The For Seal Islaids of Alaska.
The Alaska Commercial Company's
n steamer . J aiu leu ban trancisco
on the 8th inst. on lier annual voynge to
h Alaskan Coast. She sails direct for
unalaska, which she will reach in the
course of twelve days, and after stopping
there two or three days, will proceed to
the Fur Seal Islands of St. George and St.
Paul, in the Behring Sea, and thence to
the company's posts on the mainland,
nninffas far north as St. Michael's, 600
milps to the northward of the islands,
After the close of the sealing season the
St. Paul will return to the Fur Seal Islands,
take on the catch of skins, amounting
rnhnblv to the full 100,000 skins af
lowed to bo taken under the company's
lease or tne government, anu men return
to San Francisco, where she is expected
to arrive by the lirst of next September,
Her ultimate destination is London
u-hpi-e the fur seal skins are annually dis
posed of at auction to purchasers from all
the leading European countries, fetching
from Si to io eacn according io quality
and the state ot tne market.
The St. Paul is commanded by Captain
Krskine. Her officers and crew number
about twenty-nine persons, and she car
Hps some fifteen or twenty passengers.
including the company's superintending
ni'Piit at the islands, Dr. II. II. Mclntvre
and three special treasury agents, Messrs,
Otis. Scribner and Blaman, who go to
ininrd and protect the government's ini
portant interests at these remote islands,
enforcing the terms of the lease, which
permits the Alaska Commercial Company
not to kill, annually, to exceed 100,000
in:ile seals, between the aces of three and
six vears. For this privilege the lessees
d.iv a yearly rental of $oo,000, and a roy
alty of $2 08 per skin, making a gross
sum of 5317,000, which the United States
receives from this source being the prin
cipal public revenue derived trom tlie
whole Territory of Alaska. This tax is
more than the entire amount formerly
derived from the seal islands under Kus
sian rule. This ereat increase in the pro
duct of the fur-seal islands is due to the
enlightened management of the seal life
and seal hunting since these islands pass
ed under the domination of the American
Government
The native people of the Seal Islands
are Aleutians, and they comprise the
laborine force of the lessees. They mini
ber some 225 on the Island of St. Paul,
and 150 on the Island of St. George.
These islands are the most isolated
spots in the Behring Sea, being distant
from Ounalaska about 180 miles, and the
same from the nearest trading posts on
the main land. The company's vessel
visits them but once a year, though the
.S'(. Paul is expected to make two trips
this season. The Revenue Cutter llmh,
Cant. Bailey, which also leaves on her
northern voyage, going by the "outside
passage," will touch at the islands in
June, and Bennett's steam yacht Jcnndte,
now at Maro Island Navy lard undergo
ing repairs for her Arctic voyage in search
of the lost explorer, Nordenskjold, is ex
pected to start in June, and will touch at
the Seal Islands, where she will take on a
great many thousand gallons of seal oil,
and large quantities of dried salmon
and many dogs at St. Michael's,
for use in the sledge expeditions to be
sent out. The dried salmon is soaked in
seal oil, and makes bang-up dog dinner,
thev say. It is estimated that each
canine, when hitched to a sledge and
persuaded by an Esquimaux bull-whacker's
rawhide, will pull his own weight. It
will be good news to all the civilized
world if the dogs and the relieving party
shall succeed in pulling the intrepid Nor
wegian explorer out of the ice where he
is supposed to be stuck. By the way, late
rumors have been received in San Fran
cisco, through returned Arctic whalers, to
the effect that Indians on the far northern
coast report having seen a vessel fast in
the ice, whose situation they considered
not critical. She is believed to be the
lost ship. Intelligence of Mr. Bennett's
enterprising venture will be looked for
with anxious interest. The -Jennette will
be the first means of communicating with
the seal islands after the departure of the
St. Paul, and friends of the exiles can send
letters and papers by ber.
The True htory of Grandfather's Clock.
He is a German, and he drops into the
office nearly every day. He came in yes
terday just at our busiest moment, and
began:
" Dot sdory 1)oud Greenfodder's Glock
aind so. I know all 'bond dot. I dold
yon und I vand dot misgorreeded by der
Kisbadch. Ven I vas a leedle poy my
greenmoder's hoospant own a gread pig
clock. Der house was doo pig for id, id
vas so large, and dey had doo put id on
a shelluf. Greenmoder's hoospant vas a
eendenarmn niosd eighdy years young,
und he dink more proud dot glock as he
did py five cend.
