TUE rUANTOM BUIP.
t. w. d iorT.
Vfe aUxvt on tli haunted lelaiid,
We lUxxi by (lie Inutile! bar;
The tUrs were all over the akyiaud,
Hut the moon bad loitered sway.
The light of the Oilier boatl gllromwd,
Tbe beacon glowod Heady aiidred,
Tba calm Ma ioilf ibiromered
Like the eye of oDa who it dead.
Tben, all alina on tba ocean,
Iba ghoat of tba iilund came
The gtxiet of a veeasl in motion,
The gluitl of a veaael of flame.
It bmie with vaporoue brighlneei
A glamour of tremuloui ryi
It wai not fire, but tbe whiumcju
Of ght of a periabed ble.
We watehod it with all our rUion,
We wafc;lied it doubting and dumb ,
We bad beard of the thing with derision,
But we lurolr bubeld it come.
We aaw it glide o'er the water,
A pliiouim of pallid fire;
We aaw it tumble and totter
To ruin, and then flub higher.
Again ami again to leeward
lie gbniily rigging fell o'er;
At lax, far away to seaward,
It lixindered.and wee no more.
We had wakhed it with all our viaion,
Wa had waubed It with eye and glaae ;
And gone were doubt and derision,
For turtly we aaw it paw.
Throufh many a winter and aummer,
At tlie aunt of the ialand kuow,
The t loam of tbit gboatly eoiunr
llaa protibeeied itonn and woe.
Th ia ghort of great tb ree meater
Winch went in the day of yore
To full and fiery diiaalor
liight off the Wotk Island ahore.
TIIS OBIAT rLAtil'L.
Nina, Ids and Jock Grant wore three
lately children, residing inenost of a
cottage fanned by breezes from tlio beau
tiful Mohawk. They were an happy as
bobolink and aa bimjr aa boon, all the
day long. Ida and Nina were twin.
Their kind mother had provided them
with an abundance of toy a. The little
girls' taste ran to dolls, aa little girls'
tastes generally run; and being fond of
large families, they hud aa many as forty
dolls, largo and small, rug and China,
between them. You may be sure that
they had a great many visitors to share
their sports. It was roally amusing to
watch them play. One day, when there
were two or three little girls spending
the afternoon with them, Ida, a grave,
original creature, proposed a new play:
"Let's have a funeral."
" What do you mean T We don't un
derstand," oriod the children, with one
voice.
"I'll toll you. Home one must
die, and it shall be my big doll Kitty."
"Yes; we'll have her so sick the doctor
can't cure her, try all he can," assented
Nina.
"So we will, and we will give her cas
tor oil, and picra, and pills, just as our
mothers do us, sometimes," said Emma
Towers, with a oomical gosture of dis-
?;ust, and a half nauseated, half radiant
ace.
"And then, by and by, wheu sho is
dead, we'll lay bor out, as they did grand
mother Bridges," put in Busy Colby.
"Won't it be real fun," askod Emma,
giving two or throe hops acrosa tlio
room.
"You mustn't talk s6; it ain't the way
to behave whon folks are siok and dyiug.
It don't look well," said Ida, with tLo
Koleninity becoming a rniuiatnro hearse.
"I won't then, but we are only making
believe."
"Yes, I know; but we want it to seem
real."
The children were very busy for the
next hour making a colli n out of an old
pasteboard box they found in the garret,
and preparing monrning garment for
the numerous relatives of the doooasod.
At last their preparations were all com
plete. The mother doll lay shrouded in
white in her collln, and all tho small
mourners wore ranged around it, accord
ing to the nearness of thoir kinship. Ida
held the responsible position of preacher,
the other little girla choir and congrega
tion. Ida gave out a hymu gravely :
"Dolly, thou waat mild and lovely,
(ientle ai aauinmer braeae."
"and tbe plure, and tbe oordlal
Uare dne bar dead at nure aa fleas,
sing, Tral Is la, tral la la la la hoo.
The last part of tho stanza was chir
ruped by a gay, mocking voice, and the
voice came from a olosot near at hand.
"It is Jack," said the children, very
crestfallen indeed.
"Yes, it is Jack," repeated the boy,
issuing forth. "Why didn't yon invite
me to be preacher or something, Ida r '
His eyes danced with fun and bis head
dipped so lww that he oamo near losing
his balance.
