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ESTABLISHED FOB THE DISSEMINATION OP BEMOCRATIC PRINCIPLES, AND TO EARN 11 BONESTlfTING IT THE SWEAT OF OCR BROW.
WHOLE NO. '620.
EUGENE CITY OR.. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1879.
$2.50 per year IN ADVANCE
thi1 ffiiriiff
Y 'r : -1 --r-4-
mi
Ike 6ugtn City 5uarfl.
H. I CaMFBKLL. J. B, CAMPMCLL
CAMPBELL BROS.,
Tublishsrs and Proprietorfe.
OFFICE In Underwoods Brick Building,
over Grange Store.
OUE OSLT
BATES OF ADVERTISING.
Advertisements inserted as follows :
On square, 10 lines or less, one insertion S3;
ach subsequent insertion SL. Cash required in
Vlvance.
Time advertisers will be charged at the fol
. owing rates :
'One square three months 96 00
, " " six months 8 00
" " oi.e year 12 00
. Transient notices in local column, 20 cents per
line for each insertion.
Advertising bills will be rendered quarterly.
AU job work must be paid roR oh delivery,
POSTOFFICE.
Mr Hours -From T a. m. to 7 p.m. Sundays
V ml.JOto J:Mp. m.
Hail arrives from the south and leaves ruin north
IS , m. Arrives from the north and leaves tome
ir ith t Ml p. m. For Siiii.law, Franklin and I-ou
T ius. closs at a.m. on nenuesciav. ror umwioru.
Cim. Creek ami Brownsville at I ..
Letters will be ready for delivery half an hour after
.rival of trams. Letters should be lelt st tne umce
rue hour before mails depart.
A. 8. PATTERSON. P. M
SOCIETIES.
l.nnna Nn II. A. F. and A. M
.Meets first and third We inesilars in each
mentn.
Bpkikhb Butt Txidok No. 9 I. O
-jfe O. F. Meetsevery Tuesday tveninr.
VivirtW WlMWHALA BNCAMTSISNT so. o,
'ineets on the Id and 4th Wednesdays in each month.
DR. L. M. DAVIS
DENTIST,
Eugene City, Oregon
fooOMSOVER GRANGE STORE, first
.X door to the right, up stairs. Formerly
Hi of C. W. Fitch.
Nitmus Oxide Gas for paiulee extraction of
'tteth.
W. Sheltok. M. T. W. Harris, M. D.
Drs. Shelton & Harris,
hlYSICIAS & SURGEONS,
Eugene City. Orenon..
A. TV. PATTERSON,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
fcflr Ninth Street, apposite the St.
(baric Hotel, an at KeaUence,
KlTGKNK CITY ORKGON.
Dr J. 6. Shields
OFFERS HIS PROFESSIONAL SEIt
rices to the citizens of Eugene City and
surroun(lini country. Special attention triven
( all OBSTETRICAL CASES and UTER
INE DISEASES entrusted to his care.
Office at the St Charles Hotel
DR. JOSEPH P. GILL
CAN BE FOUND AT HIS OFFICE or res
idence when not professionally engaged.
Office at the
POST OFFICE DRUG STORE.
Residence on Eighth street, opposite rresuy
erian Church.
S.llenieinvay, M. D.,
PR YSICIAJY $SVR GEOjX.
, Residence -Corner of Osk and and FiflE
Streets.
EUGENE CITY,
OREGON.
GEO. B. DORRIS,
ATTORNEY & COUNSELLOR at LAW
Office on Willamette street, Eugene City.
JEWELRY ESTABLISH EXT.
J. S. LUCKEY,
DEALER IN
Clocks, Watches, Chains, Jewelry, tc,
Repairing Promptly Executed.
All Work Warranted. JPS
J. 8. LUCKKY,
Ellsworth t Ce.'i brick, Willamette street
t-iw iiTnru iif HITS-The W
and largest ever bnwnrht to Eugene, at
Bonk and stationery Store.
