57
WEEKLY C0HVALL1S GAZETTE.
CORVALLIS.
AUGUST 6, 1880
THE WORLD AS I FIND IT.
They aay the world's ft weary place,
W here tears are never dried,
Where pleasures pass like breath on glass,
Ami only woes abide.
It may be so I cannot know
Yet this 1 dare to say,
My lot has bad more glad than sad,
And so It has to-day.
They say that love's a cruel Jest;
They tell of women's wiles
T "Olson dtps in pouting lips.
Ana death in dimpled smiles.
It may be so I cannot know
Yet sure of this I am,
One heart is found above the ground
Whose love is not a sham.
Tbey say that life's a bitter curse
That hearts are made to ache,
That lest and song are gravely wrong,
And health a vast mistake
It may be so I cannot know
But let them talk their fill;
I, like my lite, and love my wife,
And mean to do so still.
THE BACHELOR'S CONFESSION.
I live in a French flat. Of course
there are objections to French flats. So
there are to most things. 1 can't afford
a hotel, and I detest a boarding-ltouse.
A bachelor of thirty odd, who has been
at the mercy of boardine-honse keepers
all his days, can easily understand
that.
So, when I engaged a suite of rooms
third floor, in a French flat edifice and
arranged my household goods therein,
with a fine lookout over a green dot in
front, and the glimmer of the Palisades
far away to the rear, above a forest of
shipping, I considered myself wejl off.
What is my profession? I haven't any
in particular. I am an artist, and draw
a little, daily, in front of my easel. I
contribute to the press and write when
the divine afflatus seizes me. I read law
when I feel like it, and I draw a regular
income from a snug little property left
me when my uncle died in India. Con
sequently I was able to decorate my new
quarters very prettily with Bagdad rugs,
old China dragons, black and gold
Japanese screens, and pictures I had
picked up at a bargain.
And when the Are was burning cheer
fully in the grate, that first rainy May
evening, the student lamp shining
softly on the red carved table, and the
waiter from a neighboring restaurant
had brought in my frugal dinner of a
broiled bird, a mold of currant jelly, a
slice of roast beef, and a raspberry
dumpling, I considered myself pretty
comfortable.
"Upon the whole," said I to myself
"I rather approve of .trench flats.
I rang the bell.
The janitor, a respectful, decent sort
of fellow, in a round jacket ana carpet
slippers, answered m the summons.
"Janitor," said I, "who occupies the
a i n,
noor aoover
"Nobody, sir," the man answered
"Last party moved out yesterday. New
party moves in to-morrow."
"A large family?" said I, rather du
biously.
"Bless your heart, sir," said the man
"no family at all single lady, sir."
At this I congratulated myself more
and more.
"I shall have a prospect of a little
peace now, I think," said I; and late my
dinner in a fool s paradise of happiness.
The single lady moved in on the mor
row. She must have moved in when I
was down town, selecting some new mill
boards and color-tubes for the summer
sketches that I intended to make; for,
when I returned, fondly expecting once
more to enter into my kingdom of peace
and serenity, everything was chanced.
There was a banging and pounding
overhead, a thumping and hammering
a sound as if some middle-aged giantess,
m hob-nailed shoes, were enjoying her
self in a promenade.
I sent for the janitor, in a rage.
"Is the house coming down?" said I.
"It's the new tenant a-movin' in, sir,"
said he, apologetically.
"Does her furniture consist entirely of
Herring's safes and square pianos?"
said l.
"There is two pianos, sir," said he.
"She s musical.
"The deuce she is!" roared I. "Two
pianos! And does she play on 'em
Dothr"-
"Don't know, sir, I'm sure," said the
man, with a distressed expression of
countenance.
I endured the noisa until midnight,
and then i sent up the i am tor s wife.
"The third floor's compliments to the
fourth floor, and would like to know if
this sort of thing is to go on all night."
Down came the woman again.
- -"Fourth floor's compliments to the
third floor, and wishes to know if he
expects people to be settled without a
noise.
The next day the piano only one,
nowever commenced. 1 was elab
orating a skeleton for a scientific essay,
ana it disturbed me seriously. 1 en
dured it as long as I possibly could,
and then I had recourse once more to
the janitor's wife.
"Third floor's compliments to the
fourth floor, and will feel obliged if she
will favor me with a little peace and qui
etness, long enough to do some neces
sary writ g."
There was no reply, bat the music
ceased abruptly.
But that evening, when I was begin
niug to solace myself with a little violin
practice in the twilight, tap, tap, tap,
came the janitor s wife at my door.
"Fourth floor's compliments to the
third floor, and will feel obliged if he
will favor her with a little peace and
quietness, long enough to write a letter."
Mow I hated that woman!
So we lived for a month, exchanging
constant missiles of warfare. 1 could
cheerfully have given up that miserable
French flat, and gone back to boarding,
only unluckily I had engaged it for the
year. The fourth floor elocutionized,
and had friends to select private read
ings, whose voices were deeper than
Hamlet's, and more sonorous than that of
a Charlotte Cu slim an. She was charita
ble, and had classes of heavy-booted
girls there twice a week, to sing hymns
and learn to sew. A single lady, indeed!