"You always spoil our fun, you great
plague !" said Nina.
"Dear 1 I wish there woreu't any
trays," said Emma.
' "lloys aro better than girls any day,
- and know more," quoth Jack. "But, to
go bock to your troubles. 'Who'll dig
the grave? I, aaid the owl, with my
spado aud my shovel, and I II dig the
grave.' "
"Go away, or I'll tell mother. I thiuk
you are too bad to act so."
"You thiuk I am too bad to act so. I
am just bad enough to do it, Ida."
"Uo away, I say!" indiguautly. .
"doing, going.gone," Ukmg a suddoo
leap through the wiudow, aud disap
pearing arouud an angle of the house.
It was some time ere the little girls
could recover their equanimity so as to
be able to go on with the funeral; and
indeed, Ida did not recover it entirely
but occasionally looked over her shoul
der apprehensively while prouounoiug,
her eulogy over the remains of poor
Dolly. Atlastthe sermon was ended,
and the sad procession got into line of
march for the place of interment. Ida
beaded it as minister; Emma Powers
and Husie Colby came next, bearing the
coflin, and Nina drew an old buby car
riage coutaiuing the thirty-nine mourn
er. It bore a strikiug resemblance to
the remarkable shoe the old woman and
her numerous progeny contrived to in
habit. The procesaion moved slowly on
to the garden, and would have moved
silently, too, if Ida bad not looked back
and beheld Jack stalking along behind
with a piece of crape Booting from his
bat, and shrouded from bead to foot in
an old black shswl. A soon aa b be
came aware of the observation, he began
to tear his hair and wail violently.
"Ion great plague?"
"You mean boy!"
"I gueea I've a right to feel bad when
one of the family dies," (sot), sob, sob,)
aaid Jack, making frantic gestures of
grief.
"Jon only do it to bother ns."
"Don't you think I have a heart to
fcsl as well as you?"
"Jlut you don't feel bad a bit."
"IIow do you know?"
"O.dear! if too provoking. We'll
stop playing entirely, if jou don't lot ns
alone. Jack."
"And leave the corpse unburiod I I'll
leave instantly then; but it is harl that I
am donied even the privilege of going
even as a mourner. Good-by." Ana
again Jack was off.
It wits no part of his plan to stop the
nlsv. for it would end his fun also. -
The irlrls went on with funeral alter a
short delay in the proceedings. Dolly
was consigned to the grave that was
hastily dug for her under the overhang
log branches of a neighboring tree. After
covering her with dirt and sods, the
children left her and went into the
house to partake of a nice sapper Mrs
Grant hsd prepared for them.
While his sinters and their companions
were so engaged, Jack made himself very
busv Indeed, as they found on returning
to the play-room. On the closet door
afore mentioned was written with chalk,
in round. school-boy hand, the following;
"Don t open the door during my ab
sence. It boms a secret you must out
fathom. Whoever dares disobey my
mandates forfoita her head.
Bluebeard."
"It's Jack's doings," said Ida.
"I know, bnt I wonder what he's up
to now," said Emma, with a touou of
true feminine curiosity.
"We'll soon find out."
Thov tried the door at once. It was
locked, bnt on a chair near at hand was
a key with a piece of papor attached.
"Don't use this, to your sorrow," was
the warning it held.
The door was quickly ajar, and there
wore the ttiirty-niue dolls strung up by
thoir necks ou separate hooks.
"Triod. found guilty and promptly
exocutod," was written over them.
"O. dear! did you evor see such a
plsgue?" thov all oriod with one voioo.
The next thing in order was a simul
taneous rush to the garden, to see what
other mischief had boon perpetrated. A
tombstone manufactured out of a board
stood at the bead of Dolly's grave. It
was lettered thus:
"And Kitty is not, for Jock took her."
"There, did you ever see such a boy."
Thev removed the sods and dirt and
found Dolly's coffin empty as they sus
pected. In it was anothor paper: "Room
to let; oooupunt gone abroad for health."
You may be sure duck was on nana
now. looking fleroe. and brandishing a
rusty 'jack-knife menacingly. lie had
been watching them from a convenient
hiding place, and chuokling to himself,
and this moment ho regarded as the fit
ting one in which to make his appear
ance.
