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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 18, 1882)
HEUMK8 TRMMEUIBU'S. M. W. LOKUfUI)W, Ai Meuou narrate, Hurinea described the mincliitei that rank at whole in two myrl it of book, or, M wo ar Informed by Mauaho, b uarfrcllv unturned the nrincliile In In myr iwlhilxtlmuuDtl five bumlmt and I wen It V volume, Our alienator iledloaled lb InvMiiiilloni of their wiadurn t Ihlt doily .In Scribing all Uielr own writing with tho patna fllerme. Iamlilioua. Mill tliruh Kicrpl'i loert place Floe Hie lordly Nile, f Mm it bauki the (real tuna facet with patient einile ; Will the pyrainiil iinMrimii Pierce Hi cloudlet tkiea, Ami (lie Ppliiin ttare with mytterloii HolriiiD, etony ), Bui wber arc tho old Kj.rptian Demi pUmtl kiiif? Notions letl but in liiM-ritiiu tlraveu on atone ind mi. Where are llolmi tn Henhoeatut, Owl of eldest eM f Whore it Herme Terniegialua, Wbo then MvreU held! Where ar now the many hiinUl Tliuni bookt he wrote T -Rr the Tliuniaturgi4 plundered, Loal in laadt remote I Iu oblivion mnk fcwrver, At when o'er the lend Blowi a norm-wind, in the river, tjinki the Milteml wud. Rouiethint, untiiUtUiilial, gluwlly , rVetn tint TlieurgiH, In deep mediUltou uiotlly Wrapped at in t mitt, V(i, i'hauUumal ind tnd uureal, T our Uiought he teem, Walking in a world ideal, tu t Uud uNreaiua, Wat he one, or many, wiiergiu j Name and fame iu on. Like tlream, to which converging Many ttreamlet run? Till, with gathered power proceeding, Ampler tweep it Uket, IVwaward th tweet water leading From unuumbered lake. Br the Nil I tr him wandering, i'auiD now and theu, On the mytlie uuion pondering Botween godt aud meu ; llall-beUevmg, wholly feeling. With iupnrm deligVl, How the godt, themtelrea euucaaling, Lilt men to their height, Or in The), the huudreJ-gated, In th thoroughfare Breathing, if conaecraled A divinerair, And amid dmvrdtnt nuitet, la the loading throng, Hearing far, eeleatial vwietf t'fOh uij'iau aoug. Who ahaJl call hi dreamt fallacioui T Who ha aearehed r (ought All lh unexpired or tpaciout t'nieerM id thought T Who, in hit own ekillm(Uiug, Mull with rule and line Mark the border hand dividing Human aud divin? TntmegiUut I three time grealott ! How tjy nam tuUime II at dveornded Iu lb it latetl Progeny ol time I Happy tti'ey who written fag IVt'uh with their live. If mi id the crumbling ge (Kill their eante lurvtvetT Thine, 0 Mieat of Egp.rt, lately Fouud 1 in lh vax vYtad em-umbervj, tomber, ttatvlv, Crav-yanl nf th I'm! I And a prewnot moJ before at On that gkvmy there, At a wl of wiad, that o'er m Breathed, and waa no mvre. SI TrrwlllSTr' lew: LacKiwaxxs. January 21. "I loll ve . it's a tnowiu' like th' very ol' Nick," aid old Jerry Greening, at x ouue into Klsaunon'i atorw tlio othor eight to gvt a fT of IoIhw, Aier'a Alotn, the oanai rvulovouK, J rhvaxt on aooount ot tho proprietor tllms, ad "the bora" hl la (eniliug Uie evenicg with tu Mianuou lnthera at tb uotv. II tu Ut when Jerrv came iu, anl nun of the lonugent er prvptriog to tart htwe. "Culvtu had rke4 down th bifi coal tore and aa putttUR up Ute tight abutter to protect tue ahow window of the esUhlishmeut, but "'t'uele Jerry" at down on nail kog behind the tov aud took off hi blue woolen comforter, hil tno crowd dia- trtbuted themselvM upa the counter and surround tug tuaokorx l bamiln.w ithm bearing ditanc of tho champion atory teller. remomWr thet ol' jailer cow Si TerwiUigir had eight r uine year 'ro?1 iueriel Jerrr of the venerable Jndg Woatfall. The 1'ik county memWr of the Legis lature replied that he could uot reoulleet the animal referred to, "Why. he bayed, her o' of Judg VTil on, of lloneavlale, and ah wa a re taarkable au'nial," continued Jerry. "Vy gxUly, I know dot Wtle cow off CM,"aaid Oevvgw lle, who at on the other aide of the tov, "I dmk all only $tt one eye, aint it?" "That a jea'iacklywhat I w're a gettiu' i," exclaimed Jerry. "Why, I knowed oaueUvtr mul a retn'bered that tliar cow. Wall, taTeUOMkuffwidder jt now, wiu-h hat got one gxtd eye an' a gjla cue, remindet me o' thet co St' nety bee when he lived np I' Row kaavi', and what a dura cute trick ol' St' played onto a Jaree tattle dealer. Ye know that e a rnle Jarweymea are the meanet, aaktn'e4, eon tern plt'bleel