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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (March 26, 1881)
A BESniSCTXCE OF WAR. In city recently on business, having to wait an idler among a paty of bus iness men in the office o( Uio gontlumen ,ritli whom I had to do, every momont seeming to stretch its slow length along to an hour; the situation became unbear able; and having ascertained when I migLt expect to meet niy man with a de gree of certainty, I "went to occupy tho time in a ramble. I had been absent from the city sev eral years, during which time the enter prise of man had wrought many changes, interested in observing these, and hav ing once followed tho occupation of a seaman, about noon I found myself among the shipping. The day was a seoreuer. uteu and parched, t stepped into a restaurant of an inviting appearance, and took a soat by a table at a retired pivrtof the room. While I was waiting for tho refreshment: hud ordered, a man entered who drew ray at tention. Above tho medium height, slightly built, but ovidontly aotive and rigorous, all ncrvo and muscle, ho appeared about flftv vcars of age, though I afterward learned he was seventy. Smartly dressed with diamond studs in Ins shirt front, and an elaborate display of gold chain festooned across his vest, ho had a blend ing of the dundy, the business man and the sailor. The other tables all being occupied, he eame to that by which I sat. It may Lave been tho particular notioe I took of him that dcculod Ins choice; for lac Vnowlcirdo I am Given to tho lmporti nence of observing closely, if not stariag at strangers wbo interest mo. My companion of the moment, observ inu this, remarked: "You are admiring my beauty-spot." He bod a scar on lis face, extending along the cheek to the mouth. "An honorable wound got in tho late war," I replied, slightly blushing at my impoliteness. "No," he answered; "I've carried it more than forty years. "Yon must have been a mere boy at that time. "One of Tom Collin's boys; inoro " I smiled equivocally, as the only an swer I could mako to a saying familiar to sailors, but unlit for mint. "You seora to bo on idler and curious (Here he drow out his watch a massive gold articles and opening the caso with toncn 01 ins uiumo, gianceu at me dial.) "I have a few minutes to spare and 111 tell you how I got it." referring to the scar. "It happened in Florida, during the Seminole war. I was with a party sent by the navy department to explore the oust ooast in advance of tho troops. Ba you, lagoon, a river, there was none of any size, lrum ci. mm jr a w ivej env that we did not scour. Continually on the move, most of the time on short ol lowance, with none but swamp water to drink, in which one could havo found un abundance of food, both animal and veg etable. if he could have digested it, we had a rouch time. "We had ascended ono of these rivers as far ns we could go, and were return ing, when we came iu sight of an old squaw on a pony, coursing the bank. The instant she was discovered our command ing officer sent a party in chaso, thensig nailed for the whole command, auite 1 fleet of light boats, to close at a cortain point on the shore. "We had with us a man who acted as both soout and interpreter. He was one of those queer chaps one occasionally meets drifting about alone in out-of-the-way places; as fine a looking fellow as you could wish to see. Liko most men who live alone, he was no chatterer. He let his eves supply the place of his tongue; and they were wonderfully elo quent. Thev promptly and plainly told the lieutenant commanding that their owner thought our closing on the beach a bad manoeuvre, notwithstanding me place whore we landed was an open pine barren; the pines growing out of white sand that would yield nothing elso ex cept fleas, plenty of them. "The old squaw was takon. Indeod, she didn't strain any of her driving gear in her attempt to got away. Accustomed to his man, tho lieutenant consulted tho scout's eyes. They said, 'She's a spy and a decoy.' And she acted the part to perfection. It was only when the rope was around her neck and thrown over tho branch of a young pine that she would Bpeak. A mile or so distant was a party of about a hundred Indians, with a lot of cattle and slaves they'd stolon from the planters. This was the old wo man's story. "Tho eyes, again consulted, said, Don't believe her.' But the officer, naturally headstrong, wouldn't listen. He had more whisky aboard than was good for him, and a'Sonthemor, death on catching runaways. These must have gone into his brain with the whisky, and . completely turned his hood. Tor he was a gallant and a loyal oflicer, and would not else have gone beyond his instruc tions, which strictly forbado his seeking an engagement with the enemy. "When the scout saw that the lieuten ant was determined on the adventure, he proposed to go alone in advance, and re connoitre. But the lieutenant would not permit him, apprehensive that the Indians would take alarm and escape with the negroes. Drawing us up in a lino like so many marines, ho stepped to theiront, and with the oir of a Cwser, made ns a speech, in which ho reminded us of onr. duty to the government, the honoirof the flag, und the prize money we should gain by a recapture of the slaves. He then gave the word to ad vance. 1 "Ho stalking on before, leading the van, we crossed the barren at an angle of forty-five with the river, going about half a mile, when we came to a bog, or stream of black mud, so soft that we sank knee deep at every step. A good rifle shot across it was, with no signs of vegetation till we reached tho farther aide, whero the more solid ground was occupied by a hummock all kinds of trees and shrubbery interlaced, with Tines. "So far we had come with a degree of military ordor; but now we had to make our way as best we could. You may bet there was tome scattering. We couldn't have much beyond a quarter of a mile, though it seemed a great deal farther from the difficulty we met in making our way, when it lightened np, as we came to an opening a couple hundred yards in width; the ground covered with till, yousg grass, but sot a tree. T fi - 1 3: 1 . icii 01 ice cominund, a little in advance wnen leraorged from the I juitnock. I had advanced ten yards, perhaps, when I was startled by the report of a hundred rifles, mingled with which was tho hiss of a storm of bullets, followed br that uuiunring yeu in wuicu savagamen.be they Indians or Anglo Saxon, give vent to rage. I confess that my heort never before, nor has it since, bout as it did at mat moment; and I stood wholly dazed. Hut the instinct of self preservation, or uuujvct 11 may iiove been, soon steady tog my norvos aud clearing mv bruin, I looked around for shelter. 'ThnnMi just then outside the main current of bullets, I did not know how soon it might spread to me. A few feet distant was a ialniotto. or cahlaco tree, that hml been lulled so 1 . . . . 1 ions taut not lunar ro warned cf the fronds but tho stalks. wumu were ory aim brittle aspipe stems. As I dropped behind this I heard our lads cheer, returning the fire of the red skins; and their voices coming from tho heart, so to speak, affected mo as I cuu not express. I folt I1L0 leaving my cover und rushing into the hummock where the red devils were coneealod. It was the reaction t Iter that fright "I soon cooled down, however, and crawled, snake fashion to the head of the palm whero I could look through tho tuft of stalks to the direction whence came the firing on tho enemy's side. 1 could seo none of tho foe, excepting ono of tlioae blacks tho lieutcuaut was after, Tall, rather slim, and straight as an ar row, ho was entirely uaked, except for a ...l.:... ..1. .1. i i . i .1 1 wuiio uuui wrapped uoout ills tuigus and tho lower part of his stomach. A sprinkling of gray in tho close knots that covered his small round head (ro niaikably well shaped, for ono of his race) showed ho was advanced in years. He was, nevertheless, as lithe and active in his movemonts as a yuonpr.woll-trained athlete. His position was far to the right of where I lay, the lino of vision making an acute angle with that of the hummock iu which be stood behind tho tree which concealed him from our lads more di rectly in his front. While the reds yelled incessantly, this black did a ter rible execution in a griui and sinister silence. "I don't pretend that I was go cool as to make tboso observations at my leisure The fact is a was in I sweat, thinking how I could escae from my perilous situation. I could havo been behind that palm but a few minutes, yet more passed through my noddlo thau I could relate in hours. 