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About The Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 31, 1879)
1 Corvallis Gazette. PUBLI8HED EVERY FRIDAY f0RNiG BY W. 33. CARTK II, Editor and Proprietor. Corvallis Gazette. TERMS: (coin.) She BATES Of ADVERTISING. I 1 w i m 8 M. 6 m. i rr. 1 I una . i DM 3 00 6 00 8 00 18 00 2 " 2 00 5 00 7 00 12 00 18 OP 8 " I 3 00 6 00 I 10 00 I 16 00 83 Ot " 1 00 I 7 00 I 13 00 I 18 00 I 20 00 K Col. I 6 CO 1 900115 001200018500 Y " 7 f 6 12 00 18 f0 85 00 I g 00 Va t 10 35 i 15 0.1 i 25 00 40 00 60 00 I " I 15 00 gp 00 40 00 60 00 1 100 Of Per Year, Six Months, Three Booth, S .10 1 ffv 1 Ol i INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. VOL. XVI. CORVALLIS, OREGON, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 31, 1879. NO. 44. CITY ADVERTISEMENTS. M. WOODCf CK, Attorney and Counselor at Law, CITY ADVERTISEMENTS. Or.VAU.IH OFFICE OX-FIRST STREET, OPP. WOOD COCK J BALDWIN'S Hardware store. Scial attention given to Collections, Fore closure of Mortgages, Real Estate cases, Probate anl liuMtl matter. Will nlso i ar on.I sell City Property and Farm Laniifc, tttt rdawinuMe terms. March 20, ISTtf. 16-I2yl CORVALLIS Livery, Feed ...AND... SALE STABLE, P. A. CHENOWETH. F. M. JOHNSON. i CHENOWETH & JOHNSON, ATTORNEYS AT LAW COHNALLIS .... HHH.O.V September 4, 1879. 16:36tf J. W RAYBUR', ATTORNEY AT LAW, unviiji-i, oioo.. OFFICE On Monroe street, between Second and Third. Bfuln tit.. Co val it Oregon. SOL. KING, - Porpr. jSarSpecial attention given to the Collection of IS'utes and Accounts. 16-ltf J'MES A. YANTI8, Attorney and Counselor at Law, OHVAL1.IK, - - . OKLOit yiLL PRACTICE IX ALL THE COURTS of the State. Special attention given to matters in Piobate. Collections will receive e ompt and careful attention. Office in the Court fouse. 16:ltf. DR F. A. V NCENT, DENTIST. COIlVAl.t.IH - TtEGOVV. (-JWXIXG BOTH BARNS I AM PREPARED to orier superior accommodations in the Liv ery line. Always ready for a drive, OOOI TEAMS At Io w Kiit es. My stables are first class in every iy.ytt.end competent and obliging hustlers alwuyg ready to serve the public. REASONABLE CttABtif F0tt IHE. Particular attention Pl.l la Huanliuji ot Hen. ELEGAXT HEARSK, CVRKHGES AXD II At KS FOR FUNERALS Corvallis, Jan. 3, 1879. 16:lyl QFFICE IX FISHER'S BRICK OVER Max. Friendley's Sew Store. All the 'atest improvements. Everyth'ug new and complete. All work warranted. Plea e give me a call. 15:3tf Woodcock & Baldwin G. R. FARRA, M. O, PHYMG1AN AMD M'RGEOA, rjFFICE OVER GRAHAM 4 HAMILTON'S v Drug 8tore, Corvallis, Oregon. M-SOtf J. R. BRYSON, ATTORNEY AT LAW. All bttsiness -will receive prompt attention. COLLECTIONS A SPECIALTY Corvallis, July 14, 1879. 16:29tf NEW TIN SHOP J. K. Webber, Pro., MAIN (St,. - COHVALI.IW STOVES AND Tl V WARE All Kinxl-. gf-Al work warranted and at reduced rates. 12:13tf. W. C. CRAWFORD, DEALER IX g WATCriES, CLOCKS, JEWELRY, SPECTACLES, SILWEIt WARE, etc. Also, Musloal lntrumcnti fco Sf Repairing done at the most reasonable rates, and all work warranted. Corvallis, Dec. 13, 1877. 14:50tf GRAHAH, HAMILTON & CO., CORVALLIS - . . OKCtiON. DEALERS IX Drugs, Paints, MEDICINES, CHEMICALS, DYE STIFFS, OILS. CLASS AND PUTTY. PURE WINES AND LQU0R FOR MEDICINAL USE. And also the the very best assortment of Lamps and Wall Paper ever brought to this place. (Successors to 3. R Bayley & Co,) XT EEP CONSTANTLY OX HAND AT THE old stand a large and complete stock of Heavy and Mielf Hardware, IRON, STEEL, TOOLS, STOVES, RANG', ETC Manufactured and Home Made Tin and Copper Wi-, Pumps. Pipe, Etc. A good Tinner constantly on hand, ami all Job Work neatly and quickly don. Also agents for Knapp, Burrell St Co., for the sale of the beat and latest im proved FADM M ACIX fNERY, of all kinds, together with a full assort ment of Agricultural Implements. Sole Agents for the celebrated ST. LOUIS CHART! R OIK S 0VES the BE8T IN THE WORLD. Also the Norman Range, and many other patterns, in all sizes and styles. IQT Particular attention paid to Farmers' wants, and the supplying extras for Farm Machinery, and all information as to tui-h ! articles, furnished cheerfully, on appiica J tion. No pains will be spared to furnii-h our j customers with the best goods in market, 1 in our line, and at the lowest prices. I Our motto ehall be, i.n nipt and fair dealing with all. Call and examine our stock, before going elsewhere. Satisfac tion guaranteed. WOOKCOCK & BALDWIN'. Corvallis, May. 12, 1879. 