r
H
.... J
ESTABLISHED FOR THE DISSEI111TIM OP BIOCRATIC PEISCIPLES, AXD TO E1R1 AJI HONEST LITIXG BT TIIE SWEAT OP Ol'S BROW.
WHOLE NO. 581.
KUGENE CITY, OR.. SATURDAY, DECEMBER 28, 1878.
$2.50 per year IN ADVANCE.
GE
i T1
C
GUARD,
(titu Guard.
I L." CAMfBILU J. R. CAMPBELL.
CAMPBELL BROS.,
Publi3lirs and Proprietors. .
FFICK In Underwood' Urick Buildin;-,
over Express Office,
, OUBVl.
'lUTM OP XbVKKTBtNO.
Advertisements inserted m follows :
On square, 19 lines or less, one insertion ?3 ;
aih iubiei(iirM Ihsertion $1. Cash req'iirc.l in
advance.
i Time adeertrser will be charged at the fol
lowing rXiS: ,
'One n.ii'ttt three months 9" 00
,' J nix month" 8 00
one year 12 00
TrayCht notices in liual column, 20 cents per
line (Ht each insertion.
AdWtising hill will Iw rcn lered quarterly.
All'job work mint be paid roa os i.KMVKitY.
FOSTOFFICK.
"MBoe TToitrs-Froni 7 a. m. to 7 p.m. Hun lays
t. ra 1:J0 to l: p. ra. "
Mail trrim from the south an" 1eTes mine, north
10 . tu Ariivcs from tlie ourth an 1 Iiwyw ir.jin
ith at HI p. m. Kor Him.Uw, franklin an I Io
I im, rln t (I A.M. on WVlo.Hilny. Kor Orawfords
tdla. Camp Creek on I Brownsville I .M.
letters will berel)rfjrdelivrT half nliourftr
a riral of tmins. fotterashouM be left at the olflne
rue hour More mnil ilepurt. .
. . A.8.PATTER80K.P.M. .
. ((. I ET IB
l.ooo No II. A. P. n.l A. M
A
VeU first and third We Ins. lays lu each
month.
.ayuw srKai-Kn Itirrra Union N'o. r I. O.
S&O.V. MoetnoTory l ues lay cvonin.
Meets on tin M an I llu We lne lays in each montli.
DENTISTS,
: Eugene City, Oregon.
. V OOMSOVElt ORANGE STOKE, first
i j door t.i the rirflit, up it-tin. Formerly
ffi. O'i W. Fitoli
Nitrous Oxide Gas for painless extraction of
fUstli.
J. O. Bolon,
.13 23 33J 87 3C & .
Bl'CCESSOB TO
WEFiSH & HOLON
OFFICE -Niiitb St., op;w.iiU the nL CUarlui
Hotol, up stair.
Nitroiui Oxide Gs for painless extractions of
te.th.
wmm.
DR. L. M. DAVIS
HAS LOCATED I' E li.M A X E NT I. Y I N
Eugene.- OlfiwJ lint bi:.lit;' north oi
the Aitop Hoiwe, up at.vrn. t'trins-i r.'.'.n
.aide ami all work wAmuittd i- f live "-i---
Nov2:tf . .
T. W. SKi.Tos, M.D. T. W. II.vR.t:i, at. D.
Drs. Shslton &. Harris,
PHYSICIANS & 8URGE0SS,
Kei City. Oi-econ.
J. W. PATTERSON,
I'UYSICIAN AN1 SURGEON,
OflHea on Ninth Street, oppoH the
Cbarli. Hotel, and t llealdonce,
KUtUCNK CITY OilKOON.
Dr J. C. Shields
OFFERS HIS PROFESSIONAL . SER
vicea to the citizons of Eugene City and
rronndini country. Special Kttuntion tfiven
to all OBSTETRICAL CASES and UlER
INK DISEASES entrusted to his care.
OSioe at the St Charles Hotel
DS. JOSEPH P GILL
IAN BE FOUND AT HISOFVICE or res
Vidence when not professioua'J euifed.