'To return to the black warrior ho hns just discharged his piece, and re loading it, whon, drawing my riilo for ward, as I lay at length and taking sight betwoen the stalks I let drive. I saw my man drop his lido and leap. Thd noxt moment my screen of stalks, crackling as if attacked by fire, was shattered al most into dust by riflo balls,oue of which struck me in tho face, happily without touching a bone. No knife could have made a cleaner wound. I scarcely felt it at tho time, though it has loit the ngly scar yn see. The moment I drew their their fire I sprang to my foot and ran for shelter into the hammock where our lads wore. "Until that day I had but a poor opin ion of tho blacks as fighters. They were not ndmittted into the army at thut period only as servants and teamsters, but were takon into the navy, uur Btatosmen, it wonld annear. have always thought that any kind of material was good enough "a m 1 .1 to make a sailor oi. e nan several with ns. One, a bright mulatto, was a favorito with all in the command into which, by his good catured sallies and constant cheerfulness, he had often put heart whon we had boen disposed to give way under the hardships and privations consequent to the servioe we were on. Upon this occasion ho conducted him self as eallantly under fire as it was pos sible to any of whatever nation, color or rank. 'Our lieutenant had by tins time dis covered that ho caught a Tartar, and must abandon the prize. He had no doubt made up his mind to die on tho fiold rather thau escape to disgrace However, ordering the bugler to sound 'Sauvo qui pent' ho stepped out to a full view of the yelling red devils, as coolly as if on parade muster on board ship. It would have boen a miraclo if he had escaped that storm of bullets. When he fell, Sam, tho mulatto, aud one or two othors, ran to his assistance. But tho brave fellows never reached him. Obeying, in the liveliest manner, his last order. "Everybody f lnft for him self!" we made all sail for tho boat. I had been in several uncomfortable posi tions since, but nono that I would have been willing to exchango for that of latino- Tom Cox s traverse through the bush with those Seminolos after me like a pack of hounds in full cry oxocpt that of crossing the naked bog with the rod devils dropping us right aud left; speak ing with relation to my own placo in the straggling line of so many of us as got back in it. "It was nothing elso than a massacre. Out of a hundred and thirty-nve we numbered when we left the boats, wo mustered twenty-two when we reached the post to which we made onr way. Here ho again gioncea at ins wuicu. "Mv time's up, and I'm glad it is. I always feel moan when I think of that affair; though there were more thau six hundred warriors, as we afterward learned, ambushed in that hummock, in wait for a large body of troops known to have boen approaching; and of which they doubtless mistook us for tho ad vance euardi else it's mite propablo I should not bo here to relata iho story. While he was speaking he ro3e; and, giving his glass a hasty twirl, to roviyo its drooping contents, ho as hastily dis posed of these. Then saluting me with a polite movement, ho left with t quick, buoyant step that would shame many a man" of thirty. Ladies, as a rule, are not good judges of seal skin. They usually choose goods according to the price, and if they pay for the nest, imagine inuv uicj umo jlanuiaciurers say tuut 110 uu uu an expert can choose between seal-sun varying twenty dollars in price, and that there is no material difference in the wear of one costing two hundred dollars and one costing two hundred and fifty dollars. TTTilaries. n. A disease peculiar to women, which may usually bo consid ered aa a sign that the system requires new bonnet. . unci am uscovereu, lor i eonia see no one, I was on the extreme OUT OF GREAT TIUDUUTIOX. UBY aSKO CIOWILL. It certainly was a strango place in which to be married, elegant and lux nrioui though the suit of rooms was to which Erie brought his betrothed for the ceremony, and Lahian felt the unwonted strangeness of it all oven moro keonly than she had expected to. But it had all boen so strange so strangely strango that it woe almost past realizing, even now, when the irrev ocable words had been said, and Lillian Dale had signed her muiden name for tho last time, and had been congrat uluted well, the cold, half haughty. hulf-sarcustio well wishes of the dozen or so ladies who had been invited to witness tho cereuiouy, seemed hardly liko con grrutulutions to her. Of course, sho could not but . know that whilo beautiful Lillian Dale would have been cut dead by overy one of the aristocratio women who had come to see her married, Mrs. Hubert Erie would be received and feted everywhere, envied. and perforce a I mi red und courted. Ami she was Mrs. Hubert LrIo; she, who three little months ago hail seen his handsome face for the. first time iu tho orchestra chair of a Western town opera house, whilo she wa3 singiug ou its stage. That was what she was a singer 111 traveliug opera troupe, a glorious-faced, glorious-voiced songstress who was inak- I..