14:4tf LANDS! FaRMS ! HOMES I f HAVE FARMS, (Improved and unira m proved,) STORES and MILL PROPERTY, cry desirable, FOR SALE. These lands are cheap. Also claims in. unsurveyed tracts for sale. Soldiers of the late rebellion who have, under h e Soldiers' Homestead Act, located and made final proof on less han 160 acres, can dispose of the balance to me. Write (with stamps to prepay postage). R. A. BENSELL, Newport, Benton countv, Oregon. 16:2tf ULE1 & WOODWARD, Drug-gists and Apothecaries, P. 0. BUILDING. C0RVALLI8, OREGOX. Have a complete stock of DRUGS, MEDICINES, PAINT?, Oil, BUS , IT, ITC. School Pookstationcny, feo. AGENTS FOR TIIK AV'BIU IH nu PINT, SLTKKIOR TO ANY OTHER. or Flylelif t e cripllom ' are IMIr I utpuiaiileJ. We buy for Cash, and have choice of the FRESHEST and PUREST Drugs and Medicnes the market affords. Prescriptions accurately prenared at half the usual rates. 2MaylG:18tf FRESH COODS AT THE BAZAR FASHIONS Mrs. K. A. KNIGHT. CORVALL1K, - OBifi')V. Has just received from San Fran' isco, the larg est and Best St. ck of Millinery (tooo?, Dress Trimmings, Etc., Ever brought to Corvallis. wh ch I will sell at pr.ces i bat defy competition. Airearjr for Base. . eamret' re; tub. e Patterns. 25aprl6:17tf CITY ADVERTISEMENTS. orvallla Lodge Bo 14, r. A. M. Holds stated Ccmmunications on Wednesday on or preceding each full moon. Brethren in good standing cordially invited to attend. By order W. M. Bar a am I odge Wo. 7, I. . o. . Meets on Tuesday evening of each week, in their hall, in Fisher's brick, second story. Mem bers of the order in good standing invited to at tend. By order of N. G. ROBERT N. BAKSR. Fashionable Tailor, "PORMKRLY OF ALBX"Y, WHERE HE has given his iatrons perfect satisfaction, has determined to locate in Corvallis, where he hopes to be favored with a share of the public patronage. All work warranted, when made under his supervision. Repairing and cleaning promptlv attended to. Corvallis, Xov. 28, 1878. 15:4811. JOHN S. BAKER, PRO ORVM.IS, - - WKKKON. TIAVIXG BOUGHT THE ABOVE MAR ket and fixtures, and permanently located in Corvallis, I will keep constantly on nand the choicest cuts of BEEF, PORK, MUTTON AND VEAL. Especial attention to making extra Bologna Sausage. Being a practical butcher, with large experi ence in business, I flatter myself that 1 can give satisfaction to customers. Please call and give me a trial. JOHX S. BAKER. Dec 6th, 1878. 15:49tf. Grain Storage ! A Word to Farmers. TIAVIXG PURCHASED THE COMMODI ous warehouse of Messrs. King and Bell, and thoroughly overhauled the same, I am now ready to receive grain for storage at the reduced Tin to of -4- ets. per Bushel 1 am also prepared to Keep Extra, White Wheat, separate from other lots, thereby enabling me to SELL AT A PREMIUM. Also prepared to pay the H ifphest Market Price. for wheat, and would most respectfully solicit a share of public patronage. T. J. BLAIR. Corvallis, Aug. I, 1878. 15:32tf IT 132. HARRIS, One door South of Graham A Hamilton's, COBvALLIR, OBEuvX. GROCERIES PRO VISIONS, AND Dry Goods. Corvallis, Jan. 3, 1878. l:lvl - DRAKE & GRANT, MERCHANT TAILORS, can V AH.1S. ORKOeS. WTE HAVE JUST RECEIVED A LARGE and well selected stock of Cloth, viz : "WeT of I'-iiKlund B road t loths, re n oil asslmeres, Kootoh Tweeds, and American oultlnfr. Which we will make up to order in the most approved and lash enable styles. Xo pains will be spared in producing good fitting garments. Parties wishing to purchase cloths and have them cut out, will do well to call and examine our stock. DRAKE A GRANT. Corvallis, April 1 7, 1879. I6:16tf Boarding: and Lodging-. Philomath, Beaton Co , Oregon. GEORGE K1SOR, RESPECTFULLY INFORMS THE TBAV eling public that he is now prepared and in readiness to keep such boarders as may choose to give him a call, either by the SINGLE MEAL. DAY. OR WEEK. Is also prepared to furn'sh horse feed. Liberal share of public patronage solicited. Give us a call. GEORGE KISOR. Philomath, April 28, 1879. I0:18tf AijBeet PygaijL. I WiiLlAM Iewik. PYGALL & IRWIN, City Trucks & Drays, TIAVING PURCHASED THE DRAYS AND Tracks lately owned by James Eglin, we are prepared to do all kinds of City HauilnB. ueUrerlas of Wood, Etc., Eio., in the city or country, at reasonable rates. Pat ronage solicited, and satisfaction guaranteed in all cues. ALBERT PYGALL, WILLIAM IRWiN. Corvallis, Dec 20, 1878. 15:51tf J. C. MORELAND, (cmr ATTORNEY.) ATTORNEY A.T H.A.W, PORTLAND, - . OFFICEMonastes' Brick, First street, between Morrison and Yamhill. 