If she had been a quadruple lady she
could not have made more noise, nor en
joyed the making of it more.
At the end of the month, however, an
accident happened which turned the
current of my whole life.
I went on a picnic. I don't often go
to affairs of that kind; but this was
an especially select affair, gotten up by
my friend Harold Webster.
I went, and there I met Barbara Wil
lis, and fell straightway in love with her.
She wasn't exactly young, but neither
am I and to my taste a full-blown rose
is sweeter than a bud, wherever you may
find it growing. She was dark-eyed,
with full cherry lips, satin-brown hair,
and a complexion as fresh as roses and j
ivory. We talked our ideas coincided
exactly. It seemed as if our souls were
two looking-glasses, to mirror each
other's.
"Miss Willis," cried I, "why is it that
we have never met before? I feel as if
we were old, old friends !"
As I spoke I gently pressed her hand,
and she smiled back unuterable things.
I went to my friend Webster, who was
making up quadrilles on the upper deck.
We were accompanied by an excellent
brass band.
"Harrold," said I, "I can never thank
you enough for introducing me to that
angel !"
"Do you mean Barbara Willis?" said
he. "Well, I think she is rather a fine
girl."
We grew confidential as we sat to
gether on the promenade deck and
watched the moonlight ripple over the
surface of the tides.
"A bachelor's life is but half a life,
Miss Willis," said I.
"I can readily imagine that," said she,
softly.
"I live in a flat," confessed I.
"Do you?" said Barbara (the sweet old
English name was just like her.) "Why,
how strange ! So do I!"
"Isn't it dreadful?" said I.
"Horrid !" said she, closing her rosy
lips as if she meant it.
"And there's a female dragon occupies
the floor above me, and torments me out
of my life.
"Well, il this isn't a remarkable
coincidence," said Barbara. "There's a
detestable old crab of a bachelor under
me, who takes all the pleasure out of my
existence!"
"Should two lives be thus blighted?"
said I, emphatically.
"I I don't think they should," said
Barbara, looking intently at the bouquet
of pansies she held in her hand.
It was past midnight when the boat
landed. Harold Webster came up.
"I promised to see you home, Miss
Willis," said he, rubbing his hands
briskly.
"You need not trouble yourself, Web
ster," said I. "I shall be most happy."
I called a hack; I helped the divine
Barbara in, feeling more and more as if
I were walking in cloudland.
"Where shall I drive to?" said the
man.
"No. 69 Bavenal street," said she,
"fourth floor!"
"What!" cried I, "not the 'Fernandino
Flats! "
"Exactly," said she.
"Why, that's where I live?"
"Are you the third floor?" she cried
out, breathless.
"Are you the fourth?" I counter
questioned. "But you're not a crab at all?"
"Nor are you a dragon. On the con
trary "
But what matters it what we said?
Things were altered from the very be
ginning. I took my violin up stairs the
next day, and helped my divine Barbara
out with a sonata of Beethoven's. I sug
gested a new educational theory for the
hob nailed classes. I listened enchanted
to her recitation of Tennyson's "Brook;"
and at the quarter's end we are to be
married Barbara and I.
Walking on the Water.
An exhibition of considerable interest
was given on the Hariem River, near
High Bridge, yesetrday afternoon, the
feat of locomotion afoot upon the surface
of the water being satisfactorily accom
plished. It was not precisely walking, but
was, if such a term may be used with re
ference to the water, more like skating.
The apparatus used was the result of a
doubt in the miud of the inventor, Mr.
W. C. Soule, as to the tiuth of what was
taught him at school that to walk on
the water by mechanical aid was impose
sible. The occasion of the first attempt
was the pre sence on tiie water-side, near
his home in Wayne county, of great num
bers of anipe in a place too deep for wading
and too thick with mud to be accessible
by a boat. So he made a sort of wooden
shoe, with swinging paddles on the under
side, which allowed for a forward push
without resistance, but took hold of the
water when the foot was drawn back giv
ing a leverage for propulsion.
The floats used yesterday by Mr. Soule
were made of sheet zinc, soldered air and
watertight. They were five feet long,ten
inches wide anil five inches deep. They
were also pointed at each end to reduce
the resistance to the water, having the
appearance of models of double-ended
canal boats, with perpendicular sides all
the way around. In the middle of the
upper side a hole, or "well," is sunk to re
ceive the foot of the wearer. This being
open at the top, and liable to receive
water, is separate from the water-tight
body of the "boat." The apparatus is
well braced inside for strength. The
propelling part is beneath, and consists
of two "gang" paddles, one at each end.
These sets of paddles, which open and
shut by the motion through the water
like a window blind (except that the sep
arate paddles are swung by the upper
side instead of by the middle), are held
by iron side pieces, which are fastened to
the zinc boats. Wires before and behind
hold these sets of paddles in place per
pendicularly under the boat.
When the walker on the water is
mounted in his "shoes," which resemble,
as they lie together on the water, the
double huils of the new steamship
Castalla, built for the English Channel, or
of a catamaran, he pushes forward with
one foot, the motion opening the paddles,
which yield to the water, giving no resis
tance. Then, as he pushes forward the
other foot, he Withdraws the former one,
closing the paddles, and pulling himself
forward by the resistance of the water.
