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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 30, 1880)
1 O.M.T A TkAJtf. Tram Um Portland Tetram. A trowd ked mthmi. I puked r w7, And aaked, aut m lb aurwr I ko at unm I lock! uun, Aad (uaiid e dead as an, la tellers. Hose earned willing to toneh th,e dead. Bo racged, to font, ud old, Onlj a tramp," Um aeigbbon Mid, "Who died ta ik iintl, ta tbe told." Ho 00 lo menra him, or abed t ttar, Ko bud la pitj meed, Kot on to follow Ui lastly Urr Tk Trtup, to ble pauper (ret. Hot one did I Hjr! ah, tm, I for?, Tkere h Mi, who in trne lo toe Iwt, And b tMtud alone, eo eobrr eod alow, Oa to crowd, sot a look did a caH. ta the tons, and the rmlo toertbrt ihtj tfi; They had the eeiue fool UiU wee t1 Tk eyoand wea their bd foe menjr a Bltlit, Their covtrld, the canopj of Uteres. Ttber th7 wandered, totbr tHef 11 Ted, rnmu feitbfaJ, and trot to the laet, Ilridinf lur r, and eberlnf tbur ilia, frlenda, la Ikelr feast, and their fart. The iff and bit mnetrr eared little for frienda; TbrooKb lire tnrjr IU ynrarjua VHMher; A wouieo! bad broken the heert of tbe man, When life, wee all nuublorr w tetter. IIli lor for a woman, an ont.Mt bad made hlin. And a wendtrtr, far from kit kotne. Lying, aad dd, In tbe rold,eold rtreet, A Tramp; with kla dof ell alone. i iown liter ana work among all sorts, and never Lav any muaie evening, or ur borne, or Dik paused; Lis seeling vara too much for him. and ret he would not let Jala Storm ee a Ur in Lii tret. "It a cliAaca to nuke yourself some thing better than dradge, dune to see tad know what U going on in the great world. Raiding is good, Dike bat eeintr is million time better, Jacob road early and Jate, lie thought denly, "it will not do to mis .oca si uueeTene ue j KG. . ... .. .. I w 1.l.tA AlmAmA fcftW lvStll tCftild. i .ii' v . aa v . . x i. . a sain iuid uisuvi .ine w inner reoeiuou. u u, uear, u. -y- , ,nntion, MCTWted. by ewinii I wart I I 0A Ilf W Tim mm tt aft r.W ini fi.il I BU A '' - and mr chUdliooJ-. friend, bnt Terieet AccidenU. poor old Jake will never know anrtlang ol it. TLe IaII wu crowded, and on tbe plat form tat the colleen 1'retident. wiUi sev eral dintingnialied gentlemen. Tbe tpeaier't face wu parti LidJen bj tbe (leak before him. Wben be roae, at U-t, and itudied; tnt After all, Le knew tbAt bAllie'i heart gare a quick bonnd; for 15 AEDE2CT LOT EE. Bt KATE TBCZ. the discipline which Tom and Joe Rivers were baring would he a great biesmng to him. Ilia one dread was that Bailie might considor bim inferior to her. "tihe shall not get before me if I die trj' lwr. be said. bailie s room was not so bad alter all; Mrs. Mora bad done her best to pl her old friend Mrs. Rivers. Wben Bailie's books were unpacked, and her piADO was in one comer, and her pet bird Glorv hnnir od. the nlaoe was qnite ..... r " " " deliehtfnl. A room-mate was lmpoMibie, u sae desired to sjiend all her sj-are moments in preparation for her future work. About this time she wrote to Tom : "It is a bard grind, dear old boy; and some times, when mr head whirls about with tbe nowe, or the associations rex me, 1 feel like ranningawsy to China or Japan; but I don t, I only go home wben I am free, and take a good dose of Chopin or Beethoven; they tone me np. lit care ful management, I shall be able to save some money, ihere is a litue rrencu girl here, who ss anxious to study Eng- there before her stood her neighbor, friend snd lover. lie did not seem to see her; his sab iect enirroaaed his entire attention. Sal- lie listened with pleasure. The phvaical training of the put added strength to his mental acquirements, and bis clear, manly voice charmed all who listened to him. "Isn't he fine looking?" whiipered one. "WhAt a uplenkid type of man hood 1" said another. "lie understands him so If perfectly, as well aa Lis subject," said a third. When tbe speaker closed, the applause was emphatic and prolonged. Bailie sat motionless. btiri'ri.ie and plea' in eMiAmiat. while seeking tJ dis cover mixture of earths that would make tbe most durable crucibles, one day found that he had actually made eirtAljtifi. The power of lenses, as applied to the ioWnn. was discovered by a watch maker's apprentice. While holding spectacle-glasses between his thumb and he was startled at the suddenly enlarged apperance of A neighboring chnrch-spire. The art of etching upon glass was dis rnveredbra Nuremburg glass cutter, By accident, a