The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899, July 06, 1878, Image 1

The Eugene City guard., July 06, 1878, Image 1

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Newspaper Page TextCITY G An 11 -U hJI UJl n jlj '1 ALJIUa ESTABLISHED FOR THE DISSEMINATION OF DEMOCRATIC PRINCIPLES, AND TO EARN AN HONEST LIVING BY THE SWEAT OP Oft BROW. WHOLE NO. 556. EUGENE CITY, ORM SATURDAY, JULY 6, 1878. $2.50 per year IN ADVANCE. 5Ue (ujcttc tilts' Guard. r.V ALEXANDER, W. II. ALEXANDER. ALEXANDER BROS, faYishw aad Proprietors. OFFICK-In Underwood's Brick Building, over Express Office. OUR ON'Lt B4.rRVOP' ADVKKTIS1NO. Advertisements inserted as follows: , A sabiaqaent insertion 51. Cash required in .afalvertlsert will be chafed at the fob hirinl rates Ofl.tartrtt'iree mouths i " six nnnths So 03 8 03 ' - one vear ;; " TrinMcn1- notices in local column, 20 cents per i:, for eih iniertion. 1 i v'rtWnS bills will barenlered quarterly. All job work mast be paid fob on pkmyehy. 12 00 p()rrnc:. ,. n.iiim-Kni'n 7 a. m. to 7 p.m. Kim lays ,7,1 ,1 rival from the i-th .in I leive. .ln mirth liH m Anives Ton the north .Mim . L -It 11 P. m. Ko- Snirnli. I'ronkliu .m I Umv t 2hM. t ..on Welu.sl.iy. H.ir arf..r,l. 'u' C m O k an 1 Brownsville ut I i.'uVr, will he rei ly f.ir lelivery h ilf m Iwur aftoi J,?'"' ltteisli..ul.l b. left t the ulnce Hour bebr. EPATTEIUOX. p. M. - i v II. A. F. an! k. Til. nnit anl third Wo laesluys iu wu-li ninth. . ..... eKs-rn'i Ihmtk Uiimik No. 1) I. O. tfrV, O. F. Meets eve-y l ues my evening mUnn n he 2 1 im 1 4th We in" luys hi i"i bmm. t Xt. Sheltos, M. D. T. W. Haukis, M. D. Drs. Slvslton St Harris, PHYSUMS & SCRSE0XS .:n-jc-np City. Oy"n "CUAVCR a HENOtRSOM, A' DENTSS Eugene City, regon. R00M3 OVER GRANGE STORE, fast door t ) tfn ri;ht, up stairs. Formerly .oMof C. W. Fitch Nitrous Oxido Gas for painless extraction of teeth. Miilincry ami Dress Making. Mrs. S. A. McCain WUhes to call the attention of everyone to her new stu-'k of Spring Goods, such as HA TS, BOXJfETS, Etc., Etc, T)rene of every style made to order on short notics. Give her a call before purchasing else wivtre. aprl3:tf G.tHaAL BOJ a RlNSHAW. PrapriBtars will KEKP CONSTANTLY Ot7 HAND, vi;t., MUT 'OM. Driel M,itn(,rll kinU T.H, Tillow.eto II Ui" n li.ink tnun .1 t.i 1 'eiiM Will J. C. Bolon, "D S3 33J X 3 "2? . 8LXCESSOR TO 0F?ICii-In Underwood's brick building over the express office. Xisro.il Oxide Gas for painless extractions of teeth. A. IT". PATTERSON, PIIVSICIAN AND SUKGKON, omee on Mntli Street, oppovlte the St. Cliarle Hotel, nd at lCcnldciire, KiWK.VK CITV OltKGDN. O J. C. Shields OFFE3 HI3 PrlOFE-SSIONAI, SEU viejs to the citizens of Eiijune City and itiimnn lin co intrv. Spicial atUntion iven toall 03SrEr;lC!AL CASE and UlEii-I-N'U DUE VSE3 entr.i-ste 1 to his care. O.fije at fie .St Ch tries HotsL D1 JliUPH P GILL CVN BE FOUND AT HI3 OFFICE or res idents when not professionally engaged. U Joe at the PJ3r OFFICE DRUG STORE. Rssi lenie on Eiath street, opposite Tresby lUrian Ch trch. J EiVELUY ESTAIHJSilKXT. J. S. LUCXEY, fatf DEALER IK jS Clocks, Watcnes, Chains, Jewelry, etc. Ui'liaiiiiiL; Promptly ExifiiU'il. tiTAU Vlork Warranted. J& J. 2 LU'KKY, Ellsworth ft to.' brick, Willamette Street. DR. JOJLY HERliBOLD, HRGICll AND XECHINII'AL DENTIST, HAS REMOVED TO ROSEBURG, Ore Ton, where he resoectfullr oJers his er- icj to the citiamti of that place and vicinity a au toe branches at bis pmlewirm. If yoa wish to bay your goods cheap, you must fro to the (tor ot LURCH BROS, . COTTAGE GROVE. They keep one of the Uuest stocks of General Merchandise Outride of Porilwd, and they sell goofa cheap wan n can ce boojebt aorwbere u toe n h "tt vIW iae firm n( Larch Br oonsbtii of Aaroa KUGKNK CITY BUSINESS HIRECT0RY. ALEXANDER, J. B. Justice of the Teace . South Eugene Preciuct; oflice at Court House. ABRAMS, W. H. 4 BRO. -Plaining mill, sanh, door, blind and moulding manufactory, Eighth street, east of mill race. Everything in our line furnished on short notice and reasonable terms. BENTLEY, J. W. -Private boarding house, southwent corner of Eleventh and Pearl sts. BAUSCII, P. Boot and shoe maker, Willam ette street, second door itouth of A. V. Peters A Co. BAKER, R. F Winen, liquops cigars and billiunU Willamette 8tre .one door north of St. Charles Hotel. BJL'n'. .1. C. -Surgical and Mechanical Den tist, Underwood's brick, over Express OtKce.