The repetition of these motions consti
tutes the new system "of walking on
water. It is not dissimilar to the enort
required for the use of snowshoes, except
that there is no lifting necessary. The
name given the apparatus by the inven
tor is "water skates."
The useful purpose of the apparatus is
briefly described as enabling one to go
where he can neither a foot or in a boat.
One could iish or hunt after acquiring
facility in its use, and when tired could
sit down on his shoes." Mr. soule
crossed the river several times clothed in
an ordinary suit, and afterwards dived
into the water in a bathin&r suit, and re
gained his footing in the floating shoes
from the water. The exhibition attracted
much attention from the excursionists in
the vicinity, asd was repeated as often as
the- curious small boys in boats and the
frequent regular -landing of the steam
boats permitted. Neio ' York Ueruld.
Stone Language. The following is
the language of precious stones: White
stones, such as diamonds.and pearls, are
emblematic of "religious purity, faith,
joy and life;" red (the ruby) signifies
"hre, Divine love; blue (the turquois
and sapphire) express "truth, constancy
and felicity;" yellow or gold is the
sun, or the "goodness of Uod; green
(the emerald), "hope and immortality,"
victory, violet (the amethyst), "love
and truth," "passion and suffering."
The Skagit Mines a Humbug.
From the Evening Telegram.
I As much interest has been taken in
what has been called the Skagit mines,
j and many of our people are on the eve of
! taking their departure for the "gold
i fields," we have taken pains to become
informed of the value of the district, and
do not hesitate in denouncing it as a
fraud of the first water. We arrive at
this conclusion upon the best of evi
dence, which we give, hoping we will
not have occasion to again explode this
bauble. We extract as follows from a
letter written by Colonel Larrabee and
published in one of the Seattle papers,
which is interested in keeping up
THE SKAGIT BOOM.
"I see no reason to change the opinion
formed when I first saw Skagit gold last
fall. I think the time is not far distant
when the twelve miles of Ruby creek
will be one continuous flume, thus ex
posing its entire bed. Anywhere at the
shore the 'color' is obtained easily. Just
above our claim the Nip and Tuck hoys
took out in a few days 43 ounces, mostly
coarse gold, and this with the rudest ap
pliances. A few days ago a
man saved with a rocker 1 ounces with
three hours work, and this at the mouth
of the creek, six miles below Nip and
Tuck. We have men here who
have been mining
FOB THIRTY YEARS
In California, Mexico, Cassiar, and even
in South America and Australia. I
have conversed with a number of these
men, 'and they all agree that the indica
tions are far better here than any they
have seen elsewhere. The man
who opens his store first, and where he
finds men at work with skill and energy,
trusts them until the first clean up that
man will make his pile." The above let
ter is a fair sample of those written by
parties interested in keeping up the ex
citement in regard to the Skagit mines.
Mr. Larrabee, the writer, is a lawyer
who owns a share of the claim near the
Nip and Tuck ground. He is also inter
ested in town lots
IN BUBY CITY,
A city on paper only, there being only
two or three cabins and a few tents on
the site. He speaks of what old miners
say of the indications. Now let us see
what one of these same old miners says
over his own signature. Mr. J. E.
Bummel, who has had an experience of
28 years in the mines of this coast, spent
seyeral months prospecting on Buby,
Canyon and Granite creeks, and for the
benefit of his friends published, in a
Seattle paper, a full report of his pros
pecting operations, from which we ex
tract the following: "At the Tunnel
House I saw several men rocking. They
were making from 40 to 60 cents per day.
This is on the main Skagit. From there
on to Buby I saw other parties working
with no better success. These were men
trying to make a few dollars to take
them out out of the country and not to
have to beg their way. I camped on
Ruby creek for several weeks. Those
mining there were making about the
same. They could get about
ONE CENT PBOSPECT
To the pan in a two-inch strata of gravel
with from five to twenty-five feet of dirt
on top that would not prospect one color
to the pan. There is not a color lound
outside of the main stream, and not
enough in this to justify the working of
it. Even if this stream contained gold
in paying quantities it would take from
$2,500 to $3,000 to open every claim, so
a poor man would have no show. But
they never will be opened. They call
them creeks, but the meamnsr of the
word is lost when applied to R"uby or
vjrramw!, lur tuuy are nvertj. auu lartic
ones. There is not half an ounce of
gold-dust being taken out a day for all
the men in the so called mines. The
prospecting and mining that has been
done on Granite and Canyon has been
very unsatisfactory, and proved those
streams to be worthless. Where bed
rock was reached, only
A FEW FINE COLORS
Could be found. There is some fine
looking gold going the rounds, but it
was never taken out of the Skagit. I
have been offered one half of claims on
Ruby creek if I would bear the expenses
of opening them, but after a thorough
examination I could find nothing to jus
tify me in doing so. Claims can be had
along Ruby for from $5 to $50, part
down, and balance on bed-rock. You
can't sell $50 worth of grub here at any
price. I have seen tea, coffee, bacon
and sugar offered at five cents per pound
in a camp, but no buyers. There will
be no trail for animals this year, for
there is nothing found to justify the
building of it. There has been
THBEE MIXES OF BRUSH
Cut out on the supposed trail for which
the citizens of Seattle pretended to have
raised money for, but at the rate they are
working it will take them three years to
put it through, and it will cost $5000.
