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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 25, 1882)
THE IITULESS CREDITOR. id it untU I'm tired of toying Vt. Atheling, io a despairing "I've it " Mid ,art of wsy. Mini Anooni, " ion never win gei weu &a Jong as yon let your "fiu Anfiouriftod her soft Spanish is wistfully to tho doctor'a blunt, !-.Jlr face, but answered nothing, Poor ,i,ild! her command of the English f.nage was insufficient enough at .Un?U. l how could she toll all the the S.ul that 1 on her girl heart ? ..i trv to be iuiet : I will en je.Tur mncb," she said, piteously, i rV Atheling pauited, aa if expecting us jJthe doctor went away, thinking wbt strange, veiveiy pob Dfuuu b"' uve. 'glie in very pretty," said he to him .it 0.1111 ao utterly alone in the world f...ir if I couldn't sot her a situation iomewbere ai governess, when she gets a little itroDKw i , u n while the doctor s step had scarce lj died sway on the staircase when Lis nnick. Maria t" she cried to tho hon t ijiob girl who was all the nurse she hid at the odd times and seasons when die could be spared from the down-stairs drudgery 01 uuurmmujj vwKuiug- house. "Quick the pillows at my bock .,! the sketching-board and crayons 1 ti.m Winter afternoons grow shorter ind each moment of daylight is a coin to nir ' But, miss," pleatlod Mary MoCarty the doctor says" 'Vsrer mind what he msy say !" inter .nntd Lisita. nervously. "He knows i how should he? Listen .Maria," ith a s?ft, musical intonation en the wine, " you Pnt yourself in my place, If rnnr dead sifter's husband" "fiat I haven't any sisthor, miss," said llary, innocently. "An. but we mnst suppose that you Mve, Maria. If ho was sick, in debt, taffering, and you oould help him I" "Sure, miss, Id do it wid all my hurt !" declared sympathetic Mary. "I don't like Antonia Caro," Lisita nid, gravely; ' but be was Zamta a bus hud. and for him I work. His land' lord will put him out of the doors, with hit Door violin, and his piles of raanu- rript music, if rent be not paid next week. See I the Madonna is almost finished. Ton will sell it for me at the nictnre bazar. Maria. I will send the mnnev to the oruel landlord, and all will be well. Zanita will rest quiet in her pve, and I what matters it if I do sat iret strength so quick? It will oome in time." Honest Mary crossed herself as she looked at the sweet-eyed Madonna, those brows were like Lisita s own "I'll do all I can, miss," said she. Lisita sat up late until the last rosy flash of sunset bad faded away from the nils, to finish the picture. And the out day when Dr. Atheling called she tm prostrate. "It's very strange," said the disciple of .Esculapius. "You were well yester Jar; to-day you are all in a tremble, ritu vour pulse np to ninety. What does it mean?" "Nothing." faltered Lisita. "It must be of the weather." "Weather's splendid," said Dr. Atlie ling, gazing keenly down into his patient's dark, averted eyes. "Couldn't he better, Miss Anconi!" "Sir." "I shall send up some wine this even ing.and some fresh eggs. See that Mary buts them well together, and take glassful twice a day." Lisita held np a thin little purse, smil ing faintly "I have no money, doctor. Wine costs ilver, and eggs are of an expense I can not afford." "The wine is in mv own cellar, and the eggs ore laid by my sister Susan's pet tloudan (owls. I shall not charge yon for them, Miss Anconi; but I feel my professional credit involved in this Blow recovery of yours." And be vent away before Lisita oould forbid his well meant intentions. And he drew tho reins of his faithful old gray horse before his office door, his ageut came down the steps. "Well," said Dr. Atheling, descending from the odd, hooded little phaeton. ' It's no good," said Jaycox, chewing m end of straw as he spoke. "The foreign fellow hasn't anv more rnonev than a squeezed sponge." won t lie mean to pay? "If he does. I don't He see any signs of it." . "Clear him out then!" said Dr Athe mg, sharply. "I lost inst about as much rent out of that tenement property m I intend to." "Very well, sir," said Jayoox, and off ae went. Lisita was sketching bnsilv awar the wxtdsy, when Dr. Atheling came in. dually his visits were made late in the wternoon; to-day he hod purposely de 'isted from hiB time. oue dropped her crayons, with a slight "Aha!" said the doctor. "soT'Tfl eauffht -n. have I ? This is the way you keep oat low fever going. No you shall not it away! I am determined to see it." Fardon! pardon!" lisped poor Lisita, but I could not help it. Iwas forced to work." "Indeed! and may I ask why?" Ah, now you are offended; but yon ureiy will not be when you listen to all!" Well, I'm ready to listen. Speak aid Dr. Atheling, critically sur veJing the spirited little crayon sketch. And Lisita in her broken mixture of Spanish anil P.nrrlic.1, t;foru1 nnt tho Si0.10? of the cruel landlord, and K Ti ucUe88 husband, who a lost his engagement as violinist to s'Oe orchf Btra nf. . .,. ; v w n iv,u