Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (March 8, 1884)
"BRER" RABBIT'S SAN ITY TEST, "Uncle Remus" In Atlanta Constitution. "Uncle Itcmtis," said the child, "jo yon reckon Brother Babbit really mar ried the young ludjr?" "Blew yo' soul honey," responded the old man, with a sigh, "hit b'longs ter Brer Jack fur tr toll you dat. Taint none er my tale." "Wasn't that the tale you started to toll?" "Who? Me? Shoo! I ain't 'spntin' bat w'at Brer Jack's tule desez imrty ez dey er any needs fer, yet 'taint none er my tale." At this the little boy laid bis hand upon Undo ltenins' knee and waited. "Now, den." said the old man. with an air of considerable importance, "we er got to.go 'way back behind dish yer yallergater doin's w'at Brer Jack bin mixin' us up wid. f I makes no mis take wid my 'membrance, de place wbarbouts I leff ofl wu2 whar Brer Rabbit Lad so many 'p'intments for to keep out de way t'er creeturs dat he 'gun 'ter feel monHtus humbyfied. Let am bo doy will, you git folks in a close place ef you wanter see urn shed der proudness. Dey beg more samer dan a nigger w'en de patterrollers ketch 'im. Brer Babbit aint do no beggin kaze dey ain't kotcb ; yet doy come so nigh it, he 'gun to feel he weakness. "W'en Brer Babbit feel dis a way, do he set down flat er de groun' en let de t'er creeturs rush up en grab 'em ? He motit do it doze days, kase time dono change; but in dem days he den tuck 'n sot np wid hisse'f en study "bout w'at he gwine do. He study en study, rn las' bo up 'n toll he ole oman, ho did, tint he gwine on a journey. Wid dat, ole Miss Babbit, sho tuck 'n fry 'im up a rasher er bacon, en bnke 'im a pone er urcau. urer liiihDil tied (Ms np in a bag en tuck down he ualkin' cane en put out." "Whero was be going, Uncle Bomus?" asked tho littlo boy. "Lomme 'lone, honey 1 Lemnio sorter git hit up, like. De trail mighty cole 'long yer, sho; kase dish yer tule ain't come 'cross my min' not soiice yo' gran'pa fotch us all out er i'erginny, en , dat's a inonstiis long time ago. "He put out, Brer Babbit did, fer ter ee ole Mummy-Bammy Big-Money." "Dat uz dut ole witch rabbit," re marked Annt Tempy, complacently. 'Yasser" continued Undo Remus. "do ve'y same ole oreetur w'at I done tell you "bout w'en Bror Babbit los' he foot. He put out, he did, en after so long a time he git dar. He take time fer to kotch lie win', en den he sorter shako hisself up rn rustle 'round in de grass. Bimoby lie holler : , "'Mammy-Bammy.Big-Moneyl Oh, Mammy-Bommy Big-Money I I jour neyed fur; I journeyed fas'j I glad I foun'do place at las'." "Great big black smoko rise up out er de groun,' en ole Mammy-Bammr Big-Money 'low : "'Wharfo' Hon Riley Rabbit, Riley? Son Rabbit Riley, wharfo' ?' "Wid da," continued Uncle Remus, dropping the sing song tone by means ct which he managed to impart a curi ous dignity and stotoliness to the dia logue between Brother Babbit and Mammy-Bammy Big-Money "Wid dat Brer Babbit up 'n toll 'er, lie did, 'bout how he fear'd he losin the use er he min', kaze he done come tor dat pass dat ho ain't kin fool de vuther creeturs no mo , en dey push 'im so closto twell twont bo long fo' doy 'ill got 'im. Do ole witch-rabbit she sot dar, she did, en suck in black smoke cn piift it out 'gin, twell yer can't see nothin' 'tall but 'er great big eyeballs en 'er great big years. After w'ile she 'low : '"Dar sets a squorl in dat tree, Son Riley ; go fetch dat squer'l straight ter me, Son Riley Rabbit, Riley.' "Brer Rabbit sorter study, en den ho 'low, ho did : . " 'I ain't got much senoe tof, yet ef I can't coax dat chap down from dar, den hit's kase I done got sonio zeeo w'ich it make me flbble in do min', sozce. "Wid dat, Brer Rabbit tuck 'n empty do provender out 'n do bag en got 'in two rocks, r n put do bag over he head rn sot down und" de tree whar do sqner 1 Is. lie wait littlo w'ile en den he dap the rocks torgedde'r blip 1 "Squorl he holler, 'Hey.' "Brer Rabbit wait littlo, rn don he tuck 'n slap do rooks tergoddor blap I "Squer'l ho run down de tree little bit en holler, 'Heyo I' "Brer Rabbit ain't savin' nothin. He des pop do rocks tergedder blopl ' "onucrl. he comes down littln fur. der, he did, en holler, 'Who dat?' " 'Biggidy Dick Big-Bag!' "'What you doin' dar?' 