My advice to miners is to go slow and in
the opposite direction from Skagit." We
have before us another letter from
Eugene Murphy, an old California
micer, which was published by the Red
Bluff Sentinel, June 29th. Mr. Murphy
is even more emphatic in his denuncia
tion of the Skagit country than Bum
mel. He spent some four or five months
in the pretended mining regions, and in
that time fully satisfied himself of their
worthlessness. In his report he says:
"The Skagit region is a God -forsaken
country. There is but one claim opened
and that is a failure. The immigration
to the diggings is at present slim, three
persons leaving to one coming in. The
mines amount to just nothing at all, the
best spots yet found paying but $1 50
per day to the man. There is
NO DEMAND FOB LABOR,
As there is no ground th'at will pay to
work. Those hopeful ones who always
look on the bright side of everything
still think there may be something found
in the country, but nine-tenths of the
miners, a majority of whom are old
hands at the business, are disgusted with
the country. There are no hill claims
whatever, the hills being common solid
rock, the only indication of color being
obtained in the beds of the creeks. I
brought some quartz with me to San
Francisco and had it assayed. It panned
out from $1 to $3 10 to the ton nig
gardly poor. I have got all I want of
the Skagit, and advise no one to go
there." The above is only an extract of
Mr. Murphy's report, and goes to show
what practical miners think of the
Skagit mines after having thoronghly
tested them. We think the public less
liable to be deceived
BY DISINTERESTED MINERS
Than by interested lawyers. A few days
ago we hod an interview with an old ex
perienced miner who was stoping at
the St. Charles, and whom we have per
sonally known since 1852 when we mined
together in the placers of California, and
know him to be perfectly reliable. He
had just returned from the Skagit,
where he had been for upwards of two
months. In that time he did considera
ble prospecting, enough anyway to sat
isfy him that the country was a humbug,
and he so pronounced it. He said po
gold, whatever, had been found outside
the bed of Ruby creek, and that it would
cost $5 to get every one dollar out. Said
he, "There has been from 1800 to 2000
miners at the diggings, at times, since
the first of May, and now there are not
over 75 men in the mines all told." As
we said before, these reports from ex
perienced miners, based upon practical
tests, ought to outweigh the rose colored
accounts given by those interested in
WHOOPING UP AN EXCITEMENT.
However, we shall feel sorry for Col.
Larrabee, if he don't succeed in getting
some one to go to that camp, open a
store and trust him until the first clean
up, as that seems to be what's troubling
him most. But what any one wants of
trust in a country where one can, as he
says, go out and rock out yt ounces in
three hours, is past our finding out.
However, it has now been over a year
since the first effort was made to create
an excitement and rush to that region,
and if there had been any pay dirt there
not only one store, but a dozen or more
would have been established there long
since. Their absence is the best possible
proof that the mines are worthless.
One Cow.
The enterprising publishers of the
American Agriculturist have recently
offered prizes for essays setting forth the
practicability and profit of keeymig up a
cow, even for families living in cities
and towns. The first of these articles
they published in the June number. On
the subject they sav :
"Every family on a farm, of course,
keeps one or more cows, but we claim
that the dwellers in villages, and very
many cities, can and should each keep a
cow. Good milk is the best of all food
for young children, and it goes a great
way in saving butter bills, and in the
preparation of palatable, nourishing food
of many varieties. Actual results show
the economy of keening one's own cow
Two to five families, according to size
and numbers, can readily unite in having
one cow kept, dividmg the milk and ex
penses, and thus always have good,
pure, rich milk at very moderate cost
The suitable refuse from the kitchens of
three or four families would go a good
way toward reducing the cost of pur
chased food. In rural villages summer
pasturage can be obtained near at hand,
which, with a daily feed of good meal,
will furnish a large supply of rich milk
at low cost. A boy can be secured at a
small price to drive the cow to the pas
ture in the morning, and return her at
night to the stable. A stable or stall
can always be obtained at a trifling rent,
and be kept clean. There are always
plenty of gardeners or farmers who will
gladly take the manure away so fre
quently as to prevent it being a nuisance,
or disagreeable.
We have no doubt that all residents of
vallages, manufacturing towns, etc. , can
by arrangement like the above, secure
an abundant supply of pure, rich, fresh,
healthful milk at less than three cents
per quart, and at the same time add
greatly to their home comfort, and save
the health, if not the lives, of their little
ones.
How She Got Him.
Man's Age. Few men die of age
Almost all die of disappointment, pas-'
sion, mental, bodily toil or accidents.
The passion kill men sometimes, even
suddenly. The common expression
choked with passion has little exaggera
tion in it, for though not suddenly fatal,
strong passions shorten life. Strong-
bodied men often die young weak men
live longer than the strong, for the
strong use their strength, and the weak
have none to use. The latter take care
of themselves; the former do not. As it
is with the body, so it is with the mind
and temper. The strong are apt to
break, or like the candle, to run, the
weak to burn out. The inferior animals
which live temperate lives have gener
ally their prescribed number of years.