ui'i niu luuaroi , m """sequence of his long illness. , tW Antonio cannot starve," pleaded Li , wraou gntim music, uut not buy. They say there is no Market io.i a3 J t i. f-ouas husband's aaV.. Th ernel wiU nrely relent if Maria takes ir'al nail til A rnnt nn,'nl. Xr r-A Anna D"r JterJay for ten bright dol- I Dr. Atheling rubbed his nosd, R,oX? J011 knw the name of tl the land- 'hook her head. 2 little confused. He ismt uck a thei, aK Jaw of yours is, by all accounts, a: shift less sort of fellow." "He was Zanita's husband," sighed poor Lisita. "Keep your ten dollars," said Dr. Atheling, more moved than he cared to hove visible. I'll speak to the fellow that owns the house! He won't be hard 0D is Caro, or whatever his name is!" Lisitu'a face irrew radiant. "But, doctor, I never cua pay you." Perhaps so perhaps not. . Wait and see, cuu.i wait and see." Antonio Caro weut on comnosinc in. comprehensible musio in his (Turret. poaeetui and undisturled. Neither butcher, baker, nor landlord troubled him with their bills any longer; and Elijah, fed by ravens on the shores of the Drook Uhenth. could not be mom 1 ! emy indifferent to where it all came from than was he. And Lisita throve like a lair, blossoming rose, in the auu shine of renewed peace. "Susan," said Dr. Atheling one day to his sister, "I wish yon would have the nouse cleaned and put in order! It is always clean and in nrW Drotuer, said Miss Atheling, primly, 'Because I m coiner to be married 1 said the doctor. Miss busan dropped her knitting needles in dismay. "At your age. John!" she at last fonnd breath to gasp. "I am only nine-and-thirty," said the uocior, orusqueiy. "And she the lady?" "She is nineteen " said Dr. Athelinn- uer name is liisita Anconi." So the physioian , brought the fair young Spanish girl into his heart and Home. The. day after their return from somewhat lengthened wedding tour, Mrs Atheling came np to her husband hold ing ont a pink, dimpled palm. Money John, sue said, laughing. "How much?" he responded, pnttinir 1 ... . . w uih nana in nis pockot. "You won't blame me," she whispered bnt I do so want to pay the wicked andlord who so persecuted Antonio Caro. Yon promised him to soeak to unt x would mm pay. Ur. Atheling laughed. "You have paid him already, little Lisita contracted her brows. "Now yon laugh at me -yon know not nowr deep it lies in my Heart. ise at rest, Lisita; that bill is settled ong ago." "But I did wish to settle it mvself." she answered. "Toll me who is his name?" His name is Atheling." the doctor gravely responded, "and he stands be fore you. Now, Lisita, I was the hard' hearted creditor." And he burnt out laughing at the look of blank incredulity on Lisita s face. "And while we are in the spirit of con fession he went on, gaily, "let me tell you a little more. I was the man who bought the Madonna, and the little group of crayon cherubs and I have got you at last. Do you regret it, Lisita?" And her radiant smile answered him Death of Two Jlsfrs. A lawyer of Troy, N. Y., was called at midnight recently to draft a will for Lawrence Ager. The attorney found Ager and his wife at the point of death Ager informed the lawyer that be had over 2.000 to dispose of. On Saturday Ager sent for his landlord, and placed in his keeping four small bags containing $1500. He had lived in privation and by severe toil, and no one supposed he had money. He had also $640 secreted. The ill directs that 8100 shall be equally divided between - five cripples one girl neighbors of the testator. Sixty dollars are reserved for the burial of his wife. The remainder is to be given in equal sums to the Little Sisters of the Poor and the Catholio Male and Female Orphan Asylums. Ager said that when a young man he was a school teacher in Ireland. The woman who was dying at his side was his second wife. He had no children, but there are relatives of his at Hoosic Palls to whom he left nothing, as he thought they were 'well enough off. when asked why he had not used his money to obtain the oom forts of life he replied, "Money is a good thing to have." Mrs. Ager died at about 1 o'clock, and at 6 o'clock her husband expired. They had lived for weeks withoat a fire, and their deaths are attributed to the effects of the cold weather. They admitted that they had dispensed with fuel, preferring the money it would have cost to the comlort it would have given. Aoote Louise tary 5ot Engaged. And so Miss Gary is not to be married after all. The Cincinnati Times-Star says: We are also glad to be able to state on the authority of Mrs. Usgood that Cary is not engaged. Mrs. Osgood says: "She told me of the origin of the story the other evening. It seems that Miss Cary and and a friend were sitting, short time since, in a iioston theater, when the former discovered that a lady near was straining her ears to catch their conversation. Miss Cary said, 'There is some one listening to us, let us amuse her.' So she went on telling about her engagement, (a purely lmogmory