ANTICIPATING TBS BETVHN3. IUMT VIMt Mellon mini, ha fume and frets; 11 iHj Clilmiiian go away far; Oil blue I all warm up aud swsatM, Alio um dirty, Takeoff ill I rue, IJuuteeup Culnaman, ha I bat bat IKOMO TIME. Ifeliran man muntallee time masbee; tkiuli.tee at every girl be aee. Culuaman pntleeln big llcka waibee, Have no lunee, have bin tuoiiee, piincby rlcbee, be I be I be t third viae. Mellcan man, be make beap talk ; Chinaman allce time mind till eye. Blmeby Mttiican walkn clialkee; Cblnuman utcb blm, A I lee i line analoli lilm Clean bald bealed, III I bl I hi I LAfcT YKHMK. Like hawkrc on June bun. Chinaman pounwe Teline Meiliaan xne- mine im Flreeblm out 1 ill IT I Ulreti grmiil l)iincee I Melloan ikln, l'hloamu win, Allcee tlrou top bu, 1jo I bo t lio ! ADKIEE'!S STORY. It was novor happy at Aunt Browne's, but tboro seemed no prospect that I should leave her. I had como out so to peak, as fnr as any one so repressed could oome out, but I might as well staid in. I only sat in corners, talked with the chaperons, or listened to somo garrulous octogenarian. Aunt Brown's intercut in mo. such as it was, died a a natural death after my first soason it had always been weakly and the result was a sad deficiency in my wardrobe She had niarriod off two daughters with out difficulty, but a ninoe, it seems, tuck closor than a burr. However, it was not my fault that I remained un married. I had dono my host to be fascinating. Though I hated tho idea of marrying lor Home or position, yci i was sure I should not find it hard to love ono that was kind, to mo, if only on account of tho novelty. I was thirty now, and not uuused to hearing the changes rung npon old maids, and tho beggars who shouldn't be choosers, by my youngo'r cousius Husette and Anoio. But I had hail ono opportunity to change for bettor or worso of which they had novor dreamod. The son of Aunt Browne's second husband, Cudrio Browne, had asked mo to marry him, three years before, as wo rowod up the river in Juno for tho rosy laurel blooniB to decorate the houso and piazzas for Suwitto's birth day fete. I sometimes wondered what Aunt isrowno would nuvo inoiignt 01 ino proceeding, as slio had set hor heart upon marrying Husetto to Cedric. Per haps I refused him becauso I was taken unawares, because I was not enough in terested to euro abdut frustrating Aunt Browne's plans; perhaps I did not ex pect to bo taken at my word, but 3 i ii... a.. imagined n uiu proper wuv iu iiuuiiuu, in order to bo imjiortunod. I believe all my favorite heroines had conducted in this wiso. llowovor, . we rowod homo through tie Biinset, our boat heaped witli the pink flowers, in silence. "Yon look as if you were lade n with funset clouds," Bind Siisotto, who was watching for us on the Hhore; but I am oortuin Codrio looked like a thunder cloud. The next day wast tho feto. Every body brought presents for Busotto. Co drio gavo her an antique necklace of torqnoisos; I was suro ho hail meant it for mo. We had snppor out of doors under tho great pine trooH, and danc ing in the moonlight. That day I be gan to regard Codrio Browne atten tively. I had known him under the same roof for weeks at a time; I had laughed and talked with him, believing him foro-ordaiuod to minititor to Hu sotte's happinoHS, "as iuacccHHiblo as a star in heaven" so fur as I was con cerned, lio had helped mo with dele's children, who had come to live at Aunt Browuo'a whou their mother died. But that ho should regard me with any tender emotions, I had novor dared to winli. In fact, I had thought litUe about him till to-day. I had never observed till to-day that his eyes were . as tender as stars, that his face wan like tli at radiant countenance of Mozart in tho music room, that his smile was simply enchanting. It was rather late to iimko these discoveries. Ho did not leave us at once. It seemed as if ho stayed iust long enough for mo to know all 1 had lout. Wuee then ho had been with us once again for a whole month; but little Walter was ill with a spinal alToctioti that kept him on his back and me by his side; and though Codrio used to relievo mo often by day and by night, I could seo from my win dow, and from occasional glimpses into tho drawing-room, that tho balance of his timo was spent in Susctto's company. "Aunt Hnsetto's beau is going to make me a kite," Toddy confided to Walter one day. "Who's he?" ankod Walter from his bed. "Why, Cedric, of course Codrio Browne Bridget says bo herself," as if that put tho matter beyond tlixputo. The next