OlDoe at the
POST OFFICE DRUG STORE.
Residence on Eighth street, opposite Presby
terian Church. 1
" I)r. F. M Walker
HAS LOCATED IN EUGENE CITY,
Oret'on-office at St. Charb HoU-l-nd
will treat the following dweaiea: Consump
tion U'hthisis I'ulroonalii), Bronchitis, ljir
Tnjfiti,HriihU' Diseaseof the Kidneys, I roy,
Kheomatism, Peritonitis, Erj'sipelas, Dypt it
ria, lyserMia, NaJ CaUrrh, and other dis
eases to numeriMis too mention.
Satisfaction iruarauteed or no pay.
Oc Sd, 1878.
GEO. B. DORUIS,
ATTORNEY 4t COUNSELLOR t LAW
Office n'Willamette rtreet. Etwene City.
3
CENTRAL
MARKET-
BOYO
& MILLER, Proprie .
KEEP OONSTAVTLT OX HAXD,
BEEF,
TEAL,
PORK AND
Drirf XmU mt M kin Ir4, Tallow, ete
It Bwf abuts f rum 1 to i eenU.
iii
jEWELUY ESTABLISMEXT.
J S LUCXEY. E&iH
ffL. u. fs.,;ne
IVVS II QII.IIC3, WllUlll, JV.b'iM
Pmotlr lT..ntL
Jrt l,U'KKT.
She ($uacaf
. .
PRITH-NETC DESIGNS OF STAN
dari braa-1. at,
TJOXTDLY9.
KUG1CTK CITY
BUSINESS' 33IRECT0RY.
ALEXANDER, J. li.-Jn.tice of tlie Pcac
South Eugene Precinct; otfiee at Court Houae.
ASTOR HOUSE-Chas. Baker, imt. The
only Bret-class hotel in the city Willamette
atrert, one door north of the jxwt oltice.
ABRAMS, W. H. ft BRO.-Planing mill,
sash, tlnor, blind and moulding manufactory,
Eighth street, east of mill row. Everything
iu our line furnished on short notice and
reasonable terms.
BKNTLEY, J. W. -rrivnte boarding house,
outiiwcdt corner of Eleventh and 1W1 its.
COLON. .1. C.-Surificln. MechanicalDeii.
tist Ninth St, opjio.site St L'hai-lei el
BOOK STOKE-Oue do-.r south of the Astur
Ho.isi'. A full Ktock of amortcd box xii-rs
plnin and fancy.
BOYD ft MILLER-Meat Market-beef, real,
mutton, pork and lard Willamette street,
between EL'hth and Niuth.
j CLEAVER, J. V'. Ueneral rariety store and
anoiuiurHi iiniuoinenw, souineaBt corner of
Willamette ami Seventh streets.
CHRI3MA.V, SCIT -Truck, boi-k and ex
pressman. All orders promptly attended
l ). titnce at expivas otlice,
GRAIN BROS. -Dealer in Jewelry, Watch
es, .Clorks. and Musical Instruments Wil-
hm-tto street, bttween Seventh and Ei.'htli.
CALLISON, R. G. Denier iu groceries, pro
vUions, country pnvlnee, canned ifomlx, books,
stationery, etc., louttiwist corner Willamette
ami :th St.
DOttRIS. B. F. -Dealer iu Stoves and Tin
ware Willamette street, between Seventh
ami I'.iK'litli.
DURANT, WM.- Mcat Market beef, )Krk,
veal and mutton couiituntlv on hand Ninth
street, between Pearl and High.
ELLSWORTH ft CO. -Drifts and dealers
iu paint", oils, eta Willamette street, be
tween Eighth and Ninth.
FRIENDLY. S. II. -Dealer in dry ijoods,
clothing and general lucrchandiMe Willam
ette street, between Eighth and Ninth.
GUARD OFFICE -Newspaper, book and job
priu tin oiHce, corner Willamette and Ebjh h
treeti, up stain.