- BOYD &. RENSHAW Meal Ma'ket-beef, mutttn, pork, veal and lard Willamette street, between Eighth and Ninth. COLEMAN, FRANK-Wines, liquors, cigars and billiards, Willamette street, between Eighth and Ninth. CLE AVER, J. W. -General variety store and agricultural implement's southeast comer ot Willamette aiui Seventh streets. CHAPMAN, E. F. -Gunsmith - repairing promptly done and work warranted, Eighth Btr.'et, between Willamette aitd Olive. CHRISMAN, SCOTT-Truck, hack and ex pressman. All orders promptly attended to. OtHce at express office. CRAIN BROS.-Deal.r in Jewelry, Watch- es, 'blocks and JSlusical lustrunieiits V il laraette street, between Seventh and Eightlu CALLISON, R. G. Dealer in groceries, pro. visions, country produce, canned goods, books, Btation;n-, etc, southwest corner Willamette and 9th Sts. B0RRIi, P.. F. -Dealer in Stoves and Tin ware Willamette Btreet, between Seventh and Eighth. DURAXT, WM.-Meat Market beel-, pork, veal and mutton constantly on hand Wil lamette street, between Seventh and I'.ighth. ESPEY, V. W. Carriage maker ,-ind black rmiUi, Eighth street, between Willamette and (.'live. ELLSWORTH 4 CO. Druggists and dealers in paints, oils, etc. Willamette strert, be tween Eighth and Ninth. FRIENDLY. S. H. -Dealer in dry Roods, clothing and general merchandise Willam ette street, between Eighth and Ninth. GUARD OFFICE Newxpaper, book and job printing oflice, corner Willamette and Eighth streets, up stain. GRANGE STORE-Dcalors in general mer- ' chandUe and produce, corner Eighth and Willamette streets. GILL, .T. P. Physician, Surgeon and Drug gist, Postollic;, Willamette street, between Seventh and Eighth. HENDRICKS, T. G. -Dealer in general mer chandise northwest corner Willamette and Ninth streats. HYMAN, D.-Variety Store and dealer in furs and Bkiu, Willamette street, between Eighth and Ninth. HOLES, C Lager beer, liquors, cigars and a fine pigeon, hole table, Willamette Btreet, be tween Eighth and Ninth. HARRINGTON, FRANK-Barber, Hair-dresser and ba h rooms, at side Willamtf.te st., second door north of St Charles Hotel. HORN, CHAS. JI. Gunsmith. Rifles nnd shot-guns, breech and muzzle loaders, fur sale. Repairing done in the neatest style and war ranted. Shop on 0th street. JAMES,P. II. Stoves, and manufacturer of Tin and Sheet-iron wnre, Willamttte alreet, between Eighth nnd Ninth. KINSEY..T. D. -Sash, blinds and doer fac tory, window and door frames, mouldings, etc, glazing and glass cutting done to order. LYNCH. A. Groceries. Drovisions. fruit, veg etables, etc., Willamette street, first door south of Postoffice. I.AKIN k ROONEY-Saddlerv. harness, sad dle trees, whips; etc., Willamette street, be tween hightli anu IVintn. LUCKEY, J. S. Watchmaker and Jeweler; keeps a nne stocK or goons in ins une, mam- etto street, in Ellsworth's drug store. MoCLAREN, JAMES-Chouw.wines.liquors, and ci jars Willamette street, between Eighth and Ninth. - , MELLER, M. Brewery Lager beer on tap and by the keg or barrel, corner of Ninto and Olive streets. McCLANAHAN, E. J. -Truck and Drawing; all orders promptly attended to. head quarters at tiobinson & Church's. OSBURN 4 CO.