14:38tf THE STAR BAKERY, a I a Street, Corvallla. HENRY WARRIOR, PROPRIETOR. Family Supply Store ! Groceries, Bread. Calces, Piois, Candied, Toys, Always on Hand. Corvallis, Jan. 1, 1877. H:2U Dining in Japan. There is no plan, no form, in a Jap anese dinner, simply to dine with com fort. Of the quality of the food I have not confidence enough in my judgment to give an opinion. Dining has appeared to be one of the misfortunes that came with Adam's fall, and I have never been able to think of it with enthusiasm. I know that this is a painful confession, the display of ignorance and want of taste, but it cannot be helped. I gave myself seriously to my dinner, because I am fond of Mr. Yoshida, and his gracious and refined hospitality. Then I thought it would be something that I might want to write about. But the dinner was be yond me. I cannot say I disliked it, and I liked it about as well as nineteen out of twenty of the dinners yon have in New York. It was picturesque and pleasing, and in all its appointments so unlike any thing in our close and compact way of living that you felt somehow that you were having a good time; you felt like laugh ing, and if you gave way to your impulse it would have been to roll about on the floor in the delight and abandon of boy hood. If you did not want to eat you could smoke, and if not to smoke to drink and there was drinking, smoking and eating all the time. Your attendants were maidens, comely and fair, who knelt in the middle of the floor and watched you with amusing features, fanning you and noiselessly slipping away your dish es and bringing new ones. They were so modest, so graceful, that you became un conscious of their presence. They be came, as it were, one of the decorations of the dinner. They watched the guests and followed their wishes, as far as com fort was concerned. Beyond that I saw no word or glance of recognition. At home your servants are personages with all the attributes of hum an nature, and sometimes in a form so aggravated that they become a serious care, and you dine under fear in the presence of some oppres sive responsibility. But oui maidens might have been sprites, they were so far from us, and at the same time the grace and quickness made the mechanism of our dinner smooth and noiseless. My main impression was that we were having a good time, that we were amusing our selves, playing, romping not dining, I have never been upon the stage, but I can fancy that if I had taken part in a comedy I should have had the same sensations with which I enjoyed Mr. Yoshida's din ner that I was having a merry time and giving others a merry time. To chat and listen, to lie prone on the floor and see the red lanterns among the trees, to see the universe beyond, the cabn and infinite stars, to run into light and airy talk about music, and books, and songs, and folk lore, to hear our friends tell us of the martial songs of Japan, and chant for us some ol their stirring strains; to try and tell them something of our own martial songs, what our soldier boys sang during the war; to note the energy and conscientious desire to please and give instruction with which the Colonel sang "John Brown," and "Sher man's March Through Georgia," and "Johnny Comes Marching Home" these are the "impressions I recall. Neither the Colonel or mj-self knew any thing about the words or music of these songs, nor about music in general, and would have given a large part of our fortunes if for that evening at least we had had any musical faculty. But what could we do ? Our friends were curious on the subject and there was no way of changing the theme, and we told ali we knew who John Brown was, and what Sherman marched for, and who Johnny was supposed to be. There was a line in the Sherman song something about the soldiers marching oft with turkey gob blers which amused our friends, al though it was difficult to explain to them the meaning of the word "gobblers." Our evening with the Prince was very pleasant. He lives in palatial style. He has many children, and children's children have come to bless his declining years. He took an apparent pride in E resenting us to the various members of is family. Our dinner was served partly in European, partly in Japanese style. There were chairs, a table, knives, forks, napkins, bread and champagne. This was European, There were chop sticks, seaweed jellies, raw fish, soups of fish and ,sal vi. This was Japanese. There was as a surprise a special compliment to our nation a compliment that came in the middle of the feast a dish of baked pork and beans which would have done honor to Boston. Who inspired this dish and who composed it are mys teries. It came into our dinner in a friendly way, and was so well meant and implied such an earnest desire to please on the part of our host that it became idyllic, and conveyed a meaning that I venture to siy was never expressed by a dish of pork and beans since the May flower came to our shores. The dinner over, we sat on tire porch and