day, when Codrio eamo up to amuse Walter with tho affair of down stairs, that youth demanded: "I say, aro you really Auut Susotto's beuii, tVdric? Adrienue ever so much nicer. When I'm a man I'll marry Adrionno." "Then you'll be luckier than I," said i'edric, winding up a top, and spinning it on his palm. It was a year siuco then. I no longer went out. I was fairly ,.. Aunt Browne had abandoned all hopes of me. 1 was a good nurserymaid, a cheap gov erness, an inexpensive companion in the family. In the meantime I could have married any day, if I had chosen to ac cept the lie. Abel Amherst, and trans fer my labors to the parsonage. To le sure this would not have proved the brilliant marriage my aunt had exiieetod of me, nor the romantic one 1 had dream ed of myself, and it was not till I came into wxwoKsion of a certain family secret that 1 began to revolve the possibility in my mind. It accins that when my anut married her second husband, Mr. Browue Sutte and Anne were lmth Lowells they had subsisted upon the patrimony left to Codrio by his mother, and that after his father's death, Cedric Lad turned in the tume yearly income from the estate for the family use, and that I, Adrienne I.nmx, owed my daily bread to the man 1 lad refused, and who had forgotten ma. Earning my own livelihood was out of the question, drudgery was my only vocation, and that was too badly paid to he encouraging. I looked at the Key. Abel Amherst often at this period, with a view to itsulling Liui in Cedriu's place if Cedric would only vacate. Oddly enough, Mr. Amherst renewed hiaauit at this time, and pressed it with tho eagerness of a lover, and for tho first time I began to hesitate. ' "The woman who hesitates is lost," said Snsette. ' . I had boen out on tho hills one day trying to make np my mind to forget Cedrio and marry Mr. Amherst, but whenever I began to think with some in terest of going to parish meetings, be coming tho president of Dakota leagues and sewing circlos, yisiting the poor, and drinking tea opposite the llev. Mr. Amherst all the rest of my days, somo how or other Cedric's faco would slip into tho picturo uninvited, and blot out his rival as strong sunlight fades a negative photograph. "There is a letter for you, Adrionno, said Aunt Browno, when I entered tho house "in tho music room, on the ton of tho dado, under Mozart's picture. ' I went into tho music room, but there was no letter to lie seen. "Perhaps ono of the girls has removed it," she suggested. But no ono had meddled with it. Grandma cooked a letter over tho tea kettle," said Teddy reflectively. "Yes," said grandma, "I wrote a let ter to your pa, child. I hadn't any blot ting paper, but the fire answors the pur poso quite as well." At that time I had novor heard of open ing letters by steam. Well, we ran sacked tho houso for that truant letter, but iu vain. "Who was it from', Aunt?" I asked. "How should I know, child?" 'But the hnndwriting.the post-mark!' The post-mark was blurred. "Had it a foreign stamp?" I asked, with sudden earnestness. Cedrio had gone abroad somo months before, and I had not heard of his return. "A foreign stamp! No. Wore you ex pecting a foreign letter?" "No; but it is tho unexpected thai al ways happens, you know.' "It's awfully provoking," said Susttte. "Perhaps it was only tho recipes Mrs. Clark was going to sond you." "Nothing more likely; but what has bocomo of it? It's a prolonged game of hunt tho thimbW "And supposing it's a letter notifying you of tho existence of a lirat Amherst," put in Anne, "or of a legacy left by your forty-fifth cousin in Australia" And then tho door-boll rang. "Well, after that I supposed I must have accepted Mr. Amherst. Everybody behaved as if I had. I received con gratulations and a ring, and tho parish bogan repairs upon the parsouago before I could muster courago to tell Mr. AinhorBt all about Cedrio and my mistako and how I wasn't at all suro I could over get over it, and caro for anybody else, but that I would do my best. And he smilod in a sort of absent way when I told hiin, but scorned content to take me as I was, for better or worse; only it did strike me sometimes that he was the most undemoiiHtrative lovor in Christendom; but I hadn't much exporionco in lovers and perhaps they weren't as gushing in real lifo as novels pictured, lie used to kiss my hand whon we parted ; that was all. Ho was very gentle but a little sad, I fancied with a look that might mean that ho was half afraid of so much happi ness, or that to mai ry a woman