wople that draw the breath of life. I aiai a vpeakin' o" all Janey, but outy o' Smx cncty, an' I Wll Ve what it ia, there aint no word in Mr. WeUteraeo UhNthanary trvng nough t' epre tuy feelia gta a Siiwi county ring JareeyBtas. Why, one o' them rinrtert ud not only Meal th' pen nice v!Tctt a dead nirer' evea but id ahave th' wool o5ea th' isri' hea.1 1' atuff aiadtrvawNt with. I krow what I'm talkta' a!vot. Ut 1'xe aeen a Jartevman who did that very thing. Wall, a Mr. lie were a m' lh a cow hed only ate eye. T'other got put out w hen ah were a -Jf. One da S were dvwn f t!H h.vt Usl o' aia MUford an' there he foaaJ a French taitdummy, I think be called him; l any rate he were a tafeg a btrvta aa' aatnul. "St were into a teller' ahep a h th Oritamaa U1, an' h vat a rv aowe glaaa eyea K-h aa they rat mtonaJsl animal, an what dora he do but bat bay one of Vau When he gH hoM kV trod it into that ecw eyw an' it &ttd her "boat aa aa aa 'J ale' Yam lahotcrV breevh nety fit him when tight paala waa faak'nable. Well, air the cow were wacom son asart. aa' aha aeeaaed la katw thet thr er wen bwcoaun' to her. an' 81 naote to toll Lor low be noon th cow a ooniila o' day arU-r ha bnyed that rye, carry in' a lookin'-glaai which aho itolo ollon tli' back stoop, in nor moutu into the barnyanl, to alio could admire bnranlf an' her new eye. "Wall, one day 'Jong come th'Jaraor cattle-dealer an' he onored nt ft" in caau an' keff o' ratinaok oider for that cow Tho cidor induoouiout were too much for Hi and ho aold her. Arterth Juracyman hed crone a nidne (truck Hi and he went b' ratiroatl atraiirht t' Mil ford. When h sot tlmr lie found th' Jaratiyman led concluded t' luy all ni(;lit tliar at one o' th' third rate hotel an' tho oow were tiod in th' barn. HI joat lipod out t th barn an' nntied th' cow au' drove her t Frank Criaamatt'a an nut her in one th'ntuHox: Then ho jeat tttk out th cow' eluiM eye an' tuck it in liii pocko and went in tit barroom. I'ttttr aoon in come Countable IhmnoU with a war rant for Hi on the charge o' oow atcalin', Undo Ira C'riaainan wero th JtiNttoeo th lVace. 'fore which th' trial waa bronchi Mr. Jaracrman told hia atory an' aid tli very cow waa tn tu atanie now. rti merely anktsl one miration: 'Did th cow Lee two eyes?' an' the Jitrecyman aid: 'Yea.' The caae looked pretty bad for Hi, an' when Ira lot' him t' call 'ia witneaaea he iat aaid: 'Mr fiut witneaa '11 both cow. A'all. ther brnnsr In th' cow, an' aure 'uouuh aho oulr hed ono eye. That act tlist Undo Ira'a 'pinion t' onctan ho di chartrod Hi aud lmt all th' eoata on tli Jaratyman. Wall, cf they waan't one urnriaed Jaraeymao, I'm a liar. lie looked at th' cow, but th' one eyo bed evidently lccn out for years, an' ho were aot back sev'ral Kga. Artor treatin'th' Court Hi html lka lloyd an' Will IUr t drive th cow back t Lackawaxeu an be come home b' rail Wall, ei I were a tellin of it 'Si. be Waved thet trick nuto five or aix Jaraey men an' I guess he made more'n enough offon thet tliar cow t' pay all hia 'lection extionaca th' next fall, when he rnn for Sheriff an' didn't get 'leoted. But haint told ye th com calcitt part o th whole alioliang yet. ow, meube ye won't b'lieve this what I'm coin' to tell ye, but I lope t' swaller this bull paper o tubucker t oncet n taint )unt true s preacuin , "Wall, uo, this is th' remarkablo part of it. th or cow bed a calf "W ell. I don t see anything partieu larlr strange nor yet remarkable in that, Jerrv," interrupted Judge l'idgeway, uuldlr. 'Ef ye'U iust keep yer clothes on a minute, Mr. Hucker Fisherman, crhapa vou'll hear the atntnae nart of it. link ef I'l in going t' bo interrupted by some busted galoot ev'ry time I oien m' durn head, they a no ue o tellin of tt, and the old man arose and began putting on his wrap.. "Fiuiidi it. Uncle Jerry," exolainiej a chorua of attentive listeners. Pulling his oi l nlouch hat over his eyes, with his hand upon the door-knob. the old man said, solemnly, "Well, the alf that this cow had were th' livin im age o' th' old cow, an' th' strange part of it is tnat In call had a glass eye jest lite its mother a. F.f ye can account far it it's moro's I kin do. Good night." How Hal TTa Siifed. More than thirtr vears ago there were two little brothers named Joe and Hal. There was a Urge