TOST OFFICE BUILDING, EUGENE
City. I have on hand and am contan'.ly
receiving an assortment of the BeU School an
Miscellaneous B"k. Stationery, Blank Look
Pfcae!,.tt'eU' VhlT
Rear Estate Agent,
Collection Agent, .
and Notary Public.
EUGEXE CITY. : 0 REG OX.
J. ft ALEXANDER,
Justice o! the Peace, Conveyan
cer and CoIIectoiv
Billi enlWted, Kecorde searched and ab
tracts of title anade. All bnsine pmmptlT
attended to. Oa-e at the Court House.
f BOCEBIES IshaU keep sa a fall of
GROCXRIES & PROVISIONS
itaetb. 1
S. Rosenblatt X Co.,
DEALERS IN
GENERAL MERCHANDISE,
At the old stand, Southwest corner of Eighth
and Willamette streets,
EUGENE CITY. OftEUO.V.
Have the most cothplete'Stock of ,
General Merchandise
In the city, including
Dry Goods,
Groceries,
Hardware,
Crockery,
Etx,etc.
And in fact everything the market demands,
which we are selling 'at
BED-ROCK PRICES,
CASH
Paid for all kinds of farm produce
delivered at our Store.
S. Rosenblatt & Co.
OSE.UES3 & CO'S
TVTEW DRUG STORE ON WILLAM
11 rtee Street, near Ninth,
dka!.k;s in
RUGS,
CHEMICALS,
OILS.
PAINTS.
GLASS,
VARNISH KS
PATE3T MEDICINES, &c.
Brandies. Wines and liquor
OF ALL KINDS.
In fact, we have thj best assortment of arrtel
found in
FIRST CLASS DRU dTORK.
We warrant all our drain., for they are new and
Freh. Particular attention is called to our
Stock of
Perfumery ai.u Toilet Articles.
As we have bought
OUR GOOr'S FOR CASH
We can compete with any establishment in Eu
gene City in price ami accommodation.
Buy your goods where ynii can get
the best And cheajwst
PRESCRIPTIONS CAREFULLY FILLED
At all hours of the day or night
OSBURN & Li
TRY IT f THE T O. HEKPRICKS BRAND
of Mi i P. For sale only bv
T.U. HKNI.IIII KM.
BOOTS AXD SIIOEfS-CALtFOr-nia
hand and machine made Boots and
Shoes. A new lot direct from factory. .
S. 11. KM KN DLy
A BELLI ' TTM.OX-I am the soli
i awnt for this Jelebnited wagon.
" G. HENDRICKS.
.PHOTOGRAPHS.
Albert Jackson, Artist,
Takes Photographs, (Jems, Carls, Cabinet
and Life-Size, style and finish eqnal to any
work done in the State. Prices reani'nahle.
GALLERY Willamette street, Eugene
City, Oregou, over Mrs. Jackson's Millinery
Store. dec 15.-ira
General Notice.
MR GEORGE HUMPHREY HAVING
placed his business in the hands of the
undersigned for collection and settlement,
all persons owing him who have not nitile ar
rangement for extension of time, are hereby
notified to make payment or other satisfactory
arrangement without delav.
A. U. HOVEY.
H. C. HUMPHREY.
Summons.
In the Circuit Court of the Stele of Oregon in
and for the county of Lane.
Emeline Wallace and Malthew Wallace, her
husband, plaintiffs;
va.
Thomas Oarside and Ann Garside, bis wife.de
fendantf. Suit in equity to fortclisie mortgage on real
proerty.