few drois of squa fortis Ml uton his spectscles. He noticed that the glass corroded and softened when the acid had touched it. That was hint enough. He drew figures upon glass with varnish, applied the corroding fiuid, then cut away the glass around the drawinar. When the varnish was re moved, the figures sppeared raised upon a dark groend. Mezzotinto oweJ its invention to tue and answered the congratulations of his friends in an absent manner, 'Tar Jon me," he said to the president; "I recognize an old schoolmate yon dor, His name was Jacob, It bad been his some money. There is a little French I "Ah, indeed: that is Miss Kivers, a father's before him, and his father's girl here, who ss anxious to study Eng- young lady of remarkable energy ana fatner's. The Storms were a hard-work- Ji every week I give her a lesson for a unbounded prseverance; she stands at I Iaauim I aakk. lr ei tt I aa1 l n t with huv I that lisOil AT It AT aMeUtBi. a ... T 1 C A I A I OI)VIV asAAU 1 tie A e A VAIV AA AAAJi AA A f I m-wv. vb ing, money-getting race. Jacob btorm, tLen tWQ of Mor4., cUijren Ute "rm to glad, so very glad," was all the father of our hero, constantly said lessons on the piano, and my board bill Salhe could say f lnj SBAAV4 .'S.a" I.. . - t . . i g mingled with a thousand memories. Pro- sirpie acciaeai 01 w " fewr Storm did not heed it. He was sentry becoming rusted with dew. lookinir at a brkbt face iust before him. . The swaying to and fro of a chandelier . " . "... . i : that "he conldn't.see why under the shining sun a man needed an education; 't any rate, more'n 'nough to reckon his crops and cattle. Jacob, tbe younger, Lad once expressed a desire to attend school out of town; but b to ran, senior, killed Lis ambition in that respect with a few words. I ho inhabitants 01 1'utntyvuio were not all conservatives of the Storm order Hons of rich farmers were in college, (laughters of hard-working fathers and mothers were away at school, and Pnt neyville felt their influence when they came home for a vacation. One of the gayest, brightest, prettest girls in town art 1 1 r ,t . was name i.ivers. xior lamer naa a poorer farm and fewer bonds than his neighbor Jacob Storm, but the Rivers family worshipped another idol. From me moiuer uown everv one valued a good education. The futher had been denied it, as he was the eldont of a large family, and compelled to aid in support ing the rest. He was a man of excellent natural ability, and extravagantly fond 01 reading. The boys of tho family were complied to work their way through college, and baliio, the jovial, was determined to fol low thoir exam tile. No wonder Jacob Btorm, junior, loved bailie. Jlo bad lived near her for rears, had carried her dinner pail back and forth for her, had puroftcly misspelled words to let her pass above him, and in all her maddext pranks, be had rejoiced whilo others blamed. When one of tho neighbors gave a party, tho verbal invi tation way generally, "baliio, and the rent of the boys. Bailie liked it; she was full of bound ing fun; she hated silly airs; and as her brothers were, with one exception, older than b-mu, it was quite pro)cr that she should do as they did. Jacob Btorm LAd once called her "Will-o'-the-wisp," and the name fitted her so well that the boys took it np. The wildest colt on the farm would obey Bailie; she fesrednoth ing. went and came as she plcaml. and did more work in one morning than her mother ana J in Mali, the maid, could pos ibly do together. Naturally, this warm-hearted, activo, Cheerful girl, was the light of her lata er's eyes. He could not send hor away from him, like the bovs, not even for the coveted education. For three years in Ler teens ho bore tho restraint as meek ly as possible; but the fourth year could sot )) borne. How much the gill hud suffered in secret, no one knew. "Father," hho said ono day, as sho sprang from her soddlo, "my mind is mudo up. I shall go into the mill and cam money enough to attend school um tnoincr can t spare you, my daughter. "Mother is willing," said Snllio; "she always wanted to study, herself." "Well, wo seem to need you Lore, somehow, mud tho old gentleman, strok ing tlio colt's nock to Lido his feelings. "Yen. futher. and vou shall huvo me. I can work hard, and come home to Hpend every vacation; and won't you bo glud to seo mo r Mr. Rivers led tho' colt away, and did not answer. "Why not ?" ho said to himself; "why shouldn't she have