Now see what tho sins of curiosity
and disobedience have brought you to.
Who dies first?"
"Where is Kitty. Jack?"
' Mv name is Bluebeard," he said,
scowling.
Ida and .Nina went to thoir mothor,
crying.
"What Is tho trouble?'
"It is Jack. Come aud soo what he
hss done."
As the thirty -nine little unfortunates
draped in black mot Jier eyes, Mrs. Grant
found it impossible to resist a sinilo, but
she looked somewhat displausod, never
theless, ..
"Jack, my son!"
"Mothor?" with an rnxious glance.
"What made you?"
"Ida Is so fond of funerals, and makes
such a famous preaoher, I thought I'd
give htr a smart ohanoo to exercise bor
abilities. Thirty-nine corpses iu thirty
mue cofllns why, ahe can enjoy a whole
graveyard.
'I wish we dldn t nave any brothor.
said Nina and Ida, with thoir eyes full of
tears. "Husio's brothor Joe don't act so,
does ho, Susie?" w
"No," said Buhio.
Jack was vory tender-hearted, and
didn't intend to make his sisters cry.
"Don t, girls, and 1 won t be so bad
again I think I won't anyway. If you'll
stop crying I'll give you Jim."
Nina and Ida smiled through thoir
tears. Jim was a very blaok orow, Jack
one put and favorite, and they knew it
. in . .I .1 -I a I i
was almost uaeoutuug ou uis ngutuuuu
to part with him.
'Wed rather you d tell uswbore my
doll Kitty is than to have Jim," replied
Ida. restored to good humor.
"bho is in your truudlobod, replied
Jack1
"Come with mo, my son, aaid Mrs,
Grant; "I want to talk with you.
When they were alone: "I am sorry
you are such a great plague, Jack. It
is wroug to tcaso your sisters so.
His two arms wore arouud her neck,
and a rousing smack foil on her lism,
while bis head, with his thiuk, dark
curls, rested on her shoulder.
"It is awful hard work to be good,
mother; but 1 11 try.
And so it always oiubd. Jack sorry
and full of good promises for tho future,
she more in love with him than ever.
He was so generous, tine tempered and
gay that uono coul I help loving hira. In
smte of his teasing propensities, he was
the darling of the household. It could
hardly Ixi called naughtiucss, because his
love oi the fun was nover malicious or
cruel in its outward expression; it was
simply an etTervosenco a bubbling over.
It is because he ia favorite of ours, in
spite of his faults, that we have written
out these trilling iucidents in the life t f
"that great plague" for the amusement
oi utile people.
A point iu etiquette recently decided
Iswsuit in a queer way. A traveler on
German railwsv train attempted to eat
lunch while ou the journey. While put
ting a piece of Bologne sausage in his
moutu the train suddenly etopHd, can
ing his cheek to be badlvcut on the elir
of the knife which he was using, 'ihe
man sued ids company for damages, bnt
his claim was not sustained, on tha
ground that it is a broach of etiquette to
eat trim a solfe.
Tha floods ia the Ohio are charged np
to the denuding of tbe Allegheny moun
tains of their forests, causing a sudden
melting of the snows. It is in these
mountain that tho Monongabela and
I Allegheny rivers, which unite to form
' ma Unto, take their risa.
1be Course ufTroe love.
"Tell Bervl to come here."
The Lady Agatha I'relmghuysen spoke
these words in lua commsuaing, aooi
sive. I-will-tret-there-or break-a-suspen
der tone that was habitual to her, but
as Mud Lake Maude, who had been a
faithful servitor of the I'relmghuysen
for forty years, and bad aeen awry! grow
from a cooing babe to a splendidly-beau
tiful woman, turned away, she fancied
that the lips of her mistress quivered
slightly, and that her breath came in
nuick irasDS.
"It may have been carrying the bucket
of coal upstairs," said Maude softly to
horself as she liurrion away so oney tne
mandate given her, "bnt I fear that my
lady's emotion hath another and more
serious cause, ana thai uoryi, wuom x
oft have tossed in thoso arms, will think
she has struck a blizzard bolt when the
old lady begins to paw the air."
Just then Maude fell over a coal
scuttle that had been carelessly left in
the corridor, and on rising met ISoryl,
intently reading a note.
