-ALL AUKRICASB."
BY GIOJPT llfHCIII.
- hv art nil Amtrievu hrrt."D. Kearnty.
All. all Americana? On.ao!
H ODMllJ. bU Id haa
Before thai bonorsd nam we bow
" Trua bora Amrricao."
Children of aire wboee heart and brain
Oa freedom'e altar laid,
Forer broke the deapol's chain,
And tyrants fell dUmayad.
guob birthright rrand wa may not claim,
Nor dim iu iiuHtr brlKbt:
ThPlr deaihlem herlUMje of fama
We mar boi, dare not alight.
The crafted branch, no doubt, looka fair,
To brlDg forth preclnm fruit.
Bin time' required era It compare
Witu Itie old native root.
- Allen In blood, we oft tlmee feel
The heed cao't wean the beart.
At hallowed meru'rlee o'er ua (teal;
That longing atroog Impart.
But, thoi through tacrine, wa learn
True loyally to prlie,
And thai great name, "American,"
Urowt aacred In our eye.
He Didn't Want a Coffln.
That Telf phone Office.
Last Wednesday tnorning, D. T. Nine,
the manager of Dun's Commercial Agen
cy, was sitting tranquilly at his desk in
the old Board of Trade building-, intent
upon the delicate task or reporting toe
financial and moral condition of our Pe
oria merchants. The east window was
open, and the gentle tephyra fanned his
cheek, bearing upon tueir wines uie
eweet odors of the Illinois river, mingled
with the fragrance of boiling hops, tar
and coal iraa. His Bathetic ear was
charmed with the harmonious combina
tion! of sounds peculiar to South Wash'
inctn street.
. Upon the floor above, the playful pat
ter nf children's feet, minded with the
atenrtv hum of a sewing machine, formed
a pleasant accompaniment.
The door opened.
"Good morning," said the visitor, a
Main street clothing man ; " can you tell
me where Bell s telephone omce is 7.
" Next floor," said Vine, ana resumea
his work.
A few minutes elapsed. The door again
nnonprl ami a supervisor came in.
"Siv, boss, where s mat teiepuoue oust
ness?'' , , .
" Next floor," placidly replied vine, as
h turned to his work airain. ana trieu 10
find where h left off.
" Mister, is the telephone office in this
building 7 "said a timid voice neionging
to a newsDaoer reporter. (You have
probably noticed that reporters are at
ways tiuiid. J
" Yna 11 n atairs."
A (rain all was still, but for the scratch-
He came into the office of a West End
ndartaker the other day with a look of
great care on his honest face. His eyes
were heavy and slightly bloodshot, tell
ing ol nightly vigils and loss of sleep.
His hair was unkempt and shaggy. The
soft-hearted man of coffins looked upon
his visitor with a gaze full of pity and
thankfulltvss-pity for the customer's loss
'w"as iSyinSta bu Kdtbe loss i"g of Vine'- pen. the uld sid were.
5?,7. nf h. death. n switch engines on W ater street, and leM TJ,ere mu g drea(1 in
W,,"B1' Z"r-lrZ. t hnrial coses nod- the rumble or about seventy-nye waxum.
ded a snent ant and condoling recog- on the stone pavement in front 01 tne oi-
nition ; the young man .ro ... m. . . about t-me t0 gi .
and he sighed. Nona of your gentle,
persuasive, inaudible sighs, but a sigu
that broke off two vest buttons and al
moot loosened a front tooth. A voice
aHilrpHHAfl him :
" l'ardon me, sir, but will you please tell
me "
.1 . . a l t.l lilt f.hnutlt.
.6Xl noor, BU1U line, jfuuonj,
frozen smile ; and he took up his pen and
proceeded to tacklo another unfortunate
merchant.
Door ooens very slowly to the soft
music of the hinges.
" In this-"
"Third floorl" yelled Vine. "Suffering
Moses! how many more times have I got
to"
Another visitor school inspector with
a bushv head of hair" Where ti this
t1
Vine reached for his double barrelled
" Abont what do you want tho cost of shot gun, and took up his station at the one and inseparable-just as our forefuth-
tbecoHin to be?" door. , , ere made it just as our uay preserved it
"Don't care for expense; get it up I "tan you tell me' Began a country m me compromise measure 01 isoo, wnen
I'll irent hor handsum. cause I centlenian. with a bald head and a benev- he said: "I mav be asked, as I have
aiuun .... 1 . u : ..,, tk.
said, - How d'ye do? " Then ensued a
.inTui .1 him. nroaen at iciuui uj i
fjctu,,ui ' ;
AfftHvi hnsinpfia.
" Can I do anythiug for you to-day
air?"
" Well. I reckon, so, stranger ! "
Another silence. Once more the un
dertaker began by suggesting : Your
sister?"