a fair chance? I suppose I might soil off tho meadow to old btorm, and send my only girl away in good slmpe; but it will spoil the farm, and 1 hate to. Ho could not think of tho house- with out Ler; he dreaded tho long winter evenings, and the warm summer days, without his darling; and at lost he Bat down in ono corner of the barn on an old grindHtone, which Bailie had often turned for him. He sat there a long time, trying to overcome his selfishness; and at luHt, as ho heard tho girl's riuging voice calling him to supper, ho rose up, saying, "She's my only girl; and Bhe shall have a chance, oome what will." The boys woro delighted. They wero proud of Hullio, and quito sure she would do hemlf and tho family credit. To be sure, Tom's pride was hurt when he heard sho was to work in the mill at Olenmoro; but the new house w hich Tom had urged Lis father to build had cost more than they expected, ami every year somo now machinery must be purchased. It was twenty miles to Glonmere twenty miles from Lome love, care and comfort; but Bailie did not falter. To be sure, it was A trial to leave thorn all, a hard thing to select from her littlo store of girl's bo longings; and a small room in a loard-ing-house would never afford tho delight that her own large, sunny chamber did. Bailie felt a thousand tears, but did not shod one, although Ler mother and Hul dah wept profusely as the carriage drove away, with Bailie s father on the back eat with her. and Jaoob Storm in front with Bailie's brother Dike. "I wish I Lad Ler chance," said Jacob, as the father and daughter talked in low tones on the back seat. "Great chance," aid Dike, "to go is light. Who do you think comes here every Sunday? Why, Jacob Storm. His father will not let him go to college, and he walks down here after work is done Saturday, and returns Sunday night. He is a great friend of John Moras, and I have to bo teased about him, but I don't mind that. Jake seems like one of you and every week he questions me about my lessons. 'Sometimes he brings a few flowers, or some chick weed for Glory, sometimes a pioce of new cheese in a dainty box, and generally a now or message from mother or Dike. When he drives down, Dike comes with him; and I can work harder all the week after seeing his rosy face. Jake gets books from the library hero, and leaves them for mo to read first; then we talk them over afterward, and Iike is getting quite interested Jirave little nalliel Ihe days and weeks flew by, and found her at her post, She only saw the hard daily toil, only felt the bonds w hich kept her close until she could join the girls who quietly and easily walked the paths of knowledge She did not know that her example gave Joe new courage, and kept lorn from many a "college lark:" she never dreamed that Jacob Btorm was making a man of himself for her sake: she could not see the power she exercised over Dike, who was inclined to be a little wayward; she never guessed that her devotion to self-culture and study bad stimulated some of her associates to go and do like wise. Her brief vacations were seasons of joy. Jacob Storm wished they might last forever. He, too, was hard at work; and one day, wben he and Bailie had diseussed tl merits of various authors, and compared nites concerning their studies, Sallio's outburst of prtise for his achievements drew from him an avowal of his love. "Why, Jacob," said she rogretfully. "I never thought of you in that way. I should as soon fancy Tom marrying mo. "You think I am clumsy and slow." ho said, "or perhaps stupid and ignor ant, because I remain here when others go away; thoy have educated thoinsclvos, with fato and fortune to aid them. I havo dono it thus fur oguinst fate, and without fortune. I shall somo day uiuko the world hear of me; how, when, or whero, I do not know, but it w ill couio." I beliove you, Jacob, said Snllio. and I am proud of you; but love is something I know nothing of, and until I have finished my course as a student, I must put pleasure of all kinds out of my head. Dont sulk, Jacob; I am not heartless, only ignorant. Come, saddle Tarn U'Shantur, and let us have ono of our mail rides to Sparkling Spring; it will be something to remember when I am grinding at the mill again. Jacob oboyed her. Iler witdies had been his law for years, aud ho was maul v enough to be proud of it. At last the goal was won. balho was in college, devoting herself to her cher ished books, and Jacob