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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 16, 1884)
EUGENE. CITY GUARD. I. li. CAMPBELL. . . Proprietor. EUGENE CITY. OREGON. AWAITING THE CONQUEROR. Arthur liuh Clouch.l Uoe evermore and believe, O man, for e'er. I thy thought Bo are tho things that thou went; e'en ai thy hoie ami belief. Cowardly ait thou ami tlmMf They rise to provoke thee ngainst them. Host thou roitrni't Enough: toe them ex ulting to yield. Yea, the rnn.'h rock, the dull earth, the wild sea's f ut vinjf waters, (Violent, say'st thou, ami harkl Mighty, thou ihiuk'st, to dmtroyf) All, with iin-lTuble loughi);, are waiting their invader; AH, with ono varying voice, call to him, "Come and iiI1uh.v' Btill for th'.ir cowpioror call, and but for tho Joy of being conquered (Rapture they will not forjjo) dare to resist and ri'li-1. Btill while nn.htlnj and ruglnj, In noft under tone bay unto him: "Fear uot, r-tli-e nut, O uiao; hope ever more and believe. Oo fnmi the eatt to the wont, as the tun and the stain dliect th e, With the (treat girdle of Ood, go and en Couisus the eaith." TREATMENT OF CRIMINALS. Heme Mocaestlonm from llamanl tarlao View ol the Kolijrrt. "Pickaway" In Cincinnati Eniiuirer. In tho penitentiary liow many crimi n: In bus tlio state rocluimod and soft ened by wise and humane treatment? The busy, practical, mailing, scram bling average citizen, who give littju thought to tlicso rjtiostions beyond pay ing and cursing hi taxes, Mill any that there should bo no sentimental nou aeme in theso matters. If tho Htitte shelters and fooils the unfortunate and keeps tho criminal safely until he serve Lis scntonco it has dono all that could be expected. Hut it hasn't. The object of these itiHtitutionn Hhould bn to dimin ish vice und crime, and if this can bo done by the expenditure of tho samo amount of money, the tax-payer and the citizon has a right to expect these rosulU, and intelligent elTorts should be mode by the legislature to bring them about. Crime ought to bo Ire .tod as a dis ease, and the man who lias committed a crime ought to bo taken chargo of by the state, and retained until ho is cured. The criminal ought uot to le sentenced for any specific, time, but ought to be retained until in the judgment of the authorities ho may be permitted to make a trial of life, but he ought to lie lacc4 under police supervision and at the slightest infraction of law ho ought to le returned to the prison. Citizen ship ought not to be restored to him until ho has shown tluit.he is lit to be come a citizen, tt'id he inu,l have spent at least two years outside of tho walls without complaint heforo society agaiu receives him buck at a citizen. The convict contract system ought to Imi abolished, and all industries, in the prison ought to be under the control of state authorities and uot of outsiders. Prisoners ought not to be placed upon exhibition at twenty-live ccuts a head for visitors. Every prisoner ought to lmvo on in terest iu his lalmr. If ho has a family a portion of his work ought to go to tho support of his children. K he has no one dependent upon him, his wages should llrst be used to defray tho expense of his conviction, and then to mako reparation to those he has wronged. Japanese Marred l4are. (Japan Cor. Tlinca-Dmuocrat. Then tliore is tho temple for sacred dances. It was raining as we passed the door, and looking in we porouivod a forlorn-looking princess sitting uHn the floor, a la Japanais. Him was pow dered until her face and shoulders were deathly white. I shall never forget her weary, lifeless look, or the shudder that I experienced when I thought how doaoluta and lonely aha must be. ISho was evidently consumptive, for she coughed frequently while we were there. The oll'oct of her haggard features was heightened by a white turban and flow ing white r olios. . Wethrowherauouple ef temps, ami wearily rising, she pro ceeded to perform what is kuown as tha sacred dance. It was a strange exercise, and iu can dor I must say w as not calculated to beget irreverence. In fact it was hardly worthy of the name dance so mourn fully spiritual it was. Slowly rising, she poised a rod of sacred bells over her bowed head, and without any other accompaniment begun a slow, measured walk about the tiny room, describing a -circle for the most part, but nover onco deviating from tho solemulv graceful movement. It was all simplicity, and lasted not more than a minute. Every fold in ner roues