the water mav rush W'tween the sheets to cleanse or wash away all tin of the acid; when taken up again the plates are clean and bright as silver. The plats are next subjected to a bright red heat, which lasts from twelve to twenty four hours, in closed iron annealing pots in a reverberatory furnace; they are well covered on the top to prevent the plates from being burnt, the heat Ls kept as high as it can W' without softening them to such a degree as to cause them to stick so fast Uigether as to prevent their separation when cold. They next ass singly through cold rolls, three, four, or m ire times, as may W- deemed requisite. These roll are highly sili.hisl. und must W' set in accurate order to give the plates a ivrfe-tlv Hat set an 1 well polished surface. A:iiiu they are annealed or toftem-d at a lower tenijvruture than the first as their urfaces woul 1 W-di'.maged by being in any degree stuck together. Pickled again, as lie- fore, exis-pting that the liquid is considerably weaker than previously, plai-ed in cast-iron troughs containing clean water renewed by a stream constantly flowing through they ars then taken in band singly, and scoured if nec essary with sand and heinjieii pads before be ing delivered to the tin-man. Now comes the la--t process. The sheets are iron only so far. They next reach the Un house, and are placed in a trough containing clean water, reudv for the tinman, as he is termed, who tbeu picks them up and puts them singly in a grea in containing palm il. to soak, and aft r W in; there for a short time, the tinman places the sheets in a large iron pot containing molten tin, with a cover ing of palm oil. Hen? it unites with the tin, to which it l as a strong acuity; when he has performed his part the plates are handed over to the next man. called a w ashman, w b isc jmt contains pure molten tin: after they have sked in his pt a little, he ruses them with i tongs i n to the hob as he re mires them, bmshes the surfaces of both side; i f each sheet, and after dipping them into another P't containing molten tin again, they are sent tlir -ugh roils which wi rk in a large j- t containing jiilm oil. and the sjee I at which the rolls move regulates the quantity of tin to W put on each sheet. They are afterward raised from the rolls iiinder which tiiey Lave Wvn pa.-smgi by a youth callisl a ri-er. banded to two young women w ho nib them in bins ci W xcs con taining bran, one aft-r the other, which tikes off the grease; another girl, called a du-ter, gives tliein a further polish with a skiu duster, and takes ti.eui to the assorting room, where every plate pa-es inspection, and if not up to tiie mark is sent back for rectification. After jia-.ing through that ordeal, they are counted and -dghed and made up in'o Uixes. A Kiss. Bloomington MaiL A kiss Ls a paiviysnial contact between the labial appendages attached to the su perior and inferior maxillaries respectively of a man and woman or two women. The younger the parties are the more paroxys mal w ill be the paroxysm, and in case it be observed by the fond father of the paroxyzed young lady, there is aLso likely to be perigee between the paroxyzcr's pedalic junction and the phalangeal extremities of the meta tarsus, tarsus and other bric-a-brac depend ing from th? lower end of the old gentle man's right leg. The kiss itself is not the paroxyxm. It merely the vibrations of tbe superincumbent atmosphere resultant from the expulsion of sweetnoss from each of the pairs of lips engaged in creating it A Carious Procession. Chicago Herald. A curious historical procession will be organized this month in Belgium during the celebration commemorating tbe fiftieth anni ver ary of the introduction of railways into the country. The procession will present all known means of transport, from the ancient F-fman chariot to the modern electric rail way, and -vill include the locomotive and cv has of the first train which ran in Bel gium in W4. manned by those officials and workmen engaged on the line who still svr- TlYd, HOW WE MAY KEEP COOL. Some Seasonable Hints for the Benefit of Heated Humanity. Philadelphia Times. The temperature of our bodies, which nor mally is about 'Jl4 degrees, is modified mark edly by our clothing, our food and drink, our habits, whether active or otherwise, and by the temperature of tbe place in which we may happen to be. Tbe point just named is one of tbe most important, yet little need be said of it for the reason that now this is prac tically beyond our controL Excess of moisture in the air is said to and doubtless does make a high temperature more distressing, because it causes tbe water that exudee from our Wxlies in the form of sweat to remain upon the surface of the body, a circumstance that greatly retards tbe elimination of heat Gen tle currents of cool air are agreeable and re freshing, because tbey. hasten the evapora tion from the surface. The influence of muscular activity on the body temperature is well known, and though we can not all control our movements at all times, yet by experience all will find that "go slow'' is a very good rule to go by in hot weather that is, when the temperature of tbe air gets up among the nineties, previous to w hich none should complain. The food and drink most suitable for sum mer use can be quickly named. Use a mini mum amount of fat and heated food, but take care to use the most nutritious and di gestible sulistances that can l commanded. Heated foods are best used at breakfast time. Perfectly mature fruits used raw or fruit not