still workod as ho had done beforo, now blaming himuolf lor his folly m regarding his father s wishes, now working at his books with the desperate energy of one who has stukod all on success. Every Sunday he visited Glonmere with Dike, but no longer spout his time 'Are you? Then help from all these eyes, snd let me give you tbe latest tidings from home. Miss Rivers was envied by her friends as she passed out, stopping now and then to introduce the popular scientist as an old schoolmate. Of what they talked, and Low, it mat ters not to us; we only know that a cer tain professor was absent from his post in order to attend the exercises at a cer tain college, where Miss Hirers gradu ated, and we also know that a wedding took place soon after, and the bride's toilett did not cost her weary days and nights: for. like a wise woman she pur chased it in New York, and enjoyed the last precious days with Ler friends, When the bridal party went West, Dike joined them, and is now fitting himself for bis future work in lite Mrs. Storm, nee Sallie Rivers, is also a professor in the same Institution with her husband; and her excellent parent stend a portion of each season with her. When any of the family joke Professor Storm about his lovelike attentions to his wife, ho always answers, "I owe all my prosperity to the fact that I have been her life-long, ardent lover." A Stranger's Mistakes. A few days ago a Western merchant who wanted to do some sight-seeing and buy his fall stock at the same time, en tared a dry goods jobbing bouse on Broad ay, and accosted the first person he met with, "Are you the proprietor here?" "Not exactly the proprietor," was the rcplr. "At present 1 am acting as shipping clerk, but I am cutting my cards for a partnership next year by or ganizing noon prayer meetings in uic basement," ihe stranger passed on to a very lm portant-looking personage with a dia mond pin, and asked : 'Aroyou the head of tbe house? "Well, no; I can't soy as I am at pres ent, but I have hopes of a partnership in January. I'm only ono of the travelers just now, bnt I'm luying for a ?J00 pew in au np-town church, and that will mean a quarter interest here in less than six months." Tho next man Lad his feet np, his hat Lack and a 20-cent cigar in Lis mout h and he looked so solid that the stranger snd : 'You must run this establishment." "Me ?" Well. I may run it very soon. At present I'm tho bookaocper, but I'm oxpocting to get into a church choir with the old muu's darling and become nn equal partner hero." Ihe struuger was determined not to make another mistake. He walked around until ho found a man with his coat off and busy with a case of goods, and ho suid to him : "Tho porters are kept pretty busy in hore, l see. "Yes," was the brief reply. Rut I suppose you aro planning to invont a Gosjud hymn book and sing the old man out of au eighth interest, aren't you.' "Well, no, not exactly, was the quiet reply, "i ui the old man himself. And all that the stranger said, alter a long miuuto spent in looking the mcr chant over, was : "Well, durn my but tons, Wall Street News. in a cathedral suggested to Galileo the application of the pendulum. .... ... Ihe art ol lithograpning was penccied through suggestions made by accident. A poor musician was curious to know whether music could not be etched upon stone as well as upon copper. After Le had prepared Lis slab, Lis mother asked him to make a memoran dum of such clothes as she proposed to send awov to be washed. Not having me to escape I11. paper convenient, he wrote I ll . 1 A At AaKa C I. aAaI.Jhm wiui Dauio. ai last a chango came: Jacob Storm, Sr., was gathered to his fathers, and his son was froo. Dike wrote to his sister in boyish fash ion : Old Btorm has gone, and Jako mourns for him as if ho hod been loving and tender, instead of a stiff old miser. Jako will loave hore soon; ho does not say where he is going. "I Bhall miss bim terribly. We have road and studied together all winter. Jako knows a heap. He surprises me all the time. Ho is having your picture painted for me, from the one you sent homo. I wish I could go with him; but, as you say, it "would never do to leave father and mother alone. I am reading tho books you ordered, but I cau't pin myself down to hard Btndy after working all day." Bailie's last year of collego lifo was drawing near its close, and tho students were arranging for thoir separation, when an invitation was sent