The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899, July 06, 1878, Image 1

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

-U hJI UJl n jlj
WHOLE NO. 556.
$2.50 per year IN ADVANCE.
5Ue (ujcttc tilts' Guard.
faYishw aad Proprietors.
OFFICK-In Underwood's Brick Building,
over Express Office.
Advertisements inserted as follows:
, A sabiaqaent insertion 51. Cash required in
.afalvertlsert will be chafed at the fob
hirinl rates
Ofl.tartrtt'iree mouths
i " six nnnths
So 03
8 03
' - one vear ;; "
TrinMcn1- notices in local column, 20 cents per
i:, for eih iniertion.
1 i v'rtWnS bills will barenlered quarterly.
All job work mast be paid fob on pkmyehy.
12 00
,. n.iiim-Kni'n 7 a. m. to 7 p.m.
Kim lays
,7,1 ,1 rival from the i-th .in I leive. .ln mirth
liH m Anives Ton the north .Mim
. L -It 11 P. m. Ko- Snirnli. I'ronkliu .m I Umv
t 2hM. t ..on arf..r,l.
'u' C m O k an 1 Brownsville ut I
i.'uVr, will he rei ly lelivery h ilf m Iwur aftoi
J,?'"' ltteisli..ul.l b. left t the ulnce
Hour bebr. EPATTEIUOX. p. M.
- i v II. A. F. an! k. Til.
nnit anl third Wo laesluys iu wu-li
. ..... eKs-rn'i Ihmtk Uiimik No. 1) I. O.
tfrV, O. F. Meets eve-y l ues my evening
n he 2 1 im 1 4th We in" luys hi i"i bmm.
t Xt. Sheltos, M. D. T. W. Haukis, M. D.
Drs. Slvslton St Harris,
.:n-jc-np City. Oy"n
Eugene City, regon.
door t ) tfn ri;ht, up stairs. Formerly
.oMof C. W. Fitch
Nitrous Oxido Gas for painless extraction of
Miilincry ami Dress Making.
Mrs. S. A. McCain
WUhes to call the attention of everyone to her
new stu-'k of Spring Goods, such as
HA TS, BOXJfETS, Etc., Etc,
T)rene of every style made to order on short
notics. Give her a call before purchasing else
wivtre. aprl3:tf
BOJ a RlNSHAW. PrapriBtars
Driel M,itn(,rll kinU T.H, Tillow.eto
II Ui" n tnun .1 t.i 1 'eiiM
J. C. Bolon,
"D S3 33J X 3 "2? .
0F?ICii-In Underwood's brick building over
the express office. Oxide Gas for painless extractions of
omee on Mntli Street, oppovlte the St.
Cliarle Hotel, nd at lCcnldciire,
O J. C. Shields
viejs to the citizens of Eiijune City and
itiimnn lin co intrv. Spicial atUntion iven
toall 03SrEr;lC!AL CASE and UlEii-I-N'U
DUE VSE3 entr.i-ste 1 to his care.
O.fije at fie .St Ch tries HotsL
idents when not professionally engaged.
U Joe at the
Rssi lenie on Eiath street, opposite Tresby
lUrian Ch trch.
J. S. LUCXEY, fatf
Clocks, Watcnes, Chains, Jewelry, etc.
Ui'liaiiiiiL; Promptly ExifiiU'il.
tiTAU Vlork Warranted. J&
J. 2 LU'KKY,
Ellsworth ft to.' brick, Willamette Street.
Ton, where he resoectfullr oJers his er-
icj to the citiamti of that place and vicinity
a au toe branches at bis pmlewirm.
If yoa wish to bay your goods cheap, you must
fro to the (tor ot
They keep one of the Uuest stocks of
General Merchandise
Outride of Porilwd, and they sell goofa cheap
wan n can ce boojebt aorwbere u toe n h
"tt vIW
iae firm n( Larch Br oonsbtii of Aaroa
ALEXANDER, J. B. Justice of the Teace
. South Eugene Preciuct; oflice at Court House.
