The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899, January 26, 1884, Image 2

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    EUGENE CITY GUARD.
1. 1 CAJIPBKLL, Proprietor
EUGENE CITY, OREGON,
OH, DARLING, TO-MGIIT.
' Lilian Whiting.
8lnf to me, darliiu. oh, darling, tu-iilK'tt
I tit weary and faint in the lessening light.
Th diiy so full freighted with dute ha
And U'ft me no courage, no sweetness at last.
The burdens were heavy-tny baud wa too
slight
Sing to uie, darling, oh, darling, to-night!
Piny for me, darling, oh, darling, tonight!
Touch th white key with your finger of
liKliti . ,
Waken the melodic, only your hand
On make for my heart, la iu pleading de
mand. Preami half divine at your touch will unite
Flay for me, darliug, oh, darling, to-nlnbtl
Talk tame, darling, oh. darling, to-night!
Your word will fall softly a love and at
liKht: t ,
Tell me how even our faltering hamw
Can wrest from this life our divinest de
mands, Till life may be made of their eweetnem and
"sHt-
Talk to me, darling, oh, darling, to-night!
Pray for me, darling, oh, darling, to-night!
For the worlj grow dark with the fading
light
The era wind blow chill, the foam wavee
are creeping
The stars have grown weary their watcbe
of keeping
Sly tpirit from earth would be winging her
flight
Pray for me, darling, oh, darling, to-night!
"ALL ENLIGHTENED DINEES."
Aa Open-Hearted Aanrmbly at the
"lMnnrrof II limed Author."
Alpboniie Damlet say, In hi remlni
cense of "Tourgueneft in FarU," published
in The Century, with a portrait from life:
"It wai at tlili period tlint we conceived the
Idea of monthly gathering at which we
friend should meet; it was to lie called 'the
Flaulwrt dinner.' or 'the dinner of binned au
thorn.' Flaubert belonged to it by right of
hie 'Candidal,' I by that of my 'Arlmioiine,'
Zola with 'Uouton de Rose,' De Ooncourt
with 'Henrietta Marechal.' Emilo do Ulr
anlln wished to ilip into our group; but
though he liad been heartily hissed at the
theatre, he wai not a writer In our m ime of
the word, and we excluded him. Ai for
Tourgueneff, he gave ui hli word that he had
been hissed in Russia; and aa It waa very far
off, none of ui went to tec.
"Nothluir can be more delightful than
' these friendly taut, where you talk In per
fect freedom, with your wlta all present and
your ellwwi on the cloth. Like men or ex
iMvionce. we were all enlightened diner.
Naturally, tltere were aa uinuy form of thlt
enlightenment as there were different tern
ieraineut, and a iiiuny receipt for dlshe
a different province. Fiautiert had to have
hi Norninn butter-pats, and his ducks from
llouena 1'otouffadt, De Uonooiiit pushed
rellnemeut and criticism to tho inilnt of de
manding preserved ginger! I did honor to
my bouillabaisse, as well ai to sea-urchins
and sliell-llxh: anil lourgiieueii Kept on
tasting his caviare.
"Ah, we were not easy to feed, and the
rpstaiirmit of Pari miiKt remember us welll
We tried a great many. At one time we
were wllh Adulphe & Fele, lieliind tlieUjiera;
then In the Place do l'()iera I'oinlipie; tlieu
with Volsin, heme cellar poeilled all our ex
actions and reconciled all our apatite.
"Wesatdowu at 7 o'clock, and at 9 In
the morning we were still at table. Flaubert
and Zola dined In their shirt-sleeve. lour-
gueiielT stretched himself on the divan; We
turned the waiters out ot tne room a neeU'
less lirecniitlon, aa the mighty Maw' of Klau
bert was beard from the top to the bottom of
the house and then we talked of llterutui.
Home one of us always had a book Just out;
it was tlio 'Teirtatlou de Halnte AuUiiuo' and
the 'Trots t'ontes' of Flaubert, the 'Fill
Ellsa' of De Ooncourt, the 'Abbe Mouret' and
the 'AsHommolr' of Zola. Tourgueneft
brought the 'Living Kellca' and 'Vtrgiu Moll;'
I, 'Fromont Jeune,' 'Jack,' 'The Nabab.'
We talked to each other oiien-heartedly,
without Mattery, without the complicity of
mutual adiulrntiou.n
Mnearlng at the Mule.
A Coil deal of attention ha recently been
paid among student of animal intelligence
to the power of comprehension of huuuin
spoevh shown by certain of the lower order
(if creation. The foregoing anecdote is told
in supHrt of the theory that uiulenitandlng
I due to the effect of tone rather than
words, and that such is the case would seem
to lie Indicated by the tichavior or mule un
der tbe stimulus of a professional "swearer."
