The state rights democrat. (Albany, Or.) 1865-1900, March 04, 1881, Image 1

The state rights democrat., March 04, 1881, Image 1

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Newspaper Page TextRATES OF ADVERTISING. l w 1 rai g 00 .' H) 4 00 7 Af I M I M 6 M 8 00 12 00 jr. is IN 0J) M (Hi I ra jrOo IK (SI II tm 27 IS3 AA 00 4 on ao to r, & 7 on 10 t 12 M) I', aq i t e 00 7 tsi 8 K1 VI ui i IM 00 I SO 00 :ss 00 I 0 08 UI 00 I In 00 PVHXR, n "lMt rttil''lttill.lliia.ni.llr i'artter Kranil.il tiiu ami Unrnarl s. TKUMS OF fOMfbftIlJ6lh Stusrl e.vr, t mmt SJ no fc.at is,'.iix nnMitli s oo Sanrta riV, tlirw rtKaalu .. j no iart number ."!... lo 1 " I 10 1 20 to I 4u on Iga no 1 10a 00 BuetoeS" notleea In tho Ieal Columns 20 e'nta air line. I' or Ieyal and tranaient advertlsemenia tl 00 jier MTpMre, for the drat insertion, and B0 oaana jar Samara for each subse'iuent In sertion. VOL. XVI. ALBANY, OREGON, rWlDAY, MAIMil 4, I.hhi. NO. 31. ST ATB RIGHTS DEMOCUAT ISSUKt) KVlvKY FRIDAY MY MAET. "V. BROWN St ate tights T ftO P E8SION A L CAR! MBL O. It. WilLVRRTON. K. B. I',! V! IIRRT. miMPHRRYA WOLVRRTOK, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, 1 1 Unity, Oregon. . Wit enu-li.v ill all the Courts in Um Suto. ftvtat. ni-Ucr ami mUwUmm altwulnl n. MIlMMlj. i Jattf U FI.INN. O. K. I'll A M ItKti I..M N . KM XX A HI A MBIT. IAIN. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Albnity. lrr;;:ii. "tfVn in Pw., r's ttrick I'lockWSj v I'm IStf. !i. S. STKAll AN. Em lUI.YKl'. ST 12 A II AN a miA i r, ATTORNEYS & COUNSELORS AT LAW At Unity. On'Ron. ORACTICIC IN ALL Die courts of M. HOB State. TlW piru special alien ttn tooalleetions ami probate matter. OMoe in Foster's new brick, f L. H. MONTANYE. ATTORNEY AT LAW, AND Notary Public. Albany. Oregon. Office nj .stairs, over John Hriirvrs store, 1st stnt. Tl4n23tf D. R. N. BLACKBURN, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW Albany, Orcg-on. Oflo- u tair in I'irOUil I rllonMrui lr. W (MMMi sp.s-ially. ap2l. J. K. WEATHERFORD, (Notary rvaucj tTTOItXKY AT I AW, ll.Kl.M. tlltM WILL PIIACTICK IS AI.I. TUK .l KT" OS Till". StU SKVui) attention srinn t.. omlt-vOtm. &nl jtoIwUc nuttier. Hthi fat QSA WW Ti T. mple. U: j. c. rowiox. w. r. Mii.vKtt. F0WLL ft JilLYI-l. vTtoi:nkys at law. And Solicitors in t Isann : v, AliRAKV. - OICK;. IVrtlcetions promptly made on all point. I. '.tiis ne&T"tiaw-l mi ,rea,-oiialile terms. 4Pfltwin Foster's brick.- vUnlHif. T. 1. MACK LENA 1, A r I iliNKY AT LAW iLKlM. HiiiUO' Ptettt upstair in t Oild FeilmfV . euij.ie.-S- elAwSA "' F. M. MILLER, VfrOKN'MV AT ft -AW Will rl Ift Ml) . , r a ,, I,,. m4 ,,. "rilii;j :i" mi' hi 4n- :i .(. .tt'.jf-. ton- .cyihi- i .i.i.l eiMRtwtitiR tjl i'til.i.. I'n.imi. uiKiqrM :t t'i;tlL . VZlt'.M 1 . li i w i : i ? . tin iTiir nKcfc. . LK t . UUII.il-.. jSpriml lU.-iU.Hi 4i rf to o.li,- ni..in :iri I r-J rstatr iait utirt. J. A. V ITI ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW CORVAXLIS, OBCCSON. o prartir In nil ti OmmI of ii HUtl ffic- in t Coart Hew 1 vl0n2vl. J. t.. H u. I.. h. w. IODI. lill.ii A IHHM), Physicians and Surgeons. AUciiiy. Orcu'on. AMICE F4.har A MauR'a inm Mm, Tr. Hill's TPs'ffanrp, oor. Fifth snl Vine. Ir. DoM'a rfsiietiw, fornpr Fifth and Washington, in front f U. I. 