"Dot glock vas (Twelve o'glook for
dree years, und all you had to do vas to
long ad id, take der twelve muldiply id
by dree, snbvide any number vat you
dink of, und den kess ad de dime.
"Von day de old man died. Ve god
along oxack'ly as usually undil der Irish
man vot geeps der Dentsch groceries
store game to der houses. He hat a padge
mit him mit a man pehindt it. De man
hat a glp likevise also alretty, unt der
groceryman set he vas a gonestable. He
hat a pill 'gainst de olt man, und he took
der glock py misdake for do liggerdade
dot pill vot he owe my greenmoder's hos
pant. " Dot's der firsd dime dot glock vend
in dree years, so helb me job, nnd it
didn't sdob undil id god py der bawn
ogsionears houses. Dod's so. I gtton
nexd day und dell you some more."
We hope he will. The trap door is
lieing edited and the dog is in the cellar.
Some of the Beauties of Botany.
The venerable Judge Clinton, of Buf
falo, is an enthusiastic botanist, and in a
recent lecture before the Society of Nat
ural .Sciences be explained bow strolls in
nature's temples may be verv attractive.
"How can I do justice to the wild woods!"
he exclaimed. "They are full of enjoy
ment too simple fot description. These
enjoyments are almost certain to be
heightened by fit companionship. Alas!
my wanderings of late have been com
panionless. I am too old to find favor
with the nymphs. But then there are
chance meetings. Once two young lovers
were sitting together on a mossy log in
the forest, when I suddenly surprised
them. He drew a cruel thorn from her
torn finger and kissed the finger tenderly,
and looked lovingly into ber tearful eyes
and quoted: 'The rose is fairest when
besprent with dew, and love is sweetest
when 'tis bathed in tears,' while I stood
unobserved. Of course they were silly
and sentimental, but I said in my own
heart, 'God bless them,' and passed on,
wishin for a moment that I was young
again."
A Base Ball Romance.
In the bulk window of a Chestnut street
auction-house is exposed a magnificent
mahogany niolaoe, tipped with elaborately
worked silver. For over an hour a very
seedy individual, with red hair and a
broken nose, lingered about the window
with such a'mysterious manner as to lead
the officer on the corner to lxdieve that
his intentions were not good, so lie "took
him in" on general principles.
When the officer related to the court his
ground for arrest, and, finding them not
tenable, the magistrate quizzed the pris
oner as to who and w lint he was.
"What were you doing there ?" queried
the Court.
"Nothing, Jedge, simply admiring and
meditating."
"Admiring what?"
"That bat, Jedge, the beautiful base
ball bat."
"You are evidently an admirer of the
game of base-ball," interposed the court.
"No more, Squire. as once. 1 m
a martyr, I am. I'm no good any more.
It s gone down now, has the game. How
I could scoop in a fly-scraper? Shy thet
inkstand at me, Jedge. Toss her sharp
Bounce her now. Hot, me boy. an 1 11
show ver how to stow her. No. thev
won't have me no more; I'm played,
they sav. Gimme something. Bust off
that table-leg and gimmme a smack at
that inkstand. J ire her this way hot,
and if I don't show yer a homer, yer can
send me down for good. Ten years ngo
I was a big crab on the field; short-stop,
yer know. All broke up now. Couldn't
get a job now scraping the stick. I could
skin over the bases like greased lighten
ing runs. Throw open the door once.
Just hold her open two minutes, and see
me get up and git. But, I reckon, I'm
no account now days, though.
lou don t look as though you d bring
a prize, put in the court.
"Not for beauty, no. Hut for sears,
Jedge; for scars, I'm prime cheese ;head
ot the heap. 1 m a martyr, 1 am, hut no
body would giiess it. "
A martyr to what? said the court.
"To sky-scrapers, Jedge; daisy-cutters
1. ..- l., rnl V,, l,i.
mullein, vn ilill'W. Xitnuiu rill uwl,
right off the tip of the bat. Oh, yes,
I'm a martvr. Do von see that hand '? "
and he exposed a palm about as broad as
a deal-table, with live horribly-damaged
fingers starting from its edges. "Them
tells the tale. All of them busted time
and again. Hail 'em druv in clear up to
the second jint, and pulled out with
tweezers dozens of times. Every finger
broke in six places; five times six, thirty;
thirty breaks on the right hand, thirty
busted on the left. Twice thtrty, sixty;
five twelves, sixty. Five ain't worth a
continental. Pulled in for gazing and
meditating on a prize bat. This is to
hard!"