"Your mother would speak with you,"
said Maude, and then, to conceal the
sorrow that filled her boBom, she began
eating an apple.
"Do you wish to see me. mamma?
asked Beryl, tripping lightly into the
room where her mother was seated.
"Yes. my child," was tho reply, "I
fain would speak with you on a mutter
that doth nearly concern your future
hapniners your marriugo."
The girl shrank back instinctively,
and the happy look faded from the
pretty blue eyes. Plunging her right
band impulsively into her pocket she
discovered that the last letter from
Vivian Perkins, the man whom she loved
with all the passionate intensity of a
last-chance affection, was still there.
Her aecret was sufo.
"I am ready." she said to her mother,
in rospectful tones, which ever charac
terized her speech,"to hoar you twitter."
"I kuow," said tho mother, speaking
calmly, "of your love for Vivian Per
kins.'1 Beryl's corns were throbbing now, but
she mastered her emotion bravely, and
gave no outward sign cf the great battle
that was being waged in bor soul.
'You wish to marry this man said
tha Lady Agatha.
"I do. replied ueryi, "and nothing
but his word, hi act, shall ever keep me
from his side. I love Vivian with a wild,
four-traok-and-a"sleeporon--overy-train
love that will brook no restraint, and
some day, even though the fiery jaw of
bell itsolf were opened to stop me, I
shall be bis bride."
"I know all this," said the mother; "I
know that you will marry Vivian, and I
have but one request to make."
"What is it?" asked the girl.
"It is," said tho Lady Agatha, "that
you will arrango the nuptials as soon as
possible."
"liut why? asked the daughter.
"Because," wa the reply, "I am
thinking of making a similar break my
self." Chicago Tribune.
Tho Painlessness of Death.
At birth tho babe undorgoes an ordeal
that, wore he oonsoions, would be more
trying than a most painful death; yet ho
foels it not. Born in an nnoonsoious
stato, the brain incapable of receiving
oonsoious impressions, his entrunoe into
this hitherto unknown world is accom
plished during a state of oblivion, known
as nature's aniesthesia.
"Palnlewly we oome. whence we know not
Paiuleulr we go, wbllher we know not."
From the earliest period of human his
tory death has been considered as neces
sarily acoompanied by pain. So general
is this belief, that the terms "death
agony," "lust struggle," "pangs of
death, etc., have been in almost univer
sal nse in every ago and under all condi
tions of sooiety. Nothing can bo more
erroneous; the truth is, pain and death
soldom go together we moan the last
momont of life. Of course, death may
be preoeded by weeks or even month of
extreme suffering, as occurs during cer
tain inourable diseases.
8o exaggerated has boon this notion
that it ha boon considered an aot of hu
manity to anticipate the "doath-strug
glo" by violence; forages it was custo
mary among tho lowor clussos of Europe
to hasten death by suddenly jerking the
pillow from beneath the head of the
dying.thus throwing tho head baokward.
atmiiiing the pharyngeal and thoraio
muscles, rendering the respiration, al
ready diflloult, shortly impossible. A
Venetian ambassador, iu tho time of
Uueon Alary, asserted that it was avotn
mon custom nmong the country people
to smother the dying by means of a pil
low placed over tho lace, upon which
leaned or sat tho nearest relative. This
was founded upon the pious belief that a
short road was tho best one. This cus
tom was handed down from generation
to generation, parents performing it for
their children, and vice versa. But,
perhaps, the saddest privilege evor al
lowed the near friends of a dying mau,
occasionally occurred during tho roign
of Uueon iUizabotu, when through ex
ecutive clemency iu execution by
barging thoy were permitted to grasp
tho loot oi the suspended criminal, and,
by cliugiug to the extremities, percipi
tato thoir additional weight on the
body, thereby hastening strangulation.
It is noedless to say that those theories
are false in both coneeptiou and practice.
Death is a physiological process, and
like all otbor auimal functions, should
be painless. J Popular Science Monthly.
True Maallneai as Revealed In lonu;
airm Aran.
"Sergeant," said a diminutive speci
mon of tbe street Arab, as he met an offi
oer wearing a sergeant's uniform on the
street about 10 o'clock the other night ;
"can you send an otucer to guard some
property to-night?