Who that ha heard a western plainsman
"wear" a mule team out of a slough can for
get the cumulative effect with which tlie
climax is reached. It Is said that on some
much-traveled route there are certain driv
ers who are sent for In case of trouble simply
liccauM) they can "persuade" more work out
of a mule team than the combined lashings
of all Ui rest of the train can whip out of
them.
It must be atmlttel, however, that the
coie of English In the way of plcturempi
sweating is vastly wider than that of any
other language, of civilisation. We do not
say this In ajnilogy fur the ungeutlemanly
and wholly inexcusable vice of vulgar pro
faulty, but because it affords an example of
the siierior flexibility of English as a form
of speech. We doubt if there is any other
language whose current coiu of expletive
can lie lined with any effect on a western
mule team. The oaths of French, Hermans
and Italians are coniiarativey harmless, and
are capable of but few variations, Kngllsh,
therefore, may .wsihly be the most compre
hensible to the animal creatlou, simply be
cause ot the readincNi with which It lends it
self to w hat may be termed the denunciatory
scale. '
The wMnar'." Waa Ahead.
In the (tars gone by a citlten of Detroit
who has lately been gatlicred to hi father
was a justice of the ea-e for one of th
townshiw of this county. One day a he sat
In his oltlce with nothing to do a friend came
along with a youug horse. The Bquor' was
somewhat conceited on tlie horse question,
and when Informed tliat the upline before
him would let no man ride him he at once
determined to acclouiplish the feat. A crowd
gathered, a saddle waa brought, and hit
honor presently found himself astride of the
beast The next thing he knew be was lying
in a muddy ditch, and a down men were
laughing to kill
"1 declare this court In session T yelled hi
bows; as he struggled up.
At this tlier was a fresh bunt ot laughter
and be continued:
"And each and every one of yon is fined
3 for contempt of court!"
They laughed harder than ever, but tlie
fine were recorded and collected, aud for
year after it wa understood that court was
in session except when the B'.psar' waa ia bod
and asleep.
A 'TRADE SECRET,
In Readinesi to Bide on Every.'
body's Hobby,
A Drammer'a Htory bt How lie Pre
pared Himself to Win and
Keep Customer and Dis
tance Ilia Rival.
New Tork Time.
A plainly but richly dressed gentleman, of
pcposseing appearance and quiet, unas
suming manners, boarded a train on the
rlixtb avenue elevated road at Franklin street
the other evening He was recognized by a
Time reporter as one of the best paid
"drummers" In the country. Thore
was something in his appearance that was not
familiar, however. Tbe inevitable accompani
menu of one of hi clam, the silk skull
cap and the "grip-sack" were mining. In
tbelr place be had a formidable bundle of
newspaper and magazine. There were, in
addition to cople of several of the daily
papers, Issue of Tbe Irish Nation, Tbe Inde
pendent, The American Review, Tbe Free
man' Journal, Harper Bazar, The Chruch
man, The Clipr, Tbe Baptist Weekly, and
varlou trade Journal aud reviews. The
collection wa remarkable because of the
widely differing character of tbe publica
tions and the topic of which they made a
specialty.
"About to start a news tandr" asked the
reporter of hi friend, a be sat dowu b ide
him.
"No."
"Going to become an editorr
"No. Pm still In the same old line, selling
clothing for the million at price utterly be
yond competition."
"What iu the world are you doing with all
those papers, then! Surely they can't be a
part of your stock in trade your sainplesP
"No, they're not sample, but they are a
part of my stock In trado, and a very Import
ant part."
"Will yon tell me what part they ploy In
the sale of shoddy trousersf
"Yes, I will reveal a trado secret, and ona
that I consider a very valuable one. I read
every one of those papers nearly every week,
and a great many more not Included in the
list you here. I read a many pier
each week, in all probability, as due the
editor of any daily pajier, anil in addition I
keep up with the current literature of the day
and with all theatrical, musical, and sporting
event, and am constantly "cramming" up
ou the prlnclal event of the day at home
aud abroad. It is bard work, as you can
well imagine, but I believe It to be necessary,
and also believe that It pays. I know It has
paid me.
"When I wont Into the business of a com
merclal traveler I Intended to make a success
of it You know that I have done it 1 had
a love for the business. Most men in tbe
profession, for I hold that when tho business
is properly done It rise to tlie dignity of a
profusion, devoted thelrleisiire time to story
telling, billiard-playing, and other recrea
tions. I nuute up my mind to master the
business, so that I could uot only get, but
keep customer. This was a score of years
ago, I noticed that a customer was more
pleased to meet a drummer who could talk
Intelligently uxm sonm subject in which he
was interested than one whose merits, outside
his samplo trunk, consisted of his ability to
tell a good story ami to buy unlim
ited cigars And drinks. Ho I lie'im
to read. Tho daily papers guvj me
a suHrfleiat knowledge of every
thing, and 1 read both sid.H politically. The
new iii)ein of those days didn't treat matters
so fully or intelligently as they do to-day.