Young man stared a moment, then, as
a lieht gradually broke in upon his per
plexed mind, he smiled more suggestive
of sorrow than happiness, and replied:
"No mv wife."
"Sudden?" , iL
" No expected su tbum of tho kind for
several months."
"When did it happen?"
" 'Bout four o'clock this morning.'
"Looks natural?"
"Rather." (Spoken carefully and ex
pressive of some doubt.)
1 Patriotic Plea.
Interview with Col. T. T. Crittenden, of War
rentburg.1
Andrew Johnson, then a refuges at
Camp Dick Robinson, near Danville, Ky.,
came to Lexington, Ky., in the summer
of 1861 to make a speech against the evils
of secession. It had been announced for
days preceding that the speech would be
made at the Opera House. The city was
tilled with cultivated and elite citizens of
that unsurpassed country.' John Morgan,
the famous raider, was then organizing
his regiment at Islington. The secession
spirit was wild with anticipated success of
its cause. At tne appointed hour the up
era House was crowded almost to suffoca
tion with ladies and gentlemen with
those clinging to the tmon with unshak
en affection, with those undecided where
to cast their lot, with those filled with the
idea of a new government and a new or
der of things. Mr. Johnson entered the
hall from the front, accompanied by a
few friends, looking every inch a man
He was then in the prime oflifcand beau
ty of a well-developed manhood, like Paul
of old, stood ready to offer np bis life in
defense of the hope and faith that pos
sessed him. As he entered the bouse a
shout went up from friend and foe, be
cause all aw at once iu the man
that wonderful power and magnet
ism which made him the pride of
Tennessee and the acknowledged friend
of the people. There was something grand
in every step that he took. Threats bad
been made on the streets of the city that
day by young rebel spirits that Mr. John
son should not deliver a Union speech on
that occasion ; others declared that lie
armed more 01
the minds of
the more prudent of both sides that a
"bloody drama" was imminent. Mr.
Johnson saw at once the danger surround
ing the occasion, and with a masterly
stroke quickly qureted the surging, ex
cited throng of people, with the following
happy introduction: "1 stand to-day a
refugee from home, from my adopted
State, in whose councils I have stood as a
tribute of tne people, from my loved wife
and children, and have sought a tempor
ary home in the grand old Mate or Ken
tucky. in the historic city of ex
inuton, under the shadow of that
monument which stands in memo-
nam or the eraiuiest man tne world
ever saw I Kentucky was the fit home of
a Clay, and Clay was the true representa
tive or such a state. .Monuments at mar-
bel are not necessary to perpetuate their
glory. They are a part of the history of
our comiron country, and win oniy o
forgotten when we fellow-citizens shall
foreet the glory of that country. I am
here to speak in behalf of that country
Marriage.
1 Terrible Pest
drain Protlott of iorope.
vrvr AND DANGEBOrS SRA8S IMPORTED
IBOX THI SaST, THBIVISO.
The average grain product of Eumn.
reported at 6,000,000,000 bushel- of .ft"
Russia raises one-third, France 1 and ? h
many 520,000.000 bushels eath
Austria 500.000.000. Th itJTJ T'.D(1
produces l.OOO.Ouo.onn h....i. OM'e
quantity that Russia due. l .h
-aAa orhich am now eausinir portion to the population i m.i.' . P"
many ,. ...-,, " ' I ,L,. l larger
We desire to call the attention of our
readers to the recent introduction or a
terrible agricultural pest. It is a grass
that is as injurious as the most or the
npro.
trouble to our agriculturists. This grass
U comparatively unknown to Western
production than any otl,r
L ,, .
uoasi 01.
Counting our inhabitants1.?
re ran n J. ..... . "" at
Correspondenca Detroit Free Pre.
Many a young lady thinks because she
bas bad an advantageous offer of marriage
she ought to accept it, She "doesn't love
him, but she respects mm," and she bas
been advised byber friends that "it is
better to marry a man yon respect and
learn to love him, thin to marry a man
you love and learn to hate him." She has
had this dinned into her ears as many
times as she is days old nearly, and almost
learns to think that hating a man is a
natural sequence
well : one should
it does not take
I ahmiU nraroilea acll a follow maU T. ,kol.l In lha nDi-serv narkinff. I consumed ueinif ffenerallv IM u.i
nmony. cut euppose suosequeni. 10 mar- W,ich imported the tanaaa tnisiie to our Fiuuute neariy wree times
riarrA it !a a m a If m n Pfl fur thn first time in a I Tkia mu hn taken rnnt in I much as we want. Russia n..ri
wife, what then? If you don't love, don't tDree pi'aceg 0t least in the city of Bloom- much as she needs, and Great Britain J?