ho loved wasn't all that fancy had painted it. And often I thought I had perhaps done wrong to tell him everything about Cedric bo unreservedly; yot I had only meant to bo honest. But tho day was appointed and suddenly Cedrio appoared among us, when I thought ho was at the world s end, and the girls decorated the littlo church with white .daisies and grasses for tho occasion. You may bo lievo that I avoided Codrio ill tho inter val before tho wedding as much as pos sible, but somehow I was always stumbling on him; he loomed to be per petually at my elbow; ho surprised me more than oneo with traces of tears ou my faco. Tho sound of his voieo made my heart turn and quiver within mo. If I dared to withdraw" at this juncture, I'm afraid I should have dono so; but it was too late; and though I felt like a hypo crite w henover Mr. Amherst appeared, ho looks of sober satisfaction, which re minded mo of those lines of Matthew, Boyden on Hir Philip Siduey, 'A full HHMirnnes uiveu y look Continual comfort In a law. The liiiiiuiuuu of Kl'Ol b miUh." might have taught mo that all was well with him. "You aro the oddest sweathcarta I ever saw," gossiped Susettn. "I wouldn't give a straw for such a lover; and as for you, Adrionno, you resemble a ghost more than a brido." In short, a thousand years of purga tory would ill represent my sullerings during those last weeks before my wed ding. Well, to crown tho whole, Aunt Brown said Cedrio must give mo awuy ; he was the only male relative, the head of the family, so to speak, and he could do it so admirably. "We shall see, said ho. I'm afraid I should mako a poor figure at giving Adrienne away," and he stroked his tristo moustache as lie spoke and looked at me just as he looked that day we gathered tho laurel for Musette's feto I could have sworn ho did. I didn't answer, for fear my voice would bo husky, and the tears would start. The wedding was to lie quito private ouly relatives. Aunt Browno arrangod everything to suit'hcrsclf and the pro prieties; it didn't become a clergyman's bride to make a great parade. At the church, I remember, my veil caught in tho carriage door, and an orange blossom tumbled from my wreath, which Cedric picked up, and wore in his buttou-holo. Thou ho drew my half lifeless arm with in his, and directly tho wedding march iwale 1 forth in great resounding waves of melody. My grandmother's India muslin blow out in abundant creamy folds Miiud mo, and Codrio and I were stauding before tho altar, and Mr. Am herst was reading the marriago service ! I do believe that Anut Browne foiuted or she would havo forbidden tho banns. "Yon see, it was impossible for me to give you away, Adrionno," said Cedrio, later, when we were Btoaming out of town. "Amherst is a trnmp; and may ho tind a wife as sweet as Mrs. Brown I If it hadu't been for him, I should have lieea of all men the most miserable to day. What do you think he did? Why, he wrote me all that sad little story you thought right to fell Lim, and added that he was making a sacrifice; that in re nouncing yon he renounced all that inula lifn lovelv to him. ex cent his work; yot lie felt it was better one should fail of a heaven on earth than two snouiu suffer; and that if I loved you, aa I had once said, would I take his place at the at tue marriage, anu anow mm to auiciuu ize it? It was a whim of his to have it so 'to avoid explanations,' he said. I couldn't boliove iu my luck, you know, Adrienne. We bandied letters too and fro, canvassing the subject. I feared he had made a mistake, as I had renewed my ofi'or some little while before, but had received no reply; atill, a dozon things happen to letters every day." n "Yes, something happened to yours, I said. Years after, whon Susette and Anne were married, when Adele'a husband had tuken the children home to a new mamma, ond Aunt Browne had gone to "the land of the hereafter," when Codrio was repairing the old house for a summer residence, in ripping away the ancient dado in the music-room, which had always wrapped away from tho wall in warm weather, leaving a little crack, the carpenters unearthed my lost letter. Hail it slipped down there, or had Aunt Browne given it a pusbl We gave hor the benefit of the doubt. Jlarper'n liatar. A Noted Explorer. Vasco Da Gama, whose remains have just been removed aoross the Tagus at Lisbon to tho Monastery of Belem, is the greatest and most famous of the Portu guese explorers. He is generally cred ited with the discovery of tho maritime route to India, only second