Consiyiieiitly I supplemented the informa
tion. 1 got there by reading weekly (mpors
or well-conducted monthly publications
and (piarterlioi which treated special topics
exhaustively. I had both European and
American politics, and social, sectional, reli
gious, lliiuncial, and a hundred other topics
at my linger' and tongue's ends. If I ha I a
customer iu view I found out his peculiar
hobby, called on him and bilked atmiit Ilia
hobby. That pleased him. He became a
goodlly for this very greedy spider. Of
oouiw, I didn't forget to nilnglo with my
swialty as a heavy man the low comedy ele
ment that Is, the story telling and joke
cracking. Nor did I neglect tbe
social irt of my duties-that's what we
call cigars and drinks. The schems
worked admirably and paid well. I got new
customer and hold them, because I kept ace
with them on their particular hobby. Home
of them, I really believe, were glad to see me
come around. I gave up my salaried pool
tion and wer.t to work on commission. The
general plan worked so well that in every
city I visited I made it a point to read the
daily aiers thoroughly for their lix-al new
alone before I visited a customer. Ho tar as
I could while flying alsmt the country I kept
track of what were distinctively matters of
Interest to particular localities only. That
paid, too. It pleased customers, because it
made them think I was interested Iu their
cities aud localities,
"My experiment had convinced me that
the newsiapers were the great educators, and
from them I managed to keep posted on art,
literature, the science, and the thousand and
one topics with which I deemed It ueoossarv
to keep acquainted to meet the aa mviy dif
ferent hobbies of my customers. There were
among my victims a large nunilier of Ger
mans and Frenchmen, and I wanted to culti
vate their trade, so I went to work as metho
dically as I had done in my newspaper scheme
and studied llh languages, and now I speak
Ixith, and have added to my list of paHra
several priute-l in those laugimges, and
some of t Item published abroad, I have also
learned to rend lsth Italian and Simnish,
and to stunk a little of each. These accom
plishment are tniin; cards 1 lind, in the
west, particularly where a merchant is
pleomxl to have you chat with him in his own
luuguage. It has proved beneficial to me iu
other way, too. My knowledge of these
language I have kept a secret so far as my
assx-iato drummer are concerned. Some of
those are of tieruian and French birth, and
are specially engaged to handle that tin le in
the west anil south. They have always len
free in talking about their business plans and
their engagements with person of their own
nationality, Imt felling other line of goods,
Tbe secrete they have thin uuwittlugly put m
In posses-ilon of were of ten ot much value.
Man v times a revelation of their plans has been
made In this way which ha enabltd me to
forestall a rival that I feared In a particular
locality and didn't fear in another. For in
stance, time aud again I have mapped out a
route for my trip, and because ot a chance
remark droped Iu German or French have
changed my entire route and been enabled to
precede a rival in my line and mike sale in
the cities which he had unwittingly given me
notice he was to visit on certain dates, leav
ing customers that I wa stir ot until I eo ild
attend to tHe:n at my leisure. That Is how
sltciKS) in llw riht p'.aow a to my acquire
ment has prove 1 golden. A drummer c m t
havetooin ichelucktion, you see, orovidiiitf
be knows how to use it, and providing it it
of t!ie kin i that he can make us of among
such customer,
'!. w ..it I carry around with me Just for
use in case of au emergency among the tuer
chant of the southwest exclmlvely. I know
the record of every trotting horse in the
country of an,v consequence, the exploit of
every running' horse, the standing of every
base ball club and every indiviuuai piayer,
and yet very rarely attend a horse race or a
in i,,.. i H,.'t trnve time. Everv
Mill , U " - '
nwi chant In that section is up In that sort of
'.nini?, though, and I bav to ue preimi w
meet and talk with them on these, their bob
bies."
"How In the world can you carry all tha
information about with you I"
"It is easy enough now. U? first experi
ence when I adopted my news;a?r reeling
plan got me into the habit of m emorizing.
It came hard at flrxt, but now It hai become
a second nature with me. I read rapidly,
and don't believe I forget anything I read,
though so far as I can see or know, I make
no special effort at memorizing or charging
my mind with anything, unless it is some
thing of special Importance, or which strike
me a a sincially good point on some
subject in which I know a customer
of mine to be deeply lnteresuxi. xoe
whnla rtin li ensv. when ono be-
gius young and goes to work right. If young
drummers wouiu aaopi my jimu iiwiciau v.