- 1... .... .........,. .:..:.. herself slowly into fame. And Lrle had fallen beadlong in love with hor at first sight not tho lust beau tiful girl he had ever cared for, by a many, but the very first who had eon qnered him so utterly, wholly, entirely, that ho not only lost his heart but his head. He managed an introduction, aud Miss Dale proved just as lovely and entranc ing, face to face, us with tho footlights between them; just as intelligent, and re served, and refined, and ontortoiuiug, in a tete-a-tete of an hour, as during a fow minutes' flirtation. So the result was ho told her just bow it was with him, and ottered hor his numo, his hand, his fortune, his love, and thoroughly conviucod her he adored her. Do yon think many women wonld have refused him? And although Lilliun Erie, looking back from tins hour lust after tho woddiug ceremony, knew she nover had loved him, bIho knew that she wonld do her best, her greatest best, to nover let him regret what he had done. It was almost heart breaking that sue did not love him, could not love him; for ho was so entirely enthralled by hor, so perfectly devoted, and was one of thofco handsome, gallant mon who are so irresistible in their way with women. lHiNides, lie had done so much in taking her from her obscure position, and placing hor whore all his world of social exclnsivoness, and wealth, and aristocracy might know, aud admire, and envy her, as the wife of such a man as Hubert Erie would have to command ad miration and envy. But. after all. tho half pitiful stranco- ncss of her marriage in the comfortless hotol-room for she had no honip, had known no settled home for years, poor child! after the half-shamed, half- wounded wav in which sho bail, appar ently, so haughtily and indifferently re ceived the congratulations of hor hus band s guests after it all, and tho guests wero gone, and eho nnd Erie were left alone then hurt and paiuod her so keonly, that, knowV edgo that ho deserved so much an could receive so little nt her hands be cause sho did not, could not, love him; And there was such possibility of not sorbing passion in even her face, in hei exquisitely-curved and colored lips, her lovely, whito-lidded oyos passion and levotion that the master-hand had not vet arousod from its sleep and she was his wife, and he loved her so dearly, and accounted all things loss in the balanoe with hor love. Something of such a fooling expressed itself in his bandsomo face ns, tho last guest gone, he took hor caressingly in his arms. "My precious littlo darling! my blessod little wifo!" And is ever a woman meant it, Lillian Erie meant it when she looked up in his faco with her perfect blno eyeB, clear, pure and Binning as a summer sky, and answered him: "You are so good, Bertie you are so good to me! It seems aa if it must all be some wonderful dream from which will have to wake." 1 He held her beautiful golden head down against hin breast, with a caress of such infinite tenderness. . 1 And are you clad it is not a dream; litif a linantifnl vmilifv T.iltip?' UUV W .V. Kit... U. .V.U.. J , Sho whispered her answer: ; "Could I bo sorry, Bertie? Would any woman be sorry?" i "Lillio, look me In tho eyes a moment yes, there, like that, while yon say something to me you never have said yet, throngh all our courtship. But surely my wifo will tell me that sho loves me? Dear, did you know you havo nover, in so many words, told me that yoa love me?" The faintest littlo smile cnrled her lips. How her heart sunk at his tender words! "Did I never really? You know I am not very demonstrative, Bertie, but, but Why, how absurd! Am I not your wife? Of course, I I lovo you !" And the sweet, hesitant words, that stirod all his blood, carried with them none of the heart-breaking truth. The days and weeks went by, every ono of them teaching Hubert Erie to love his beautiful wife moro and better; and so gentle, so good was she, that ho never dreamed thut the sometime re straint in her manner, the desperuto, hopelessly patient look in her eyes.meant thut her heart was starved, because he could not furnish it its nourishment. That summer time, he took her to his villa at Long Brunch a spacious, mag nificent home on tho bluff, with evory luxury at his command that devotion and money could devise and procure. Oucr.tswere invited, and among them was Felix Grace. That was the beginning of the end the day Felix Grace crossed Hubert Erie's threshold yet it was a long time before Erie understood it all. But somehow he waa vaguely con scious there was something intangible occurring; and it waa not very long after