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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (May 10, 1884)
EUGENE CITY GUARD. I. U CAMPBELL, . rraarletor. EUGENE CITY. OREGON. TH33E THREE A0L1 raaimollon Canard in Hamn of Draw Poker by Doable- Peeked Veer Table. fNew York 8un.1 It u a wretched night. The steadily full ing rain wiut chantrlng into sleet CoMer and and culdur the raw wind wu growing. Only four members of too lodge I'oul De Kpottn, It V. Bullchambers, Julin Dougall and Mr. Hicoanli entered the inooting-room over Col. He-hilling's wot good store. Kigbt o'clock came and paused. Clearly there would be no sossion that evening. Some one, reluctant to go out in the storm, proKwod to kill the time with draw poker. The table npon wh'ch they playej wan one of the German double-decker stvle, tlie lower duck intended to supiiort glasses. Early in the game the happy thought occurred to Bell- chambers of utilizing that lower deck for a different purpose. Gradually he accumulated three aces there, but not without lie 8,jotte' eagle eye noting the process. Bellchambers got a pair of king and throe worthless cards. He took three card on the draw, but neatly stowed them away on the lower deck and replaced them in his hand with his accumulated "turn thing." De Bpotte received a pair of queens in the deal and in the draw took three cards. Bcll cbambers, before the draw, had made it "cost a little more to come In," and when betting began he was almost ferocious in bis demonstrations of confidence In bis hand. The previously sufllciuiit half-dollar limit disgusted him by its inadequacy. Dougall and Hiccardl said that as far as tboy were concerned be might make it anything he liked, as tboy promised taking a rest De B potto did not want to rest just then, but bad no objoctlon to dropping the limit Bell chambers was happy. At length all the chips were up in the middle of the table, and Do Hpotto, resisting sternly Bollchamber's tearful appeals to be allowed to bet bis store and a coming Invoice of goods, and other valuables, in a succession of raises, called. From the time of the draw, Bellchamhers had not nnra lnnbnt f. him t....,i wu.. should be when he knew so well what was in itl On the call be turned them over. The ...... " .1 1 W UUIH1. II UI expression on bis countenance was frightful to look at. lie had only a pair of kings and even, nine and Urn! De Bpotte placidly turned bis haud three aces and a pair of queensl " WUere did you get those temf Bulleham- ben snouted, aghast and purple. "Under the table, where you put them," lie Wxtta answered, with an exasjierating III I IB. Dougall and Riceardi 7ellud with unhal lowed glee, while Hnllchambers. rlsina in In dignation, proclaimed, "1 won't play where iwcn uniuir advantage are takmi," ami went forth into the storm that was calm compare 1 wuu tue raginif in his airtiiihM breast. Honesty the Heat Policy. I Detroit Free Press. I wouldn't think of asking for help if I hadn't lost my arm in the war," he added, as be leaned against the wall and gazed into vacancy as if calling up an old buttle scene. "I see," mused tho pedestrian. "Was It an accident In a saw-mill or on some railroadl 1 always come down with a quarter for such arc Menu." The other seemed to struggle with bis feel ings lor a. moment before replying! n en. it was in a saw mill, if you must know, but I have been followed by hard mca. i 'om my all ly lire in Buffalo." "At what dale, and on what tnW" The chap scintclied hi ear and rubbed the chilblain un his heel, but couldn't sav. "I am uot In a hurry," quietly observed the pedestrian. "Take your time to think and give me all possible iartlculars." "Nee here," said the oue-armed, Mou't you oeneve my wire robbe.1 me ami ran away I" -ao, sir no, sir I What could you have bad of any value I And, iudeed, how did you wwb uy a wuei "i asked yuu for a little assistance." "Certainly. Now plJLs state growl's." "I want to get to Chicago." your "Nonsense You iuteud to stay right here I inat s no excuse." "tt ell, I'm hungry. I haven't tasted food for two days." "Ikuhl IMins feel of your pulse. The muse imuctttes tlio oonJillou of the stomach. uoiu out your Imiul. "Bay 1" said tho vijr, lu a desierata way, -may no you uou t uuieve I m aoal broker' "1)11, yes, lilo." "And that I ui most dtad for a drink of wnikyr "Ahl Here's 10 cents! go and buy your iuu. inim you want anyiiimg too the mars aim sk tne triitn. You'll Und a aaloou arouuu tue corner." A IHnappolnted Patient, Philadelphia Call.) He had sworn otf drinking the flint of the year, and not feeling very well, applied to a puysiciau or ailvice. "our system," said the doet ir, "needs quinine. 