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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (June 19, 1880)
t n, Ilenti;,., 9 w oen i! recite i the l' t mi4i:' Teat a. Ile7 B lor So; 1 tlier ns. orh he at. and li( lj a hit lian to-, intoca, 'W go.; aosea :le bov v. India! ut yon I kn s." skej 'I'm an ii i lit Indi My ed ft, me, tJ to (, 7 ti ledic:; HR, a: n tL lit! it th. veiv Lad cati sclh ortli tup- tvn Tarm t first begun to understand jay "correctly- there was a little in Snpenodliere. Seven years ago ;i.n in this region but me moved ifirt T stands his nouso-been ... no W house with a ono blf? ro,om,a M ii;ff nothing between the !nd the floor. Well, ono Sunday fl was Bitting out Here in tront oi.in with uiv cat. taking the sun, of"- t nff at the blue hills, and listen tZ leaves rnst ling so lonely in the 'tttv thinking of tlie nonie away sUl that I hadn't heard ,, rears, when V blue-lay ffa.wt house with an acorn in his lit tu. , 'Hello. I reckon I've mathing.' When he spoke the stmT" oat of his mouth and fitoB on the roof, of course, but Tcare; his mind was all on the had struck. It was a knot-hole riT Ha cocked his head to one t LUG i sbnt one eye u" r" r j "u'Tnlfl like a 'possum looking down .SWanced up with his bright J Uvea wink or two with his wings iSh sisrnifics gratification, you nu- ' 1 . lio rtflinr nnA ifSFocatedliieabple-bh.medifl tbelieveitisaholel .ThVn he cocked his hoad down and another look; he glances up per .rtiovful this time, winks his wings "STiS both, and says: 'Oh, no, this W t fat thing, I reckon! If I ain't in r ihr it's a Perfectly elegant hole!' Knew down and got that acorn, and 7. it uo and dropped it in, and was Editing his head back, with the Uenliest smile on his face, when all of , Iden he was paralyzed into a listen ittitude, and that smile faded gradu Iv out of his countenance like breath "i. .,nr and the queerest look of sur- .T Wfl. Then he savs, C I didn't hear it fall!' He cocked , ' t ii.n hole attain, and took a long Ski raised np and fhook his head; Led around to the other side of the We and took another look from that ft shook his hoad again. Ho studied i bile then he just went into the details talked round and round the holo and jjied into it from every point of the Tin use. Now ho took a thinking attitude on the comb of the Poof and scratched tho back of his head with his right foot a minute, and finally , 'Well, it's too many for vie, that's Jtain: must be a mighty long hole; however, I ain't got no time to fool uonnd here, I got to 'tend to business; I Bckon it's all right-chance it, anyway.' "So he flow off and fetched another icora and dropped it in, and tried to flirt hiseyetothehole quick enough to see that became of it, but he was too late. Beheld his eye there as much as a min ute; then he raised up and sighed, and gars, 'Consonnd it, I don't seem to un itand this thing, no way; however, I'll tickle her again.' He fetched another k'orn, and done his level best to see That become of it, but he couldn't. He mts 'Well, I never struck no such a lole'as this, before; I'm of the opinion it's a totally new kind of a hole.' Then he begun to get mad. He held in for a Bpell, walking up and down the comb of tite roof and shaking his head and mnt tering to himself; but his feelings got the nppor hand of him, presently, and he troko loose and cussed himself black in the faco. I never see a bird take on so about a little thing. When he got through he walks up to the hole and looks in again for half a minute; then he says, 'Well, you're a long hole, and a deep hole, and a mighty singular hole altogether but I've started in to fill you, and I'm d d if I don't fill you, if it takes a hundred years!' And with that away he went. You never see a bird work so since you wa3 born. He laid into his work like a nigger, and the tay he hove acorns into that hole for about two hours and a half was one of tne most exciting and astonishing spec tacles I evor struck. He never stopped to take a look any more- ho just hove 'em in and went for more. Well, at last, he could hardly flop his wings, he was so tuckered out. He comes a-drooping down, once more, sweating like au ieo piteber, drops his acorn and says, 'Now I guess I've got the bulge on you by this time !' So he bent down for a look. If you'll beliove me, when his head como np again he was just pale with rage. He says, 'I've shoveled acorns enough in there to keep the family thirty years, and if lean see a sign of 'em I