one), and wishing to name some one who was known she imposed the responsibility upon Mr. Lorillard.whom she hod never met. Miss Cary is extremely fond of a joke, and she carried this so far as to go into all minute details as to when ana where the engagement was made, gifts she had received, and the prospective wedding. The next day it was all pub lished, and a week later had gone like wild-fire over the country. So that is the truth of the Cary engagement," suid Mrs. Osgood. The uniformity of toilet which has now become the fashion in London and Paiis owes its origin to the Queen of Italy. At a special ball got up for her on a recent visit to Vienna, the young beauties of that graceful capital all wore whita in her honor, and she herself was draped entirely in white satin, trimmed with silver gauze, looped with gardinias, and set off by strings of the seed pearl, which is the latest fashionable revival. The white Austrian uniform, too, chimed appropriately, bo in rememm-ance oi the compliment Queen Marguerite, at the first ball on her return, made it known that her fair gnesta were to imi tate the beauties of the Austrian Capital. And so at the latest balls in London and Paris the "uniform toilet" is the rage, and ladies an expected to appear in soma stated tint. Professor of laiarat. "Ah. yes. walk riaht in." And with one step I crossed the thresh' old that teemed to separate America from Asia. In one second of time I was transported from the modern republican oity of Cambridge into the rich domain oi an uriental professor. " Bight this way. air." said the niugi cian who effected this wonderful trans position, as he conducted me with the courtesy and grace of an Elizabethan nobleman, into his study. The speaker was Prof. Ko-Kun-hua the celebrated teacher of Chinese at liar vard ; and rs he led the way for me, I took the opportunity to observe bis dress and bearing. Clothed in the flow ing robes which have for long ages been tho distinguished costume of the Chinese dignitaries, with a little round, block skull cap on the bock of his head, and the fabled, white wooden shoes, turned np at the toes, on his feet, he looked all the world as though he had just emerged Irom the Lastern Empire. Had a strange been led blind-folded to the room in which I now stood and tho bandage suddenly removed from his eyes, he would surely have imagined that he had fallen into the storied tunnel of Jules Verue, through tho center of the earth, and had now reappeared again on the other aide of the world. On the wall on the table, in the chairs, and, in fact in every portion of the room, were me mentoes of the professor's native home, Boxes, papers, pictures, swords, and all tho little knick-knacks were well calou lated to impress the observer with the idea that he was in the land of Con fucius. "This seat, sir," said the professor, as he pointed to an easy, lounging chair, at the same time seating himself near by, The words were uttered in broken Euglish, to be sure, but without the slightest approach to what is called "pig Euglish," so commonly used by the lower class of Chinese. Iudeed, Mr. Ko speaks and understands our language re markably well, considering that he has been here only a little over two years, He now never calls into service his in terpreter. "Professor," I began, "if you have no objection I would like to obtain a few facts about theetudy of the Chinese here lor the World." "Anything that I can tell yon I am glad," he instantly replied. "I believe you came to this oountry in 1870, did you not?" "Yes, I was engiged by Mr. Francis P. Knight, of your city, Boston, in June of that year, and came right over the next September. I used to teach in Ningpo. I taught English, French and Italian gentlemen there. "What nation, do you think, learns Chinese the easest?" "Oh, they all learn abont the same. It takes one about a year to learn to speak it, and in three years the scholar can read it very readily. I have one scholar here, a gentleman from Springfield, who learned in six months to talk very well. He takes lessons every day. The others not so often." "How many scholars have you now?" "I have three. Besides him I have a lawyer who lives in Worcester, Mass., a gentleman who knows a great many languages, ancient and modern, and also a Junior in the college. That is all the scholars I have. The time which I do not devote to teaching them I devote to teaching myself. I am studying bard every day. My children, too, go to school and study there, so they talk Lug lish very well now." "What method do you use in your teaching? We have instruction books in Chi' nese and English both the English, you know, take a great deal of interest in China; more than the Americans do, The officers of the government who go to China from there are obligod to pass an examination in Chinese, and the au thorities also-devote much time to the study. But, as I say, we study from these books, reading and speaking. At the first lesson I read some lines in