in import ance to the discovery of the Western World by Columbus. Dr. Pertz, Di rector of the lioyal Library at Berlin, announced some years ago that certain documents had been brought to light tending to show that tho route to the East via the Cape of Good Hope had beon known 200 years bofore Garaa's day. The explorer was descended from an an cient family, and supposed to havo boen tinctured with royal, though illegitimate blood. Ho early gainod the reputation of a dauntless sailor, ond after tho return of Bartolouimeo Diaz (1817) from doub ling the Cape, King Joao fixod on hiin as tho man most likely to find a southern passage to India. Joao's purposes were balked by death; but Mancel the Fortu nate, his suocessor, fitted out four vessels with 180 men, and put Gama in com mand, furnishing him with letters to all the sovereigns, including the mythical Prestor John, whom he might have occa sion to visit. The littlo fleet sailed from Lisbon July 8, 111)7, but was so beset by storms as not to roach what is now Table Bay until Novombor 1(1. Three days later, in tho tooth of furiona gales and mntinous sailors, ho rounded tho Cape, and touched at various places on tho hitherto unknown eastern coast of Africa. Having found the people of Molinda far more civilized than. ho had anticipated, he engagod a very intelligent Indian pilot, a native of Guzerat, and, putting boldly out to sea under his guidance, crossed tho Indian Ocean, and arrived at Calicut, Hiiidoostan, May 20, ll'J8. His recoption by tho Prince of the coast was not cordial. The Arab merchants resid ing there wore jealous of the strangers, thinking that thoy might interfere with their trade, and in cited the Hindus against them. Gama was obliged to fight his way ont of tho harbor, after which ho sailed homoward, reaching Lisbon September, ll'J'J, and was wolcomod with every honor. Man mil immiwIiiLtnlvHcntnsmiadronto India. under Pedro Cabral, to establish Portu guese settlements, m wincn no was out partially prosperous. At Calicut a num ber of tho adventurers wero murdered by the natives, whereupon the King equip ped another and larger squadron, under tho direction of Gama, who arrived safely at tho East African coast, founded the Colonics of Mazambiquo and Sofala, and sailed to Travancoro. Ho afterward bombarded Calicut, destroyed tho ono my's fleet, and compellod the Prince to concludo a treaty of peace, with heavy indemnifications. Before that ho had captured a richly-laden vessel full of Mohammedans, from various parts of Asia, on their w ay to Mecca, and believ ing them to bo African Moors, the tradi tional foes of his nation, ho slew all of them except 20 women and children. Beturning to Portugal, Gama was un employed for 20 years; but he was re engaged by tho now King, and reached as Viceroy, tho scone of his former triumphs. Ho redeemed the misfortunes of his predecessors, causing the power of Portugal to be once more respected in India. While in the midst of success, ho was ovcrtakeu (1525) by death at Cochin. His remains wore takon to Lisbon and buried with great pomp, and havo never been disturbed until now. Personally, Guma was short and stout, dark-eyed, dark-haired, prominent of feature and florid of complexion. Ho was intrepid, persevering, fertile iu re son roes, but violent in temper and capable of cruelty, though ho Was, on tho whole, far justori moro considerate and humane than most of the navigators and warriors of his timo and nation. ' Suggestions to Fat Tcople. No doiibtit is unplesant to be excess ively obese ; but the morbid dreaJ of fat which has iu recent years become fash ionable, has, according to the London .MififJ, no foundation in physiological fact. Fat answers two purposes ; it acts as a non-iMiiduclinu envelope for the body, and protects it from too rapid loss of heat, and It serves as a store of fuel. In the course of exhausting diseases it not iinfroqueiitly happens that the life of a patient may be prolonged until the re serve of fai is exhausted, and then ho dies of inanition. Fats supply th mate rial of the heating process, on which vi tality mainly dciwud. In great excess it is inconvenient ; but the external lay ings on of fat is no certain measure of the development of adipose tissue; much less does a tendency to Rrow imply or even suggest a tendency to what is known as "fatty degeneration." It is tune to speak out on that point, as the moot absurd notions seem to prevail. Again, it is not true that special forms of lood determine f.it. That is an old