GRANGE STORE -Dealers iu general mer
chandis and produce, eoitier Eixhth and
Wiliamette streets.
Ul,L, .1. P. Phvsician, Sur.'eon and Dru2-
git, Postolfice, W illauiette u 'eet, between
Sevuuth and Ki'h'.h.
HENDRICKS, T. G.-Dealei in jfeneral mer
chandise northwest ciirner Willamette and
Niuth street...
HODES, C Laser beer, liiUors, cijrara and a
line prreon-liole ti"!, i lilamette Btreet, be
tween Ki. 'lull and Ninth.
HARRINGTON, FRAN IC-fWoer, Hair-.hvs-
serau i ba h roous, e.ist. si.lo Vi'tlbimette st,
le-TD 1 d .i irnortii of St. Charles Hotel.
HiJiiN. CHaS. M. Gunsmith. Rifles and
ihut-KUiis, lireech and muzzle loaders, tor sate
Repa'rmg done in the neatest style anil war
ranted. Shop on Htli street
TAMES! I'. IT. Stoves, and nil nnfjicturerof, I
T iTTn'Til XttT!u "Ntntli.
I. i.-J-K T. ,'. D. -Sa-ih, ljiods and door fc
torv, window and door framei-, mouldings,
e'e, a-.Iii;,' and giv cuUinsf done to order, j
T.YNfTI, A. liicH-criis. jirovit-inin, fruits, veg
'e'.a'il ib'., Willamette Ktrett, iirst door
t-.ril!-. of i-Vto'lkv.
LA KIN. I. i- - Saddlery, hmnnni, saiblle
l!,-. -.. whin::, ct.'., Wiil.iiutto ttr.rt, between
El-h:l. u'i Xlnih.
l.l'CKKY, .1. S. --Watchmaker and Jr.wi-ler;
k-'eps a line stork of goods in his line, Willam
ette street, ill Ellsworth ' drug store.
McCLAREN, .TV M E8 Choice, wines,liruors,
and cuars Willamette street, between Eighth
and Ninth.-
MELLER, M. Brewery Lager Iwcr on tap
and by the ke or barrel, corner of Ninth and
Olive street". -OSBURN
ft f!0. Dealer in drugs, medicines.
cneinic.il, oiN, paints, etc. illamette st.,
opposite S. Charbs Hotel.
O. K. BEER HALL -Joe Theimer, pro. Ci-
gan, Wines, Star Beer (l'.'J c'jt. pr. jiint),
mid all kinds of liquors. Near O. K. Moat
Market
PATTERSON, A. S. A fine stock of plain
and fancy visiting ords.
PERKINS, 1L C. -CountrSurreyorand Civil
Engineer, llesidence on Fifth a reet
PENNINGTON, B. C.-AuctioneerandCom-
mission Merchant, corner seventh wnd High
streets.
I'RKSTnX. WM. IValer In oart.flery. Hap
(arriaire Triinminits. etr. Willamette
street betwwn Seventh and Eighth,
POST OFFICE A new stork f stindard
school book just received at the post olhce.
RUSH, BEN.-H.irehoeins and general job
bing blacksmith, Eighth street, between Wil
lamette and Olive.
REAM, J. R. Undertaker and building con
tractor, corner Willamette and Seventh
atrrets.
ROSENBLATT ft CO.-Dry good., clothing,
groc-ries and general merchandiw, southwest
comer Willamette and Eighth street
ct ru 4TJI.ES HOTEL Mm. A. Ren
frew, Proprietress. 1 lie best Mnei in wie
city. Corner WiTamette and Ninth street.
SHIELDS, J. C- Physician and Hurgeon
north aidn Ninth street, first door east oi at
Charle HoteL
STEVENS. MARK Dealer in toliacoo ci
gars, noN, cin.lics. shot, powder, notions,
etc. Willamette street
SCHOOL SLTPLIES-A lare and vari.n
assortment of lats of aU sires, and anantitie
of slates and slate books. I nre doors norm
of the expres office.
