7t
M I
ESTABLISHED FOR THE DISSEMINATION OP lEHOCmiCJRlNCIPLES, AND TO EJRS AX BOSEST LIVING BT THE SWEAT OF OCR BROW.
WHOLE NO. 590.
EUGENE CITY, OR.. SATURDAY, MARCH 1, 1879.
$2.50 per yesr IN ADVANCE.
1 1: r i'Y
in
JLLJ
.i i- - i . i, -.1. - -r ---j-i -:ri3xijUiBa
J, It. CAMPRKIf.
CAMPBELL BROS.,
7ublis!iar3 and Prop.ie.tor3.
rtfTPK-In Underwood's Brick Building,
ovjr Or, se" Store.
OUB ONI.
OH1 ADVKKTIS1NG.
(lvcrt seinenw nisei w - .
ite luare. 10 line or lees, one insertion M;
A 'uSequfnt insertion 1. Cash required m
"TiWertisers will be charged at the fol-
U six month
one year An".
Transient notices in local column, 20 cents per
l'wiilberen-lerednuerly.
ftES work must be taid rua on Muvsar.
POSTOFFICU.
1rt,Hr.-From J a. . to 7 p.m. Humluj-s
Jjfrriw h 'n thewiith anS lev. oin north
K.m. A'
. ,,'jrtiBp.
inives from tlie north an1 leuvee ffin
i p. m. for Siuislaw, Frantlin anl Long
S J Creek un'l Brownsville at l .M. .
ill tor "y fornelieevy halfanhourafW
.7 letter. ehomU be left stthe ofilce
.locate-"
SOCIETIES.
it 4 TP an.1 A.. V
moatk.
-ZZ SPKK.'KH BtJITIt lODOK NO. 9 I. O
SPt.n V Meets every lues lay evening.
Wl-AWKAL ESCXMMKNT No. O,
. T..i. ur..l.-.l.. in nuMi month.
nn tin inani "
LON CLEAVER-
DEHTI
Eugene City, Oregon,
OOMS OVER ORANGE STOKE,
first
it door to the light, u stairs.
Formerly
St C. W. Fitch
Nitmus Oxide Uas for painless extraction of
tttth.
J. O. Bolon,
13 !E2 UT SES
Sl'CeFJBSOB TO
WELSH & BOLON-
OFtTCE-Ninth St, opposite the St Charles
Hotel, up stairs,
Nitrous Oxide Gai lor painless extractions of
teeth.
DR. L. M. DAVIS
HAS LOCATED PERMANENTLY IN
Eugene. OiKce first buil.lins north of
lh Astur House, up stairs. Charges reason
abls and aU work warranted for tire year.
Katfiii .
T. W.Thuom7m.D. T. W. Harms, M. D.
Drs. Shelton & Harris,
PflYSICMS & SURGEOXS,
Kugane City. Proton.
A. V.rdTTERSOX,
PIIVSICIAN AND SURGEON,
IBee en Ninth Ktree , opposite the St.
Clmrle Hotel, and mt Kculdonoe,
ECTGKNK CITY OIIKOON.
Dr J. O. Shields
OmilS HIS PROFESSIONAL SER
vices to the citizens of Eugene City and
wrroundin j country. Special attention given
to!l OBSl'ETIUCAL CASES ai l UTEtt
I.N'K DISEASES entrusted to his care.
Office At tlie St Charles Hotel.
DR. JOSEPH P GILL
C VN BE FOUND AT HIS OFFICE or res
idence when not professionally en'ed.
Office at the
POST OFFICE DRUG STORE.
Resilience on Eighth street, opposite I'resky
teripn Chi'rch.
Dr. F. 51 Walker
HAS LOCATED IN EUGENE CITY,
Oregon office at St, Charle Hotel-
end will treat t'. e following (Ureases: Coinuuip
tion (1'hthisis PiihunuitlM. llroncui.i'. Lar
rjiptu.Iirigh'.s' Disease of . e Kidneys, Dropsy,
ADennutuni, fentomtni, Erysipelas, Kypilie
n, I)yspewia, Naxal CaU"Th, and other dis
" t.i numerous too mention.
fitvnVtinn guaranteed or no pay.
Oci 3.1, 1878.