The connubial yoke sets easy in Mneton, and our readers cm see it lor '""" "no jourtn or her requirement
in tne 1 iuuo een mat the orvlii,..:
people, but is a dreadful pest to farmers 40,0)0,000, we can raise j bushed
in the Kastern States, many of whom bead, and Europe's inhabiUnU at 3(
' per
Mill .
or love. Kespeci is very have found it one or the mam causes or "w, ws out jo busliels per U,.
have that any way, but the poor crops they raised before emi- Russia has 20 and Great Britain nni .
the place of affection, crratin?. Its roou have been brought pusneis per head. Ihe amount r,f .
m woll aa fdllnw mat- I P l.l.l., in ).. nnrwr nurt incr I Consumed beimr epnpmll. -. i. L ,6'a.n
1 UniUOUl, lit - ' J I . CJ JU UUhn a
per
as
marrv.
the shoulders of love, but it is most gall
themselves with little trouble.
n .iihniillhii mnA nn I v an ffiifnt Kll t. I . ... ,.rf.' T fMionov' irit anil I fair exceeds the l-Onanmatinn 1... .. Q
UK -,,VMWUfc kll IU v ... j - -r I COSI CUVO Ui I'll. ' " 1 . . . wuf UU t IIA .
. . . , a . in AnVinn . 1 1 iL. l.a ... n n Mn rPM H I)Uil 1 HIT I
jwru a uiuu u urei. i.cvcebi.t iu ivv,.,, preuy generally on iuo .u wjuihiujuu -- - . una aistillerip
far a wifn U tn find naecheerful. one who ih wall aa at the corner of Locust I at home and abroad, whi.h ., 3
and Lee streets, near the residence of W. any other cause, keep up the orir r
and sister ; but above all, one who is phys- u. powers, may be seen rank specimens preaostuns. A. 1. Ttmet.
ically able to support tne cares ana amies 0r this grass. iSesides tuese paicnes,
which attend that position. Does the there are a faw roots in the west side of
vouna ladv who is too weak to sweep her Mr. Abraham Brokaw's garden, and a
own room, do her own work and sewing, verr healthy plot in the street in front of
think that any sensible young man is go- tne game. iTobaoiy mere are omer in
ini? to ask her to be his wife? Some fecund places in the city, and perhaps
young men who are not sensible way, but many more upon our farms.
what a broken reeu sne win ie 10 ican
He Got a Check.
He wasn't a man who cnnhl k .
with tramps, but vet hs ... .Vm" .M
tidy and dead bro'ke. You seT 'aT.
a ViriSWOIll Btr...
man," be explained to
This nest has a foothold at Galena, III., lawyer. "I come of an pr,.n... ,
t.a-D nuiu uiamonusaiid broadcloth ami
am in mv present fli aimni k ' uu
latter place, and now it has ruined the father wouldn't let me wed fho,-,i ft7
gardenaofa large area. and I ran away. I have conclude i t!
Ihe grass is commonly Known oy a return to him and ask his fon?in.
great variety of names, among which are marry the heiress he has nicked r
.. k :,..l. t.it,.h nnor l- dvil'a Ana m f ,1 nl. i. "clle? OUt for
Cliandler and witch grass" are the most I return to Troy I will forwani
common. In lint's "Ureases and riants ter diamond pin as a present "Th-f. TiT-
we find this : "JVifieuw reixn. The chief style of a clothes-pin I am l""
generic marks of this grass are three or The lawyer sat right down and wmt
several liowered spikelets compressed, him a check for five dollar n,i iz.
with the flat side towards the rachis ; wouldn't even let the ronentnnt
an Irs for it v t
lower patea like the glumes convex on could do a fellow-man a good turn he w
the back; awued from the tip upper flat- only too glad to do so. What was lif
tened; stamens three, mostly annuals, worth living for but for ite chances tn
but otuor are perennials; to which the make others happy?
couch grass belongs. The specific char- "Just so Heaven bless you-Iook nut
actersof couch grass are, roots creeping for the diamond pin," said the youn? man
extensively, stem erect, round, smooth, as he left the office for the bank,
from one to two or two and a half feet in One minute before hn nrotot.i .t
height, striated, having five or six flat check he was all smiles. One ainuta
leaves with smooth striated sheaths; the after the cashier had had tha tun.. !
joints are smooth, the two uppermost voice was heard saving:
very remote, leaves aara green acuie, lorn uoiiins! Who in blazes is Tom
upper one broader than the lower one, Collins? He has no money here ! You'd
in It.a rirat nnfl I SVCr had."
" Verv well, my friend ; you'll have it
lined with white satin, I suppose?"
srppose ? "
stranger,
"Jimt as you say, stranger.
"Silver-headed screws' too. I s
Y.n.n-a. 1 s'nose so. An ,
jest put a bully top to t.
"Of course; andvou'll want a glass in
it, also, I Biipnose? '
"Y-a-a-s-Oh, cortalnly you bet. Git
hot up sniptious, you know, old fellow.