'Crackiu' huk'y mils. " 'Tooby sha, Miss Bunny Bushtail; cotno git in de bag.' "Miss Bunny Bushtail hong back," continued Undo Remus, chuckling; "but de long en de short uu it wus dut she got in de bag, en Brer Bnbbit he tmk'n kyar'd 'er ter old Mammy. Bunuuy Big-Money. Do old witchrab bit, sho tuek'n tu'u desquerTa-loose.cn luff ; " 'Dar lies a snuke in 'niungs' de grass, Son Biloy; go Mch 'im yer, en bo right fus". Sou Riley Rabbit, Riley.' "Brer liiibbit look 'roun,' en sho 'mill dar laydo binges' kinder rattlesnake, all qmlo up ready fer business. Brer Rabbit scratch ho year wid ho Whine leg, en study. Vit after w ile he go off in do bushes, ho did, en cut 'im a voting wur, ru ua ux im a snp-Knot. Den lie come Pack. Nmke, ricutlv look Ink be tdocp. Brer Rabbit ax "im how he come on. Nmke ain't sav nothin', but h quite np little tighter,' en ho tongue uh vui ii inn Had grease on it. Mouf shot, yet de tongue slick out en lick baek'fo' a sheep kin shake he tail. Brer Rabbit, he 'tow, he did: "'Law, Mr. Snake, I might t glad I come 'cross yon,' sezee. 'Mi an' olo Jedge B'ar bin bavin' a terrible 'spute "bout how long you is. We bofe 'gree dat you look mighty purtv w'en tou er laym' stretch out f ull lenk in de sun. but Jedge B'ar, be 'low vou ain't but ui ee loot long ef no mo ,' sez.. 'Kn I had I boun' doy'der bin some1ellerin' done roun dar, sezce. "Snake ain't say nothin', bnt he look mo' comnbissv dan what be bin look in'. '"I up'n tole ole Jedge B'sr.'sezBrer KaMiit, soec, dat de nox time I run 'cross you I gwine take'n medjer yon, en iroodness knows I miirhtv olid I stuck up wid you, kaze now dey wont lie no mo casion fer any sputin twix ne en Jedgo B'ar,' sezee. "Den Brer Babbit ax Mr. Snake ef he wont be so good ez ter onriuile hisse'f, Snake he feel mighty proud, de did, en he stretch out fer all he wuf. Brer Babbit, he medjor, he did. en 'low : "'Dor one foot fer Jodga Bar; dar two foot for Jedge B'ar, dar th'ee foot fer Jedge B'ar; n, bless goodness, dar four foot fer Jedge B'ar, des Ink I say !' "By dat time Brer Babbit done got der snake head, en des ez de las wud drop 'n be mouf, he slip de loop roun' snake nock, en den he bad im good en fas'. He took 'n drag 'im, he did, np ter whar do ole witch rabbit settin' at; but w'en he git dar, Mammy-Bammy Vig-Money done make 'er disappear ance. But he year sump'n way of! yanuer en soetn lak it say : " 'Ef you git any mo' sense, Son Riley, you'll be de ruination ov de whole settlement, Son Kiley Babbit, Riley.' "Den Brer Rabbit drag de snake long home, en stew 'im down en rub wid de prea.se fer ter make 'im mo' sooplor in do lim's. Bless yo' soul, honey! Brer Rabbit mout er bin kinder fibble in do legs, but he waa't no ways cripple und' de hat." 1'lilladelphla Parka. Joaquin Miller. The grpat pork here has in roads ond drives altogether nearly KM) miles. Our Central park of New" York is only a doll's playhouse in comparison to it. Dark and slimy-looking rivers, sug gestive of cattish and eels, slide around and about tho city. But their dullness is relieved by tho glory of the woods, thnt now in the full splendor of autumn illume their banks and hang above the leaf-strewn, winding, silent waters. Here in this park tliey show you the house where Tom Moore is said to have written sonio of his melodies. Here is also a dreary-looking habitation, colled Arnold's house, said to have beengivon this unhappy man as a reword for his treason. Ah, ves, beautiful Philadelphia beautiful I mean when you got outside of her and into this park ond out of sight of tho horrid rows of houses baa her traditions and stories, too; her house where Washington slept, hor Independence hall, her Penn and his enduring treaty made under the elm of peaco. A man who could not respect oil these and bow his head before them in this city of bricks botwoen tho two rivers has little in himself that is worthy of rcspoot. As my friend drove me back from the thirty-mile drive in this greatest park in all the world I asked him how it was this city, without onv special oommcrco uu nnniiiKie une oi snips iromr.urope, nad grown to such boiiLdless dinien sions. He quietly drove me to some of the lactones for answer. And now. would vou like to son all tho factories of Philadelphia before leaving our city 7 "Well, yos, I think I should ; tho per sons employed all soom so happy, neaiiiiy, content and comfortable, thut I should enjoy seeing oil the factories of Philadelphia, I think." W hen we got fairly back in the cor riugo and the robe over our legs, my wealthy and impressive friend said: " We have 12,000 of these factories; we have 240.000 persons emoloved." As we drove home I asked : " What is your next greatest thing in Philadel phia I "Our city hall and its contemplated tower. ' And your noxt greatest?" " Oeorge W. Childs. sir." I was silent and said no more all the way to tho gate. MARTYRS TO VANITY. Self-Sacrlflce to Fashion That Would Be Noble if Shown la a Better Causa What the "Thunderer" Nay of "1 rum p." Londou Time. Gen. Sherman bore a pro-eminent part in the execution of the masterly movements to which the collapse of tho south was duo. In the world's military history his famous progress through me noari ot tho Confederate stote9 will till a broader page than tho re morseless shuck or dead-weight hurled iy ins cniei against tlio insurgent front, 1U audacity wus a calculated audacity. He inflicted a moral wound moro dis astrous than the materia) shock, llv bis flank march he shattered the nerve of the enemy. Ihe absonee of resistance on bis expedition through Georgia to the sea was not a happy accident on which his success depended. Ho was pro- pared to right, and would have fought ana conquered, if opposed, in Georgia as ne iougnt and conquered the next rear in the Carolina. In him the United Stotoa bad tho good fortune to possess a ooru general, who has always understood war as a gamo of skill as well as a trial of brute strength and dogged endurance. Except (Ion. Leo, it would be bard to say what com mander on either side committed fewer mistakes and earned victory more rightfully than Gen. Sherman. London Truth. Miranda ban the loveliest arms you ever hit, Bbe Is delighted that short sleeves are worn, and her gloves are not nearly so long ss other people's. Her favorite attitude is sitting, with ber right elbow In the pahn of her left band. She waves her hand when she peaks. At a dance, her right arm is well displayed behind ber partner's left, if be Is tall, or on bis shoulders, if be is small. Those beautiful arms have spoiled Miranda. Bbe wears black, though It does not suit ber com plexion, because her arms look so white against it. 8hs is always directing your at tention to those unlucky ones, numerous enough, who have thin arms. Whoever mar ries ber will have to be very careful never, under any circumstances, to admire another woman's arm. If be should make a slip In this direction there would, to use a good old phrase, be "wigs on the green." Did vou ever see such dear little feett Or such perfectly turned ankles! Or more won derful stockings! Never, indeed. Herpretty feet are Lesbia's siwclalty. That is why she wears those flowered stockings and those little pointed shoes. That is the reason ber skirts are so unusually short Lesbia Is bright and clever. Hhe is sensible about everything but feet Bbe Is a trying girl to talk to. Hhe will Interrupt the most inter ertin? conversation lust when you think you are "both beginning to get on so well," to ask If you approve of high heels, or some other such leading question. Slie is like Mr. Dick with king Cbarlos, and must drag the topic of feet into everything. It is a pity; and yet many prefer her to Nora, whose feet are well shaped enough, but who has "no stylo." She talks merrily and pleasantly when you know her well, but is rather quiet with strangers. Not at all the sort of girl to get on. Her voice is not sufficiently loud or imperious. Hhe does not bustle about with an air as though the world were made for hor. Hhe wears pretty gowns, but does not bunch them out nor mince along with oubretto-like trip, swaying ber gown from siilo to side, as Lesbia does. In fact, she will never look anything "in a room," though she may be well enough as the presiding spirit of a borne. Bhe is hopelessly unfashionable. Letitia bas a waist It is bor great point, ana she is very proud of it Well she may be, for it is the result of patient years of pain. Bbe bos laid on the shrine of that lit tle waist many precious things good health, good temper and good spirits. Having sacri uoou the nrst, the two others followed as a matter of course. But then it is such a won- duiful waist I It cannot measure more than seventeen inches, at , the very most The pressure has made her nose permanently red. Not all the waters of Araby would not make that nose white again, but what matters! Does it not belong to the smallest waist in London ! One thing that immediately strikes the beholder. He wonders bow so small a waist can possibly be so obtrusive. . Were it two yards around it could not more aggressively iusist on being noticed. Draperies