IX BWIMMIXO-TIME.
Jamil W lilU-omr Riley.
Cloud above, a white an wool,
Drifting over skies an blue
Aa the eyes nf beautiful
Children when they smile at you;
Groves of maple, elm, awl beech,
With the sunshine sifted through
Branches, mingling w h with each,
Dim with shale and bright with dew;
Stripling trees, and poplars huar,
Hickory and sycamore,
And the drowsy dogwood bowed
Where the ripples laugh aloud,
And the crooning creek I stirred
To gayety that now
Mates the warblo of the bird
Teetering on the haail-hough;
Onuwf long and fine and fair
As your school-boy sweetheart's balr,
Backward roached and twirled and twined
ty the fingers of the wind;
Vines and nioaon, interlinked
Down dark aisles and deep ravines,
Where the stream rum, willow-briiiked
ftound a Isjnd where some one leant
Faint and vague and IndiHtiiict
Ai the like reflected tiling
In the current shimmering.
Childish voices farther on,
Where the truant stream baa gone,
Vex the echoes of the wood
Till no word in undrirstood,
Have that one la well aware
Happiness ii hilling thorn.
There, in leafy coverts nude
IJttle bodies po-ie and leap,
SpnlterliiK the solitude
Anl the tUenco everywhere
Mimic monsters of the deep I
Wallowing In sandy shoals
Flunking headlong out of light;
And, with spurting of delight,
Clutching hands, and slippery aolna,
Cliniliing up the treacherous steep ,
Over which tlie spring-board spurn
Each again oa be returns,
Ahl Die glorious carnival!
1'urple liM and chattering teeth
Eye that burn but, in beneath,
Every care beyond recall,
Every tank forgotten quite.
And again, In dreams at night,
Dropping, drifting through it all I
PHILOSOPHY OF TUB STOMACH
AM0N0 TUB CITIZENS OF TUB CELESTIAL
EMPIRE.
Pekln Cor. Rt Petersburg Miwoneer.
To le a1lo to eat well nioans, in tlie
Chinamon's opinion, to be happy. AH
iia cares, troubles, and desiros centre
in the same point, namely, good eating.
True, everybody tlie world over, taken
care to satisfy his appetite in tho bost
possiblo way. Hut the Clnnoso dillor
from otlior people in the philosophy of
the nbjoct. They hold that only the
satiated man can be wine, and those who
can not make themselves full are surely
fools. Their most sacred philosophical
and medical treatise deal with the
stomach aa the principal source of the
spiritual, moral and physical lifo of
ri'i - i i i i.: :..: j .
wall, xiju ucuu, luwitur upiiuuu, to ua
poor dependent on the bounty of the
Htomaeh. Not the Load, but the
stomach, ought to bo crowned. Thoy
bold aa a cardinal axiom that tho
stomach is the spring of every thought,
feeling and muscular action. IIo who
does not out loses euergy. Man differs
from wood and stone only becauso be
fills up his stomach. They look upon
Dr. Tanner's forty days' fust as a clover
trick, ibey asHort that tlio American
doctor deceived the public by drinking
some colorless nutritious substances
dissolved in water. Othorwise, they
argue, bo would necessarily turn first
an idiot, and then a oorpso.
When we ponder on sonio difficult
subject we often touch or rub our foro
Lend. Under tlio same circumstances
the Chiuamau puts his fingers below his
1hH. By touching his abdomen ho
facilitates his mental process. In view
of tlio supremacy of the stomach the
Chinese came to the conclusion that the
tatter it is tilled the wiser is its owner;
hence fatness and corpulence are tho
beat mirror of the mind, the best indica
tion of sujierior intellect. And, as
wisdom brings man to a blissful state
and to a heavenly beatitude-, therefore,
the Chinamen regard extraordinary
stoutness as a symbol of tho future
heavenly state.
THE "BILLY THE KID" TYPE.
"J. R. W. II." in Boston Herald.
Let me assuro my younger readers
that there is nothing heroic in the
"Hilly the Kid" typo on the frontier.
The aosjierftdo is too lazy to work for a
living. He is a thief and a cut throat
whenever ho can cut a throat without
foar. Thero are sonio brave men among
them, to bo sure, but their bravery
arises from a consciousness of their
matchless command of their weapons.