1 would advise yun to take say two ounce snout lour tunc a day. "1 he very thing, I do believe!" exclaimed the iMttieul. "1 wonder quinine did not omir to me. And how much whisky did you say 1 suouiti who wuu each dosel" "1 tlhln t say you should take tw whisky wnn eaen uoe. lake tne quinluu Iu the form of pills." Why Ile Nwore Off. (Chicago Times Tlppleton bas sworu off. It came alsmt iu this way: Visiting the sample-room, as usual, for his poison with free-lunch accompaui ment, herucognited the same sausage that he infused to eat at linvikfa.it at home that very morning. His wife had given it to a lsggar, and the ts-ggar bad rtej with It in the couine of trade. Tinplctou diswu't know bo many times bis free lunch has becu uiado up livm tue relitse oi his own table. Voleanle lut la the Nuow, (Chicago Herald. It is repori.eU that snow obtaiued In Scot land, Holland and northern Oermanv has been subjet-twl to careful microscopical ex amination, and there has resulted Uie detec tion of minute particles of volcanic dust. Blmilar resulu iu various sections of this country would prove almost toyoud ques tion the accuracy of the Java theory of the afterglows, which have been noticed in the skies for mouths past. Year Aaeeatora. Muldletown Transcript Don't brag about the achievement of your ancestor. A great ancestor iu the grave is poor capital of itself for a man to go into buMiiess on. And besides, onr ancestors iiad thoir faults. Kvon Adam's -record is not as clear as we would like it to be. Julian Hawthorue; Our eyes are turned ln rrard Instead of outward, and each one of us t-Coms himself the lbuue toward w hich all til roads lead. . I the English idea. I IIow Americans Are Grossly Carl i catured on the Stag of Lon don Theatres. rni.in.rt Tj.irH ruiiipp in rhicnTo Trii.nn Last week I went to the Haymaiket to see He is a born gossip, a natural news Mr. Plnero's nowcoiuedy, with the misleading gatherer, and whatever he mav ch nice and unfortunate title of "Lords and Com moos," and here again I encountered this same unconventional, ill-bred, vulgar, nasal- toned, loud-talking, diamond -liestudiM, albeit good-hearted American girl. The a hasty telling a picturesque em play is as nearly perfect as anything II bellishmeut. and awnv ao tlio solf-an- have seen on the boards for many a day, It is clean and sweet, and the dialogue holds attention and Interest from first to last Moreover, it is perfectly done, as all the plays are at the Hay market under the management of Mr. and Mrs. IiaucrofL (Is it not delicious for Mr. Bancroft to associate his clever wife's name so conspicuously with bis ownf) Mrs. Stirling as Countess of Caryl was simply per - feet bless the dear old simple aristocrat! I wanted to hug her every minute she was on the stage; mind, she impersonated a lady of at least 60. Indeed, tlio acting was so con summate it left no place for the legitimate function of criticism. I always like Mr. Forbes-Robertson, for he is always equal to bis work, and then be is so handsome and ao gentlemanly, both off and on the txmrds. Mr. Bancroft as Tom Jervoise and Mrs. Bancroft as Miss Mapleback were what they always are-most intelligent, conscientious and fascinating artists. But Mrs. Bancroft impersonated this wholly disagreeable, loud, flashy, vulgar-taking American creature, who again was meant as a type, and I fancy a representative type, of the American girl of the period. Whenever an American is put Into an English story or Into an English play he or she is of this Ill-bred class. If a man, he is angular, lank und unkempt; bis bair or beard are very long and his clothes very outre ami unfitting; perhu he is made to attend to his teeth and bis finger-nails in public; it may lie in the drawing-room. If a woman, she is sallow, loud-talking, slangy, covered with finery, and has "struck ile," or her "gover- no gets w oe iuu years okl ; preters nor" has, for she bas "heaps o' money." stewed rabbit to a revorie and relig Iam always more than annoyed when in iously lelioves that in the multitude of books or in plays I see such caricatures of . - . . .1 niy fellow-countrymen. Btill, it is no use to deny the fact that this Is not only the English l.l. .. .1... A I 1.... 1. i idea of the American, but American, uui i. is almost tho European eHtimate. And why Is this) When I am In America I meet few of this sort of folk. All my American friends are ladies and gentlemen in every conventional war as well as in every real sense of these words. I have nowhere seen .n.i n.i.w.iu.1 u.1.1. 