None of your dratted one-boss flxins for
uie. No, siree."
"Just bo. Silver handles of course?"
" Eh ! What's thet you say, stranger
silver handles? Oh, durn it, now, won't
that be pilin' it on too hefty like? I kin
stand silver scrows and sich, but there s
no use makiu' the bull tarnation trap of
silver. The thing has to be moved and
must have handles, but I ain't quite so
stuck up as thet now not quite,
stranger."
" Very well, acquiesced the man or oh
sequin, " I'll put ordinury handles on It,
then."
" Kggs-actly them's 'oin mister; now
yortalkin.' Ord'narv handWII do. Hut
I say, stranger, (relloctivoly) make the
wheels glisten like thunder'
"Wh-wh-wheels?"
"Yes, wheels. What's ther mutter with
yon, anyhow?"
"Hut whoever hoard of wheels to a
coffin ? " , , ,
" Collin ! " shrieked the dejected-looking
young man. " Coffin ? Now, who the
dickens said anything about coffins?"
" Why, don't you want a coffin ? "
" No o 1 I want a cradle a trap to 'rock
my new baby in."
" And isn't vour wife dead?"
" Not by a jimfull. Don't you make
cradles for sale?"
" No, my friend. I am an undertaker.
' Undertaker of what?"
" 1 niiike coffins."
"Oh, Lord, let me catch that feller that
sent me here."
And the grief-stricken youth crammed
his hat ever his eyes, ran his hands deep
down in tho pockets of his trousers, and
pounced out on the street, searching for
vengeance.
f eatness In Farming.
"Order "is said, to be "heaven's first
law," and neatness is nearly allied to it,
so it may be safe to conclude that if a
man is orderly on the farm, he -is also
neat. This idea of neatness In working
in the dirt and filth seems paradoxical
at first, but tidiness and beauty spring
from the earth in the form of flowers, and
the variagated landscape. A nice writer
on this topic says:
Nothing gives evldonce of thrift and
enterprise in farming better than keeping
everything iu order. There are tunes
when even the mot painstaking men
are compelled to let things go somewhat
at loose ends, but upon the first occasion
of spare time and due diligence thereafter,
the wonted appearance of things about
t lie premises returns. At the corn of a lit
tle tiuie and labor when required, an ap
pearance of an untidy farm inuy be so
improved as to add considerably to its
value, and the price obtained in the
event of its sale. The contrast between
neat and slovenly kept larms represents
more in a pecniuiary point of view, very
often, than is generally supposed. Take
a farm which by its appearance shows
clear culture, from which stumps and
bushes have been removed, the buildinjrs
kept in repair, the fences and gates in
order, the rubbish kept from the road
side and fence corner, the tools houed
w hen not in use and the stock exhibiting
evidences of good care and attention, and
in the event of its purchase it w ill bring
relatively much more than one equally
fertile, but kept iu sunnily way. Uody
fields, tumble. )n fence gutm, g.iie witu
broken hinges buildings out of repiiir,
implements scattered alxmt h inrni
where uned last, rubbish ever) where, and
Inferior looking slock, take fruin s urn
naturally fertile a good round sum in the
event of a sale.
olent countenance, pushing past tne
school inspector.
"No. sir: I can't toll! I won't toll!'
auid vine. " I wish Bell's telephone was
sunk ten thousand feet iu the strongest
kind of a sulphur well I I'm not paid to
direct folks to that office, and I'll be ever-
limtimrlv "
"Can you tell me anything," persisted
tha Imt nnmor. "about Street, talker &
Doolittle! I want to obtain someinfor
motion ahnnt tham."
' You didn't want to ask about the tele
phone?"
" No."
"(Vimn ill. sir."
The gun was put away, and Vine imme'
been asked, when I am for the dissolution
of this Union. I answer, never 1 never!!
never!!!" So say I, mv countrymen! .May
I. Kentuckians. the frieuds, neighbors
and constituents of such a man, give my
reasons to-dav why this Inion should be
preserved, why war, the last alternative of
civilization, should be avoiueu : ouaii i
be heard for my cause, even by the brave
and gallant men who are to-day putting
on the harness of war under an excite
ment that will yet make many homes
deanlatn. make mimv hearts weeo over
stricken loved ones! llravemen are brave
on all occasions ; no more afraid of free
speech than of free combat. Cowards
suppress the one and flee from the other!
outside of bis door
telephone office ! "
Stroke of Genius.
dintelv fastened a large placard on the Shall I be heard?" At this point Col.