ABRAMS, W. H. 4 BRO. -Plaining mill,
sanh, door, blind and moulding manufactory,
Eighth street, east of mill race. Everything
in our line furnished on short notice and
reasonable terms.
BENTLEY, J. W. -Private boarding house,
southwent corner of Eleventh and Pearl sts.
BAUSCII, P. Boot and shoe maker, Willam
ette street, second door itouth of A. V. Peters
A Co.
BAKER, R. F Winen, liquops cigars and
billiunU Willamette 8tre .one door north
of St. Charles Hotel.
BJL'n'. .1. C. -Surgical and Mechanical Den
tist, Underwood's brick, over Express OtKce.-
BOYD &. RENSHAW Meal Ma'ket-beef,
mutttn, pork, veal and lard Willamette
street, between Eighth and Ninth.
COLEMAN, FRANK-Wines, liquors, cigars
and billiards, Willamette street, between
Eighth and Ninth.
CLE AVER, J. W. -General variety store and
agricultural implement's southeast comer ot
Willamette aiui Seventh streets.
CHAPMAN, E. F. -Gunsmith - repairing
promptly done and work warranted, Eighth
Btr.'et, between Willamette aitd Olive.
CHRISMAN, SCOTT-Truck, hack and ex
pressman. All orders promptly attended
to. OtHce at express office.
CRAIN BROS.-Deal.r in Jewelry, Watch-
es, 'blocks and JSlusical lustrunieiits V il
laraette street, between Seventh and Eightlu
CALLISON, R. G. Dealer in groceries, pro.
visions, country produce, canned goods, books,
Btation;n-, etc, southwest corner Willamette
and 9th Sts.
B0RRIi, P.. F. -Dealer in Stoves and Tin
ware Willamette Btreet, between Seventh
and Eighth.
DURAXT, WM.-Meat Market beel-, pork,
veal and mutton constantly on hand Wil
lamette street, between Seventh and I'.ighth.
ESPEY, V. W. Carriage maker ,-ind black
rmiUi, Eighth street, between Willamette
and (.'live.
ELLSWORTH 4 CO. Druggists and dealers
in paints, oils, etc. Willamette strert, be
tween Eighth and Ninth.
FRIENDLY. S. H. -Dealer in dry Roods,
clothing and general merchandise Willam
ette street, between Eighth and Ninth.
GUARD OFFICE Newxpaper, book and job
printing oflice, corner Willamette and Eighth
streets, up stain.
GRANGE STORE-Dcalors in general mer-
' chandUe and produce, corner Eighth and
Willamette streets.
GILL, .T. P. Physician, Surgeon and Drug
gist, Postollic;, Willamette street, between
Seventh and Eighth.
HENDRICKS, T. G. -Dealer in general mer
chandise northwest corner Willamette and
Ninth streats.
HYMAN, D.-Variety Store and dealer in
furs and Bkiu, Willamette street, between
Eighth and Ninth.
HOLES, C Lager beer, liquors, cigars and a
fine pigeon, hole table, Willamette Btreet, be
tween Eighth and Ninth.
HARRINGTON, FRANK-Barber, Hair-dresser
and ba h rooms, at side Willamtf.te st.,
second door north of St Charles Hotel.
HORN, CHAS. JI. Gunsmith. Rifles nnd
shot-guns, breech and muzzle loaders, fur sale.
Repairing done in the neatest style and war
ranted. Shop on 0th street.
JAMES,P. II. Stoves, and manufacturer of
Tin and Sheet-iron wnre, Willamttte alreet,
between Eighth nnd Ninth.
KINSEY..T. D. -Sash, blinds and doer fac
tory, window and door frames, mouldings,
etc, glazing and glass cutting done to order.
LYNCH. A. Groceries. Drovisions. fruit, veg
etables, etc., Willamette street, first door
south of Postoffice.
I.AKIN k ROONEY-Saddlerv. harness, sad
dle trees, whips; etc., Willamette street, be
tween hightli anu IVintn.
LUCKEY, J. S. Watchmaker and Jeweler;
keeps a nne stocK or goons in ins une, mam-
etto street, in Ellsworth's drug store.
