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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (June 24, 1882)
, ilDPUCltl ITSELF. , jlirt Verona Allien sat by the open iodo in hor own little snuggery, Ler jjgnt upon the letter she held in Ler ? j From tbo exppreiwion of her re liably Pre88ive iuce Bn exPre,slon L curled the upper lip of a large, woll "led mouth, and caused a naturally L.rne.l-up nose to turn up still more . watching ber might have been led think that the contents of the letter .kened no pleasurable feelings a i onsbt that would have been confirmed -hen on reading tho last line onr scorn 7 1 TonDg woman threw herself back in .Vmncb berihbnned willow rocker, and "jcUimed: "Simplicity, indoel! The min'i an idiot." What man?" asked Miss Phebe, com in onietly into the room. Your friend' son, Mother Phebe, vr Peter Gandy. Why, his very name pake one think at once of a goose I jnein a mum ku. "My dear," said Miss Phebe, mildly, ut he seatod herself in another highly decorated chair, and folded her bands in ber lap 8'8n tuat Bhe was rcad7 fr tt long and confidential chat "I see no reason why you should call the young min an idiot. Idiots, to give Webster's oildest definition of thorn are 'un lesrned, ignorant, or foolish persons.' Peter Gundy is none of these. Neither does be, in my opinion, at all resemble a male goose. I mot him at his father's houe, last wiuter, just after his return (root Europe, where he had been for three years, most of tho time in London; md gpcakiug of male geese reminds mo Hat he brought with hira the loveliest poodle that I ever boheld-worth a for tone, my dear. But that is not what I started out to say. Let me seo where till? Oh, yes; he had just returned from England, and I found him good coking (in a poetical way), well edu cated, and as you must have discovered from the letter I gave you to read never dreaming it would lead to idiots tai ganders intensely devoted to "beau ty unadorned," which, as you know, the poet Thomson says "is adorned the moat." His mother was my most inti mate friend at school. Our braids "pigtails" rude boys called them were always tied with the same colored ribbon, and oar tunbonnets trimmed with the nine colored silk. People laugh at school friendships, my dear, but they often outlast those but that's neither here nor there. Where was I? Oh, res; we were inseparable friends, and we promised each other faithfully, hav ing read a great many romances whero well promises had produced the happi est results that if we married (and we both certainly expected to do so), and one had a son and the other a daughter, ve would endeavor to bring about a mar riage between them wheu they had at tained a suitable age. She married soon after she graduated, a man considerably older than herself, with the decidedly unpoetical name of Peter a name he in sisted upon transmitting to his only son, though, I hear, my dear, that among his dearest friends young Peter is known as Aurelius; but he (the elder Peter) was wealthy, and Matilda was fond of but do matter about that. Where Oh, yes; I remember; she married. A ion was the result. I did not marry, aud conse quently have no results. But I found yon, my dear " "A motherless child, forsakeu by an unloving father," interrupted Verona; ad springing from her chair, she flung both arms around Miss Phebe, and kissed each of her plump, rosy cheeks. "And no real daughter, I am sure," the elJerly lady went on, when Verona had again seated herself by the window, "could have brought me more happiness and comfort. And now, my dear, if you ill only make up your mind to receive this young gentleman in a nice and friendly manner, perhaps you may find him a very agreeable person, and he may find in yon tho realization of his dreams. And if you should fall in love with eaoh other" "But, oh. Mother Phebe," interrupted Verona again, "in spite of all you say. I m t help thinking he must be such a -such a idiotl Just listen." And she proceeded to read from the letter, in a drawling, affected manner: "I, like my glorious teacher Osoar Wilde, love na ture, and in loving nuture, love beauty baiuty unadorned, beauty pure and sim ple. I would have tho maiden of my hoice owe naught to art. If ehe wear flowers, let them be the blossoms of the fields and meadows rather than the cost liest of artificial blooms; and if some light blemish mar her loveliness, let ber not seek to conceal it by rouge, or wwuer, or any other lie, but by the sun shine of her smiles