.I-..., inn. Ihair annmlM to the mVSterie Of
poker, to the storing up of shady stories, or
the cultivation or a capacity ior oeer ui m
h trmiM flml that thev could sell
more goods, secure more customers, aud draw
larger salaries,"
Tbe train had reached Forty-second street
Tbe drummer had finished hi story of the
tii.vni mathwl ,f u)iieiitlii7 a drummer and
drawn his moral. The train relieved of the
. . . . . it
weight of to much knowledge in sucna smau
conqiass, seemed to move more easily on it
trip to Harlem.
A Plea ror tue flue.
"A pipe! It Is a great comforter, a pleas
ant soothor. Blue devils fly before Its honest
breath! It ripen the brain; it opens the
heart, and the man who smoke thinks like a
sage and acta like a (Samaritan. " So said
Lord Lytton, who may have been right, and
niay have been wrong, though judicious peo
ple will have no desire to see smoking made
the tost of wisdom and virtue. The ancient
did uot indulge in tbe habit, and appear to
have enjoyed themselves fairly well without
the weed, which Columbus, first of Europeans,
saw the "Crazy Horses" and "Sitting Bulls"
oftheperioi Indulging in, by the native
North American Indian name of tobacco.
Could some Hellenic Jean Nlcot, or Latin
Walter Raleigh have taught the Greeks and
Romans the seductive practice, Alclbiades
and the Athenian dandle would assuredly
have puffed cigar ttoa, and Horace, in dressing-gown
and slippers, sitting in an ivory
chair beside his Bandusian fountain, would
have watched the delicate blue wreaths curl
ing up against tbe dark background of ilex
nil Inure! from the bowl of hi brier-root:
while Seneca, as much man of tbe world a
philosopher, would, perhaps, nave auecieu
only the best brands of Havana; and then
go back to Greece, Socrates must certainly
have smoked a churchwarden. The eye and
ear of Imagination picture the composed
anew milinir at the futile rairo of Xautiptxi
between the deliberately exhaled puffs of his
long, classical "clay." A society wituoui
titliaiw, eert.iiiiilv lacked one of the greatest
"datives of civilization; the wonder is, how
tho fathers of poetry managed to bogu le tne
muses minus the help which, according to
CowMr, 'din's mure to quicken and rellne
than all the breath of all the nlue.
A II u ice Exuberance.
I apprehend that at the present moment
there is no question more interesting to the
American lieople than their newspaper press.
H has become a huge exuberance of the day,
like Gulliver making his advent into Lm-
tmtia. It can not be tied down, and it Is dan
gerous when it stands up. When it relieves
itself iu the ordinary operations of nature
tlie scandal is like the sun in heaven. Iu New
York the increase of newspaper is entirely
induced by avarice. The reduction of the
price of apers there is nothing but a matter
of avarice. The old citadels of prosperity are
being assaile l in every way. The attack is
not only directed on the prosperous 4-cent
and 3-cent patters, but on the prosperous
cent paper, and the tendency is to wIjmj out
the penny papers entirely. Yet, in the long
run, that channel which best serve tne put)
Ho will be proved to have been planted on
tbe best foundation.
The "Fat l.ady n Make-l'p."
"Fat women In side-shows are notoriously
hort-lived," said an old showman.
reckon you don't know how they are doc
tored up.
"They start with a pretty fat woman to
begin with. Then with a silver needle little
hole are made through the adqxwe or fatty
tissue, clear to the muscle, itie tissue are
then blown up as a butcher blow up meat,
until an increase in bulk is obtained,
which, in the arm, amount to as much as a
half or three-quarter of an inch. If wbeu,
in the process otthe inflating process, a blood
vessel be pieced and air get Into tue blood,
death Insuitit ly ensues. The fat woman takes
her risk on that. The business, if persisted
Iu, will kill off a healthy fat woman in alxiut
six years, aud don't make a great deal of
money, either."
AN EDITORIAL TRAGEDY.
The editor snt In bis sanctum small.
Surrounded by manuscript, jxiste-jxit aud
all-
Uis spirits embittered by wormwood and gall
The "compos" were growling for money and
"fat."
The neightkiring sheet dubbed the pnix?r a
Hut,"
And the "devil'' had frescoed the editor's hat.
SulwcrilxMsj were few and were slow with
their pay;
The "ads" fewer still, and the sheriff that
dav
Had fixed for to seize the whole office as
prey.
Thus, brooding, the editor thought of the
late
That mocked all the labor spent early and
late-
No wonder his frame shook with anger anJ
bate.
He picked up his pen and just started to pay
llis resects to we "uouuescripi over uie
wav,"
When a form In th door hid the bright light
of day.
"What meansthls Intruslonr the editor said,
His face with vexation dyed deeply in red,
A thought of the sheriff now llashtd thro'
his head.
'Tv written a poem," the stranger replied;
"Then keep it!" with spirit the editor cried.