was reflected as per foctly by the lacquered Hoor as it could have been by the finest mirror. Slowly sinking to the floor, she bowed her pale face three times, and the spir itual entertainment was at an end. The temples in general are of unfath omable interest There are huge, hideous idols, before which suHtrsti tious Datives are timorously standing, and casting paper wads with pctitioua printed thereoit at the images, in the hope that the material may adhere to the same, which tokens favorable answer to the prayer. The mora ugly and abnormal those statues, tho mere tho religious pilgrims seem to hold them in reverence. Taint a deccut-looking face green and iU inter est for these jHople is immediately enhanced. A lllat la llanSkrreklrr. IChicago Tiumw. A patriotic manufacturer at Ilouen has designed some handkerchiefs for the purpose of diffusing military kuowl fdge. They are printed on linen in in destructible black. The iu'ormation was compiled by two officer of high position; and U'sides comprising a com plete, system of drill, valuable hygienic information is given, and all sorts of instruction apjwar as to the liest means of rendering assintauoo to the wounded, and how to help a comrade homo who is injured, (ireat personal cleanliness is enjoined, and sound advice given as to hunger, thirst, sleeping, marching, etc. TEE BOY IN THE APPLE TEE! The Mtorjr af the 0:4 - Klenirutsrr Mpelllng.Book" Ite vamped la Halt the Times. Louisville Courier-Journal. A Brood old m in, buinz down town one vening, was invited to loin the Hum mi tartan Fudjjcr. lie was delighted, and lie joined. Next day, while in his gardeu. ho discovered a boy in bis apple tree. Here was an optxirtunity for showing his ii"lt;b bora how important a tiling Is humanitarian fudgo, "See," he says, "how readily 1 shall subdue this wicked boy with humanity!' Bo his neighlxini all gathered at the fem-e, and looked through the crack. "My good boy!" cried the good old man, "if you will come down from that tree I'll give you a great big piece of cakel" "O'heesu it, cully! W'hatter yu givln' mf" ro.urned the boy, who always umd good language, because his parents were both resiKv-table. The neighbors behind the fence tlttero L " Come now, you know how wicked it is to steal! ikliall have to tell your lather If you don't get down I" " He'll call you a liar, old chap, if you do. You'd better go iu the house." The neighbors tittered again. The good old man began to lose his tcmr. ileal ly, boy, I shall have to throw some. thing at you if you don't come down!" "Throw and be darned! you old fool I I ain't a feared o' you!" retorted the boy, nau iiliig another apple. " Haw, haw!" now shouted the neighbors. Here the good old man, quite angry, grasped a handful of grass and hurled it at the boy. " Haw, haw, bee, haw!" yelled the asinine neighbors. " Fire away oil Btick in-the-mud!" cried the boy. The old man was red hot, and tome of the neighbors had nearly split themselves. "You yourg scoundrel!" ho shouted, seizing a big stick of hickory stove wood, "if you don't come down this instant HI bust you, you in femul little beast!" Aud without giving the boy a chance to reply, the good old man sent the cudgel flying. It grazed the urchin sear. He dropped his apple, and as the good old man reached for another club, tho youm: rnvs-al howled: "Oh, Lordy, mister, If you'll ouly let 1110 come down, I'll pay for these apples, I will Oh, Lordy!" Down he came, and the neighbors, by Instantly leaping the fence, previ nlel t' e good old man from killing the child on the spot. The good old man doesn't go down town any more, When I'rorlor Knott Joked a iiermaa Colonel. Milwaukee Rentinel.1 In the fall of INK) Knott, then residing in Missouri, was elected attorney general ou the Clalliorne Jackson ticket When Frank Blair seized tho state of Missouri in Wfll, he sent old Col. liornstein, at the head of two German regiments from HU Louis, to take possession of JofTorsoii City. Bortuteln wai a rovolu tiouist of '4S and a native of Hiwse-CawieL At his approach, Clalb Jackson fled to Neosho, accompanied by all the state ofllcert except Knott aud one other. As soou as Iioruxteiu had established himself in potsoNsion, with headquarters at the state, house, be sent a corporal and file of men to collect those frag. uieuts of the state government which Jack son iu his basts had left behind. The cor poral collected our J. I'roctor along with the other fragments, and marched him up to