MoCLAREN, JAMES-Chouw.wines.liquors,
and ci jars Willamette street, between Eighth
and Ninth. - ,
MELLER, M. Brewery Lager beer on tap
and by the keg or barrel, corner of Ninto and
Olive streets.
McCLANAHAN, E. J. -Truck and Drawing;
all orders promptly attended to. head
quarters at tiobinson & Church's.
OSBURN 4 CO.--Dealers in drugs, medicines.
chemicals, oils, paints, etc illametW) St.,
opposite S. -Charles Hotel.
PERKINS, H. C. -County Surveyor andCivil
Engineer. Residence on Fifth i reet
PENNINGTON, B. C Auctioneer and f 'om-
mission Merchant, corner seventh and High
POINDEXTER ft RUSH-Hoiwhoeing and
general jobbing blacksmiths, iiglitn street,
between Willamette and Olive.
PRESTON, WM. -Dealt in Saddlerv, Har
ness, Carnage Trimmings, ere n liiaroeiie
street between Seventh and Eighth.
REAM, J. It. Undortaker and building con
tractor, corner Willamette ana oevenin
ROSENBLATT ft CO. -Dry goods, clothing,
groceries and general merchandise, soutnwesi
corner Willamette and Eighth streets.
SHIELDS, J. C-Physician and Surgeon-
north si'le Mntn street, nrst ooor eas m oi.
Charles Hotel.
STEVENS, MARK-Dealer in tobacco, ci
gars, nuts, candies, shot, powuer, notions,
etc Willamette street
STE1NHEISER, S.. Dealer in groeeries, pro
visions, vegetables, fruits, etc. wuiamtrste
street, between Eighth and Ninth.
THOMPSON ft BEAN-AttorneyB at Law-
Underwoods brick, Willamette street, up
VAN HOUTEN, B. C -Agent for the North
British and Mercantile Insurance wmpany,
Willamette street, at Express office.
WINTER, J A. Photographic artist, No. 79,
Willamette street ricturei tauen m me
finest style of the art, at low rates.
WALTON, J. J. Attnrney-at-I-aw. Office
WlUmette,treet, between Seventh and
WITTER, J. T. Buckskin dresing. The
hit'hest price paid for deer ikins, Eighth it,
at Bridge.
UNDERWOOD, J. B. General brokerage
bnsmess and agent for the Connecticut In
surance Company. of Hartford-Willamette
treet, between Seventh and Eighth.
. trrt T. TVPimVT.n FARM OF three
A hundred aud sixty acre. 100 acre, nnder
cultivation; all under fence ana tne improve
ments in good order, which we wi'i sell at a
l :- ..J . that miat reasonable trnas.
(ItniMU, muM w - ,
Situated ive mflea south of town, and has a
jpod outrange toretoctu Jppiyw
X dard brad at
Old Draff.
Some said be was a miner with bar
reU of money hid away ; others that
lie hailn t a ceLt wherewith to bless
himself ; ami ftilJ others, of more ro
inafitiu ttirnj voted him a hermit; but
the Mini total ot absolute knowledge
touching Old Drff was lliHt ho was
odd, old and ugly wore seedy gar.
meiits, and lived in a seedy looking
collate on a high bluff overlooking
the ijyer.
To thoughtless boys, of the ulass
ready to torment anything helpless,
from worn out horse to nn orphan
kitten, Old Draff offered especial at-
traelion. I hey wimld hoot and jeer
nt him on the street ; inquire the ad-
Iress ot Ins tailor ; ami mock Mm in
so many ways that it was plain' they
bad no tear ol she bvars betoru llieir
One day Ilarrvl in ner, and several
other urchins alike sportively inclin
ed, hit ii ion a new plan one, at least,
winch they hadn I tried before ol
having a little fun out ot Old Draft.
It was to tie a rope across the path
along which he was accustomed l
take his evening walk, and from a
convenient hiding place, watch dim
tumble over on his nose.