wish I may land in a museum with a belly full of sawdust in two minutes.' He just had strength endhgh to crawl up on to the combe and lean his back again the cbimbly, and then he collected his im pressions and begun to free his mind. I . see in a second that what I had mistook for profanity in the mines was only just tie rudiments, as you may say. An other jay was going by, and heard him doing his devotions, and stops to inquire what was up. The sufferer told him the whole circumstance, and says, 'Now yon der'a the hole, and if you don't believe ne, go and look for yourself.' So this fellow went and Jooked, and comes back au says, 'How many did you say you pntintl sre?' 'Not any less than two tons,' says the sufferer. The other jay ent and looked again. He couldn't eem to make it out, so he raised a yell, nd three more jays come. They all ex imined the hole, they all made the suf ferer tell it over again, then they all dis cussed it, and got off as many leather headed opinions about it as an erago crowd of humans could lave done. They called in more KT; then more ud more, till pretty eon the whole region 'peared to have a blue flush about it. There must have been five thousand of them; and such an other jawing and disputing and ripping nd cussing you never heard. Every jay m the whole lot put his eye to the hole nil delivered a more chuckle-headed opinion abont the mvstery than the jay that went there before him. They ex amined the house all over, too. The door was standing half-open, and at last one old jay happened to go and light on it and look in. Of course, that knocked the mystery galley west in a second. There lay the acorns, scattered all over the floor. He flopped his wings and raised a whoop. 'Come here! he says, Come here, everybody; hang'd if this fool hasn't been trying to fill np a house with acorns!" They all came a-swooping down like) a blue cloud, and as each fel low lit on the door and took a glance.tbe hole absurdity that that first jay had tackled hit him home, and he fell over Baker's Blue-Jay backward suffocating with laughter, and the next jar took his place and done the same. Well, Bir, they roosted around here on the house-top and the trees for an hour, and guffawed ovor that thing like human beings. It ain't any use to tell me a blue-jay hasn't got a sense of humor, because I know better. And memory, too. They brought jays here from all over the United States to look down that holo, every summer for three years. Other birds, too. And they conld all see tho point, except nn owl that come from Nova Scotia to visit the Yosemite, and he took this thing in on his way back. He said he couldn't see anything funny in it. But then he was a good deal disappointed about Yosemite, too." A Tramp Abroad. Justice S. J. Field as a Duellist. During Mr. Field's legislative days iu the California Legislature, the members were little else than walking arsenals. Two-thirds of them carried either bowie knives or pistols. Some flourished both weapons. When a member entered tho House he unstrappeed his revolvers and laid them on his desk. It was done with as little concern as hanging up a hat, and it excited neither surprise or comment. There was a hot debute over tho proponed impeachment of Judge Turner. At the conclusion of Mr. Field's argument, B. F. Moore, of Tuolumne, arouse to reply. He opened his drawer, cocked his revol vers, and laid them on his desk. Then he launched himself on a sea of vituper ation. Mr. Field was 'handled without gloves. The most offensive epithets were used, and the speaker openly de clared himself responsible for his lan guage at any time and any pluce. Mr. Field answered Mr. Moore's arguments, but made no allusion to his personal re marks. After tho adjournment, how ever, ho asked S. A. Morritt to bear a note to Mr. Moore, demanding an apol ogy or satisfaction. Mr. Merritt refused, through fear of being disqualified for office. Mr. Richardson, another mem ber, also declined. Happening into the Senate chamber, the jurist saw a stone cutter seated at a desk, writing. He was David C. Brodciick, President of the State Senate. They were bowing ac quaintances. ''Why, Judge, you don't look well," said Broderick. "What's tho matter?" "Well, I don't feel well," Fiold re sponded. "I don't seem to have a friend in tho world." "What worrios you?" inquired the stonecutter. Tho jurist gave the particulars of Moore's assault upon his character, and said that, at all hazards, he was deter mined to