GEO. B. DORRIS,
ATTORNEY & COUNSELLOR at LAW
Offist on Willamette street, Eugene City.
tmt CENTRAL
B3Y0 & MILLER, Proprietors.
tin
KEEP COSSTAXTLT OH HASD,
VEAL,
FORK AND
1 MUTTO.X.
Ku of all kinds. larf, TaUow.ete. WU1
1 ckuki fmn 1.1 nratA.
-vV
ekaaks (mm 1 to i urate.
9
JEWELRY ESTABLISH EXT.
' a. LUUKtl, r3
DEALER IS
s, VVatcnes, Chains, Jewelry, etc.
Itepairing Promptly Executed.
CrAlinrk Trrted.
J. 8- LCCKKY,
lwth k Ca'e brick, Willamette Street
PRIXTC-NEW DESIGNS OF STAN
vdWndtat
rrrENSLYS.
EUGKNE CITY
BUSINESS SSIRICTOaY.
ALEXANDER, J. li.-Ju.tice of the Teace
South Eugene Precinct; office at Court House.
ASTOR HOUSE-Chas. llaker, prop. Tl,
only first-class hotel in the city-Wilhiantu.
street, one dcMr north of the Mwt olhce.
ABRAMS, W. H. & BRO.-PUnina mill.
ash, door, Muid nid moulding mnnufai tory,
yiuw svrtt i, itsi di mm race, tvorytliiu:
in our line timnslied on short notice and
reasonable terms.
IibNI LEY, J. W.-Privnteboardin? house,
soumwest corner of JUeventu and Pearl at.
1SOLON. J. (?. Sunriealaiid Meel.iini.,11:; ..
tist Ninth St, opjKisite St L'lmrhs Hotrl
ROOK STORE-One door south of the Astor
Houw. A full stock of assorted box papers
(..urn Mini iaucy.
130 YD a MILLER Meat Market-beef, veal
mu.ton, iioih ann iam n iiwmette street,
lietween Eighth and Ninth.
CLEAVER, J. V. General variety store ml
ai.'ricultural imjilements, southeast comer of
niameiie ana seventh street.
CIIRIS.MAN, SCO'IT -Truck, hack and ex
pressman. All orders pnimptly attended
to. Uibce at express othce.
CRAIN BROS.-Deal.-r in Jewelrv. Watch
es, Clocks and Musical IiutntuimtH .
lamette street, between Seventh and Eighth.
CALLISON, R. G. Dealer in jrroceries, pro
risions, country produce, canned goods, books,
atatiiuiery, etc, southwest cornsr Willamette
and 0th Sts.
DORRIS, B. F. -Dealer in Steves and Tin
ware Willamette street, between Seventh
and Eighth.
DURANT, WL-Me:t Market beef, pork,
veal and mutton constantly on hand Ninth
street, between Pearl and liih.
ELLSWORTH Ca-Drujtfsts and dealers
i paints, oils, etc. n lllamstte street, be
tween Eighth and Ninth.
TEIENDLY, S. H. -Dealer in dry goods,
clothing and general merchandise Willam
ette street, jetween Eighth and Ninth.
GUARD OFFICE-Newspaper, book and job
printing office, corner Willamette and Eighth
streets, up stairs.
GRANGE STORE-Dealers in general mer-
cnandise aim produce, corner r.ignin antl
Willamette Btrcets.
GILL, J. P. Physician, Surgeon and Drug-
tst, Postoffice, Willamette ( reet, between
ieventh and Eighth.
HENDRICKS. T. G.-Dealei in general mer
chandise northwest corner M ulamette and
Ninth streets.
HODES, C Lager beer, liquors, eigars and a
tine pigeon-hole table, lllamstte street, be
tween Eighth and Ninth.
HARRINGTON, FRANK-BarWr, Hairdres
ser and ba h rooms, east side Yi Ulamette st,
second door north of St Charles Hotel.
HORN, CHAS. M. Gunsmith. RifleB and
shot-guns, breech and muzzle loaders, for sale.
Repairing done in the neatest style and war
ranted. Shop on 9th street
JAMES, P.. H. Stoves, and nunufaetursr of
Tin and Slieet-iron ware, Willamette street,
between Eighth and Ninth.