Il wasn't the fault, ol course, of
Ilairvaud hUliieuds that the path
ran along the edge ot the bluff, or
Ilia. Old Draff, as he came hobbling
on the dusk, instead ot coins over
on his nose, stumbled sideways, and
toppled over the bank mto twenty
(eel of water at which result the
Iriglitened younslers took to their
In els, leaving Old Draff to sink or
swim on bis own responsibility.
It was a lucky thing for Old Uratt
lhat Charley Thorpe chanced to be
passing that way. Charley had wore
than once interlered to protect Old
Dratl ; and lie and Harry lurner, on
one occasion, had nearly como 10
blows on the subject.
Charley's quick eye took iu the
situation at a glance, lliongn only
thirteen lw was strong and active,
and besides, a good swimmer. With
out wailing to take oft his jacket, he
sprang into the water, and as he rose
caught 014 Draft' by the collar, man
aging with great difficulty to keep
his head above the surface till Dick
Sqnidd, t!ie fisherman, who heard
their struggles, reached them with
his boat and dragged them in.
Old Draff thanked Charley warmly,
but didn't offer to reward him for his
recent set vices.
"I suppose you think the old mi
ser'll n nu mber ym in his will," said
Hurry Turner, tauntingly, the first
time he and Harry met.
The laugh tha'l followed nettled
"I care very little for the sneers ol
cowards," he answered, with forced
'Cowards ! who do you call cow
ards ?" blustered Uairy Turner, who
wms u year older, and hall a head tall
er than Charley. .
"All who are mean enough to in
sult or inj ne a helpless old man,"
tetorleil Lharley, bristling op.
"Do you mean lhat for mo?"
"For you especially."
A smart slap in the face was liar
ry's answer to Charley ; but the next
moment a blow of the litter's fist
sent the other sprawling to ilu
.'round. Iwieo the operation wrn-
repeated, and then Harry Turner
slunk away vanquished.
It was not long till Charley found
his victory productive of bitter fruits.
Mr. Turner, Harry's father, was chief
man of the establishment in which
Charley Thorpe was employed. He
held lofty notions ot the Turner dig
nity. A blow, from a plebeian hand,
inflicted on a scion ot tin; houe, he
looked upon as aimed at the founda
tions of society an offense not to be
overlooked ; and in the absence of
power to impose severer punishment,
lie procured Charley's dismissal from
Nor did Mr. Turner's displeasure
end here. He was Charley's mother's
landlord. Mrs, Ihorpe was a widow,
lell with five children, of whom Char
ley alone was old enough to nftord
Iter any aid. When his wages stop
ped she tell behind in the rent, and
Mr. Turner gave her notice to quit.
It was a sad night when, after the
little ones were asleep, Charley and
his mother sat up discussing what
they should do on the morrow, for
ihen they must, find a new abode.
Eviry proprietor to whom ihey
had applied demanded security, and
they had done to offer. Had Old
Draft" been still a'ive. Charley, for
his mother and the children's sake,
induced by the stories of Lis barrels
of money, might hve been tempted
to ask for a small Joan ; .but Old
Draff had died a few weeks before.
snd the money and effects found on
his premises had barely sufficed to
bury him. H seemed that after all
be wis no miser but only poor.
G1 will help us!" said the wid
ow. when she and CharUy Lad dis
missed, as impracticable, one scheme
after another.
The door bell rang, sivl Cbsrleyi
went to snswer il.
"Doeo Mrs. Thorpe livo here?" in
quiied the gentleman whom ho found
09 the sli ps.
"Yes, sir."
'Has she u son named Charles ?"
"Yes, sir; I'm Charley Tlu rpe."
"Wi ll, my little man, I wish a few
words with you and your mother."
Charley led the way and the
stranger entered,
"I am the bearer of important news,"
he began, taking lliu chair the wid
cu offered. "'Among the papers
ofj my late law partner, whoso death
occurred the day belore that ot .Mr.
Draff, I have juU discovered the tat
ter's will."
"But it is said he left nothing," re
plied the widow, listlessly.
"He left the largest fortune in the
country, the other answered live
hundred thousand dollars, all in molt
ey in the batik."
"And wh is the heir?"
"Your son !" The Interior.
Fait Against Falsehood.