call him to account. "Well, I'll bo your fri'md," Brodorick replied. "Write your note ; I will de liver it." The jurist wrote the note at an adjoin ing desk, and Broderick placed it in Mooro's hands. The latter gentleman crawfished. He said that ho expected to be a candidate for Congress, and that he could not accept a challenge, bocause that act would disqualify him." "I have no objection to a street fight, however," lie added. The stonecutter replied that a street light was not exactly the thing among gentlemen, but if Moore would do no better he should bo acommodatod. Ho forthwith nnmod time and place, and Moore promised to be on hand. Within an hour, however, he changed his mind. Ho informed Brodorick thut tho Hon. Drury Baldwin would act as his friend, and deliver a reply to tho note of Mr. Field. On the next morning tho stonecutter tested the jurist's skill in the use of a pistol. With a navy revolver Fiold pinniped a knot on a tree at a distance of thirty yards three times out of five. Broderick expressed his satisfaction, and urged tho nocossity of bringing tho mat ter to a speedy issue. "Bring it to an issue at once," Mr. Field respondod. Broderick quickly called upon Drury Baldwin, and asked for a reply to tho note. Baldwin replied that his principal had niodo up his mind to drop tho mut ter. "Then," said tho stonecutter, "as soon as tho house meets, Mr. Field will rise in his seat and repeat Moore's language as to his responsibility. Ho will state that respect for the dignity of the House prevented him from replying to tho attack in the terms that it deserved when it was made, and, after detailing Mooro's refusal to give him satisfaction, he will denounce hiin us a liar and a coward." "Then," said Drurv Baldwin, "Judge Field will bo shot in his seat." ' "In that case," rejoined Broderick, "others will bo shot in their seats." At the opening of the House. Mr. Field took his seat at his desk as usual. Broderick was seated near him, with eight or nine personal friends, all armed to the teeth and ready for any emer gency. When the journal was read both Field and Moore sprang to their feet, and shouted, "Mr. Spouker!" That offi cer recognized "the gentleman from Tuolumne' and Mr. Field resumed his seat. Moore read a written apology, full, ample and satisfactory. Broderick afterward befriended Mr. Field on many occasions. They were standing at the bar of a hotel in San Francisco in 1852, when Broderick saw a man throw back his Spanish cloak and level a revolver at his friend. In a twinkling he flung himself between tho two men, and pushed Field out of the room. The prompt action undoubtedly saved his life. Josh Bilunos o.n Makbiaok. By awl means, Joe, get married, if you have a fair show. Don't stand shivering on the bank, but pitch rite in and stick your he8d under and shiver it out. There ain't any more trick in getting married than there is in eating peanuts. Many a man has stood shivering on the shore until the river run out. Don't expect to marry an angel, they have all been picked up long ago. Remember, Joe, yon hain't a saint yourself. Do not marry for beauty exclusively; beauty is like ice, awfully slippery, and thaws dreadfully easy. Don't marry for luv, neither; Iut is like a cooking stove, good for nothing when fuel gives out. But let the mixture be some beauty, becomingly dressed, with about two hundred and fifty dollars in her pocket, a gud speller, handy and neat in her bouse, plenty of good sense, tuff con stitution and by-laws, small feet, a light step; add to this sound teeth and a warm heart. The mixture will keep in any climate, and will not evaporate. Don t marry for pedigree nnlens barked by bank notes. A family with nothing but pedigree generally lacks sens. A "Red-Hot" Newspaper, Colonel Bagshot runs a weekly news paper called the Union, up in Chodnnk. iiecently the Colonel was called away to New York on business, leaving the Union in the hands of an assistant who had boon in his employ some little time. Now the Colonel knew that said assist ant had the cheek of a brass stntuo, and the audacity of a New England fly, both indispensable attributes of thu news paper man; but still, after being in the city about a week he began to grow un easy, and telegraphed to L'hodunk: "How's things?" Back came the answer: "Bully! Circulation of the old thing's gone up a thousand. Boon getting up a red-hot paper, and there's a gong outsido that are weeping because they can't hoist tho shingles off the roof