--Dealers in drugs, medicines. chemicals, oils, paints, etc illametW) St., opposite S. -Charles Hotel. PERKINS, H. C. -County Surveyor andCivil Engineer. Residence on Fifth i reet PENNINGTON, B. C Auctioneer and f 'om- mission Merchant, corner seventh and High streets. POINDEXTER ft RUSH-Hoiwhoeing and general jobbing blacksmiths, iiglitn street, between Willamette and Olive. PRESTON, WM. -Dealt in Saddlerv, Har ness, Carnage Trimmings, ere n liiaroeiie street between Seventh and Eighth. REAM, J. It. Undortaker and building con tractor, corner Willamette ana oevenin streets. ROSENBLATT ft CO. -Dry goods, clothing, groceries and general merchandise, soutnwesi corner Willamette and Eighth streets. SHIELDS, J. C-Physician and Surgeon- north si'le Mntn street, nrst ooor eas m oi. Charles Hotel. STEVENS, MARK-Dealer in tobacco, ci gars, nuts, candies, shot, powuer, notions, etc Willamette street STE1NHEISER, S.. Dealer in groeeries, pro visions, vegetables, fruits, etc. wuiamtrste street, between Eighth and Ninth. THOMPSON ft BEAN-AttorneyB at Law- Underwoods brick, Willamette street, up stairs. VAN HOUTEN, B. C -Agent for the North British and Mercantile Insurance wmpany, Willamette street, at Express office. WINTER, J A. Photographic artist, No. 79, Willamette street ricturei tauen m me finest style of the art, at low rates. WALTON, J. J. Attnrney-at-I-aw. Office WlUmette,treet, between Seventh and Eighth. WITTER, J. T. Buckskin dresing. The hit'hest price paid for deer ikins, Eighth it, at Bridge. UNDERWOOD, J. B. General brokerage bnsmess and agent for the Connecticut In surance Company. of Hartford-Willamette treet, between Seventh and Eighth. FARM FOR SAXE. . trrt T. TVPimVT.n FARM OF three A hundred aud sixty acre. 100 acre, nnder cultivation; all under fence ana tne improve ments in good order, which we wi'i sell at a l :- ..J . that miat reasonable trnas. (ItniMU, muM w - , Situated ive mflea south of town, and has a jpod outrange toretoctu Jppiyw RIXT-NEW DESIGNS OF ST AX X dard brad at FEIXNDLY& Old Draff. Some said be was a miner with bar reU of money hid away ; others that lie hailn t a ceLt wherewith to bless himself ; ami ftilJ others, of more ro inafitiu ttirnj voted him a hermit; but the Mini total ot absolute knowledge touching Old Drff was lliHt ho was odd, old and ugly wore seedy gar. meiits, and lived in a seedy looking collate on a high bluff overlooking the ijyer. To thoughtless boys, of the ulass ready to torment anything helpless, from worn out horse to nn orphan kitten, Old Draff offered especial at- traelion. I hey wimld hoot and jeer nt him on the street ; inquire the ad- Iress ot Ins tailor ; ami mock Mm in so many ways that it was plain' they bad no tear ol she bvars betoru llieir eyes. One day Ilarrvl in ner, and several other urchins alike sportively inclin ed, hit ii ion a new plan one, at least, winch they hadn I tried before ol having a little fun out ot Old Draft. It was to tie a rope across the path along which he was accustomed l take his evening walk, and from a convenient hiding place, watch dim tumble over on his nose. Il wasn't the fault, ol course, of Ilairvaud hUliieuds that the path ran along the edge ot the bluff, or Ilia. Old Draff, as he came hobbling on the dusk, instead ot coins over on his nose, stumbled sideways, and toppled over the bank mto twenty (eel of water at which result the Iriglitened younslers took to their In els, leaving Old Draff to sink or swim on bis own responsibility. It was a lucky thing for Old Uratt lhat Charley Thorpe chanced to be passing that way. Charley had wore than once interlered to protect Old Dratl ; and lie and Harry lurner, on one occasion, had nearly como 10 blows on the subject. Charley's quick eye took iu the situation at a glance, lliongn only thirteen lw was strong and active, and besides, a good swimmer. With out wailing to take oft his jacket, he sprang into the water, and as he rose caught 014 Draft' by the collar, man aging with great difficulty to keep his head above the surface till Dick Sqnidd, t!ie fisherman, who heard their struggles, reached them with his boat and dragged them in. Old Draff thanked Charley warmly, but didn't offer to reward him for his recent set vices. "I suppose you think the old mi ser'll n nu mber ym in his will," said Hurry Turner, tauntingly, the first time he and Harry met. The laugh tha'l followed nettled Charley. "I care very little for the sneers ol cowards," he answered, with forced calmness. 