that vague discovery before ho located it, and learned that bis wife waa not as she had been, before Felix Grace came. men, wheu ho saw toe delicious Jigli in her blue eyes that he had so often pas I- : f. 1 . u .l 1.. H 1 1 I II ft I . I V WIMI11M1 Tfl U.H lllliniwB III II ; hfviril her liirlit liantiv lmitrh u Iia li so oucn wumicrou neuia not uear it, an, then the jealousy, the horror, the de spair, that overwhelmed him! He struggled manfully to conceal what lie sniioreii, but lie was not me samo fii all In'a il.ntwMiitA 'nOm.fa Ia T.illi.m Ho could not, to save his life, caress nor ami et her as he was in tho uaiut 01 doing. Greut heavens! to think she was in love with another man, and that mun the friend who was eating his salt daily! What should ho do? Was Lilliun false to him? or was it only Ins own mail lfii lima llxif Hinrrm'tK).! irtrwmnnt V IUHV IIIHUMiVU aMWVWVStV acts, and looks, und courtesies.' t ntil one cool, starlighted niglit.w hou ho was lounging in a rustio chuir on tho tnmrr veranda, nnd then he heard Felix Gruee's voice on the lower one that rich, caressing voicoof his, that Erin suddenly remembered women lovea t hear. "This cannot hist much longer, Mr l.rie, or 1 snail go man: io uiercnui If von can bloits me. bh-ss me now. Is tlinrA anv limm fnr iiia?" Ureat heaven 1 1 ulix Ui'nce 11 ail tiurod And theu hor voice Lillian s his wife said: "Don't ask mc lust vet. Bo patient just a little longer for I think yo mii-vlinim " l'rln mink line!: in hin uhnir. lvrilvze.l - 1 1 . with supreme uuuish and horror, whilo t hev un ken nunv tliev two crillirv.vilfl and ono of them his wife, tho woman he J . V . . . : r- - . I do not think Erie ever know how loug ho cronchod there, in the crisp night air, with stars shining over him, in trnto nitvini virnl. Itnt HnniA iiinA uf- " I I V " o ' 'O - - -. - ter that blow had fallen so straight to his heart, ho got up and went iu toward tlin rnmn Iia Im.l she oeonninil. to meet a servant on tho stairs, carrying a valine down. "Mr. Grace has just received a tol ecraui sir. and left his recrrotsand udieux with mo for yon sir," This in answer to bile s mtorrogaiory look. "He's gone, then, has ho?" Tim u.lruini!il man manifested no surprise at tho w hite, desperate faco, or hoarso, restrainod voice of his muster. "Just rone. sir. Mrs. Erie ordered the horses out for him." "Yes, that's all right." Anil Krln wnlknil on. hulf-duzodlr. inwnrd th a lovelr room whero ho know he could find her, nnd where he w as re solved to confront her with hor sin. fin vi tlinrA tiint. ah lis had ex- pocted, and in the dim light ho saw her faco was buried in nor nanus, and mat on her dress lay a picture a man's .!ntnia Iia lia.l nn jlnllllt. Allil VnllY Grace's picturo he could swear to with out seeing, and his wno uis wiioi ue sot his teeth toeethor hard crviug be cause her lover had gone, ... . . ...t he did not hear min until 110 was bo near that he stooped and picked up tho photograph, crushing it tlorcoly iu his hand. Then she gave a littlo startlod cry, and, accustomed to the dusky shadows, Iia nnnhl has a vivid flush suriro over her cheeks, and he remembered how he had often wished he might be able to bring just such a conscious color to her face for lnva's sake, and llOl'O. tho very first time it was shame's sake, and his influ ence and her fear, instead of niiection. "I was looking lor you; 1 wanted on," he said, tersely, even now wonder ing how he could say the worua mat would stint ber out or his lite. "Ami I was wishing vou would como,': she answered, in a strangely low, thrilling tono. "I wanted yon, too. 1 had 1 havo something to lei you now." Ah! ho know already, curses on Felix Greco's handsome faoo! And he crushed tho picture in his furious grasp again. "Do von remombor ouco hearing me speuk of mv only sister, whom I had not 4 - " 1 ... .. . nr .11 11 seen sinoo we wero ennarenr noii, and a rapid eagerness came in her voice, "it aneniM so strsiice. but Mr. Grace and sho" Erlo started and shuddorod "have been engaged somo tiino until quite lately, whon some foolish estrange ment orose (it was Addio's fault, I be liovo, from what I can learn) and the poor fellow is heart-broken over it. He has prayod me to intercede for him with her; he has given mo hor address and her picture. Where did you lay it, Bertio ? Only think my own, own little sister, I am so thankful! And I told Mr. Grace I thought I was sure he might hope, after just a littlo." Erie had sat there, listening with al most fainting pulses, his brain reeling with rapturous relief, but such an awful, dying sensation creeping