They kuow perfectly well that they can
shoot an ordinary man dead beforo his
hand roaches his pistol. Often they
have tho triggers of their Colts'-45 tiled
oft", and lire by snapping the hammer
with tho thumb, whirling the pistols in
their hands and shooting as the weapon
comes to a level. And ther are dead
shots, aa ther need to lie. Yet the "bad
men" who haunt the groggeries with
their weapons ostetitationsly displayed,
who are given to shooting right and
left when drunk, and, indeed, to dis
charging thoir "guns" at all times
these fellows will rarely take tho
chauoos in a fair, stand-up fight. They
wan unm tney can 'got tue urop" on a
man, or shoot him from behind on a
dark uight Don't look for any signs
of chivalry among them. They are the
meanest of all mean brutes, ft is well
that the changes wrought in the west
by the completion of the various rail
roads announce that their race is nearly
run. Hut this is an unpleasant sub
ject. I have known so much of this
sort of thing, however, that I could not
forliear a word to offset the curious be
lief among some young people in the
cast that the western "bad man" is a
more noble figure than tho ltostou
burglar or wife beater. lie isn't
A COSTLY CAULK
New Orleans Tiinei- Democrat.
Marseilles and Paris are now con
nected, at a cost of f 8,000,000, with an
nuderground cable. It is laid in a cast
iron pipe, six feet Mow the surface,
and is so arranged that it can lie from
time to time inspected. The success of
the undertaking is a good omen for
cities that are overladen with tele
graphic and telephonio wires.
BAPTlSlf t'OH TUX DEAD.
The Deaerel News, a Mormon journal,
says that in hades water is not plenty,
and baptism cannot be administered
least of all, baptism by immersion.
Hut no one can t saved who is not
baptized. Therefore, "the living may
stand in the place of the dead and re
ceive the ordinance vicariously." This
it "baptism for the dead."
AFTER AMEBIOAH DOLLARS.
The Forelajn Idea of the Looseness
of Money la This Country Berk
onlns Without Their Host.
"Uucla Bill" In Chicago Herald.
Thrust your hand into America, grab
full of dollars, and then pull it out That
the foreign idea of the plenty and looseness
of money in this country. In trying to carry
into practice the visitor Is pretty sure to
learn that we are good bargainers, never
buying anything that does not at least
promise to be worth Its cost In gratification
nf some sort I have read that we are fool
because we paid blgb prices for views of Mrs.
Langtry, the aocuHation being that we lot
ourselves be swindled by expecting to see
good actress. We simply bought a sight of
notorious women and got it In the case of
Borah Bernhardt, ws were willing to give
more, because she brought great talent In
addition to notoriety; and who can say that
we were cheated? Beores of European per
formers sorrowfully know that we have de
clined to purchase their entertainment,
though cloverly importuned to do so.
tlio present instance of Irving, our instinctive
demand of value for value has kept us sensi
ble. Now York has liked some of bis roles
and disliked others, praised his merits and
condemned his demerits, bought tickets
high rates for such performances as pleased
and left the speculators heavy losers on the
others.
Two men of eminence In a holier profession
than play-acting are now being rather un
pleasantly instructed in this matter of get
ting Americai. money. They are Capel, the
hnglish Catholic priest and orator, and Hya-
cinthe, the French seceder from the Romish
church. Each has world-wide celebrity, each
needed a replenishment of bis church fund
and each concluded to come to the Yankees
for the money. Neither is getting it They
have been socially made welcome in this citv,
and it may be that private subscriptions will
help their entirely worthy causes, but the en
tortainment-buying publio is not dealing with
them to a remunerative extent Hyacinths
lectured luat evening In Chlckering ball, which
can bold 3,000 persons, but did contain only
1100 The receipts could have no more than
covered tho expenses. The metropolis cares
little for lectures, and appeals for charity on
beliair or foreign building projects do not
touch our hearts. Another fact is that our
own clergymen justly believe that there are
as yet plenty of eligible sites for new
churches on this side of the ocean.
Capel has bad no backing from Cardinal
McCluskey In bis mission, and Hyaciuthe re
ceives no Protestant sympathy of an influ
ential kind The failure of the latter to
draw a crowd to bis lecture was manifestly
depressing to hi in, and his eyes seemed to
have a dread of the rows of empty scats. His
gaze was carefully adjusted, so as not to ex
tend beyond the occupied f rout I pitied him.
Nevertheless, I bad to laugh when a third of
the originally small audleuce departed in
mild punia There bad been no intimation
in the advertisements that he would speak
in French. He had not delivered six sen
tences in that language before a horror of
hearing him for an bour without understand
ing hhn took possession of those who wore
ignorant of bis tongue. A bolder man than
the rust led a movement to the door, and was
followed like sheep after a bellwether.
A Lesson In Heal IlealUm.