and knock tho whole concern to thunder. Stay away as long as you like." Bagshot didn't waste a moment after receiving this encouraging dispatch. He started home on tho first train, and reached Chodunk before night. Tho first man that struck him w as the ticket agent. "Look here, Colonel!" ho criod, ex citedly, "I've a darned good notiou to punch your head; you brazen-faced old liar." "Why?" asked Bagshot. "Read that!" and tho ticket agent shoved a crumpled Union into his hand. There was a paragraph markod as fol lows: "Railroad News. Tho bandy-legged idiot who robs tho railroad company at this village has purchased a now pockot knifo. More knockiug-down from tho cash drawer." Bagshot bit his lip. "Bill," said he, "that's calumny, and I'll see it righted in our next. It's my cussed assistant's work." "I don't care whoso work it is," growled the agent, "but if it ain't con tradicted, somebody's got to die; that is all." Bagshot didn't reply, but saibd down the street to tho Union office. He had not gone hulf a block before ho collided with Deacon Marsh. The Deacon seized him by tho shoul der and exclaimed: "What do you mean, Bagshot, by in serting that scandalously uutruo item about mo ?" "Didn't insert any item," replied the Colonel. "Don't sneak out of it in that way. You know you did. Why, I just cut it out of the Un ion listen : "Religious Intelligence. That whitod sepulchre, Deocou Marsh, was noticed, last Sunday night, trying to open the coal-holo in front of his residence with his night key. The deacon was full as a goat, and couldn't tell moonshine from green cheese." "Now that's nice, ain't it, saying that I was intoxicated Saturday night, when I went to bed at soven with a raging tooth acho?" "It's that reckless fool whom I left in charge," groaned tho Colonel. "I'll make it all right, Marsh." and Bagshot scur ried on again, only to be confronted by Major Blim. "Colonel !" uttered Blim, in his deop est voico, "this is villainous ! It's my in tention.sir, to call you out and shoot you through the heart. What tho douco do you mean by publishing this noto in tho Uiiion: Military Jottings. Major Blim, the tattered old beggar, who hid in an oyster barrel during the battle of Bull Run, wears a wig. Ho ougut to bo shot in tho back with a baked apple." "I Can't heln it, Blim," said Bagshot, wiping his forehead, "it's all owing to that young devil in the office. Ho hns made a red-hot paper. Just wait, Major, and I'll fix things.'' Then Bagshot started again. By tho postotlico old Parker grubbed him. "Oh you unfeeling ghoul!" wailed Purker, "you ought to bo rode on a rail. Tho idea of your making fun of my poor, dead child !'r "now?" "How? Havo you tho cheek to ask how? Maybe you didn't shove this into tho Union, did you, you heartless hypo crite:" "obituabv." "M'tln Bminlp I'arker Hd a moiiiHch piil ii. RhubHrb uiid Ip-ono 11. .ih w-ru lu vmIii; Ho kli ke.l the KOlUn bucket, Ii la purentH' h:n are sore; Tliey'il bury him fo-morrow, Am quarter ol lour." Of course Bagshot had to explain, and promised the bereaved father a two column notice of the dead Bonnie's many virtues. Hardly had he done so, beforo young Csoley appeared. "Colonel Bagshot," announced he, "you're a lying scoundrel. This is a nice thing to put in your blackguard sheet about a young lady:" "Society Items. Miss Coolcy, tho old hag on Sonth street, waltzes around in a patent bustle in tho hope of catching a fellow. But she can't; not even if she lavs the paint on twico as thick as sho does now." But Bagshot didn t stop to hear it. He flew across tho square to the Union office like a flash. No one was there. The able assistant editor, warned by friends unknown, had dnsted forever. Lying on the desk was a Union folded so this notice caught Bag- shot's eyea: "Literary Items. i.uo wuu-ueaueu snipe who pretends to run this paper has gone to New York. We expect every moment to hear of his sentence to Sing Sing for arson and highway robbery. The citizens of Chodunk should con gratulate themselves if the Colonel does not disgrace his village by being hung for infanticide!" Bagshot never intends to employ an other assistant editor, and journalists in search of a situation, will find it healthy to keep away from biro. Prince Bismarck's autographs are said to be a bone of contention among col lectors. They are exceed ingly rare and are becoming rarer still, the Prince hav ing of late put his signature to anything but official documents almost as seldom as he has