'Cowards ! who do you call cow ards ?" blustered Uairy Turner, who wms u year older, and hall a head tall er than Charley. . "All who are mean enough to in sult or inj ne a helpless old man," tetorleil Lharley, bristling op. "Do you mean lhat for mo?" "For you especially." A smart slap in the face was liar ry's answer to Charley ; but the next moment a blow of the litter's fist sent the other sprawling to ilu .'round. Iwieo the operation wrn- repeated, and then Harry Turner slunk away vanquished. It was not long till Charley found his victory productive of bitter fruits. Mr. Turner, Harry's father, was chief man of the establishment in which Charley Thorpe was employed. He held lofty notions ot the Turner dig nity. A blow, from a plebeian hand, inflicted on a scion ot tin; houe, he looked upon as aimed at the founda tions of society an offense not to be overlooked ; and in the absence of power to impose severer punishment, lie procured Charley's dismissal from employment. Nor did Mr. Turner's displeasure end here. He was Charley's mother's landlord. Mrs, Ihorpe was a widow, lell with five children, of whom Char ley alone was old enough to nftord Iter any aid. When his wages stop ped she tell behind in the rent, and Mr. Turner gave her notice to quit. It was a sad night when, after the little ones were asleep, Charley and his mother sat up discussing what they should do on the morrow, for ihen they must, find a new abode. Eviry proprietor to whom ihey had applied demanded security, and they had done to offer. Had Old Draft" been still a'ive. Charley, for his mother and the children's sake, induced by the stories of Lis barrels of money, might hve been tempted to ask for a small Joan ; .but Old Draff had died a few weeks before. snd the money and effects found on his premises had barely sufficed to bury him. H seemed that after all be wis no miser but only poor. G1 will help us!" said the wid ow. when she and CharUy Lad dis missed, as impracticable, one scheme after another. The door bell rang, sivl Cbsrleyi went to snswer il. "Doeo Mrs. Thorpe livo here?" in quiied the gentleman whom ho found 09 the sli ps. "Yes, sir." 'Has she u son named Charles ?" "Yes, sir; I'm Charley Tlu rpe." "Wi ll, my little man, I wish a few words with you and your mother." Charley led the way and the stranger entered, "I am the bearer of important news," he began, taking lliu chair the wid cu offered. "'Among the papers ofj my late law partner, whoso death occurred the day belore that ot .Mr. Draff, I have juU discovered the tat ter's will." "But it is said he left nothing," re plied the widow, listlessly. "He left the largest fortune in the country, the other answered live hundred thousand dollars, all in molt ey in the batik." "And wh is the heir?" "Your son !" The Interior. Fait Against Falsehood. The Radical progtammo for the campaign of 1878, says-the S. F. Ex aminer, as eleaily foreshadowed by recent events. Mcludc a vigorous tin! sustained effort to revive sectional an imosities, to re kindle throughout lite North lite dying embers ot hate tow ards the people of the Southern Slutes. As one means of accomplishing this malignant purpose, the ltadtcal press and politicians arc already beginning, with much energy, to circulate iu a thousand forms the old charge of hos tility on the part of the Southern peo ple to Union soldiers and freedmeti. It the northern mind cat) be convinced lhat the men who wore