Derrick Dodd in San Francisco Post.1
Boucicault tells another good story which
has never yet appeared in print The fol
lowing Incident occurred at Jacksonville,
Florida, last spring, and the clever actor-
aramatiHi says il suggested an entirely new
Idea In dramatic construction, which he pro
poses to avail himself of some day. The cur
tain had just gone down on the tliird act of
The Colleen Itawn" when a tall professor-
like individual advanced to the front of one
of the boxes, and propounded the following
unlooked-for conundrum to the audionce:
Ladies and gentlemen, why is it that
Bliakespcare is the only real dramatist the
world ever produced f"
As no one replied, the tall man went on
earnestly:
"Is it because of his marvelous knowledge
of human nuture, or bis wonderful command
of language and expression! Not at all Uther
writers have equaled him in these respect,
but the immortal bard Is the only dramatist
who recognized the evident fact that in real
life vice U not punished and virtue is not re
warded, as the sickly, seutimontal playwrights
of to-day would have us believe. There is no
but act mnke-up-all-around-everybody.
get married business in bis plays. Look
Othello! Thais the way matters
wind up in real life. Look at Romeo
and Juliet No "happy denouement"
about thorn. My advice to the public.
therefore, is to never sit a play out Always
leave before the last act, just when the trouble,
lllalny and heart breaking is at its worst.
and you will get the real realism and natural
ness."
"Oo onl Go on!" said tho audience, which
seemed to be profoundly impressed with this
reasoning.
"1 have nothing more to say," continued
the critic, putting on his hat, "except that the
cui-taiu will be mug up iu a minute. I move
tint we now adjourn."
And lloudrault says that when the curtain
went up he was dumbfounded to observe that
there was not a soul left in the house.
The Chlnamaa and Ills C'etTln.
Cor. London Telegraph. J
The Idea of the Chinaman is that when he
dies he ought to lie buried in the trunk of a
tree, and so It comes about that all Collins are
designed with a view to keep up the illusion.
hey consist of four outside tree boards, and
are so fashioned together as to look very like
a tree at a little distance. They are, of
course, tremendously heavy; but then that is
considered an excellent fault If a son wishes
to he very polite to bis father, or one friend
desires to obtain the good will of another, be
makes him a preaent of a good, solid, heavy
colli n. The gift is put into an honored place
in the house ready for u, and is shown for
the admiration, of any frieuda who may call
The owner would rather go into his cotlln
than part with it, ami, generally speaking,
though a Chinaman, may get into debt and
be very harshly treated by his creditors,
they will leave him his coftln, not wishing to
prejudice his entry into the next world,
which, according to the Celestials, depends
very much upon tlie way in w hich a nun is
buried. I was told that half the Chiutwe
living in Hong Kong were already in happy
potwurion of their cofUns, and ready to enter
them when wauted.
Yonkers Oasette: Wheo a widow buries
ber first husliand she becomes pensive, but
after she gets the second she Is Usually ex
pensive. An Exqnlalte Vera.
Inter Ocean
The comic poets have caught np a new sub
stitute for ideas, the original of which was
the following exquisite Terse:
If I were a Lumti-tum-lum -titum-too
In the land ot the olive and fig,
Td sit all the day on the trolle-tol-loo
And play oo the thinjree-rae-jig.
And if ia the Rumde-dum battle I fall
A what s ita-Dama's all that I crave
But bury me deep In the what yon may-ealL
And plant thing um-bobs over my grave.
PenmanNhlp ef Brltloh Boyalty.
St Louis Globe-Democrat
An expert in handwriting as expres
sive of character hos "written up" the
marks of sundry British statesmen,
The members of the present cabinet,
with the exception of Bir Charles Dilke,
do not write bad bands. I he calig
raphy of the late Lord Beaconsliuld
was elegant, bold and dignified. Hut
of all the writing of ministers, that
of the elder Pitt stands pre-eminent for
its beauty and symmetry. Like Addi
son's, his haudwriting resembled copper'
plate.
The royal family of England have
generally written good hands, that -of
her present majesty being remarkable
for its ease and gracefulness, lior pred
ecessor, King William IV., wrote
legibly and well. The writing of Queen
Anne is large and majestic. Hhe signed
herself "Anne It." The first letter of
the name was usually a modorutuly-
sized capital, but the succeeding ones
gradually increased their dimensions
nntil the final letter reathed somotimes
almost an inch in height. Hor irate
majesty was wont to rise on her dignity
in much the same way. Mary of .Scot
land signed herself neatly and prettily,
MaryetheQuone. JiotU the Charleses
wrote plainly and "like gentlemen."