And reached for a bootjack that stood by his
side.
"It treats of tlie heaven so blissful and fair"
The editor broke iu. "I wish you were there,
And toon vou will be if you don't have
care!"
Ue started to read what be'd written; the
blame
Must rest with himself, for, with unerring
aim.
To bootjack ha cut off oue seeker for taino.
DANGEROUS BLONDES.
1 Curbstone Philosopher Contradict
the Foeta' Praises.
Eve Wan a Brunette, bat a Woman,
While sa-endary, Uolden
Ilalred LlllthWaa Cold
and Croel.
Chicago Newn
"There goe another manufactured blonde!
Cegad I don't understand tbe fancy that
makes woman, whom nature ha fashioned
In fair and decent form, change themselves
into the counterfeit of other beings. I know
tlie blonde style is In vogue, and some of
them look pretty, too, with their golden locks
and innocent, ingenue air, but it's all deceit
deceit both in the hair and complexion lteelf
and the air and grace, however natural.
Blonde women are the most dangerous kind.
There is no steady harm in women who are
passionate. They may kill, you, or run off
with another man, but their acta are Impulses
and the creature thereof; there is no set
tled calculation in them. But a cool woman,
who can act from forethought, ud says
what she intends to do, and afterward does
it, is to be avoided. Yes, that class are al
ways blondes,"
'Do you mean to say that complexion af
fects character r
"Ye, it' more than skin deep. It per
meates the entire system, and the mind and
soul are a false as the physical appearance.
But wby do I object to bleached hair and
calcimined faces) Because tbe women that
do it put on an air of wickedness they don't
possess. O, I know that poet ing the praise
of fair-baired heroines, and angels are al
ways dressed that way. They all write that
way. but hbtory Is a better guide than
poetry."
"Give mean Instance."
"Mary Stuart, she came to Scotland, only
19 years old, with but two purpose in her
heart. She was young, beautiful, with blue
eyes and buir like shimmering sunbeaivs, and
a voice so low, melodious and full or cnarra
that it rivaled the sirens who lured Ulywesto
an attempted fate. Do you suppose a bru
nette would have lived her lifef Could the
impulses that usually urge on a young and
guileless girl have led to the schemes and
plot which finally resulted in Mary Stuart's
death J Her attempt was to dethrone Eliza
beth and overthrow the reformation. ' But
Mary acted from Impulses, you say. What
were they? When she yielded to Bothwell it
was with an idea to political advantage. She
could combine the baser and the loftier pas
sions and merge them both into one more ig
noble than all.
"Elizabeth was a blonde, too. Take Lady
Macbeth. True, she was only a vision of
Shakespeare, but Shakesxare was a reader
of types of humanity such as we have never
known. He soys that Caliban's mother, Sy
coras, was a 'blue eyed hag,' and look at
Maclxfth's story. She drives Malcolm to call
her 'fiend-like,' and the ouly holy passion that
sho has, her love for her husband, and her de
sire to better his fortunes, she follows out
with a cool, calculating jx;rsistence, which,
being totally divorced from all sense of honor
and uprightness, leads her only to final woe
and drives bim to the commission of his aw
ful deeds.
"Thackeray pictures Rebecca Shnrp a
blonde, and surely you would never lxk for
her characteristics among olive cheeks, blnck
ringlets, and eyes where the iris melts In the
shadow of darkly-shadowing fringes, Char
lotte Conlay's eyes were 'blue when she re
flected, almost blnck when called into play,'
and her hair 'seemed gold-colored at the
poiuts of the tresses, like the ear of corn
(lcexr and more lustrous than the wheat
stalk in the sunlight.' Helen Jegado, who
murdered twenty-five persons In her lifetime,
was a blonde of the purest tyx, and there
was a persistency about her cruelty, a calcu
lating, fur-seeing subtlety, that has no equal
outside of Milton's conception of the devil.
Ninon de l'Euclos and Mine, do Chevreuse,
who outwitted two cardinals, were blondes
lso, while Catherine do Medicis was azure
evecl, with sparkling hair and face like pearl
and silver. They were smooth-tongued' and
lieautiful to look UKn, these women, but
tliuir plots undermined courts and camps
and pulled dowu to destruction many brave
hearts."
"But the lack of the qualities that made
these women infamous would also make them
weak I"
"Of course; but why should women be
strong. Let the mau be strong. Adam fell
liecause of bis weakness, and not because Eve
tempted bim. He showed that weakness af
terward when he tried to lay the blame on
her. Eve was weak, of course. She was a
brunette and a woman. But the old legend
ot Lilith shows the difference iu the types.