looked out upon the river. In the court-yard there were jugglers who performed tricks nota ble for dexterity, such as making a fan go around the edge of an umbrella, and keeping s bevy of balls in the air on the wing like birds. Then we returned home, put of the way by river, and as the night had fallen in the meantime, and the sea was too high for us to ven ture out in the boats, the remainder in carriages. Correspondent 2f. Y. Herald. Pittsburg, Pa has been greatly troubled about its water supply, which is pumped from the Alleghany river. The oil wells and refineries higher up the river cover its surface with crude oil, and throw in tar and acids which move sluggishly along the bottom. The city tired of drinking petroleum has spent several million dollars building new pumping works five' or six miles higher up the stream. At first the new pnmp drew in gravel, oil and acids, but it is hoped that these have been escaped by carrying pipes 180 feet ont into the river, and building a crib of railroad iron, timbers and stones through which the waters is filtered below the river sur face. It remains to be seen, however, whether the cribs will withstand the win ter's ice. Sargent s. Prentiss. A Broadway house is soon to issue a new edition of the memoirs of Sargent S. Prentiss, originally edited by his brother, and published almost a quarter of a century ago. Pew persons of this generation know anything of Prentiss, who died in 1850, and was in many respects a very remarkable man. He was consid ered, in his day, the most eloquent orator in the South, and he probably was such, many persons ranking him as superior to Henry Clay in his best estate. He was, like so many men who have distinguish ed themselves in the South, native to and educated in the North, having been born in Portland, Me., been graduated at Bowdoin, and studied law at Gorham, in that State, before he reached his majority he went South to seek his fortune, and resolved to settle at Natchez, Miss., where he was admitted to the bar at twenty-one. Three years later he re moved to Vicksburg, and gained a high reputation as an advocate. He was sent to the State Legislature and to Congress; but, soon dissatisfied with politics, he devoted most of his time to his profes sion. He was a Whig, and. as a candi date for Presidential elector, stumped the State for General Harrison. Strongly opposed to repudiation, and using all his influence against it, he was so dis gusted with the course of Mississippi that he quitted the State and went to New Orleans to reside, returning only during his last illness to Natchez, where he died in his forty-second year, his fame as an orator was wide-spread, and the memoirs contain many sprcimens of his eloquence. Henry Clay, writing of him after his death, said: "He was distin guished by his rich, chaste, immeasur able imagination, and exhaustless re sources of which he brought in a beauti ful language and happy illustrations to the aid of ample logical power." John J. Crittenden said: "It was impossible to know him without feeling for him ad miration and love. Hi genius was rich and rare; his heart warm generous and magnanimous; his manner particularly graceful and genial. Eloquence was part of his nature. Over his private conversation as well as his public speech es he scattered its sparkling jewels with more than royal profusion." When Prentiss went from the North to Missis sippi, and became prominent at the bar, several rival lawyers, obeying the "chiv alrous customs of the South, sought to draw him into quarrels, hoping to get rid of him by fighting him away or kill ing him in a rencontre or duel. He was intrepid as Leonidas,and though opposed to duelling on principal, adopted it in practice, because he believed that, hav ing made his home in the South, he could not well do otherwise. He often said, ' 'If a man does not fight down here, his courage is suspected, and as fighting is the fashion I have decided to follow it." He gave everybody satisfaction who asked for it, and the community, seeing his perfect willingness to shoot and be shot at, tempered its pugnacity with discretion. N. Y. Times. The Commemobation op Pompeii's De struction Eighteen Hundbed Yeabs Aoo. The destruction of Pompeii eighteen centuries ago, was recently commemorated in the presence of an iin msnse concourse of spectators, mainly from Italy, and of scientific men from every country in the world. The weath er was beautiful, and the guests had a delightful day to wander among the ruins and examine the relics which have been removed from the ancient city. From a pavilion erected in the ancient Basilica, Professor Huggleri, the director of