ncailquartcrs, where liornstein, in full regi mentals, with sword ami pistol by his side and seated in the great chair of the chief jus tice, received him. When Knott was pre- sented to him, UorusU'lu began a speech as follows "Mr. Addorney Khcucral, der rusoluslon ish now gomblede. I)t-r moderial oaf der shtade gutrcrmeut ish now in undisputed pos session oaf der dhrooiis oaf der Uuidod Hhtatos, I am embowered to effect a reorgan. tuition oaf der slitate gufTerment Uxm der basis or tier institutions for which our foro- fuders blet and died " "Allow me to Interrupt you, colonel," Knott tin ke In suddenly. "Certainly," said I) rnstoJu, with enormous gravity. "I merely desire to conserve the accuracy or history," observed Knott "You observe, colonel, that the context of your remark would load to the inference that your fore fathers and niine fought shoulder to shouldor iu that conflict liut if you will refer to any rename account or Ilciiuington, or Trenton. or l'l-incuton, you will find them represented as fncing each other on those Selds." "(Jorponil," replied liornstein, sadly, "dhake dot man avay; eshcrt hilu bv the house vere ho lives, uud blace him under guard until furderorUirs." Knott says that he has never since ventured iiisin a joke at Uie eiismse of a (Knuau. particularly if he was a native of UuufCas- tcJ. "Xaaby'a" Way of Work. John Swtutou. I have not seen Nasliy in Now York for some nicsijlw. 7 here's an odd follow for vou. He eu work harder and steadier, both at a a demijohn aud a ty n- writer, than any other -literary toner m me country. lie never travels without lsth the artiil as his side oomiianlons. His method is to hire a whole wVtiou of a rullman, have the curtains drawu and the tables set up, and piooeed to buslueKS with the type-writer on top of the table and the jug under neath, lie takes a drink to a page, and his rAgorness for the jug make him rush off the jsigu at a very lively gait Nashy's face looks like the moon In-fore a storm, and his garments look like a second hand store after a cyclone. He thinks whisky heaven's beat gift to man. For tome years past he has been traveling abroad getting material for a history of the world. It will be sold by the conL He has made a great deal of money, and through prudently buying his liquor at wholesale and selling it to himself at retail he has amassed a fortune by saving the balance. He is short, fat and 50, and be smokes 5-cent cigars wbeu he can get seven of thew for a quarter. Aaerdote ef llrary Irving, Exchange. McKee IUnkln recently related the follow ing auecdot about Henry Irving, the English actor: It was some years ago, when Mr. Ir ving was called in Dublin to play a heavv part to wmcn ne was not accustomed. A poor devil of an actor had got drunk, aud there was a vacancy. Irving had to come on early In the first act Itop, the Dublin gallery boy is an institution to himself. There is nothing like him anywhere, so tar as I know. Conversation between young fol low acroM from one title of the gallery to the other are spoken in loud tones and iu the distinct hearing of the actors. Irving is very thin, and wben he appeared with a stride, which is one of the nut charaetorutio things about him, one of the gallery boy ihouted arrow to another: "Say, an' is that himl I dont know." "No," was tlie renlv. 'them is the young man' clothes; thev'U there him out later ox" Irving tol l me the tory himself, and he laughed heartily as be remembered the details. Iletrl Alarm. Some friend of mankind has invented a Ud-room alarm by which the clerk in the office can wake a guet any hour without ending a stalwart porter to sJaj m the eutire hall. TIIK .M'V'LS WAT .S7.lt, A New York Ixsusellur givt?s t'. following iuforuistion on fashion Ixxiks: "At present the most iptiliir Amer 1 i- TI - T 1 11' lean novens s are jh-ui.y nii n umi D.' Howells. Their Isxiks sell by tl thousands. Of the two, James is a trille the more popular. His Toitnut of Ladv.' which made his reparation nn his fortune at the same time, sells very ranidlv to voting men who wear dog' collars and attenuated boots, and to voting Indies with similar pioclivitu llis last book. 