KINSEY, .1. D. Sash, blinds and door fac
tory, window and door frames, mouldings,
etc., glazing and glass cutting done to order.
LYNCH, A. Groceries, provisions, fruits, veg
etables, etc., Willamette street, nrst a oar
south of Postoffice.
LUCKEY, J. S. Watchmaker nd Jeweler;
kee a line tioeK 01 goous in line u uiuui
Mn street, in Ellsworth's drr" store.
McCLAUEN, JAMES-Cl-e'c? wines, liquor,
and cigars' W Ulamctlt street, ueiweenaigBin
and Ninth.
MELLER; M. Brewery-Ijiger beer o tap
and by ( -e keg or barrel, comer of Junta and
Olive Bree
OSIiURN & CO. Dealers in druc. medicines.
1 . ...1 . -:l :... VVillmta Mt
ClieilllCUlS. Oltn, l.aini.3, n ii(w..v.
opposite S. Charles Hotel
PATTERSON, A. S. A fine stock of plain
ami fancy visiting csrds.
PERKINS, II. C. -County Surveyorand Civil
Engineer. Jtesidenee on mtn s.reet.
PEN'NINGTON, IJ. C.-Auctioneer and Com
mission Merchant, corner seventn anil xiign
streets.
PRESTON, WM. -Dealer in oad.llery, Har
ness, Carriage ITimming. etc. vt tiiainevt.
street between Seventh and Eighth.
POST OFFICE A new stock of standard
school books just recuived at tue post ol.cs.
RUSH, BEN. Horseshoeing and general job
bing blacksmith, ivigntu street, oetween m ii
lamette and Olive.
REAM, R. Undertaker and building con
tractu.', corner Willamette anu mkiiiu
streets.
pirvvrt.ATT CO. Drr coods. clothing,
groceries and general merchandise, southwest
comer v Ulamette anu iikuw iu
T f'lURI.Ki HU KLi Airs. A. Jien
frew, Proprietress, lhe Dest notei 111 me
city. Corner Wil'amette and Ninth streeU
SHIELDS J. C- Physician and Surgeon -
nor. 1 side Ninth street, nrst uoor east 01 01.
Charles Hotel
STEVENS, MARK Dealer in tobacco, ci
gars, nuts, candies shot, powder, notions,
etc. Willamette Sx-ect
SCHOOL SLTPLIE3-A large and varied
assortmert of slate of all s;zes, r d quantities
of slate- rud slate books. Three d(Mrs north
of the e -press office.
THOMPSON t BEAN Attorneys at Law
Willamette street, between Seventh and
Eightlu
WALTON, J. J. Attorney -at-Law. C'Tice
Willamette street, between Seventh and
Eighth.
WITTER, J. T. Buckskin dressing. The
highest price paid for deer skin, Eighth st,
at Bridge.
UNDERWOOD, J. B. -General brokerage
I...- .ml L'pnt lor tne nmnreiKiu il-
.i,.,, Coiniianv of H.-i ord Willaftette
street, between Seventh anu Eighth.
LAKIN I. R. - Saddlery, Lames, saddle
"trees! whi, etc., Willamette street, Uetwesn
Eighth and Ninth.
ELLSWORTH & CO.,
DRUGGI8 TS,
-1 TTILL CONTINUE THE BUSINESS in
W all it branches at the old stand, offering
inducements to customers, eld and
UlVflv." ,
I new. As heretofore, the most
Careful attention given to Prescriptions.
FAKTI FOR KALE.
A
WI T. IMPROVED FARM OF three
hnndrrd ailfl SIXtT
HX) acres nnder
d the inipnire-
Miltiv&tion: rU
under fence and
miti in fforxl oriler. which
we wi'l self at
v.-ir, .nil na the m.t reeeonable tfnm.
English Workmen.