Ttmxrpciiv 4- T'.P.iV Attorney at-Lw
Wili.n-.tt. trM-t. Iietween Seventh and
Eiirbth.
iir.lTriV T .T AMrmv-t-I.W. Office
1 I , . - . J
U';il.n.tt. .trcrt. between Seventh and
Kiirhth.
WITTER. J. T. Buckskin drefing. Th
huhmt price paid lor deer wins, tigiuu .i.,
t Bnde.
UNDERWOOD, I. B. -General brokerage
k.;'.. .nrl urent fi tie Conn'rticut ln-
tu ranee ComMiy of Hartford-WiRametU
street, between revenm ana r.ii'nui.
ELLSWORTH & CO.,
Tl WTT O M T P TS
rVTuv .rsivEHit.
' Jntbrncli.attbeoldrtni, ""V,
'. .
' dnfu attentiori civen to Prescnptions.
,
-.nH TAP l r
' 4 WELL IMPROVED FARM OF three
m rl erd-.whirh w. wil KU t
tfc nvt rwonaHe tmns.
. totuatfi n milea wtk f town. kI
I rkraie tnr nj. AprJf at thw
TIIK XEW YEAR. '
Silent and white
Thru' the dim night
Fell the toft noW
Now fast, now low
Milking the post
Like sheeted ghosts
Robing the woods
In ti n e r good t
Than . ever were spun by mortal skill.
And bleached on the aunny aide of the hill,
Where fringes are woven by wearers, where
The warn is mist, and the woof is air;
The world ia dreaaed like a bride, in white,
Altlioujjb the jKHir old year died last night
Drop uot a tear
On the C(dd birr
Of the brave year
W hose corpse is here.
His work i done,
And battles won,
Ami he will bo
Named with the free
Thro' future time
For deeds sublime.
We welcome here
The new born year
The snow that falls
From the gray wall
Of tho thick clouds
Is uot for ahrouiU
For the days fled,
Or the yean dead.
'Ti the white fleece
Emblem of peace,
Sent down to cheer
The soft young year.
May no red vain
Mako a red stain
On the robe white
Wove last night
So ring tho soft
Sweet . bells aloft,
Ring the true chime
Of the good time,
Ring loud ami clear
For this New Year.
Grrrlry's lt fur Moruionliiin.
New York Corr. of the Chicago Tribune.
Ono ol tlie vi-rv best Btoiit'S I eter
heard of him was tobl the other (hiy
by Sauuu'l Sinclair, who, duriiii' the
latter part of Air. Greeley' lite, wn
buf iiii-sB iriniii; r of the Inbuiie. One
V inter Jurs. Qreeley went lo ihe
Wehl IiulirB (or her health, ami the
lollowinj; iring hIic cent for her bus
IimikI lu come alter h.r nuJ hiing her
vine lu New York. In due time
they had ifnt back to Qulhain, ami
thai moniinc Air, binvlair received
word that (irteley wn not feeling
well, owing to his vovage, nod had
ilecidod lo may at home for tlie day.
I se in. hand, hu oillci at Greeley',
house an hour or l wo before the train
wan to mart. He found ihe old man
. . i :n !.. ;..,.
Ill i eil, ail I avium v eiy in, ni"i.
ulfired teiriln-Iy from eu mekneoH
all ibe way out and nil Ihe way uacK.
II was al-cii', llio other mum cm ol
ihi' lamily being either ill or away
tiom home, and so Sinclair iKtertnin
d (o uasN the iniihl with Imn, civiiij;
up lor it at lime hi trip to ihe Capi
tal. Pieseiiily Greeley wanted hi
hack rubbed, and the iiniromptii nurse
wan somewhat lurinihed lo tiinl that
his paumt hadn't a stitch ot clothing
upon his person, barring t! c sheets
and quill.
"Sinclair," sunl in, in tnai ipier-i
Ions whine of his, "I'm as naked as
the day I wat born. My Hunks
haven't arrived yet, and I haven't n
d l nijjhl gown.