The urchin' clothes were tattered, his
laoe wa dirty, and be was soaked with
rain; but there wa a manly air about
him for all that. The officer looked
somewhat astonished at the request com
ing from such a strange source, but asked
kmdlv:
"What do you want an officer for, my
boy?"
"Because," answered the child, and
tears filled his eyes, "I was leaning
arainst a store window on Chestnut
treet, and tha glass broke, and I could
not make anybody hear, so I started aa
fast aa I could to find au offirer, to keep
' anvhfl? f rrt m tin tK. ikiuM .' . V.
-'n,1nr And. 8crffeant. I have thirty
five cent I made selling pspers to day.
If I give you that, don't you think they
wonld let me go until I could make
ssnnnirh til T)AV for tha class? It is every
cent I have, but I don't want to go to
jail."
"Keep yonr money, my boy," said the
"I will sea that the store is
guarded, and if you go and tell the
owner to-morrow 1 uon t oenevo uo win
take a cont from you. Anyhow, 1 can
trust you."
"Thank you," said the boy, "I will
be sure to go to see him, and I will try
in v all the monev I can to pay him.
if he wants it." And drving bis eyes, ha
went on, probably to a cheerless borne.
I Detroit Free Press.
hulttlng lire.
A Chicago dispatch says: The intorest
created here by the report thut a man
named Underwood conld ignite handker
chiefs by morely blowing upon them has
resulted in experiments which disclose
that what be has done has been the re
vival of an old school-boy trick with
phosphorus. A physician thus explained
to a reporter: "You soe, when I road
the articlos in the papers, I wont ont
and got some phosphorus. Now, you
know that it iB a poison, and you also
know that to prevont its taking fire it
must be kept in water. As long as you
keen it in your mouth aud moisten it.
there is no danger. Yon saw what I
did. J would wash out my mouth all
daylong, driuk water, gargle as you
saw me do but, mind you, I would not
like to swallow the poison. Now, look
at it. I put it slongsido my gums and
show you my mouth, let you look at my
gums, gargle my throat, drink wuter. do
everything except let you see it. But,
suppose you did see it? You never
would imagine what it was. It might be
a relio of my dinner. You see how small
it is. Then I take this handkerchief and
put it to my mouth, and while I breathe
on it I pnt the phosphorus out on it.
Then I rub a littlo, and thero you are,"
and, suiting the action to the word, tho
doctor placed a handkerchiof to his
mouth, ano instantly a flame shot from
it, and had be not snatched it from his
month and trampled it under foot, the
handkerchief would have been entirely
consumed.
The Chinese flan.
A young St. Louis doctor, tired of
waiting for patients and of starving,
published tbe following card: "family
praotice contracted for at the rate of $4
per year for each person, payable one
fourth at first visit, when date of con
tract begins; one-fourth in six months,
one-fourth in nine months, remaining
one-fourth at end of year. Confinements
and surgiool operations extra." Busi
ness, he says, is just booming in conse
quence. He already bos thirty-three
famuios, averaging five in a family, un
der contract, and over one hundred more
promised whenever they need a doctor.
So ho has $700 assured him, and over
82000 more in prospect. He collects
quarterly. Thero are extreme cases
both ways. In some he has not yot been
jcallod to a single case; in another be has
already made 150 worth of visits in four
months, and will receive only $12 for tho
family of threo. It is simply medical
insnranoo'for one year at $1 a head. The
Medical Society threatened to expel him,
but be attended the mooting and cited
the name of one of the most distinguished
physicians who has an annual contract
with a school, and they concluded to let
him alono.
Duennas for American Uirls.
Wealthy New York families are fast
forming their habits npon French and
English models. Motherland daughters
each have their own maid, and the "own"
maid nevor loses sight of her young mis
tress. She sleeps in au alcove or a small
room separated only by a portiere; or if
her quarters are in anothor part of the
house, she is the lost to leave her at
night and the first to see her in the
morning, for she makes her olothes, pre
pares hor toilet for the day, she superin
tends hor bath, dresses and undresses
her, accompanies hor on all her walking,
shopping and other little expeditions.
The oversight exercisod is constant, and
bo minute in the naturo of the case that
the young girl can do nothing not even
post a lettor except under surveillance.