The same may be said of tho four
Georges, although that of George I. is
rather stiff and pedantic. There is
good deal of pompons display in the
writing of Uneen Elizabeth, iior sig
nature especially is resolute but showy,
An Expert Horseman.
Chicago News.
Jounny n , a nontenant in my
old regiment, was always a groat horse
manone of those men who could
teach a horse anything, and make
spirited animal out of the sorriest plug.
tie was always up to some trick or
other, in which his trained horse played
a prominent part. ben we were on
a scout a favorite trick of his was to
ride at full gallop into town and drop
his horse in a heap right in the street,
and the intelligent brute would lie
there as though dead. lie would go
off and attend to his business and come
back to find a crowd aronnd the horse
almost ready to mob him for his cruelty,
Flinging a ler over the animal's back
he would come to life, spring up and be
away in an instant Many a time in
dangerous scouts has his ability to drop
liorse in an instant stood him in good
stood, and enablod him to escape cap
ture. A peculiar thing was that his
horses wonld never do their tricks for
any one else. Oflioers usod to take a
fancy to some of his trained animals,
and pay a large price for them, only to
find that they wore very ordinary and
stupid brutes out ox their trainers
hands.
The Inconvenience of lalaeaes.
Exchange.
A common notion among uneducated
pooplo, whose eyes are in good con
dition, is that young people have no uso
for glasses, and that they wear thorn
"jtiBt for stylo." To those who are
tinged with this mediievnlism it is re
spectfully suggested that they wear a
pair of glasses for a week aud see if
they are willing to undergo the incon
venience for all the stylos in a millinery
store. If thoy try that invention of tho
evil one, the nose pinchers, less than a
week will be necessary, for the tor
menting things will gradually slide ofl
the nose if that organ is at all thick or
inclined to perspire. Nose glasses are
the abomination to all oculists, for they
know that with them no uniformity of
position can be attained. A glass to be
accurately fitted to an eye must have its
focal centre in a line with the centre of
the eye. The wearer of tho eyeglass
sticks that instrument of torture on his
nose in as many different positions as
he can, with the lenses at all conceivable
angles. Then the bowed glasses fret the
ears and wear tho bridge of the nose
raw. The man who would wear glasses
for style would wear ear jowelry aud
corsets.
Creations to Illnatrate the Actor.
"Uath" in Cincinnati Enquirer.
I passed perhaps the most distin
guished actress in this country on the
street to-day, whom I do not personally
know, and I caught the words as I
asset! : " The business doesu't pay." I
thought to myself: Here is a woman
brought up iu another part of the world,
but she is undoubtedly talking, not
about her art, but the profits down at
tho theatre, which does not especially
concern lior, as she has no interest
there. My belief is that some of our
managers will make a great deal more
money if thoy keep their eyes off the
dollars and at the art. Pieces that are
made in this country at present are
nearly all written for somo ono actor,
and not based on any genius or interest
ing character. An actor is a being to
enter into a creation ; but our creations
are all made to illustrate the actor.
What can Ih expected of a dramatic
literaturo which, instead of socking in
history or human nature for its hero,
goes tlown under the stage to find a
postnnst and strutter and manufacture
!nm mto a historical hero?
Trxaa' Uraalna band.
"Hanson" in Chicago Times.
It appears that the great Texas past
ures of mosquito grass cover at least
150,(R0 square miles, which, it is
claimed, will sustain fifty cattle to the
square milo. liut in only one place has a
test of its capacity been made. A ranch
of thirty miles square is inclosed, and
now supports 30,000 cattle: nor would
it support more thau 10,000 more by
tho most careful management. So we
may conclude that the mesquite plains
would not support more than forty to
the square mile, or 6,000,000 in ail
quite enough, however, for tho needs
of this country. Texas contains 274,
3t5 square miles, of which it is claimed
that one-third is fanning land of
various grades, ono-half grazing land
of the capacity above indicated, and
not more than one-sixth complete des
ertmost ot this on tho gypsum plains
and barren mountains, liut I appre
hend it is too early to make so arbitrary
a division ; for men are now abandoning
tracts they once bclioved agricultural
and moving into tracts they once
thought barren.
A Bridgeport (Conn.) gentleman will
publish all the rejected poems he can
Mod
riGHTIir& USDEB ARREST.
A Captain Whs Couldn't Keep oat ol
right While en the HklrmUb
Line.
Inter Ocean.