"Hut whv nt wfcar thiaV" Point
oj lo the carimut ho had lakin oil
Lelore gettinif into bid.
4 ()li, I etpetl to be cut lo morrow,
and I waul that to wear then. How
the blazes would it look alter I slo, t
iu it !"
Well, in dun time hi uiggago ar
rived, and Sinclii r made a boll for
tho llltlulii HO waillen. miur some
rummaging li found it, and helped
the old man put it on. Il was speed i
y laMciied at tho neck, and the nn rue-
look up one ot the a rista and tried to
button it. llieie, However, ne sun
laxt The ends woiildn' meet by fully
two inches, lie tugged- and twisted
to In. iitmo-t, but il was r.o go.
Si ill, n the path nl said nothing, he
supposed H ought to he fastened, ann
reboulded Ins i tlecla lor that purpose.
For about t went v minutes he labored
wiihout siiccis", then ho said:
"This is a lailnre. It won t fasten.
"No," replied Greeley, with exaa
prraliug calmr.ess, "I knew it
wouldn't. The fact is, I never could
button the infernal thing wiysell. lut
on acrmed to enjoy it, so i didn't
disturb von."
He lav back on tho pillowa for a
few moment, as il thinking deeply,
an.l tbrn. ss ltiii-r boll uniii:ht, he
brought hia 61 down upon the quill
and exclaimed savseelv:
If ever Morinonism work' n far
Etst aa this, I'll be d d if I don't
have one wifo to take care ot my
thirt!n
f Inni. W.rrPn'a orlve is CMiarded
. kfrp otTcriTe roblwrf.
It it le lhri itep f.HTI grand
Ami then wtinppoe lie wilHickle
tiie youth with the dinoy USb.
" . , . , . f
A WftctlCtl lk II DOOf fun, I.C-
ih.
; ty roand.
who hT bonght iheir certilic.ie
j .hortlr V f-Ucv -tl Hln Fr.H
j . -
J
Natural History.
Detroit Free Press
'I Ihi . pig?"
"Yes, tl is is . pig."
"A hog spita all over (he floor of .
street car; he also wants the stamp
clerk at the Post cilice lo wait on
iiim iiiki. mal a the way you can
lell a hog from . pig""
"Does a pig root with hi) tcct?"
"Nohe roots with .his nose. A
pig's nose is called a snout. A cheer
lul minded pig will liirn over more
ground iu search I one small potato
than llio average boy would dig up
iu hunting for a gold watch."
"Wl.at'gait does tho pig ta' o?"
''He likes an open gait ihe best. '
''Is a pig as intelligence as a dog?"
"More so about somethings. A
dog most always jumps over a fence
straining his musules and running the
risk of breaking his hack, while a pig
dives under it, and runs no risk. A
pig cm lell a hill of potatoes from a
hill of cucumbers, but a dnr can't.
You lead a dog, but the pig will lead
you."
''Can a pig see in the night ?"
' He can ses bv night as well as by
day. In driving one out ol tho gar-
dcu, he won't appear to see the liolo
nocamu iu at, but lie does see tl all
the time."
"Why is it that two pigs eating at
a trough six feet long, will still crowd
eao other f
"We will snawcr that w'len you
explain whvitit that every one in
the crowd around a fallen horse wants
to boss the job ot gelling the animal
up."
'Do pigs have eyebrows r
'"Yes until old enough to root; then
they were Yin oil' against fence-rails."
"Are these pigs ol Io.nl ?"
"Yes; but vou can't find any one
who ever led a pig."
"What food io ll.ey prefer?"
'Well quail on toast is their first
choice, but when they can't get il
they will k up with grass, froz.'ii
pot'iloes, moldy corn, or apple cores.
lie never goea liungn because the
hired girl happens to grind the pep
per with the collet?."
Ihe cr.ekling ol gec?c vou said,
9l'';ftVl'lr,U"vVlinln'..lgT"' '
J..t iht w - jMti "
. I i : l 11
h
eels nave oueii saven ni ueucou.