" It is indeed hard," said the court.
"Do you see that smelling apparatus
on my countenance? Looks as though it
was too big for my face, don't it? I sac
rificed her. Once it was the beautifulest
nose as ever your eyes sot on, but a ball
took her on the fly, with three fingers.
But I'm no good. Oh! no, I don't un
derstand the game. Can't even gaze on
a prize bat, or meditate, but am run in.
Send it hot. I'm on the home run, and
you might as well put mo out."
lie was put out on the street, and was
heard to say, as he went through the
door, that he knew he would be called up
to die for the cause some time, to save it
from disgrace.
The Nest luternatlona Fair.
New York has concluded to hold an In
ternational Fair in 1883. Its projectors
have selected a site for the same, and the
next thing that remains to be done, is to
proceed with the erection of the necessary
buildings. Col. J. E. Payton, who had a
good deal to do with the Philadelphia
Centennial, thinks the Fair should not be
held until two years later, in order that
time may be given to awaken a world
wide interest in its success. He also sug
gests that it would be a stroke of econ
omy for the projectors of the F'air to pur
chase the main building of the Centennial
Exhibition, take it to pieces and have it
transported to New York. This he
believes could be done for $100,000. The
structure, which cost $l,50,0iK), can be
bought for $250,000. It contains over
9,000,000 pounds of iron, and with fresh
paint and new decorations, the edifice
ould be made to look well. As tne time
for the holding of the Fair has been fixed,
with reference to the observance ot an
American centennial occasion, it is not
likely to be altered ; but there certainly
ould be a great saving or money by mak-
ng the purchase as proposed. It is the
intention to make the exposition of 1883
a much grander afiair than the Centen
nial of 1876, and those who take a nation
al pride in such events, will be expected
to aid the enterprise to the extent of their
ability.
How a Toad Undresses
A gentleman sends to an agricultural
paper an amusing description of " How a
Toad Takes off His Coat and Pants." He
says he has seen one do it, and a friend
has seen another do the same thing in the
same way:
"About the middle of July I found a
toad on a hill of melons, and not wanting
him to leave, I hoed round him; he ap
peared sluggish and not inclined to move.
Presently I observed him pressing his
elbows against his sides and rubbing
downward. He appeared so singular
that I watched to see what he was up to.
After a few smart rubs his skin began to
burst open straight along his back. Now,
said I, old fellow, you have done it; but
he appeared to be unconcerned, and kept
on rubbing until he had worked all his
skin into folds on his sides and hips; then
grasping one hind leg with lrth his
hands, he hauled off one leg of his pants
the same as anybody would, then Btripjed
the other hind" leg in the same way. He
then took his cast-off cuticle forward le
tween his fore-legs into his month and
swallowed it; then, by raising and lower
ing his head, swallowing as his head .'
came down, he stripped off the skin un
derneath until it came to his fore-legs,
and then grasping one of these with the
opposite hand, by considerable pulling
stripped off the skin; changing hands, he
stripped the other, and by a slight mo
tion of the head, and all the while swal
lowing, he drew it from the neck- and
swallowed the whole. The ojwration
seemed an agreeable one and ocenpied
but a short time."
A brick fell from a scaffold on the head
of a passing ngro. " Fung dem pea nnt
shell anoder way np uere, wont yer ?
was the darkey's advice as he scratched
Lis bead.
Anecdotes of Moses Cheney.
hen the Hon. Moses Cheney was a
memlier of the Legislature, at Montpel
ier, t., his eccentricities were continu
ally peeping out, and his originalities
were often made to lear with telling
force upon certain members that he
thought were not on the square. Pride
and affectation were particularly obnox
ions to him, and he never let a chance of
giving a hit when he saw any person put
ting on him. On one election day n chap
lain for the session was to be elected
One by one the resident clergymen of
Montpelier wero nominated, but all de
clined serving. Mr. Cheney rose in his
seat, nnd in a deep, sonorous voice, ex
claimed :
" What various hindrances we meet,
In coming to the mercy leal."
There was a sudden hush fell on the
assembly. The next clergyman that was
nominated accepted the office.