over him that at last, when she had done, she looked eagerly into his pule face, to bo terrified into wild alarm. "Bertie! Hubert! What is the matter? You are ill, and I have thoughtlessly been talking about things that do not interest you. Bertie, what is the matter? Oh, my darling my darling! don't die, just when I am beginning to love you BO I" Tk trim HU-A a sudden elixir to him. in the midst of that awful norvofis prostra tion. "Lillian! Wrhat! Yon love me so well as that? You love me so well as tbut?" ' ' , His voico trembled like a woman s, and Lillian went down on her knees at his feet, her glorious face uplifted, hor eyes endorsing the story her lips uttered. "Oh, I do I do! It has come to mo like a hoavetilv revelation. Oh, ray husband, I thank God for this great joy that He has sent to me! Take me in your arms, Bertio, and say, 'My Wife!' " So, out of the dense storm-clouds came softest sunshine out of awful anguish, the blessing of Hubert Erie's life. A brave boy who kept twonty Indians at bay, died of his wounds at Denver, Col., a few days ago. It never happens that way in a dime novel of Indian war fare. The brave boy in the dime novel would have kept the Indians at bay un til there waa not an Indian left to bay at him, and then he would have rescued and married a beautiful white captive, with long hair kissed by the sunlight, ripe red lips, eyes of diamonds, marble brow, and a good natured father worth $900,000. There ia too mmh reality in the real. J Children's dresses are made in simpler styles than formerly. Kpoop ndjke's Sardlnti. "Look here, my doar," said Mr. Spoo AflilvlrA t. mailt. nvai ftlia laf.nit Aflil 11 bons in his wife's bureau drawor,"what become of the can-openoi I don i ;t ... i ii seo i MU Twuero. "What do vou want of it?" nskod Mrs Spoopondyke, fluttering tip to proteot tier trinkets, and trying to gain a little nine. "1 tA'finf tn. Minn anmA ftnl-.l'tioft 111 ith it " rtniiiii.1 Iy KmumAnil vk A. ftlmn doulnir the drawer and hunting throng! tho work basket. "Think I want to comb mv hair with it? Imatrino I wanted to write a letter with it? Well I dou'l I want some sardines. W hut have you done with it?" "You might take your bisr knife, reo nmniAn.lin Tr Siiinrmjtn.l vlrrt "Tim lurira lihiiln in inst the th in ir for that. ' ) - , c - Mr, Spoopondyke seized tho knife and bored away at ono corner of tuo box whilo his wife looked on with consider ilIiIa .listl-i'MII. "Hadu't vou better nut a paper under tho box? You'll set tho oil all over (he table cloth." sucecsted Mrs. Hpoopeu dyke. 'N'.i. T won't iMtlinr." laid Mr. Sdooiv endvke. us tho knife plunKod through and the oil sputtered. "Servo you right if I did," he continued, plowing away ut tlie tin, while tuo grease now iu an di rections. "It would teach you to put tho cau opener wuoro you count nnu u. What kind of housekeeping do you call tlitu mi vlinu.-V lin vitlliiil Aa Hia tilflilii slipped out und closed up on his fingers. I'M vou nun yoursoii, near.', asaea .Mrs. Knoopouiivko anxiously. "So. I didn't hurt ravself." crinnod Mr. Spoopondyke. "Tho knife struck the bono, or I would havo been doad with agony uu hour ago. Givo mo somo other, he howlod. "Fetch me somo chloroform! S pose I in going to saw at this box anv more without au uniesthctio? (I. A. n iiliin I'm Cfiiiiir to chin off a couple dozen fingers without something to (leanon pain r acres mo laugmug fvnu'J llivii mrt annul lmifrliinr irnfl vliilA I extract those measly old fish, ' aud Mr. Spoopendyko prancod around the room, aud then jabbod the kuifo into tho box again and ripped away as though he was run by steam, 'o nso to hideaway from mo!" he yelled, hacking away ut tliA box with all his lnicht. "I know you'r in there, and there can't be uny i - , - l ... : l. . J..... wuuiuo uiai cvur wnn uum umnuj iiuui me. Come out I toll ye!" and he siozed a fish bv the tail and slum him across the room. - "Won't vou spoil em. dear? asked Mrs. Spoopondyke. "They won't be very good if ycu opeu era that way. "Oh, won't they ?" howlod Mr. Spoop. ondyko. "If son dou t like em tnat iirnv mIioIM mi nuV Inr thnm for? Mav. bo you want m to take 'em out in a baby w. f.1 .... ll. T carriage, rraps youve got an wea x ought to climb undor 'em and lift 'em out. Mavbe vou want me to set into that box with a boat and tako 'em out with a soino. Well, I won t. I toll ye. Give me the tonus; I want that fish nt tho bottom. Where's the tongs? Gone to cut married to the can-owner, haven't they?" and Mr. Spoopondyke grabbed another fish and fired him into tho grate. "Bo patient, my dear," said Mrs. Spoopondyke, soothingly. "Mako the opening a littlo widor und they'll conio out." "Ain't I pationt ?" shouted Mr. Spoop endyko. "P'raps you want-mo to sing to 'em. 