. r ... , . ii a'L. :.. i- VT 1. n I m , , , i . . : . .1
xuia is iiii mo 1 jom Jjuiora. wno nau juti ntjsassinaieu
Judge Llliott at iranktort, Ky., moved
from his seat to the uisle facing the
speaker, and said : "Go on, Mr. Johnson,
vou shall no beard to-uay in benan oi tne
ITniAn k antiif-lMnna IriVA a hrjlVA niun
Tin Other (inV a mUSCUlUr VUUUK 111- Uaravar rnnrwl am nm BP Kll CI num.
low, having an odor of tho stables about stances." Suffice to sav that the elo-
him. entered a Detroit photographers aence 0fthe orator and the response of
establishment and expiainuu .uiu no the auditor abated all uneasiness in the
would like to CCt about one photograph mimU nf tha fair wnmen and hrnvn men.
taken, but on learning the price, be con- j tDe crowj listened with eagerness to
eluded to invest in a tin-type. Alter t10 vm 0f ti,e great natural orator for
have ever been made. It was enough
within itself to have immortalized him
It was a grand plea for peace, harmony,
taking his seat in the chair, he shut up more than two hours. Few such speeches
one eye, urew ins muuiu nruum. uu
side, stuck up his noso, and patiently
waited for tho operator, whose astonish
ment caused him to exclaim :
" Good gracious ! but you don't want to
look that way to get a picture. Nobody
will know you from Sitting Hull."
" You go ahead," was the reply.
" Do you want me to take such a phiz as
that?"
" 1 do."
The artist took it. It boat Sol Smith
Russel all to pieces, and was highly satis
actory to the sitter, who paid for it and
aid:
" You soo. I had a sort of object in this.
Come clear here from Allegan county, six
months ago engaged to a gal out there
found a gal here 1 like better got to
sever old lies see?"
" Hut what has that picture got to do
with old ties ? " asked tho artist.
" Lots heaps ! I've writ to her that I
blown ud hero on a boat and dis-
noon when misfortune or trouble comes, and at Mineral Point. Wisconsin. Ten have worn diamnnda n,i k . .. im"i'.
Noting men are fast learning wisdom, and years aco it only occupied one spot at the am in my present fix simnlv 80(1
find lindinir that a pretty face and form latter nlace. and now it has ruined the father wouldn't let mn uo.i v..-. J."'
and showy accomplishment do not make
the coming wife. Girls are fast learning
it too, and show their willingness to learn
by the large attendance at the cooking
and sewing schools of the Eastern cities.
Many
WEALTHY VOISO LADIES
Serve an apprenticeship in both millinery
and dressmaking and make their own
dresses and bonnets. The better educated
they are in different branches, the better
taste and common sense tney onng 10
bear on the particular branch tbey wi6h
to excel in. Did any of you ever notice
the difference between the educated, and
uneducated housekeeper? The one brings
all her intelligence to bear upon her
work, the other works with a stolidness
that betravs her sluzzish brain. If al
servant girls were educated, one would
save money even at a higher rate of wages
than to employ uneducated women.
Each human beine would thrive best
under the fullest culture and liberty to
trrow." Some cirls iil not marry a me
chanic. I think a man of large body and
brain, honest and industrious, is much to
be preferred to a kid-gloved young man
who sports a cane, mustache, nobby suit
of clothes and nothing else. A girl
might better take to her affections a cal
lous-handed, industrious mechanic, hop
ing, with study and her aid, he might
make his wav up to be a designer or man
ufacturer, as the years passed by. What wirv roots, which can scarcely be killed
too, impedes marriage, is uio vaimy oi (jutting them naraiy cnecss ineir growtn, reiatej jn rear(1 to M. j,";:
vnnnir mpn. Thev. aa muni as ina eir s. i onmuni rather tn mnitin v tne Plants. .j u , . "
want to "live in style." "No man can 7 a wet weather they thrive wonderi !lp" t"0
serve two masters." and the noble, loving fuy under cultivation. In plowed land V antt.JS: ZJ?B'r
gin must sianu one siue unioveu, wuiie
the young man worships the pocket-book
and waits for the bank account to
lengthen. They yearly spend as much on
i ; I.I I .t wr. .!
dress and ineir private luxuries as wouiu thn exclusion ot otner grasses. e win i j j ,. , - t . -
comfortably support two in a cozy, cheery not attempt here to give a full list of the doming alonir at a f rious Zp , . h.