'htir-h. vlte22U E. (;. JOBTJfSOK, 3f, I., HOMEOPATHIC Physician and Surgeon. Albany, Orrgon, O'Tu't tit Froinan's f;rtik two loors Z'!ast of Conner's Jiank. ulu nr. x. L. ;oi.m:.', OCCULIST AND AUKIST SALEM. ORKt.OV. DR. GOLDEN HaS HAD KXPBRiEKCE IN treating tt; varifiut liniawi to which lUf ey and ar aro mbjeflt, xud f-iH -om rt.I-rtt of giving entire Katixfaction to ihimn who may place themselves under hi care. noWf. T. W. HABBIS, M. I. Offico in Foster's Brick, nxt door to oflie of Powell fc Jiilyeu. Ifeniiwnr in the two-story frame betiding on South side of Second Rtreet. one block find a half F:)t of Whaler A' Pfckey'tf Livery stable. ti:.:niv, ... ... Qicf roll tin 19tt IK. E. O. HYDE, Physician and Surgeon. Office at Foshay A Mason's. Pesidtnce on IJroadalb'n St., Albany, Or. v!6n32tf Auction and Commission. fiEO. IJUMPIIKEY, AUCTI O E i: li. FroMin it's Itlock. AI.KVW, ... FttK:o. NEW YORM SHOPPING I Kverybody delighted with the tasteful and beautiful selections made by Mrs. I.a mar, who has never failed to please her customers. New Fall Circular jut issued. Send for it. Address MRS. ELLEN LAMAIi, S77 tirimilwav. New Vfrk. JOHN J. WHITNEY, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Albany, Oregon. Will practice in all the Courts of this State. Siecial attention given to collec tions. Office up-stairs in Froinan's now brick. 22 DIED. POSTER In Albany, on the night of February 30th, 1 ss 1 , of heart disease, Mas. M. J. Foster, aged "." year, I months and '27 day or.: 1 1 tuv. Mrs. Martha J. Fetter, the subject of this sketch, vm born September S3, is; in Preble county, Ohio. 1 1 - fatfcpr. Mr. . I anu s (Inn, wus one of the early settlers of tliut then f.tr WcnttTti State. The family IHMmd lo Indiana about tlie year IS.". I. In the Bprinj of 1892, hW mother then beins; in feeble health, the family decided to remove to Oregon. l'.nt, after all the arrange meuts v.cie made for tho journey, ami bsfora they bfr the oh I home, the moth er died, having Maith:i, the eldest, in chirm of a Urge family 1 1 hrotheis ami sisters, four of whom survive her. The broken family came on to Oregon ami settled in l.iun county, On the IStfc of April, lsy., the tic ceased was married to Mr. Jus. If, Fos ter, of Albany, one of Oregon's well known ar.d loading citizens. Mrs. Fob tev's life was dUtingOWtj I'V pure and unostentatious piety. Herself and hus band were iMOBg the lirst members of the UoitOtl Tiesl vtei ian t'hunh ill Al bany, which was founded pi l."." ", tin der the ptfttoral charge of l!ev. James P. Miller. Deceawed w an nil. ctionat wife, a loving mother, and an unflinching friend. The jor nni neetly werti b!es. 1 with her abundant means, and many ate thev hocati never forge! her well timed charity. She leates a sor rowing husband, three sons and two daughters to mourn her loas, the young est of tho children, Oeorgc, being eight e'n years of "e. Her health, alwsvs delicate, was better during hei latr vc:irs, and at the time of Iter sudden taking olf she seemed unusually well. She had just attended the Woman Suf frsge Oonveniion end I bo State Tem neninoe AWeneein Portld nnd had lieen a hppv lt.i I ;i 1 1 be writer's home, wdeie a prtttv im i.'iii ii in In. nor of h-r d,tuhteis on the evening cf the ITih. wheh she ii i.,.d thoiouhh,. till the folio iog e enii-g Fl idt ) she I.