so dazzle the bo lder that be will see it not. As for her dress, better in my eyes is the plain -t of home made gowns than the richest robes of silk and satin disfigured by all the paraphernalia of the mantua-maker. -Jh, could I but find such a maiden I" o, Mother Phebe, the idea of his writing soon stuff for it is stuff to you ! But of course he thought I would see it, wd being a truly rural young woman, ouldbsmuch impressed thereby." "My dear, you are severe " began tow Phebe. . "There, I knew it. You've caught the Ufertiongpeaking poetically." "I didn't mean to, I assure you, my dew, though in my youth I wrote and published a number of verses that were But no matter. You will behave icely to Peter? Promise me you will, Verona." "I will do more. I'll try to be all he ojld have 'the maiden of hischoice.' lad if he don't like me, you'll be con tent?" "I'll be oontent." And Miss Phebe t go, as somebody near by whis tedloud asd clear. "Whats that?" .. TTie first bar of 'Charlie is my dar Un?i "replied the srirl. mischievously; d be proceeded to whistle the second a bird-like "Wed out of window. A slender, lithe ;ung fellow stood in the garden below. catching sight of her faoe, he nim y climbed the old pear tree that stood t'y in the garden path, and reaching 7 bough that brought him opposite snuggery, be seated himself thereon J absence of formality refreshing "Moonlight row to-night. Verona," he p-. "I just stopped to tell you, though laao awfal iurry- going down to v depot to meet the gowerner. Hello, Ph.be." Arthur, are yaa never going to leave UiW WW ill Phobe, with as muoh stornness as she was capable of, which wasn't muoh. "Never," answered the caller, with great coolness, as he slid down the tree again. "tb. ler! what would young Gandy think of him?" almost groaned Miss Phebo. "And, Verona dear, please uuu wuisiie any more. "Not whistle, you darling! how can ueip it I whistled when I was a baby girl, and I never knew you disliked it before." "Well, I don't know as I do dislike it myself. In fact, I'm afraid I rather like it. lint don t "whistlo before Peter, that's all. And, Verona, couldn't yon you seem to have some iufiuence over him mdnce Arthur Wills to behave with a little mora dignity? Ayonng man of two-aud-twenty climbing trees like a squirrel or a monkey is really too "Mother Thebe, have vou known Ar thur from before he was born bis mother was an old school mate of yours too, remember until the rroacnt time not to know that he can't be any thing but himself? And I shouldn't want him to. For my part, I think he's too awfully cunning tor anything." Too awfully cunning!" repeated Miss Phebe. "Well, perhaps he is. He's a good voung man anyhow, and very kiud to his parents though I do object somewnat to his calling his lather 'gov ernor. "' "His father don't." laughed Verona. "But bye-tbebye, darling, when do you expect this id I mean this good-looking, well-educated, simplicity-loving gonueman "On the next train. He will dine with us, and I have told Betsey to serve dinner earlier than usual, bo you had better begin dressing at once," And Miss Phebe left the room, und Verona did "begin dressing at once." Oh, what a sparkle came into her lovelv black eyes, what a saucy tilt the turned" up nose took on, and what bright smiles chased each other over the full red lips! And no wonder, for never made mnideo dressing to meet a would-be lover, so el fish a toilet before. First she dipped her hair-brush into a basin of water, and vigorously brushed the fluffy curls that lay upon her forehead (which, unshaded by them, seemed a trifle too high), and the waves that ripplod over her head, nntil there was no hint of wave or curl left. Then she undid the coils and puffs of her luxuriant hair, mado to look more luxuriant by being arranged in these same colls and puffs, and gath ering it all together Into one hard knot, tho fastened it with, one hair-pin high on her head. An accident a year or two before had cost her one of her pret ty white teeth a front one, most unfor tunately; but, thanks to tbe dentist's skill, no one had ever even suspected that the one which replaced it bore no relation to its neighbors? This tooth she removed, and her month loHt its symetery, and her smile its ohurm. Then she donned a muslin gown of Miss Phebe's, some twenty yean old, and conspicuous by reason of the greon leaves and blue flag-lillies of enormous size that were profusely scattered over it, which, MibS Phebe being rather short and quite stout, and