"Do pigs ever attack children ?"
"Once in a grcul while. If a pig
had gone into politic:! and got beaten,
and the others pigs were shoving him
around and calling him an idiot and
so forth, ho in ght be tempted lo bite
a small bov who was snicking kernels
of corn on a cost iron cob to deceive
him and break off his teeth." .
"Can pigs climb?"
"Yes. Let four or five dogs gei
alter one small pig and hu ll climh
for all all l.c's worth. Ho may not
go up a tree, but it will bo because lie
hasu I time lo stop."
An Intermediate llushanj,
Among Modems divorce is even
simiiler than among the Jews, No
bill of divorcement" is necessary
but oulv he short verbal formula of
"Veil lit) self, tuko thy marriage por
tirii and go." A w.l'o may bo thus
t polluted twice mid taken hack; but
if the lul al Im inula shall be pro
nounced a I. ird lime, she can only
betaken back altera fully consum
mated marriage with and divorce by
another husband. This latter con. Ii
tiou sometimes result in awkward
contretemps. Tho person chosen to
piny the pari of intermedial y hus
band is goner lly the oldest and fcob
lest poor man that can be found.
For a "consideration" he con cms to
discharge the provisional (unction,
ar.d engage to divorce ihe lady on
the morrow. Hut it occasionally
haiilielis that th. faithless old in
ner, hiivini? itoeketed nnd earned his
fee, refuse to surrender a pretty and
wealthy bride, or oniv does so auer a
much longer osulruct than was bar
gained lor, and lor a further consid
erable money ransom. A may readi
ly be supposed, such a condition and
Us incidents have weight wiin even
the hastiest tempered husbands, and
co ad wi h other consideration, to
irnieet wive. arainl the risk ef
talak (repudiation) except for grave
and auriicienl reae n. Lerlaia K is
ihat, barring such cases, divorce ore
now quite as rare .owing the M-lem
. .1 i . ..i.:.. ..f-i ii... l'n.-ia
a I lie Vlli im inn piii' vv
and . hundred timet lus. common
than among our moro civilized"
selves. He fore the Cadi, however, as
belore Sir Jan e Hanneirs, the law in
this ici-pecl favors the wife le than
the husband.- The latter may brave
social leeling and cut the conjugal
knot when he likes, but the wile can
only rega-n her freedom on proof ol
positjvc fir treatment or foroueor
two oi her grounds of complaint, and
tvcifllieu al the cost of srbwiidnning
her dowry nd irousstsii to her pec
csriff Husband. FruKr's Magazine
A mark wa.aet npon Cain; bet the
cmbrella ara..- fii reme inscrutable
reuon, left nnynMeeted.
In Indignant lleail ijil Neck.
;i mosi extraordinary sensation
has occured in the American colony
of Loiulo.i this week. A young lady
from Philadelphia was walking down
Regent street with tho mother and
sister ol a young lady ol rank, when
me attention was attracted by soiin
photographs of nolablo people and
othtraexposud in a window, and they
drew up to'.'ook at them. Fancy tho
nstonUhment ot th j Ameiicu'u girl on
seeing her own photograph exposed
there among tho others, but in tho
most amazing shape it is possible to
conceive. Her head, her face, the ar
rangeinent ot her hair, the turn of
her neck, it was impossible lo mis
take; and yet t hero she was, almost
as iindranciO tho Voniis de Medici
in fact, got up in t ghts and Ib-sh.
uil"1, and labelled "Ma.cppa !"
"What can this mean ?" she cried to
tho elderly lady, her lips bl.includ
with shamo and terror.
"I really cannot tell you," replied
Lady Misdain, with steel eyo and icy
voice. "You perhaps can tell us
whether on any occasion in America
you were in tho habit ol appearing in
this dress ?"
"Oh, what do you mean to insinu
ate?" uttered ll.o poor girl. "Do
you think I ever stood ns Mar.crpa ?