the bl.ie dur ing ibe war of the rebellion, and the race to whom the issue of that war gave freedom, are objects of Southern hatred, malice ami persecution, it is hoped by liadical leaders that the re sult will be a gain ot Congressmen in close districts. The Washington Post proposes in this connection, to submit a few facts lhat should have more influence with intelligent peoile than any amount of rhetorical flourish or denunciatory emphasis. Two miles from Fortress Monroe, wilhin 200 yards of Hunp lon Uomis, and just across a narrow creek from the town ot Hampton, stands a large nnd handsome biick building, in which for many years prior to 18G1 was a fashionable board ing school, where the daughters of wealthy Virginians were educated. After the war the building, will) its splendid grounds, was purchased by General Ilutler, mid by him t ran def ied to the United Slates to be con verted into a home tor disabled Union soldiers. It is and has long been lite Southern branch ot the National Sol diers' Home. Six hundred disabled Union soldiers reside there, clote to a large population .ot ex-Contuderales; and ihe point we. wish to make is lhat the utmost harmony and good lie ling exist between these Union veterans and their "rebel" neighbors. Indeed, I he Home is the favorito resort ol Southern people foi rhany miles around. The ex-Contederates have no "Home" for their maimed' veterans, and no penion agency sends them a Treasury draft. They know thai these things are a p ut of the penally of their defeat in the great struggle; but, so far Iron) showing envv and malice towards the victors, they are glad to have them located in their .nidsl. Officers and inmates of the Southern branch say lhat the relations between them and the peop'e aronnl them are and always have been mwl amicable. A tew hundred yards from ihe home stands a number ot costly and elegant buildings orected since., the war, the finest school builidiigs in Virginia. They ore not, as the reader may imagine, a substitute, foi the boarding school that was turned into a Soldier' Home. There was no money among tho impoverished peo pie ot that section for the erection ol such structures. They are the Damp ton Institute where colored youth of boih sexes aro educated by a corps of prolessors and teachers. Now, if the Southern people were full of hatred toward the negro, one would think there was a.chanzc to show il. Their own fashionable seminary, nn asylum lor "Yankee" soldiers, and childrcifol their former slaves being educated at a finer establishment than they ever owned, are circumstances that, it might be suppesed, would evoke some ol that hatred. Hut the facts show that between the school and the "rebel" population ti.ere is entire ainit y. The Port .puts these briefly Mated truths before the country as an antidote to many columns of Kadieal falsehood gotten up to fire the Northern' heart. Judge Key repeats the foolish charge that the Noithern Democracy led the South into secession. The Nashville American avers thit a more groundless and absurd charge was never made, nor is there a man in the S"uth wili degrade himself by the as i uvu uv wai. ic.j tn ui i en, ca joled or persuaded. The South fought tmcaose the bad to figbt. Punds Furnished by His Swrtlhrart. 0e of the eases called at the (as- gow Circuit Court, the otlur day, was that of Richard Berris Scott, who was charged with embezzlement. Scott had been for a number ot years head clerk in the ollice of a firm of city brokers, and was well known on Change. Ihe cutest of speculators, however, sometimes miss the market, and to meet "ddterences ' it was al leged lhat Scott had up Jropriaied his employers' money to the extent ol over $30,000. Altei undergoing the usual preiimiiMiiy examinations he wat committed for trial no charge ol hiving stolen or embezzled npwird of $'J0,000. Scott lay in