appeared in public. At one time his autograph could be obtained by sending him a birthday present; but since a Berlin shopkeeper availed him self of the occasion to express his most distinguished consideration with a barrel of beer, and exhibited the autograph letter of thanks in his establishment, even this method of collecting auto graphs is in the Chancellor's case no longer of service. Charles Lever's Boyhood. Olini les Lever lit cloven years old was in manner, dress and appenrauce ut least three years in udvuueo of his period of life. Ho wus u romuvka Lly handsome lad, somowhut vain, ready of speech," with a laughing ninnncr, and wonderfully self possosscd for a youth of his standing. Uy his cousins, somo of whom wore his elders, ho win nt oiko admitted to the postilion of u senior, or rather of general director, nt work or nt ilay; and seldom hud u quiet house iold been turned so completely up end down. A loft was fitted up ns a theater, and Lover did cverrthiuir. Ho wns scono painter, prompter, played tho i ii. ..M .i . ,.i ..n nuuio, sang a u itiu songs, neieu un tho chief parts, and dressed tho per formers. The favorite pieces wero Bomhnstes Furioso, and the War wickshire Wag, but tragedies were not neglected. At every school at which ho was nhicod a reudv means wns soon dis covered by which ho could bo shaken out of his idleness. It was only to insinuate, tbnt wonder had been ex pressed that such heavy lads as Drown, Jones, or Kobinsou should stand abovo him in his class. Lever would probably rcplv bv a iokc. but. apparently without effort, Brown would be displaced, and licver would stand where ho had stood. Lever's indolenco was neither tho result of laziness or stupidity; half tho ingo nuity or study he gavo to schemes of amusemont, if otherwise diroctod, would havo placed him high amongst his fellows. With his toachers and masters, Lever lod a sort of cnt-and dos: lifo. Ho illustrates tho mutter in his own way. "Man," ho said, "was naturally a wild animal: he. like tho horso, re quired whip and spurs, as well as bit and curb, to scenro subjection to ine knowledgo and usages of civilized life. Tho sniritod horso would pitch his trainer over his shoulders if ho could; the spirited lad would act in tho samo lashion. Later on, second naturo, in tho shupo of habit, usually forced tho hunter to lovo his rider, and tho educated gentleman to lovo his former muster." When Lever visited luistiogo, in 1S17, ho was found to bo behindhand in two im portant points of his education, and it was arranirod that ho should attend with his cousins for daily in structions in writing ana tigurcs. Tho instructor wns James Cotterull, schoolmastor and land surveyor, bo tweon whom and Lover a wariaro to tho knifo spcodily broko out. 1'rAvinua to the introduction of Lover to tho housohold whero ho was a visitor, a more docilo set of pupils than Cottcrall had rulo over could not be imagined. In a week all was chanjiod; there .was nogligonco, thorc was rebellion, thcro was disturbance, and tho imposing ceremony of "beg. ging off" was laughed at as a silly farce. Lever had imported a thousand annoyances for tho master, never heard of before in tho country, and C'ottorally fairly admitted himsolf to bo at his wits' end. Ho was not above, however, taking his rovengo on Lever. Luring tho performance of Lever's tragedy of tho Death of Nelson, when amidst shots and groans the hero falls mortally wounded into tho arms of Captain Hardy, in tho fishing cot that did duty for H. M. S. Victory, ho in dulgod in an explosion of laughter which completely scattered the effect which Lever had been toiling to pro duce. 7V Unii-cmtii Matjazine. Waiteu foii mi; C.uu.i:. In I."i8 Dr. W. II. Kussell, as Time correspondent with tho Atlantic ctiblo expedition of 1858, wroto: "But as a mito would in all probabilities never have beou soon but for the invention of cheese, so it may bo that thore is some undeveloped croation waiting perdu for tho first piece of gutta percha which conies down to unman his facultv and fulfill his functions of lifo a gutta-percha boring and eating teredo who has beon waiting for his meal since the beginning of tho world." While tho Doctor wrote these words his prophecy was being actually fulfilled. The borer was at work. The Levant cable; laid in 1858, and taken np tho next summer, was found to be beset bv "millions of small shell-fish or snails," accompanied by small worms, which had completely destroyed the hemp of the outer