are so ar ranged as to lead the eye down to it, and skirts are of such a fashion as to guide the attention up to it Letitia walks with ber elbows well out from ber sides, so as to advertise, in a pointed way, the fact that your view is scarcely Inter rupted by her slight and well-distributed fig ure. As she stands talking to you she puts a band on either side of this wonderful waist, and apears to be curbing bersolf in, as it wore. Bhe wears the tightest of jackets, and never Is seen in a dolman. She gets terriblo colds in the winter, because she will not wrap up. Iu fact, her whole existence is a burnt-offering to her waist Were she to grow stout her object in life would be gone. Ietitia denies herself even the gratification of an excellent apiwtite in the interest of a small waist, a solf-sacrillce that would be noble In a better cause. Mirxa has the loveliest complexion In th world. Without it she would be a perfectly charming girL With it she is quite a bore. If there Is any wiud she is unhappy, "because it makes -my cheeks so rough." It the sun shines ihe Is miserable, "because I tnn fright fully." If It is hot she grumbles, "I flush so painfully." If it is cold her cry is, "I can't go out tOKlay, for I got so blue in cold weather." Her cheeks are of such an inde scribable texture that roughness has never yet invaded them; tunning never' approaches them. Hhe fliuhes the prettiest dainty pink you ever saw; ami in cold weather a soft color rises In her face and a wistful look comes into ber eyes that makes her quite adorable. Wby theu, all these excuses! Simply liecaifee she thinks prevention better than cure, and is afraid of a thousand viewless eueuiies on her complexion's account She is a martyr to ber own consciousness. The Aallqalty mt Xarrotlrn. yew Orleans Picayune. The plants which produce narcotic and stimulating effect were in the earli est times sacred plants, used in the worship of the gods, while their sooth ing or exhilaroting effects were known only to the privileged do ses of the royal and priestly orders. The priest esses of Apollo, under the inspiration of the jntce of the poppy, delivered tlioir oracles and prophecies. The Hindoo seers, drunk with bhang, saw visions of the divine Nirvana and held communication with the spirits of their d 'nd ancestors. The American Indian smokes the pipe of peace and burns the sucred tobacco to appease the anger of the Great Spirit. Finally, in the course of ages, those mysterious and sacred plants the poppy, which produces the opium; the cannabis indica, or Indian hemp, which yields the hasheesh, or bhang, and the American tobacco be came the inheritance of the common people, who fouud in them a solace, an exhilaration, transports, and bliss which, if they are not divine, have in them at least a touch of elysium when ther can make the wretch forget his mhericsand the sufferer his pangs. There is no record, not even a tradi tion, that shows when these magical plants that modicine so many ills and produce so mony others began to be used. I bey come down from the ear liest antiquity, and when they first ap peared they were alwavs associated with the religion of the people among whom they wero found. Tobacco, however great its import ance and almost universal its use, is not the only one of theto sacred plants which America has given to man. The most singular in its properties ond potent in its effects, if tho least known to tho public, is the. Peruvian plant, tho coca. Under its influence men are ca pable of undergoing the most arduous labors and bearing up under tho most extraordinary privations, going for days without food or sleep, and yet performing what would be otherwise exhausting exertions. Hub-urban Hoton. IIulTnlo Express. Then the Bostou host can tuko his guest lucb a drive from Cambridge through Water- town, Newton proper, and all the other New- tons to Aubunulale, as cannot be matched in the country, over twelve miles of roads smooth as a billiard table, shaded on either side by grand old trees, which stand like ten tluels in front of an endless succession of the finest private estates in this count ry.and every one of them maintained in the highest degree of perfection. A stranger is at once im pressed with the fact that they are homes in the bust sense of the word, and the people who Inhabit them do not live In their trunks Ave months in the year, as do all good New l orkeix et the route 1 bavs iudirated is only