Chi nese, and the pupil repeats them after me, parrot like, just to get the prouun eiation, without knowing what they mean. Then ho has to commit to mem ory the signs or characters these char acters, you know, each represent a word.' It must be hard to remember all the characters one has ever read." "Yes, but you have to. It is all by the memory. Then we have two sets of characters, too, like you do one for printing and one for writing. Have to earn both. "You teach the official dialect, do you not ?" "Yes, the Mandarin. Every part of China has a different dialect, and if I go UK) miles from home and talk my own dialect the people probably would not understand me. The Mandarin, though, is the language of the Court, and every official knows it. So one can use that everywhere. "Do yon like America, Professor? "Very much, indeed. The people are very pleasant." I think all the Chinese bovs who were at school in this country liked here, too. By the way. may I ask if you have heard anything about them since they were so suddenly recalled .' I believe some of them are at Shanghai. They were very sorry to go, I suppose, but they hod to," he added, smiling significantly. "I here was something in the Herald I just received, but I haven't bad time to read it yet." Ihe Herald.' I repeated, inquir ingly. "My Herald from China, he an swered. "You wait one moment and I will show it to you. bile he was getting the paper I picked up from the tables copy of Presi dent Elliott's report for 1870-80, and glancing through it I saw an account of the origin of the Chinese professorship. It seems that in 1877 Mr. Knight, who bad been many years a resident of China, being for some months in this country, raised a subscription of $8750 (mostly payable by annual installments), for the purpose of maintaining at Cambridge, for a term of five years, a native teacher of Mandarin Chinese. Iteturning to China in 1878, Mr. Knight endeavored to find some educated Chinese gentleman illing to go to Cambridge on this ser vice. After having been long unsuc cessful in this search, ho finally engaged Mr. Ko-kum-hua (pronoanced. I may say, Ko-kun qnar, and according to the Knglua method would be writ tea E. H. Ko.) Mr. Ko reached Har vard promptly on September 1, 1870, bnt as his arrival at that time was unex pected, be was at first obliged to seek rooms at the little college hospital. He now resides in a large, double house on Cambridge street, not fur from the .col lege. "There," said he, as he returned, "there is my paper," and he spread out on the table a sheet of nice paper about the size of the New York Herald, but printed only on one tide. "The lines, you know," he continued, "in Chinese rnn up and down the viae, iustead of across. All this half of the paper is the business half, while this other half is the news. "That a a terrible looking thing to read," I said, at which he began to laugh heartily, seeming to enjoy my bewil dered look us 1 glanced over the paer "Oh, not so very hard." he replied, "See, here is somethiug you can read," ana ne poMiieu out a cut ot a sewing inn china, with the name of the English man nfacturers below it. This was the only English thing iu the paper, though I confess I half expected to see the familiar face of Lydia 1'iuknam pcVnng up benev olently at me from one of the pages. "Two dates, yon ace. to tho paper." continued the professor, as he pointed out a douuio set of hieroglyphics around the heading ; "one the Euglish date, the other the Chinese. Our year, you know. begins about forty davs after yours About every two years, also, wo have i leap year, and that leap year has thir teeu mouths inttead of twelve. A little more than two years, though, we get in the two extra months every five years." l believe yon are a writer yourself rrotesHor, l said, referring to the vol ume of his poetry, which is now in the Harvard library. "Yes, a little." he replied. The book alluded m was his. "Versos Composed in the tL.ll of Lonirevitv " a small oo tavo, printed privately at Ningpo in 1879, It is unaccompanied by a translation, and therefore hardly intelligible to any one except the professor's pupils. Just at this moment the door opened, and one of his children, a handsome boy dressed like bis father in the historical costume of the Oeient, entered. The father addressed him iu his native language, to which he promptly re plied. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was nearly 7:30. and I had been there an hour. Remembering that the Professor is accustomed to retire about this time, I rose to depart. He, as sera pulously courteous as before, aooom panied me to the outside door, and with a pleasant nod bado me "good-night." "Eastmane" in Boston World. A Btreet.far Romance. "Oh! how aro you? It's a long time since I've seen you," exclaimed a fine looking gentleman to the conductor as he jumped aboard an Albia street car the other day. Ihe conductor responded like an old friend, and remarked that it was nearly two years since they had met. The gentleman went through to the front platform to smoke his cigar, and the car went on. Ten years ago one oppressive summer night the same gen tleman, who was then and is now i dealer in teas and spices in New York, was a guest at the Troy House. He asked the clerk if there were any amuse ments that evening, and receiving a neg ative answer, inquired where he could find a cool spot to spend an hour or two The clerk advised a ride on the street cars to Albia and back. The gentleman boarded a car. Next to him sat a young lady, the daughter of a poor but re spected Englishman, then a resident of Albia. The vonair ladv was not verv young, neither very handsome, but was attractive and bright, tier occupation was school teaching. A remark by the gentleman led to an informal conversa tion, which became so interesting that when the young lady s residence at Albia was reached she was not awaro of it until the conductor called her attention to the fact. After she had gone the gentleman asked the conductor who the lady was. The conductor, who had supposed the two were old friends, gave tho young woman s name. Said the gentleman, "I would like to meet her again. I am a widower with two children, and live in N6W York. I have never met a lady in my life wholookod, talked, and acted bo muoh like my wife as the young woman I accidentally met on your car." The conductor, taking an interest in the ro mantic case, answered the varied ques tions of the widower, and finally agreed to take bis card to her and ask for an in terview at her home on the following evening. On the following evening a formal introduction took place, whiob was followed six months later by a marriage, investigation of the gentle man's statements concerning his stand ing having verified them in every detail. The former widower has now five chil dren and a happy home in every resioot. He was recently paying a visit to his parents-in-law. We must not omit to state that after the wedding the bride groom met the accommodating conductor and said that the latter might expect a ohest of choice tea as a little personal token. The conductor, who is not only man of sturdy common sense, bnt also man of bluff independence, politely begged that no such favor be extended ira. "For, said he, "I only acted as a friend.and did what I thought was right; it turned out well. Troy Times. Early in the year 1880, a circular was sent to the parents or guardians of tho 828 undergraduates of Harvard, asking if thry held dailv family prayers in their households. Tho number of replies re ceived was 741, of which 211, or two sovonths, answered yes, and 5IJ0, or five sevenths, answered no. Nine persons who answered yes expressed the desire, nevertheless, that attendance at college prayers should be voluntary, and thirty six of those who answered no expressed tho desire that attendance should bo compulsory. Some of the negative re plies stated that the practice hod been discontinued, and gave reasons for the discontinuance. The object of the in quiry was to ascertain how much sup port morning prayers at college had in the habits of the families from which the students came. He May I call yon Revenge ? She Why 1 He Because "Revenge is sweet." She Certainly you may, provided, thongh, you will let ma call yon Ven geance, tie and why would you can mo Vengeance? She llecaase "ven geance is mine." Visit Motbcr. Ah! boys, you have gone out from the old homesteads into the rush and bustle of life, do you ever think of the patient mothers who are stretching out to yon arms that are powerless to draw you ltack to the old home nest? Arms that were strong to carry you once, pressed h Hearts that love you now as theu. No matter though your hair is silver streaked, and Dot in the cradle calls you grandpa, you are "the boys so loug as mother lives. You are the childreu of the old home, nothing can crowd you ont of your mother's heart. You may have failed in the battle of life, your manhood may have bceu oniHhed out against the wall of circumstances; and you may have been prosperous, and gained wealth and fame; but mother's love has followed you always. Many a "boy" ban not beon horns in five, ton, or twenty years. And all this time mother has been waiting. Ah! who does not know the ugony expressed by that word? She may be even saying, "I dreamed of Joiin last night. May be be will come to day. Ho may drop in for dinner;" and the poor, trembling hands prepare some favorite dish for him. Dinner comet and goes, but John comes not with it Thus, day after day, month after month, year after year passes, till at last, "hope deferred maketh the heart sick,"ye, sick unto death; the feeble arms are stretched out no longor. Tho dim eves are closed,the gray hairs are smoothed for tho last time, and the tired hands are folded to everlasting rest, and the mother waits no more on earth for one who comes not. God grant she may not have to wait vainly for his coming in heaven. Once more I say