1.1 Mn.........t .... out. ...lug.., nimi iiiuiu u;in. viilinuiciiv un the face of this earth-nnd I know somewhat of life in Encdnud and mostof thecontinental countries than I have ever seen and mingleil with in Chicago and Boston. Indeed, there is a type of social life In America which I bold as inestimably higher than that of any other laud. It is as quiet, as self-resiH-cting, well-bred as any, and, added to these, it is more genuine, moie human, more loval in friendship, less at the bidding of Mrs. Urundy, than any social life I know. Hi must admit, however, that there Is always some basis in reality in actual life for the scoie and fancy of the charivari, and, although I am more than annoyed at these portraitures of my fellow-countrymen, I know where tho caricaturist "catches the idea." It cannot to denied that American uewsimisirs deal largely, and sometimes un warrantably with ixunounl atrairs and social life as the pitMs of no other country docs. This leads to exaggeration and the making up of occasions, occurrences aid "inter views" out of whole cloth. After one has lieen In the habit of reading the London dailies, or even the leading provincial uirof England, one Is instantly struck at the enormous enterprise and news! uess of American journals, but iiorbap even more so with the unserious and iu instances trivial way In which all atrairs of state. society and individuals are discumieil ami can. vanned by the less Important metropolitan papers and by almost all country newspaiwrs. Thus the less responsible Journals of America ana those or least lutlueuce at home o portray and really misrepresent American social me mat wuen tuey mm uielr wuv abroad these trustworthy. caricatures are accepted as Mhot Throush the. Heart. Mary A. IJvermore. a gn at natiie was m progress, when a largo division under (Ion. (lary came on the nekl. He reported to (leu. Thomas. All day the tido uf battle had turned, first in favor of the north, and then of the south. lien. Thomas (Minted to a certain pass, and said: "I want your men to hold that If they can do it, victory is ours." They formed, and there they stood, like animated granite. Time and again tho rebels came at them but could uot break the line. At length lien, tlnry gave the word, "Up, and at them, boys!" And with a ihmt the Union men charged down on the flying rclicls. Dying men heard the shout of victory and waved their feeble arms. Iu the evening the generals were congratulating each other, ami there was a call for (lary, who saved the duy. At last he was found sitting dejected in his tent, and to the messenger who came to sum mon him to receive tho congratulations of his general, he said: "I am shot through the heart; you must excuse me." itut i tuougiit you escaiiea without a scratch." Without a word (ieu. Ourv drew aside the flap of the tent, and there lay the IkxIv of his boy, who had been pierced through the heart by a bullet while making that charge. Ile quit In Time. Chicago Herald "Train Talk.) "liould aue Sage and tho. big lilies think they are mighty smart on sinvulnting," said a talkative old gentleman from Erie, To. "But I'll wager none of 'em ever tlid a cuter thing than our Hill Scott did alsmt II . years ago of couine you've heard of Hi . Hon. Will iam u Bcott, big railroad .nd ii-on man. Well, be hud never Ueu in at.y Wall street deals up to that time, bad just attended strictly to business and let others do the gam bling. One duy a friend gave bun a pointer. Bill believed it, went in heavy, and quit fAKi.lHiu w inner. L p lu Erie we point out to Strang" rs the Scott block handsomest build ing iu town ana tell 'em the money that built It was made in a day ract, ttw. Bcott made bis deal in a single day, and then quit, saying that he knew when he had enough, and that he was bouud to be one man to quit ahead of Wall street Bo he put his winnings into that block and has never gambled siuce. Beusible man, don't you thiukl" The Wasaaa Ilee First. Chicago Herald. A married couple perished in the Citv of Columbus disaster, leaving no children, but considerable property. As It is Impossible to my surely which one died Brst, the title to the estate will nave to be determined by infer ence. The courts have held in cases of shin- wreck that the woman being the weaker, the law warrants the conclusion that she died Brst, and, therefore, the bulud's heirs are f nulled, to the property. Chararterlntlea of the Rx-Mlavea. Hamilton Jay in Detroit Free Press. Tlia principal reason why papers edited and conducted exclusively by colored men and exclusively for the so called benefit of the colored race havo generally met with bail luck, and been so short lived, is that the negro has no i need oi a newspaper. to see or heur is at once acutterej to the four winds of heaven, through the medium of such of his own race as he may liappotl to meot. pointed courier", happy in the posses sion of a piece of news that insures them a hearty welcome everywhere, and in vests them with a dignity Ihoy could not otherwise hope to obtain.