-' uiie. I in hef h- :: in Aidant, lev- ing I. er dtHtcbtra PoiiJi their ihi. On S.ti.ltth eei,ii -.., K-bmaiy 200, while h r i ld st iktttgbter, MuggM", wa; wiiat iiim in the enpt rwnoa MMting t th- Oongregntionul ebureb Ha Portland, she was ttcliilig i'h a sick iclative in Albany, and oyin0, a all thought, U tter than iiwiml l.i alth. At midnight hlo- MVnilM LMt ietii lliedieilie, and resumed her M at. in an reev chair, obeerfolly rrnuirkiiig (Imt ebennd slept a little and would sleep again. An beVT passed, and the patient called, but could not waken her. The inalid threw a soon and hit the chair, and, failing to arouse her, called her mother, Mrs. llo dine, who was hleC.ing upstairs. Mis. l., deceased's sister-in-law, came down and spoke to her, calling "Martha," but got no answer. Concluding she was weary and overcome and ought to re tire, Mrs. I), went to her, and placing lu-i hand on her forehead, found it cold. She tried to waken her, but the spark of life had gone out. Mrs. Foster was h ad. The features wore a pleased and happy smile. She had passed an ay from the reenes of eaith to the hal lowed shades of the better land. She had evidently gone without suffering. Heart disease, the doctors call it, had mapped the brittle thread, and all was over. Herhttabaad was at home await ing her return, when the midnight mes senger came with the sad news. Three of the family were in I'oitland, one of whom intended to be absent some days longer. The young ladies, Maggie and Mattie, left the house of the writer on the 7:."0 a. in. train, homeward hound, and with no preroottttioo of the brood ing shadow that overhung their happy hearts. The absent son, James, was telegraphed in time to take the train for home, instead of the Vancouver boat, as he had intended. The daugh ters knew nothing of their loss until informed by the conductor of the train, and could not learn the particulars till thev reached home. At 9:25 on Mon day morning, two hours after the young ladies were gone from Portland, a dis patch from the eldest son, Kobeit, was received by the writer, who took the evening train for Albany, and four hours later was kneeling beside the marble form of one whom she had learned to love and honor beyond the jower of words to tell. Where shall we look upon her like again 1 What friend so firm, so true, so noble, so un flinching, so unflinching, so unselfish as she ! Her death has cast a gloom over the entire State. ilei family are bowed beneath a load of trials, but they sorrow not as those that have no hope. They know that it is well with her, and that the pure in heart shall see Cod. She died, as she had lived, doing good. True friend, faithful wife, loving mother, trusting Christian, hail and farewell ! Mrs. A. S. Duniway,in New Northwest. A pack of fools, like a pack of cards, are easily played with. aroornKDikK'H VMM. "Now, my dear," said Mr. SK)opeu dyke. "let mo see the list of ladies you wish mo to call on. 1 rtmlly don't wish to go around much, but a man must do what his wife wants him to do on Now ear's day. WhoiVa tho Hat V "Here it is," said Mrs. SpoofMadyke, fluttering around with hor hair in her mouth. "1 wrote them all out with tho address for you, so you wouldn't have any trouble." "What makes you put old Sister l.utnb at the Load of the list!" growled Mi. Spoependyke. "She's got a wart on her chiu the tixe of a tire bell, and she can't tulle of anything except the advantages of eggs over stove coal for hestiug the Sunday school." " lint she belongs to the church, and I don't bliec auv ono else will call on her," reasoned Mrs. Sjaioprndyke "Sho will be tickled to death to see you." "What do you think I'm starting out fori" demanded Mr. Spoopendyke, fiercely. "Out an ida I'm going around like a missionary to carry the Goaael to people every body elsr is afraid off Wind's this second MUM here! Who's Mrs. Shk ly