and exploded notion. Some organisms wdl make f.tt, let thorn be fed on the leauestand scantiest and less snccarine descriptions of food, while others will not be fattened, let them feed with the most "fattening" of diet. The matter is one in regard to which it is supremely desirable and politic to be natural, adapt ing the food taken to the requirement! of health rather than substance. Siuip!e food, sullicient exercise and regular hab its, with moderation in the use of stimu lants, compose the maximum of a safe and healthy way of life. THE HOl'SE-PAIXTEB. Painting and plumbing are crimes that go hand in hand. The plumber does not necessarily paint, neither does the pain ter ordinarily plumb, but the man who is capable of the one is always capable of the other. The qualities that enable a man to follow a successful career of plumbing are precisely those that would lit him for painting. Bo close is the rela tionship between the two occupations that we often find a plumber associating himself in business with a painter ond brazenly displaying the sign, "Plumb ing, gas-fitting, and house-painting done here." Thus, while one partner paints the outside of the house the other plumbs its interior, and between the two the ruin of the house-owner is made complete. The painter resembles the plumber in his deep-rooted unwillingness to keep his agrcemontsT One of his chief ob jects in life is to put off the hour of painting until the house-owner's patience is completely exhausted, and his conse quent indignation deprives him of that mental equanimity necessary for a suc cessful contest with the painter's wiles. There was, probably, nover an instance of a painter who painted a house on the day when he had promised to paint it. Ho never makes loss than three postpone ments. His excuse for the first of these is that lie is out of white-lead or turpen tine and has been unable to procure them. The second postponement is made because the painter professes to foresee a coming shower of rain which refuses to come with as much obstinacy as if it had been prophesied by Professor Ven nor and for the painter's third failure to appear on the promised day ho pleads either an attack of illness or the failure of his assistant to provide him with lad ders. By this timo the honso-owner has be come so indignant that, when the painter actually arrives, the latter finds it com paratively easy to "overthrow the argu ments of tho former in favor of any par ticular color. It is a point of honor with the painters nover to let a man havo his own choico as to the color with which his house shall bo painted. The home owner and his wife may have given much time to the selection of a nice color for the house and a suitable shade for the trimmings, but when he lays the two tints before the painter the latter invari ably replied, "O, thorn colors won't do at all, sir." In vain does tho unhappy man insist that ho likes them, and that, therefore, thoy will and must "do"; the painter bends a pitying glance npon him and asserts that he has no idea how the two tints in quostion will look when laid on the house. In most cases his obstinacy overrules the house-ownor, and tho latter is compelled to con sent to having his house painted with colors which he privately thinks detestable Sometimes, howover, the painter pretends to acquiesce in his vic tim's views, and the latter flatters him self that he has gainod a victory. He soon finds out, when it is too lato, that no painter ever yet consented to adopt colors which he himself had not selected. Tho honso-owner may have supposed that his house was to bo painted a deli cate cream-color, but he will find that it has boon painted Indian rod, and that tho painter iusists that he has strictly followed his instructions, although, as lio pretends, it is just possible that tho tint has boon mixed a triflo too warm. What can the helpless man whose houso has been thus unlawfully painted red do with tho wretch who calmly insists that Indian red is really a delicate cream color, rendered a triflo too warm in the mixing ? He may kill the painter, but the unjust laws of the country will punish him, or he may at vast expense hire another painter, and have his house repainted, with results as unsatisfactory as thoso which attended his first oflbrt. If he is a wiso man, he simply submits to the inevitable, and recognizes tho fact that no man can have his house painted to suit himself. There is a worthy gen tloman residing iu a New Jersey sub urban town who for twenty