unto yon, boys, go home, if only for a day. Let mother know yon have not forgotten her. Her days may be nuni bered, next winter may cover her grave with snow. w atch Tower. Risslai rantshmeats. During the proceedings of a court mar tial reoently held at St. Petersburg upon five hussars of the Imperial Uuard, ao cused of having assassinated a sergeant of the squadron, it came out in evidence that the murdered man, in obedionce to orders received by him from his superior omoer, Prince Ubowansky, bod tortured the men under his command with the most revolting barbarity. He was wont to drive them, barefooted, about a bar rack yard bestrewn with sharp flints, and then to steep their wounds in petroleum Other torments of an altogether inde scribable character were inflicted upon bis victims by tbia heartless miscreant Prince Cbowansky, examined by the court with respect to these horrors, avowed that they had been perpetrated by his order, and had tho audacity to add "that nobody but a person utterly ignorant of military matters could expe rience any aurpriseat his method of deal ing with insubordinnte sold ion." His comrades took ocoasion to disavow this assertion publicly; the court acquitted tlm accused from the charge of murder, and the colonel of the regiment, Baron Meyendorff, forwith resigned his com mission. Cbowansky has been placed under arrest, and will be shortly tried for inciting his subordinate officer mall' oionsly to wound the soldiors of the Czar. Esting Between Mfkl. If your children are disposed to be greedy and desire food botween meals, reason with them on the subject. A wo man who has even a very superficial knowledge of the working of the stom aob can explain it to her children in such a way that it will make a strong impres Bion on theirminds. To represent to an imaginative child that the stomach is like a man who, when he has eaten his breakfast goes to work upon that with all his might, and does not rest til he has ground the food up, and given the good part to the blood, so foediog each por tion of the body, not forgetting tho fin gers and toes even, and who rejocts all the bad, keeping you from sickness and pain, will awaken intense interest in the child's mind, and le a great aid to obe- dienoe. Pnt it before him, and ask him if it is not unkind and even cruel to give out another task bofore the first is fin ished, and a little time for rest been given, it will help you greatly in en forcing it npon his mind thai he must not eat at iregular intervals. A child's digestive organs may be weak; he may neod to eat more frequently than a grown person, but should invariably be at some stated time. Cake or pantry should be given him but seldom, if at all; there is nothing whioh is mora ru inous to the digestive organs. A Home. Dr. Holmes says: I never saw a gar ment too fine for a man or maid; there never was a chair too fine for a cobblor or a cooper or a king to sir in; never a house too fine to shelter the human head. These elements about us, the glorious sun, imperial sun, are not too good for the human race. Elegance fits man. But do we not value these tools a little more than they aro worth, and sometimes mortgage a house for the mahogany we bring into it? I hail rather eat my din ner off the bead of a barrel, or dress after the fashion of John the Baptist in the wilderness, or sit on a block all my life, than consume all myself before I got to a home, and take so much pains with the outside that the insido was hollow as an empty nut. Beauty is a great thing, but beauty of house, gar ment and furniture are tawdy oruampnts compared with domestio lovo. All the elegance in the world will not make home, and I would rather give more for a spoonful of real hearty love than for wholo shiploads of furniture and all the gorgeousness all the upholsters in the world can gather." A gentleman in Warren, R. I., who has sometimes assisted in tho transmis sion of messages by telephone, owns a beautiful pot dog named Pat. The dog, having lost sight of bis master, went to the telcphono office in search of him.and the operator, understanding the object of Pat's visit, called for his master at a place where he thought he might be, and informed him that Pat was looking for him, and was immediately answered, and placing tho instrument to the dog's ear, he at onco evidently recognized his master'! voice, and started for the door, greatly excited, and asked, in a dog's anguage. to bo let out thai no mignt go in pursuit of him. fcEME ISO J0S8E3SI. No man is more miserable thau lie that hath no adversity. People's intentions can only bo delud ed by their conduct. Tho pecan crip of Texas this year is valued at $2,000,000. An effort for the happiness of .others lifts us above ourselves. Ualf tho ills we hoard in ourheurts are ills because we hoard them. The best way to silence a talkative person is never to interrupt him. Shallow men believe iu luok; strong men believe in cause and effect. He who throws out suspicion should