- .Nothing pleases the negro bettor than a chance to talk, whether it bo in the pulpit, cornfield, streot corner, or any 1 other place whole two or three Of his race are gathered together, Tell him something important, and in loss than twenty-four hour his neighbors for forty milos around have Heard all about it, decorated with weird brilliancy of meaning the various passages it has traversed. No matter where the negro may be or in what oc cupation engaged, if he can have some one to talk to he is perfectly happv, evolves a quantity 01 wwtioin, lum- crous and otherwise, that would make old Col. I'luto, of tho Athonian cavalry, turn palo with envy. I lie negro is a ererarious animal also.fand for him solitude has absolutely not a single charm. u will at nnv timo umllr ton mil..a for COmi)rtnv's sake, and a chance to air his social, political or religious opiu ions is considered bv him a greator favor than a glosi of whisky with white sugar thrown in. lie don t like to bo forcod to corn- muno witu Himself, at least not until counselors there is safety. .. -V Of the ten moasures of talk that are wipposed to have been thrown down . k from rimavon the neirro cut nine, and ho makes constant use of thorn on each and every possible occasion JelT ItavlH Marriage. l"W. L. C." in Inter Ocean. The second frame houso erected in I . . . . .. ( T W , ,V'Z. l. " "amo" wrwooii. nils liouso was usea H. Lockwood. This houso for t"8 garrison of Tort Crawford, and was tno resilience of various armv oflicers, among whom was " Zach " Taylor, then a colonel in tlio United States army and commander of this post for about sisteen veurs. Also JeHorson Davis, afterward president of the Southern Confederacy, was then a lieutenant in tho regular armv at this point. It was bore that "Jeff" wooed ond won Miss Noxio, a daug itor of "Zach" Taylor, concerning which opisodo no little of romance and fiction has been from timo to timo written. Dut the plain facts in tho case we tiiid to be tlieso: Taylor was strongly opposed to his daughter marrying Mr. Davis, but tiie girl being of ago repaired to Ualona, Ills., where sho hud friends, and Davis met and mnrriod hor there, which greatly en raged Taylor, who carried this enmity in his breast till the battle of liuenn Vista, in the Mexican war, upon which occasion Lieut. Davis proved himself a gallant soldier and a true frioud to his father-in-law, Taylor, by coming iu from an unexpected quarter as a reserve W nil up the gaps mado by his falling soldiors. This "coal of fire" softened Taylor's enmity toward "Jeff," and thev theu and there Bhook hands over the past and wore over afterward tho best of fruiuls." liana Hall and Uat. Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. During last yoar a Philadelphia firm made l,i)l!,0(H) bnse balls. It makes fourteen different stylos. About throe fifths of the demand is for tho cheaper grados for boys, selling at pricos rang mg from 5 to 50 conts oach. A good share of the remaiuing two-ilfths is for amateur dead 'and professional dead ' bulls, selling at i! cents and $1 re Hpectively. Ihe best make sells at $l.i!5. For bats tlio second growth of aali is best. It is proeurod in Wiscon sin and Michigan, and must be well seasoned. Thero are two styles of bats the "professional ash and the American willow" (really basswood). winch latter sells best in country towns and goes in company with tho cheaper class oi bans. Chlnene and Chlekena. Portland Oregoniun. It will probably astouish manv to know that three-fourths of all ' tho chickens , brought to this market are consumed by the Chinese, and that nine tenths of all the tamo ducks share the same fate. The longer a mail lives tho more he finds out.v and, instead of .-!. J r . i . minumon icasiing on rat pie, as lie is popularly supposed to do, he has just tnree tiiuej as nuicii chicken pie on his bill of faro as the white man, and nine times as much stowed duck. What theMuuilan Is Worth. Tall Mall Gazette. There are said to be lo.filW Christians and 40,000 Kgyptiuns iu itlio provinco; tuere are no less tiian l.uoio commercial houses owned bv European and 3,000 by Egyptians, and the import and ex port trade is valued at A'l 3,000,000 aa uually V American Journalist : Tho life of a reporter is Uset with temptations every w Here, woro than that of any other uiau. HOOD ON THE HALF SUELL In one of the topgallant flats. At a rickety sewing machine, A worn woman sat, embroidering cats, In red and vellow ami green. Working for daily bread, Through tileasaut weather and ronrh Till the tender grace of the days that are aeaa Seemed old and baldbeaded and tough. Work! stiteh! snip! With threa.1 and needle and shears, With aching and quivering lip, And eves that are cloudy with tears. Work! snip! stitch I Krom the