the excavations, delivered an address, explaining the newest mode of prosecut ing discoveries, and giving an account of some of the more important discoveries that have been made since the excavations were commenced. He attempted to de scribe to the guests assembled in the city as it must have appeared eighteen hundred years ago, and referred to the account of the destruction of the city and Herculaneum as recounted by the young er Pliny in his famous letter to Tacitus, giving an account of the death of his uncle, the elder Pliny. Count Guan ciali and Mgr. Mirabelli then declaimed Latin verses, commemorating the event1 Alter a visit to the ruins excavations were begun under Signer Huggleri's superintendence. The spectators eagerly watched the process. Stratum after stratum was removed. In the first layer vases were discovered, in the second a mass of cinders, which gradually reveal ed several bronze vases of various sizes, two of them perfectly exquisite silver handles, and so many bracelets, brooches, rings, coins, kitchen utensils and earthen vases. Under them were found wooden beams and sacks of partially calcined corn. The objects that were discovered will enrich the museums of Naples and Pompeii. A spacious re freshment tent was erected on an emi nence commanding a lovely panorama. Capital music was furnished by orches tras from various Italian cities. Vesuvius looked more threatening than usual and all day long vomited a continuous stream of lava and smoke. Cable Dispatch to N. Y. Herald. An Old Fashioned Loo School House. It was built of small tamarac logs, chinked between with moss from the swamp. The floor was of rough oak boards, laid loose, with cracks between, that were a standing threat to jackknives and slate pencils. The seats and desks were of the same material, roughly plan ed and rudely put together. The seats were arranged around the room on all sides, and all the school sat facing each other. The seats across the end were de batable ground between the two, but finally came to be monopolized by the larger boys and girls, who, by some strange attraction, gravitated together. Between us was an open space in which the stove stood, and where classes were drawn up to recite. The teacher's desk stood at the other end, facing the quad rilateral, and so enabling the teacher to take in the whole school at a glance. Sunday Afternoon. Libel by Postal Card. A novel question has recently been decided in the Irish High Court of Jus tice. The defendant was a trader, and the plaintiff, one of his customers, owed the defendant a sum of money, for the payment of which the defendant ap plied to him. The plaintiff, being un well, directed his wife to write to the defendant, sending him at the same time money in part payment of the sum due. The defendant, in reply to this letter, wrote in reference to the balance on a postal card, which was transmitted to the plaintiff through the postofnee, the li belous matter complained of: Sib: Your plea of illness for not pay ing this trifle is all moonshine. We will place this matter in our solicitor's hands if we have not the stamps by return, if it costs us ten times the amount. T. Jones & Sons. The innuendo put upon this commu nication by the plaintiff was that it meant that the plaintiff falsely pretended that he was prevented by sickness from pay ing the defendant's demand, and that the alleged sickness was a mere invention and sham ; and that the plaintiff was an untruthful person, and unable to dis charge his debts, by reason of which the plaintiff had been injured in his charac ter, credit and reputation, and in his profession. The Court said: "I am willing to assume that the averments in statement of defense show that the defendant had an interest in writing to the plaintiff the words com plained off, but the publication to be justified is not a publication to the plain tiff, but to other persons. I think we ought to take judicial notice of the na ture of a post-card; and, therefore, I see no reason for holding that a communi cation written on a post-card is privi leged. It would be a most serious thing to lay dow that a person may extend the sphere of circulation of defamatory mat ter because he wants to save a half -penny in postage." By our Federal statutes it is a misde meanor for any one to mail a postal card containing any indecent or scurrilous epithets, and the punishment denounced is a fine from $100 to $5000, or imprison ment from one year to ten years, or both. Albany Lav) Journal. Buffalo Bill's "Wbit of Refelin." One morning a man came rushing up to my house and stated that he wanted a writ of replevin to recover possession of a horse