Il is an umWikble fuct thit the
Englinli nunuractuifr are being
aeriously cripkil liy Anifrican com
petition. Wit are beaut;; thvm in
iiulci y imp einents, in notiont. ami
in all thu varied arU of hatidic.-a;'t, as
mitt'li us w e aio 111 beet nmi poik and
In end si 11 Hi. And I lie renaon i not
hard to find. Willi thw Dritibh
workman present comfort i the solo
idea. Ho cannot hope to rise in the
soeial scale. He 'cm hardly hope to
bucome a proprietor. He therefore
make thu most of his present
comfort.. He beUng to a union
that puts the' poorest workman on a
par with the most imluslrioua and
the best. There is therefore nothing
to spur him into imlividii il exortion
to excel. Then theie aivao the per
nicious ilea that the poorer the
article the aoouer it wore out and the
sooner it must be replaced. The con
sumption et stimulants, too, iu Kir'
land has enormously increased of late
yeui k, and the fleet has been to belo-v
the national intellect and hamper the
national muscle. An American
works under precise! ? opposite i leas.
As a rule he is sober. The man in
an American manufactory wl.o ha
bitually indulges in intoxicating
Iniiks is looked u n with small uj-
gree of favor. And while we nave
unions among us they do not wholly
proceed upon the dangerous heres
that there must always be anlagon
i8ni between the employe an ilhe em
ployed. II foreign competition press
es upon linn he stunics how to in
vent a machine that will obviate the
dilhculiy. Above all he recognizes
the tact" that the best ol n kind al
ways sell, and above him there. is no
easio that loeks down upon him and
oppresses him. These things ivo
an extra stimulus to Aiueiican labor.
We are competing now, not aloue
with England, but with the cheap
Inbor, of Fiance, of Germany, and
even ot India and China. American
watches have fairly annihilated the
Swiss trade. Whatever Yankee in
genuity touches it conquers, and we
bid fair, beloro many years, to be the
manufaciuiing center ot the world.
And it must bo remembered that w
have nccotuplishfd this by elevating
the condition of the individual, not
by appeals to his physical condition,
but by s; urs to his intellect. In the
race of civilization brains always win;
muscle never. The free sc! ool sys
tem is beginning to make its iuf iience
lelt in American mainilactu'cs, and
it bids fair to revolutionize the wor'd.
Natura1. Ihslo.y.
There is a dilfi'ience between men,
as there is a difcrence between cat
lie and cattle.
l'or example; suppose there is a
company ot men going through a for
est and the weather is extremely d!sa
greeable. As night comes on a num
ber of things must be done to pro
tect the people from the i'npei.ding
storm. Wood must be gathered and
a fire built.
There is one class of men who takn
hold promptly in view ol the necessi
ties of the situation and work they
cut the brush out of thu way, they
gather the wood and build the h'e,
while another cla.-s hover around and
do nothing. Jjiit as soon as the
camp is prepared and the firo going,
tl is second class becomo very active
and energetic they now veiy
itroinutlv como to the front. They
crowd in and around and monopolize
the whole "outfit." ihey work with
the greatest energy and perseverance
not to gather more fuel, in order
to keep the hie burninf, but to get
all the benefits poebibic. They get
vry loud and roar about "our lne,
and what "we have done! lhe,
meanly and blindly crowd out, and
shove to the back ground, that very
class, w ho are willing and able to do
the most valuable and indpensable
work.
When the fire begins to burn low,
they call loudly upon the wood get
ters for help. "Come, come, every
body," iby lou lly exclaim, "the liie
burns low work must be done
fuel must be brought life, health,
ami preservation depends upon it.
Where, O! where are tbey gone?"
And after a while, from a remote dis
tance. an echo answers back "gone!"
Finally they see another light spring
ud iu t'-iO benefit of the bewildered
and wauderiug. Then (h ire is fierce
ness aud tury in the old camp.
They throw epithets, c1uId fire
brands, cold water aud wet blankets.
But, after flickering and glimmering
for a lime, the new tire looms up pow
erfullv. and roars likeacoiitlagraiiou!
Why? Because il ha- the wood-gel-Ur
the true workers, lire pioneer
the patriots there 1
As lime advane.s the oU fires go
down and oi.t for lack of fuel then,
"hurrah! bovs," ike smart," Mire wd,
keen, cunning, crowding ia ielows
t ome, making great baste rapidly;
and so it is, history continues to re-
It Waso'l hrrlmif atl'i.
Yesterday alternoou a couple of
geutlemeu were walking down Main
street, and a lady with one of these
pitch forward hats , was walking
ahead el' them a few feet. Said one
ol the (Ht "did you ever see lur
put up in that way beloro ?"
"Upon my word I noyer did. It'
enough to spoil the best hair in the
trade."