shed-chamber full of all manner of old rubbish, where they used to play, and tUey found there one day a couple of rusty old tlint-nA-k tuusket. Who ever saw a Ivy that could let a gun alone? They played with thoee guns by the hour "together, and, because they had nothing else to load them with, they broke corn-cob into small piece, and filled the gun completely, full, ramming them in as tight aa they could with the rusty old rain-rods. One dav, when their father was gone to the mill, llal rlitubed up to an upper shelf in tho abed, looking for fish-hooks, aud he found there his father's can of blasting powder, put no there to be out of the Ivy's reach. 114 kuew what it as very well, for he had seen bis tauter use it to blast rock. "llurruh. Joe J" be called. "I've found something now T and w hen he dttnbed down one dirty baud was full of the pow der, l p to the cnaniocr thty rasbed. and made for the gun. "Now we can tire em on: chuckled llal, and he tilled the pwder-pan on oue oi them full, poling in as much as he could through the little hole iu the barrel, but the powder waa so coarse be ould not get tn much, and it tu very luckr for him and Joe both that he could not. Then he snapped and anap (h1 the lock to make the gaa go off, but there was no flint in the lock, and it would not go at all. "I know how to fix it, he said, so be stole slyly down into the kitchen and got match, hia mother, busy at work in the pantry, never seeing him. Up into the chamber again, where he stood the gun against the wall, then lighted the match, and stooped dowu to touch it to Uie powder. Well, the gun didut go off, nor burst; there waa not powder enough inside tor that, so the two little boy were not killed: but the powder flashed in the pan, fiat puff! right into Hat's face. siugcing his eyebrows and eyelashes cloee. That ended the tannin, and llal rei-t vtowa stairs, crying to his mother. W hen his father came home and taw the revl streak acrws Ual'a face, still smarting from the burn, he said be guessed llal was punished enough for stealing the powder. Youth's Com panion. The CirOas KtU t A hall Mersa. At the rorter's Neck Tlaaution. on Uie Sound, the salt spray from the ocea. walW ia kTtowera acroea the intervening banks and Sound by the great storm, kiU4 every living thing ia the fields ex cept the peanuts, which, curious to say. seeOHM to have benefited by the brine shower bath. AU the leavee'cn a mock orange Hedge, eomtneocuig ia close roximitr to the Sound and mania back about one mile, were completely kilieJ. while the leave oa the tree ia the neighborhood all died and. dropped ol, aad theu place have sine been supplied ty new coea. Lvea uie old sycaaore shed their verdare asd absvqaenUy doaaed a grb store becomiait th bad- diac. loeaiB( spnag than ue asaally cod aad depraeaua aataata. Wdaua(- CIEL "Now, Charlie, you'll member." ue sure to re "To romnmbor what T" ai J Mr. Mode rith with tlopoloHS expression of insan lty on lia countenance. Kuto Medcritb dropjiotl both lands despairingly at lor lidos. "Charles!" she exclaimod, "you don't mean to say that yon have forgotten al roadv 7" "Mr dear." aaid Mr. MeJorith, fumb ling in the depth of lis overcoat pockot for a m Hsins clove, i may not nave lor gotten, but I don t just exactly romcm bor." "The ovsters." stiggostod his w lfo "Oh, yea the oysters," said Mr. Mod eritb. "And the two ounces of doublo zephyr wool." "Exactly." "And the depot lack to lie waiting at two o clock for your cousin from Tuna dolnhia." Mr. Me.luritli slapped one band on the table. "She is coming to-duy; I dudare to iroodnoss! be ejtoulated. "And a dozen Havana orongos lor ties sort, and two pounds of wluta grajies and some of the delicious littlo aples biscuits and macaroons oh, and let them sond up a girl from St. Clair's." "A-wbiob?" "A ffirl. yon goose; for general lonse work. Plube went home this morning with face-ache, and I can t be left hero alone with company coming and all. Mind she's a good cook and understands waitioir on the table. And Mr. Medcrith rushed off to catch the 9.M express, with kaloidoscopic con fusion of grapes, zephyr wool, dopot hacks, ovsters and serving maids career ins through his brain, which boded ill fur Mrs. Mederith s domostio plans. While that lady, eloping both hands