them to attend a lecture by an eminent gentleman who nad been recently appointed to a profes sorship in a Western university. uoing, miss luversT asked a senior, A Link op Ciusuk of Date. In pass ing around the earth a day is lost or gainod, as tho course may bo west or east. Thus, if one goos wrest, with the tun, when be has gono completely around the earth he has orertakon the sun, so to speak, but in reality he has nouiromod the motion of the earth m its revolution from west to east as much as is equivalent to a wnoie day or one revolution, and it is the same in effect as though the earth had been motionless for one wholo day and tho sun Lad not ap peared to move. In this way the traveler would arrive at his starting- place a day sooner than would appear to be right by his reckouing. And the contrary would happen if he went east, for he would Lave oue more sunrise and one more sunset than if he had staid at home. This will be apparent if ono can imagine himself going east as fast as tho earth revolves. He will clouilv moke two revolutions in spaco, and would pass wie sun twico in twenty-lour Hours. In going west tbe sun would appear station ary, uecause tue man nioviuir as lost as the list on the stone with the etching preparation, intending to make a copy of T. . : i . : 11 ai leisure. A few davs later, when about to clean the stone, he wondered what effect aqua fortis would have upon it. He applied the acid, and in a few minutes saw the writing standing out in relief. The next step necessary was simply to ink the stone and take off an impression. The composition of which printing-rol lers are made, was discovered by a Sal opian printer. Not being able to find the Ielt-ball, he inked the type with a piece of soft glue which hod fallen out of the glue-pot. It was such an excellent sub stitnte that, after mixing molasses with the glue, to give the mass proper consist encv, the old pelt-ball was entirely dis carded The shop of a London tobacconist, by the name of i.nndyfoot, was destroyed by fire. While gazing dolefully into the smouldering rnins, he noticed that his poorer neighbors were gathering tue snuff from the cannisters. He tested the snuff for himself, and discovered that the fire had largely increased its pungency and aroma. He secured another shop, built a lot of ovens, subjected the snun to a beating process, gave tho brand a particular name, and in a few years became rich through an accident which he at first thought hod completely ruined him. Ihe process of whitening sugar was discovered in a curious way. A hen that hod went through a clay pud&e went with ber muddy feet into a sugar-house. It was noticed that wherever her tracks were the injar was whitened. Experi ments were instituted, and tbe result was that wet clay came to be used in refining sugar. . The origin of the blue-tinted paper came about by a mere slip of the hand. Ihe wife of llliam Last, an English paper-maker, accidentally let a blno-bag fall into one of the vats of pulp. The workmen were astonished when they saw the peculiar color of tho paper, while Mr. East was highly incensed over what he considered a grave pecuniary loss. His wife was so much frightened that she would not confess her agency in the matter. After storincr tho damacred paper for four years. Mr. East sent it to his agent at London, with instructions to sell it for what it would bring. The paper was ac cepted as a "purposed novelty," and was disposed of at quito an advance over mar- net price. Mr. East was astonished at receiving an order from his agent for another largo invoice of the paper. He was without the secret, and found himself in a dilemma. Upon mentionining it to Lis wife, she told him about the accident. Ho kept the secret, and the demand for the novel tint exceeded his ability to supply it A Brighton stationer took a fancy for dressing his show-window with piles of writing paper, rising gradually from the largest to the smallest size in use; and, to finish his pyramid oil' nicely, he cut cards to bring them to a point. Taking these cards for diminutive note-paper, lady customers were contin ually wanting some of "that lovely little paper, and the stationer found it ad vantagcous to cut paper to the desired pattern. As there was no spaco for addressing the notolets after they were folded, he aftor much thought, invented the enve lope, which ho cut by the aid of metal plates made for tho purpose. Ihe sale increased