sheath ing, and eaten circular holes in tho gutta-percha core. Prof. Huxlev, on ex amining these shells, wrote: "Tho speci mens you sent me remove all doubt as to the nature of the mischief-maker in the cable. It is a bivalve shell the xylo phaga closely allied to the ship worm (teredo), but distinguished from it, among other peculiarities, by not lining its burrow with sholly matter. The xylophuga turns -beautifully cylindrical burrows, always against the grain, in wood, and I have no doubt it perforated the hempen coating of the cablo in tho samewav. On meeting the gutta-percha :i .",! nnt in lmvA lik oil it. and to have turned aside, thus giving rise to the elongated grooves whicn we see. f Chamber's Journal. A Smaix Dinxeb fob One Lady. A i.i- & Baltimore hotel lately decidod to have a little dinner all by herself, and here is what sne caiiea iur, served in courses: Soup, baked shad -...v.i mnttnn and carter sauce. biuubu, uun" s . V ..." chicken with egg sauce, turkey with parsley sance, spring lamD ana mm sauce, roast veal, stewed kidneys with champagne sauce, chicken pie in country style, coia vesj, coiu bu. .1-1 ....(nfnAa ninA'h- lettuce asparagus, cabbage, apple pie, rbnbaro pie, pnncn cas.e, oaaeu vpu u. -of vanilla ice-cream, English walnuts, crackers, rice snow-balls with cream, apples and coffee. f Baltimore Sun. Americans and Titles. Ambitious Americans who havo tho misfortune to posse- letters of credit of very limited amounts, manage to obtain titles and decorations by ways that aro dark and mysterious as th'oni of the heathen Chinee. Some littlo act of gal lantry to any member of royalty, if worked np and manipulated in an effect ive muuuor, is s, i mi to bring its ivu.ir.1. The story is told of a lucky American in ISomo who recently earned a dooorution and title In ! Halting to the ivmim if :!:. Queen's poodle. It was his good fortune to be walking on the Pinciau Hill tit tlie samo time tho Queen was taking her afternoon promenade. Her pet poodle had wandered a short distance from her when it was pounced upon by a big bull dog, and would have been chewed up oud swallowed whole silver collar, pink ribbon and all but for the timely rescuo by tho American. Of courno the Queen screamed and fainted, and wns only re stored to consciousness by having her fa vorite placed iu her arms unharmed by tho cailant foreigner, who had the pres ence of mind to present her royal high ness at tho same tune his cant ana ml drew. It was a bonanza of luck to the man in tho fashionable world. The ro snlt was a decoration, and ever sinco, wherever ho goes, society throws wide open its doors for his entrance. At all tho swell ilinuer given ly mounters oi tho American colonies in Paris, Kome and Florence, the blue and rod libbon in his button-holo is tho envy of his less fortunate countrymen. I recently met in Marseilles au Ameri can whom 1 had known years ago, first as a captain of a trading vessel, and after ward ns a successful ship chandler. He had begun lifo its a poor cabin boy in a coasting schooner, and had worked him self up tho ladder nutil fortune had smiled upon him and ho had become tho possessor of largo wealth. I noticed pinned to a coat collar a small colored rosette which was prominently displayed as an insignia of rank. "Halloo! ' 1 exclaimed with some sur prise, pointing to tho rosette; "what have you beon doing?" "Oh, nothing limiting particular, no answered, evidently not wishing to orfter into particulars; "I was not aware I had it on," and unpinning it, he placud it carefully in his vest pocket. "But yon havo got a decoration; you have been mode a knight or prince," I said. "Nousonsol nothing of tho kind; it was given mo as a mark of ostooni, a rec ognition, you understand; foolish, I know, but wo Americans do foolish things somotimos; but ploaso don't men tion it when you got homo." "Of course not, but such favors aro never bestowed promisouously without a cuuso. You must havo saved tho lifo of some niombor of tho royal family." "Not much," he said, giving me a pe culiar twinkle with his right eyo; "I wasn't such a fool as to throw myself un der the hoofs of tho King's horses; thore is a cheaper 'way of getting these things." I saw that tho Biiltjoct of titlos, and the mannor iu which ho obtained his, woro not favorite topics with him, and so tumid tho conversation. 