dawn till the sunlicht fails. Trying her level best to get nth On blue cuts with cardinal tails. THE NEW TEACHER. Victory Scored for the Mountain Willow and the Qua With tie "Automatic Dingus." Bill Nye In Puck. "U'e had about as ouery and triflin' a crop of kids in Calaveras county thirty years ago as you could gather in with a fine-too, b comb and a brass Laud In fourteen states. For ways that was kittensouie they was moder ately active and abnormally protuberant. That was the prevailing style of Calaveras kl.ls, when Mr. O'orgj W. Mulquje i cjrne there and wanted to eue the suhjol at tin old camp, when- 1 bung up in the days when the country was now and tho murmur of the six-shooter was in the land. "George W. Mulqueen was a slender young party from the effete east, with conscien tious scruples and a hectic flush. Koth of these was aiu him for a prjinotir of school discipline and square root Ho bad a heap of Information and sorrowful eyes. "Bo fur as I was concerned, I didn't feel like swearing aroun 1 George or using any language that would sound irrevelaht in a lailies boodore; but as for the kids of the school, they didn't cure a blamed cent. Thty just hollered and w hooped like a passlo uf Sioux. ' "They didn't seom to respect literary at tainments or expensive knowledge. They just simply seemed to respect the genius that come to that country to win their young love with a long-handle shovel and a blood-shot tone of voice. That's what seemed to catch the Calaveras kids In the early days. "George had weak lungs, and they kept to work at bim till they drove bim iutoa mountain fever, and finally into a metallic sarcophagus. "Along about the holidays the sun went down on George W. Mulqueen's life just as the eternal sunlight lit up the dewy eyes. You will pardon my manner, Nye, but it seemed to me just as if George had climbed up to the top of Mount Calvary, or wherever it was, with that whole school on his back, and bad to give up at last "It seemed kind of tough to me, and I couldn't help blaniiu' it onto the school some, for there was balf-a-dozen big snooze tu that didn't go to school to learn, but just to raise Ned and turn up Jack. "Well, they killed him anyhow, and that settled it "The school run kind of wild till Feboowary, and then a husky young tenderfoot, with a fist like a mule's foot lu full bloom, made an application for the place, and allowed he thought he could maintain discipline if they'd give him a chance. Well, they ast him when he wanted to take his place as tutor, and he rokoned be could begin to tute about Monday morning. Sunday afternoon he went up to the school-house to look over the ground and to arrange a plan for un active Injiu campaign agin the hostile hoodlums of Calaveras. "Monday he sailed in alsjut U a. m. with his gripsack and begun the discharge of his ju ties. "lie brought in a bunch of mountain wit lers, and after driving a big railroad spike into the door casing over the latch, he sail the senate and house would sit with closed doors during the morning session. Several large, white-eyed holy terrors gazed at bim in a kind of dumb, inquiring tone of voice but he didn't say mucli. He seemed consid ably reserved as to the plan of the campaign The new teacher then unlocked his alligator skill grip and took outs Bible and a new self- cocking weapon that hud au automatic dingus for throwing out the empty shells. was one of the bull- log varieties and ha i tuj laugh of a joyous child "He read a short passage from the scrip tures, aud theu pulled off his coat and hung it on a nail. Then he made a few extern poraueous remarks, after which h; salivated tho palm of his right hand, took the slf cocking youngster in his left, and proceeded to wear out tho gads over the various pro- tulstrances of bis pupils. "People passing by thought they must be beating car(iets in the school-bouse. He pointed the gun at his charge with his left aud manipulated the gad with bis right duke. One large, overgrown Missouriau tried to crawl o ut of tho winder, but after he bad looked down the barrel of the shooter a moment, he changed bis mind. He seemed to realize that it would be a violution of tho rules of the school, so he came back and sat down. "After he wore out the foliage, Bill, he pulled the spike out of the door, put on his coat and went awav. He never was seen there again. He didn't ask for any salary, but just walked oil quietly, and that sum mer we accidentally heard that he was George W. Alulquecn's brother." llnblesj In the Audience. Robert J. Burdette. I point with pride to my record of seven or eight years on the rostrum. I have seen and heard iu ray audience legions of babies- all good babies, because all babies are good. Some are immeasurably better than