IJlith, the first wife of Adam, was a cold,
passionless, splendid woman, with wondroui
golden hair. She wa created Adam s equal
In every respect; therefore, properly enough.
refused to obey him. For this she was driven
from the Garden of Eden, aud Eve was made
to order out ot one ot Adam's ribs. Then the
i'olden-haired Lilith jealous, enraged, pining
for her iott home in Paradise took the form
of a serpent, crept 'nto the garden, and
tempted Adam and Eve to their destruction
And from that day to this Lilith, the cold,
passionless beauty with golden bair, has
roamed up and down the earth, snaring the
sons of Adam and destroying them. You
may always know ber dead victims, for
whenever a man has been destroyed by the
hands of Lilith you will always find a single
golden hau wrapixd tight around his lifeless
heart."
"Where did vou get that storvr
"Mr. Conway gives it iu his history of the
devil. She might have sinned as deeply as
Lilith, but would havesulteredaud not struck
back."
"What docs all this tirade nieanH
"Nothing, only I fear blonde women, and
I hate to see those ou whose features nature
has put the stamp of faithfulness degrade
themselves by a counterfeiting of the other
brand of deceit. Auother driuk, did you
sayf Certainly. I must go now, my wife is
waiting for me over there."
"What! That blonder
"Why, of course. Some of our ideas are
only formed late in life, aud theu come
mostly from exixrience."
Tbe Mexican Gentleman.
No humiliation is so crushing to a Mexican
gentleman as to be caught on the street with
even the most infinitesimal bundle in his
hand. He considers it undignified to carry a
letter home from tlie postotllce. All packages
must be carried by servant. Fortunately
the latter can be hired for 25 cent a day,
This saves tbe Mexican gentleman from ex
tinction.
A FATAL MISTAKE,
A bright, thoughtful boy one summer di.!
Planted au avrn, and went hi way.
Both grew, as boys and acorn can,
Till one was a tree, the other a man.
Now mark the reward: Along comes the
mau.
And t'.ie tree shelters him as an oak tree ran.
Hut why stays be there in the moonlight diml
lie stole a fine horse and wa hung to a
lur.b!
TRUE AND FALSE LOVE.
To sigh, yet feel no pain; to weep, yet know
To .per" &ir with beauty's chain, th
trrow it idly by; . ,
To bend tbe knee at every shrine, yet lay the
heart at none; .
To think all other chanm divine, but tliose
we have just won.
This is love false love.
Such as kindletu heart that rovel
.. 1.
To keep one sacred flame, tnrougu
changed, unmoved; ,
To love in wintry age the same that we in
vou in nave loveu; .
To feel that we adore with such refined ex-
That Though the heart might burst with
more, it could uot uo u
This is love constant love,
Such as saint might share abova
SAW THE SIGHTS AND SULLIVAN.
Grief of Grander Whi Happened io
Hun Aero Home Hoelawe rienu
or .n .r.rrtn man. mister," said a
jolly-looking granger to the clerk of the Hoff
man house, as he deposited his gripsack on the
counter. "Give me a room where I can see
what's going on around me. I came to this
town for enjoyment Give me a room where
things are lively."
He was shown to his room, and after din
ner remarked to the clerk that he was going
out to see some fun. Somewhere near mid
night a dilapidated, torn, weary man stood in
front of the hotel register. The jolly look
hod faded somewhat from his face, out enougu
was left to enable the clerk to recognize tue
man of eccentricity.
"Well, my friend, what tne mniteri Ac
cident on the elevated! Smssh-up on tue
bri,1Ser' T, w
"No, sir; the smash-up's on me, I ve been
having considerable fun," said the guest, as
he wiixxl blood from his nyse, "When I left
here I saw a quiet-looking man on t he corner,
who didn't seem to have anything to do, and
I stepiied up and asked him if there wo any
thing lively going on in town."
" 'Are you looking for en joymentf said he,
In a sociable way. I told him that was my
only business, and be said he would assist me
In a search after hilarity. He was a pleasant
man, and seemed to know ail you first class
Nw Yorkers. We went up to the Fifth
Avenue hotel, where he said he expected to
meet Jay Gould and BiU andertnit aim
some mors of the boys. I never saw so
agreeabje fellers nothin stuck-up and
when I asked 'em to take a snack with me I
thought they hadn't had anythiug to eat for
a week. It seemed as if I had met old friends.
But," said the granger, thoughtfully, "I
didn't exactly like to see Jay Gould wixj his
face on the table-cloth, and Bill Vauderbilt's
way of slidin' raw oysters down his throat
surprised me.
"But when my friend asked mo if I wanted
to see some good iarring, I remarked that I
was at home there, and we went around to
Mr. Hill's theatre, where he introduced me to
John L. Sullivan, Jem Mace and a fellow
they call the 'Mayor's Eye.' After indulging
in some mnslied-corn potations, I put on the
gloves with Mr. Sullivan.