The horse lives 25; the ox 15 or 20; the
lion about 20; the dog 10 or 12; the rabbit
8; the guinea pig 6 or 7 years. These
numbers all bear a similar proportion tc
the time the animal takesto grow to its
full size. But man, of "the animals, is
one that seldom lives this average. He
ought to live a hundred years acrording
to physical law, for hve times twenty are
one hundred; but instead of that he
scarcely reaches an average of four times
his growing period ; the cat six times; the
rabbit even eight times the standard of
measurement. The reason is obvious
man is not only the most irregular and
the most intemperate, but the most
laborious and hard worked of all the
animals. He is also the most irritable of
all animals; and there is no reason to be
lieve, though we cannot tell what an ani
mal secretly feels, that, more than any
other animal, man, cherishes wrath to
keep it warm and consumes himself with
the fire of his own secret reflection.
Circling the North Polk. Lieut. Wey
precht's proposition for a circle of observ
ing stations around the north pole region,
i about to be practically carried out, says
Nature. The Danish government has re
solved to establish a station, at Upernivik.
in west Greenland ; the Russian govern
ment has granted a subsidy for an observ
atory at the mouth of the Lena, and an
other on the new Siberian islands; Count
Wilczek will defray the expenses of a
station on Nova Zambia under the direc
tion of Lieut. Weyprecht ; the U. S. Sig
nal Service Burea, under Gen.Myer, has
received permision to plant an observa
tory at Point Borrow, in Alaska ; and it is
expected that Canada will have a similar
establishment on some point of her Arctic
coast. At the Hamburg Conference it was
announced that Holland would furnish
the funds for a station in Spitzbergen ;
and it is expected that Norway wili have
an observing post on the extremity of the
Province of Jpintnark. This is a good be-
gining, and it is hoped that some sort of
agreement will be established to have all
the observations made after a uniform
method, otherwise their value will be
greatly decreased.
A Promising Youtu. A scapegrace un
der the charge of the Bridgwater (Eng
land) Board of Guardians, has manifested
extraordinary powers of invention. The
rumor has got abroad that the master, to
punish a refractory boy, had locked him
in the dead-house ; thai while there the
lad lifted a corpse out of a coffin, dressed
in his clothes, and then lay down in the
coffin himself; that by-and-by some one
came to give tne prisoner food, and of
fered it to the newly dressed corpse
when the lively urchin in the coffin
raised himself and spoke, frightening the
the person so much that he dropped the
food and bolted. The master was able
to show that the whole story was a fabri
cation, and traced it to the mischievous
boy whom he had had to report twice to
the guardians for conduct unbecoming a
pauper and an inmate of the workhouse.
A Detroit justice of the peace was the
other day interviewed by a woman about
45 years of age, who announced that she
would be married on a certain night at
her farm-house, and His Honor had been
selected to come out and perform the
ceremony. She asked how much the
fee was, and paid it and took a receipt.
Business concluded she sat down, filled a
short clay pipe with tobacco and indulged
in a smoke.
"You won't flunk out on this?" she
said, as she rose to go, after exhausting
the contents of her pipe.
"Oh, no I'll be there sure."
"So'li I and so'll he, or ITi know the
reason why! He's been clawing off a
little lately, but I'll make him toe the
mark, see if I don't."
"I hope, nothing unpleasant will oc
cur," observed the Court.
"I hope so too, but I'm going to be
prepared for a scrimmage just the same.
You always back the weaker sex, don't
you.'"
"Y-yes, soitly replied the justice.
"So do I, and I guess we'll be all
right. Don't you forget the date."
His Honor went out' on the night ap
pointed, prepared to perform the cere
mony with promptness and good will
He found about a dozen persons as
sembled at the house, and the woman
looked gorgeous under the light of three
kerosene lamps. She had her pipe going,
and her face was covered with a bland
smile as she shook hands and said :
"Take a cheer. The old man isn't
here yet, but I'll send for him." Then,
turning to a boy in the room, she con
tinued:
"Samuel, go and tell the old man it's
time to come in and be spliced.
Samuel departed on his errand, and
after the lapse of ten minutes he re
turned and responded:
"The old man is over to Martin's
He's got his boots off and is whittling
out a wooden cat, and I don't believe
he cares two cents about being married
to vou or anybody else.
The widow refilled her pipe, took
several strong whiffs and then said to a
long-legged farmer who seemed hungry
for the bridal feast:
"Moses, you go over and tell Noah I
want him!
"Moses departed. He was absent ten
minutes, and then lounged in and said:
"Says he is quite comfortable where
he is. Guess he isn't very much on the
marry.
"Judge," began the woman as she
looked around for her bonnet, "you
play a game of fox-and-geese with
Moses while I go over and see about
this thing. There's going to be a marriage
to night, and I'll bet a new hoss-rake on-
it!"
She was absent about twenty min
utes, and then returned in company
with Noah. He had neither coat nor
hat on, and only one boot, and both
were panting for breath.