mbrctoy P "That's Mrs. Wolrerten. I promise 1 her you would call. Never mind Mrs. Lamb, but you ought to call on Mrs. WoWertou."' "What fori What has ske got in cotnmou with sae, except that het bones arc hollow f She don't ktiow the dif ference between a Cuinca pig and tho burning of Jerusalem. She always wants to know if I don't think that Sodom aud Comorrah wcrti parable. Is that tho kind of a list you've utudn out ' Want me to run around among tho old nioiiiimentst Who's Miss Swash P "That's Mrs. Smith, the little widow. You know she's interested in seuding women out west to get husbands. She'll amuse you." "She will if ale seea m. She'll make me laugh like a hyena if she gets one eye on tuc. Who's that yellow headed girl that siks two ews in front of us i I'd like to call on her now 'She's a little chit of a thing. You don't waut to run after those young people a man of your age " "What's the reMM 1 dontl" howled Mr. SHocmlyke. "(Jot au idtm that 1 only can for the tough old ...:-. havon't von f Think I'm a sort U I'lv month Reek, don't you Got any more old Undmaiks that n .! inepaetiunf" "I don t care!' temouslrHted He tyetopeadyke, indignantlf ; " Ihey'n ui..- MMiifl and I likoloeultivuUthem fhey mav Im along in life, but thev can't help it." "Cultivate Vm if you waut to," growmd Mr. Bfioopandfke; "bssifyou think I'm going hoeing aiotiinl auiwug 'fin on i be I at of January you'ro Iwft What d'ye want to cultivate 'olu for? With your fiieuda and ideal VOS need only weekly pmjOtU atid an alarm of liie lo Im- mi o. wtjinau's home Who else have you heie f Mia, Sliggom j Oiult, Mr. V otipleliliiiigli, .VI I Mtmpsf " "You don't read them ijht at all," complained Mis. .... v,.,.,.j i.- "That's Mrf. SilveraiMsui, ami Mrs. Woiihii.g ton, and Mias Heinmitigwav. They're just aa nice as they can be." "Are they the throM old WOI b'a who howl in the choir T" asked Mr. SooindyIe, sternly. "They've got a grandson old enough to lai my father." "They haven't," aoblietl Mrs. Sj-ei pendyke. "You know better." "Well, moat of 'em have. Whet d'ye want me to call on them furl Cot any more old almanacs expecting me 1 Where's the Sphinx ? You haven't got the Sphinx down here, nor the Tower of Babel. Whe're these other pyra mids? Who's Mrs. Cpsidodown l" "That's Mis. Kdgeiton. She Kent you the jelly when you were sick, and you said she was the la-st woman in Brooklyn. You'll have to call on her for politeness," suid Mrs. BpceWSadj ke, severely. "I won't either t ikonisd Mr. Spoo pendyke. "The jelly was sour, aud she made me pay a dollar toward plaster of Paris angel for a starving family out in Flatbush. Who's this other nurse of Ceorge Washington's? Here, this is a mistake ; 1 went to old Mias Sehumslock'a funeral thirty years sgo." "You didn't ; you never did !" pro claimed Mrs. Spoopendyke, thoroughly aroused. "That isn't her name either. It's Miss Scholield, und she is the best frieml I've got. l only want " "I know what you want," biased Mr. Spoopendyke. "You want a few more acquaintances, and a map, to be a guide book to ancient Troy. Think I'm go ing to call on that old monolith Got anything here lhal belongs to modern tines? Know mi) body who has been dug up within six or eight centuries 1 Who's that blaek-eyed gill in the liiblo class ? Don't she hang out a flag to day r "I wouldn't look at her," sniffed Mrs. Spoopendyke. "I wouldn't have you go there for worlds. Ucsides, she don't receive." "What's this ?" demanded Mr. Spoo pendyke. "What's Mrs. Wimpqetyx