To Thomas Garsiile and Ann Garsiile. his
wife, the above named defendant:
5N THE NAME OF THE STATE OF
J uieb'on, you ai.d each ol yi.u, are hereby
suuiuionoi to appear in utid couit uu ansA r
the complaint of tht platntiils hied herein,
on or llire Monday, tue tiiird day of Novem
ber, 1 , that bei4 tlie fcrxt day of the term
of court lolloaing the time prescribed in the
or ler for publication of summons, or plaintitl
will apply to the court for the relief deman ded
therein, nameiy, a juiL.Tnent in the sum of
five thouMnd dollar in gold coin ot the
j I uited Utes with interest thereon at one per
! cent per month, since October 1-th, lift 8,' aiwi
a decree l the sale of the following described
real property, in Lane eonnty. Oiem, to-wit
I The 1 -nation claim of Matthew Ma'lis and
I wife, ot tl'A in Sections 'O and H in Town
ship 17 South of Kan'e four West, eonteining
JJU acres, also commencing at the Northwest
corner of said claim, thence West cba.,
thence South 47. nOcua., thence East i 05 cha.,
thence North 47.J clia. to the place of begin
aing, cob awing 17. 4Jacreof U1 and f or such
mhrr and further relief as to toe court may
eerm equiuble and just
! It i ordered by the court the Honorable
J. F. Wataon, Judge, dated September Litb,
' 1479, that service at sumnxpos be male oa too
by publication in thebageneGrasU,aaewsps
tm-r unblMQeu IB aani cuunir, im ctiovh-
JTre weeks. - lOKRi.S,
Plaiatiffs ArVwasT.
KtJOKNK CITY
JUSTNESS DIRECTORY.
ALEXANDER, J.. B.-Justice of the Peace
South Eugrhe Precinct; otfioe at Court House.
ASTOR HOUSE-l'haa. Baker, prop. The
only first-class hotel in the city Willamette
street, one door north of the post office.
ABRAMS, W. IX ftBRO.-rianing mill,
saih, door, Tlind ahd moulding hisnufactory,
Klgtith trket, east ol mill race. Kyerythtns
ih bur litie. furnished on short Vbtice and
reasonable terms.
BENTLEY, J. W. -Private boariliiig hoiVe,
southwest corner of Eleventh and PesVl sts.
BOOK STORE-Ono dr south of the Astor
House. A full stock of assorted box paper
plain and fancy.
BOYD i MILLER Meat Market-beef, veal,
mutton, pork and lard Willamette street,
between Eighth and Ninth.
BRIGGS, A. C. -Saddlery, harness, saddle
trees, whiis, etc., Willamette street, between
Eighth and Ninth.
CLEAVER, J. W. General variety store and
agricultural implements, southeast corner of
Willamette ami Seventh streets.
CHRISM AN. SCOTT -Truck, hack and ex
pressman. All orders promptly attended
to. Office at express office.
CRAIN BROS. -Dealer .in Jewelry, Watch
es, Clocks and Musical Instruments Wil
lamette street, between Seventh and Eighth.
CALLISON, R. G. -Dealer in groceries, pro
visions, country produce, canned goods, books,
stationery, eta, southwest corner Willamette
ahd 9th Sts.
DORRIS, B. F. -Dealer in Stoves and Tin
waro Willamette street, between Seventh
and Eighth.
DURANT, WM.-Meat Market beef, pork,
veal and mutton constentlv on hand Ninth
street, between Pearl hd High.
ELLSWORTH & CO. -Druggists and dealers
in paints, oils, etc Willamette street, be
tween Eighth and Ninth.
FRIENDLY. S. H. -Dealer 1n dry (foods,
clothing and general merchandise-, Williini
ette street, between Eighth and Ninth.
GUARD OFFICE-Nfwspaper, hook and job
printing office, comer illainctle and highlit
streets, up stairs.
GRANGE STORE-Dealert in general mer
chandise and produce, comer Eighth and
w mamette streets.
GlLL, J. P. Physician, Surgeon and Drug
gist, Postoffice, Willamette i eeet, between
Seventh ami Eighth.
HAYS, ROBT.-Wmes, l.'iiuors, and Ci
gars of the best quality kept cons'ar.tly on
hand. The best billiard table in town.
HENDRICKS, T. G.-Dealel in general mer
chandise northwest corner Willamette ami
Ninth streets.
HODES, C Lager beer, iquors, cigars and a
fine pigeon-hole table, Willamette street, be
tween Eighth and Ninth.
HORN, CHA3. M. -Gunsmith. Rifles and
shot-guns, breech and rauszle losders, for sole.