1 loarnod afterward, however, as a fact, that ho had paid tho Popo several thousands of dollars for a title which allowed him tho privilege of displaying tho small rosette on his coat uAhxr. Springfield Repub lican. Sick lleadiialio. This complaint is tho rosult of eating too ranch and exorcising too littlo. Nine times in ten the cause is in the fuct that tho stoinueh was not ablo to digost tho food last introduced into it, either from its having boon unsuitable, or excessive in quantity. A diet of bread and butter, with ripo fruit or berries, with moderate nn,l eniitinuoits exorcise in tho open air sufllcieiit to keep up a gentle perspira tion, would euro almost every case in a short time. Two teaspoonful of powderod charcoal in a half glass of water, and drank, gives instant roliof. ' Wo are in clined to think that tho abovo remodios may do in somo, but not in all cases. A nnvprniim remedy for this distressing .liseiiKo is not easily found. A now cor respondent from Connecticut contributes tho following on this subject: Sick headacho is periodical, comes on at regit lar intervals, and is the signal of dis tress which tho stomach puts out to in form us that there is an over-alkuliiio ..ii,i;iimi r,f its fluids : that it needs a natural acid to restore the battery to its normal working condition, vvnon tne firuf uvmntams nf hoaduoho appear, take a tablespoonful of lomon juice clear, fif teen minutes ueioro eacn meui, aim uio same doso at bedtime. Follow this up until all symptoms are passod, taking no other remedies, and you will soon bo able to go froe from this unwelcome nuisance. Many will object to this bo cause tho rouiody is to simple ; but I have mudo many cures in this way. Showed his Gratitude. "I'm goin' right in this river," said he, staggoring toward the string piece, as the policeman clutched him by tho collar. "Lcmme go, I tell ver. You lemmo go. I'm just goin' right in this river, and I'm goin' fer ter drown my sorrers. I've busted aroun' this yer country till I'm finished. You hear me I Lemmo go, will yer? Oh ! just let me get inter the swellin' tido. Let go yer hold ; lemme alone 1 I'm goin' ter bust a holo in mortality." , But the policeman luggod him off. "Say, or man, yer saved m'life," said the would be suicide, as he knocked his hat over his eyes. " You'r a square f'ler. Now lemme go to bed. Y'ear me ? lem me g'home. Oot two ten dollar bills? Got 'em?" The policeman said he had two fives and a ten, jnst to humor the man. "Good'nuff. That'll do. Gimme the ten," and he pullod out a twonty dollar bill. Gimme the ten, y'ear? Going to makeyer present ten dollars. Take this and gimme ten. Yer saved m'life." Once more to humor him the police man gave him the ten and took the twenty. He didn't want the money, but the exhibition of gratitude showed a dawning interest in life that should be encouraged. Then bidding him good night the policeman walked off. If the drunken man who was rescued from death by a tall policeman Friday night will send his address to headquar ters, he will receive back his counterfeit twenty dollar note and hear something to his advantage. , Scientific Miscellany. An English correspondent suggests an arrangement for winding clocks by elec tricity. Tho honey bird of South Africa is about the size of a sparrow and possosse remarkable intelligence. Being nnab le by its unaided efforts, to procure i Is favorite food, it attract the attention o f llK-ll u.i ." .v.i ...tit col... . j t..Mi to trees, often away, when w'M ltonev is stored. lu- bird then awaits a The ei.it coast of Hudson bay is re ported to bo undergoing vory considera ble chauges in its level, since the posts of the Hudson Bay Company wore estab lished at the mouths of the various riv ers there has been an increasing difficulty in approaching them with largo craft, and this rising of tho earth is estimated at from five to ten feet within tho lost hun dred years. Similar changes have boen obsorved on tho west coast of the bay, at the mouth of tho Nelson and Hayes riv ers, near which is an island culled Mile Lands now several feet above high water which within the memory of man was al ways submerged at flood time. A new process for copying drawings, prints, etc., consists of coating paper with a solution of per chloride of iron, and. when dry, exposing it to light un der the drawing. Tho black lines iu the latter protect corresponding portions of tho paper beneath, while the other parts are blenched white. A wash in a solution of gallic acid now changes tho protected lines into a bountiful blue black, form ing, in fact, a real ink. A lake, so long as it is