The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899, April 07, 1883, Image 6

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The bfauteout Klhl'i Cither has
Newly laintrd front iiua
lie baa a
When with toUonoJuloe tu tainted,
They hd tliat froul 4ih painlwt-
Tlial tainttd
l'nui ptintod.
AlgTon lld thai night. rchni
ArryM in eomnly eUkia pnU
That nlglil perckanc
In gorgKiui panU;
KngtRing Kiliol in t chit
On that W-
Tbry Ml.
And whi-n n hour or two bail Band,
Ho trlfd to riie, but, obi Muck faul
Fair Ktb'l ehriekwl, "II ! lbs paititl
And fainted In deadly hint
This winl
Did faint.
Aljpiron fcU there till lb it day
jie cnnol Ur birnaelf away
Hie pauU are linn, lha ntiul M dry
lla'i ootbiiiK clta to do but die
To diet
" 0. my I
3nnl over the border of the next yoar,
FcbruBi-y wu the month, and thi par
ticular February wa not very far away,
Philln Nansolt was to be married. lie
wa to merge hia qaiot, laboiou, bard-
rnrlinrr liu-linlnrhood into what PfOnj
ieod to be a much Jeea qniot and bard
wnrkinor life of weddod happinoM. Ilia
acnnainlunoe with Miss Malbon Russell
waa two year old, but iU youth waa not
Indicative ol lie warmiu anu atreugiu.
1U mat n( that class of lowver to
whom their profeaaon is an agreeable
one for itsoir, and by wnom it is not re
garded a stepping-stone to political
proferment or political Bpeeoh making.
Naturally fond of literature, he road
muoh and believed that thore were few
book whiuh would not benefit a lawyer.
And to from reading and study hia life
became a quint and retiring one. and hi
excursion into social atmosphere and
the aociety of young ladie and gentle
men were enjoyable because of their
rarity. He was not a bookworm, but ho
had a gravity wffleh twonty-even year
of lifo doe not usually bring with it.
lie teemed to . Ira just the kind of a
huxband for Mis Ruseell. Her fathor
wa of the opinion that she had chosen
well, and he said a muoh frequently to
hia wife. She thought otherwise Mis
Malbon boro ber mother' family name,
which after sundry contractions ami
toftoning had booonio "Mallie," and
Mallie it remained. Mr. Russell ideas
in regard to her duughter welfare wero
confided to the only person In whom she
had entire confidence and with whom she
had long and frequent conferences that
perion being herself.
"Mr. Russell," said hi wifo' moutal
Toico to it boon companion, her mental
car, "Mr. Russell is a very good hufband
and business man, but as the fathor of a
young girl who is both an heiress and a
beauty, I have but au indifferent opinion
of him. Mallie ho not ao vory muoh
money, to bo sure, but she has enough to
make her a very desirable wife, for her
money is her own. If (he waa a plain,
atay-at-homo girl it would not make so
muoh difference, but sho ia so pretty and
nice that it is a shame sho should marry
a lawyer who it a ioky old man before
he i thirty."
Wboo Mallie' engagoraont was first
talked of, Mr. Rnssoll opposed it
strongly, and even aftor it bocame a foot
ha did not cease her opposition. Tho
only result waa that Mallie thought her
mother at times was disagreeable, and
Fhilip wondered what he had done to
inenr her ill will. There was proa
poet that Mallie' good sense would be
swamped when she first came out social
ly, for ahe had a neat fortune whioh her
unole had left hor when a child, and
ahe wa fond of all the gaieties which
make up the life of tho average girl. Of
course alio waa flattered and petted and
wa in a fair way to be spoiled apparent
ly, but she came out of it all unscathed,
and at twenty-two was fitted to beoome a
wife whose family oirole would be hor
"ultima thule." Her groat fault was her
prido. It wo sensitive as a mimoaa leaf
and hard a glass, and though hidden on
ordinary occasion, it wa like maukind,
a it gained strength while it slept. She
was medium in boight, with largo gray
eye, light brown liair and clear com
plexion, and was graceful aud stroug.