The Radical progtammo for the
campaign of 1878, says-the S. F. Ex
aminer, as eleaily foreshadowed by
recent events. Mcludc a vigorous tin!
sustained effort to revive sectional an
imosities, to re kindle throughout lite
North lite dying embers ot hate tow
ards the people of the Southern Slutes.
As one means of accomplishing this
malignant purpose, the ltadtcal press
and politicians arc already beginning,
with much energy, to circulate iu a
thousand forms the old charge of hos
tility on the part of the Southern peo
ple to Union soldiers and freedmeti.
It the northern mind cat) be convinced
lhat the men who wore the dur
ing ibe war of the rebellion, and the
race to whom the issue of that war
gave freedom, are objects of Southern
hatred, malice ami persecution, it is
hoped by liadical leaders that the re
sult will be a gain ot Congressmen in
close districts.
The Washington Post proposes in
this connection, to submit a few facts
lhat should have more influence with
intelligent peoile than any amount of
rhetorical flourish or denunciatory
emphasis. Two miles from Fortress
Monroe, wilhin 200 yards of Hunp
lon Uomis, and just across a narrow
creek from the town ot Hampton,
stands a large nnd handsome biick
building, in which for many years
prior to 18G1 was a fashionable board
ing school, where the daughters of
wealthy Virginians were educated.
After the war the building, will) its
splendid grounds, was purchased by
General Ilutler, mid by him t ran def
ied to the United Slates to be con
verted into a home tor disabled Union
soldiers. It is and has long been lite
Southern branch ot the National Sol
diers' Home. Six hundred disabled
Union soldiers reside there, clote to a
large population .ot ex-Contuderales;
and ihe point we. wish to make is lhat
the utmost harmony and good lie ling
exist between these Union veterans
and their "rebel" neighbors. Indeed,
I he Home is the favorito resort ol
Southern people foi rhany miles
around. The ex-Contederates have
no "Home" for their maimed' veterans,
and no penion agency sends them a
Treasury draft. They know thai
these things are a p ut of the penally
of their defeat in the great struggle;
but, so far Iron) showing envv and
malice towards the victors, they are
glad to have them located in their
.nidsl. Officers and inmates of the
Southern branch say lhat the relations
between them and the peop'e aronnl
them are and always have been mwl
amicable. A tew hundred yards from
ihe home stands a number ot costly
and elegant buildings orected since.,
the war, the finest school builidiigs in
Virginia. They ore not, as the reader
may imagine, a substitute, foi the
boarding school that was turned into
a Soldier' Home. There was no
money among tho impoverished peo
pie ot that section for the erection ol
such structures. They are the Damp
ton Institute where colored youth of
boih sexes aro educated by a corps of
prolessors and teachers. Now, if the
Southern people were full of hatred
toward the negro, one would think
there was a.chanzc to show il. Their
own fashionable seminary, nn asylum
lor "Yankee" soldiers, and childrcifol
their former slaves being educated at
a finer establishment than they ever
owned, are circumstances that, it might
be suppesed, would evoke some ol
that hatred. Hut the facts show that
between the school and the "rebel"
population ti.ere is entire ainit y. The
Port .puts these briefly Mated truths
before the country as an antidote to
many columns of Kadieal falsehood
gotten up to fire the Northern' heart.
Judge Key repeats the foolish
charge that the Noithern Democracy
led the South into secession. The
Nashville American avers thit a more
groundless and absurd charge was
never made, nor is there a man in the
S"uth wili degrade himself by the as
i uvu uv wai. ic.j tn ui i en, ca
joled or persuaded. The South fought
tmcaose the bad to figbt.
Punds Furnished by His Swrtlhrart.
0e of the eases called at the (as-
gow Circuit Court, the otlur day,
was that of Richard Berris Scott,
who was charged with embezzlement.