she rather tall and quite slender, effectually con cealed her shapely form, and left un concealed hor feet iu stout low shoes two sizes .too large for them. About her neck, which was long, slender and graceful in the soft ruobes and laces she always wore, she pinned a flat linen col lar, and just behind her left ear, so that it droopod over against her cheek, mak ing her brunette complexion look pos itively sallow, she pinned a spray of the brightest blue larkspur. And thus she presented herself bo fore the much astoiished Miss Phebe and Mr. Peter Gandy. If the latter were also much astonished, as beyond doubt lie was, having heard a glowing account of her adopted daughter from his hostess, he never betrayed it farther than by a slight, opening of his dreamy, half-shut eyes. He was a willowy youth, with fair, willowy hair falling nearly to his shoulders, a forehead low but not broad, and a chin decidedly the reverso of his friend's and teacher's. And he wore a dark purple velvet coat, aud a white lace and lavender silk scarf, and there floated about him the delicate perfume of the violet. He roie when Venora entered the room, and greeted her with a languid bow, which she re turned with an awkward courtesy, while Miss Phebe's face ecame a marvellous study from the wonderful commingling of expressions there, as she led the way to tho dining-room. "You ah you like country life?" said Peter I should say Aurelius when they were seated at the tablo. "Oh. yes," replied Verona, with in fantile fervency. "I dote on oows." "Cows?Obfah! yes. Thy-they " "Don't bite yon, and they give milk and cream and butter,' explained Verona Poter that is, Aurelius almost smiled. "And do yon dote on horses too?" he asked, patronizingly. "Yes; bnt sometimes tbey kick. I'm afraid of them when they kick. But I oh, how I" clasping her hands "love chickens!" "Chickens!" repeated Aurelius, in a dazed way. "Yes; they lay omelets and custards and eggs," said Verona, nodding ber head with the air of one who imparts useful information. And there tbe con versation ended. Mr. Feter Aurelius Gandy left for home on an early train. "Your adopted daughter is simplicity itself," be re marked to Miss Phebe, while bidding her goodby, "but I fear we are not affinities." "Oh, Verona, how conld yon how conld you be so" began Miss Phebe.as soon as he was gone; but an uncjntroll able fit of laughter prevented her finish ing the question. And before the laugh was done, away danced Verona to the snnggerv to do her hair in the nsual style, teplacing the larkspur with an orange and maroon nasturtium flower, put back the tooth, and exchange tbe loose green and blue figured gown for a natty gray flannel boating suit,with dark red trimming. And at the rowing party she and be had a little boat to themselves, and some how or other it was always very much behind tbe others she told Arthur all about it. "Oh, dear me, how funny it was! said she. "But it served him exactly right, for I happen to know that be thought Mother Phebe had a fortune with which to endow me, whereas she baa only enough to keep herself comfort able, dear old darling. And iu consider ation of that fortune I have no doubt that had he seen me at my best, he might have condescended to have been pleased with me. But ha was wholly uuprepared for the vision of rustic love liness that burst upon him. Oh, Arthur, you can't imagine what a fright I was!" "I can't imagine, you 'a fright' under any circumstances." said Arthur, thiuk ing how beautiful she looked framed in the moonlight. "Oh. but I was!" holding up her hand and looking at the sparkling drops that fell from it. "I won Win t bave you see mo that way for anything." "You wouldn't?" capturing tbo hand so suddenly that the boat nearly upset. "Why? Can it he? Dare I hope that you that you--"Of course I do, and always have, and always shall, whether you propose or not." "My angel!" exclaimed Arthur. "You ought to have seen mo at dinner time," said Verona. " Twould have made no difference to me," declared tbe lover. "And, oh, my darling, I should have asked you to share my life six tnokths ago, only thought, as the other fellow did, that you were an beiross, and I have nothing but the hope of succeeding to the gov enor's business, which isn't a very money- making one. "Well, do you propose now? No time, no place could be more appropri ate; the moon lookiug down from starrv skies, the water all silvered by her light, a faint fragrance of water-liiies prepar ing to 'put off