'Tho hiege of Loudon judged by the nutiils-r sold, is a decide failure, aud would be an absolute one were it not thut his former reputa' ion serves to buov it up. Howells '.Im era Instance' is at present very salable in fact, it in verv dillicult to keen it in stock, for iIip demand for it is contlna ous. His 'Wedding .iou:ncv is a so popular, and is height by some quce freak, nuunlv beuuse ol its titli newly married people. Mrs. llnrnctt' books sell very well, as do those ol Christian lteid (Miss Fisher), the author of 'Hearts of Steel,' and sev eral other quite rentable, and, what is much more to the purpos, verv salable books. Marion Ilurlnud's an Mrs. E. 1). E. N. Kouthworth's book are bought mostly by circulating libra ries, and are hi, read among tho ruu: mg pubic in that way. The English are the most popular novelists, licyond them all, in point of number of hooks sold, stands ill ium Ulack. His novels sell by tl hundreds of thousands. His list book 'Hhaudon Hells,' has not sold as we as his former ones, but it is ncvprthe less very popular. Thomas Hard and Sirs. Alexander ore both writers of salable books, and many are tl editions they have given to tho read ing world. Zola is as popular as ever ho was, and his books are read by all classes of persons and by both sexi Of all his books, 'Nana' is perhaps the most popular. Among dead novelists Dickens slam foremost. Tho number of his book that are sold is ever on the increase and although edition lifter edition has been taken from the proas in this country and m l.ligland, 'Pickwick and 'Curiosity Shop' are still read by all classes with mingled laughter am tears. 1 lie copyrights for the earlier of his novels have expired, but h family still receive quite an important income, from tho sale of his later works. Next to Dickens, vet ranking al most beside him, is Tlinckerav. II TendouniB, 'owcomes, and 'Lsmoni are bought as eagerly as ever. Of all the works of women writers those of 0 cor go Eliot sell the best. 'Itomolu is just at present tho most popular but Daniel Deronda, despite all pro dictions to the contrary, holds its ow as one of tho most populur books o tho century. Charles Kinirslcv still lives to his reader, and 'Hvpatiu remains his great work iu tho estiuia' turn of our customers. THE PER CENT. OF FIOIITINO 31 EX. Dnier'g History, "As a rule in a well-ordered nrtnv, if Oti per cent, of the men present can be brought into battle it is a good average the other J.J per cent, are employed as cooks, teamsters, nurses, servants, ore sick, on furlough, detiichod. Then the men reported as 'absent' to guard ti ers, depots, prisons, railroad stations r.scorts iniiKe me roarmi l dunks in every regiment and atilslivision of th army. During our war at tu time do I think one-half of the men receiving pay were engaged with the fighting armies at tho front, and this half was subjected to the farther diminution of tho J3 per cent, before mentioned, so that of an army whoso muste .rolls wou1,1 Bive 100,000 men present and ab H,ml for I.,av uo geueral could expect to bring into battle at any distance from his base of supplies more ithau 35,(HMJ men. Hv way of illustration I take the coao aftlie close of the war, whim for the first timo we got at the real facts and figures. One million and fifty thonsaud were then on the muster rolls to bo paid oil audi dis charged. Ibe fighting armies Iwere but '2t'2,000 men. Where were all the rest I tttiarding thousands of miles of sea coast, river and roads, guarding prisoners and acting as provost guards or l(,"tiK about tho country I dit not mention this as a criticism, but to show how in war such vast expense do alrise. ami bow often tho country overV-sti mates tno exact strengtu ox armies from tho official returns." 'At no single time," believes this general, whom we suppose to be Slier man, "were 50 per cent, of the Inen drawing pay ns soldiers within striking distance of the enemy. To which cause may be traced some of the w orst fail tiros, when tho government and the lH)plo Whind pushed their oflioers on, supposing that figures could handle muskets aud fight battles, ' m:xn r j.ivks, tjik xo ye list. "(lath's" Newport Letter. At tno lioston tram, when we were entering the town, a person of rather robust size, weariug a bluish gray suit and wttn blockish side whiskers, began to speak to a ludy in tho most ultra awfully awful west end of London style. The first word ho got out of his month was invariably a stutter, and he stumtdiM on as if biting r.t his sen tences. When he had passed out my friend remarked to me : "Whom do vou suspect that to be?" Said I: "It might lo Lord Mandevillo, or it might lie his valet." "No," said he, "that is Henry James, the author." HOSPITABLE JIOAD AGKXTS. Helena Era. The road agents who robUnl the coach last Sunday, si is