over lor lead in a sort of tragic despair, rushed down into the kitchen, where a very good looking young man of two or throe and twenty was on his knees, in front of the range, trying to coax a most unwilling fire to burn. "Well T" aaid be. "Tom." cried she. hysterically, "eau yon make a lobster salad ?" "Like a book." said Tom. "And coffee t" "I learned in Taris." "Qood. And I can make butter-milk biscuit and between ns, we can get np a decent lunch for a young lady from Philadelphia. As for dinner" "Well? again remarked the young man with the soot-bespangled nose. "Frovidonce must provide," sighed the matron. "There's an old chinti-colored rooster in the barnyanl. If I could catch lim, I'd have a chicken stew. "Tom, did you ever make a chicken stew " No." Then you don't know what you are talking about," said the lady, with some asjvnty. les 1 do, too. Unions, potatoes. oclerv, pearl barley, with a pinch of salt-" Nonsense !" interposed Mrs. Mere- ilith. "Go pick that lobster out of its shell, and leave off romancing. You are a deal letter at poetry and newspaper sketches thau you are in the kitchen; though, to be sure," with a twinge of conscience, "goodness knows what I should do without you just at this par ticular emergency vou dear old dar ling." The lobster was only half picked out of its shell, the butter-milk biscuit was still unmixed, .and Mrs. Meredith, with pocket haudkerchief tied around her pretty brown hair, was dusting the little drawing room, when there came a ring at the door bell. She put the perturbed head out of the window in a most uncere monious manner. 'Who is there" she demanded in a hix'h contralto. lKvs Mrs. Meredith live here? re torted a woman's voice. And at the same instant the' yonng matron caught sight of a neat, back leather hag. black Ipaca dress and a shawl of the plainest Highland plaid. 'It s th new girl, thank Providence. said Mrs. Meredith, as aho ran down the itairs. thanking honel Charlie in her heart for his unexpected promptness.'' "t. ome m, said she, opening the door ide, "I am so g'ad that von are punc tual, my good girl. From St. Clair's intelligence bnreaa, I suppose ? No, don't take your thing off bere; the ser vant's room is down stairs; so you might just as well come immediately down to the kitchen. She led the way down, followed by the new girl, whose countenance bore a rather bewilderedexpreeaion. What is your name?" she asked pat- ronixingly. XI v name? Oh, it a Martha, re plied the stranger, m still greater con fusion. Martha?" critically repeated Mrs. Meredith; "What an aglv name! I think I shall call vou Patue. Have yea good reference,'" I I believe so." I thick," said Mrs. Meredith sar- veyiag her from tip to toe, "yoa are a nle over-dressed for roar situation. Patue; but of course voa hav socio lamer clothe ia voar trunk, when it comes?' The stranger lifted a pair of grave. blue eyes to the tall fona girdled around ith a towel, who was vigorously wrest ling with the claws of a stupendous lob- er at the talue bevoad. "IX Joa keep a maa iwlf asked the rl. Mrs. Meredith drew herself up. "Certainly not Thvs i or briber. Mr. Selwva, who is kiadly a:in me to make a salad." "Bat he ia not Joins riht. He ill never get the meat out ol the shell ia that way. Let me slow voa. Mr. Selwva." Aad with deft fhvr she loosened the hite fiber from the siell ia a manner that made Mr. Selwva ere bravo! "Aed now, Patue, I will show yoa her the things are, aad leav voa to gel an as ake a luach aa yvm can. for at 130 o clock we are exrHiac sit haa- baaJ'e eoosia front PhiWptua. 1 waat rervihiaf ia petfv1 order. "I win fluih that ssuad." said Tom. ho had secretly been Wmu the pretty face aad tries trar of the new 4vmatx aow that I har eeeasaaced it. Fal yea aeavl aol lock partarbed. fatte, if that ia roar BAaasv. 