sleep in the cool air, and somebody, or several somebodies, iu the other boats whistling 'Charlie is my darling' as a signal that we'd better hurry "Verona, will you be my wife? "Arthur, with tbe greatest pleasure. And dear Mother Phebe's school-girl dream will come true after all. She only exchanges tho son of one old friend for tho son of another." A Mournful Blory. " ff you've got time I'd like to have you write a little something about the deceased," said the little man, quietly, "something pretty mournful, if you please." "who is dead inquired tbe manag ing editor, scratching his head and put ting hs pen in tbe ink pot. "Friend of yours?" " Well, yes, replied the little man, leaning over the table. "She was my ife. Her wings sprouted yesterday, anil we turfed her over this P. M. She was a very superior article of remains, and I thought I'd have you speak a good word for her to the public, with some thing about other papers copying it at the bottom. "Where was the plaut?" asked the ed itor, tryiug to think for some melancholy ideas. " We set her out up in Cypress Hills," replted the mourner, wiping bis eyes. "Yes?" "Oil, yes, we had a $10 discourse and a 840 funeral. Yon might speak of the casket. That cost $15 alone, and there must have been 88 or 810 worth of flowers and shrubs and one thing or an other." 'I might say she was popular and generally beloved by all who knew ber in life, eh? suggested the editor. 'You bet! And that 11 make her sis- er mad. You might say that she was the handsomest woman in the ward, and that thore were four carriages choke full. If vou want a nice niece of descriptive. you may add that 1 rode on the hearse with the driver. "An affectionate wife and mother? hhted the editor. 'Well," coughed the little man, "if you ve got plenty oi lime ana room. Perhaps yon had bettor pay more atten tion to the handles on the casket. I'll show 'em to yon. Genuine plate!" and he drew them from his pocket: "The screws were an siiver-neauea, nut x thought I'd better loave them. "Was she prominent in any of the charitable rackets? Muoh in the Sun- dav school business? asked the editor. 'Yes. some. Sue belongod to a gross or two of old women's homes and a coll ides of dozen of children' temperance so cieties, but tliut didn't cnt much figure at tho funeral. You might speak of the number present and say that several friends of the remains were jammed about a good deal trying to get a good sight at her. We showed ber at the hoiisn and at the giave, and though I say it myself, I thiuk the coffin plate wiis penerally admired." "Then she was a worthy, Christian woman, charitable and kindly disposed, and departed sinoerely mourned by a large circle of friends." "Oh, ves, sighed tho bereaved. "I have lost moncv on the headstone, cost 51S. and I lost 810 to my brother-in-law betting that the hearse conld beat tbe moorner's carriage to the first tollgate on the old road coming home. I'd like to have it known that I did the fair thing, thongh I don't care to look like I was blowing about the expense." "Did she leave any children 7 "Yes, ob, ycsl she left 'em. They went with her as fur as tbe grave. It stood me in twenty-seven dollars to fit them ont with grief for the occasion. But I don't begrudge it. When I spend money I calculate to get the worth of it, and nobody hears me complain. I paid (18 fnr tbe clothes she was shoved under in." "Did she leave any property ?" "A couple of houses and lots, but yon needn't mention them. Just speak of it as the social event of the season in fune ral circles, in which no expense was spared to make it a gratifying snccoss, and you'll hit it about even. The neigh bors'are all watching for tbe paper and you'll make a little something ont of the sales if you do the right thing. You might say in to-day's paper that the no tice will appear to-morrow, so as to ad vertise it a little." and the prortrated hnsband pnt on bis hat and buttoned np his coat. And the managing editor wrote a simple, touching little tribute to tbe memory of the woman whose qualities were buried under tbe funeral bills, and tie prostrated husband showed it around, explaining that he couldn't imagine how tbe paper got hold of the facta unless it was tbat a reporter waa present disguised as one of "tbe friends of the remaine." I Brooklyn Eagle. ' HI "JCHAfi ISCAllIOT." "She formerly showed the name Fly iug Spirit on her stern mouldin'," said Captain Trumbull Cram, "but I had thet gouged out and plaued off, and Judas Iscariot in gut sot thar instid. 