at once bo suspected himself. Said he to the physician: "What do I want w ith a lung-tester? I've got a tele phone in my oftloe." The country paper having said: "Great credit is due Mr. Smith," etc., Smith showed the paragraph to his grocer. A head properly constituted can ac commodate iUelf to whatever pillows the vicissitudes of fortune may place under it. A New Jersey couple who had been marriod 49 years reoently got a divorce, and ao spoiled a first-class golden wed ding item. A correspondent wants to know where the expression "let up" oomes from. We beliove it comoi from the fellow who isn't on top in the fight. "Cheese it," said the rat to the trap. "I will," said the trap, "and with baited breath I await your coming." "All right," responded the rat, "and I'll wirs you the result." A woman whose first husband had eloped with a pretty servant girl, vacoi nuted the second as soon as she got him with muoilage. She thought that would mako him stick. Phil. Com. A fashion writer says "raised figures" produce excellent effect. Well, that de pends. If they are on a check they sometimes produce the effect of rending the raiser to the State Prison. Humility is a virtue all preach, few practice, and yet everybody is content to bear. Tho master thinks it good doc trine for hit servant, the laity for the clergy, the clergy for the laity. Wasn't Adam the first man to sell tho race? Cincinnati Saturday Night. It looks to us more as though he gavo it away. Elevated Railway Journal. That is the way he got Eve-in with him. Eight out of every ton men in thia country will do more hard work to traoe back tho pedigree of a horse or a dog than to establish the fact that they were related to the most noblo Kings of Europe. . "Why, you dear little girl!" we ex claimed the other day, seeing one of our little friends with her head tied np. "Havo you got the headache?" "No, sir," she answered sweetly, "I'so got a spit curl." A follow who courted a dozen wonion in a twelvo month, promised to marry each, borrowed money and jewels of each and fled, hat been arrested in Lon don. He acted under an inspiration. Hart. Post. We do not agree with Professor Phelps when he says that clergyman weep to conceal the weak points in their ser mons, for if they did there would be a great deal more weeping iu the pulpit than there is now. England, says the London World, is more proline of beautiful and pretty women than any other country in tho world. And quite a good many English men will agree with the London World in that opinion. More bibles were printed and circu lated lost year than during any previous year in the history of Christianity, and the inspired word now exists in tho lan guages of over four-fifths of the inhabi tants of tha globe. Altoona Tribune: Darwin acknowl edged himself matched when hia little niece asked him, seriously, what a cat has that no other animal baa. He gave the matter mature deliberation, and then tho sly puss answered, "Kittons." In the recent cow boy fight at Cald well, Kansas, over 300 shots were fired, ' and the only man killed was one who took no part in the affair. Watching a cow boy fight is almost as dangerous as looking at a New York policeman killing a mad dog. A New Jersey boy blow a bean into a horso'a eye and blinded him, and tho cabman struck at the boy with his whip, and the lash came back, blinding hia left eye. Couldn't havo happened in any ether State in the Union. Detroit Free Prose. Dr. Lowes, the highly educated and ' highly cultured English agrionlturist hat invested in Trustees tho magnifloent turn of 8500,000 for the carrying out af ter his death of the most valuable series of experiments in agricnlture ever under taken in any country. A man who signed himself "Pbilopro- pheticus." wrote a letter to tho Buffalo Courier, but tho Courier is a very re spectable and conservative paper, and wouldn't enoonrage a man who wonld spring tuch a nom de plume on the pub ic, uy printing uis siuu. As far as our experience goes we can not see that a young lady's hand is any warmer in a seal skin muff than it used to be in the old fashioned t-'muuh-quash" kind. To bo sure our experience is more limited now than formerly but what's the use of torturing ourselves with sweet memories of the sleigh-rides of the past. Mr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., is mentioned as a possible occupant of the prospective vacancy in the Supremo Court of Massachusetts. Mr. Holmes is a man of high character and profound legal learning, and, if be has not bis distinguished father's humor, has many of his other valuable and delightful qualities. Mr. Ragbag was only twenty-three when his eldest son was born. We re- memler the day well. Wo congratu lated him. But he didn't seem very jolly. Not but what it was a fine boy, and Ragbag was wealthy, so a family was no burden to him. Bnt he aaid: Good Lord, old friend, juat think of it t Here at tho early ago of twentv-threa I've got to begin tcttisg a good exam pie P