got to do with it What cemetery will I find her in?" "That's Mrs. Willoughby?" exclaimed Mrs. SM)ojendyke,complacently. "She's the young widow who recently joined the church." "Don't mind calling on her," said Mr. Spoopendyke. "She wasn't 1miu more'n 4,000 years before the Christian era. "Got any more like her. Does this measly list contain any more who wasn't the mother of the Chinese em pire ri Think of any more grave-stones that haven't had the epitaphs worn ofT?" "No," replied Mrs. Spoopendyke, coldly, "and now I remember Mrs. Wilbughby receives calls with friends in Buffalo." " Doel gast your dod gasted list P howled Mr. Spoependyke, dancing on the unhappy document. "What d'ye think I am ? A ghoul 1 S'pose I'm going to prance around among all the measly old ghosts in Brooklyn 1 S'pose I'm going to swush around and cut cuke aud driuk lemonade with a lot ot illus (rations of the Silurian peiiod ' Think I'm going to spend the day with a lot of articulated old skeletons just be cause they belong to the same chun h that I do?" A ad Mr. Spoiptoidyke (topped out of t he house like a bung, aud went to tho nest door to sco if his friend Tortoi thumb knew any mummii .'. of whose history there was some tradi lion. "I don't care," said Mrs. BpOOpeH dyke, as she whirled around two Of three tililcM to piactien kicking her train. "If he don't Call on she chun h peeidt they'll be hopping mad and, il he dims, he won't have mocb of a time; so he'll wiidi he was dead either way," and Mrs. Spoopendyke bustled Into she parlor to unsure a sandy haired ynun" man with a stiff m eh thut it wan awful good id' him tn come, and to learn thai ho hadn't conoi far ot his own volition, but had slid uiost of the way. nr. M tm.ii in LAI ML At mid fofimoon jreeterdaj a bum w ho a us crossing Wcodwanl Amihic at Congress slrett suddenly began to paw tlie air with his hands and pM form divers strange afttioi with hia feet, and after taking plenty of titim about it he caino down in a heap More than fifty stop1e saw the per formance, and there was a g.-n. i i laugh. It had rot yet i ... I when a man with a funeral countenance pushed his way into the cmwd and a .ki d "Who is he What's his naWM P ... "Jones, answerei It olee. "What Junes V "Thomas Join s." "Sure T "Yes, I've known him for tKUtj years." "Then I'll l.nigli," said the eaiemn facetl mejif and he leaned Against the wall and chuckled ami Uugltud lIBlil Ml could hardly get hi bieath. Mi" I the crowd remarked on his singulai eendeot, and the laugher wiped the tears from his eyes and replied I Ceutlemen, nothing tickles BM all over Mi much at to see a tnah full doe B Ten years ago I was a salesman in a wholeaaln house; with a line cbanOfl foi promotion. One dav a man just ahead of m fell d wn and I laughed. It W our old man. and he disc barged me on the spot. Five years later I was en meed to a riU Litl. A i I tame nul i t the neatoffioe one l v mu sprah i out on the walk, and I lauehed 1 1 I ws son- It was mv Angel ina's old "t ,4it" "" "P ,h" """ " v" 1 IH" 1 leghed myealf untwf u tmi' It I I .1 .1 I I lion in it itttiik, and )it I a (In lame failure should today hlVe a phl ill the CwStSra I Ions- I hav learned Wisdom. Now when I a.