'That was uu extraor linurv name,' said I. "'Strornary craft." replied the cap Uin, as he ubsorbed another incn ami a Dalf of niggerhead. Ira neither a pro fane man or an irreverent! : but sink my jig if I don't oelieve the spernt of J ddas possessed thet schooner." I ventured to inquire in what manner this vessel nad mamleMcd its depravity. Tho narrative which I heard told of a demon of treuchery with three masts and a jibboom. The Flyinit Sprite was the first three master ever built at Newaggeu, and the last. People shook their heads over the exeriment. "No go.xl can come of sech a critter," they said. "It's coutiairy to natur. Two masts is masts enough." Tho Flying Sprite began its career of base improbity at the very moment of its birth. Instead of launching decently into the element for which it was do signed, the three-masted schooner slumped through the ways into tho mud and stuck thero for three weeks, causing great ex ense to the owners, of whom ("upturn Trumbull Cram was one to the extent of an undivided third. The oracles of Xe waggen wero coutlrmed in their forebod ings. "Two masts is masts enough," they said; "tho third is tho devil s hitch in' post." On the first voyago of the Flying Sprite, Captain Cram, started her for Philadelphia, loaded with ice belonging to himself and lawyer Swanton; cargo uninsured. loo was worth six dollars a ton in Philadelphia: this pnniculur ice had cost Captain Cram and Lawyer Swanton eighty-five cents a ton, includ ing sawdust, lbey were happy over the prospect. Tbo Flying Sprite cleared the port in beautiful shape, and then suddenly and silently went to the bot tom in Fiddler's ltoach, iu eleven feet of salt water. It required only six days to float her ond pump her out, but ow ing to a certain incompatibility between ico and salt water, the salvage consisted exclusively of sawdust. On her next trip the schooner carried a deck load of lumber from the St.Croix river. It was in some sense a consecrat ed cargo, for the lumber was intended for the new Baptist meeting house in southern New Jersey. If the praverfnl 'iope of the navigators, oombiuej with tne prayerful expectations of tbe con signees had availed, mis voyage ,ut least, would have been successfully made. But about sixty miles southeast of Nantucket tbe Flying Sprite encountered a mild September gale. She ought to have weathered it with perfect ease, but she behaved so abominably tbat the church lumber was scattered over the surface of the Atlantin ocean from abont latitude 45 deg. 15 min. to latitude 43 deg. 50 min. A month oi two later she con trived to go on ber beam ends under a gentle land breeze, dumping a lot of ex pensively carved granite from the Fox Island quarries into a deep hole in Long Island Sound. On her next trip she went deliberately out of her course in order to smash the starboard bow of a Norwegian brig, and was consequently, liboled for heavy damages. It was after a lew experiences ci this sort that Captain Cram erased the old name from the schooners stern, and from her quarter, and substituted Ju das Iscariot. She seemed animated with the spirit of purposeless malice and of malignant perndv. Mho was a floating tub of ciiBsedness. A board of nautical experts' sat npon the Judas Iscariot, but conld find noth ing the matter with ber, physically. Ihe lines of ber hull were all right, she was roperly planked, and celled, and calked, er spars wore of good Oregon pine, sho was rigged taut and trustworthy, and her canvas had bee a cut and stiched by a God-fearing sail maker. Yet she always did the unexpected thing, except whon bad bahavior was expooted of her on general principles. If the idea was to luff, sho would invariably'fall off; if to jibe, she would come round dead in the wind, and bang there line juonammed a coffin. Sending a man to haul the jib sheet was like sending a man on a for lorn hope; the jib habitually picked up the ventursoma navigator; and, after shaking him viciously in tho air for a socond or two, tossed him overboard. A boom never crossed tho deck without broaking somebody's head. Start on whatever course she mignt, tho schooner was certain to run, before long, into one of three things, namely, some othor ves sel, a fog-bank, or the bottom. From tne very day on which she was launched her scent for a good, sticky mud bottom was un erring. In the clearest weatuer log fol lowed and enveloped her as misfortune followed wickedness. Her presence on the banks was euough to