Repairing dune in the neatest style and war
ranted. Shop on 9th street
KINSEY, J. D -Sash, blinds and door fac
tory, window and door frames, mouldings;
etc., glaring anil glass cutting done to order.
LYNCH, A -Groceries, provisions, fruits, veg
etables, etc., Willamette street, first door
south of Postofiice.
LUCKEY, J. 8. Watchmaker and Jeweler;
keeps a fine stock of goods in his line, Willam
ette street, in Ellsworth's drug store.
McCLAREN, JAMES Choice, wines, liquors,
and cigars Willamette street, between Eighth
and Ninth.
MELLERs M Brewery Lager beer on tap
and by the keg or barrel, corner of Ninth and
Olive streets.
OSBURN & OO. Decrs in drug", medicines,
chemicals, nils, paints, etc. Willamette st,
opposite S. Charles Hotel.
PATTERSON, A. S.-A fine stock el plain
and fancy visiting cards.
TERKINS, H. C. -County Surveyor and Civil
Engineer. Residence on Fifth s:reet
PRESTON, WM.-Dealerin rJaddlerr, Har
ness, Carriago Trimmings, etc Willamette
street between Seventh and Eighth.
POST OFFICE-A new stock of standard
school books just received at the post oflice.
RUSH. BEN. Horseshoeing and general job
bing blacksmith, Eighth street, between Wil
lamette aud Olive.
REAM, J. R. -Undertaker and building con
tractor, corner Willamette and Seventh
streets. , .
ROSENBLATT 4 C0.-4)ry goods, clothing,
groceries ami general merrhandiKe, southwest
corner Willamette and Eighth street.
ST. CHARLES HOTEL Mrs. A. . Ren
frew, Proprietress. The best Hotel In the
city. Corner Willamette and Ninth, streets.
SHIELDS, ,i C Physician and Snrgeon
north side Ninth street, first door east bf St
Charles Hotel
STEVENS, MARK-Dealer In tobacco; ci
gars, noU, ciindies, shot, powder, notions,
etc Willamette street
SCHOOL SUPPLIES-A large and varied
assortment of slates of all sires, and quantities
of elates and slate-books. Three doors north
of the express office.
THOMPSON & BEAN-Attomevs-at Law-
Willamette street, between Seventh and
Eighth. ....
WALTON,' J. j.-Attorney-at-Law. Office
Willamette street, between Seventh and
Eighth.
WITTER, J. T. Buckskin dressm?. The
highest price paid for deer skins, Eighth st,
at Bridge.
UNDERWOOD, J. B.-neneral brokerage
business and agent for the Connecticut In
surance Company of Hartford -Willamette
street, between Seventh and Eighth.
ELLSWORTH CO.,
DRUGGIST,
l if ILL CONTINUE THE BUSINESS m
IT all it branches at the ohl stand, oUVrintf
increaaed inducements to cu.toniers, old and
new. As heretofore, the most
Careful attention given to Prescripts.
ALFRED ISLEU
Has taken posvWoa el tne
Luckey Livery Stable,
And will earrr cb a
GENERAL LIVERY BUSLNESS. ,
Hones fed and boarded by the week er day. j
JTOR3F3 AND BUGGTM FOR HIRE. !
Shameful VTirk.
Whenever a murder occur in the
Soinh it i the custom of Republican
papeYi in ibe North U make it public
in an us gnasuy horrors and then
comment tipnn the insecurity nf til',
in that eoiion, and ihui try to mnnu
tacture a little cheap political canital.
This U very cowardly conduct, but
it is the only way in the world that
the Uepui'licana can hopo lo curry
me next rnsulentiul election, lhey
tnust 'silr np sectional strife and get
the old war spirit aroused ot else go
to the wall. This movement on the
part ol i'iep'tjbltuans in general, as the
following circular shows. It has Vu
ceii'ij' linn circulated through all
i lie es which hold elections in Oc
tober:
STRICTLY COSriDBSTIAI.
To Ch airman
Republican Central Committee ot
County.