1 wul be Till 1ITT cartM ajct to 4 u yoor way. lad yx ak my sister if I am not bandy sort of fellow around the kitchen. Kate shook her load surreptitiously at Tom behind the screen, but le reso lutely affected not to porceive tie warn ing gesture. Half an hour afterward le came np to the dining-room, wlere Mrs. Meredith was arranging her best lilao and gold china. "Kate, she is a jewel. A gem of tie first water. Depend upon it she las not always worked in a kitchen. I quoted Shakespeare, apropos of something or other, I do not remember what, and she recognized the grand old words at once her eyes brightened, and yon should lave seen the color come into her cheeks." "Quoting Slnkspeare to a common kitchen girl!" cried Mrs. Meredith, in amazement. "But I toll you she is not a common kitchen girl." "I don t believe in high life below Htiiirs "said lis sister, disdainfully. Tha lunch came no nt 2:30 in perfect order, but no cousin from Philadelphia arrived, no hack rolled up to the door, How provoking," said Kate. . "AIiss Meredith must lave missed some con nectinir train. Charlie will be so vexed Uut, however, I do not so much mind company comincr iu at any time, now thut I have trot an excellent Kin. Tho dinnor of delicately roastod quail und rabbit frioassee, with a desert of custard and jelly, was duly served at precisely seven o'clock, at which hour Mr. Aleredith bounced in, not ana flushed with the haste le lad made. "Wlere is she!" "Where is who?" cried Kate. "My cousin from Philadelphia." "Oh! she has not come," "Not oome?" "Xo." Mr. Meredith drow a sigh of mingled regret aud relief. Then, after all; it is not so very un luck." said he. W hat is not so very unlucky? My dear Charles, you are expressing your self altogether in riddles." "That I forgot all about the oysters and the zephyr wool and the servant girl. "iorgot? "Yes forgot! Isn't that plain Eng lish?" "But you did not forget, remonstrated Mrs. Meredith. "She is here now in the kitchen." Mr. Meredith started. "I have seen no one. ever thought oi the gin irom that moment to this. I give yoa my word and honor. Then who did send her?" ejaculated lis w ife slowly. 'King the teli. Let ns have her np here. Who knows but she is one of thoee confidence women with an eye to the forks and spoons? As he spoke he jerked the bell cord with some energy. In a minute or two the new girl came up courtesying. Mr. Meredith uttered an exclamation of amazement. "Why, it is Martha Meredith!" shouted he. "It is my cousin from Philadelphia." And he clasped her ia bis arms with a shower of kisses which made honest Tom's hair stand on end. "I wish she was my cousin feom Phila delphia," he uttered, in a stage whisper, aside. Kate turned as scarlet as a pepper pod. "Oh. good gracious!" she cried, clasp ing her lands nervously, "and I took her for a cook." I am a cook when occasion requires, cousin Kate, said pretty Martha .Mere dith, making her peace with a kiss. Don be vexed with me for humorin e the joke; indeed 1 could not help it. And I will show you how to make meringues, glances, and the Neapolitan to-morrow. And they all sat luopilv down together o the roast quails and fricasseed rabbits. And Kate and Martha went to the In ternational Bureau on the morrow, es tablished a Milesiau damsel in the rounding, and Tom, leaning over his sister's shoulder, whispered: Didn't I tell vou she was a gem of the first water?" 5ewpapen and stuck Jobbery If the excellence of a newspaper is not .Iwavs measured by its profitableness, it is generally true that if it does not pay its owner it is valueless to the pnblic. Not all newspapers which make money are good, for some succeed by catering to the lowest tastes of respectable people, and to the prejudice, ignorance and pas sion of the lowest class; but as a rule the successful journal pecuniarily is the best journal. The reasons for this are on the surface. The impecunious news paper cannot give its readers promptly the news nor able discussion of the news, and, still worn, it cannot be independ ent The political journal that relies for support npon drippings of party favor or patronage, the general news paper that finds it necessary to ex istence to manipulate stock reports, the religions weekly that draws precarious support from puffing doubtful enter prises, the literary paper that depends upon the approval of publuhers, are poor affairs, and ia the long ma or short rua come to grief. Some news papers do succeed by sensationalism, as some preachers do; by a kind of quack ery, aa some doctors do; by truuming and shifting to any momentary popular predjudice. as some politicians do; by becoming the pttid advocate of a personal ambition or a corporate enterprise, as some lawyers Jo; bat the newspaper oc'.y becvoes