others, but there are no lod babies mora and merely varying degrees of goodness. Soma of the babies the happy ones cooed and laughed through the lecture. Some of them the precocious ones talked aloud. Borne of them the sensible ones slept through every word of it; and some the unhappy ones, who bore upon their infant minds bur dens of care and woe fivtted and cried and shrieked aud hollered. They have scraimcd until my fisblo voice was inaudible to my' self. And I apeul to any mau or woman to say if 1 ever lost my temper, if I ever frowued, if I ever stopped talking because tho baby screamed. If any mau savs I ever betrayed one sign of ill-nature or distraction the same is a thief and a liar, and "dasseut take it up." Tho babies in the audience never bother me. I have seen them drive an audience to mad ness, however. But then the audience Isn't paid for listening to the baby, and I am. At least, compre hensively, I am paid for everything that goes on during my hour and a half. I.uild. , Lowell Citien. The Chicago Tribune lias seen Irving and says that "his intellectuality is luminous and widely horizoned." Gosh! Sounds like a description of one of the red sunsets I Henry will send home a copy of that paper. Peeullar. A great mauy people have a rery peculiar kind of religion. It resembles the portrait which the young girl wanted to have painted, which was to be a perfect likeness of her lover, but not recognizable to any one else. A LUCKY KASOAE0O HUNTER. One of the most darinir Kantr&roo hunt- ers of Australia, and his stag hounds, were terribly lacerated by a wounded Kangaroo, on the great sheep ranch of Mr. Alfred Hay, Iloomanoomana, N. S. W., and were entirely cured by the use of St. Jacobs Oil. Air. llay write that it is the greatest pain-cure ever introduced for man or beast. Hew He Captured the Old Man Philadelphia CalLJ "Sir," said a young man entorin.fr an office in which was seated an old gen tleman, "I am a stranger to yon, though we 1 acrinu nted with your uaugutor Hut before demanding her hand in mar I would like to ask you a few qnettions." "Certainly, sir; proceed." "About how much are you worth? Well, I should sav my fortune would cover M.OOO.OOO at least." "Quito a respectable amount. IIow is it invested?" "United States bonds." "Ah, yes; safe investment; and the entire amount will ro to vour daughter at your doath ?" "Every cent of it." "Quite right. Well, I have had some little conversation with the young lady with regard to our forthcoming mar riage, and she suggested that I hud bet ter mention the mattor to you. "You bio both very kind," replied the old gentloman, meekly. "Would it be presumptuous on my part if I were to ask you who you are I "Certainly not, sir. You possess thnt right undoubtedly. I am one of the directors of the Now York Coaching club and will drive third in line in our Fifth avenue parade next Mav." The old man stru.TKlod with his emotion for a moment and then, in t broken voice, said: "She is yours, sir ihe is yours." Har nam's Latest, London Truth. I went on Saturday to see the ole phant. He is , a well-proportioned beast, but he can only be called white by those who are in the habit of calling black white. Ihe only Uitforence be tween him and other elephants is that he has a cream-colored patch with spots on his trunk, and one or two others on his chest, and that the tips of his ears are of the same hue aud look like a sort oflocework. I have no reason to doubt that he is a holy animal ; but, alas ! hi s presence in the flesh among us dispels one more illusion the sacred white elephants which the Siamese worship are, so fur as color is concerned, pious frauds. In Mexico there is a race of Indians with light patches on their skins. These mottled savages go by the name of 1'intos. "loung loloung is a 1'into; he looks like an ele' pliant with a slight touch of leprosy, with a coating of whitewash, however, aud with a few priests in gorgeous east' em rament to minister to him, I should thiuk that he is likely to prove remunerative as a show beast. Extraordinary Oevelopuirnt. Chicago Times. Turing the six months in whudi fio battle of Tel-el-Kebir was fought, tho receipts of the telegraph company winch forwarded presi dispatches to London, were $20 1, 00 more than in the half vcur that followed. This fact is cited as an illustration of the extra ordinary development of newspaper en terprise. I'rnmnteM Linirevlty. Chicago Hurall. During fie past fortnight no less than 800 vagrant ha e been arretted in the streets of Paris for begging, sleeping out, and such like offenses. This kind of existence seems peculiarly favorable to longevity, for uo less than tweuty were men whose ages ranged from ttJ to tCI. 8everal of them, when inter rogated, declared