iatl until lite iiidtcMiienl for tr al at lite then forthcoming Circuit Conrl was served, when application tor the fixing ot bail was made by one who evinced a par ticular interest iu lite accused. The SlieritJ named $5,100 as the amount of bail, and the Advocate, having iiu'iccd lo iii-eepi litis sunt, $4,01)0 in Oish was 'olged by a young lady, nil I two city gci'ilk-nleti liecuiui' se curiiy lor the balance. Scoil was accordingly liberated. Next day he was again before the bherill ; (his time, however, under somewhat dif iiereitt auspices. Instead ol being iu charge ol an oihccr,liu was accompau led by the young llidy who hadptevi ously been conspicuous in her exer tions in his behalf. The Register for llt.i pati-h had ul ready been consult ed, and ihe Sheriff li'iviu toked itj tho interesting pair were willing to lake each other lor belter or worse, or something in lhat strain, signed the register, ami the couple, with their one or two Irteuds, K-It. but a lew days elapsed when Scott and his newly made wile bid adieu lo their relatives, look steamer, anil sailed lor foreign shores. On tho case be ing called on .Monday, Scott, of course, did not appear, lite bail was declared forfeited, and seiitenco ot outlawry pronounced. Tho Exche quer will thus bo richer by $5,0()0,and America has one more lelugce-in in jusuoj to look r.lter. why Mcc Wasn't In. "Is Mr. McKee iu ?" Tho gentle man who asked the question was a mild itiAunered individual and reem bled a clergyman in appearance. Mr. Tuseh. of whom the question .was asked, replied in the negitive. "Will ho be in soon?" "I think not," answered Mr. Tusch "I have not seen htm lor some lime, and I am afraid I would not know him," said the man. "lle"'s no doubt changed a great deal since you saw him last," return ed the iiionosy ib'o Tusch. "Do yoil know where I would te likely lo find him ?" asked the visi tor. "II did not say where' he was go ing." "Is there any place that ho fie que ma ?" "Ho is no doubt in one of two places, but they're a good ways from here and ho probably would not like to be disturbed." Ciiii I sit and wait ?" asked the geiitlcrnuu. "Oh, certainly 1 John give the ceutlemaii a chair." Iho gentleman waited lor two hours and then became uneasy; final ly he said : "Is theio any possibility ot ins be ing in lo day ?" -No, I think not." 'How long since ho went off?" "Six month)',"' "How's that!' ' II-'s dead." , ."Why the devil'didn't you sa so?" "You did n't ask me." Then the gentleman pulled out two quarts of hair, kicked ofer a table, and fired two dams al lusch. John fell off the ollice slool, struck Hie floor with his school end, nod made a de".t tin shape oil wo butter cracker in the floor, and Mr. Tuseh, remark ing that "some people .didn't know enough to ask for what they wanted," went into executive ecsrioii mill l In nan. The fences in Hie United Slates tre estimated to havecot $1,200,000, 000, or more than halt the naiioii.i. debt, and lobe worth iwo-i birds liuit enormous sum, or $SOO,000,000. Tin yearly expense to keep them in good order and cattlcprooi is about $100, 000,000, or $2.50 to every man, wo man and child white, black and red -in the country, This is the result of tho unjust system of b-nceing every man's stock out, instead ol compelling every man who owns slock to keep it fenced in, so il can not trespass on any ot hU neighbors. Every owner of cattle should care for them himself, instead ot compelling hit neighbor, who probably owns juino, lo do so. This is the law is all European civilized regions, anil alao in Kansas, Colorada and Nebras ka. If you want job orintinst done, call 'at the Guard office Convening Ihe llcathra by Weight. Tho old man was oiling the hinges of the stove door and carelessly sing ing one ot Beethoven' best, when a middle aged woman entered the sta tion and began: "Mr. Joy, are you a good