'I wish I was an ancel. and with tho' dod gast the fish! Come out of that!" and with a wrnnou JUr. poopcn dyke hauled off tho top aud disclosed tho mangled romains of his enemies. Now oiva mo a loraon." nnd ho eyed the repast with anything but content ment. "Stir around and Rot mo a lemon, quick, now." "Upon my word, my near, i uon i oo- lieve there s a lemon iu the houso.' stammered Mrs. Spoopondyke; "I had one." "Oh. vou had ono! proclaimed Mr. Kiinniwinilvkn. "onlv vou'ro iust out. If you'd been brought up right you'd only need an awning and a iatuny ou iue wp flnnr tn lin A crocflrv shoo! S'OOSO I'm J L . f going to eat these sardines ruw? Think I'm going to swallow tuoso lisu anvo t Gimme something to put on 'era, will yo ?" V . . . -1 . All What would you into, my near; queried Mrs. Spoopondyke "Ink, dod gast it? Fetch mo somo measly ink! Got any nails? Can't yo find some laudanum somewhere?' and Mr. Spoopeudyke proiootod lnmsolf into 10 closet and pranoeu out wun a uouie f arnica. "There," lie howlod, as he daHhod the contents over the sardines, there's vour fish all ready for you. and the next time vou want me to open the things you have a lemon, will ve? Find can openci, won t ye.' , anil Mr. opoop ndvko flopped into his easy chnir aud picked np tho papor. "Uon t you want some oi uie iisur asked Mrs. Spoopondyke, after a long pause. "No. I don't!" crowled Mr. Spoopon dyke. . . . . 1 1 if .. "Hut this is a iresii oox, sain airs. Spoopendyke, displaying the sardines in neat layers. 'How did you go; it open: uomanueu Mr. HpoovendyRe. With the can-opeuor," replied his wifo. 'I found it in yonr tool box, where you put it to sharpen it.' "Mavbe I nut the lemon in there to sharpen that too," grunted Mr.Spoopen- dy ke, pegging away at tno uox ana ioou.- lug f up with his moutu mil, oui recog :inK tho taste of vinegar ho madu some niz remarks altout'somo peojdo only needing a andle and a cork to be a lormuaius ' nrwl having finished tho lot he de- manded why ins who noun t aaseu ior - . . :? .. . ... 'cm if she wanted some, aud went to bed ith some iueoheront observations on tlm aliHiinlitv of folks sittinz around liko martyrs with fish within reach. Brook lyn Eagk A lawyer enjoys badgering a witness, but it is not so agreeublo when tho wit ness gives his answer in kind. Hunting bears is good sport, but when the bear hunts tho hunter, it looks like carryiug the joke too far. An old witness was asked, in an insulting tone, by an attor ney, if his memory was good, "l'es," was the reply; "on somo points it is ex tremely accurate, but on others I must confess that it is defective." "Won't yon give the Court an illustration?" said the lawyer. "Well," drawled the aged witness, "I clearly remember that ton years ago you came to me and borrowed $100, but, for the life of me, I can't re member that yon ever paid me." X Berlooi mistake Uon. Nelson A. Miles, who was seen by a reporter of tho New York Tribune recently at the Broovort house, was askcJ about the condition of tho Pone and other Indians. He said: "I was appointed as ono of the com missioners to investigate the condition of the Poncos. I found part of theru living very oomfortably in the Indian Territory on thoir grant of 6oJ,tH)U about the same as thoso Indians reoeiving aid from Hin riivnrninmit. Tliomt who bad rs- muinod in Dakota, or gono back to it. 1 fonnd, were earning tnoir own living Dy cutting wood, farming and working in viiriona wivM. Tlinv were receiving no "j j p support from tho government only a little aid from bonevolout people in the vicin ity." 'Wero those on the Indian reserva tion anxious to return to Dakota?" "Tlu. did not ho axnress themselves. They hud boon repeatedly told that they could not return, ami mi'y conmuereu M..ii titln tinll in.1 vnitt 11 ! "Did thev soom to feel embittered against the government?" "A portion oi mom see men 10 oe. it appeared to me that the treatment of the Poucaa was a mistake, resulting from in competency and sol tUh motives. They wore wronged. The removal of any por tion nt nnr lieaeenhln iHitmlation to a distant part of tho country and holding them there are contrary 10 justice ana our system of government, and are inexcus able I kuow of uo good or substantial reason for their removul, uor have I over heard of any. "Will tlin irovernment policy toward tho Poncas affect the other tribes?" "I think it will be very injurious, especially with tho friendly tribes, as it has