In society, and especially in the ball
room, this is removed. The maid may
be in the drossing-room, the ohaperone
chatting with some other matron within
a few feet of her, but the feeling of per
petual restraint is in a measure removed;
and the joy in it, and the temptation to
avail herselt of it, is all the greater for
its contrast with her daily life.
A Surprhe fur Her Lover.
Miss Matilda Snowball, who is blacker
than the aco of spades, has been filling
an appointment as "a cook lady" in tbe
family of Colonel Yerger. A few even
ings ago Matilda came into the parlor
wher Mrs. Yerger was sitting sewing by
the fire. Matilda had a vory sly ex
pression on her face and something hid
under her spron.
"What have you got there?" asked
Mr. Yerger.
"A young gentloman belongin' to one
de fust families ob Austin has been pay
ing me 'tenshions, and I 'lowed ter
s'prise him wid my picture tuken fur ter
s'prise him wid."
Mrs. Yerger looked at the picture and
nearly fell out of hor chair with amaze
ment. "Why, this can't be you, Matilda.
It is the picture of a white woman with
red hair and blue eyes."
"Dat's whar de a'prise comes in. I
paid de f otogrnphio man two bits fur dut
ar picture. Texas Siftinga.
An important fact of the year 1882 to
be noted is that not a single bushel of
grain was shipped to Europe from New
York in a vessel under the American
flag. As Americans find agriculture and
cotton and iron manufacturing more lu
crative than ship bail ling, it may have
been as well for the Uuited States to
have aecured some of this carrying busi
ness by allowing their citizen to run
and register foreign built sbipi.
The Swan Brothers, who started in the
cattle business fifteen years ago with less
than $10,000, are to-day the wealthiest
cattle men in Wyoming, their herd be
ing iu the oentral part of tha Territory.
7 hoir ahipment last season aggregated
12,000 head, amounting to over half a
, million dollar.
Tke BUte Bald Head.
Most everyone who wa not born blind
know that tha tage bald head ia a de
lusion and a nare. The only all-wool,
yard-wide bald bead we remember on
the American stage is that of Dunstan
Kirke, as worn by the veteran Couldock.
Eflia Ellsler wear her own bair, and o
doe Couldock. bnt Couldock wear hi
the most. It i the most worn, anyhow.
What we started out to say is that the
stage bald head and the average sbige
whiskers make n weary with life. The
stage bald head is generally made of the
internal economy of a oow, dried so that
it shines, and out to fit the head as tightly
as a potato sack would naturally fit a bil
liard cue. It is gonorally about four
shades whiter than the rod face of tba
wearer, or vice versa. We do not know
which is the worst violatiou of eternal
fitness, the red-faced man .who wear a
deathly-white bald head, or tho pale
young actor who wear a florid roof on
hi intellect. Sometimes in starring
through tbe country and playing
ton or fifteen hundred engagements.
a bald hoad guts soiled. Wa notice
that when a show gets to Lara
mie, the chances are that the bald head
of the leading old man is so soiled that
he roally needs a sheep-dip shampoo,
Auother feature of this accessory of the
stage is its singular failure to fit. It is
either a little short at both ends or it
bancs over the skull in large fosloons,
and wens and warts in suoh a way as to
make tha audienoe believe that the
wearer has dropsy of the brain.
You can never get a stage bald-head
near enough like nature to fool the aver
age house-fly. A fly knows in two mo
ments whether it is the genuine or only
base imitation, and the bald-hoad of
the theater fills him with nausea and dis
gust. Nature, at all timos hard to imi
tate, preserves her bald-hoad as she does
her sunny skies and doop blue seas, far
beyond the reach of the weak, fallible
human imitator.
Boldness is like fame, it cannot be pur
chased. It must be acquired. Home
men may be born bald, some may ac
quire baldness, and others may have
baldness thrust npon tuem, dui tney
generally acquire it.
Tne stage beard is rather aizzy as a
rule. It looks as much like a beard that
grew there as a cow's tail would if tied to
the bronze dog on the porch. When you
tie a heavy black beard on a young actor
whose whole soul would be ounrnod np
if he smoked a full flodged cigar, he
looks about as savage as a bowl of mush
and milk struck with a club.
Tramway fare in Italy.