One day an important motion was un
der discussion. The members dilly-dal
lied over it all the forenoon session, then
it was laid upon the table. A second
time it was handled in the same way
The third time it was brought up Mr.
Cheney arose, and said :
" Mr. Speaker, I want to tell a story
before this measure is discussed. Parsou
iSoiiie, who resided in Chelsea, was a
man who was not afraid or ashamed to
work. He had his winter's wood cut sled
length in the woods, and borrowed a yoke
of oxen from one of his neighbors to haul
it to his yard. But he was troubled with
the very first load he got on the sleigh ;
the oxen could not, or would not, draw
it an inch. The old parson coaxed nnd
whipped, and whipped and coaxed, but
there they were, and there they staid
His neighbor, the owner of the oxen,
thought they had been gone a long time.
and got anxious, so he jumped on his
horse and rode out to the woods to see
what was the trouble. Parson Noble was
sitting on a log wiping the perspiration
from his face with his handkerchief.
"In trouble, Mr. Noble?"
" ' Yes, these confounded oxen won't do
a thing.
' .Let me tako the whip, Stand one
side, sir."
" The old parson gladly gave up the
whip and place. The farmer walked
around the sled, saw that there was noth
ing to hinder the load' from starting, took
his place by the side of the oxen, gave
one smart blow with the whip, at the
same tune giving a yell that woke up the
echoes in every direction. Of course the
load started, the parson trotted on be
hind, tilled with wonder.
" ' There, sir,' handing back the whip,
'just let them know that their Redeemer
liveth, and there will bo no more trouble
in getting along.
The motion was carried after a few min
utes' discussion." S. H. It.
Fighting Vandorbllt.
The City of Rochester, N. Y.., and
Vaiiderbilt are at sword-points just now,
and if the fight between the two parties
is not compromised soon, there may he
serious trouble. Several weeks ago the
Common Council of Rochester instructed
the Mayor to enforce the city ordinance
prohibiting tho running of the trains of
the Now lork Central and Hudson Kiver
Railroad through the city at a rate ex
ceeding eight miles an hour, or switch
ing cars across any street of the city.
The Mayor requested the Superintendent
of the road to comply with the ordinance,
and the Superintendent said ho would
conform as to the requirements as to the
rate of speed of passenger trains, but tho
up-grade west rendered it almost im
possible to get freight trams out of the
city at that rate of speed. In reference
to the ordinance prohibiting the com
pany from using or occupying any por
tion of the street, lane, alley or Rquare
within said city for the purpose of mak
ing up any train or switching any ear or
cars, under a penalty ot sod tor each
offense, he said it could not conveniently
be obeyed; and neither could the one
prohibiting loading and unloading pas
sengers or freight on any public thor
oughfare or premises. Several arrests
have alreody been made for violating tho
above ordinance. But tho Mayor and
the railroad officials declare that it is im
possible to keep passenger trains going
if tho law is enforced, as the depot is in
the heart of the city, and the tracks cross
all north and south thoroughfares. Mr.
VanderbiJt says tho whole action is a
piece of malicious spitework because he
refused to build an elevated railroad
through that city at his own expense,
which would amount to about 1,000,000,
which he could not do. He offered to
build the road if the city would pay
half the cost, but the representatives of
the city wanted him to pay all. He suvs
if this prosecntion is kept np, he will
carry the track around the city; but he
does not think the people of Rochester
would be so indifferent to their own in
terests as to compel him to do this.
Some Historic Fans.
Marie Suart's fan, one she brought
from I ranee with her and kept through
all the unhappy years that followed, was
formed of seven ostrich tips, arranged
about a jeweled button, with a slim,
carved handle. Marie Antoinette s ivory
fan is said by Balzac to be the handsom
est of historical fans. It was presented
by the city of Dieppe to the Queen on the
birth of tier son, the Dauphin. The sub
ject is an episode in the life of Alexander
theoreat, when J'orns, deieated and a
prisoner, refuses to submit, and demands
to be treated as a brave soldier and a
king. The great Macedonian, charmed
with the daring or his prisoner, gave him
back his conquered states. This inter
view is presented in a wonderful manner.
the design by V ten, the carving by Le
Fiamand, whose work was never ex
celled. La Pompadour's lace fan with its
medallion portraits is another of the
priceless historic fans. It is of finest Ve
netian lace, so fine and elaborate that it
took nine yean to finish it, and the cost
was SJO.OOo. It is divided into live sec
tions, each enriched by an exquisite min
iature paintinr.