Oh, how cruel ol you to speak so."
"It is certainly your portrait ,"
adiled the other lady.
l!y this limo ono or two bystanders
had drawn up lo tho window, and no
ticing the likeness were nudging each
other.
"It U some concidenco of course
it cannot bo meant tor me."
"You had better lake a cab and ro
home nnd tell your father about it,"
said the ladv, still with her Irigid
manner. "My daughter and I haw
some calls lo mako."
In a half dazed slnto of mind tho
young Philadelphia!! drove homo and
told her father of whul had happened,
To gel back to the shop, lo have that
photograph oulol the' window, to de
mand an explanation ol tho stationer,
was not the work of many minutes
for the enraged lalhor. lint though
it was easy enough to demand an ex
ont"Husi)TcIoii falls upon Ihe ser
, n..tn In the !nin..t: -who - ul - n Infill
might, easily have abstracted a photo
out of a package of them which Iias
been kept I. illici t in an unlocked
drawer of tho young lady s writing
di sk. C f course it is a "cooked" pio
tiue; only ihe head and neck of the
American L;y photogrpali, tho rest
that of aome oni; j'lse, nnd together
tho picture represents one of the most
beautiful women il is possible lo con
ceive. Tlio mailer has caused so
much indignation and to much com
ment that it is no impossible that il
may check the mania now so preva
lent among society beanlies lor hav
ing themselves photographed for sale
at a shilling a carte de OMte. -London
Letter.
Couldn't Find V.'hnt He Wanted.
He was a singular looking custo
mer, and in a crowd ol a thousand
you would not have picked him out
tot a millionaire. Ho passed through
the miiikel with hi thumbs inserted
in ihe am, Im es ot hi vest, and when
ho r uelie a li uii Maud, he surprised
the owner by 'observing, "You may
nieusii'u inn live quarts ot your
choicest strawberries."
'Haven', nny si rawberries," replied
the attendant. "Been out of season
four mom lis."
Hum," mused the man. "No
strawberries. Well. I'll lenvo yon
my address nnd you may send me
around a bisket of ihe best peaches
you have.
"No peaches iu the market," ex
plained Ihe fruiter. "llio season's
over."
No t.eaehts iithrr?" said the
: J
strange customer, wiih a siirpi iu
look. "Tho wholo country young
for hard, honest money.and I cant
purchase a few .strawberries or
peaches ! In the language ol thu im.
mortal Shakespeare, whither aro we
twilling?''
Five minutes later he had dri led
up to . meat .tall, and was trying to
'jew down" ten cents on a calf, liver.
-Xorr'tovn IIrald.
ComsKxk Ssilmi.
Tlie whwscllcih at high figures,
but the tool holdeth on like dcaih
unto the moribund Klhiop.
Wh. n tho stock is high, the inflat
ed holder awelleth with conceit and
sr eak'th not to the lowly; but with
Sierra Nevada at tf 8 he atandeth ft
his lailor f.r his raiment. '.
The callow operator Iresu iroin ni
native gooso past ore, sawrt'i the air
w ith his forefinger and telletn me
fuMir of a ininr: but the mail whose
white with Ihe snows
beard ia
maey Winter, knoweth nol what l;vr m h.cn.ng-pos p,m out or
da, m.y bring forth and keepetr-CrtHnnat,, with his horsey and g
.i,, ri.-rih.mann.fthe onbriHgingnp the rear not in the
month shut, alter th. manner'
clam at low tide.
Subscribe for tho 0iu.
II in Swearing Off
Monday night ho said to tie part
her of his joys and sorrows: "Susie,
to-moirow ia New Year. Many and
in my a limo in the past I have sworn
oft', have I nol ?"
"You're talking, sho answered, with
dream'ly retrospective eyes.
"And many and many a time 1 have
broken my pk".?ge,""he continued,
soltly.
"You bet," she whispered with a
sigh.
"Hut, Susie," said the groat, strong
man, whlie hia eyes filled wlih tears.