oue of tlie many In all directions and equally charming. Kacb time I visit Boston and its suburbs I am more cooriiKwl than ever of the fact that at Wast iu middle and higher claws frt far mora enjornxfit and comfort out of life than do people of corres ponding clasm in this citr. and at an ex penditure of one-quarter of the motw-y. defalk got so hot dat I come niijh hit tin' 'im a clip wid iut alkin' cane.euif rower f a ltrawntUe I'ader Pull Headway. A correspondent of The Scientific ' ...... American gives i no loiiowmg account of the destruction effected by a runaway locomotive at Lowell, Mass., on the Bos ton iV Alamo railroad : "Meeting with no obstruction on the ay, it plunged into the depot at n rate oi siMed esi minted at sutv miles an hour. The first olistacle encountered was the heavy hunter at the end of the track, which was torn up and lodged on the cow-catcher; it next tore np tho Plank ing and beams of the floor and demol ished one end of the baggage bouse; it next encountered a brick partition about eighteen inches thick, which as scat tered in all dmetions; after passing through this wall it traversed the length of the U. S. A express office, and struck the outside wall of the depot, abutting on Central street, with such force ss to drive tho banter which had lodged on the cow catcher, clear through a solid granite rock a foot in thickness, making a hole about fifteen feet in diameter." Auather Vrralea. Cloverport (Kv.) News T'-J true story of Oen. Jobo Morgan's death will never be told until the hubry of his caiidalous amours at Grwnrill, Tenn., is writ leu. His death, so far from Iting a hero's inurtvrdoui in U-half nf a muse be esteemed holy, was due to bis librrtine in stincts, and the blind, unreasoning fury of an insnnely jealous woman. Had be hm-n pure as a man as he a dsuutli-o u a nl lir, be would pniibly I alive to-dsy. Thi is the whole truth of the matter in a nul-twll. Like lieu. V.nn Dorn, he could not govern the bamr passion of his nature, and lue tint accom plished but unfortunate oflleer, in gratifying those paimions he lost bis life. It was Don Juaa and not Leonida who was killed in that Urernvtlle garden. Keyal H Irian. IntrOcrn.l The prince ot Wales plays the banlo. the princess Ixmise the gU.ar, the rriucem of Wal - has accompanied Nilsiun on in piano. the -n 't of Edinbnrg plays the violin, and the-K ' Is able to turn the pajr of a full scciv 'e the duke or Albany is almost a wu-'.i -' n"A How Wooden Hpoola Are Made. Lewiston (Me.) Journal. The birch is first sawed into sticks four or five feet long and seven-eighths of on inch to three inches square ac cording to the sizo of the spool to be produced. These sticks ore thoroughly seasoned. I hey are sowed into short blocks and the blocks are dried in a hot air kiln. At tho time they are sowed a hole is Iwred through them. Ond whirl of the little block against sharp knives, shaped by a pattern, makes the spools at the rate of one per second. A small boy foods the spool machine, simply placing the bbx-ks in a spout and throwing out tho knotty or defective stock. Tho machine is automatic, but cannot do the sorting. The spools are revolved rapidly in drums and polish themselves. J? or some purposes they are dyed yel low, rod or block. They are modo in thousands of shapes and sizes. When one sees on a spool of thread 100 yards" or "200 yards" these words do not signify that the thread has been measured, but that the spool has been gauged and is supposed to contain so much thread. When a silk or linen or a cotton firm wants a spool made it sends a pattern to the spool-maker. This pattern gives the size and shape of the barrel and of the head and bevel. These patterns determine the amount of thread that the spool will hold. Josh Bllllnga Aging. Cor. Liter Ocean. "Josh" is beginning to look just a littlo aged, and tired, and bent; his loner hair falls in curls down his back, and ho brushes heovy locks from his fore head from time to time with a loner. tony forefinger. He has a habit of looking at you with his dark penetrat ing eyes thai mokes you think he is reoding your very thoughts; perhaps he is. He has an odd way of jerking out short sentences at unexpected intervals every now and thou. "Be sure you're .right, then go ahead that's what I al ways tell young mon, s:id "Josh, as he looked nt your correspondent with a kindly wink. "I was young once," ho added, and his voice dropped low. THE FKUIT-WOMAN'S NEPHEW. fFrom