Capt Wheeler was a born commander of
skirmishers. He bad a voice like a bugle
blast, and an unusual amount of push and
dash in bis composition. He knew all about
human nature on the skirmish line, its strong
points as well as its weaknesses, and seemed
guided by an unerring Instinct in ordering
forward movements. He always aimed to
stampede the enemy i skirmishers, and very
often succeeded. The men of the regiment
had the greatest confluence, in him, and
obeyed him with alacrity, and so, somewhat
to the disgust of the other officers of the
regiment, be monopolized the skirmish busi
ness. In other departments he was not so great a
success. He was unscrupulous and reckless,
and was occasionally under arrest He was
at once the pride and the aggravation of
'Jen. Nelson. The old soldier generally called
him a buccaneer, and bad bim under arrest
half the time for some of his "devilish practi
cal Infringement." Capt Wheeler was under
arrest after Bhiloh, and Nelson was con
stantly complaining about ' the way his
skirmishers acted before Corinth. Nothing
was done to suit him, and be was on the line
every day fuming and swearing and direct
ing. One day be insisted that the post should
bo advanced. He didn't want any child's
play. The attempt was made, but resulted
simply In a listless skirmish fight A man
slipped down a line of fence, and was in con
sultation a moment with the officers. Then
be passed along the line to the right There
was a lull. Then rang out the bugle tout of
Capt W.t and the line moved forward.
There was no child s play. There was a
terrible rocket Then there was a charge,
and from beyond the wood come the sound
of the captain's voice, still urging his men
forward. Nelson was delighted and outraged.
He sunt an aid to recall Capt W. "Tell the
d n fool, sir, be Is under arrest Tell him.
by heaven, sir, I'll have him hung if he per
sists in his contempt for me and my orders."
And then as the shout in front told of an
other advance, the old general ejaculated:
"Splendid, splendid, by b 1, sir, I believe that
man will go right Into Corinth."
The whole line was in a fever of excitement
Nelson was advancing bis posts and taking
advantage of every circumstance. Nelson,
proud of having accomplished so much,
was still indignant because Capt W. bad
sent bim two or three impudent messages.
He had three different oflioers under
orders to arrest the captain and return him
to camp. Finally the captain came back.
Saluting, be said: " General, I have the
honor to report that the boys have played
with the rebel line, and that they await your
permission to drive the Johnnies into thoir
intrenchments. I took a little swing with
the boys and forgot all about the fact that
you ordered me to remain in camp, I am
now ready to be shot, and you had better
shoot me now, because if there is any more
advancing to be done, the temptation will be
too strong for me to resist" Much to every
body's surprise Nelson thundered out, " Re
sist I You won't resist it at all You will de
light in it You will disobey orders every
time. And by b 1. sir, so would L You
can return to your company, sir."
An American Debutante In Knzland.'
Croffut's New York Letter.
On first arriving in England six months
ago, Miss Detcbon (pronounced De-shon, ac
cent on last syllable) spent some weeks in
Stratford, where or whereabouts, in a plain
blue flannel dress (or gown, aa they alwavs
say in England), she ransacked all the haunts
of Shakespeare, and shouted herfavoriMparts
through the woods and over the hills a
pretty vision, doubtloss, to the rustics of those
parts. She wont to London, and Mrs. Labou
chere and husband became her influential
friends, and for some months now she has
been chirping in the houses of the nobility.
At last Mr. bdgar Bruce, manager of the new
London theatre to which the prince of Walt
has given his name, decided to accord her a
hearing as a candidate to open that fine place
of amusement
"I have Just been through a most trying
ordeal," she says in her letter. "In my ap
pearance before Mr. Bruce, everything de
pended on being in good health and voice.
Alas! I caught a slight cold, which
tightened and tightened, and closed down on
my voice, which grew dimmer and dimmer.
The vital day came. I was reduced to a
whisper and a gasp. I resolved not to run
the risk of postponement, but to call up all
my resources and depend on pantomime.
did It Desperately I went ahead. I
funned and frolicked recklessly. I sang like
a creaking door. I chirruped like a frog.
bobolinked without the bobble. Well, I
won. And now I hold a contract with Mr.
Bruce, by the terms of which be brings me
out properly as a star during the gny Lon
dou season, on terms highly advantageous
aud satisfactory to me."
On this very poiut a New York manager
showed me a letter from London yesterday
which said: "Little MissDetebon, who made
such a hi- in "Wives," has been engaged to
open the Prince's, at the same salary that
was paid Langtry here."
A Warning to Mtage-Mtrnrk t.lrls.
"Mahlstick" In Courier-Journal.
I want to utter one more warning word
here to tho crowd of young women, many of
them well born and well bred, who, flattered
by a most vivid imagination, make a rush
at the stage-door and clamor for admission.