home. The world is full of bright, fine- pernicious qualities of this pest, but will SKat
looking, educated, industrious girls, who 1., that some steps be taken for its ItufllsS? ly was. much
can dress on $100 a year, and "who would extirpation. Should it bo allowed to .ilher Wie" i crash of thnndprid
ha a. Inithfnl a. Panlnnn and lnv a l-nt. .... WiU nN:nu and henma .a ..U1 Der. wuel a Crasll Of thunder 8tarted
" u, : i-uzztiz v."? on tbe fun run. Mr. Bacon
lilUU B1 UCICI WUCCH IVIlU l'n"".V wu I U IU II HI VCOOICJII lUltUIUCn. tUU .lnar,n,l .AA. 4 a a. irt -
the isma world is full of men who attend v.h.a nf r frtil furms will be reduced i ..?" .L F"1' . A. emn? m or
.!.-, lr.- lht .ftpr nicht amnl-. u " " :n: t Jtl.. W ,o t . " .Dc"?u " "aOlt and enVOl
"reiirem uiu"" ,iiSuii ua.v. ...a,..-, UV HIUIIV UJlllluua Ui uuimm. no hid a onpdi hpr head in ila i nilim, f,.l.l. I
costly cigars, drive a fast horse, belong to 1, to' t practical means fo, the -H .hB Si &
club, but "can t anord "Btamn ni? out" of this terrible Pest, but : ' .v
..! nnr rendpra that some stens T " iuipu.i,
should be taken to protect ourselves from
the evil effects of this plant. If its roots
are dried and burned, they may beeffectu
ally killed, and this is hardly practicable
except upon a small scaie. tv e are in an
agricultural country whose future impo
tance will depend largely upon its present
treatment. Drainage and tne prevention
of noxious plants are matters of great
public interest.
roiighisb, sometimes hairy on the inner
surface, smooth on tne lower nan. in
florescence in spikes, flowers in June and
July. Introduced trom Europe. " " "
Its long creeoinz roots, branching in
every direction, take complete possession
of the soil and impoverish it."
from tne description a ooian . win announced, was a remarkable horseman
readily recognize the grass in question. I and hfa co,ne8a and coS jn to2t
is propagated chiefly by its tough and related to such matters we Zl L
II U ' - a . . . , " asuVfU
uv an ins irieiius. A innlling inc dent la
better jump out o' this or I'll haw.
tlie cooler iu about three minutes!"
A Plucky Act In Horsemanship.
The Boston Gazrtte savs ; Tha w.
Bacon, whose murder has recently been
this grass is worse than all other weeds, adhe qmckened his hoi
ASS1 1 rjr -it. in hVs of reaching home" befoTi!
" :. .-- suouui oreaa upon nun. At a short din.
una iicdv viiw in. v-. . r raniw irnm a'napa ha v.. n l ,
i r ti,a, ,,,0008 r.vi T. . " "no "a o'ervea
the boat and ball
to marry."
NEVER SINCE THE FLOOD
I have dated that back far enough to
avoid controversy as to dates have there
been better, more sensible, practical girls
than to day. They dress well, even hand
somelybut how, only the girls know.
They don't go around the world pleading
their poverty, their make-shifts, and I
honor them fur it. I detest these people
who are always groaning in spirit over
their poverty or misfortunes. Even the
daughters of wealthy parents who have
hardly had a wish ungratiued, marry
-- . , .... a i
heme and country. Subsequent history poor men and make the bravest, cneer
has fully verified his brave words. When lest little wives possible. V by? because
wna
figured for life. She's awful proud. When
ah vets this and sec how that explosion
recked mo. she'll hunt another lover
quicker'n wink see? How do you like
Uia plot? Just gate on this picture once
and tell me Mary Ann wou l send back
mv love letters bv the first train?"
lie posted the picture. The letter was
brief, hut explained it all. It said
" My Ewer Dear Girl : " I inclose my
nlckture that vou may see how offol bad I
was hurt, tho I know you will luv me just
the same.
" Ever see that eame before ? " he asked
of tho artist, as tie licked the stamp on
the letter.
" No never did
" Course yon never did. It's mine. It
atrnck me the other day while I was
rreasin' a wairon. and I think it's boss,
Illowed up see? Disfigured for life-
see? Picture right hereto prove it, and
she'll write back that she ha concluded
to vield to her parent' wishes and marry
a young man out here who owns seven
steers, a hundred sheep and an eighty
acre lot,"
The Kind of Coachman to OU
Tha annual reunion of tie Society of
the Kurneide Expedition and the inta
Army Corps will be held in Albany, on
Tueday,Juna 17th.
" Isabella, my dear," saich a rich gen
tleman on tho South Side to his eldest
daughter and housekeeper. " Isabella, iut
dear, 1 have engaged a new coachman. '
" Have you, pa ? " replied the mature, b n
beautiful girl; "what is his .mine?"
Herbert Montgomery," said his f.ilher.
Aim) all llitt evening tin lady went peril
tiling " I-otMU Montgomery," and Mr.
Ilerlw-rt Montgomery,'' and so oa over
her bloliing-Md. and she wenttoaleep Iu
dream thai Cupid, with a pair of blinkers
over his eye, smiled upon ber nay,
burot Into a'horse-iatigh while marriage
hells chimed in the distance, and Herbert
Montgomery underwent a transformation
acene into a Lord with f 400,000 a year.