There is a general iinproehion that
Pittsburg is only a huge workshop, a
aooty, dirty iron mill or glass factory,
from which people hurry away as soon as
they beoome sutUoiontly wealthy to admit
of it,
And yet within its corporate limit are
mile of orchards aa fragrant with apple,
caoU and pear blossom in the spring aa
those along the Hudson or In quaint old
Duohosa county, New York. There are
hundred of country residences with wide
lawns and cool clumps of forest tree
arouud them; little valleya ao wild that
the gray squirrel chatter among tho
outs anil chi-stnut, and arbut-ia bloom
among the fallen leave and molting
auow; where the underbrush it as douse
aa in one of Du Cbaillu' jungle, and
where the shy forest birds built their
nest with fearlos confidence that they
will not be robbed by marauding school
boy. Here the melancholy Jacqnea
ooiild wander with calm contentment,
unbroken by notioea of euburhau
property to be sold on easy terms, in lot
to suit purchaser; aud yet ho would be
within fifteen minute' rido of densely
populated, thronged and busy street,
which would have delighted the eockuey
taste of gentle Charles Lamb. It ia not
that the workshop of Fittsburg i small,
but that her city pleasure grounds wore
on a large scale.
Rambling walk and rido through
these out-of-the-way nook were Philip
chief recreation in the days before this
cogcmcnt. and through Uiut Ibey be
came one of Mallle's keenest pleasure
Kb liked to hear Fhilip talk of thing
which ahe only grasped in part, lor al
though far from being stupid or unread,
ahe waa a woman who thought she
ahould do much and ber husband should
know much.
"I wonder why people aay that people
who are in lot alwty nave trouble?
don't think it la Una."
They bad driven down aa unused,
grKrown ruad, far into lb woods, be
von 1 East Liberty one afternoon. Phil
ip's horse bad stopped of bis own accord
and wa gingerly" nibbling the bare
branches of a bush. Mallie wa in a very
quiet mood, and bad been for aeverel
minute watching the moke ourlup
from Fbilip'a oigar, until she poke the
thought which eeinea a nereay w uor.
"I believe," (he added in a pretty,
AWmaiin manner, and a suspicion of a
frown, "that it U because people art
weak or (illy that they are bothered by
thing when they fall in love. If a man
nd i wnmin care for each other and be
lieve they have chosen wisely, that ought
to end all worry. It may be romntio to
be worried, but it Urn't comfortable"
and then after a little pause "wen, wuy
don't you say aomething?"
"I heard vou ask a question, my dear,
replied Fhilip, placidly. "Rut, being a
woman. I knew yon would answer it
vnnrwlf if I did not interrupt you. I
thorefore waited until you satisfied me
that mr hvoothesi woorrect.nd inoe
then I have been wor-doring bow long it
would be before the ash foil from my
'"You are a conceited man," cried Mai
lio with a pout. "You think girl don't
know anything. You and your oigar are
"The cigar i prime," said unruffled
Fhilip; "a to the other clause of the in
dictment we are told that 'only man ia
Mallie' laugh wa pleasant to listen
to. and it wa frankly lortncoming at
what (he called "rump aosuruity.
But she returned to her subject aud said:
"I'm ure you and I would never have
any trouble. I would trust yon in every
thing, but if you were ever to doooive
me I would never want to aee you again."
"Amen, mv dear." said Fhilip. loyally,
and he kisvxl her and told ber she was a
very sensible little woman, and then he
drove homeward.
Said Mallio. demurely: "The Flay.
fori are to bave a party Thursday night,
Fhilip wa intent on making a clever
turn to avoid driving into two puddle,
and he said nothing.
'Madge Playford came to-day and in
sisted on my mooting ber New York
cousin, lor wnom me party uww
given" all in a matter-of-fact tone.
Fhilin looked a trifle vexed, but said
he hoped the would enjoy horsclf.
"I don t tee any reason for your look-
ins cross, my dear." siid Mallie, with a
quaint, combative air that the wore quite
prettily at limes.
"I am not cross, Mallie. I told you a
dar or two ao that I would be unusu
ally busy this weok, and could only aoe
you Thursday evening." Fhilip wm
selfish in the way all lover are.