"G-go ahead, Judge!" she gasped, as
she hauled the groom into the centre
of the room. "He heard me coming
and got out and run four tunes around
the orchard, but here he is.
"Do you want to marry this woman?"
asked the official, as he gave Noah a look
ing over.
"Yaas," was the blunt reply.
"Then why did you run away ?"
" 'Spose I'm going to give right in
the first thing?" demanded the indig
nant Noah. "I'll go and fix up and
come back."
"No, darling; no you wont, my pet
amethyst !" chuckled the widow. "We'll
be married right here and now, boots or
no boots!"
She crowded him against the table.
Moses stood behind the pair to render
any needed aid, and the knot was soon
tied. As soon as the ceremony was
over Noah skipped out of the back
door, but no one pursued. The widow
called the guests to supper and re
marked: "Sit right down and don't worry
about the groom. I've been nine years
working him up to this, but he'll be a
little bashful for a few weeks to come.
Have some of the roast pig, Mr. Court?"
Detroit Free "Press.
HOUSEHOLD NOTES.
A Lion's Skin fob a Dollar. An
Arizona paper relates an exploit by a
Mexican, which, for downright foolish
ness, puts to flight any of the daring
performances of.the heroes of Beadle's
"yaller-backs." It appears that the
Mexican, accompanied by his dog, was
on his way to Tempo to do some trad
ing, when the dog treed a large Cal
ifornia lion. The man was unarmed,
save with a large butcher-knife, but,
nothing daunted, and knowing where he
could sell the skin for a dollar, he
whipped out bis knife and started up the
tree after this specimen of the king of
beasts. Slipping up within reaching
distance, he plunged the knife into the
animal just behind the shoulder, which
so startled him that he leaped to the
ground and was instantly bounced by
the dog, when the man hastened from
the tree, sprang upon the beast, and
planted a home-thrust through his
heart, without further damage to himself
than having his hat torn in pieces. The
lion measured about eight feet from the
tip of his nose to the tip of his tail, and,
had he got one good blow at the man, he
would have mashed him into a jelly. Mr.
Edwards informed us that this same
Mexican killed one of these beasts,
about three months ago, that measured
over nine feet from tip to tip, using no
other weapon than a small pistol and a
knife, and that he came near losing his
life in that encounter.- Mr. Edwards
pays him one dollar each for the hides,
and is tanning them for boot leather.
Mibth. Dr. Greene, in his "Problem
of Health," says there is not the re
motest corner or little inlet of the
minutest blood-vessel of the human
body that does not feel some wavelet
from the convulsion occasioned by good,
hearty laughter. The life principle, or
the inner man, is shaken to the inner
most depths, sending new tides of life
and strength to the surface, thus materi
ally tending to insure good health to the
" m 1 i 1 mi
persons who inauige werein. xne
blood moves more rapidly, and convoys
a different impression to all the organs
of the body, as it visits them on that par
ticular mystic journey when tne man is
laughing, from what it does at other
times. For this reason, every good,
hearty laugh which a person indulges in
tends to lengthen his life, conveying, as
it does, a new and distinct stimulus to
the vital force. Doubtless the time will
come when physicians, conceding more
importance than they now do to the in
fluence of the mind upon the vitai forces
of the body, will make their perscriptions
more with reference to the mind, and
less to drugs for the Jjody, and wjjj, in
so doing, And the best and most effective
method of producing the required effects
upon the patient.
Raspberry Fritters. Make a batter of
a pint of milk, one egg, a little salt, and
enough flour.to make a mixture that will
drop from a spoon. Add a cup of fine
raspberries, with a tablespoonful of gran
ulated sugar mixed with them. Fry in
hot lard and dust with powdered sugar.
Spanish Fritters. Cut the crumb of
a French roll into lengths, as thick as
your finger, in what shape you will.
Soak in some cream or milk, nutmeg,
sugar, pounded cinnaman and an egg.
When well soaked, fry of a nice brown ;
and serve with butter, wine and sugar
sauce. Pan Doddlings. This is a New Eng
land dish, and is nice at the seaside, where
appetites are expansive. Take three
cups of fine rye meal, three cups of In
dian meal, one egg, and three tablespoon
fuls of molasses , add a little salt and all
spice and enough rich sweet milk to make
a batter stiff enough to drop from a
spoon. Fry to a good brown in hot lard.
Excellent Coffee Cake. This is one
of the plain cats, and is ery easily
made. Take one cup of strong cofi'ee in
fusion, one cup of molasses,one cup sugar,
one-half cup butter, one egg. and one tea
spoonful saleratus. Add spice and raisins
to suit the taste, and enough flour to make
a reasonably thick batter. Bake rather
slowly in tinpans lined with buttered
paper.
Chicken Hash. Thu is the proper way
to serve for bieakfast whatever roast or
boiled chicken may be lett over from din
ner. Mince the cold chicken, but not
very fine, and to a cupful of meat add two
tablespoonfuls good butter, a half cup of
milk, enough minced onion to give a
slight flavor, and salt, mace and pepper
to taste. Stew it, taking care to stir it,
and serve daintily with a garnish of
parsley. Every particle of bone must be
extracted.