the French of H. Moreau.J "What, you wretch!" cried Pere La- zare, cook at Versailles, to his son; yon will be 6 years old at Christmas, and you can't do the least thing of use; you can neither turn the spit nor skim the pot!" One must avow that Father Lazore was somewhat riffht in bis reprimand ing, .for at the moment in which the scene passed, 176, he had just caught his heir-presumptive in delicto flagrante of frolio and laziness, skirmishing, armed with a skewer in the guise of a t tja as everybody knows. The foil, with the smoky kitchen wall, re- mutinied; in vain did the gjnerol gordless of a fowl that upon a tome iy -ike Henry, of Novorre, whose bis piteously waited to be spiceu, anu oi . - , i.ft(i reB(j: "hoiaicrs. rauy on not li ss freely npon the fruit-seller's cheek. But ft,fts! war terrible chances; and one fine day the conqueror iet ith a misadventure which almost disgusted him forever with the maniofor conquest. It happened in this wise: As he bent oyer to observe the enemy's movomonts, bis hand rested npon the trunk of a tree, a little after tho manner of Napoleon jiointing a battery at Montmirail, the gcneroi'i trousers crocked and split bahind, you know where, letting hong and flutter a large bit of the little shirt which Mar tho had washed and ironed tho evening before. At this sight the heroes of Montmirail burst into laughter as loud .AS tile ues cum - - - o"-" in Ton quia Is maJe of leaj. 'Garrison's rlt. Detroit Free Press. s The first copy of the faniod "Libera tor" was published by Mr. Garrison in 1831. He started this journal without money and without an office. In his salututory he said : "I am in earnest. win not equivocate i win not excuse I will not retreat a sinclo inch. And I will bo heard." The last copy of Ihe "Liberator was issued in January, loOO. Jn his valedictory he said: "I began the publication of Tho 'Liberator' without a subscriber, and I end it it gives me unalloyed satisfaction to soy wnnout a iartiung as the pecuniary re run oi tne patrouage extended to it, during tweuty-tive years of unremitted An Awful Thing In the Mono. Cincinnati Saturday Night J It was at a church oyster suppor: the merriment was at its height, when sud eniy an appallm? shriek from the pastor s study (tho kitchen) rent the air. Confusion worse oonfonndc.l reigned supreme, when a bevv of erst- line ueauties rushed irantica v with disheveled hair and distorted features into the room. "What is it? what is it? eagerly demanded the trembling guests. "This is the matter." said ono of tho girls, who. moie bold than tho rest, had forked out of the soup a slimy iiung, wnu n sue pore gallautlv aloft I his awful thing was in the soup." It was an oyster. Krllraorthe Confederacy. Chicago Herald.l The records division of the war de portment has recently come into pos session of an old scrap book con taining many curious relics of war times. Among the evidences of how the Confederates were some times pressed for supplies of differ ent kinds there are to be found in this scrapbook pieces of newspapers printed on the back of wall paper, also Confed erate bonds printed on the same sort of paier, while there also tome samples of state bonds printed on common brown wrapping paper. the paternal kettle that inntteringiy hurled cascades of scum into the ashes. "Come now i anion him aud em brace him, the poor child ; he won't do so onv more." sold a young peosaut, fruit-seller at Montrouil, and sister of the irritob!e cook. Mortha that was her name had come to Versailles under pretext of consulting her brother about some matter or other, but really to bring kisses and peaches for her nephew, of whom she wai extremely fond. Everything obout the child's character and oppearonce justified this extraordinary onection; for he was franksome and turbulent, but good, sensible and charnling, charming! one could not refrain from eating w.tu kisses his pretty cheeks, fresher ond redder than his aunt's peaches. But Pere Lazare continually grumbled "Six years I" he would say, "and he don't know how to skim a pot! I con never make anything out of that child!" i other Lazare. you see, was one of those steadfast and fanatical cooks,' that consider their trade the chief of all, as an art, as a cult whose hands are fiercely posed on tlioir carving-knives like that of a pasha on his yatagan ; who luck a goose with the solemn air of a uerophont consulting the sacred en trails, who beat au omelette with the