"Well, and pray. Mr. crossness, wnat
baa that to do with the Flay ford'o party?"
then with a quick change of manner,
abe rested hor check against his shou 'dor
and said, "yon know I did not forgot
what you said, l torn Aia ige i uaa an
eugagument and could not go oh I you
will cruh my hat!" The warning wa
unnecessary, for altuougu I'binp a arm
was arouud hor, bo waa mindful of her
dsiuty, plumed hat in a manner not
known to mon gonerally.
"I am sorry you cannot come in and
stay for supper," (aid Mallie, when they
readied ner nome. "x uose tiresome oiu
law papers are a nuisanoo. Now, Fhil.,
be here early Thursday, for 1 shall be all
Aa narlr aa nnsaiblo after office hours
on Thursday Fhilip wa ready. As he
topped into hi buggy ho heard his
name called, and. turning, saw one of bis
friend with a young girl beside him.
"lou aro Inst the man l want lo soo,
NaHoett." said the gentleman, burriodly.
"I brought Nellie my daughter Mr.
Nassott I brought hor in, Fhilip, to go
to tho theater. I have jiiHt reoeivod a
message which call me to Cleveland and
I want you to drive Nellie out homo, like
a good follow. Will you? I bate to let
her go home alone and havo a long walk
up from the station.
Philip wa in a quandary. The young
lady 'a father, Mr.Thorne, had befriondod
him in many ways, and beside that the
cause of the dilemma waa very pretty
and evidently anxious to be escorted
home by hor lather a friend. I be mat
ter wa quickly arranged, and Fhilip ex
cused himself while he wrote a message
to Mallie which he sent to ber by his
oflloe boy. In lieu of note paper, he
nsod a card on which be wrote, "Have to
do something for Thorne," and then ou
the other side he added, "He want me
to drive his daughter home. I will be
with yon at half-past eight.
Mr. Thorne a residence wa fully five
mile away, out on the edge of town, and
Fhilip gradually forgot hi vexation and
annoyance, as lie discovered that his
companion wa a bright and full of fun
as she was pretty, she bad only been
home from school a short time, and aho
related some of hor adventures at a fash
ionable New York school, in a lively
manuor and with many animated gea-
turos, mimicries and drolleries. Fhilip
waa in nowise disloyal, but be wa not
entirely delighted wheu the drive was
ended aud ho said good night to his fair
Mallio bod iont the afternoon in visit
ing and shopping, aud bad remainod in
town later than she intended to. As she
was riding home she saw Fhilip drive by
in animated conversation with a very
pretty girl, who waa a stranger to hor,
and sue waa astouifdied and rather vexed.
Shortly after reaching home, Philip's
card came, and whon aho read it she
turned very white end felt sick. She
went up to her room and read the words
again: "I have to do something for
"It ia not true." she cried, "lie has
told me a doworiuht lie. I saw him
with that girl, and he seemed eujoying
himself. He has deceived me and I will
not trust bim again. I will not aoe him
to-night, for he might tell me another
lie and moke me bate bim worse than I
Hurrying down stairs. Mallie told the
servant that ahe expected a gentleman,
but she did not want to aee bim, and
thai ha must be told she wa not at
Fhilip drove up in front of the house,
rang the door bell, and wheu the girl
came to the door be stepped in and said,
in his cheerful way, "I wiah you would
tell 8am to take mv horse around to the
"Yea. air," tammered tho girl, "but
Mis Mallia is not home."
"Not home?" echoed Fhilip, in won
der. "No, air."
"Where is she?"
The girl folt that aha wa getting into
eorner. to the said boldly, "She ia out
and she said he would not b home to-
"'Thoroughly astonished, Philip slowly
walked down the teps and drove away,
wondering what bad happened.
"It can't be that (he wa angry because
I was late," he muttered. "She ia too
eensible a girl for that. I'll find out what
it all meana in the morning."