a real cower when i't is able, on th basis of pecuniary indepen dence, to free itself from all such en-taa!meBts- An editor who stands with hat ia Land has the respect ac corded to any ether beggar- Jauraa! of Social Scieoce. They were all cosine back from ; Mont Carlo, say th London World, aad taey played "hatard wuh three strafigvr ia th railway carriage. Lack raa against them; a&d. laie ia the after-a-x, one of them picked ap oe of the dsce, asd critically remarked: "Hallo! there arw two sixes oa this chap!" The senior stranger promptly seixed the sus pected cab, laspertni it, aad sisply eierviaar. How anfortaaate? another aaiaprintr threw the bit of ivory oat of th window. Th tosriau dal aot pUy aay nor. H that kadeth to a tnaa gireth to a alooaiat. Innrcta la India. Vm lira we A fAna lv arrived in the nn r lirintrink kutoho house Lrinks and mud mortar) have made yourself comfortable therein, and are going to lave your first dinner party. All your knick-knacks re proudly displayed on your uu,uu ia the centre blazea your lamp nir,i Tli a iiinnnr hour approaches. and you nervously take a look around to :... . n a ... amtAlta ee that all is right. . une or i wwtv., new to yon. are fluttering about the lamp or on the table, and in brushing mem oK you perhaps nonce uuv same insects are ewarming out of a ner or from tho floor. Yonr guests ar rive, and wlile receiving and marshalling them in to dinner the insect invasion las assumod formidable proportions, so that when you sit down to soup, you find the air around the lamp alive with termites, and yonr fair cloth covered with them. Everv souD-plate is stuffed ' with tbem.ae also your glasses ol sherry In despair, you appeal to the company or to vonr table nttondant. and are ad vised to remove the lamp at once from tie tuble. On doing so, the invaders on the wing are diverted; and then yon no tice that the thousands on the table dropped their wings broadcast and are now hascing one another about. In com parative darkness you finish your dinner and adjourn to the drawing-room. When yonr glasses lave left, curiosity takes yon back to the dining-room, and you find the table and the site of the removed lamp strewed with myriads of wings, and their owners nowhere. Watch the insects outside, and the sight is equally wonderful. From a spot in the ground where you would leasi ex poet it, you find one or two termites nut tering in the air; watch them narrowly, and yon will find a minute hole, fur too minute for the hordes which are squeez inir out of it and then rising into the air, Around tho lore half a dozen wingless workers are fussing frantically. But let us watch the perfect insects, and return afterwards to the workers. Soon we see a pyramidal clond of insects in the air, the apex resting over the hole. This be comes denser and spreads wider as the breeze catches their wings. News of the flight have been telegraphed far and wide. Sparrows and crows, fly-catchers and king-crows, kites and minas flock to the scene and gorge on the flyers. (Kites feast laboriously; every termite individually seized with the ons and then disposed of by is tal the beak). If evening is setting in, bats and even frugivorous flying foxes join in the revel, and termites are devoured in myriads. Then again to the hole where the last termite has emerged, and you will find the workers busily en gaged in plastering it up again and de stroying all traces of the flight. The few survivors of the swarm seek the earth, drop their wings and disappear. The dropping of the wings is a marvellous process; two pairs, with all their ma chinery of blood vessels.nerves and liga- ments.are instantaneously dispensed with and the insect seems livelier than ever; and this mutilation occurs precisely at the same momeut. Seize a termite by the winss at the wrong moment and he will struggle violently to escape, the wings remaining firm in your grasp Seize it at the right moment and you will see it lift its body upward and backward like an earwig, deliberately unhook its wing aud so escape. (Chambers Jour nal. 1 Plait and Easy rTay Hams. Of Carlos The principal thing in curing hams is to get them just salt enough to keep them, and not so salt as to injure the tin vor and cause them to become bard, Hams sLouLabe neatly trimmed