"And then the color why, it is en
tire'y off style.'
eut out ot fashion
two years
20,
''he lady ahead looke
mad enow.
to eat a fire plug.
' "And just, think of charging $7
for a lot ot hair l;kelhat."
''It I had it ii my stoio I wouldn't
get ud 01 it in live years nuless soaio
lunatic carat) alont,.'
"It can't erst less than ilme hours'
work each dav to keep the miserable
totile in o-der. Thu woman's bus
baud that "
And then that lady in front i.ur::ed
ai ootid with tire and 'ury in her eves;
''You miserable puppies, lM just
thank you to let my ha'r alone. If
yu cans to sav another word I'M
scream 'Police,' and have yon arrest
ed." As soon as the gentlemen recover
ed breath, the rjtlston man exclaim
ed: "Your hair, madam ! your hair!''
'Yes, my hair. You just keep
yorr impudent tongue olTil."
'I positively declare mother of us
saw you or your hair."
'Then wi.at wre you talking
about it for ?"
"Talking about ill" "We were
not even thinking about it."
'Tnen what were you diking about
in that con'emptible style V"
'Why, in id a 111. I dn business in
this town, and this gentleman deals
in hair in Scran' 0,1, and wo were con
versing about a lot of hair we saw to
gcther in I'hildelphia ye tcrday, and
on which tbo dealer tried to cheat
him."
"And is that all ?"
"Upon my honor that is all."
The lady looked a little mollified,
but remarked with a rather scornful
accent:
"Il may be so, but I don't lelievo
eno word of it."
And sho sailed oft with lur nose
well up in thu air. whilo the two
greatly startled gentlemen stepped
into the is at me House tor svmethiug
to steady their astouUhod nerves.
J-Jxctctiiyc.
Can any one Tell?
Can any tell why men who cannot
find money to pay small bills, can al
ways find money to buy liquor, and
treat when among friends ?
Gun any one tell wh
hy young men
who are always
behind hand with
their landlords, can play billiards
night and day, and always bo ready
with a game of cards when money is
ac stake?
Can any one tell how men live and
support their families, who have no
income and no work, when others
who are industrious are halt starved ?
Ca i any one tell why four-fifth of
the young women prefer a lujiuluss
fop under a plug hat, with tight pants
ami a shell coat to a man with
brains ?
Can any one tell why it is thai
some mothers aro ready to sew for
tho distant heathen, when their chil
drcu at home aro ragged and dirty '
Can anv one tell how a man who
is always complaining that he cannot
afford to subscribe for tho village
nowsuauer, and fiom week to week
borrows it Irom his neighbors, can af.
lord to attend every ball and enter
tainment given in the village hall?
Country Jirv'o Versus Town Negro.
An eternal warfare seems to rage
between the cjuotv' neirro and the
town darkey. This was illustrated
at lhe passenger depot yesterday. A
colored youth from 1'ike county ap
proached a town negro, and the
following conversation ensued:
0 . . s nit
"Whar bouts is de ticket oiiiue t
"liight dar' fo' yo' eyes."
"Fo' whose eyes?"
"Yone."
"Is you do fh ket cflico ?"'
"Look yei, nigger, don't you gim
me none yo' slack."
Tm a mighty slack man, old mac
w'en I gits siirrcd up.
"An you'll git stirred up ef you
stan' rem' ver t'ooliri longer me."
"Dats de kin of ex'cise w at I'm a
ninin fir "
And with that tbey clinched and
had a right lively tusslo. I hy were
senarated. however, leforo a police
man came along, anu me 1 ite wiaj
darky found the Ticket office. The
town nrgro, it may be well to men
tion, was badly used up. Atlanta
Coimtinttion.
Can a man who climbs on the roof
of tbfl building of a savings institu
tion be called a mountebank,?
... I .
Diving for Amber.
Saturday Ma-jaiine.
The labor required is ol the sever
est. 1 lio "slron 'boned, iracund"
peasants, described by Carlyle.the
descendant J of the ancient Cures and
Szamates, meu oilen of reckless and
adventurous antecedents smugglors,
p reliance, on the border land ot anci
ent I'oland, who have pursued tho r
calling with the Uossack bullets whu-
ring around their heads thusa ar
ht material for the recruits whom tue
diviug adventure of the amber-reel at
brusteroourt enlists in its service.