A Hartford (Conn.) lady, in looking for
some old Doom in a second-hand store, a
few days siin e, found a book she bad
missed lor thirty years, with her name
in it as written by herself when a school
girl.
A religion that never suffices te govern
a man will never suffice to save him.
That whjch does not distinguish him
from a sinfnl world will nerer distin
guish him from a perishing world.
John Howe.
The (Jren-Ejed Monster.
Lr. Kroger was tranquilly eating his
breakfast recently, when his boy broke
the silence by asking him for fifty eeuU
to go to uw minstrels with that night.
Mr. Krirger promptly refused, on tho
ground oi mini times.
Mr. hnr-ger's boy is more than a boy
and when sots his licart on having any
thing he generally succeeds in getting it
so, when his father refused to comply
with his request, he moved over by his
mother, and said:
" I guess I'll tell ma what the cook
said to you Lust night. "
Mrs. Mergers eves flashed like two
balls of fire,
" lou're a nice man, " she said, sarcas
tically, " to come home and pet me, and
Kiss me, and call me your little dew
gemmed tuiip, ami then go and receive
the caresses of the cook. You miserable,
irog-eyen runt, for two pins J d go over
there nnd rake the eyes out of vou !"
"I, ah!" stammered the lord of tho
manor, w hen his wife broke in
" Oh, yes, Pll I, nh. you!" and turning
suddenly to the hov, she demanded un
explanation of the whole affair.
ill yon give me fifty cents?
" Yes, " she responded, " what did sho
sav to him?"
"Give me the fifty cents first!" said
young hopeful. " I'm opening the vear
on the C. 0. D. principle."
He soon had the money, and relieved
his mother by telling her:
" Last night tho cook came up to pop,
and getting pretty close to him and
O, you wretch, hissed Mrs. kne
ger.
'And when sho got beside bun sho
smiled very sweetly, and said: "
The, boy moved cautiously toward tho
door; and his mother yelled:
l onie out with it!
" And when the cook got pretty close
to him, sho whispered:
" 31 r. Kneger, the potatoes are getting
pretty low, and you had better get au
other barrel in a day or two. ' "
Then the hoy got outside as fast as
possible, while his mother sank into a
chair. Mr. Kiwger lifted his morning
paper before his face to vail tho smilo
w hich mado it look liko a calcium light.
Old Maids and Old Ilaclielurs.
Old maids are useful. They can cook,
sew and take care of children, nurse sick
people, und generally play the piano.
Old bachelors are useless. They do not
even know how to drive nails or split
wood.
Old maids are amiable. If one wants
anything done that requires patience und
kindness of heart, a single lady is sure to
he the one to do it.
Old bachelors are ill-natured. Thev
snub children, despise babies and hate
young mothers, and are so busily em
ployed m seeing that other people take
good care of them that they have not a
moment to give to any one else.
Old maids arc nice looking, and
" young for their years." Old bachelors
genendly have red noses, rheumatism in
their knees, bald heads, and mouths that
turn down at tho comers.
Old maids can make a homo of one lit-
tlo room, and cook delicious meals for
one over the gas-jet in ennning little tin
kettles, besides making their own ward
robes. Old bachelors need an army of
tailors, waiters, cooks, distant relatives
and hotel landlords to keep them com
fortable. When old maids are ill they
tie np their heads in pocket-handkerchiefs,
take honui'pathie pellets outof
two black bottles, alternately, and get
well again. When old bachelors are ill
they go to bed and send for four doctors;
have a consultation ; a mantel-piece full
of black bottles; all the amiable married
men who belong to the club to sit np
with them at night, besides a hired nurse;
they telegraph to their relations, nnd do
their best to impress the world with the
idea that they are dying.
When an old maid travels she takes a
sandwich, a piece of pound-cake, a bottlu
of lemonade m a hand-basket, and lunch
es comfortably in the carriage. When
an old bachelor travels he orders a dinner
in course at the station, nnd raves he
cause he has not time to eat it before the
fifteen minutes for refreshments " are
over.
Old maids drink weak tea, and it cures
their headaches.
Old bachelors drink strong liquor,
which gives them headaches.