drive every cod fish to the ooast of Ireland. The mack erel and porgies were always where the Judas Isoariot was not. It was impossi ble to circumveut tbe schooners fixed purpose to ruin everybody who char tered her. If chartered to carry a deck load, she spilled it; if loaded between decks, she dived and spoiled the cargo. In short, the Judas Isoariot waa known from Marblehead to tbe Bay of Cbaleur as the consummate scuoouerauon oi malevolunoe, turpitude, and treachery. Nearly at tbe end of a season, when tbe wretched oraft had been even more un profitable than usual, a conference of the owners was held in tbe Congrega tional vestry one evening, after the monthly missionary meeting. No out sider knows exactly what happened. On the forenoon of the next Friday there was a general suspension of business at Newsggen. Tbe Judss Iscariot, with her deck scoured and hor spars scraped till they shone in tbe sun like yellow am ber, lay at the wharf by Captain Cram's fish-house. This time her cargo was an extraordinary ono. It consisted of nearly a quarter of a mile of stone wall from tbe boundaries of the captain's shore pasture. "I ci.lklet ," remarked the commander of the Judas Iscariot, as he saw the last boulder disappearing down the main hatch, "tbar's nigh two hundred'n fifty ton of stone-fence aboard thet schooner." Conjecture waa wasted over this on- nurpRHnrv amount of ballast. The own ers of the Judas Iscariot stood op well noder tbe consolidated wit of the village; they returned wittioism for wittioism, and kept their stcret. "Lf yoo most know, I'll tell ye." said the captain. "I hear thar's a stone wall famine over Maehias way. I'm going to take mine over'n peddle it out by the yard." On this fine sunshiny Friday morning.while tho luckless schooner lay on one side of the wharf, looking as bright, and trim, and prosperous as if she were the best paying maritime investment in the world, the tug l'ng of Portland lay un der the other side, with steam up. She bad come down the night Wore iu re sponse to a telegram from the owners of the Judas Iscariot. A good laud breeze was blowing, with the promise of fresh ening as the day grew older. At half past seven o'clock the schooner put off from the hmding, carrying not only the captain's pasture wall, but also a large number of his neighbors aud friends, ineluding somo of the solidest citizens of Newaggen. Curiosity was stronger than fear. "You all know what tbe critter air. the captain had said, iu reply to numerous applications for passage. "Ef you'ro a mind to resk her antics, oomo along, an' welcome." Never had the Judas Iscariot carried such a load. She seemed suddenly struck with a son so of decency aud re sponsibility, for she came around into the wind without balking, dived ber nose playfully into the brine, and skip- ed olT on the short hitoh to clear luni ler Island, all in tho most proper fash ion. 1 lie Pug steamed after her. The crowd on tho wharf and tho boys in the small boats cheered this unex pectedly orthodox behavior, and they now saw for the first time that Cantaiu Cram had painted ou the side of the ves sel iu conspicuous white letters, each three or four foet long, the following legend : 1'UlS IJTtlK SCHOONER Jl'DAS liCARIOT. M. S-UIVK HKIHWIMBKMIl!! Hour after hour the schooner bound ed along lieforo tbe northwest wind, holding to her course as straight as an arrrow. The woathor continued fine. Every time the captain threw tbe log he looked more perplexed. Eight, nine, nine-and-a half knots! He) shook his head as he whispered to Deacon Plynipton: "She's meditatin' misshief o' some natur' or other." But the Judas led the Pug a wonderful chase, and by half-past two in the aftornoon, aud be fore the demijohn which Andrew Jack- sons son Tobias bad smuggled on board was three-quarters empty, and before Lawver Swanton had more than throe- quarters finished his celebrated story about Governor Purington's cork leg, the schoouer and the tug were botneen fifty and sixty miles from land. Suddenly Captain Cram gave a grunt of intelligence. He pointed ahead, whore a blue line just above the horizon marked a distant fog-bank. "She smelt it, an' she run for it," he remarked sententious- ly. "Time for business." Then ensued a singular ceremony. First Captain Cram brought the schooner to, and transferred all his passengers to the tug. The wind had shifted to the southeast, and the fog was rapidly ap proaching. The sails of the Judas Iscar iot flapped as bIio lay head to the wind; her