majesty of Xerxes whipping the sea; who whiten under the immemorable cotton cap, and who will hold on to the leg of a stove, dying, as the' soy the Indian devotees hold on to tho tail of a cow. There ore no longer any such men. As for Martha, the fruit-woman, she was a good and simple creature, so good that she was not foolish, as they usu ally say, but, on the contrary, spiritu elle. Yes, she found ever in her heart touching and passionate ways of speak ing, that M. de Voltaire himself, greot man in those days, nover found under his perunue. There are still such women. "Brother," said she, moved and weep ing almost at seeing her little Lazare. "you know that big trunk you found so commodious lor packing up the table- service, and which I refused to sell to you? I will give it to you if yon wisn. "I will still give 10 pounds, as be lore. "Brother, I want moro." lonie! m pounds, 10 sous, and enough said. un i i exnetfuore yet. It is a treos ure which 1 wish!" Pere Lazare koked fixed at his sister, as if to see if she were not gone mad. "Yes," continued she, "I want my little Lazare home and mine all alone. From this evening, if you consent, the irunn is yours, oi d I take tho littln fl low to juontreuil." Mortho's brother objected somewhat, iur at mo ouuoiu ne was a good man ana a good rather; but the boy in liti gation cansed him to hove, as ho pi, pressed himself, so much bad blood and so many paa sauces ! Martha's in stances were so lively and, moreover, ineirunK in question was so suitable ioruoiuing tne silverware! at last he yieiuea. t ome, my child, come ?" snid Araf y - as she dragged the little Lazare toward her cart, "you will fare better with me among my apples, which you eat with o uku icuoure, man in the society of your father's roasted goose. Poor uoyiyou woum hove perished in that smoke. Look now," added she with naive fright, "my violet bouquet, a mo- mem ugo so iresn, is already withered! Come on, qnick-if your father should recall his words aud wish you back!" And she dragged off her prey so fast that the passers-by would have taken ) " ior uer uecent appearance and the free and gny oir of her young com panion, for a genuine kidnaper. The aunt's first care, after seeing her young nephew installed in her liouse wos to teach him to reod-what Father Lazare hod never thought of; for totally devoid of education, the brave man knew Lot its value, ond would hove been greatly astonished. I swear to you if one had informed him that one of the feathers he had so heedlessly Kui'kfd from a goose's wing, fallen into skillful fingers, could overturn the world. Little Lazwe learned rapidly and with so much ardor that his instructress first had ortn ix.. the book and say: "Enough, my angel, enough for to-dnv; g0 plav now; be cood and tho best vou can." in.l , ttonid ride horseback 1 within the house or before the door' o stick between bis lees. Sometime, n, innocent steed I seemed to take the bit in his teeth - "Mon Dieu, Mon Dieu ! hQ will fall, would crv th m,.i r-.i.- followed tho esquire with her eyes; lut she soon saw him f.-.n,n guide, spur bis brnnm-Vt ,, .11' the dexterity and self-possession of an old witch, and. reassured, she smiled down upon h;m from her window like ' 'iirn,1'?-m the lBltof her balcony. llus bellicose instiuct but augnieut-d with age. So much so that t mi- was named unanimously general in-chief by half of the playfellows of MontreuiL who were then divided into twn contending for the possession of a black bud s nest Useless it is to say that he justified this distinction by prodigies 6f oddrefs and valor. They pretend that he succeeded in winnine four ba tl , one day, an unheard of feat in military annals. Xapoleon, himself, never reached but just to three. But his high rank and rictories did not render Lazare prouder than before, and ti- morning thecustomary filial kiss snumjed tnrv - . . i i my white piumei They answered that a plume wus not worn there, and one could not, without insult to tne t rench colors, plant them in a like breach, so thut the poor general broke his com mander's baton over a mutineer's back, and went home soil ond dejected as the English when they landed nt Dover oftor the battle, of Fontenoy. This name recoils a circumstance I wonld be wrong to omit. A poor old soldior who come from time to tune to Martha's house to smoke his pipe in the chimney . i i. M.:ii. - corner, and warm u s m-nm uu a glass of cherry bounce, hod not for cotten to relate at length how he ami P. ... 