Lemon Pickle. Wipe six lemons, cut
each into eight pieces ; put on them a
pound ot salt, six large cloves of garlic,
two ounces of horse-radish sliced thin,
likewise of cloves, mace, nutmeg and
cayenne, a quarter of an ounce each, and
two ounces of flour of mustard ; to these
put two quarts of vinegar. Boil a quarter
of an hour in a well-tinned saucepan ; or,
which is bfttter, do it in a strong jar, in a
kettle ot boiling water, or set the jar on
the hot hearth till done. Set the jar by,
and stir it daily for six weeks ; keep the
jar close covered. Put it into small bottles.
Rupture
A Spoiled Sermon. A Yarmouth
(Me.) preacher, while illustrating the
need and efficacy of prayer, drew an
illustration from his own experience. He
was out on a lake in a boat, when by
mischance he lost both oars. The wind
was rising, night was coming on and he
was in imminent danger of being
swamped and finding a watery grave
What could he do ? Evidently nothing
for himself, so he knelt down and prayed
lone and fervently for dehverence. He
placed himself in the hands of the Lord
and so was saved. So he passed from
one thing to another, and at last the ser
mon was finished. He raised his hands
to pronounce the benediction. The
audience stood with bowed heads wait
ing for the gracious words, when old
Captain Sweetser, of North Yarmouth, a
rugged old sea-dog, cried out: ay,
Mr. Preacher, I want you to tell me how
you got ashore ?" The audience was still
no more, but broke into a roar, and it
was fully five minutes before the minis
ter could explain that a man saw him
from the shore and put out in another
boat and took him off. But the effect
for good of one sermon was spoiled.
The Talkative Judge. A long-winded
lawyer lately defended a criminal unsuc
cessfully, and during the trial the Judge
received the following note: "The pris
oner humbly prays that the time occu
pied by the plea of the counsel for the
defense be counted in his sentence."
This recalls an incident in our State
Supreme Court. The late Michael San
ford was arguing a case and the late
Judge Gould was presiding. The Judge
had interrupted the counsel considera
bly, and when he reminded the counsel
that his "hour was up," the latter said:
"Well, your Honor ought to give me
half an hour more, for you have talked
half the time since I have been on my
feet." The same Judge once fell into a
ferry-way, and, unable to swim, he had
the presence of mind to turn on his back
and float until he was rescued. In nar
rating the circumstance to a lawyer, he
said: "All I had to do was to keep on
my back with my mouth shut for three
minutes." The lawyer exclaimed:
"Judge, how did you manage to keep
your month shut so long?" f Exchange.
Singing as a Pbeventive of Consump
tion. The statement has been made that
during the last twenty-five years not a
single singer has died of consumption at
St. Petersburg, although this disease has
outstripped all others, and now holds
the first place among the causes of death
in the Bussian Capital. From this and
other facts Dr. Vasilieff draws an infer
ence in favor of the exercise involved in
singing as a preventi ve measure against
consumption. A London medical writer,
however, argues that there is room for
question as to the relation of cause and
effect in this matter, for, though it may
either happen that singers are not con
sumptive because they can use their
throat and chest freely, or that consump
tive persons are not singers because the
weakness which precedes disease in
capacitates the chest and throat for exer
tion, neither of these hypotheses though
true up to a certain point holds good in
all cases; in fact very little observation
will suffice to show that a good singing
voice may co-exist with a weak or dis
eased chest, whereas the perfeetly
healthy may be really unable to sing.
$661
A WEEK in vour own town and no
capital risked. You can give the
business a trial without expense.
The best opportunity ever offered for
those willing to work. You should try nothing
else until you see for yourself what you can do at
the business we offer. No room to explain here.
You can devote all your time or only your spare
time to the business, aud make great pay for
every hour you work. Women make as much
as men. Send for special private terms and par
ticulars, which we mafl free. $6 outfit free.
Don't complain of hard times while you have
such a chance. Address H. II AL LETT & CO,.
Portland, Maine. 10:31yl
$15
TO $6000 A YEAR, or $5 to $20 a day
in your own locality. No risk. Wo
men do as well as men. Many make
more than the amount stated above.
No one can fail to make money fast. Any one
ean do the work You can make from 50cts to
$2 an hour by devoting your evenings and spare
time to the business It costs nothing to try the
business. Nothing like it for money making
ever offered before Business pleasant and strict
ly honorable Reader, if you want to know all
about the best paying business before, the public,
send us your address and we will send you full
particulars and private terms free; samples worth
$5 also free: you can then make up your mind
for yourself Address GEORGE STINSON &
CO., Portland, Maine. 16:31yl
From a Merchant.
Daytok, W. T., Feb. 10, 1879.
W. J. Home, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss Co. , 702 Market street, San Francisco Sir:
The Truss I purchased of you about one year ago
has proved a miracle to me. I have been ruptur
ed forty years, and worn dozens of different kinds
pf Trusses, all of which have ruined my health,
as they were injurious to my back and spine.
Your valuable Truss is as easy as an old shoe, and
is worth hundreds of dollars to me, as it affords
me so much pleasure. I can and do advise all,
both ladies and gentlemen, afflicted, to buy any
wear your modern improved Elastic Truss imme
diately. I never expect to be cured, but am
satisfied and happy with the comfort it gives me
to wear it It was the best $10 I ever invested in
mv life. You can refer any one to me, and I
will be glad to answer any letters on its merrits.