the custom, ranged the men in line with hands ur. and relieved them of all their valua bles. They then passed a bott'.e of whisky and box of cigars, compelling each one to take a drink and smoke. One of tho unfortunates had never smoked a cigar in his life, but under the lH'rsnasive and urgent invitation of the gentlemanly robbers he lit his first cigar, and possibly the pleasure he will derive in the future from stuokinir will compensate for the loa he sustained. DA3GEE TEOM ELECTRIC LIGHT. The Elcetrle Carreat HeatlagWIre t W hite llat-..Deata la the ( era Bolt Cincinnati Commercial Gaaette. Beware of the electric light wire as you woulil or the loblierwock. One I lust as mysteriously torrible a the other. " John," the janitor and champion wrestler of the gymnasium, got an electric scare the other day that he has not yet recovered from. It was during the rainy spell. In the midst of ono of the heaviest shower he was seized with astonishment on seeing that the electric light wire running from boutiHier roof at the rear into the gymnasium was ou fire, as he expressed it A telephone message for help wai at once sent to the office of the brush Electric Light company, and in the meantime John undertook to drown out the Are. Ho got on the roof, aud standing three feet from the wire, which was In a white ' heat, he ladled a cup of water from a pall and threw it upon the radiant metal There was "sizz," and John avers that some of the water splashed on his arm, sending a shock through bim that would have laid out any less athletio individual He then moved three feet farther back, and from there played fireman. There really appeared Un mineut danger of the roof catching fire, as the wire, near where it was heated, passed through the wooden frame of a skylight Wben the expert from the Brush company arrived, be donned a pair of rubber gloves, and standing on a dry board he cut tho wire In two. The electric light people affect to think little of such an occurrence, but several scientific neoole. to whose attention it has boon brought, say that it is but a warning of a terrible accident that will one day happen. The workmen who came to the relief of John at the gymnasium say that the wire got bcatod because of striking against a piece of tin, thus forming a "ground." He admits that had the wood been wet-thin making a good conductor a fire would probably have occurred. The officials of the Brush Electric Light company claim that they cover their wires with the best insulating material known, but outside electricians say that the insulation is exceedingly poor and that the least rain affects it Buch an enormous current Is employed to generate the Brush electric light that to pass it through the human body mean death as instantly as by heaven's bolt It will be re membered that two weeks ago the superin tendent of the company at Dayton who, of course, was thoroughly posted as to the torri ble danger-was killed as by a flash In taking hold of a wire. He was fixing a lamp, aud to save it from falling be thoughtlessly grabbed the wire. It had been raiuing, and the current passed right through him. The firemen are more afraid of the electric light wires than they are of fire itself. 8o far the accidents that have happened In this Hue In Cincinnati, while they have been startling, have not been fatal. It has often happened that an electric light wire in cross ing a telephone wire has formed a connection in wet weather, resulting in melting the machinery of oither the instrument at the subscriber's or at the exchange sometimes both. An accident of this kind happened a few days ago on Race street causing the sub scriber of the telephone to call out theflro department. What would have happened bad that current, which was urtleleut to melt bras, got inside a man's ear? Frequently the attention of passers-by is attracted to a sark emitted from one of the electric light wires running across Fifth aud Vine streets. lie Wasn't llrr Pa. Chicago Tribune. A young woman went to the station to meet her father. As the train came in the saw a middle-aged man who resembled ber parental relative, and the rushed into his arms, huddled down on his bosom, kissed him on the month, the ear, the chin, and all ver his patent celluloid. It was not her father, but a middle-aged traveler for a tobacco house. He took a long breath, and looked around at some other travelers and winked, as much as to say: "0, I'm such a masher!" Of course the scene could not last