Now that the campaign for the
year is about to npen we deem it ad
vixable te make a lew important sur
ueotions lor th management oi the
name in vour county. It if, doubt-
less, true of your countv as well as
other counties of the State that in
order lor us to insure success it is
necessary that some means should be
devised lo divert the attention of the
people ircm the so called financial is
sues ot the dav. The perpetuity ol
the Union should be made the ''issue"
Hie rebellious altitude ol the South
and the late utterances of their Brig
adiers in Congress Vill fnniuli suf
ficient excuse lor bringing this issue
si; in to the front. It we can divert
the attention et the people trom lids
"financial craze" and nruih an use the
old feeling of '04, we can carry the
Slate by an evorwhelniiujr majority.
As a most potent means of effecting
this much desired change fn public
opinion we surest the organization
ot thu Union League in every town
ship in your c uuty. This will
arouse the old feeling, and besides
"obligate" every hiembet to v te 011 r
ticket. It you desire help in fleet
ing your organization. It is In liter
suggested that your county papers
and speakers drop the "finance ques
tion as indicated above.
"Surimparilla."
From the Detroit Free Press.
Yesterday alletnoon a red faced
young man belonging to an excursion
partv called into a Woodward avenue
drug store and softly asked the soda
(ouulsin boy it he was out ot any
kind of syiup. The boy made an in
vestigation and replied:
"We are out ot sarsaparillo, but "
"That's all right all right you
wait a minute," interrupted the young
man and away he went.
The brv took the emDlv reservoir
from the fountain and replaced id
and in about two minutes the young
man returned in company with his
girl and four 01 her people, evideo ly
alHrieuds. Walking up to the foutt
tain ho snid: ' Tin going to take snr
Bttparilla in mine, tor the doctors all
recommend it, ami II he hasn l sarsa
paiilla I won't lake nothing. What
lo you say?"
"Oh, we II take tho same," fiey re
plied. The vounr man beeati to smile,
and his Ml eye began to draw down,
but What was his horror to see the
boy drow off six glasses in succession
and push them to tho front, where
ibeV were ta'erlv drained of their
- J a
contents! He tried to give the boy
a look ot mingled bate murderous in
tent: but tho lad was too busy to see
it; He felt in all his pockets,
brought up watchkeys, pennies, and
peanuts and finally laid down twenty
seven cents rind whispered to tl e boy,
"That takes my pile, and it ever I
catch you outside ot town, I'll lick
you to death!"
1 Chatter on Flies.
You can sometimes catch a base
ball on a fly The Latin name for a
certain kind of fly Is Tempus fugit.
The fly is an author. See ''flies on
horses." Yon can always, at this
M a on of tho year, find flies on toast
at the restaurants. Flies are always
on band early in the morning. You
have all se n a kite fly. Longlellow
speaks of a fly a a bird, when he
. ''fly, proud bird of freedom."
S.-iinf pe pie employ the blind to
ke p (lies from thu r otn. You can
draw a fly with drop of molasrs
Inner thsn with a crsyon. The
spider is the only creature Which in
vites the fly to its pirlor. flies are
like rivers. They are often damned.
Stsge flies are psinted. A fly is con
servative in his reading; ho always
sticks to his own paper. Tbre are
musical flies. People often speak of
that base fly.
Wheat Fi.kt. It is announced
tha no If than 80 ships are coming
to the Columbia river this season to
remove to England the surplus wheat
crop 01 urrj.is anu iuni;iog
Territory. Most of tbem will bej
loaded id Portland.
STATE NEWN.
Wheat 45$ at Weston.
Wallowa red fish are sold at Pen
dleton.
Wheat is plentiful at 79 cent at
independence, rolk county.
1. . .. . .
aomo Aibunv Hunters have just
returned, having killed about 55 deer.
Some one stole horse trom Lay-
ton emu tn ol Iii'lependeiice on bun
day.
Albany will give the use of a $20,-
uuo twins mill to any one who will
run it.
But five papers liave signed the
call for the Publisher's Union to be
held on the 28th at Union county
Fair.