aud cut rounding, to indicate as closely as may be the hams of commerce, lnni closely, so that there shall bo no masses of fat left at the lowest extremity of the hams, The shoulders mav be cut in shape con venient for packing, and they should be salted in separate packages from the hams. Hams are cured bv both dry-salting and brine. When drv-salting is cm- ployed the hams are rubbed often with salt and sugar. Dot ween each rubbing they are bunched np on tables or plat- torms, the surlace of which is spread with a layer of salt, and each ham is also covered with salt. ben taken np to rub, which is nsuallv done five or six times, a shallow box js at hand in which to do work. When brine is used, prepare a pickle strong enough to float au egg aud stir into a suthcient amount of sugar and mola-ess to give it a sweetened Uste. Some add a little saltpeter to color the meat, while others claim that it tends to harden the meat. In moderate quantity it ia commonly accepted as beneficial. Cover the hams with the pickle and place the packages where the tempera ture ia uniform and above freezing. For hams of twelve pounds, four weeks will b sufficient; large hams must remain in the briae a longer time. Ia general, three to seven weeks embraces the ex tremes of time required for domestic cur ing of hams, varying as to the size of the hams, temperature and time when they will be required far nse. When it is de signed w preserve Laxs through the summer thtv must not be removed from the pickle too soon. One of Yivier's favorite performances: Having marked down his prey, aa elderly citiren who baa criered a class of beer and ia preparing to assimilate it on the asphalt ia front of a cafe, Yirier approaches and salntea hia profoundly, then, with tainted vula'ilitv and brusiness, tiias address Lia: ' Jijasiear, I aa cc of th inspectors of the new Deoartaiett of Cheoil Analysis established for the rurca of detecusg aJaltetition ia artcle of daily eoasuaspftcn. I Lav been de lated to the subject cf Ur. Vt fac beisr knows to th proprietor's of th establishment, if I were to order as v- thnaj they KLl take the aLara atd err m qu;s a di'reat ariil tad tha baS tee. Penut aw, therfcre,to tast yoar ber." Toe stupe&ed Tvrtia cSera aa r2 i- aa aad Yivier draia th giaaa ai drasht, aad aU it dew remarkons "Exotueat! excellent! Tex caa dnak that beer wiii ispaaiSr! I f1t j-, the wane of acieac aad the axaajdplrv for yvmi aasesiih ctxmssen. Good arseraooa: uer. asotasr beer fc fattlaaaar aad vaaiahea. Captivated by 111 Ova TT If. "Professor, can you teach me to sing?" asked a lady of a mnsio teacher. "Yes, if vou choose to apply yourself earnestly.' "I will, and if you can manage it so that I need not !e seen, and that no one knows of it, I will take a lesson every day." The lady never failed to appear promptly at tho lour. She was so anxious 'and so persevering that.sle made the most extraordinary progress, and her voice was so strengthened and developed as to be almost beyond recognition. Some mouths after the close ofler tuition she called on the professor and said, "I lave come to'thunk you for making uie tho happiest woman alive." She then explained that ler husband to wloni sle was deeply attocled, wus pas sionately fond of vocal music, and had always regretted that sle could not sing to him. She hod never cultivated ler voice be fore marriage, and afterward the child ren, and claims of society lad prevented ler attempting it, but the unlucky day came when Mr. E. made the acquain tance of a widow with a charming voice, who was always willing to sing sweet songs to lim, and le fell into the way of spending many of lis evenings with ler. At heart devoted to lis wife, le was unconscious of Us grodaal neglect of ler, and would lave been astonished if she had resented bis enjoyment at these musical tete-a tetes. Mrs.' R., like a nice woman, did not resent it, but under mined the enemy. Her music lessons she kept a profound secret from ler fam ily. In tie summer they went, as usual to the country. The morning after their arrival the lo cal paper contained a notice that tho leading soprano oi tne episcopal cnurcn was ill with a throat affection, and the congregation was asked to make due al lowance for the disabled choir. The next morning Mr. II., with