which a strnger was taking out of the country. I had no blank forms, and had not yet received the statutes of Nebraska to copy from, so I asked the man: "Where is the fellow who has got your horse?" "He is going up the road and is about two miles away," he replied, "Very well," said I, "I will get the writ ready in a minute or two." I saddled up my horse, and then taking up my old re liable rifle, "Lucretia," I said to the man, ' 'That's the best writ of replivin that I can think of; come along, and we'll get that horse or know the reason why." We soon overtook the atranger, who was driving a herd of horses, and as we came up to him I said: "Hallo, sir, I am an officer, and have an attachment for that horse," and at the same time I pointed out the animal. '-"Well, sir, what are you going to do about it?" he inquired. "I propose totoke yon and the horse back to the post," said I. "You can take the horse, but I haven't time to return with you." "You'll have to take the time, or pay the cofcts now and here," said I "How much are the costs!" "Twenty dollars.' "Here's the money," said he, as he handed me the greenbacks. I then gave him a little friendly advice, and told him that he was released from custody. He went on his way a wiser and poorer man, while the owner of the horse and myself returned to the fort. I pocketed the $20, of course. Some people might think it was not a square way of doing business, but I didn't know any better just then. I had several little cases of this kind, and I became better posted on law in the conrse of time. How to Split a Sheet of Papeb. We have often read that a sheet of paper can be split into three parts. Thus it is said that a piece of newspaper can be divided into three leaves one consisting of the surface on which an engraving or cut is rinted, one with the letter press, and a perfectly blank sheet between them. To those who are incredulous we command the following experiment which we have not tried: Get a piece of plate-glass and place it on a sheet of paper, which must be thoroughly soak ed. With care and a little dexterity the the sheet can be split by the top surface being removed. But the best plan is to paste a piece of cloth or strong paper to each side of the sheej to be split. When dry, violently ana'' without hesitation pull the pieces assunder, when a part of the sheet be found to have adhered to one and a part to the other. Soften the paste in water, and the pieces can be easily removed from the cloth. This process is generally demonstrated as a matter of curiosity, yet it can be demon strated, and it can be utilized in many ways. If we want to paste in a scrap book newspaper articles printed on both sides of the paper, and possess but one copy, it is very con venient to know how to detach one side from the other. Some time ago the in formation how to split paper in this man ner was advertised to be sold for a con siderable sum. . The new organ of the New Albany (Ind.) Christian Church has not pro duced entire harmony. It is the first in strument the church has had, and the Sunday that it was first used, Jesse Thur man, an old member and relative of Sen ator Tim r man, deliberately arose from his pew and made a bee line for the pul pit. Then and there, in the presence of a church full of people, he laid hold of a $25 Bible that his wife had presented to the church some five years before. With military precision Mr. T. walked home with his gospel book, laid it on the the tuple and said to his good wife that his Bible should not be disgraced by any Yankee Doodle tunes on Sunday in the house of God. Notices In Local Col am n, 20 cent per line, each insertion. Transient advertisements, per square of 12 lines. Nonpareil measure, $2 50 for first, and $1 for each sabsequent insertion in ADV AMDS' I. gal advertisements charged as transient, and inUBl be paid for upon expiration. No chnrge for pub) if tier's affidavit of publication. Yearly advertisements on liberal terms. Professional Cards, (1 square) $12 per annum. All notices and advertisements intended for publication should be banded In by noon on Wednesday. SHEAR NONSENSE. A recalcitrant youth confidentially suggests that all accidents resulting from misplaced switches do not get into the papers. A mosquito alighted upon the cheek of a book agent the other night, but dropped off immediately and has been lame ever since. We know a man who was inspired with a desire to perform a noble deed by read ing Joaquin Miller's poetry. He got his shot-gun and dog and went out to look for Joaquin. At the close of the sermon the minis ter became impressive. Raising his voice he said: "Judgment! Judgment!" and a