forever, though he wished it could. After a spasmodic hug she looked up in bis face and shrieked, "You are not my pal" He said she was right She asked his pardon, and be told her not to nieution it 'We public men should always hold ourselves in readiness to support those who need it" i She smiled a sweet sad, blushing smile, and went out into the wide world, while tpo traveler walked to the hotel with the others. They asked bim if it didn't make him feel ashamed to have such a mistake made, and he said no, it was all right He said of courso it might look queer, but those things occurred very often with him, as it would occur with any Aue looking man. Besides, the girl pro bable enjoyed it , Then they asked bim why he did not wear nls aiamond breastpin on sucu trying occa sions. He looked at ms sbirt trout, and it was gone. While he bad been allowing her to play the daughter she bod burglarized his shirt He fatutcd, and when they brought him to he said: "Tell my family I died with my race to the roe." A Rural Reporter en the Red Demon. Somerset, (Penn.,) IIerald.1 There is no more torrible cry than that of 'Itrel" ringing out on the startled ear 6f night; even murder, with all its hideous as sociations, does not arauso us to sympathy or to action as does the alarm that the red demon, Are, is loose in our midst, licking up the prido of luxury, the fruit of toil, the scrapings of averioe, and the saving of years, tsucn was the cry that startled the inhabitants of our village on Friday mornliiE at 8:40 o'clock. The alarmed citizens, men, women and children, youth and age, wit and beauty, strength and weakness, hurried to the scene, and found that J. K. t'offroth's stable was on fire. A valuable cow was dragged seemingly dead from the flaming budding but afterwards recovered. float Ins llreakwatera. San Francisco Chronicle. Floating breakwaters have been adopted in England with good results. The breakwater. or turn water, consists of a line of buoys of triangular shape, with a sharp point towards the sea and two concave sides. The boovs are moored independent of each other by an anchor fore and aft and with a buoy's space between them. They draw ten f jet of water and each wave a it meets them is cleft in two and diverted right and left towards the next buoy. The mure violent the sea the more efficient the action ot the buoys. It has been demonstrated that it is ouly the upper ten or fifteen feet of water that needs to be affected, for all below is calm. A Alabama W edding. Inter Ocean. The bridal march was played by Will Cor ley on an harmonica. The groom was at tired in a hickory stripe shirt and .copperas colored pants, aud on hi arm was gently sus pended his bride, like a clear rib side of ba con or bushel of meal TEE FASTEST POSSIBLE TROTTER. BOW FAST HOR8E8 Wttl CLTtMATELV TROT, AND WHEJT THE MAXIMUM WILL BE BEACHED. V V 1. Q.. Ilotr fast will the fostcst possible trotter go? What is the highesi speed tlmt can ever be attained by the Amen can trotting horse for a distance of one nnle? . , . t i ii Tbooa oro nneshons which two well known scientific men, Prof. William H itu rif f'onrecticut. and JUr. I ran cis E. Xipher, of Missouri, hove lately endeavored to answer in three papers contributed to The American Journal of Science. Tho first of those articles, liv I'rof. lirewer. appeared in April, 'i'l,o contributions of Mr. Xipher are published iu the numbers for July aud August. 1'vnf. Tirewor publishes a table show Intr the number of trotting horses which have attained or surpassed vari ous rates of speed ranging from 2 :30 to 2:11 for a series of years extending from 1813 to 1882. Trom this table it nppears that in 1853 there was only ono horse that had trotted a mile in 2 :30 or better: in 1853 the number had in creased to 14; in 18i3 to C9; in 1873 to 37(1; in 1882 to 1.C84. The table also shows that up to 1882, 4U5 horses had trotted a mile in 2:25 or better; 275 iu 2:23 or better: 156 in 2:21 or better CO in 2 :19 or better; 18 in 2 :17 or bet tor, and 8 in 2:15 or better. "I leavo it to mathematicians," said Prof. Brewer in reference to this table, "to plot the curves which immediately suggest themselves to determine how fast horses will ultimately trot and when this maximum will be reachod." Mr. Xipher has undertaken the task thus suggested, ills first conclusion as stated in tho July number of Tho American Journal of Science, was that the maximum spoed to which the Amer ican trotting horse will constantly ap proximate, but never reach, is one mile in 92 seconds, or 1:32. He also con cludes that the time of the trotting horse will bo reduced to within one second of this figure in 300 years after the year laou, mat is to say, in tue year or our.ijoru am. MI. uipuer uoes a m i. 11 i i r V " . 