created the idea iu their minds that tho fcovoruniout disregards its treaty obligations, and that it is disposed to move tho tribes ou to the Indian reserva tion. The northorn Indians look noon the reservation as a sort of Botany Bay or Siberia, and think that tho govern mnnt will niek 11 ti a tribe whenever it can put them there and let them die off." wiry moon?" "liecaiisa tho Indian Torritorv has a grout deal of malaria ut times,- and if a muu lives there long enougn lie is snro to bo attacked. " I have had command of nun ami luirxpa in that section for a good many years, and know something about it. "If that is tho case, why doos tho gov ernment continuo to put Indians on the reservation?" ' " I ouu see no good reason for it. Liot the government protect them whoro thoy are. Tnoy are mr.en. more aiiaoueu w tho country whore thoy are born than we are. In my judgement it would ue uee tnr in rriv thnm a small allotmont of land where they live thau to move them into one territory, bocause ei tuts pecu liarity iu their nature, ana Docnuse more s no'iuBtioe In removing them any more than there would be in putting the nocrroes or Chinese into one atate ana keeping them there. Thoro is no longer nv frnntinr aost of the Rockvmonntuins. Settlements havo sprung up beyond the Indian reservaion, und are surrounding thorn on every side; so that the Indians must become a part of our population, n.n laur.nlii.liiirr to be urotoctod br the same authority, and tho ovil-disposod to bo govorned by me same laws "u govern white people. .1 tuuiU. thnk soou as tne peopio uuuurouuu mo Indian quostion, popular opinion will be so strong that the putting of a portion of our population under the control of one. inoTnAi-inncml man. and surrounding thorn with a Chinese wall, as it were, so that tuey cannot commum cate with tho outside world, will be an impossibility. Then the wuiuns win t.n tpUiid iimtlv. Wheu they are they will givo tho govorumont vory littlo trou- .T ii ' uio. , . "How does the army look upon the Indian question?" "Under the prosont system the army bnrrassod from the fact. that it is required to stand aloof nnu have . . . 'll. 1.1.- nothing whatever to uo wiiu um uiiibo mont of the Indian until they break out, although tho ollioers are nndoubt odly bettor informed about the matter thau any othor officials of tho country. im.o.. knnur tlm rlmrfinter of the Indians: their way, mode of reasoning, and by long years ol sorvioo on tuo piaini mejr . become acquainted -with the different mon of the tribes, and know who can be trusted and who are treachorous. Yet whon at outbronk occurs, or an Indian nfr.int lina anmnthinff to accomplish, the army is called upon to do the disagree able work, to enduro ail iue narniin ui a catnpaigu, to ongage in iue most uu irerous enterprises, and then ha to bear ull the odium of any transaction that may not bo founded bn law or prompted If the irovornment would but try the exponment of lotting tho War Loparimeni wunugo . Li llians, I think much good would result. Let it turn over somo of the .wildest, most warlike and most troublenomo Indiuns to tho care ol the army, and seo whothor or not an im provement would not bo niado. A good illustration of what might bo dona is seen in tho great success of Capt. Piatt. After the war of 1874 we picked out snvontyllve of the greatest robbers.mur derers und cut-throats aud he took them down to Florida. They were tho worst men in the Caey.iune, KiowA and Co manche tribes. The change in those In diuns have been marvelous, and out oi u.ii'tiv imvM crown tho Indian in stitutions ut Hampton, Vu., and Carlisle, Peun., which might nave oeen vrj suc cessful. This proves that whon in ohargo of army ofllcors the Indians have made more progresa than they havo under oth er control at any time during the history of the couutry. let tne poacouoie inum remain where they are, una ue nnuor the control of tho civil authorities in tno States whoro they live. Thero will bo more or loss trouble, until tho Govern ment, the State, Territoriul and county authorities, and the white settlers re spect the rights of the Indian the samo us those of the white man. As to anv se rious disturbance, there is less likeli hood of that now than there has boon for years, bocause those Indians living cast of the liocky mountains are undor eon trol. ' "Yes," said Miehaelungelo Brown, his eyes beaming with loving pride upon hia litest creation. "The Pensive Pootess, "Yes, I draw all my figures from life. "Do you, my boy?" bluarted out Jones; "but who the deuce is it that draws tha life from your figures, you know ?"