And her wily father smiled, too, as he
sought hiscouch.for llerberl.Montgomery
is tifty-eight years old and has a wife and
seven children. deae Tnbune.
he said : " I am done. God bless Ken
tucky! God bless our whole land!" a
wild burst of annlause was beard from
that great mixed crowd of Union men and
Secessionists. Andrew Johnson entered
that hall a stranger and loft a hero.
Human Thorns.
There are certain disagreeable people
in this world who seem to take a apodal
delight in annoying others by reminding
them of things they would w illingly ror
get. They are tinman thorns, forever
torturing their fellow-men for the sake
of torture. Has a man mot with nusfor
tuno in his business, they are forever
recalling the fact. Has a man in times
that aro gone wandered into devious
paths they are forever reminding him of
it ny congratulating nun mm h is past.
Has a man blundered, they are forever
telling him what ' might have lieen.
When the Thorn is of the masculine gen
der. there in nno wav of petting relief.
Ho can tie knocked down anil taught
manners. hen the Thorn is of the fern
inine gender, the rase is different and not
so easily disponed of. But Cannenr hears
of one Bui'li scourge in petticoats who
got her deserts the other evening. It
was a little party where a score of people
were guthcred together. The Thorn sat
near a young man who, in days gono by,
had been guilty of follies that cont him
dearly. He had put them all behind
him. But the Thorn took occasion to
recall them in a snbdued and confiden
tial tone. Tho victim, who had been
subjected to the same torture before,
niKke np so that alt could hear.
"Madam." he said, "for fire years I
have been trying to forget all that. You
have been trying to remember it. lou
have Bneeeeded ltter tban I. I con
gratulate yon." The Thorn subsided.
Itottou Tfti iier ij(.
Man with broken nov " I want a man
arrested in the nulooa aror.ml the corner
fir jioiin.ling me." Police Sergeant
,iat kind of a locking man was uer
M. W. P. N. " A f Jiler with a base ball
mo lata, ho." P. S. " A lae ball mous
taei! What do vou mean by that?"
M. W. B. X.-Nin j n a aide."
A ace.lv-looking individual slopped
into one of onr gentlemen's f urniihing
.ores recently, and asked for a pair of
four-ply enffs. The articles were handed
him, and he examined them in a dubious
sort of way, and then remarked. "See
here. Throe aint the right thing; I want
the four-ply kind them that you can
tarn four times without washing. Uoa
ton Courier.
they married a man worthy of their
efforts. A German philosopher says that
in a society where the men are uneducated
and immoral, the women will be more so,
as women are what men make them, and
iu turn, men aro reacted upon by their
own molding of women. In that society,
continues the philosopher, where the
men are industrious and brain-developed,
the women are more sincere and reasona
ble. Therefore man may take his own
share of wrong in human affairs. An
other trouble is, "we marry too young."
This especially applies to the women por
tion of society. American men seem to
be infatuated to marry girls not out of
their teens. Before she has hardly real
ized her womanhood and is just begin
ning to learn the shades of life, she is
married; after that, as her naUre keeps
growing, his, to, they find much incom
patibility in their union. A woman
changes rapidly from twenty to twenty
five ; her ideas and opinions almost turn a
revolution and what satisfied her at
eighteen Is not at all to her taste at
twenty-five. If women married at twenty-
five and men at thirty, there wouiu oe
more happiness In the world, and the
nation would be given a new race of men
and women, stronger, physically and men
tally ; for all know that the stronger the
parents the better the race of children
Many marry for money. Sometimes one
is deceived; sometimes both; but these
are cold, loveless, of which both heartly
repent.
Wanted liimetklug Useless.
Gentlemen, whose wives, sisters, cons
ins and annts are strongly addicted to
the practice of making six or eight
Christmases a year by fanatical celebra
tion of birthdays, anniversaries or wel
dintrs. and other notable domestic
events, have been known, nndcr financial
pressure, to resort to the contemptible
subterfuge of offering presents, various
useful articles for household, table, or
personal use, which would naturally
come of themselves if there were no gift
offerings thought of. Sometimes the
family unanimonsly practice this little
game, and actually feel that common
necessities are somehow invested with
new value by the operation. But there
are others, doubtless, who look at the
practice in another light, and like the
little French girl would like a change oc-
raKionally. This young lady, it is re
lated, was in Uie habit or receiving irora
the prudent fattier every holiday a use
ful gift, like a dress, or a hat, or a pair
of fine boots. "Pa." finally said the lit
tle one, "my birthday comes next week.
If you love me and think I have been a
real good girl, you might give me some
thing that's use less. " i
Traveling at the Rate of Sixty Miles an
jioar.
One of the fastest trains in the world
is the Pennsylvania pay car of the New
York division, its schedule time being
sixty miles an hour. It takes only twenty-four
hours for the distribution of a
bundle of envelopes containing 8150,000.