And ha did. It waa but little sleep
Mallie got that night. She cried till her
bead ached a if it would split, and then
ahe aat looking out of her window think
ing it all over. The more bhe thought of
what bad happened the trooger became
ber indignation and contempt for Philip,
and very early next dy (he wrote to
"I have been entirely miataVen in you,
Mr. Nasaett, and I find that it ia best for
girl to listen to ber motber'a advioe, as
to men. I ahall send you your letter
and that will end everything. If yon
have any gentlemanly instinct you will
not eek to intrude upon me, bat will
treat me as if yon had never known
This wa what Phillip found at bis
oflloe. It so unsettled bim that be oould
not work, and be wont to ask for an ex
planation. He was told that Mies Rus
sell had gone out of town on a visit.
It was week after wheu they met, and
then Mallie' cool bow was returned in
kind br Fhilin. His trouble bad told
upon him sharply, but no one knew what
he felt, for be was not a man to bave con
fldaot. He saw Mallie at rare intervals,
and then only in passing on the street.
In December be heard she wa to bo mar
ried, and when a mutual friend confirmed
the story he sbnt his teeth tightly and
aaid nothing. A few daya later he was
told that Mrs. Russell was very ill and
no( expected to live. Two days before
Christmas he found a bulky letter among
bis mail, which waa addressed in a lady's
writintr. He opened it carelessly, but as
lie read it he thought he would suffocate.
It waa from Mr, llussoll, and it saiu:
"Mallie wrote these lotters to you, but
aa I did not think you two were suited
for each other I did not send them. She
does not know it and she must not, for
ahe is to be married on Christmas day.
I am sorry I did it, but thought it best
Enolosed were two letters, written
when Mallie came home from her flight
after she bad broken her engagement.
The first one rood: "Phil, doar Phil,
come at once. I have made a dreadful
mistake and want you to forgive your
loving Mallie."
The second note was longer, and bore
a date two day later man me omer;
"Oh! Fhil, why don't you come? I am
broken-hearted. Will yon novor forgive
me? I did wrong, but listen to me. I
only read one aide of your card. It said
that yon had to do somothing for Mr.
Therne and oould not come to see me. I
taw you driving with a girl I did not
know, and I thought you had deceived
me. I did not know wnat you meant
nntil I came home, and then I looked at
the card again and saw what was on the
other tide. Fhil. dear, you can't be
angry when you know bow I bave suf
fered. Do. do oome and say I am for
given, and am, a I always was, your own
In a postscript, as though the girl's
mood had changed, ahe added: "If yen
don't come I will not write again."
Stunnod and bewildered, Philip read
the notes and re-read them, and then he
broke down and nttorod savage curses
on the woman who wo dying. When he
calmed a little and began to think what
it all meant, he thought be would at once
see Mallie, but he did not go, for he re
membered ber wedding day but lorty-
eight hours distant.
It was not nntil long alter midnight,
whon he was in bis own room, that be
determined upon the courso he would
take. He folded Mallie't poor little,
piteous, ill-fated notes together within
Mrs. Russell' letter and placed them all
in an envelope, which he addressed to
Mallio, using the name she would assume
on the day whon she wo a wife. Then
on a dip of paper ho wrote "Mallie 'a
Christinas and wedding prosont from
Philip," and this bo put within the notos
bofore he sealed tu envelope, lie as
tonished the oflloe boy by making his ap
pearance at eight o'clock the following
morning. "Take this early to-morrow to
the person to whom it i addressod,"
aoid Fhilip, giving the boy the lotter he
had written the night before, "and if any
one calls to soo me, say I have gone East
on business aud will not be back for a
couple of weeks."
Just as Thilii) was stepping on. the
train to take his departure, a mussenger
pulled his coat-sleeve, and, turning
quickly, a note waa placed in hi hand.
Opening it he saw, to his astonishment,
it wa from Mallie. It seems that his
oflloe boy, iustoad of waiting until tho
noxt day, had carried tho note at once.
Tho situation flashed through Mallie'
mind. Everything was now explainod.
To morrow she was to lie the bride of a
man she did not love. Her mind was
made up in au instant. She sent by
the boy a note to Fhilip, and he arrived
just as Philip was boarding the train.
All thero was in the noto was "Philip,
come to me at once." And Fhilip did
oome. lie mot her a moment later, and
she sprang forward to meet him. It is
not necessary to ropeat what followed.