I he costume of the diver is as fol
lows: A woolen garment covers the
entire body. This is agaiu eneom
passed by an india-rubber dress, made
111 one piece, hut (liuVring 111 shape
from the old fashioned diving dress,
and allowing the dives- to lie ut lull
leiigth. Thu helmit u'so is of a novel
construction. 1' irmly fastened to it,
and resting on the shoulders, is a
mall air chest made ot sheet iron-
This chest is connected with the air.
pump iu the boat above by a india
rubber tubing, forty feet long, and
with the diver's luugs by auothor in
dia rubber tube, tho mouthpiece if
which is held by the diver between
his teolh; the wholojipparalus being
scientifically arranged si) as to admit
sullioient supply ot pure air from
nboro, and means of exit tor the ex
pired breath. The helmit is provid
od with three openings, covered with
glass, and protected ly wire, for the
use ot tho eyes and mouth.
When this contrivance has been
screwed on to the person of the diver,
a rope tied round Ins waist, and hall
hundred of lead attached to feet,
shoulders and hslmil, he is ready lor
his plunge. Down, fathoms deep,
ho descends into the aiubvi' world.
He stays there maybe for hours at a
time hooking, dragging, tearing the
amber trout its bed with his heavy
two pronged fork. Olie. it resists
his utmost efforts. However cold
the wiather may be, Iheau men of
iron strength will come up from their
submarine labors streaming with
prcspi ration. The overseer stands
in the boat to reoeivo tho amber Irom
ihnir pockets.
In case he should wish to ascend
beloro the usual time, the diver has
10 elose his mouth and breathe five
or six limes through his nostrils, by
this means tilling the apparatus with
air, which will bring nun to m sur
face wilhou other assistance, lhe
diving boats are nrnned by eight
men each two divers, two pairs of
men, who work tho air pumps alter
nately, with their eyes fixed 011 a dial
plale, by whieh the supply of air is
uicelv regulated, one tnau to hold the
safely ropo attached round the
diver's body ami haul bun up at the
slightest sign I' om bulow, and the
overseer.
Service ;n ifaETjI'sh Royal Fain'ly."
Formerly a kng or queen took
nothing Irom tho hands ot any per
son who was not of gentle blood;
and un'i' the close of George II.'s
rirn thu roval fui..ilv were waited
uiioii ut table b' gentleman pages
to whom tho si ivhd'.j handed the
lishis, and who presented them
staiuliii!T when the court dined in
priv..ie, but or Ivn .led knee at puono
a a t I .
banquets. These formal ifes have
now been iibolishcd to some uxtout,
but the Prince Coiisors when out
shoo'.'ng would never take his gun
'com lhe hands of a tame keopei; he
requned that it should bo haudoJ to
h'.n by ono of the equerries, and the
queen herself is strict in requiring
that al! the personal attendance she
runniiel. Pcrnt at thu table, shall be
done br the ladies and gentlemen of
her court. M. Gu'zot used to relate
that w!mii her majesty visited Lords
Philii.i.a. at tho Chateau d' Eau in
1833, tho king having heard that it
was the queeu's nau'i 10 urnm
class ot water before retiring for the
ght, ordered that one should ue
brought her, it was presented by a
laequev, a.id her maji-sty refused it.
Louis 'Philippe, seeing there was
so.nelhing wrong, whispered to one
of his sons, who went to fetch the
rav, ami this time the queen took
the glass graciously enough. 11 does
not seem to havo struck M. Guizot
lhat the king would have done bet
ter to have offwred the glass himseli;
and thai in this remissness he showed
l.i.nsyU much less of a fine gentleman
i.., Yai.nlooa HI. who. during
iliaU - ---- - r '
t. e queen's visit in 18.'5, took care on
ll ncuasions to ireal her majesty nol
merely as a fellow monarch, but as a
hdy.
Thfro are 307 children between the
. ..1 i.,r an. I t went v vears III
1
Jueksou county.
Wnehin-Mon county is to hve
"poor farm," on which to work coun
ly paupers.
I). V. Stewart, of North Yamhill
I,. ,.!.! his farm to a Marion coun
,ty gcuilemaa lor flO.ooO.