1 .1 not claim absoluto precision for his re suits, and says that the maximum speed may possibly be as great as 1LHJ seconds In the course of ten years, however, ho thinks the limit can be fixed with accuracv, and he is quite sure that eventually the maximum speed of trotting and running horses will differ only by a few seconds. in Ins last article Mr. rupnor states that he has made a new calculation by mathematical instead of graphical methods, and has thus obtained 81 sec onds instead of 93 seconds as tbe most probable figures for the minimun timo of trotting a mile. The probable error of this value, he says, is not over four seconds, and it is not likely that the running lion-e will cut his record down bv rive seconds, bo that it is probablo the trotter will finally surpass the run ning horse. If this prediction is verified, the in habitants of the United States in the twenty-third century will have horsos that can get over the ground by means of an artificial gait faster than by a natural gait. We believe that nil writers agree that running is natural to horses, while fast trotting is not. Mr. Xipher states, however, as a well-known fact that some herds of wild horses on the plains were natural pacers, so fast and steadv that thev nearly all pre served their pacing gait even when pur sued by the best running horses. He speaks of one large white Texan pacer that never could be caught. Aa I'BHtealable I'mbrella. There is, it seems, says The New York Sun, an umbrella that can not bo stolen. A genius has invented a de tachable handlo, upon withdrawing which the ribs are automatically locked, Replacing it unlocks them. Xo two handles fit the same umbrella. A TOOTHSOME MOBSEL This, from the Madison ( Wis.l Democrat. conveys Its own moral: Hold on! We are cognizant of the fact that an aching tooth was last night cured by the application of t. Jacousun. the young fellow got mad over his raging tooth in the ball room, and rushed straightway to a drug store where he applied the good old German Remedy; iu ifii iiuiiuies i ne looinacne naa gone. Hob Ingersoll says Arthur Is an Impossi bility as a Presidential candidate. "We always keep Piso's Cure for Con, sumption in the house." Louise Michel is writing children's sto rles while in prison. THE BILIOUS, Dyspeptic or constipated, should add with two stamps for pamphlet. World's i;isi-ksary iUEUlCAL ASSOCIATION, Buf falo, X. Y. Luther Ilolden, of Wallingford, Vt., celebrated his lWd birthday recently. Mr. Oliver Myers, of Ironton, 0., savs: "Samaritan Nervine cured me nf m.n. eral debility." For a COturll or cold there equal to Ammen's Cough Syrup. The complicated intense study, thought, care, anxiety, etc., are often of tho most serious nature. Ileed such symptoms as loss of memory, universal lassitude, heart dixpnu. HH,,.; complaints, liver troubles and a general nreaKing down of health and strength. hen thus alllicted. w hen the leant tion causes great fatigue, w hen life seems a burden, uxe the reliable strengthening tonic. Brown's Iron Bitters. It w ill afford you sure relief. "Dr. Pierce's Mamie! if VIabK. Tmu" I. ,l.a.t I.. - l . . . . "'""ner column oi tins pa per, rins establishment is well known on the Pacific Coast as reliable and square in all its dealings. Their goods have giined an enviable reputation. The latest Chieniro l,nn.,l tn Irving was given by Emory Storrs. If you feel dull, d mv dnltilitntuil L.-. frequent headache, mouth tastes bad, poor appetite, tongue coated, vou are sulleriiic from torpid liver or "biliousness." Xoth ing w ill cure you so speedily and perma nently as Dr. Pierce's "Golden Medical Discovery." By all druggists. Fulton Market in Xew York uIU in rn OiX) pounds of fish and reject 8,UUi,0ub an nually. Pufardin's Life Essenc Skinny Mk.n. "Wells' Health Renewer" restores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia, Impotence. Hall's Pulmonary Balsam, the Curat Couoh Kkvedy, never foils to do the WOT" , Mr. Samuel II. Pouder, Sheriff of Wash Ington county, Tenn., says: "Brown's Iron Bitters entirely cured me of dyspepsia of three years standign." Mrs. Governor Moody, upon her re turn fromSuH Fraaciseo, brought with her a magnificent grand square piano