It whs only the tame old story of con
fession and forgiveness. It will not be
necessary to say her wedding did not
take place on the following day, and the
man whom ahe was to have wedded "got
left;" but aa the marriage was more of
Mallie' mother' marking, he readily
acquiesced in what be well knew wo a
more pleasant arrangement.
The test of good farming ia found in
the thorouffhnesa with which every scrap
of manure ia oloaned from the barnyard,
at least twice a year for the use of crop.
A considerable Quantity oi manure win
accumulate during the aummor, and ia
best applied as tou-drossins for auch
wheat or grasa aa ia to ue pioweu next
... . a
A varv fuhionabla material for dress V
nel. trimmed wun long loop ana enu
m ... m .. 1
f whit mnint or satin ribbon.
Vnr vnnnv marrift.1 ladle thl fabric i
made into tea sown and Grecian robes,
with inmrninn ol lac and white an.
embroidery or braiding.
Tba ailver brocade dree worn by the
Csarina at the coronation ia ao richly
embroidered with ailver that the train
alona weigha almost twenty five pound.
The ermine lining for the Imperial pas
tela consist of skin.
A Bpeclnirn Boy.
One dsy I sat in a oar Beat on the
Saugus Branch of the Eastern Road be
hind a pale, careworn lady who waa tak
ing a little boy from Boston to Maiden.
A the little boy wa of a very inquiring
mind, and everything aeomed to attract
hia attention, I could not help listening
to aome of his question. .....
"What' that, auntio?" the little boy
commenced, pointing to astackofiiay
on the marsh. .
"0, thafa hay, dear," answered the
careworn lady.
"What is hay, auntie?"
"Why, bay is bay, dear.
"But what ia hay mado of ?
"Why, hay is made of dirt and water
and air."
"What makes it?"
"God make it, dour."
"Does He make it in the day time or in
the night?"
"In both, dear."
"And Sundays?"
"Yes, all the time."
"Ain't it wicked to make bay on Sun
day, auntie?"
"Oh, I don't know. I'd keep still,
Willie, that's a dear. Auntie is tired."
And after remaining quiet a moment,
little Willie broke out: ,
"Where do stars oome from, Auntie?
"I don't know; nobody knows."
n;.l ilia mnnu lav 'em?"
"Ye. I guess toreplied the wicked
MSi .. .
"Can the moon lay eggs wo:
"I suppose so. Don't bother me."
A short silence, when Willie broke out
8in: . . , ...
Bonny says oxins is an owi, aunue; u
"O, perhaps eoi
"I think a whale oould lay eggs, don t
you, auntiev
, ..... ,
(I ye i guess so, saia tne suarue-
less woman.
Did you ever see a whale on bis
"O. I guess so."
"I mean no. Willie, you must be
quiet; I'm getting crazyL
"What makes you crazy, aunuer
"0, dear, you ask so many questions."
"Did you ever tee a little fly eat
"Yes, dear."
"Willie, sit down on the seat and be
still or I'll shake you. Now, not another
And the lady pointed her finger sharp-
It tn the little bov. as if she was ffoinff
to stick it through him. If she had been
a wicked woman she would have sworn.
There are 8.000.000 little boys like
Willie in the United States. Brockton
The Cashier Ahead.
A new bank which had been establisheJ
in a town in Indiana had engaged the
services of a watchman who came well
recommended, but who did not seem
over-experienced. The president, there
fore, tent for him to post him a bit, and
"James, this is your first job of this
kind, isn't it?"
"Yes, sir."
"Your first duty must be to exercise
"Yes, sir."
"Be careful how strangers approach
"I will, sir.
"No strangers must be permitted to
enter the bank at night under any pre-
toxt whatever.
"No, sir."
"And our cashier he is a good man.
honest, reliable and thoroughly trust
worthy, but it will be your duty to keep
an eye on him."
'But it will be hard to watch two men
and the bank at the same time, air."
"Two men how?
"Why, air, it was only yesterday that
the cashier called me in for a talk, and
he said yon were the squarest man in
Indiana, but it would be just as well to
keep both eye on you and lot tho direc
tors know if you bung around' after
houra '" Wall Street News.
How Forrest Regained His Property.