years has boen trying to have his houso painted a particular shado of brown. During that time ho has employed, four different painters, and has had his house painted successively yellow, red, green and orange, but nover once has ho beon able by threats or entreaties to induce a painter to use tho brown paint for which ho sighs. ' It is,, of courso, possiblo for a man to bny his own paint, thus procuring the precise shade w hich he desires, and then to hire a paiuter to put it on tho bouse. This experiment has boen tried, but no man having onco tried it, ever tries it again such a method of painting a house should not be attempted by any one whoso income is less than $15,000 a year. The amount of paint, turpentine and brushes that tho painter uses will be found to cost rather more than tho house. No matter if the paint merchant has made a careful calculation of the quan tity of paint that will bo sullicient to cover tho houso, the painter will demand at least three times that amount, and will then ruin his employer iu turpen tine and brushes. Moreover, tho amount of paint which the painter, who is hired by the job, contrives to spill on every available spot of surfaco where paint is not desired is 'enormous. He never fail to upset at least two well-tilled paint pots, and always selects the worst pos siblo localities for the performance of this feat. If wo add to this the number of panes of glass w hich the painter knocks out with tho end of his ladder, and the blinds he breaks with the same effective instrument, it will bo found, on the whole, cheaper to set tho house on fire than to hire a painter to paint it w ith colors selected aud furnished by the house-owner. In any event, the painter, when he comes to make out his bill, displays an amount of unblushing wickedness which the plumber alone can rival. He charges for his paints, brushes and tu'peutine; for his time, and for "tho job." He never takes less than twice the time to paint a houso which he originally said would be sufficient if he is lucky enough to bo able to protend that a sndden shower has spoiled the paint which he had jnst laid on, he can proceed to paint the honse all over again. As between the painter and the pluniber there is little to choose. The Litter is, perhaps, little the bidder of tho two, but the for mer accomplishes his criminal purposes with at least equal success. y.i.Timet. Mount Vesuvius is troubled with erup tions, and they don't know what to do with the crater. The Dark Horse. Ti.-i.i i- mnanoat niece of cold- blooded deception ever practiced upon a woman occurred out in Western Addi tion the other day. It seems umj mo belle of that important suburb of our iu a Mi Susan araiffey. and whom a vigorous rumor, kept in cir- culation by her less lavoreu sii credited with being a desperate little flirt in fact, what liUiy "we, me uuu- strel, used to call a "false-Uearted crokay. At all events, uer uuotuum were of sufficiently indefinite a quality favored visitors to look upon each other with the most vin- ilictive feelings common w umju These gentlemen who were respectively r; vi.,11 ,.i..Hii n-itli (tin eve classes and freckles, named Pliff, and a red headed dry goods manipulator caiieu Diggs occupied the intervals devoted to gloomily sitting each other out three evenings a week, to fruitless attempts to discover which of the two was really the coming man in the matrimonial race, so to speak. Last Thursday morning Miss Smiffoy, iu response to a business like ring, ad miitAil a tniddln-nired nartv with a black beard, and wearing blue goggles and a Iong tailoil ulster. "I am taking the sensus, mum," he umM nrtpiiinfr a flat book on the piano. and getting out some blanks, "just look sharp, please, ana answer tue necessary questions." Mias Smiffev tremblod a little, as women always do for some reason when talking to a Government omciai, ana aniil rIiaM trv. "Lem'nie see your name's Smiffey, I believe hrst namer "Snsan." "Middle name?" "Haven't got any, sir." "Come now, young woman, no prevar ication. Are you sure you haven t got a middle name somewhere, and aro trying to conceal it ?" "No, sir; indeed I haven't;" said the young lady, turning . very pale; "I wnnl.ln'r ileeeiva vou." . "You'd better not, mum. Thepenalty . ... .tiii is twenty-nve years at nara iauor, or both." "Gracious mo !" "Fact, mum. Now thon, let's seo what's next. Ah ! yes how often mar ried?" "Not once yet." "Ahum. Going to be, I s'pose ? Been asked, eh ?" . 