"We only had oue round," resumed the
guest, in a tired way. "Mister, change my
room. Give me a room where the silence of
deuth prevnils. I am weary of festivity."
The OKI Htory.
An Irishman wns once returning from a
Donnybrook fair when his horses run away,
broke" loose from the cart, and pitched Pat in
the ditch. There he slept until morning,
until a neighbor came along who, wakiug
him, asked:
"Is that you, Patrick Moriart)T
"I don't know whither it be or not," replied
Pat, looking around. "If I am Patrick Mori
arty, I've lost a pair of good horses; if I'm not
Patrick Morinrty I've found a good cart."
I'nderstood Her at Once.
"Poor Herbert, how I wish you did not
have to slave so from morning to night,"
murmured his wife, as with a fond caress she
seated herself on her husband's knee and
gently stroked the Auburn locks from bis
lofty brow. And the grave, stern man of
business understood her at once, and an
swered: "Well, Susie, what is it, a bonnet,
or what) Don't be too hard on me, for money
is scarcer tuan ever."
Married Life.
"Let us play we were married," said little
Edith, "and I will bring my dolly aud say,
'See baby, papa."' "Yes," replied Jolinny,
"and I will say, 'Don't bother mo now; I
wont to look through the paper.' "
IMPORTANT PROCLAMATION.
The Hon. Peter Howe is Sheriff of the
city and county of New lork. Recently,
In conversation with one of our reporters.
Mr. Bowe proclaimed the following fact:
"I consider St. Jacobs Oil an excellent
remedy, and one that ought certainly to
find its way into every nousenoia. Airs.
Howe always has a bottle of it there, and
makes a family remedy of It." New York
Evening Telegram.
The dairy maid pensively milked the
goat; and, pouting, paused to mutter: "I
wish, you brute you would turn to milk;"
and tlie animal turned to butt her.
To cure a sore throat, gargle with Piso's
Cure for Consumption. Twenty-five cents.
Mary Anderson did not expect to find a
live duke tn ner c nnstmas stocking.
Being entirely vegetable, no particular
care is required while using nr. fierce s
"Pleasant Purgative Pellets." "They operate
without disturbance to the constitution,
diet, or occupation. For sick headache.
constipation, impure blood, dizziness, sour
eructations from the stomach., bad taste In
the mouth, bilious attacks, pain in region
of kidney, internal lever, bloated leelmg
alxmt stomach, rush of blood to the head,
take Dr. Pierce's "pellets." By druggists.
Mr. Houcicault is writing a tragedy to be
called "Kobert tinmet,
"Samaritan Nervine cured me of St,
Vitus Dance," said T. J. Oh bom, Rich'
moud, Va.
Dujardin' Life Essence gives brain force
ana vital energy.
"Rorr.H ox Corc.Hs." 15c., 2."., 50c., at
Druggists, l omplete cure Coughs, Hoarse'
ness, Sore Throat.
Dujardin's Life Essence is the remedy
lor uie overworked brain.
Perfect health depends upon a perfect
condition of the blood. Pure blood con
querseverydisea.se and gives new life to
every decayed or affected irt. Strong
nerves anil perfect digestion enables the
system to stand the shock of sudden
climatic changes. An occasional use of
Browns Iron Bitters will keen vou in
perfect state of health. Don't (x? deceived
by other preparations said to Iw just as
pxxi. i ne genuine is made only ly Urown
Chemical Company, Baltimore, M'd. Sold
oy an dealers in medicine. .
Dujardin's Life Essence is Tue Great
French NtRVi Tomc.
vr onnirh or cold there ia no remedy
equal to Ammen's Cough Syrup.
Topers are not near-alglited becauae they
use rye glosses.
DH. PIEBCE'S " FAVORITE PBESCBlf TION"
Always becomes the favorite remedy of
those who try it. It is a specific for all fe
male "weaknesses" and ilcranncmeiil,
briniflng strength to the llmlm and back,
and color to the face. Of all dniggiMU.
The artesian well throws up its water
because it ha a spring bottom.
Samaritan Xervixk relieve the brain
of morbid fancies. Its a purely family
medicine. r
Strength for the weary-Dujardin's Life
Essence.
Physicians declare the NaiJE Brandy
superior to all other brands for medicinal
purposes.
Rev. J. S. Cain. Lewlsvllle, Ind., nays:
"I used Brown's Iron Hitters for nervous,
prostration and found it entirely satisfac
tory. Skinny Men. "Wells' Health Reuewer"
restores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia,
Impotence.
Dujardln's Life Essence conquers nerv
ous deWUity, loss of memory.
San Francisco, Cal., Feb. 20, 182.-1
use Ammen's Cough Syrup in my family.
I recommend it have sold some on my
recommendat ion-still I should not have
done so out of business or friendly consid
eration did I not believe in the medicine.