man?" "Wall, tolerable tolerable," he re plied, "I never dropped a bad nickel into the street car box, and I don't go fishing on Sunday." "Mr. Joy,I am cauvassing for money to buy H:bles,aud so forth, for the African heathen," she continued as she showed a pass book. "Are, eh? Does he seem to want Bible?" "He does. Ho sits on tho rands ot -his native shoro and lioks longingly this way. "Does, eh? Sitting right there this morning, 'sp se?" ''lie is. How much will you sttb soi ibe, Mr. Joy?" ".Mad im, I've got to litt a mortgage before noon to-day, nnd " 'Tut down what your nuble heart dictates," she said as she bunded Mm lift book. He reflected for a moment and then asked: 'Will $5 convert a heathen a great hi? I wo listed heathen with a stiff ktiee?" "I-I think so " He figured will) a pencil on the bottom ot a chair and said: "Fivo dollars into two hundred pou ids of heailien is forty pounds tor a dollar. That is, less Bee uin ten pounds for twenty-tlvo cents and tione lo carry. Divide the dividend by the divisor, cut oft' tho cube root, curry nothing and, madam, you take this quarter and conv rt ten pounds ot heathen for me. That's oil I can spare no use talking ten pounds here comes bis JJouor." She went away puzzled nnd amaz d at his figures, and Bijah looked attcr iter and mused: "I ought to have taken a mortgage on my sharo of that heathen, hut I'm just that careless In business affairs." Detroit Free Press. i Quiet Hun. Ho was rather an uncouth looking individual, and as he sauntered into tho store the crowd on the barrels winked ot each other, and made re marks about his portion. "Where did ii como from?" asked one, poiuting at him. ".somebody lell the door open, flu : it blew iu," said pother. "I dou'l think it's alivi," tai i . third, "Touch it and see," suggesuJ u fourth. "Yes, it's a, nun see it move?'1 . queried tho first. . 4 All hands laughed boisterously. ' "I'm a poor man and don't want lo have any trouble with anybody. I'm it Christian and don't believe in tui moil and strife, and can't paiticipajo in it. I pray you, worldly mindi d people, that you will permit me toi'e pari iu peace," said the new arrival. Oi.eot tho crowd, more during lit in thu rest, hammered the old man's hut down over his eyes, and another dob. bcdwiis nosu full ot molasses from a barrel standing by. Thep the poor christian took a small volume Irom his pocket and began reading the Scriptures in a drawling, singing tone. While he was engaged at this tho crowd played all sorts of tricks on hi nl. Ono put some eggs in his pocket, a.id another mashed them. Then the bigest man in the house poured some oil on his hat and lighted il. Then the clerk hit him under ;ho nose wilh a codfish. Then that man quietly put the lit tle volume into his coat tail pocket, and the clerk went Lead first into tho molasses barrel. When tin biggest man in the house picked himself tnno under tho counter, it was next lo an impossibility to guess where Ins nose left off ami where tho codfish began. No. 1 made work for the glazier as li bit a ventilator in tho window. Nr. 2 hatched out half a barrel of egg, and No. 3 got up on the pic shell and stayed there. As No. 4 walked out of the- door on his back, ho wondered how much il would cost to make him hs good as new, and the poor Chr liaii man remarked: I'The next time you folks puk me up for a slouch, iook out you ain't in the wrong pew. Good day, felleis." The cltrk is wailing for them to come round and settle for the damag s don, lut they must have forgoing where the place is, as they piss riiri t by r iikont looking in, and their bilic remain unpaid. Gen. Banks keeps on beating aK banging the poor South, but the Smtt isn't going to get rxsd at Gen. Banks It is not so ungrateful as to for? bow this good man fed and clothe ! ltf hungry and worn oat heroes in tb time that tried men's soles. ad Bea Lurch-