1 - . 1-1 i f Marshal Hose liau won mo ceieuiaieti( battlo. I leave you to tluiiK whether this inaccurate but warm recital could have influenced the imaginntiou of the young listener. I row that time, asleep or nwake, he heard without cessation the horses striving against the curb, the bullets whistling and tho cannons ronr- ing; and more than once, alone in his little room, he thought himself on actor in the grand military drama. Then vou should hove seen nun stamp, leap aud cry. "lire first, Messieurs les Anglais! Marshal, our cavalry has been repulsed! The enemy's column is unshotterable! Forward the king's guards! Tif! paf! boom! boom! Bravo! the English square is broken ! The victory is ours ! Long live the king!" Poor Lazaro believed himself at least esquire of Louis XV., or colonel. Such an exhibition doubtless .makes you laugh ! It would hove been a miracle, would it not, if the fruit woman's nephew had risen so high? Yes: but remember that we approach 1789, an epoch fruitful in miracles. Listen : Lazare first entered the 1 rench guards, despite his aunt's tears, whom he endeavored on parting to console with his caresses, and soon became sergeant- Then the ace marched onward, ond the fortune of many sergeants also. In brief, from grade to grade, he be came guess colonel. There were no longer any colonels. The king s e mery. There no longer was any king. You cannot guess. Well, Lazare, the rook's son, Lazare, the fruit-woman's nephew, became a general ; no more a make- believe general with a paper hel met, but ccneral for trnoil with a I n O 1 ----- plumed not end a coat laced with gold; general-in-chief, general of a great French array, nothing otherwise; and, if you doubt it, open the modern his tory, and there you will read with emo tion the beautiful and grand feats of Gen. Hoche. Hoche was the family name of Lazare. Let us hasten to say to his praise, that his victories, this time so serious, left him as modest and as good as his infantile victories at Montreuil. So, when on a review dav he passed at full gallop along his army's front, there was yet at a win dow neor by a fine old woman, who covered the splendid generol with her eyes breathless from pleasure and fear, and repeating as twenty years ber ore, "Mon Dieu, mon Dieul He will fall!" As for the crumbier cook of Versailles he wos there, too, aston ished at having given a hero to the country, repeating with a certain air of sufficiency to those who felicitated him thereupon : " You don't know how much trouble I had to raise that bov! Just imagine, citoyens, at 6 years o( oge be coidd not skim a pot." Kemarkabte Death From Fright. London Globe.1 The most remarkable death from tho accident of fright was that of the Dutch pointer Pentmon, in the seventeenth century. He wos at work on a picture in which were repre sented several doath's-hennV crin- ning skeletons ond oth er nliidcts calculated to inspire the beholder with a contempt for the vanities unit fnllinH of the day. In order to do his work better, he went to on anatomical room and used it as a studio. On nlt,rv day, as he was drowing those melan choly relics of mortality by which he was surrounded, he foil off intn a nniot sleep, from which he wos suddenly aroused. Imagine his hnrrnf or hp- holding the skulls and bones dancing around him like mad, and the skeletons wuicn nung from the ceiling dashing themselves tosrethor. 1 lie rushed from the room and throw himself headlong from the window on the pavement below u recovered to learn that the couse of his fear was a slight earthquake, but his nervous system had received so severe o shock that he died in a few dayj. Karape rrom Editorial tatiflness. "Uatli's Letter." The first person article, which has spread all over tho press, began in The London Illustrated News, with George Augustus Sola. The next appearance was in The Washington Evening Star, called "Gadabout's Column," nine years ago The New York Star then published "The Man About Town," by Mr. Ackermann. The Tribune about the same time published "Johnnv Bon qnet," and followed it with "The Broad way Note-book." A few weeks after the latter began all the newspapers fol lowed soil. The stiffness of editorial comment is thus thrown off, and direct responsibility evaded. Opt ns a door in heaven - From skirs of (la s ' A J arob's-'a ider fall On grwuiiijj gm. And o er the mountain walls 1 oung anj-eli pass. Tennyson's 1 1,000 poem.