so rapidly that he was unable to produce the envelopes fast enough, so he commissioned a dozen Louses to muke them for him, and thus sot going an important branch of the manufacturing stationery trade, Tilth rutol U HI Pocket. If there is one pursuit which above al other is so peaceful in its nature as not to call for the services of armed men, it is the climbing of a tree for tbe purpose of gathering chostnuts. Hardly any two things can be more thoroughly incom patible than nuts and pistols. The clnb which is a weapon altogether different in its character and its aims from tbe pistol has a sort of relation to the business of gathering chestnuts. But the clnb used not so much by the boy who climbs the chestnut tree as by tbe one who stands on the ground and awaits tbe fall of the nuts. To fling a club up among the branches of a chestnnt tree sometimes Las the effect of bring' ing chestnuts down. More often the effect is not felt on the chest nuts, but rather on the Lead of the boy who sends the clnb up. When in its descent it stuns him by a blow on the skull or sets the blood flowing from his cruelly bumped nose, the boy mutters a quotation from that old proverb which is to the effect that whatever goes up is sure to come down. The club is as clumsy a weapon as it is antiquated. Club can not be carried in hip-pockets with any great degree of convenience. According to the pictures in the bunday school books, Cain slew Abel with a club. But the pictures do not represent Cain as drawing the weapon from bis hip-pocket, Even New York policemen do not carry clubs in their hip-pockets, but hold them in their hands ready for instant service. The hip-pocket is a fashionable neces sity, and no clothier is up to the de mands of the age who makes trousers without it. All classes and conditions of masculine society must wear this pocket The octogenarian grandfather, the peace ful clergyman, the scholarly professor, the boisterous politician, the growing youth and the little boy in bis first trou sers, must alike have a hip-pocket. Whilo there are many purposes for which a pscket of this kind is exceed ingly convenient, there is no denying the fuct that it was originally invented by some, war-like person as a handy place for carrying a pistol. Although there are many wearers of this kind of pocket who carry no pistols, yet there are many, especially young men, who think the pistol quite as much of a necessity as the pocket. Therefore, they seldom go unarmed. The pistol is at much at home in their hip-pocket as eye-glasses are on the noses 01 near-sigbted men, or bangs on the foreheads of pretty girls. The young men who thus stuff pistols into their pockets are not bloodthirsty fellows. They have no desire to murder anybody. Most of them are poor shots in pistol practice and could not with the most approved form of modern weapon hit a cat across the street. They have no definite idea that ruffians will attack them with a view to taking their lives, nor have they positively come to the conclusion as to w hat they would do in the event of any such attack being made. They think they would bravoly stand their ground and discharge from four to six balls into the vitals of the intruding ruman. Ihe probability is that they would run away. A day or two ago the youthful son of a New York capitalist inflicted on himself a needless and dangerous wo and. He hod gone up a tree to gather chestnuts. He fell, and in his fall discharged the pistol which happened to be in his hip pocket and which he had taken up the tree with him. At first it was reported that he was dead, aud for some time it seemed probable that ho would die. Hod he died his life would have been sacri ficed to a foolish and unnecessary prac tice. If he lives he will carry with him the indelible mark of his folly. Had there been a bear up the chestnut tree or squad of hostile Indians concealed among the branches the pistol might have been a necessary instrument of self defense instead of being one of self-tor ture. Tbere are thousands of lads all over the country who carry pistols just as this unwiso youth did. They go armed to school, to the store, to see their girls, to walk on the streets and to en gage in the various duties and pleasures of life. When they have nothing else to do they pull out the pistol to sec if KHOKT BITS. The great American desert rie. Silence is a Lard opinion to beat ity0rCC1 P01111180 to necev brella.TCr7 J t0 W"C0Ter aa U tig. reSLUd.'800'1 .bAr.t0ne8b,7gOJmaaU Good breeding is a letter of credit all over the world. w No man Is envious of what he e.. equal, or even imitate. There is arrest for the wicked, ai .!! at rest for the saint. 