All that common sense can possibly
say on tho subject of reduced fares on
yonr street railways having been ex
hausted in your columns and elsewhere,
anything more would be nseless. But it
may interest your readors, and amuse
the directors of the city railroads, to
know tbe rates at which cars and omni
buses can be run without loss to the
oities of northern Italy.
In Milan the fare in both cars and
omnibuses is two cents, and they make
money at that.
In Genoa the fare is four cents, but
the work is muoh heavier.
Here in Florence the oars charge four
cents and tbe omnibuses two cents.
They all have conductors as well as
drivers, and tbe horse are very good
aud iu excellent condition. From what
I eun learn, horses feed is dearer here
than in America.
Of course their profits are not so large
as with you, where five or six cents are
charged, but thoy are vory flourishing.
But this is a benighted old country
with a king aud all that, and is not
blessed with bosses or rings.
In Geneva, Switzerland, the car fare
is two cents, and the company is very
prosperous. Viator, in Philadelphia
Timos.
A Nice loung Laly.
Miss Hattie Crocker, who stands as the
richest young lady in the United States,
was dressed more simply than half the
poor and ambitious girls at the ball.
Miss Crooker is tall and slender, with a
fine cloar oomplexion, blue gray eyes
and auburn hair. Her expression is one
of great dignity aud sweetness, and her
nnedelioate features and modest and
graceful bearing are indicative of any
thing but the supercilious and flamboy
ant spirit that has brought so many of
these Western 'heiresses into disfavor.
Miss Crocker is one of the most natural
and unaffected young girls, a devoted
church member, and given to many
charitable works and serious pursuits.
Miss Crocker wore a short dunning dress
of pink satin, with high corsage, and
drapery of white satin brocaded with
daisies. The pointed neck was filled
with Valencionnes lace, and the elbow
slsovos rutllod with the same fine web.
A single strand of lurgepourls encircled
her throat, and the richest young lady
in tho United States was as quiet and
pretty a picture of maidenly grace as
one oould wish for. St. Loiiis Globe
Democrat.
College Co-operative Society.
Four hundred Harvard professors and
student formed a oo-operative society
nine months ago, and opened a store,
where books, sporting articles, station
ery, fuel, pictures and clothing were
either kept in stock or sold by sample.
The price for everything was 5 per cent,
above wholesale cost, and members only
could buy, but ou no other terms than
cash down. They also pay $2 a year.
The experiment has thus far been highly
satisfactory, and 10 reason for failure in
the future is apparent. There is no
capital at risk, the 5 perj cent, and yearly
dues cover expenses, and the members,
now increased to KW, got their supplies
at an average of 20 per cent, less than
they would have to pay elsewhere. A
novel branch of the busiuess is the sale
of second baud books and furniture, by
whioh student get pay for thoir dis
carded things, instead of throwing them
away.
As "Act or God." A Nantaskett,
Mass., man bought a piano on the in
stalment plan, agreeing to give it back
uninjured if he couldn't pay for it. A
tempest blew down the house npon tha
piano, and now the seller sues for dam
ages, the defendant setting forth that tha
instrument was damaged by an act of
God, for which ha is not responsible.
"Jersey lichtnine" is trenerallr hZ77A
Boston Commercial Bulletin. And
Dciore its victim has forked over.
ALL BOBTS.
True wit ii mighty and 'mighty scarce.
Advertisor rush in where Kip Van
Winkle fear to tread.
Dickon tell ns of "a day to make
home doubly borne."
MoClare' Morning-Glory stamps Mr.
Arthur as tha best President on record
as a figure for a dress suit.
Five millions of dollars is the funded
pile of Bowen of Colorado, just elected
to the United State Senate.
Tbe last poetical attack upon ns be
gins : "They say that I must die." This
is encouraging. Cincinnati Saturday
Night.
The New Orloans Picayune suggests if
a weak young man finds thut chess
playing hurts him, ho had better buy a
chest-protector.
"You are always prying into other
people's business," said the policeman
to the burglar, who was endeavoring to
open jewelry storo with a jimmy.
A poet in tbe New York Sua compare
Freddie Gebhardt to a goat. This is
frightfully absurd, as everybody know
that a gout's weak point ia not hi bead.
Mrs. Craik say wedlock is a lana that
has no turning. Hasn't it? Well, Dinah
Maria Muloch, you dear little thing, will
you tell us how the divoroe court origin
ated?