Scott had been for a number ot years
head clerk in the ollice of a firm of
city brokers, and was well known on
Change. Ihe cutest of speculators,
however, sometimes miss the market,
and to meet "ddterences ' it was al
leged lhat Scott had up Jropriaied his
employers' money to the extent ol
over $30,000. Altei undergoing the
usual preiimiiMiiy examinations he
wat committed for trial no charge ol
hiving stolen or embezzled npwird
of $'J0,000. Scott lay in iatl until
lite iiidtcMiienl for tr al at lite then
forthcoming Circuit Conrl was served,
when application tor the fixing ot bail
was made by one who evinced a par
ticular interest iu lite accused. The
SlieritJ named $5,100 as the amount
of bail, and the Advocate, having
iiu'iccd lo iii-eepi litis sunt, $4,01)0 in
Oish was 'olged by a young lady,
nil I two city gci'ilk-nleti liecuiui' se
curiiy lor the balance. Scoil was
accordingly liberated. Next day he
was again before the bherill ; (his
time, however, under somewhat dif
iiereitt auspices. Instead ol being iu
charge ol an oihccr,liu was accompau
led by the young llidy who hadptevi
ously been conspicuous in her exer
tions in his behalf. The Register for
llt.i pati-h had ul ready been consult
ed, and ihe Sheriff li'iviu toked itj
tho interesting pair were willing to
lake each other lor belter or worse,
or something in lhat strain, signed
the register, ami the couple, with
their one or two Irteuds, K-It. but a
lew days elapsed when Scott and his
newly made wile bid adieu lo their
relatives, look steamer, anil sailed
lor foreign shores. On tho case be
ing called on .Monday, Scott, of
course, did not appear, lite bail was
declared forfeited, and seiitenco ot
outlawry pronounced. Tho Exche
quer will thus bo richer by $5,0()0,and
America has one more lelugce-in in
jusuoj to look r.lter.
why Mcc Wasn't In.
"Is Mr. McKee iu ?" Tho gentle
man who asked the question was a
mild itiAunered individual and reem
bled a clergyman in appearance. Mr.
Tuseh. of whom the question .was
asked, replied in the negitive.
"Will ho be in soon?"
"I think not," answered Mr. Tusch
"I have not seen htm lor some
lime, and I am afraid I would not
know him," said the man.
"lle"'s no doubt changed a great
deal since you saw him last," return
ed the iiionosy ib'o Tusch.
"Do yoil know where I would te
likely lo find him ?" asked the visi
tor. "II did not say where' he was go
ing." "Is there any place that ho fie
que ma ?"
"Ho is no doubt in one of two places,
but they're a good ways from here
and ho probably would not like to be
Ciiii I sit and wait ?" asked the
"Oh, certainly 1 John give the
ceutlemaii a chair."
Iho gentleman waited lor two
hours and then became uneasy; final
ly he said :
"Is theio any possibility ot ins be
ing in lo day ?"
-No, I think not."
'How long since ho went off?"
"Six month)',"'
"How's that!'
' II-'s dead." ,
."Why the devil'didn't you sa so?"
"You did n't ask me."
Then the gentleman pulled out two
quarts of hair, kicked ofer a table,
and fired two dams al lusch. John
fell off the ollice slool, struck Hie
floor with his school end, nod made a
de".t tin shape oil wo butter cracker
in the floor, and Mr. Tuseh, remark
ing that "some people .didn't know
enough to ask for what they wanted,"
went into executive ecsrioii mill l In
The fences in Hie United Slates
tre estimated to havecot $1,200,000,
000, or more than halt the naiioii.i.
debt, and lobe worth iwo-i birds liuit
enormous sum, or $SOO,000,000. Tin
yearly expense to keep them in good
order and cattlcprooi is about $100,
000,000, or $2.50 to every man, wo
man and child white, black and red
-in the country, This is the result
of tho unjust system of b-nceing
every man's stock out, instead ol
compelling every man who owns
slock to keep it fenced in, so il can
not trespass on any ot hU neighbors.
Every owner of cattle should care for
them himself, instead ot compelling
hit neighbor, who probably owns
juino, lo do so. This is the law is
all European civilized regions, anil
alao in Kansas, Colorada and Nebras
ka. If you want job orintinst done, call
'at the Guard office
Convening Ihe llcathra by Weight.
Tho old man was oiling the hinges
of the stove door and carelessly sing
ing one ot Beethoven' best, when a
middle aged woman entered the sta
tion and began:
"Mr. Joy, are you a good man?"