quite ripe cooked. Cold boiled ham, tingue or beef, good bread and butter and good cold milk make suitable summer lunch. The milk may at times be substituted by cold lemon ade. The two should, however, in no case be used together. The clothing best adapted to hot weather wear is loose garments of woolen fabrics, notablv flanneL This for tbe reason that the material just named aids the evapor ation from surface of the body before re ferred to. Wiping the fa, hands and arms with a cloth wet with cold water, followed by drying these surfaces gently, is at times very giatefui The Fire Tar. New Y'ork Times. A corresjxmdeiit of The American Archi tect makes w hat at first sight seems the in credible aertioii that '"the fire tax Ls now the benvii-st tax imposed on this nation." If, however, he Ls accurate in adding that '"luns by tire is j lou.unu.tuu a yeur, or 1 percent on a very large estimate of our annual product, which cannot exi ve.1 f li),(Xitl,UlM,oon in value," he has made good the assertion, startling as it is. Many people have long been of the opinion that the business of fire insurance as it is con ducted in this country, does more harm than ginl to the community. It Ls, we think, un questionable that the standard of building in cities would be higher if owners were com pelled to shoulder their own risks instead of shifting them. The mill-owners of Massachu setts have done tins, with then-suit of ex pending a part only of the money they used to spend in premiums in perfecting a corner utively cheap system of construction which is thoroughly souud and approximately fire proof. Tho business of fire insurance is very much what the business of life insurance would be if men were no more attach'sl to their lives than they are to their buildings. In that case a policy of life insurance would be a warrant for the holder to go into the most unwhole some and dangerous course of life without scruple, just as a policy of fire insurance too often Ls a warrant for reckless building and the luck of precautions against dL-sis-er. Of course this could be prevented by confining policies to selected buildings, as they are con fined to healthy lives; but this safeguard is disregarded even by companies wriicto would prefer to employ it, in the unscrupulous com po'.ion of their rivals. Growth or the .tlllllnz Industry. The Minneapolis Northwestern Miller, of a la'.e date, presented nn interesting exhibit of the growth of the milling industry in the I'mted States from 1'ni to l's'sO, aier census report. The record of the census in n.u as compared with l-o0 showed that the nunilier nf milLs, the value of grain used nnnually and the capital invested had nearly doubled, the number of employes had more than doubled, and the value of the annual product bud nearly doubled. The growth of this industry for the next ten veal's, from 1ST0 to 1V0, was enormous, but the percentage of increase was lowered. During this decade the nuinW'." of establish ments in' reused a little less than 2.000, there W ing -M.'ir.J in 1"C0 und "-M.'KS in 1 "-. The capacity of the-new milLs, however, averaged large, so that the increase in lapital invested in plants was over i.n0i).isii). The number of hands employed wu-s increased hw than 1,1k hi showing the great difference in this re sjret between roller and stone mills, as well as the rapid improvement in methods of handling the grain and its products. The wages paid in l'i showed an increase of al.out Jo.OJi.miO over WO, or alout l-r cent. The value of grain u-o.i had in creased to the extent of aWuit f.Vi.i'M.OOO, and the annual product showed an increased value of $i'i0.imi,imi. The Fool's Paradise. Bill Nye. Follett What is the meaning of th terra "Fool's Paradise;" The fool's paradis-? is a place when? the f.s l-kill -r buries his dead. As fools cannot lie considered as resiiLsil de for their acts ili..v enm-.ot 1rf iiiinished in liunmtorv. and yet" they cannot W- admitted into Heaven They are then-fore consigned to a place nneu .... ",w..in'i- f..r ti,..in uti-sj t!iercan ask each other, "L this cold enough for your and all such little intellectual sjorkle as that, There Ls where the? people go who breath ... . . .1.. thrt in tne lamls oi tne snot-gun or us- kitchen fire with kerosene. People who enter this paradise e-ter -itl. i.to.f rwr.i.litr- unit cvllt ns"v IT frSf" menu The outer court Ls used ri--y i the purpose of assorting and c Assort remains. This Ls also the home of tbe man wis dur. ing life, casually sat down on a bsia saw W think of a hard word. Where tbe Current ."linle. The Hour Nothing it more democratic than the v r-A Innnan i-ailtrav train, for it rCI-rCSenS every class and is no respecter of pers ns. ......... .... .... '- ' . .TV. U..!..!.-! -t - , millionaire and the lowest meni'.erol inej etariat may possibly occupy contiguous srsa Feople who never byony circumstances ar found together in the same room jtle each other in the cars and show what 1W partitions divide the various classes in tfi democratic country. It that water wtien constantly in motion, and wh.se IrUC come frequentlv in diverse contact, is aiW the freshest and sweetest, why may we i carrv out an analogy from it and say that tw social current also 'which experience sti conditions is. in a similar way. made tbe t ter for it It should at least 1 a preservaU against decadence and stagnation. New York Star: It is time for the la declare whether the emotional in-san'-and voluntarilv produced, is to be a barm to the calm and justice-decreed sanity oi hangman. O