A singular fact has lately come to light
in connection with the late Edwin For
rest, whioh possesses more than ordinary
interest. Pending the divorce proceed
ings between Mr. and Mrs. Forrest, the
great actor deeded all of his estate to bis
three sisters, giving each an equal share.
Subsequently one of them died without
iisue, and her Bhare of the estate reverted
to her two sisters and JLdwin. The seo-
ond sister died shortly afteward without
issue, and hor share of the estate, with
what bud been left her by the first sister
dead, reverted to Edwin and the remain
ing sister. Not long after this the third
sister died, and, as Edwin was the only
heir, by her doath, again beoame pos
sessed of the property he had deeded
away. This hot was discovered when
the administrator sold the Broad and
Master street property. The purchasers,
iu hunting over the records in the regis
ter's office, discovered that Forrest had
come into possession of this property the
second time ty inheritance, and through
the auditor-general's oflloe at Barrisbnrg
learned that by calculation, after the de
partment had been placed in possession
oi ine ueis, mo esiaie wo luueDiea to
the state about 8300 collateral inherit
ance tax, which waa paid. Philadelphia
Uusbani's of Four Kinds.
The point decided by the Queen's
Bench division in the very recent case of
Boll against Mocker will, notwithsUnd
ing the Married Women'a Propety act
passed in tlie recent Parliament, retain
ita importance for many yeara to come,
since the fourteenth section contains an
express provision that nothing contained
in tnat act shall operate to increase or
diminish the liability cf any husband
married before the commencement of the
act: -The point waa this: Can a widower
be held liable for a debt incurred by a
deceased wile previous to their marriage,
the marriage having taken pi aoe subse
quently to the 30th of July. 187-1. the
date of the Married Women' Property
act, (1870) amendment act, 1874. This
question of the huaband ' liability for
hia wife ante nuptial debt is on in
which the year of the marriage make all
the difference. Previously to 13 (0
man waa liable tor hia wife's ante-nuptial
I debt, whether be bad or bad not received
1 property with her, but only when sued
bintly with ber. Then came the Mar-
ried Women' Property act, low, wmcn
entirely took away the right or auiDg
husbands married aiter iu "uu
debts, leaving the wife't separate eatate
to bear the liability. Then the amend
ment act of 1874 made a fresh rule of
liability, enacting that huaband mar
ried after that act ahould only be liable,
for inch debts when sued jointly with
their wive, and then only to the amount
of the property which they actually re
oeive with the latter, or ought to have
received but for thoir own neglect or
fraud. Lastly, the new act of 1882 leavea
women married after that act and their
separate estates primarily liable for their
ante-nuptial dolts, and provides that
husband are liable for auch debts to tne
extent of property belonging to tneir
wive whioh they have acquired or be
come entitled to from or through the
Utter, and it further provide tuai nus-
band and wife may he sued jointly, if it
(sought to establish a claim against
hnth nf them. Thus there are four
classes of husbands those married be
fore 1870, those married between 1870
and 1874, and those married betweeu
1874 and 1882-and the right of each
class are different. The question in the
Bell case against Stocker affected the
right of the third class, and it waa held
that, inasmuch as husbands in that clots
csn be made liable for their wivea ante
nuptial debts in an action in wuioii tney
are aned iointlv with the latter, whioh
condition can be no longer fulfilled after
the wive deaths, their liability comes
to an end at the latter event. ijonuon
St. Paul. Minnesota, has just organ
ized its fourth Congregational church.und
Minneapolis its sixth.
A Provisional Commission is forming
in Germauy to promote the extension of
Old Catholicism in Silesia.
Thirty new Methodist churches have
been built in Northern Michigan within
the last Conference year.
Thore are in Pennsylvania 578 Baptist
ohurchos, 65,879 members, with a net
increase over all loses of AH I.
The Pope, in a letter to Cardinal Mo-
Cabe, constitutes the clergy the guar
dians of the people of Ireland.
The committee of the Presbyterian
Synod contemplate the extension of their
mission to tne-Jews in xjomion.
Rev. Thomas Harrison claims 650 con
verts as the result of his seven weeks' re
vival work, in Decatur, Illinois.
The Congregationalists nt Petersham,
Mass., have cloned their church for the
winter and worship with the Baptists.