Old maids are modest; they think
their youth is over and their beauty
gone. If, after a while, some autumnal
love is given them, they take it as a sort
of miracle, and hope people will not
laugh at them for marrying so late in
life."
Old bachelors believe that all women
are in love with them, and that tney
must carefully guard themselves from
traps laid to inveigle them into matri
mony. They also fondly cherish the be
lief that should they eventually become
married men, the world expects them t
exhibit great taste in women by their
choice, and that the " other fellows
will lungh if their portion be not tender
youth and beauty; also, that when thev
marry many women will expire of jeal
ousy.
How It Is Done.
Los Angislei Exprenn.
" Hi ! hi, there, you fellow ! how do you
intend to vote on the new Constitution ?"
I have not yet made up my mind, sir."
Well, makeup vour mind, quick
now right off." " But I am not prepared
to: I shall do so before the day of elec
tion." "That won't do. I want you to
tell me how you stand on that inter
nal instrument! " Well, the man is per
haps under business obligations to his
interlocutor, and he dislikes to offend
him, and he finally talks nice, and the
bulldozer retires with the sweet con
sciousness of having gained a vote against
that "communistic Constitution," He
is mistaken. He has made a vote for it
which all the engineering of the monopo
lists could nor alter.
" Speaking of walking matches," ob
served a married lady, " just look at mr
hnslnd. He has been a walking match
for the last five ypars, and I am begin
ning to get tired of walking around w ith
a skeleton.
A steamship has arrived in New York
to load mules for South America. If they
want a snip-load of iackasses they had
better come to San Francisco, says one of
our exchanges. We can spare quite a
number of the same kind of stock from
Idaho.
MjthologyThe Gorgons.
N'nirltwu Herald,
These young ladies wore the names of
ntheino, Euryale and Medusa, and were
never known to write them Einie, Eurie
or Medie. They were the daughters of
I'horkys and Keto. Here is a splendid
opportunity to make a pun on Miss Keto,
but we will not embrace it. We'd rather
embrace one of the other dungh- but let
that pass. Puns are detestable anyhow-
especially if, after you have spent fifteen
miuuics in constructing one, vou an
asked to explain it. Medusa was the
youngest and most beautiful of the gor
gons, and was addicted to handkerchief
flirtation with young men who parted
their hair in the middle. She was
"mashed" classic phrase on Neptune,
and once met him in the Temple of Ath
ene. A little bird ilidn t sing much in
her heart after that. The authorities re
garded such a meeting a desecration of
the temple, and punished Medusa by
turning her beautiful hair into snakes.
1 his transformation frightened Neptune,
Supposing a vigorous attack of delirium
tremens had seized him, he hurried oil' to
a Murphy meeting and signed the pledge
and became one of the leading cold-
water men of his time. It was extremely
painful to see the once fair Medusa, with
4SI2 hairpins in hor mouth, vaiuly trying
to pin her serpentine tresses into a coil of
rreneh twist. As if ahead full of reii
tiles was not punishment enough, her
beauty was destroyed. Her face became
so terrible to behold that the spectator
was turned into stone which was n
gneiss way of making statues. They were
heaper than ninie Renin s and mow
lifelike. We are not informed what dis
position was made of the petrified spec
tators, but no doubt they were utilized as
tobacco-store signs. When Medusa lost
her beauty she lost her admirers. It was
ilecidedly rough on Medusa, but a young
man had to be made of pretty stem stuff
to call on a girl on Sunday night and let
a head full of snakes repose on his shirt
front until 2 a. M. A Mr. Perseus finally
found Medusa asleep, and, closing his
eyes, cut otl her head with his sword,
and presented it to Minerva, who wore it
on her shield as a terror to her enemies.
Ami all this terrible punishment was vis
ited upon Medusa on account of her tin t
ing with Neptune in the Temple of Ath-
ne ! She should have met him m the
Postoflice. Scores of girls meet young
men in the postoflice nowadays, but we
have not yet-heard of any of them hav
ing their hair turned into snakes.
Recuperating the Brain.