that they had not slept in a bed, except when in prison, for at least thirty years. "We nevor speak as we pass by." W nave exchanged oooks. STARTLING DISCLOSURE. OVER TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS LOST AN 0U) PIONEER'S STATEMENT. How a Fortune wu Spent in Tain An Event fal Career-Reseaed at Last. San Francisco, Cal. The Dally Chron icle publishes the following editorial com municatlon from Captain W. F. Swasev. the oldest pioneer in Son Francisco, a gen tleman wcii-kiiewn throughout the coust, which will lie Belf-cxulunatorv: Editor of the Cnronicle iim: Anything concerning the history of an old Califor- niun, especially if he is extensively and f' vorably known throughout the Pacific Coast, never fails to attract attention, but when the circumstances attending his ca reer are of such a peculiar character, that a Knowledge of them w ill benefit the pub lie at large, the Imparting of such know ! eago oecomes not only a pleasure, but a duty as well. Therefore, the writer deems tho following brief sketch not only emi nently proper, but also feels confident that it win prove aeepiy interesting ana bene' tlcinl to thousands who will read it. Colone I). J. Williamson, the sublect of .1.:.. . i.u.. . ? ..i., mis icucr, ciucrcu uie i niou ivrmy in inoi as Keeimental Quartermaster of the Fourth California Infantry, and in Will he was aimointed bv President Lincoln. Can. tnln Quartermaster of the United States Army. He served with distinction to him self and honor to the Government until lNw. at which time he left the military service and U'came a prominent oiierator in stocks in San Francisco. In this busi ness he continued until 1K70. when he re ceived from President lirant the appoint ment of United States Consul at (. allno, Peru. In 1(74 he w as appointed by Presi dent Grant, Cousul nt Valparaiso, Chili, and also Charge d' Affairs of that Kepub lic, which latter positions he was com pelled by ill health to resign in 1S78. In the winter of INil i, a winter that was unusually inclement, while on mili tary duty at Sacramento, Colonel William son was obliged to sleep in tents, and then tlrst contracted the terrible scourge of rheumatism, from which he tit times suf fered excruciating pain, although he was not incapacitated from duty. After he had left the service and entered upon busi ness pursuits, the disease nertinaclouslv clung to his svstem, although he re sorted to the most eminent medi cal advice and to evjry known rcmedv for relief. When arrived in Peru, where rheumatism is very prevalent, the disease assunufi a still more virulent type and his sufferings became so utterably in tolerable tbftt he was obligedto submit to the application of hvnodermic iniivtinna of morphia, frequently administered as often as twenty-five times in twentv-four hours. He visited the famous baths of that country w ithout avail, and w hen he reached Chili, resorted to the baths Co- uenes anil afterwards to the liaths on lie summit of the Andes, which latter are celebrated throughout the world for their efficacy in the cure of rheumatism. He still found no relief, however, anil In lCH his knees and lower extremities became so- powerless iro.a the disease that he was obliged tot .sign his position and return to Califoriiia. Ha at once repaired to the Paso liobles Ssrimrs. in San I.hU Dl.iann County, where he received but slight tem porary relief, the malignant complaint continuing to torture and rack his frame almost without cessation. From 1H78 un til about two months, he has been totally deprived of the use of his lower limbs licing absolutely unable to perform the most simple physical act without assist ance. Some six months ago he was In duced by his friend, Ferdinand Wault Esq., Secretary of the California Pioneers' to try St, Jacobs Oil. It is fortunate he iV so, ior io-uay, alter long years of Into, agony and utter prostration, he is rI.u walk about with comfort and without tlJ aid of either cane or crutches. He has dis continued all medical treatment and the use of all narcotics, and he gratefully and emphatically attributes this hannv rpsHlh 'solely to the use of St. Jucolts Oil. The writer of this letter having himself been a sufferer from rheumatism, and having been thoroughly cured by the same reme dy, feels impelled by a sense of duty to afflicted humanity, to Impart this Informa tion to the public. Yours respectfully, W. F. Swasky. San Fkancisco, Cai.. Captain W. F. Su asey, Pioneer Hall, City: Dkar CAPTAINHavinst csifully - the foregoing, I cheerfully add n- u; Hied attestation to the truthfuli statements contained therein. ' lifse, no language Is adequate to cdy treal istic sense of the fearful suffering and agony I have passed through in the last eight years, during