to adorn the mansion house. The instrument is a Knnle, and does full credit to that cele brated make. With such an agency to in vite the Muses, the Governor should hence forth lie only ."moody" in name. The Ore gon Statesman. ; j , , Dr. A. T. Henak, Garfield, Iow a, says: "Once using Brown's Iron Blttere proves its superiority over all other tonic prepara tions. There Is snow to the depth of five feet In the Ctt'ur d'Alene mines. Who has not seen the fair, fresh young girl transformed in a few months into the pale, hivggard, dispirited, woman? The sparkling eyes are dimmed, and the ringing laugh heard no more. Too often the causes are disorders of the system which Dr. Pierce's "Favorite Prescription" would remedy in a short time, ltemember that the "Favorite Prescription" will un fallingly cure all "female weaknesses, and restore health and beauty. By all druggists. Send three stamps for Dr. Pierce's treatise on Diseases of Women (00 pages). Address World's Medical Asso ciation, Buffalo, X. Y. The Spectator printing office, at Hamil ton, Out., was burned recently. "It quiets the patient and ultlnintcly cures him." A late enconium on Samar itan Nervine. Brown's Bronchial Troches for Coughs and Colds: 'There is nothing to be com pared with thcin."-Ecv. 0. D. Watkius, Walton, Ind. "Motuer Swan's Worm Syrup," for feverislmess, restlessness, worms, consti pation tasteless. 25 cents. Portersville, Cal., April 10, 1882. Mr. Robt. S. Ammen Sir: I have been selling your valuable Cough Syrup for tho last twelve months. The past winter we had the worst epidemic of measles, whooping couch and colds I ever saw. Ammen's Cough Syrup sold better than any cough medicine I had iu the house. Expect to always keep a good supply in my store. uespecuuiiy yours, P. F. Chapman, Druggist. Caloric Vita Oil, the renowned healer, at wholesale. Hodge, Davis & Co., Portland. "Rough on Coughs." 15c.. 25c.. 50c., at Druggists. Complete cure Coughs, Hoarse ness, Sore Throat. Strength for the weary Dujardin's Life Essence. THE GREAT GERMAN REMEDY FOR PAIN. Believes and cures RHEUMATISM, Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago, BACKACHE, HEADACHE, TOOTHACHE, SOBE THROAT, t QUINSY, BWELLINOa PttAINS, Soreneii, Cuts, Brulttt, FROSTBITES, ' BCBNS, SCALDS, ' And all other bodily aches and pal at. F1FTT CENTS A BOTTLE. toldbyall Druntstsairt Stolen. Dlrectloos la 11 language. 26 Th Charts A. Vegtler Co. Miti vooilss a oo.) BiltlMn, , C.S.A. The necessity for prompt and ef ficient household remedies is daily 'growing more im perative, and of these HoHtctter's Stomach Hitters is the chief in merit and the most pop ular. Irreirularitv i of the stomach and bowels, mala rial fevers, liver complaint, debili ty, rheumatism and minor ail ments, are thor oughly conquered by this incompar able family restor ative and medicin al infominpil .nj it Is justly regarde i as the purest and moet com- f rehensive remedy of its class. For sole by all iruinrints and Dealers generally. CAITIOX. Swift'l Siuclfle la .ntlr.1. . ..'.i ndihoullii,ibeol)nfounlll with th.TaiioiTlubi.ul tutea, imitations, nnn-ieeret humbug, "Buccm Alter am, eto., etc., whirs are now twin, manafactuieU by janoui persona J,,.n, of thew contain a ln(le article which enters into the composition of 8. 8 B. There U on . on. Swift's Hpeclflo and there I. noting in the world like it. To pre.ent disaster and disappointment, be sure to get the genuine. .uiuioui, HwW, Specific Is a complete antidote to Blood Taint. Blood Poison, Malarial I'uison, and Skin Humor. j. iii( smith, M. D., Atlanta. Ga. I hare hail remarkable inmw wit). b.im o . . the treatment of Blood and Skin Diseases, andln Fe male DiiraNS. I ton it mn.ll (.,. , ' happy efleot. D. O. C. Hkkry. M. 1).. Atlanta wed Swift's gneelflc on m. llltl. ,4. i srliicted with some Blood Poison whuTT,. T-m aentlf , and I shall use it in mi practice. w. JS. UaoMTs, M. CrpreM Ridge, Ark. to fEJL'ia8 Bl00d 8tlD DU" mtled SWIFT SPvrTPin nn n .,... New York .flic,. 1W West T S " Norman Stallions! Of the firm of Fairbanki TUlser. has Just returned from France with a osof komian btallheia The ONLY clt.ii.. KJf " '" i'rauc to the VwteL Bellied i,i him with ereat carf mm K. i. ITI! t'l I. T. FAIRBANKS er H.WIL8ET, PETALCMA. CAL. .Potaluma Inoubator ! Gold Medal, Silver Medal and j pl " rremiirm- over other V " U Hatches all kinds of F..-v. ' irwfremiirm-etr others h 1 'ft MMiwUMMM l MM. lira and nervous headaohe. NCl BATOtt, Petals. vura Circulars Fretl