611 Lies go by telegraph.; the truth eotnes in by mail three hours late. In 300 years five Sundays in Febroirv can only occur nine times. ' Motherly wisdom-Stick to your La. Dels until they stick to you. How long does a widower mourn for Lis wife? For a second. Tramps are gorge-us when thev lit down to a well-filled table. 1 The man who lives for others mud expect most of his pay in self-s&tufae. tion. How many young men there are who like corn, turn white when they pop. ' Pride in a woman destroys all svmm. try and shape of a man's pocket-book, If yon would be wealthy get upon i mule. You will soon find that yon art better off. In matters of prudence last thoughts are best; in morality, your first thonet,t. are best. A Swelu Smash Up. The team at tached to the family carriage of a rich Galveston family ran away a few days ago. The lady and her daughter were in the carriage, and the street was full of vehicles. She asked the coach mail if he could stop the team. He said he could not, but lie thought Le could steer it. "Then," said she, leaning back with great composure, "run us into some fashionable turnout. I want to be thrown into good company." Fortunately the team was halted just as it was about to demolish a swill cart. Galveston Aews. Just as the visiters ia the country and at the seaside get fairly used to washing as she peeped in at the half-opon door of the earth, would neutral izo the motion. I their faces in a tin basin of water and Bailie's room. I In one caso a day would be trained, and wiping them on a very familiar towel, it "No, I think not. I shall employ the in the other it would be lost. To e anal-1 i time to pack up and go home where time in writing Lome." ize this difference, sailors add or drop the comforts of life are abundant. The Do go. They tell me Professor from tho almanac one dar in assinr the season isn t quite long enough to permit btorm is quite remarkable, and Darwin, middle of the Paciflo Ocean. of having a real good time, ism baa its attractions for all of us. 'Professor Storm was closeted with the Prex to-day," said another senior, and I understand the light of bis coun tenance will illuminate the college to morrow. "I think I will go," said Sallie, iud- Tbe Princess of -Wales, when at San- drlgham, has little tea parties for which she herself makes the butter in a silver churn and spreads It on slices of bread wnien sue cuts with ber own hands. While she Is at ber work she wear a cblnti drest an i a little white apron. If spiritualistio seers happen to dis cover the ghost of a tramp jour, printer who recently set up "abdominal sound for abominable sounds, they will confer a Lie enduring favor by reporting such appearance to this office. Rome Sen tinel. it needs cleaning or to be sure that the trigger works properly. Then they point the weapon at their little brother or sister, purely as a bit of the most hilarious fun. When the inevitable bullet crashes through brother or sister, and a bleeding little corpse lies on tho floor, there are tears and remorse and exclamations of "didn't know it was loaded," and all that. The carrying of a concealed pistol is by law an offense against the pnblio peace. It is a great pity that the law is almost a dead letter. Especially about election times it is bad to carry pistols. The angry passions may rise and shots may be fired with disastrous effect. Thero is not one cose in ten thousand where man who carries a pistol has reasonable need to use it. As for the boys, thoy have no more need to carry pistols about them than to arm themselves with Gat ling guns. The hip-pocket is a handy appendage to the raiment; but it serves quite as well for the stowage of the peaceful handkerchief as for an armory, Better sew it up than carry a murderous weauon in it A fop. who was sauntering about a country village, saw a.pretty face at tho window of a house near which a little boy was at play. "Bub," says he, "who is that fair lady looking out?" "Sis," was the laconic reply. "Will you not tell me if she is a maid or a matron?" asked the exquisite. "Neither; she's a tail oress," answered the lad, resuming his play. A dentist never uses profane language nor gets arrested for assault and battery. When