The best possible thing for n man to do
when ho feels too weak to carry anything
through is to go to bed and sleep as long
as he can. This is the only recuperation
of tho brain power, the only actual re
operation of brain force ; because during
sleep the brain is in a stale of rest, in a
condition to receive particlesol nutriment
from the blood, which hike tho place of
those which have been consumed by
previous labor, since tho very act of
thinking burns up solid particles! as every
urn of tho wheel or screw of the steamer
is the result of consumption by fire of the
fuel in the furnace. Tho supply of con
sumed brain substance can onlv be had
from the nutritive particles in tho blood
which were obtained from the food eaten
previously, and the brain is so constituted
lint it can best receive and appropriate
to itself those nutritivo particles during
the stuto of rest, of quiet and stillness of
sleep. Mere stimulants supply notlnn"
n themselves; they gorge the brain am
force it to a greater consumption of its
substance, until it is so exhausted that
there is not power enough left to receive
supply.
Fate of the 1'rlvateer "Shenandoah."
London World.
Everybody has heard of the Simian
Jimh, the notorious privateer of the
Southerners in the American civil war
but I do not suppose that nluny know
what was tho ultimate fate of tho ship
when the war ended. Of all places in the
world she now lies "fathoms deep" oil' the
Island of Socotra, in the Arabian Gulf.
Her story is a strange one. She wus busy
burning winders in Behring Mrait when
Waddell, her commander, the "mildest
mannered man whoever scuttled a ship
or cut a throat," heard of the collapse of
the houth. His occupation being gone
and being without home or harbor to
which he durst with safety return, he ran
the Numandoah to Liverpool, and ImniC'
liately surrendered her to her Majesty a
hip Domaal. in the Mersey. 8he was
handed over to the American Consul, and
fterward bought at auction by Nicol,
leming & Co. a firm that has earned a
notoriety in connection with the failure
of the City of Glasgow Bank for the Sul
tan of Zanzibar. After remaining idly at
Zanzibar for some years, she was sent to
ti . 1 r 1 ... r .1 1 .
uomoay ior repairs, oni iounocreii on
Bocotra all hands being lost except one
Englishman and a few J.ascars.
The Carriage Trick.
A certain builder 01 carriages made a
practice of keeping a carriage on hand to
jialin oil on the executors of deceased no
blemen. It was a costly vehicle, hand
somely fitted up. As soon as the death
of a nobleman occurred, the carriage was
decorated w ith the arms of the deceased
in the best style of herald painting, with
this preparation a letter was dispatched
to the executors respectfully inquiring
when it would be convenient to remove
thecarriage which had been built accord
ing to the orders of his lordship. It had
been sometime ready to le taken away,
and the price was XlSO, or some such sum.
This unpleasant announcement usually
led to a compromise. The carriage not
being wanted, a sum of money was paid
by the executors to take it off their hands.
This was precisely what was anticipated.
The carriage was now ready for a fresh
start in plundering. The armoral bear
ing were obliterated; and the panels
were prepared to receive the heraldic
blazonry of the next nobleman on whose
executoM the same trick could lm played
off. Very clever this; but, like all roguer
ies, it was at length found out, and a loss
of reputation ensued. What became of
the carriage that had undergone so many
transformations we know not.
Every now and then some chap writes
to a newspaper for a recipe to prevent
hair from growing out. If men would go
home from lodge before midnight with
their legs sober, their hair wouldn't come
out so rapidly. We always go home
early,and we have more hair than the day
we were Dorn.
At a christening, while the minister was
giving the certification, he happened to
say," It me see this is the 30th." "The
thirtieth!" exclaimed the indignant
mother; " indeed it's only the eleventh! "
TYlttlclsini.
Dead men tell no tales, but dead walls
aro well posted.
A man with a creaky pair of boots has
music in his sole.
What length ought a lady's crinoline
1h3 ? A little above two feet.
The contemplative doctor strolls abont
the eeniclvry i;u,! see:, hi pa:! : .:- ;i u
monument.
Mm. Pai-linginii saystiiut her minister
preached about "tlie j,a:t.!y .i.r prob
able son."
Young man, you should be mighty
careful who you kiss. There's danger of
catching cresip-a-lass.
The right kind of a man will always
have his life insured. It gives his wife's
second husband a start.
To be interesting n speaker should bo
full of his subject, unless he happens to
be speaking against liquor.
It is when a woman tries to whistle that
the great glory of her mouth is seen with
out being heard very much.
If S i o u x spells sue, and eye spells
i, and sighed spells side, iiy doesn't
S i o u x e y e s i g h e d spell sr.i-ide.
The woman who glances under thelwd
tit night before retiring, evidently has in
mind the proverb: " Look before you
sleep."