two of the children, wended lis way to the church of his belief, Mrs. R. having excused herself on the plea of a headache After the opening service the minister announced that "a lady from a distance lad kindly volunteered to sing in place of the sick soprano, and in consequence the musical servico would be the same as usual." A few moments later a clear, sweet voice rang in the church, and touched the hearts of the people, perhaps, even more through the exquisite expression and feeling with which the mnsio was rendered than the qualities itself. Mr. R. was fascinated, delighted, and inwardly made compari sons between it and the witching widow not flattering to the latter. After the services were over le eagerly sought the minister to ascertain the name of the charming soprano, whose face le lad not been able to see from his seat. " 'Come with me and I will introduce rou,' said the minister, who knew Mr. ti. by reputation. They entered the hoir together, and the good man began, 'Mies Brown, permit me to introduce ' when he was interrupted by Mr. R. ejaculating, 'Great heavens, it is my wife!' And, place and company notwith standing, le gave ler a hearty embrace in bis delight and surprise. To cut the story short, le fell in love with ler all over again, the singing siren was for gotten, and you could find a happier couple nowhere. To mark the occasion Mr. K. gave his wife a magnificent set oi diamonds, which she wears with a great deal of pride.'' All of which is true. The King of Slam's Elephant. Some ten weeks ago, says the London Telegmph, the king of Stum received a dispatch from one of his Provincial Gov ernors informing lis Majesty that a brand-new deity, in the shape of a snow- white elephant, hiul been captured in an outlying district of the kingdom, and was actually on its way to Bangkok, the Siamese capital. The joyful tidings were greeted with indescribable enthu sinni at court, and the King at once re solved to start in person, accompanied by his Ministers, grand officers of State, and exalted clergy, upon a processional excursion with the object of meeting the divine pachyderm half way, and of es corting it to Bangkok with all imagina ble pomp and ceremony. The cortege, headed by his Majesty, had lot pro ceeded many miles on it rood toward the interior before it encountered the object of its pilgrimage. Approaching the elephant with profound reverence and many humble salutations, the King knelt down at its feet and reverently placed its trunk npon bis head and shoulder, imploring its protection and favor. Having thus paid public homage to the large quadruped and received its blessing by the "lmpositur proboscis. his Majesty drew his sword and took up a position on the elephant's right flank, supported on the animal s left by the High Priest carrying a golden wand. Thus headed, the procession entered Bangkok.where the new god was greeted by salvos of artillery and a ceneral salute of the royal troops paraded on either side of the route leading to the palace. Having escorted the elephant to hia apartments the King formally be stowed npon his sacred guest the rank of reigning monarch, and decorated it with the Grand Cordon of the Siamese Order bearing its own style and title. The household of the new deity .has since been organized npon a truly royal scaie. Lvery article iledieateo. to the white elephant's use and service is of massive gold or rare oorcelain.and popu lar offerings to the value of many thou sands of pounds were deposited at its shrine before it had been established forty -eight hours in its splendid quar ters, immediately adjacent to the King's own private suit of apartments. A Curious OTltHltinn nf narliamAnfjirr procedure will arise on account of the disappearances o Mr. Walter Powell, M. P.. for MllmiKhnpr IK aaprtnant who is not likely to ever be heard of aia. According to the English law. where there is no actual authentic procf of death, aa individual for civil pur Pe is supposed to be alive at least for a eertaia number of yearr. Malmea- burV Will b thnft witliAnt muiiI. trv aU the next general election, wbxa Keaos the loss of a vote to the Tones. A Phpadelplda judgw say he can are nK, ocvweea, gambling u tacks aad gambling of any other kind. Probably la kaa lost ia both wav.-S.