'Oh I vas sir; several times." "CaJl it six times," taid tho census man, making an entry. "Wnats next.' Ah ! yes is your back hair false?" "M m must I answer that V" "Of course you must. Don't trifle with the United States Government, mum. Come now " "Well, it's sorter that is kinder" "That'll do wo'll call it mixed. Teeth sound?" "Yes, sir!" with much emphasis. "Don't get excited. Let's see I'll put your age down as twenty-five. The United States never allows us to take a woman's age on oath. They will lie cant help it, I guess." "I'm just eighteen. I don't care whether tho government believes it or not," said the citizoness snappishly. "Of course, of courso they all say that. Pay attention, please. What size corset?" "Eh?" Must answer, mum. Remember the peualty. How many inches around the waist?" "Well, if you must know sixteen. But I think it's just shame " "No remarks, if you please. Ahom? We'll call it nineteen. They generally throw off about three inches, I find. Size of shoe?" "Two but I can wear one and a " "I'll return you as a No. 3. That's about what a 'thjeer' always says. Any beaux?" "W-w-what?" "I say, any beaux? and be careful about your answer, mum. The Wash ington authorities are very particular ou this point. Has everything to do with tho next census, you see. Now, how many sweethearts?" "Well of course there are some gen tleman coming here, aud " "Of courso there are. I've got you down in the 'Good Looks' space as A. A. I. I. handsome.' So, of course, you have plenty of admirers. All the gov ernment requires, however, is tho prin cipal ones." "Well," said tho young lady, some what mollified, "there is Jimmy Pliff, and Tom Diggs, and" "Hold up, right there! Which of 'em do you intend to marry?" said the enu merator of population earnestly. "Oh, neither of them. There's ahem! there's a splendid gentleman named Scudberry Charlie Scudberry perhaps you know him? He has big brown eyes aud beautiful curly hair, and " "And do these these other gentlemen riiff and Diggs know of the existence of this this follow, Scudberry?" "Oh, no! I'm too smart for that. I just tag them along to buy ice cream and caramels, and tike me to the theater. It's tho biggest fun! Charlio knows all about it, you see, and he calls himself the the oh, yes! the dark horse!" "Oh, he does, does he!" roared the census man, jerking off his wig rfnd goar gles and reveuling tho enraged features of Mr. Thomas Diggs. "I wish him joy of his bargain, and I'll give him just six months to get a divorce from the most two-faced littlo cat on the Pacific Coast!" And he bunged the door like a pile driver behind him as he stalked out. Aud as Susan confided to Scudberry 'a left lapel that evening she hail never felt so utterly what-yoq-niay-call-it in the whole course of her thing-um-bob. As English Cbitic os Uexki James. Perhaps the best of the novels this quar ter is not only a reprint, bnt not even written by an Englishman. What is the particular excellence of Mr. James' nov els? He makes everythmg quite plain for the reader. He fills np all details. He spares no pains to bring out his charac ters into full relief. There is nothing slovenly about his writing. Many of our ablest novelists, especially women, seem to write with a sort of sympathetic ink, which require holding to some fire before the words become plain. Not o Mr. James. This is Mr. James' secret ha gets npon good terms with his reader. But to do this, as Thackeray did it, and Mr. James still does it, requires not only a great deal of humor but also a great of art. Westminster Review. ComparaUTe Talne of Food,, ' Dr. Eicharison, a prominent liah lecturer on annitnrv n,i .. mic questions, recently drew a - J trust between certni J BUI - viMuUV.rj JJ I. us follows: In the way of leari to live on foods nearest to th iiiJ and cheapest growth, we must ourselves to use more freely eJ fnnilj nml ilia fViilio . l 1 the jo ur d tot be; f em i no ear The accomplishment of thr through the use of vegetable t stances and lruits is common ttanlt for tvbon U'A nun I ""' iwvii, .v. ..-v- ..v mou UHllllUl 1(4, we, as a general rule, first nse u animal that supplied the food transmute the vegetable food it the animal. It is true one flc. eating animal may live on the P il.. An.l, . I if ha! M; tki b sat th in irr (TI we fee it Ol UUUbllVl UL-OI1 CUICI, UUl I tie cess is limited in range, and at tV bottom .of it there must L jr, supplying animal that gets its lttst' nance from the vegetable kingd0P This is only telling, in other wot(" the truth that there is no primitu, form of food, albuminous, starch-, osseous, in the animal wot-M ii, ' , ,u,Cl h Tho next question is that of qualit J or oi guuunuoo, uuiuuub ui nuurij.I mcnt of different kinds. Let us tJ ID he this lact in relation to amount c water in different foods. 