not frozen, is a reservoir of heat which tempers the cold of winter. Dr. Forel calculates that the heat evolved from tho Lako of Geneva during live days of extreme cold in Do comber was equal to that produced by l.iloli.lKK) tons of coal. The sky having beou generally covered with clouds dur ing those five days, most of the heat must have been retained in tho lower atmosphere, and no doubt served to miti gate for that region, the cold that wus so severe elsewhere. A (ierman chemist claims to havo dis covered a substance which may bo used as a substitute for phosphorus iu matches. A French scientist has examined tho effect produced by cold on oows' milk and finds that the hearer tho tomporaturo of tho milk is kept to freezing point for twenty-four hours or moro after being drawn tho more rapid is tho collection of cream and the larger is the quantity, more butter being produced, whilo the butter, tho skimmed milk and the cheese aro of better quality. He thinks it proba ble that tho freezing arrests tho evolu tion of tho living organisms which sot up fermentation and hinders the changes which aro duo to their growth. Those facta indicate room for grout improve ment in tho methods of storing ami pre serving milk, showing as thoy do the necessity of extreme cleanliness and low umperatiiro. Knew Ids Business. A few months ugo ono of tho conduc tors on tv Brooklyn streotoar oxpnrioncod religion and joined a small flock iu the neighborhood of his residence None moro dovont than ho was to be found the country round, and every spare moment from his business was put into something energetic towurd strength ening up tho littlo church into which ho hail projected himself. Noticing his interest, his pastor, to en courage him, shoved him along all he could, und in a short timo tho now con vert was a shining light among his follow worshippers, and tho Christian grace with which ho passed the contribution plate evoked nicklos from what before had beon barren pockets. Ono Sunday morning a hoodlum was noisy ami the conductor quietly ordered him out. lln went, but lust Sunday evening ha appeared with a mob of dis solute companions, bout on difficulty. Tho conductor kept an eye on the riug loador until the disturbances became uu bourahlo. " Put on the brakos, parson," said he, " till I look after tho faro." Approaching the thug ho went for him and wiped up several yards of aisle with him, mid thou stood him on his legs. "Five cents for tho Kingdom of God I" ho demanded. Tho hoodlum said ho did not have to pay. " Fivo cents for this ride on tho Gos pel chariot,"and ho smashed tho thug in the countenance " But brothor," remonstrated the pas tor, "you can not compel him to contri bute.'' - "Nevoryou mind that, parson, ion preach and I'll collect. This man oan't dead head on this orthodox through line withont putting up. Beside I'm respon sible to tho company for his faro. I've punched him and he's got to show some coin." ' An incident op the Chimea. One evening, about dusk, as our regimontal detail for tho trenches were falling in ami tho sergeants of companies were calling the rolls of their men, a man of No. 2 company was missing. "Flanna gan!" shouted tho Sergeant, repeatedly. "Here, Sergeant," returnod a faint voice not far off, and from a man bonding under the weight of something wrapped in a blunket, also his riflo and a shovel. "Why don't you fall in ?" said the Sor goant. "I will, as soon as I've bnried my brother, Sergeant," and going ft short distance from Uie tents, he scrajted a resting-plooe in the snow and hastily covered up all that was dear to him. Standing a moment, as if engaged in silent prayer, the brave follow joined the party ami marched away. Boston Com mercial Bulletin. A California Mahbiaob Contbact. The following instrument was filed for record in the office of the Napa county Recorder last Friday: "This indenture witnesseth that the parties named do hereby intermarry or marry each other under and by virtue of, and in accord ance with tho provisions of section 75, Civil Code, and do now assume the re spective duties of husband and wife. That the parties do hereby join in this declaration of marriage, ch promising and covenanting with the other to assume and carry out dnring their natural lives the duties and obligations of marriage in the sight of man and God." The agree ment is signed by James W. Thompson, aged thirty years, and Varner E. Brookins, fifteen years of age nd was executed at Knoi ville on the th inst