-e a man Dill I ask hi name and Me if he h ta auj In fbtence to put loe oni. uf na mWl hip. If he lots I look ailleWltl nod I MUM o- If he hssn't I la asgh ha : I... ' l.a ' Jones ia it ! Jones rSli't do me r,v j hai III, and ha' ha ' ha ! ha' I wouldn't have missed tliis for a msnth'naal aal ha' ha'' trt'-mt J-'n- l'rr. 1111: i.vi r t ri.u RKrsl 1 1 a. We owe Hot a little of the phasuic we derive from newajtpera to tba RI t liona td the repot teta, The editor mar elaborate and coiiiinent iimiu the news of the day, but the intelligent lead. 1, it iu jKtaseaaion of the same facta, la ipiite able to do this himself. The 10-.' popular iiewspacrs, ot le r things ' ing equal, are thoae which ctuj'lov the best rejKUters, the largest number of them, and which allow them the gteatcst liberty. It is a hard HbSfty. It is a hard life and full of real drudgS1 ry, yet there is sort of liberty at tached to it, which, combined as it im with severest discipline, gives the husi ncsa its attractions, while preparing ita incumbents for higher j his it ions, it is by this reportorial experience that the editor learns how to come near the pub lie and how to find just what is the opinion of the people ; and, if he ia wise, he will bear iu mind this pait of his professional life. The reporter is often pointed iu hia remaiks, eharp, shrewd, and at limes sarcastic, (t could hardly bo Otherwise. No class of men come into such close contact with all other classes, and none see so clearly and near at hand the shams and follies of the times. None are therefore let ter aide to M hold the mirror up to na ture." He ia sometimes a liltle severe in noting the follies of the day ; but does he not know, after all, that resdera generally apply the sarcastic n maths to others and reserve the tender toiftdies lor themselves ? A Boston man beeOOffht hia wife, he Doing hut three years married, for the privilego of a night-key. "Night key ?" alio exclaimed, in tones of amazement, "what nseosn yon have for a night-key, when the Woman's Emancipation League meets Monday eight, the Ltulies' Domestic Mission Tnesday, the Sisters of Jericho Wednesday, tho Woman's Science Circle, Thursday, tho Daughters of Ninevah, Friday, and tho Women'-. Progressive Art Association and the Suffrage Hand on alternate Saturday nights. You stay at home and see that the baby doesn't fall out of Ihe cradle." He stays. A Chicago young lady, who sa 1 that she is twenty eight, is not il looking and is an only daughle whoso father has made his will In her favor, also says that when girls In fashionable society get tired of their set they do not .want to murry young men in that circle, but really look out for poor young men who do not care for dancing parties, and who want to stay at home for t he rest of their lives. Tiinow mrsM ro mi: sons. A great portion of tho sulToring and dis tress of t his country is due to tho fact that the NBOple take too much physic and too many drugs. If you want to preserve your health, Rave doctors' aud druggists' bills, use tho California Pine and Euca lyptus Porous Plasters for all pains. For Main St., Albany, Or. sale oy roshay E Mason, i' osier's itnck, Tift PTBAfMtflfnr rill. HVM roi.ii. ii'i.iiM.i.ifiiU henv bie of the most remark shlo stories ever lold in a new :.p,i per is that of Miss Mary famine!, a VOting woman about II yeniH ,,f igft, vt lio is a grand ihitigh fer of Philip I- Ki rim it, the well known A uteri can writer who edited a newapa U?r in this l ily dining the latter part of the hist cent ni y. Miss Hummel is one of two sisteis the ehh-.U being n vidon who owji n small pfoperty and l'Mile at Winfiehl, luig aland. A fear and a half ago they rented a poi tion of their dwelling to a Mrs I'mo line c. Allen, a woman abont 5 yeara old who oaaae