"Jane," said he, "I think if you lifted
vonr foet awav from the fire we miclit
have a little heat in the room." And
they hadn't been married two years,
either.
Yankee are now making counterfeit
clove made of wood, and the go-between-the-acts
young man is doing his best to
aid in destroying the forests of this
country.
The contest between New Jersey and
Fall River for the championship of em
bezzlements is getting interesting. This
is the result of a go-as-you-please board
of directors.
England, in 1880 and 1881. under an
adulteration act, refused to permit 80,000
packages of tea to be landed. Most of it
was shipped to this country, hence "gift
tea stores.
An Ohio town has had the same post
master for over half a eentnry. It is be
lieved he can tell what is written on the
book of a postal card simply by reading
the address.
Said the Colorado man: "Eastern peo
ple call the Atlantic ooean 'the drink.'
They know what's right, they do; they
understand what the size of a drink
onght to be."
A recognized medical anthority has
pronounoed promiscnous kissing un
healthy, but he doesn't state whether his
wife caught him kissing her pretty sister
or the hired girl.
Why bugle trimmings are so called:
"Why are things on your dress called
bugle trimmings?" George wanted to
know. "Oh," replied Emily, lightly,
"because papa blows so over tbe bill."
Lot women be brought up to habits of
industry and eoonomy and learn to sup
port a husband, says the wise editor of
the Texas Sittings, and the tramp nui
sance will soon cease.
A telephone is a very handy thing to
have in the bouse. Whon time hangs
heavy on your hands, you can go and
amuse yourself trying to get the thing to
work. f Boston Post.
The Lexington, Ky., Press says that
never before at this time of the year has
wheat lookod so bad in that State as it
does now, and much of it will have to be
plowed up in the spring.
The governor of Virginia offors $50
reward for the arrest of a murderor. It
is believed to be tho same rascal who
after killing three or four people threw
a stone at the governor's dog.
In answer to a query the Chicago
News states that Elizabeth was the
"bonniest" Queen of England. She
may have been tbe boniest ; but "bon
niest" bah !- N. Y. Com. Adv.
The Washington Post says that muck
of the butter sold in that city is fit only
for the soap factory. If this is a true state
ment we don't wonder that some of our
statesmen are slippery fellows.
Queer how things work! Gebhardt
makes an ass of himself and aohieves
fame. If he had possessed any common
sense and behaved himself like a decent
man, he would be wholly unknown.
Bev. Mr. Deems says there are a thou
sand stupid hearers to one stupid
preacher. If such be tbe case the
"stupid hearers" in this conntry must
aggregate something like countless mil
lions. General Sheridan has been mentioned
as a possible candidate for the presiden
cy on the Bepnblican ticket, and already
a number of Democratic papers have dis
covered that he wasn't much of a general
anyhow.
When a South End man and his wife
engaged in a debate the other night and
the dog got up and scratched at the door
to be let out of the room, they concluded
that it was about time to stop the dis
cussion. Boston Post.
A reason: Earnest Spinster "Since
you sympathize so much with the Blue
Ribbon Army, why don't you join us.
Miss Mashani?" Frivilous ditto "So I
would ; only the ribbon is really such a
very dreodful blue!" London Pnncd.
A colored man in Texas linn Win n.
tenced to ninety-nine years in tbe peni-
teuuury. v ueu ine term expires he will
bobble through the conntry and claim
that he is the only surviving member of
George Washington's body guard.
By the aid of a telephone, a Boston
banjo-player was beard a distance of
twenty-five miles. If the musio is in
tensely aggravating, the listener can't
throw stones and things. Even a rifle
won't carry twenty-five mile. Norris
town Herald.
"Then yon think," said Wittiboi to the
insurance examiner, "that I am a good
risk?" "Yes, sir," replied the doctor, "a
first-class one." "Then what in thunder
do I want to get insured for?" aaid Witti
boi. "Much obliged for yonr examina
tion. Good-day."
It remains to be seen whether tha
citizens of a Mexican town think enough
of mayor and aldermen to pay a ransom
for them to the brigands who have cap
tured them. If they do, Philadelphia
will ship them a car-load of leather
medals and a trap to set to catch tha
fool -killer when he comes to that town.
Boston Port.