small boy near the vestibule door shout ed, "Out on the first." This is the time of the year at which the sentimental youth names a row-boat after his girl, and has it painted green. "Throw physic to the dogs." Yes, and get arrested for killing a valuable animal. We don't see it, thank you. It was at Nantucket. On the way up from the boat one of the party asked the driver. "Do they play 'Pinafore' here?" "Guess not," answered the benighted islander, with a puzzled look; "but they play billiards." Before getting their hair cropped short, people would do well to cut the following paragraph out and paste it in their hats: "The coolest ground in summer is found under tall the grass, and not on the cropp ed lawn." Sailor bathing off the shore near Cher bourg, and with the water up to his chin "What are these things I feel at the bottom with my feet?" A marine from the shore "Nothing serious. An in ventor is trying some experiments with torpedoes." The feelings of the aquatic can better be imagined than described. "What would you fellows give if you liad a voice like mine?" asked a man who had just been howling an air from "Le Petit Due" to a crowd. "Give it a rest," responded four men simultaneously. He did. A lady in London got the idea into her head that the devil was into her, and hung herself, If women go hanging themselves for a little while like that, they're going to be scarce, that's all. The Watertown Dispatch says that an editorial room is not properly furnished without a good dictionary. That article of furniture does come in handy to hurl at exchange tramps, agents and poets of the spring-time. The Emperor's Dinner. The Em peror Francis Joseph of Austria, is certainly a generous host. He gave a dinner the other day to Prince Nikita of Montenegro, and when it was over escorted his guests out into the park surrounding the palace. As they stood there smoking, a beauti ful landau, drawn by an equally beautiful pair of horses, swept up the avenue. The Prince observed that the harness and panel bore the arms of Montenegro, whereupon the Emperor turned and informed bis guest that the carriage and horses were intended as a surprise for him, and begged him to accept them as a souvenir of his visit to Vienna. With sparkling eyes the Prince thanked his host. Tho dinner which this episode succeeded was a pic turesque one; the service was of solid gold, the center pieces being well-known antique works of art. Prince Nikita wore a gorgeous Mon tenegrin dress and was quite formid able from the small arsenal of knives, daggers, and chased pistols stuck in the belt. The meal itself barely lasted half an hour, few dishes being the fashion at an Austrian court dinner but each dish is a master piece. American Blasphemy. A Philadel phian, writing from abroad to Forney's Progress, alludes to the American habit of swearing, and remarks: "I never heard what I used to hear all day long from the boys in the adjacent press room when I was an editor in New York, steady, continued, objectless blasphemy, directed at nobody and nothing, but i simply poured forth as the nightingale i trills forth her song to the moon, in the i pure, gushing, joyous inspiration of youthful spirits. This jocund spon taneity of "cussing" has before been no ticed by foreigners who come to this country. George Augustus Sala said that, during one of the great battles of our rebellion, the oaths drowned the musketry, and he took back with him lor exhibition at the Junior Garrick Club a choice selection of American oaths, which wer afterward deposited in the British Museum. N. Y. Star. NOLUNTABY ReTUBN OF A LlFE CON VICT. Wm. D. Kenzie, a life convict, who escaped from the Michigan Peniten tiary at Jackson, September 28th, volun tarily returned the next day. He had gotten thirty miles from Jacksen, when, cold hungry and weary, he resolved to return to prison, which for twenty years had been his home, and where he knew he was sure of shelter, rest and rations. He therefore went to a farm-house, told ! his story, and was made welcome and i lodged for the night. The next morning ! he started on his return. At Rives I Junction, ten miles north, a telegram j was forwarded to the warden stating that Kenzie had passed there en route for I Jackson; thereupon the Chaplain drove 1 in that direction and met the fellow 1 about four miles out, footsore and weary, 1 and taking him into the vehicle, brought bim back to his old quarters. Rev. James Spurgeon, a brother of the Spurgeon, is now traveling in this country with his wife, a granddaughter of General Sir John Burgoyne, who sur rendered at Saratoga. He has just visited the cene of her grandfather's defeat.