Gen. W. II. OJell, says the Merou
ry, editor ot the Statesman, has re
ceived A snrvevmir ontraot the re
ward of fuithfal p'irly survices.
McMinnvi'.le Reporter: There aro
probably in tht neighborhood of 150,
000 bushels of grain on storage in the
three warehouses at this place, and
tho hauliag season has barely gotten
under way. "
A man named Simpkins, who re
tnsed to" work on Sunday tor Mr. La
son, at Wheatland, Yamhill county,
was knocked over by tho latter with
a club in 1 hglit, Mmpkms has hud
Lason bound over in $100,
Farmers in the North Yamhill sec
tion aro winding up harvest work, and
are agreeably surprised at the turn out
of their crops. '1 he ruBt was fur less
damagin;' to spring grain than was
irsnerully calculated Wore harvest.
Pendleton has a cripple named
Jimmy Garden, whose heart was
made glad last week by the kind
hearted people of that place present
ing Mm with a buggy. Charity of
this kind reaches fur toward heaven!
The Lake vis w Herald says: An
excellent yi Id ot Cuts is throughout
iho Valley. Butter is yery soiree and
eggs are not to be bad at uny price.
A number of new residences and bus
iness houses are beine erected in
Lakeview.
The Albany Democrat says: The
faindUs miner,! springs al Sodaville
are fust increasing in popularity, and
invalids are tlockin? there from all
quarters. Nearly all reivivo great
benefit iron) drinking of us health
giving waters, and the spring needs
00 other recommendation.
It is rumored on obr streets; cays
tho Pendleton Independent, that the
O. S. N. Co. have removed their
wharf boat from Umatilla landing',
and hereafter intend to ship freight
lor points over the Blue Mountains to
llieir Blue JVIouumiu railroad depot, a
few milts north of Weston.
President B. F. Arnold, of the
Slate Agricultural College, has been
elected to deliver lliu annual addreis
before the Slate Agricultural Society
luring the (sir week, at Salem. his
is a good selection, and President Ar
nold will deliver a most able and
practical address oh that occasion.
The Astoriiin characterises as false
tho Statement made in the newspa
pers l lint tlie route of Iho Winnemiic-
ca railroad 10m Forest Grove to As
toria is iinprsjmiciilile. Unit paper
says no report has been made by the
party in the lie d, Lut that the route
is undoubtedly praciicible and that
the road will be built.
The United Brethren in Christ will
hold a camp meeting and annual con
ference or. W ild Horse creek, near
Cent jrville, Umatilla county, Oregon,
beginning Oct, 10, 1 89. It is
thought that il the weather continue
(avorable it will be the largest religi
ous meeting eVer held east of the
Cascades. Bis) op CasiIu will bo pres
ent to labor in the camp meelin(, aud
will preside over the conference.
Where do Hie r tomii from.
This is a Question a ked by the
New York correspondent ot t'le
Philadelphia Ledger in reference to
the Chinese, who are rapidly multi
plying in the former city and its
neighborhood. He says:
"Il is supposed that many of these
Chinese, within the past Summer,
have come from California under an
apprehension that the new Constitu
tion ol. that Stsle is to be enforced 1
against them; but if that bo so, the
mystery how they came here still re
mains to be solved, as the Pacific
Railroad people assert that they
would rather walk iM tho way on
loot than pay the fare."
In New York, Iloboken and Jer
sey City these people are going into
all occupations which they conduct
in San Fiaocisc", and re crowdir g
out the while working people, as cu
al. The question ol "Where do they
come from?" will soon bo changed tc
"How shall ve gel rid of them?'
When it comes lo that the New
Yorkers will probably .change their
views as to tho desirability of Chinese
imniigntio' .
Pinner Table Etiquette.
Numerous applications having been
made asking us to fix a set of rules
for table etiquette, we accordingly
lespond with pleasure.
1. It is proper to place your napkin
so that the gravy may not fall on
your shirt front. When you afo
through you can ram it down be
tween yonr shirts, and if nobody is
looking you win a napkin.