bows rose and fell gently under the influence of the long swell. The Pug bobbed up and down half a hawser's length away. Having put his gtiestsand crew aboard the tug, Captain Cram proceeded to make everything ship-shapo on the decks of the sohooner. He neatly coiled a loose end of rope that had been left in a snarl. He even picked np and threw overboard the stopper of Andrew Jack son's Tobias's demijohn. His faoe wore an expression of unusual solemnity. The people on the tug watohed bis move ments eagerly bnt silently. Next be tied ono end of a short rope to the whoel, and attached the other end loose ly, by means of a running bowlino, to a cleat upon the rail. Thou he was seen to take up an ax, and to disappear down the companionway. Those on the tug distinctly heard sevoral crashing blows. In a moment the captain reappearod on deck, walked deliberately to tbe wheel, brought tho schooner around so that her sails tilled, pullod the running bowline taut, aud fastened the rope with several half hitches around tho cleat, thus lash ing the helm, jumped into a dory, and sculled over to the tug. Left entirely to herself, the schoouer rolled once or twice, tossed a fow buck etsfulof water over her dancing bows, aud started off toward the South At lantic. Bnt Captain Trumbull Cram, standing on the bow of the tugboat, raised his hand to command silonoe.and pronounced the following farewell speech, being sentence, doath warrant, and funeral oration, all in one: "I ain't advancin' no theory to 'count for her ensscdness. You all know the Judas. Mebbe thar was too muoh fore an' aff to tier. Mebbe the inickorty of a vessel's in the fore an' aff, and the var tne in the sqnar' riggin'. Mebbe two masbi was masts enough. Let tbat go; bygones is bygones. There's a hole, good two foot serost, stove in her belly, and unless . Oh, yer makin' straight for the fog, are ye ? Well, its your last fog bank. The bottom of the sea's tbe fust port you'll fotch, you critter, you. Git, and be d d to ye I" Meanwhile the fog had shut iu around the tug, and tbe Judas Iscariot was lost to view. The tug was put about and beaded for home. The damp wind chilled everybody through and through. Little was said. The contents of the demijohn had long been exhausted. From a distance to the south was heard at intervals the hoarse whistling of an ocean steamer. "I hope that feller's well nnderwrit," said the captain, grimly, "for the Judas 'II never go down afore she's sarched him out'n sunk him." "And was the abandoned schooner ever beard of ?" I asked, when my in formant bad reacbod this point in tbe narrative. Tbo captain took me by the arm, and led mo out of tbe grocery store down to tbe rocks. Across the mouth of the small cove back of his house, blocking tbe entrance to hi wharf and fish-house, was stretched a skeleton wreck. "Thar she lays," be said, pointing to the blackened ribs. "That's tbe Judas. Did yer suppose she'd sink in deep wa ter, where she oould do no more dam age ? No, sir; not if all the rocks on the ooast of Maine was piled onto her, and her bell bottom knocked eleap out. She come home to roost. She come sixty miles in tho toeth of the wind. Wheu the tng got back next mornin' thar lay the Judos Iscariot sorost. my cove, with her jibboom stuck through my kitchen winder. I say schooners has souls." New York Sun. The White Boose Mall. Kervnl hundred letters are received every day at the White House. They are delivered by a special messenger. The correspondence addressed to the Presideut is not opened by him, and it ia very rare that ho reads one of the thousands of letters addressed to him. All of the letters are first oened by his privato secretary. The majority of them are simply referred clsowhere, and never in any form come to the attention of the President It makes no difference how "personal, private, or confidential" an envelope may be marked, it does not go by the desk of tho riva.e soerotary unopened. Letters from relatives or intimate friends are sent to the President just as received, but all othor letters of a character worthy of being called to his attention are simply "briefed," so that tho President can see at a glance what is wanted. Applicants for oflice who write to tho White House are always referred to the departments. It has been the custom of late years to send out to every such applicant a polite formula saying that tbe application has been referred to such aud such a. department. Somo of the simple-minded correspon dents of the Executive