Extract from letter from K. H.
Baxter, of firm of Langley & Michaels,
wholesale druggists.
Martine & Co.-My wife, two years
ago, fell with such violence that her spinal
cord was injured, with great shock and
concussion of the nervous system, evi
denced after her recovery from the first
violent symptoms by a weakness that re
quired frequent rest in bed, by peevish
ness, restlessness, and often a semi-spasmodic
condition.' She could not walk
without constant fear of falling, bpite of
the efforts of experienced physicians, she
grew no better, until I lost hojie and
looked for her death as her only relief.
Heady to grasp ot anything that promised
help, I bought a bottle of Life Essence,
and gave regularly. She is now, ofter five
L-u urumlilv imnroviiiff. ran stoop to the
floor and pick up a pin with certainty of
balance, walks firmly, and gives promise
of full recovery. Respectfully,
A. Downing, lm Angeics.
Dr. Irwin II. Elderldge, Baltimore,
Md., says: "I would recommend a trial of
Hrnwn'a Iron Bitter in all cases of anatnic
debility or when a tonic or appetizer is in
dicated." Annoint thyself with (Calorio Vita)
Oil. It will cure the worst pain.
Duiardin's Life Essence cures neuralgia
and nervous headache.
No safer remedy ran lie had for coughs
and colds, or any trouble of the throat,
than "Brown s Uroncbliil 1 rocties. rrice
25 cents. Sold only in boxes.
"Mother Swan's Worm Syrup," for
feverishness, restlessness, worms, consti
pation tasteless. 25 cents.
Duiardin's Life Essence makes the old
fed young again.
When was venison the cheapest ? When
the man paid too dear for a whistle.
A FORTUNE
Mnv be niado by hard work, but can
neither be made nor enjoyed without
health. To those lending sedentary lives
Dr. R. V. Pierce's "Golden Medical Dis
covery is a real iricim. n stimulates uie
liver, purines tne moon, ami is xne nest
remedy for consumption, which is scrofu
lous disease ot the lungs. Uy all druggists.
Any man who attempts to jiromince Ar
kansas without the "saw," should be put
out at once.
Dujardin's Life Essence positively cures
hysteria,, and all nervous affections.
HARKNESS FIRE EXTINGUISHES.
First premium Mechanics Institute, 1W3.
D. S. Brown & Co., general agents for Pa
cific Coast, HO California street, San Fran
cisco. The following letter explains itself:
J. N. Andrews, dealer in General Mer
chandise; Postmaster and Agent Weils,
Fargo & Co's Express.
Elk Grove, Sacramento Co., Col., 1
December , 1883. J
Messrs. D. S. Brown & Co.:
Gentlemen Please send me another
six-gallon Harkuess Fire Extinguisher as
soon as you can. I had occasion to use the
one I bought of you a short time ago.
Last night the hotel adjoiiilning my
store caught fire In the hallway to the sec
ond storv from the explosion of a lamp and
the building being cloth and paper was im
mediately on fire in Beveral rooms, but in
less than two minutes after getting the
extinguisher to work the fire was out.
As soon as this one arrives I will send
the otherone down and have it replenished.
Also please inform me if I cannot draw off
the fluid remaining in the tank and save
it for future use, or shall I send it as it is.
Yous, etc.. (Signed) J. N. Andrews,
THE GREAT GERMAN
REMEDY
FOR PAIN.
Relieves and cures
KHEUjIATIS!,
Neuralgia,
Sciatica, Lumbago,
BACKACHE,
HEADACHE, TOOTHACHE,
SORE THROAT,
QUINSY, 8WELUXG3.
SPBAINS,
Soreness, Cuts, Brulset,
FROSTBITES,
BFRNS, ttCALDS,
And all other bodily ache
and pains.
FIFTT CENTS A BOTTLE.
fcnldbTall DniKglstssnd
Deslers. Directum iu U
Uugiutge. . 9(1
Th Chirles A. Vogeier Co.
Mnt A. TOGKLUtOO.)
BtUlaars.BA.II.I.A.
The necessity
for prompt and ef
ficient household
remedies is dailv
growing more im
perative, and of
these HostcMer's
Stomach Hitters is
the chief in merit
a and the most dod-
ular. Irretrularity
- of the stomach
and bowels, mala
rial fevers, liver
1 complaint, debili
ty, rheumatism
and minor ail
ments, are thor
oughly conquered
it tins income,
ile family restor-
live and nieduin-
1 Baffin lord and
( t- t....i . . , - . F
ii. inju.-.u., rvtniniifi a ineTHiresi ana mosi coma
prehensive remedy of its cLn. Fur sale by all
Urugsists and Dealers generally.
i Miiij, )Mlmi
jlliflliOiSim j
4k
:j m j mm, - - m; c-
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