Cincinnati bos a church for every
1253 inhabitant, outranking in this re
spect all the large cities in the country.
The Emperor and Empress of Ger
many have subscribed liberally toward
the erection of a new English church in
The new Archbishop of Canterbury,
Dr. Benson, Bishop of Truro, will be
formally euthroned at Canterbury on the
3d of April.
The Synod of the Reformed church in
France, which mot reoently in Paris, op
pointed committees to prepare a new
liturgy and catechism.
Our Lord God doth work like a print
er, who setteth the letters backwards; we
see and feel well his setting, but we
shall see the print yonder, in the life to
come. Martin Luther.
It takes a lifetime to build a character;
it takes only one moment to destroy one.
How sensitive is righteousness, how re
sontf al is the spirit of purity and noble
ness! Joseph Parker.
There is nothing so graciously inclin
ed toward us as God and our conscienoe,
because no other knows the manner in
which things happen within us, and the
inner workings of our souls. Rahel
She Didn't Die.
All in the fashionable world, Bays tho
London Life, will remember that some
months ago a charming and accomplished
yonng lady met with a frightful accidont
through her dress catching fire. So
severe were her injuries that life was
despaired of.the and officiating olerygman
of a well known West End church was
sent for to administer spiritual consola
tion to one believed to be moribund. To
him the lady said:
"As I know that I am dying I havo a
secret I will disclose to you only. I love
you with my whole heart."
iho piompt reply was:
"You must not die, but live to be my
I am glad to add that this week the
lady was married to the object of her
Heavy tragedian at railway hotel
Prithee, landlord, dwell there within
the preoincta of this hamlet a machin
ist?1 Landlord A machinist? Yes, sir.
Tragedian Then take to bim this bird
of many springs. Bid bim wrench
asunder these iron limbs, and then, for
our regalement, to chisel slices from its
unyielding bosom for we would dine
anon, and pray you, do it quiokly. Yon
peas you need not carry, for those, with
dextrous management, we can swallow
whole. Away!
Mrs. Jones wished her bov to be named
John Frederick, while the father signi
fied a preference for Edward Gordon.
Determined to have her way. she clan
destinely procured the baptism of the
child under tne name ahe had selected
T ..1
jone procured we revocation and an
nulment of the christening through the
oisuop ol the diocese, and Edward Gor
don was officially made the name. Not
withstanding this, the mother persists in
calling him John Frederick, and thereby
causes a uuicago suit lor divorce.
The longest bridge in the world is in
China, it is at Lagang, over an arm of
the China sea, and ia five mile Ion tr. sev
enty feet in height, with a roadway sev
enty feet wide, and is bnilt entirely of
none ana naa tnree hundred arches
I he parapet it a balustrade and each of
tne pillars, which are seventy-five feet
SDart, supports a pedestal on which is
placed a lion twenty five feet long, made
vi one diocs oi mar Die.
When man goes to law he does not
atop to count the coat He leave the
clerk of the court to do that, and aa a
iw none oi me item are omitted.
A pair of slippers Orange and banin
tkins. u
Wanted A new advertising dodge f0,
actreases. . "
Good advice like vaccination, doe,,
nlwAfl 'fair A
Lansruacre of
the flowera You ha
blowed. Life.
It is thought that the tax on chewinff
gum will stick.
It ia now fashionable to speak of tii
night robe as the cap sack.
One way to give a man "a chance to
rise in the world" knook him down.
A Western newspaper think the tall
flat in New York hould be called ere
matories. Fannie: Too are right. It i bett
to retnrn a kiss for a blow. And a good
deal sweeter.
au excuauge onus, mn me coming
woman work?" She will if ahe marries
lazy husband.
How appropriate are names! Oarmni.
that hays to be staffed out with cotton
are called tights. , , ,
"Temptation" is the name of a sal.
in Troy. A great many men are led into
it. Detroit Free Press.
The New York Commercial Advertiser
says: "wnen a lexaa man gets religion
be swears off keno for a weok."
Cato did not begin to learn the OrmV
anguage nntil be was eighty-four vean
of age. Cato was mighty level-headed
The readiness with whioh the foot of
modern man taketh bim to the club
would go far to prove that man is bv m.
ture olub-footed. ...