In all 3700 railroad men are paid on this
division. The employes are notihed by
telegraph of the exact honr when the
train'will arrive. On the4homeward trip,
with a selected engine and a roadway
cleared of everything that could cause
either danger or delay, this tiny train,
composed of only an engine and a car,
often tests the capacity of steam power
after a fashion that would make a Mis
sissiimi steamboat captain uneasy. And
yet its accidents have been few. Once,
when it was tearing around a curve, it
struck a hand-car, and the frightened
train hands clambered down on the pi
lot, and saw what seemed to confirm
their worst fears. The front of the en
gine was tittered with clothing, lint a
careful search revealed nothing more
than clothing, and information that came
soon afterward told of the escape of the
laborers before their frail vehicle was
struck. Not long ago there were picked
un in one of the Trenton tunnels the
remains of a man who had, been
struck by a train, and was so mangled
that identification seemed lmiiossilile.
The corner of an envelop bearing his
name, which was found in bis clothing,
showod that he had been paid his salary
only three hours before. Just a month
ago, when the car was on its return trip,
the news came that the "four" had
struck a man on the New Brunswick
bridge. The man had leen warned that
it was coming, but said lie was a good
runner, and no doubt could get over the
bridge ahead of it. It is said to be an
actual fact that his body was thrown
fifty feet into the air. It" fell into the
river twenty feet below. On the engine,
at full speed, the motion is much less
perceptible than in the car. A car swings
sideways with more or less violence ; a
locomotive strains forward and seems to
"pound" downward on the forward
track. Express trains approaching with
the swiftness of the wind seem to be
standing still until they are alongside,
when they flash by with "a rear that only
lasts a second. Far away th landscape
moves in two distinct arcs, the farthest
object appearing to curve majestically
toward the track in front, while those
nearer the railway start away from be
fore the train and describe a graceful
line that brings them toward the track
again in the rear. The panorama bewil
ders the brain and tires the eye.
A man is raven mad when he gets block
is the face.
The storm was now terrible, wind, dust.
.1 1 I ll 1 . 1
uiuiiuer uuu iigutoing an at once : but
Mr. Bacon managed to guide himself
through the darkness directly beside the
young lady, and, while throwing his arm
firmly about her waist, shouted for her t
release ner root rrom the stirrup, snatched
her from the saddle, and held ber fast, in
a dead faint, by his side, w hile the mad
dened horse flew before the wind into the
city.
Cheap Girls.
A girl who makes herself too cheap is
one to be avoided. No young mannot
even the worst, except for a base purpose,
wants anything to do with a cheap young
woman. For a wife, none but a fool or a
rascal will approach such a woman. Cheap
ewelry nobody will touch if he can get
better. Cheap girls are nothing but
the refuse ; and the young men know it,
and they will look in every other direc
tion for a life-long friend and companion
before they will give a glance at a pinch
beck stuff that tinkles at every turn for
fascinating the eye of any that will look.
You think it is quite the " correct thing"
to talk fondly and coursely, be boisterous
and hoydenish in all public places; to
make yourself so bold and forward and
commonplace everywhere, that people
wonder if you ever had a mother, or a
home, or anything to do. So be it. You
will probably be taken for what you arc
worth, and one of thesB vears. if vou do
not make worse than a shipwreck of your-
seir, you will begin to wonder where me
charms are that once you thought your
self possessed of, and what could have so
possessed you. Go on. but remember,
cheap girls attract nobody but fools and
rascals.
Excerpti from Exchanges.
No quarter a twenty -cent piece.
Why is it they always make the fatte
man on the railroad a tpare conductor.
After all " musical dogs " are no nov
elty. They have always played a Jm
solo" ever since we can remember.
An nld ladv living in London county
V.. is the mother of 14 children, all li-
ing, whose ages range rrom to
n,.nnr fta-valnn nf Maine. tOOk
l.nra -rith rrrPflt Tiridp a Wa klM!-""
UVl.lV ' ..- - I ' , I
made of the wood of the "famous rew
ram Merrimack.
The other day the professor of 1
an... a.lo.1 in nnroerpnprato innior DSl
UIBU OJ.ttv. aaaa .. rv " '
Vy. nan.Ua rxt a oortain nnnn Was. tie
junior quickly replied, "I think it l;
neuter, sir, at any rate it is neu ter-me.
N. W. Blackman, of Huntington, wnii
out hunting, had his nose split open .'
the recoil of his gun. This is suppose,
to double his scent for game.
"A rural editor." in dcscn.i'g
omtorioof "Esther." heantifuL saja-
Tha dip.1 cTiT in delicious snno-
cation, like ono sii ging a Bwcct song v
derncath the bed c othes."
It i understood that General F ir P
rick M. Don-all, who leaves Canada ca tot i
27th instant, goes to England to
military conncil about to be held by "
Imperul Government to consider P
posed changes in tha British military J
a.