2. On do consideration wipe your
nose 011 your napkin. Tho table cloth
was made for this pfirposo.
3. 1 1 is uot considered proper. Vo
place your butter on the riuge of the
plate. If small plates are not provid
ed, wipe your knifu oft' on your head.
What ia left will do tor hair oil. ,
4. Eat only with your fork. Never
place your kufe in your mouth. Wo
know a man who once cut his month
around lo wl.ere he patted his hair,
by violating this tule.
5. Never pour your tea into tua
Buucer. It spoils it, and beside, some
body may steal it when you'ro not
looking. Well made tea is a very
enervating drink, but most women
make water, and very weak water at
that, and it is additionally weakened
by pouring it into the saucer.
6. It you get a piece of hot meat in
your month, do not spit it in your
plate. Take it in your hand and
slide it down your neighbor's back.
It ho 6' jects, punch mm in the nose.
7. lu silling down in your chair,
make believe somebody has placed a
pin on il. Then you can jump, yoll
and kick half the d ishes oft the table.
This produces a very Hue efleot you
are pitted, and can eat your dinner in
peace, as all the children are generally
spanked and sent to bed for puttibg
the pin where it wasn't.
8. Don't mistake the contents of
tho iiuger glasses for leaotiade unless
you first put a small amount of sugar
111 it.
9. It you get a mouthful of hot tea
squirt it through your teeth, and then
tell the company ti nt that's the way
they spriakls clothes in the Chinese
laundries. They will thin thick that
you have traveledand probably
wish that you may do so some more.
10. II it is warm, ask the prettiest
young lady at the table if Bhe sweats.
Under no circumstances use the word
"prespire." If alio blushes, tell her
her face looks like raw ham. This
will make the people laugh, and you
will save a dentist's bill.
11. II anybody gets off a joke say,
"That's as old as the butter." This
will save tho expouse of 4 porter.
12. Ask the bald headed man of
tho company if. he was spun on his
hoad for drinks when he was 1 ttlo. In
the absence of a bald heudod man,
lurii the attention of all present to
tho toothless old woman by telling
her that you can get her a job in tho
postoffice gumming stamps, or in a
drug store biting holes in porous
plasters.
13. If your head itches, put on a
troubled look and scratch your head
thoughtfully. If anybody asks yon
what you are thinking of, say BUUS!
(iu capital leltors). This is sure to
create a laugh.
14. When, you pais a plate filled
with meat, lira vv aud potatoes, drod
itjuBi as the other party reaches for
it. Then aoolocize by saying yod
thought they ' had their grip on it."
Very funny effect.
Renders who carefully iollow the
above rules will gain the respect ,of
their fellow men die happy though
perhaps very young
New war lo eut Clan.
Many persons may not be aware
that glass can be cut under water with
esse to almost any shape by simply
using a pair et shears or strong scis
sors. In order to insure suocess two
points
rnurt be attended to. First,
and most important, the glass must
be kept quite level in iho water wbilo,
the scissors are applied; and, second.,
ly, lo avoid risk it is better lo begin.
Ihe cutting by taking off small pieces(
at the corners and along the edges,
and so reduce the shape gradually to
that required, as if any attempt ie.
made to cut tho glass all at once lo
the shape as we should eut a piece ot
cardboard, it will most likely break
just where it is not wanted, some
kinds of glass cut much belter man.
others, the softer glasses being , the.
best tor this purpose. The scissors
oeed not be al all iharp, as their ac
tion does not appear lo depend on
the stale oi the edge presumed to the
glsss. When the operation goee on '
well the glass breaks away from the
scissoit in small pieces in a straight 1
line with the blades. This method of
cutting gloss has often been ot ser-,
vice w hen a diamond has not been
at band , tor cutting ovals and teg;
mm ts, and, though the edges are not
so smooth as might be desired for
seme purposes, yet it will answer in
s great many cases. The two hints
given above, if strictly followed, will
always insure success. Ex.
The GcaBD isth best advertising medium
' in Ijine county.
ase'Jww