I have bad, as the well-wisher of one of these
aspirants, some little experience within the
last few days of the disagreeable task of ask
ing favors for another, disagreeable because
the result was a foregone conclusion. Here
comes to the city a very pretty, amiable girl,
supposed to possess enormous talent for the
stage. She was Induced to come her
through promises on the part of s
theatrical individual to assist ber, which
promises were , probably found to be
of impossible accomplishment I called yes
terday upon the manager of one of the besl
theatres, an old friend of years standing. 1
said to him: "I want three minutes' talk.
There is a young lady here from Louisville
aspirations, the stage. Have you a little part,
even a line or two, to commence P "Wait a
moment," be replied. He opened a drawer
and took out a list a printed proof an
nouncing the name of the company soon to
open the regular season. The number of
names was appalling. "You see!" he re
marked, "and there are six young women
here whom I can not possibly use. As tor
the list of applicants, all backed by influence,
applicants who possess amaiing genius, I
wouldn't tire you by asking you to read it"
On Fating Hoop.
Croffut in Pioneer Press.
For instance, "Dont eat soup from the end
of a spoon, but from the side." Such a rule
cannot be called etablUhel. The very shape
of a spoon proves that it was meant to be
eaten from at the end, and to sip from the
side successfully without spilling, especially
if the diner has a full mustache, is a difficult
feat At the same Urns the position of the
arm is more graceful, if one sips from the
side. It is no sort of consequence which
mod is sdcptwl it merely a question of
Uste.
At an Old-Time Bar.
Baltimore Day. .
"Are any of the old-time, ante bellum
bar-keepers still living?"
" Jimmie McElroy is probalilv tho only
nnA of nn nrominence. For many
years he presided over the bar at Bar-
puma n i a wuiu kudu iuv , . v. j --
this source would have alone set the
table for the entire hotel. 'Old Jimmie,'
as he was familiorly called, was a de
lightful companion, and the staid, re
spectable citizen who would receive a
Jrink from no other hand than his
miuuul him ar!lv when he retired to
the shados of private life. In those days
. . . , . I 11 1L.
uarnum s bar was me rosori ior uu ue
man ahnnt town. It WOS there that
Edward Spencer found the originals of
the two characters, tne jauge ana me
main wYinaA effort to train a drink at
lomebody's expense furnished all the
. ... 11.- 1 W..-
merriment in mi, vuo Arssumu im
nlpr ' Thnaa wern a Dr. Mason and Mai
Ellicott They were both mombers of
old and highly respected juaryiona
families vlin had descended throuch
regular gradations to the very depths of
that terrible decay wmcn is uesi Known
as shabby trenteel. How thoy lived was
a mvsterv with which the world little
concerned itself. Every morning found
them snugly sconced in a quiet corner
of Jimmie's bar-room. Here they would
sit unobserved by the patrons, but in
such a position that the faces of the lat
ter wore faithfully reflected in the mir
rors. Then one would sally forth and
approach the bar in an unconcerned
sort of fashion. If his presence was
unobserved he would rattle the lid of
the cracker-box in such a manner as to
attract attention to himself. Recog
nition would usually follow. If invited
to drink he would say with a patroniz
ing air: 'Allow me to introduce my
fripnl ' TTia WiTrmaninn. wlin had
meanwhile silently joined the group,
i -, i rui 1?.1
woum men ue presentoa. xue anut
nnnA nwallnwAtl thnv vntihl hnw thA
gentleman politely out and retire to
their corner to repeat the stratogem
again at the first favorable opportunity."
"Rihunih's" Crltlrlam of Washing
ton Monument.
Cor. St Louis Globe-Democrat.
Tho most prominent object in the
District of Columbia, from every point
of view, is the Washington monument,
which Las gone skyward at a great rate
since spring, and stands now as the
ugliest thing for the money human
bands could design. This exaggerated
chimney of white marble, rearing itnelf
solitary on the banks of the Potomac,
yesterday attained a height of 400 feet,
and when the work ceases for the
season at the end of this week the last
course of stone will bo 410 feet above
the ground. Since congress took the
unfinished shaft in hand and raised it
by annual appropriations to its present
height the monument has been steadily
becoming an object of greater interest
to sight seers, and groups of thorn visit
it every day in the year.
lho great column of marble does not
convey any impression to the mind but
that of surpassing and unnecessary
height. ' It teaches no lesson, it ex
presses no symbol, and stands for noth
ing but so much stone and marble, und
careful workmnnship virtually thrown
into the air. With neither utility or
beauty to recommend it, it fails to
impress one with any character or ex
pression of its own. The spirl of the
btrasburg cathedral, to rival which in
height seemed the sole object of build
ing this monument to the proposed
level, has a certain majesty and impres
siveness to it. The airy spire that bears
the holy cross and the chime of bells
has some rational excuse for being, and
the great cathedral walls at its base
give a balance and proportion to the
soaring tower. If the Washington
monument were to be a light house, a
shot tower, a bell tower, or even a fac
tory chimney, it would appeal to one
ana impress one more than it does now
by emptiness and nselessness.