"Wall, tolerable tolerable," he re
plied, "I never dropped a bad nickel
into the street car box, and I don't go
fishing on Sunday."
"Mr. Joy,I am cauvassing for money
to buy H:bles,aud so forth, for the
African heathen," she continued as
she showed a pass book.
"Are, eh? Does he seem to want
"He does. Ho sits on tho rands ot
-his native shoro and lioks longingly
this way.
"Does, eh? Sitting right there this
morning, 'sp se?"
''lie is. How much will you sttb
soi ibe, Mr. Joy?"
".Mad im, I've got to litt a mortgage
before noon to-day, nnd "
'Tut down what your nuble heart
dictates," she said as she bunded Mm
lift book.
He reflected for a moment and then
'Will $5 convert a heathen a great
hi? I wo listed heathen with a stiff
"I-I think so "
He figured will) a pencil on the
bottom ot a chair and said:
"Fivo dollars into two hundred
pou ids of heailien is forty pounds tor
a dollar. That is, less Bee uin ten
pounds for twenty-tlvo cents and tione
lo carry. Divide the dividend by the
divisor, cut oft' tho cube root, curry
nothing and, madam, you take this
quarter and conv rt ten pounds ot
heathen for me. That's oil I can spare
no use talking ten pounds here
comes bis JJouor."
She went away puzzled nnd amaz d
at his figures, and Bijah looked attcr
iter and mused:
"I ought to have taken a mortgage
on my sharo of that heathen, hut I'm
just that careless In business affairs."
Detroit Free Press.
i Quiet Hun.
Ho was rather an uncouth looking
individual, and as he sauntered into
tho store the crowd on the barrels
winked ot each other, and made re
marks about his portion.
"Where did ii como from?" asked
one, poiuting at him.
".somebody lell the door open, flu :
it blew iu," said pother.
"I dou'l think it's alivi," tai i .
"Touch it and see," suggesuJ u
"Yes, it's a, nun see it move?'1 .
queried tho first. . 4
All hands laughed boisterously. '
"I'm a poor man and don't want lo
have any trouble with anybody. I'm
it Christian and don't believe in tui
moil and strife, and can't paiticipajo
in it. I pray you, worldly mindi d
people, that you will permit me toi'e
pari iu peace," said the new arrival.
Oi.eot tho crowd, more during lit in
thu rest, hammered the old man's hut
down over his eyes, and another dob.
bcdwiis nosu full ot molasses from a
barrel standing by.
Thep the poor christian took a small
volume Irom his pocket and began
reading the Scriptures in a drawling,
singing tone.
While he was engaged at this tho
crowd played all sorts of tricks on
hi nl.
Ono put some eggs in his pocket, another mashed them.
Then the bigest man in the house
poured some oil on his hat and lighted
Then the clerk hit him under ;ho
nose wilh a codfish.
Then that man quietly put the lit
tle volume into his coat tail pocket,
and the clerk went Lead first into tho
molasses barrel. When tin biggest
man in the house picked himself tnno
under tho counter, it was next lo an
impossibility to guess where Ins nose
left off ami where tho codfish began.
No. 1 made work for the glazier as li bit
a ventilator in tho window. Nr.
2 hatched out half a barrel of egg,
and No. 3 got up on the pic shell and
stayed there. As No. 4 walked out
of the- door on his back, ho wondered
how much il would cost to make him
hs good as new, and the poor Chr
liaii man remarked:
I'The next time you folks puk me
up for a slouch, iook out you ain't in
the wrong pew. Good day, felleis."
The cltrk is wailing for them to
come round and settle for the damag s
don, lut they must have forgoing
where the place is, as they piss riiri t
by r iikont looking in, and their bilic
remain unpaid.
Gen. Banks keeps on beating aK
banging the poor South, but the Smtt
isn't going to get rxsd at Gen. Banks
It is not so ungrateful as to for?
bow this good man fed and clothe ! ltf
hungry and worn oat heroes in tb
time that tried men's soles.
ad Bea Lurch-