1q u primest joints there is as much as; or 75 per cent, of water. Ther i some vegetables which contain nic wutcr than this, viz., potatoes, t: turnips, cabbages and carrots; I, there are other vegetables whi; contain infinitely less water. Os meal, for example, contains only or G per cent.: irood wheat dm t ' -V1. barley, uieul, Loans and peas, la . 1 - J I L. I Iu . .. I rice, 10, anu goim ureau, to io water. Taking, thon, tho value foods a9 estimatod by their go! value, there are. it will bo -obscrrp a large class of vegetable fool which, iorsolid value, are incompii bly superior to animal flcsb. pe; beiins. rico. oats, burlov and wh, I 1 J - I aro of this class. In the animal fool named there aro zo parts ot sol. mut ter to the 100: in the vecpiul,! foods specially named there are SI parts. We compute irora toe sol; mutter the value of flesh-formin?r strength-producing foods on tho an mal and vcgotable produce, we ti somo other uselul lacis. in a lez c mutton we find 24 per cent, of sol material, 10.20 of albuminoids ( flesh-forming substance, tha rest of is water. Let us compare that ti wheat as a favorite vegetable stance, and wo shall find in the ner cent, of solid matter of win 11.50 of albuminoids or flesh-formi substanco, and 71 of force-produci: substance or starch, with a little f; Whoat is, by this calculation, mt: moro valuable than leg of muttc and the vegetarian would, 1 da: sav. with fair argument, challeu: many furthor similar comparison Coming, iu lact, uirecuy 10 mauer quality or goodness, it may honest be admitted that, weight by weigl vegetable substances, when they i fiiirofnllv selected, uosscss tho mu striking advantages over animal nutritive value. A Model Disciplinarian. ConsiA able hilarity has recently been excited Anutvn-TTnnirariftn militarv circles I on iiipiMontniinintlvillustratinethe rip strictness with which Magyar non-cou inissuoneu oincers aro woih w ciuy to tho letter, the instructions contain in the imperial royal military code. taw ilnva aim a uri vnf soldier died tho barrack infirmary at Kascliau, c his body, in uue course, wus to the grave with customary militi honors. It was observed, however, I; it, nt the ceremc Uf interment, that the tiring party folfc ing the coilin marcnea mio me cuiur with fixed bayonets, contrary to t: established military usago in sinii fiiuna A a annn aft the burial rites h been concluded, he sent for the serges commanding tue party, anu as& k. U'if 1 SATT1 A ftQUOV itv "Whether he i not know that it was contrary to V regulations for a funeral escort to man Mm"" Standinc stiffly i tho salute, the conscientious sergeant rj plied: "Yes, sir; 1 am quue av t.lmt. RntThocr resDectftlll.Y to rep his illness t l.i'a 1. Ml tit WAS UD arrest. It was, therefore,.the duty of - oscnrt. in tiT liftvnnets." "Very WOUJ may go," was the rejoinder; and u -,.11 !.'.,..,, rafirod With U proud consciousness that lie t triumphantly proved his case.-LoBl1 Telegraph. i t - n.r,vi'uv An ii A rinu'uun iwwiu"- quisite bronze faun was discovered it - I.. rt 1 l.nn.i in VlimMU. 1 statuete wa3 tho ornament of a wUDl aud in execution, dimensions aau'.-i forms one of the group of the celew; Narcissus, Dancing-Faun and huea On entering the first room of the won. in the Naples Museum the eye is at attracted by the bold, free and g' attitude of this figure, the muscular elegant proportions of which M usually thick earthy incrustation, ca callv united with the oxide, in vain tr. to hide. The Faun leans far bc., l weight of the body rests on the ngM the left being extended forward P serve tho balance. The wine sun squeezed under and held by the Icfi ii - i.:u -...on the SPs me u&nu oi wiiiuu gioj- -, The right arm and hand are lowered i slighUv drawn bacK, m iue ' 1". one holding a cup to receive the sin' of wine. A tube at the back oi ' figure led the water into the wine - i : trnm the ! 07 The shape of the head is beautUui. locks of hair falling over the brow -j:i-ia . m-rpath IP10 . - . -.L ei rro,J bly a vine Drancn wiia fc'at' - , .. -1 .... i- i;ini-t DT i- ine ueaa, out is maue uuu" r . incrustations. The ears are poinsw. 11 n.- i Tl.o fart mere is uis usuai mu- . , figure express the joyous lodtv, of a youthful votary of Bacchus.-! - Tork Tribune. it -1 : , ,.J L I ' v,