A little New Hartford turee-year-oM
boy, in admiring bis baby brother, ex.
claimed: "He's got a boiled head, hit
papa. Cleve Herald.
Maine Bold $125,000 worth of scrnM
gum this year. The number of jaws that
wagged in mastioating the stuff ia not
yet reported. N. Y. Com.
The eye is sometimes called the win
dow of the soul, consequently a black
eye must be a stained window. Phila
delphia Chronicle-Herald.
Colonel Ingersoll assumes to lecture
about hell. Let him wait fifty yean or
so, and he'll he heap better qualified to
talk on that subject. Boston Post.
A man who had climbed Mount Blanc
seven times in safety was killed the other
day while trying to go up a step-ladder.
Is prudenoe any nse. Boston Post.
The weather ia never cold enough to
compel the chap with a paste ring to
wear a glove on the band adorned by the
incandescent jewel.--N. Y. Com.
A Yermont man who is applying fori
pension says he distinguished himself by
staying at home during the war. hverj
body else in the village went to Canada,
A reckless genius with a talent for re
search has discovered that the presiding
officer of a caucus ia called "tho chair,"
beoause everybody likes to sit down on
President Carter of Williams College
represents himself in his removal from
Connecticut, where he was born, to Mas
sachusetts, as a "nutmeg coming to the
A question for lawyers If a flea bites
dog. and so en races the animal that
the dog bitos a man, can the flea be in
dicted as an accessory before the fact?
Bob. Trans.
A Philadelphia baker is having a new
oven bunt, wuion lie minis wm Deat
the world. It is modelled altera modern
hotel, only the central flue has no elevt
tor in it.
Professor Julien asserts that the brown
stone houses of New York will entirely
orumble away in less than one thousand
years, so ruinous is our atmosphere.
That settles it. We shall not built t
brownstone house. It wouldn't be
France is said to be going to the dogi,
owing to a lack of statesmen. We htTt
always shown great liberality tothe people
of the Old World in distress. Why not
load up a ship with surplus American
statesmen and send them over to suffer
ing Franoe with our compliments? Ex
change. ,
A judge having fallen asleep during
trial, Lawyer X. suddenly ceased plead
ing, and exolaimed: "I will wait until
his Honor wakes before finishing.
'But," answered the opposing eounsei,
'perhaps his Honor will wait until J0
have finished before waking.
taught iu one lesson; termi, one dollar.
He cot a large class on the opening
night, and. after they were seated wa
the dollars rushed in, he said: 'lie
whole art of book-keeping hinges on
three words Never lend them. 1
Judge. (
A drillmaster at the Naval Academy,
waa a determined stutterer. One day w
was drilling a sauad of cadots who were
marching toward the Severn. As they
neared the sea-wall the lieutenant
attempted to halt them. The word hung
fire. Overboard the misohievous caiieis
went. The lieutenant took the precau
tion to tell hia men the next time ne uw
not get ' halt" out they need not go over
board. In South Australia apologies are no
made in any half hearted spirit, as
shown by this advertisement in a Mel
bourne paper: "I, Charles Doney oi
Dolkey, farmer, hereby apologize to w
Hugh Stephens of Elizabeth street.
Norwood, for the insulting, vile, sianu
oub language I used toward him on V&
7, 1882 at Dalkey, the same being witbont
foundation. Charle Doney. -Witne
Thomas Hancock Thomaa.
Why Thkt Yelled. "What on earin
makes you announce that you ex""
teeth without pain? Didn't I hear eterj
patient yon bad np here yell?" . ri
"You did. air," replies the PP
dentist, "but those were shrieks oi Ji
which they uttered, eirl They were w
delighted, air, at being P"nle8Siyh
lieved that they could not reeiram -enthusiosm."
"Say, why is a hawk like an editor r
said our spring poet, pensively,
other day. . '
"Because he soars aloft in the N
empyrean, and"
"Stop. That ain't it."
"Then why?" ,
"Because be lives by hi talons.
They have laid him gently to !
where the weary are at rest, and
hills are an unknown quantity.