Greenland Courtship.
When tho Danish missicnariei had
secured the confidence of tho Green
landers marriago was made a religi
ous ceremo'iy. Formerly the roan
married tho woman as the Romans
did the Sabine women, by force. One
of tho missienaiies, writing to bit
journal, describes the style o( pres
ent courtship as follows:
lhe suitor, coming to the missiona
ry, said, "I should like to have
wile."
"Whom?" ia';s tho missionary.
Tue man names the woman.
"Hast thou spoken to her?'
Sometimes the man will answer,
''Yes; sli is not willing, but thou
kuowoit womankind."
Mora fivoitcutly the answer is,
"No." '
"Why not?"
"Il is dillioult; girls prudish. Thou
must speak to her."
The uiissionaiy summons tho girl,
and after a lit lo conversation, says:
"I think it time to have thee map
lied."
"I won't many."
"What a pity! I bad a suitor for
thee."
"Whom?"
The missionary names the man wh
has sought hie tii.
"He is good for nothing. I won't
have him."
"But," replies the missionary, "ho
is a good providei; ho throws bis har
poon with skill, and he loves thee."
Though listening to his pi also with
evident pleasure, the girl answers:
"I won't marry; I wou'l have him."
"Well, I wo'n't force thee. I shall
soon find a wile for such a clever fcl-
low."
Tho missionary remains silent as
though ho understood her "no" to
havo ended tho matter.
Al last, with a sigh, she vrh'-oers:
"Just as thou wilt have it, mi iona
ry." ,
"No," replied the clergyman, "as
thou wilt; I'll not pcrsuado iboe"
"Theu, wiih a deep groan, comes,
"yes," and the matter is settled.
Girls lei."
Tho regular annual editorial tirade
agaiusi giru wno spen ins r names
with a diminutive ending in "ie" such
as Sophie, Minnie and Lulie, has be
gun with unabated sarcasm and fury.
We havo investigated this matter a
little, am) having read ssvon ex.
changes that are utler.y disgusted
with this girlish practice, we find that
et tho seven editors, ono ot them is a
crusty old bachelor, tony nmo and
ugly, with a bald head aud a glass
eye, who was jilted by throe girls be-
lore no was iwuuiy uve years eiu,
one of them calls his wife "Lizo," an
other calls his wife '"S.il;" the fourth
calls his wile "old gal;" the fifth man
married an Mnjun" woman whose
nams he can't pronounco at all, and
the sixth man sails his wife "Nsnoe,"
because her name is Nellie, and allows
her two calico dresses and one psir
of cowhide shoes a year. And the
sovetith is a young man twenty-lwe
years old, who recently wrote to bis
sweetheart, and called her his "own
little ducksouu duckie deare" and
"his p'eious 'ittlo toopsio tootsicums"
to that extent that tne old married
man who picked up the letter in, the
Btreet and tried to read it was seized
with, violent convulsions, and fell
down in tho street, frothing at the
mouth, and was taken to tho hospital
in great agony. That's the complex
io of, the onposilioa, girlies, write
your 'names just as you (omission)
please. lluHiiiylon Hawkeye.
The Army.
The United States army consists ol
25.000 men. For this support of th's
army, tho house of representatives
has iust tiassed a bill appropriating
$2f5,7 17,300. As this allows a little
ever $1,000 a year for each man in
tho at my, and as the pay of a piivate
soldier is only about 8150 a year, it
would stem as though somebody or
something is to be pretty wolf pro-
vided for in military circles aunng
the coming fiscal year. It lets a lit
tle light in upon the subject, to knew
thai there is one commiisoned officer
in the regular army lo every six pri
vates. Washington county's total tat for
the fiscal year, 93, has been
paid to the State treasurer.
The temperanco alliance at Albsny
thoroughly endorsed the course o!
Dr. Watts in establishing wue no
bon clubs.
An iinaiiccessiul attempt was maJe
to rob Mr. Mcllwain's house at Alba
ny on Thursday night- lne snap-
ping ot a cr p 00 .nr. jia
friglitened the burglars off.
Two California trappers have the
skins ot 21 beavers, 30 muskrats, 25
mink, 2 otter and G deerskins for
their season's work on the Calapooi
above Brewnsville.
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