he feels particularly ugly he just holds on till he has a customer, and when he once gets his foreceps on that customer s molar, his fiendish wrath is let on at full head. Oh, think of the amount of venom a man could work off under such circumstances. It is said that Queen Olga, of Greece, is in love with Copenhagen." The Queen should come to this country, and attend a Sunday school picnic She ould get enongh "Copenhagen" in three hours to last her a week. The boys would not slight her just because she is Queen. In this country a Queen is considered a good a the daughter of champion pedestrian. i Gardeners nine times out of time mar. ry widows. They seem to have a nauics for eradicating weeds. "None of your jaw." is what the hath. er said when the shark tried to scrape u acquaintance with him. The conservatism, of most peoDle ii nothing more than radicalism cone ta seed. The man who can distinguish be. tween good advice and poor does Dot need either. The man who is ready to take the chances will very probably take his last one in the almshouse. A man of true genius is generally as simple as a child, and as unconscious of his power as an infant. Bigotry knows of but one way t reach heaven, while faith knowns of a hundred. It is well to give heed to your doubts for they are very often the dawnings of truth. It is much more difficult for a man to make a circumstance than it is for a cir cumstance to make a man. It requires wisdom to be able, and it reqnires an honesty to be willing, to call things by their right namos. Man is the only creature that laughs; angels do not, animals can not, and der- us will not. A Cincinnati dyer recently went in sane from political excitement, ne suppose the more he read the madder he got. New Orleans Picayune : Burglar never wait for an opening in their basi- ness. Ihey go to work at once and mate an opening. A little frirl.noticine the clitterins gold filling in her aunt's front teeth, exclsuu ed : "Aunt Mary, I wish I had copper. toed teeth like yours. A school boy in Detroit who was re quested to write down as many saints as M could think of, could only remember two. There is not the least flower but seems to hold up its head, and look pleasantly, in the secret sense of the goodness of its almighty maker. "How shall we get the young men to go to church?" is the title of an article in a religious paper. Get the girls to go, my sainted brother; got the girls to go to church. The worst slandor often has it in some truth from which we learn a lesson that may make us wiser, and if we will bfii better, when the first smart of it i over. He that repents every day for the sins of every day, when ho comes to die will have the sin but of one day to repent of. Even reckoning make the longest friends. It's a poor rule that won't work both ways. A Milwaukee girl married a barj ber and he turned out to be a rich baron in disguise. Two more excursion boat accidents in the East river. The steamboat men have evidently been Studying the problem, what to do with the surplus population of our city. f Puck. Professor Huxley alludes to a eorom- floral dicotyledonous oxogen, witn monopctalous corolla and a central pl centation; but he doesn't say whether its bite is fatal or not. It will probably travel with Barnum's show next season, snd have ita name on a six sheet poster. , Norristown Herald. "If vou was a man, Jimmy, saw - little shaver to his chnm, "woo woma you vote for, Hancock or uaru' "I'd go with tbe Diggesi processus, . hot." New Haven Register. will probably grow up to be the editor of an independent poper. rmiAueipu-News. I don't think I like these niosquitor- ing places," soid Job Shuttle, as he gaa long and mournfully at his face as re fleeted by the mirror. "I ie9llt nevr m o many bills in one nigut wr fore. Honored every one of 'em witn draft, too. Blood money, by jingo. The boy was still through tne iu day. He made no harsh; discoraaiikw cries; he tore not around the rooms, o jumped over no tables nor UPP""'" no chairs; he stood not on Lis head nor turned somersault against the door. he was perfectly quiet, still. dead. ... A hotel is to be built at Quebec on w- , . n han lew spot wbere monigomerj t na ing the charge of the American troop the citadel in 1775. There will pitWg l,... nn that soot whicll I"1 recklessness will throw that of Montgom ery entirely into the shade and, as before, the American will be the aufferers. i a " ' ' 1 s ; s I