A little girl, on looking at a picture of
a ship in a thunder-storm, remarked that
(od was sticking crooked pins into tho
bad men."
Bald heads are often called billiard
balls. The resemblance ceases when a
billiard ball is moving, for then it is not
a ball dead.
O. O. Mie says that the conduit through
which flows tht political refuse of the day
is unquestionably sewer-generous.-. Yon
kirn (htzctte.
Wouldn't you rather lose seven dollars
and a half than go up stairs in the dark
and find the top stair one lower than yon
thought it was ?
An old lady being asked to subscribe
to a newspaper declined on the ground
that when she wanted news she manufac
tured it herself.
Akron, ()., has had fourtceu elopement
within a year, and married men there aro
taking the precaution at night to chain
their wives to the bed-post.
Since the war everything has gone
down, except the price of postage-stamps.
Where are the newspapers that do tho
notional fault-finding ?--.SV. LouU Spirit.
A white man at the breech and hold of
the trigger, and a colored man at tho
muz.lo with his hands tied behind him
illustrates the fair play and " no intimi
dation " in the Smith.
" Remember, now," said an Indiana
bride at the altar, " wo havo separated
and been remarried four times, nnd about
once more will convince me that we can
never live happily together."
The pedestrian who walks 500 miles in
six days never travels faster than a boy
does when he is dispatched to the cellar
for n scuttle of coal while a circus
pageant is passing the house.
Mother-in-law holding the screaming
baby "Dear little darlin'! How it looks
like papa now I " (Papa wonders how it is
that his wife's mother always compares
the baby to him when it is crying and
not at other times.)
A bright boy was walking along tho
street with his mother, and, observing a
man with a peculiar hitch in his gait ap
proaching, he drolly exclaimed : " Look
there, Mamma 1 See how that poor man
stutters with his feet I "
" How is your wife's health ?" said on
Sunday-school teacher to another ; " Is
she we'll ?" " Well ? Hardly ever," was
tho response. The questioner gazed stern
ly at the questioned, but, finding ho
meant it, put np his revolver.
There are two brothers on West Hill
who look so much alike they cannot tell
each other apart, and one day last week,
when John was raging liko a volcano with
the tooth-ache.' Henry went down to Dr.
Wilson's and had six teeth pulled.
We call tho attention of tnimps to a
fact to which we invite the attention of
tramps, that a tramp has struck a mine
in Nevada which yields him an income of
$2,000 a day. We call to this fact the at
tention of tramps. A'. Y. dntphic.
Ladies weur gentlemen's scarf-pins iw
well as their collars, coats, vest and
but no! only a few married women wear
tho idmn itiffato Erery ,Sutur-
.. J Will you please name a woman
that doesn't wear a hem several of tlim ?
When the barber's keen, cold razor is
being wafted around one's throat, and tho
germ of a sneeze begins creeping up his
nose, he cares naught for the fate of na
tions, the greenback idea, nor anything
else, only to get the burlier as faraway aM
possible.
The very simple reason why the world
is full of gossip is, that those w ho indulge
in it have nothing else in them. They
must interest themselves in something.
They know nothing but what they learn
froni day to day in intercourse with, and
observation of, their neighbors. What
these neighlwrs do, what they say, what
happens to them in their social and "busi
ness all'airs, what they wear theso be
come questions of supreme interest.
Mow to Become Graceful.
The Young Woman's Journal thinks a
refined, graceful and manner, is one that
can be acquired by any woman. It says :
j he best grace is perfect naturalness.
Still, you must study yourself and form
your manneM by the rule of that art
which is but a carrying out of the law of
nature. But if it is your nature to be for
ever assuming some unpicturesque, un
graceful attitude, pray help nature with a
little art.
If you are stout, avoid thesniallest chair
in the room, and be sure you sit on it,
not to lean back on it with your hands
folded in front of you just below the line
of yonr waist, especially while the present
fashion lasts.
Do not wear flimsy materials made up
without a rutlle, or puff, or flounce, to
fill np the hard outlines of your bad
figure, so cruelly defined by tile tightly
pulled back draperies.
Study the art of dress. We once knew
a very plain woman who dressed so taste
fully that it was an absolute pleasure to
look at ber.
If you have been moping until yoa are
sick with the thought of your own hope
less ngliness, be np and doing. Forget
your disappointments, forget yonr past,
and the sneeM of your own family over
the mistakes that yon have made."