which time I have ex pended at least $ :iu,000 for remedies, med ical attendance, and an enforced residence at different bathing resorts. I cheerfully add this testimony because I feel perfectly certain that a knowledge of my cure by St. Jacobs Oil will prove the means of re lieving hundreds of sufferers from the Bangs of the dreadful disease alluded to. onlldent of being soon again able to re sume my former active life, I remain al ways your friend, D. J. Williamson, o20 Taylor street. San Francisco, Cal. A Miraculous Escape. The St. Louis, Mo., Post-Dispatch says: A most remarkable case has just come to the notice of a reporter of this paper, who having been informed of the wonderful cure of Mrs. Phoebe Rice, 1208 Madison street, a sister of Hon. II. Clay Sexton, Chief of the St. Louis Fire Department, visitea mat may at ner residence. Airs, Rice made her statement without the least reluctance and said that for the past seven years, she had been a sufferer from acute, Inflammatory rheumatism, which had af fected the muscles of the hands, contract ing them so badly she could not comb her hair, hold a needle or nick up a pin, and rendered the lower limbs so helpless she required crutches to move about. During ten months she w as obliged to carry the right hand in a sling. Physicians were called In, but gave her only temporary re lief. Some time ago one of her children was afflicted with a contraction of the muscles of the lower jaw, which turned her mouth to one side; a few applications cf St. Jacobs Oil restored the features to their natural condition, and Mrs. Kice be gan to look hopefully towards it for her own cure. A single application, she said, made her a tirni believer in its virtues, as the effect was instantaneous and she was greatly benefited. The continued use of it brought her to the happy state in which the reporter saw her, with the free use of her limbs and in perfect health, cured. She was very enthusiastic in her com mendations of the pain-relieving and cur otive powers of St. Jacobs Oil, which she sold had accomplished more for her in a few weeks than all the other remedies the physicians had recommended in the past seven years. She can now run up and down stairs, she said, and her hands were as useful, in every respect, as they had be- lore sne began to suiier, seven years ago. "God bless St. Jacobs Oil." tho good ladv exclaimed, as the reporter was about to leave. Mrs. Rice has lived in this city thirty years, and her statement, worthy of all credence, is fully corroliorated by her friends and neighbors, and by her own children, who were fully cognizant of her helpless condition before she began to use the wonderful remedv. CATARRH A New Treatment whereby a permanent cure is effected in from one to three applications. Particulars and trea tise free on receipt of stamp. A. H. Dixon & Son, 305 King street west, Toronto, Can. "Mother Swan's Worm Syrup." for feverishness, restlessness, warms, consti pation, tasteless. 225 cents. For seven years Allen's nrain Food has stood the strongest tests as to its merits in curing Nervousness, Nervous Debility and restoring lost powers to the weakened Generative System, and, iu no instance, nas it ever laiica; test it. yi: n for Jio. At druggists, or by mail from J. II. Allen, H15 First Avenue, New York City. Red ington, Woodward & Co., Agents. Skinny Mkn. "Wells' Health Renewer" restores health and rigor, cures Dyspepsia, Impotence. THE GREAT GERMAN REMEDY FOR PAIN. Relieves and cures rheumatism; Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago, BACK A HE, HEADACHE, TOOTHACHE, SORE THROAT, QUINSY, SWELUNOSl SPBAIKft, Soreness, Cuts, Bruises. FROSTBITES, BCBXS, SCALDS, And all othr bodily ache and pains. FIFTT CENTS 1 BOTTLE. fcoldbyall Dmigtstsaiv! Dealers. Lirectlous la U languages. 0(j The Charles A. Vsjetor Co. (Bn i H A. TOOILIU 1 00.) BIUMn i.D.S.A. ulntn act i purifier .f the MimmI and wheft their fuuo tintii are tnterlYrcd with through weftvk- nes, they neel ton ing. Tht7 1 ecorue healthfully a five hy the iim cf H.wUH Wt'i Stomach Kitten, when falling ihort of rtillef from other i turrea. ThU super b stim '.dating tonic also iirevenU and arreata fever and amie, ooq ti nation, liver om plaint, dyipepita, rhe uiuatiiin and other ailment. IV it with regularitf. For aale by all bruggiftU anil Iealen general!. WILBOR'S COMPOUND OP PURE COD LIVER ftTT. A "Km T TMP . II "7 Te One and A II.-A re yea as a-rina as ring from a Cough. Cold, Asthma. Hrom of the various pulnionar; troubles Mnrl In I Vininmiirintil it n o w . - Pl-Hlf rvn I ivru On ivn I iw. .f'fj sure remwiy. This is no quark P"Ut -.rC li pn-wribpd by the nili-al faculty. Manv factum! only by A. B. W ILBOR. Chemist, Boa ton, told by all druggists. iaiHF'd mm 1