construe the receipt of this formula as ono of the most important steps in tbe way of securing the desired ofiloo. One happy man who recently received one of these formulas wrote in reply that bis gratitude over tho receipt of the same waa "as big as an Elephent."He then added that whon ho should get his place his gratitude would be "as big as 2 Elefent." This formula of answer is in reality as full of encouragement as the editor's polite "rejected with thanks," sent under seal with a pilo of returned manuscript. But no amount of ill success bus any effect upon tho people who write to the President for information .advice, money, or oflloo. Out of the 50,000,000 of people in this country there is always a daily number who flatter themselves that they are not wasting good paper, pens aud ink by writiug )o the President. The Baltimore Plan. A Baltimore capitalist one day-went down into Virginia to oolleet the interest on a $500 bond which a town had votod to build a bridge. Tho bond was five years old, and no interest had ever been paid. Seeking an iuterview with the village president, he made known his errand, but the official sadly shook his head, and replied: "A freshot carried off tho bridge the same year it was built." "But tbe bond stands good for all tbat." "Yes, I aupposo so, but we have no money on hand." "Can't yon pay this from some other fund?" "We haven't a oont in any fund." "Can I sell the bond to tome ono here?" "Nobody got anything to buy with." Fur tho next fonr hoars the man with the bond was very busy. lie attached the old hand fire engine, garnished three or four of the taxpayers, locked np the vil lage graveyard, attached the safe in the clerk's office, and whon the sun went -down he had arranged for so many in junctions that no one dared stir abroad. The sun was hardly up next day before his interest was ready, end in loss than an hour a citizen purchased the bond at a discount,' explaining: "1 shan't never get nothing on it, but we can't have wicked speculators coming here to cast reflection on Virginia's hon esty. Wall Streot Dally News. Changes la the Meaning f Words. During part of the seventeenth oentury and earlier, a Dutchman meant a Ger man, Mynheer being callod a Hollander. A modern reador, ignorant of this ohango, when he found a dictionary com- iler pronouncing English based on atoh, might be apt to doubt the au thor's fitness as a judge of language Less teohnioal writers suffer from the ehanges in the moaning of more oommon words; and a reader, not aware of tbe changes which have taken place, may be in continual danger, of misreading his author, of misunderstanding his inten tion, while he has no doubt whatever that he i s perfectly apprehending and taking it in. Thus, when Shakespeare, in Henry VI., makes tho noble Ta'.bott address Joan of Aro as a "miscreant," how coarse a piece of invective does this sonndl how nnlike to that which the chivalrous soldier would have uttered.or to that which Shakespeare, even with his unworthy estimate of the noble warrior maid, would bave put into Talbot's mouth! But a "miscreant," in Shakes peare's time had nothing of the meaning which it now has, A "miscreant," in agrooment with its etymology, was a misbeliever, one who did not believe rightly the articles of the Catholic faith; and it neod not be told that this was the constant charge which the English brought against Joan, namely, that she was a dealer in hidden magical arts, a witch, and as such had fallen from the faith. It is this which Talbot means when he calls her a "miscreant," and not what we sbonld intend by the name. Shahkfuii Societi Sham. A St.Lonis burglar broke into a house where a high toned wedding bad oconrred and stole the silverware that.had been givt n as presents to the bsppy couple. Tit next day, after ho had tried several pawn shops, he wrote sn insulting letter to the bridegroom, accusing him of palming off plated ware on to an innocent burg lar, and telling him where he could find Lis confounded pot metal in a lumber yard. The man went and got his pres ents, and he savs he will whip the burg lar on sight. (Milwaukee Sun. The woman who talksloud in the horse cars, is, on the whole, the most disagreeable specimen of her sex. When a person rides in one cf those "millen nial vchioles," as Olive Logan calla them, he want to pay his entire atten tion to it; be doesn t want to listen to an impromptu lecture on culinary art, or yet a discourse on the glories of the milliner's productions.