I remain, yours respectfully,
D. B. Bunnell.
Latest Medical Endorsements.
Mabtinez, Cal., Feb. 17, 1879.
W. J. Heme, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss Co., 702 Market street, S. F. Sir: In re
gard to your California Elastic Truss, I would say
that 1 have carefully studied its mechanism, ap.
plied it in practice, and do not hesitate to sa
that for all purposes for which Trusses are worn
it is the best Truss ever offered to the public
Yours truly, J. H. Carothkrs, M D.
Endorsed by ' prominent medical in
stlute. San Francisco, March 6, 189.
W. J. Home, Esq. Sir: You ask my opinion
of the relative merits of your Patent Elastic
Truss, as compared with other kinds that have
been tested under my observation, and in reply I
frankly state that from the time my attention
was first called to their simple, though highly
mechanical and philosophical construction, to
gether with easy adjustibility to persons of all
ages, forms or sizes. I add this further testimony
with special pleasure, that the several persons
who have applied to me for aid in their special
cases of rupture, and whom I haveadvised to use
yours, all acknowledge their entire satisfaction,
and consider themselves highly favored by the
possession of the improved Elastic Truss.
Yours truly, Babl-iW J. Smith, M. D.
Proprietor Hygienic Medical Institute,
635 California street, San Francisco.
A REMARKABLE CURE.
San Frakcisco, Oct 26, 1879.
W. J. Home, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss, 702 Market street, San Francisco Sir I
am truly grateful to you for the wonderful CURE
your valuable truss has effected on my little boy.
The double truss I purchased from you has PER
FECTLY CURED him of his painful rupture on
both sides in a little over six months. The steel
truss he had before 1 bought yours caused him
cruel torture, and it was a happy day for us all
when he laid it aside for the California Elastic
Truss. I am sure that all will be thankful who
are providentially led to give your truss a trial.
You may refer any one to me on this subject.
Yours truly, Wm. Pkbu,
638 Sacramento Street.
This is to crtify that 1 have examined the son
of Wm Peru, and find him PERFECTLY
CURED of Hernia on both sides.
L. Dexter Lyfokd, M. D.
Surgeon and Physician.
Trusses forwarded to all parti of the United States
at our expense on receipt of price.
Send Stamp for Illustrated Catalogue
aud Prlee i.ihi.
Giving full information and rules for measuring.
California Elastic Truss Co.
702 Market Street, S. F.
HALL'S
SAFE AND LOCK CO.
CAPITAL, 91 00O,OOO.
General Office and Manufactory,
CINCINNATI, OHIO.
Pacific Branch,
all and 313 California St., San Francisco.
CHAS. 11. DODD &. CO., PORTLAND,
Agents for Oregon and Washington Ter
IHLL'S P i f ENT CONCRETE
FIRE-PROOF SAFES.
Have burn tested by fhe most disastrous confla
grations in the country.
They are thoroughly fire proof.
They are free from daiopiioss.
Their superiority is beyond question.
Although about 150,(100 of these sales are now
in use, and hundreds have been tested by some
of the most disastrous conflagrations in the
country, there is not a single instance on record
wherein one of them ever failed to preserve its
conten perfeetly.
HALL'S PATENT DOVETAILED
TKXON AMI QBOOVa
Have never been broken open and robbed by
burglars or robbers.
Hall's burglar work is protected by letter
patent, and his work canuot be equaled lawfully.
His patent bolt is superior l any in use.
His patent locks eannot be picUo.'.i by the most
skillful experts or burglars.
By one of the greatest improvements known,
the Gross Automatic Movement, our locks aro
operated withont any arbor or spindle passing
through the door and into the lock.
Our locks cannot be opened or picked by bur
glars or experts, (as in case of other loeks), and we
will put from '$1,0(10 o 10,000 behind them any
timo :i .11 nst an eaua! amount.
THEY ARE THE BEST SAFE
Made in America, or any other country.
One I" 1 1 on.-;; i ml Uollnvs
To any person who c n prove that one of Hall's
patent burglar-proof safe6 has ever been
broken open and robbed by
burglars up to the
jresent lime.
C. W. Pool, Traveling Agent.
Office with C. H. Dodd A Co., Portland, Oregon.
C. B. PIRCELLS. Manager, S. F.
job PftmrmG,
THE-
Gazette Job Piloting House
IS NOW PREPARED TO DO
Plain and Ornamental Printing,
A neat and Cheap as it ean be done by any
Ofhce on the i:oast.
bill Het
L,. tier flails
i 4a piiiciil",
t o-, r.itctmca,
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lnvit'tlr
tTtri-H'wr,
kimIiic - wrl.
Yiolltux I nrda,
Lkbr a
lol4ra
Mtmll Poster.
KuvelatM a
l egat Itlauka1
Banii Not.-".
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o d-r Rooua,
Una,
Tsr.
i-., Ete.
jSS-Or8rs by mail promptly -filled. Esti
mates fumibbeJ.