"For the Brave Dead."
St Paul Pioneer Press. ,
An old story and a Rood ono can be
told of Sheahan. He w as a fresh lieu
tenant in command of raw recruits at
Fort liidgoly when that post was be
sieged by tne hionx in 1802. Capt.
Marsh, his superior, was slain with a
score of men while on tho way from the
fort to the relief of tne Lower ap-ency.
Lieut. Sheahan announced the death of
Capt. Marsh at parade on the day the
news reached the fort. "Now," said he,
when the sad fact was duly stated, "let
us give three groans for the brave
dead 1" Victory would have called for
cheers. Death, to Mr. Sheahan's
Hibernian mind, deserved eroans. The
whole company under his Boshnn-like
lead, gave three such howls as would
have lifted the hair on the heads of
Capt. Marsh and his brave men. had
any been loft there by their slayers.
A Pig-Headed Sovereign.
Exchange.
"A friend of mine, who was lately in
St. Petersburg," says Mr. Labouchere,
ana wno naa wnen mere a Koodotmor-
tnnity to look behind the scenes, tells
me that the emperor is a pig-headed
fool, incredibly ignorant, and that, un
less he is pushed by his entourage, he
is not likely to trouble the peace of the
world by any grandiose scheme of for
eign conquest. 'Will he,' I asked, 'give
his subjects some sort of a constitution?'
lie is too great a fool,' my friend re
plied. ne will continue to do one day
what he did the previous day.' "
A DILEMMA.
Boston Gloha.1
To write, or not to write, that is the question.
ii uviuor it u uomer in me nnna to suffer
ThA ronutAtinn nf Kiinc aulra.1 K
A young lady to write in her Jautograph
album, r
ana caving aopi ue dook two years, more
or lens.
And then not written In If
Or to take the pen against s host of doubts
And, by once writing, end them! To start
to write
To write-perchance to make a blot-Ay
uteres tne rub;
Fnp tn that lUnnu V-n, 1;
- - " w.vf ua iiviuin Km
Shownf orth nervousness, distrust of self
nuu uiwij uuim: iiut urn
When ooe is writing to his girL for then
It he should maks a blot, he draws a Una
'Round it, and says .
It was intentional and meant to mark
Believes the yam, and kisses it, and thinks
. (BcyLiGirr all the way.
plarper's Weekly.
"Good-by, Jennie; the road Is long,
And the moor is bard to cross;
But well you know there is danger
In the bogs and marshy moss.
But keep in the foot path, J ounle,
Let nothing tempt you to stray;
Then you'll get safely over it
For there's sunlight all the way.
Sunlight all the way;
So never yon fear,
Keep a good heart, dear,
For there's sunlight all the way.
The child went off with a blessing
And a kiss of motber-love;
Tbe daisies were down at her feet,
And the lark was singing above.
On, on, in the narrow footrjth
Nothing could tempt hor to stray;
Bo the moor was passed at nightfall, .
And she'd sunlight all tbe way.
Sunlight all the way;
And she smiling said,
As her bed was spread,
"I bad sunlight all the way."
And I, who followed the maiden,
Kept thinking as I went,
Over the perilous moor of life
What unwary feet are bent
If they could keep the foot-path,
And not in tbe marshes stray,
Then they would reach the end of life
Ere the night could shroud the day.
They'd have sunlight all the way,
But the marsh is wide,
Aud they turn aside,
And the night falls on the day.
Far better to keep the narrow path,
Nor turn to the loft or right;
For If we loiter at morning,
What shall we do when the night
Falls back ou our lonely journey,
And we mourn our vain delay I
Then steadily onward, friends, aud we
Shall have sunlight all the way.
Hunlight all the way,
Till the journey's ofer,
And we reach the shore
Of a never-ending day.
A WOMAN'S SEASON.
hy Sweet Oladys Wept, Tntll the
Man In the Moon Mobbed From Sym
pathy. Chicago Tribune.1
"God pitv me!"