"I have solemnly resolved this tiffie
to take an oath that I will keep."
tr"M w . '
"un, jMeivin," answered Hie wo
man, "you aio just chinning."
".No" ho replied, with a fervenc'v
that lell no doubt of his earnestness;
"I have sworn it and I mean (o slick
to it. From this timo forth so long
as I live I will never swear offngain."
Tl o ways of the ttiperiutendeut
aro past finding out, rtid the expert
lielh like tho adder iii the path to bile
llio heel of tho venturesome and
trusting.
Kvety man lith unto his neighbor,
and deceit and fraud fill tho habita.
lions of the money seeker.
For a break in stocks is Iii e th.
Humes of tiro devouring the harvest
ami eating up the stubbles of tho
wheat, .
T o call lor mud got th into every
household and the land is filled with
lamentations and wailing.
Ho not laint of hoart ar cast down
ot spirit, for tho good timo is near at
hand, even unto our doors.
When the maikct will be revived
like a giant refreshed with wine and
the wealth ot Indus will pour into tho
ptvkcts of the nervey.
Thon the land will smile with
plenty and whisk -y will flow like
water at two bits a drink 'irginia
Chronicle.
.. .i , ..
Coal oil is no revivalist, but it C6n
verts fifty women into angels where
the ministers convert one.
Ladies of tho royal Inmily ot Eng.
land are charged whlitarrjmgat ...
"wTloii'il 'Is fifowTi.--
According to nil English authority;
redness otthunoso iu both sexes if
produced by inattention to the com
mon rules f'oi preserving health, with'
men tho bottio is tho predisposing
cause; with women and especially llio
young, tigl t lacing. An unnatural
pressnro on tho waist and chest ob
structs the circulation, and causes a
stagnation of the blood in thr.t pmmi
net I and important feature, the in.-c.'
Tho Kii:i.n Koyal family gey
through a solemn coi en.ony of swear"
ing fealty to tho Emperor on attaining'
majority. Lust month tho Grand.
Duko Nicolas Niuolaiwitu! went
through tho peiformances. Ho first
took the oath of civil allegiance, led
up to the Metropolitan of St. Peters
burg by the Cr.nr before a great assem
blage of notables; then tho military
oath beneath tho standard of Hussar,
oi tho Guard. So soon ho had taken
the oath there was a salvo oi artillery
and a great clash of jcy bell.
Of course the ercmatinniata are
just as much shocked at tho recent
operations of tho body siutehcrs as
any of us. Hut they cannot shut their'
eyes lo the fact thnt tin so midnight!
prowlers have done moro this fall ttr
make cri ination popular ihnn they
themselves could have done in ten
veiirs. Every fresh esse of corpse-
sleal'iig makes fresh converts to tho
cause or at leasl lead to lessen prej
udice and secure lis advocates a fair
hearing. A sifigln violated gravt
is woi'lh a dozen elaborate aigumenls.
""Visible from tho Battle Hill, in
Greenwood CVmetry, there i.n quaint
looking building known in it. neigh"
borbood as the ' Bleak House," .nil
which many people not given to super
stitious befit-l say is haunted. It has'
reslly been quickly in succession by
several families who became its ten-'
ants, and at present in. proprietor
finda it impossible to oblaiu an occu
pant. It is situated directly opposite'
the mound in which the poor unknewn
of thu Brooklyn Theatre dead .re
sleeping. The building is quite new
and ami elegantly apponited, yri no
body wiil live there.
A countryman drove into .Venn,
Ohio, the other day with nm- friend
to meet a tnin. Arriving t the de
pot a freight train w Handing on
he .id. track, and h" countryman,
not seeing any n-rfvenienl place tie up
deliberately KU-h -I hi horse to tho
roAr- eifoi'ihe freight, anJ proceeded
1 10 prorrwnv1e the waft around the"
'ihe-p" wh'rie waiting for his train."
of i ..'.'? urPr,w? ..when
! b-f of order. II would not be prop
er to record the rcma-ksof the young
1 man on th. subject.