Gladys McXulty, usually so proud and
composed and who moved about in tbe little
world of those who knew her with the
stately grace of a New York Tost editorial,
tank on a fauteuil as she uttered these words
and sobbed as if her shoestrings would break.
In the lindens that lined the entrance to
Brierton Villa the robin redbreasts were trill
ing their merriest lays. And yet, lying there
on the fauteuil, whose velvety surface is not
more soft than ber cheek, Gladys McNulty is
sobbing away tbe hours of this beautiful
June morning and ever and anon there
comes from between ber white lips a low,
despairing moan that is pitifid in its sad in
tensity. But finally tbe oonvuliive sobs that
are racking ber dress waist grow fainter and in
a little while she sits up, the pink suffusion of
a blush telling all too plainly which side she
had been lying on.
And as she sits there gazing listlessly into
the middle of next week, her mother, a pleasant-faced
woman, enters the room.
"Why are you weeping, Gladys P she
asked.
The girl does not answer, and strive as she
may to keep down the sobs that are welling
up from her heart, the effort is in vain and
again the pretty face is bedowed with tears.
But an instant biter she has conquered her
emotions and looks bravely up at ber mother.
"I will tell you, mother," she said, "the
cause of my sorrow. I was crying to think
that you cannot go to the matinee to-morrow."
"And why may I not goP
"Because," answers Gladys, in a voice that
is hoarse with agony, "I have concluded to
take it in myself."
I'sed to He One lllmnelf.
Arkansaw Traveler.
"I doan't want a pusson ter pay all de 'ten
tion ter der soul. We nius' humor de body a
little as we go 'long. It's all right fur yer to
sing an' shout but I'd rather beahde pot
biliu' when I'se hungry den ter beah any
song yer ken sing. Music's mighty fine an' a
pra t am t bad, but 1 11 be dinged ef suthin'
tor eat don't hit me mighty nochul at
times."
"Anderson, I'se afeered dat yorsel'f ain't a
holy man."
"I kain't bep it De Lawd giro, me a long
in' fur meat an' bread jes' de same as He gin
me a soul, an' ef He'll only take kere ob de
soul I'll promise not ter let de longin' airter
flesh suffer much."
"Yer ought ter be ashamed ob yerse'f."
"I kain't hep It, I kain't hep it, but I'se got
a longiu' tor chaw suthin'. Quit er puttin'
meat iu the preacher's mouf when he opens
it and see bow quick he'll turn ' oose de gos
pul." " x er ouglitn tor talk dat way."
"He'd drap it like er hot pertatcr, I tell
yer. UU, yas, da likes ter sing, and some ob
'em ken put up a powerful pra'r, but when
da set down tor de table, look out Eat, why
dat black slick nigger what comes borne wid
yer some times, ken eat more biled co'n den a
steer. It's a k'laniity ebery time dat nigger
opens bis mouf, an' greens, he eats greens
like a cow eatin' hay. Oh, I ustor be a
preacher myse'f. I preached till da quit
feedin' me an' den I stopped."
They Mold Jlim a Hole.
WaU Street News
He was telling the story in the billiard
room of a Denver hotel. Said he:
"There were three ot us, you see, and Ne
vada was a cold climate for us. We were
dead-broke, half-starved, and clear discour
aged, when along came a New Yorker. He
wouldn't play cards, wouldn't be robbed, and
we couldn't stick him with forged bind
patents or bogus pre-emptions. One day we
trailed out and dug a bole into a hill and
salted it a bit, and rushed back and offered
the New Yorker the big discovery for $3,000
cash down."
"And he bitP
"Took right hold like a pair of pincers.
Why, he never even stopped to beat us down.
We got a cool thousand apiece and made for
Freco,"
"Purty cool that was."
"Well, I dunno. If there was anything
cool In that transaction it was the way that
New Yorker bunted up a pard, set miners to
work, bought machinery, and took over t"50,
000 out of that 'ar hole inside of eight months !
Maybe we've got over feeling flat, but I guess
not" ,
A 1'ortnne In One Recipe.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
A poor soldier went into the store of a hair
dresser in London for money to get back to
the army. He had already stayed beyond his
furlough, and he must have quick transit
The halr-dresser felt sorry for him and gave
him tbe money. "Now," said the poor
soldier, "I have got nothing to give you in
return for your kindness except this little
slip of paper, which has on it a recipe for
making blacking." The soldier gave it not
supposing it to be of great value. The man
received it, not supposing it to be of any
great value. But it has yielded the man who
took It $3,500,000, and was the foundation of
one of th greatest manufacturing establish
ments of England.