to them I'lgMy "' mended ith h (ti-ii t"j i "ni ing bur to ! Ml gaged in philant lnopic labors, ami I who pivti nd' d lo have il son, the Chartea Allen, of tbiaeity. lira. Alkm soon ratue to be the ruling spirit of the eatabl ink mont, and at once aewMnil complete oontrol over ihe younger aia ter, M ias Hummel, a quarrel ti:h the elder (deter led to If re. Alleti'a ei pulsion from the bonee, and her arret I and aentenoe oe oonvletion to jail for six weeks for aaaanlt. At the end f this time she again made her appear anoe, aaaortod her infloeoce over Miai Uammel and compelled the lufti i I , go mwiiv with her, notwithstanding Ihe protests of the elder Kta ter, This was the last heat. I of lh-s 1 1 amine unt il last Fiiduy. when she wus diacovered ems fined in a little room aia br ten feet, the ihsils of which had boM naih d up, in an "Id mansion a! Kluahiog, I. I 1 1 ei aiateff had ma le ereiy (Tei t to find her, '.ui in rein, When found ahe i barefooted, had on only three filthy gai meiiiM, and waa so w ik from bnneer that she oenld m sely ataod. Rhe b been imprisoned in this plaOf, without a spat k of lire, since tho middle of No i nda r Her story is that after leal ing hr sister'a home she ha I been pAf amtentljf maltreated by lira Alh- ,h., dttl ing all t h it t in..-, hie pi leaner, had eom slled i di a bo.k ! UH'SI ol " ,., her lo sign a p (Mrs. A lb i ) h" i M iaa llamiiK w nlowesl silet . i i ooilagea to S I licit s'h ! mat a it stai lllUg I Awt of it ell Is the net the V nnt.g Molinili I wmiiv, and it Migge tie, bin 1 he da. in slr-ie-t hem d I !.,- .,v she it weak minded, if not uotUaih iaibecile. Two lean howsvef, fore she hid faih-n into ihe awt 1 M 1 . A . 1. aid to have been moie than ordiuaiilv intelligent. Al together it la one of the atrangeai to- ie ever told ill a l!CWpaal, and BeWVpaperi tell many .-i lies. it 1 ange sin I I I I t.U ti ll Ktl . A w r iter on "some recent adrances iu telegraphy" gift's the following amusing instance of LJnmlera oauaod by the alteration of dots and dashsi iti the code now in use. A dot will 000 vert the word 'save into "noi "Kund" is easily t riinsM)setl inlo "found," and the wot ds "dead" and "bad" are made up of precisely the1 numbers added together, with the frac MSS8 number of dote sad dashes, the i tions we have omitted, giro the grand only difference la-ing the inn rtion of space. After leading this DOOC willb surprised that, when a party of young ladies was announced as having "ai lived all light," the me-sage was deliv ered as "an ived all tight," and that 11I.su, when a husband went to the MM side lo secure apai Itm-nts, and arranged with his w il'e that if he found apart incuts be would teYgiapli for her to come, but if unsuccessful would return home, he telegraphed, 'Home to-night ..' but she received t he message, "I Some tonight," am) the result was that they crossed on tho roml. Agrin, a gentle man was out of town and his only child was at home unwell with the measles, he suspected ; his wife tele graphed, "Raafa all gone," but he re reived a meaaage, "('ash all gone." Mien ut -ikk 11 n tit:. "Why," thundered an impassioned orator t a temperance mass meeting, "in only one year, iu twehu short months, the people of the United States drank 27,007,015 gallons of beer, and 7,853,29! gallons of Whisky ! I low much of this did you diink (" he cHed, glaring around at the respectable Vice Presidents on the platform. And ia the impressive pause that followed the corresponding sect clary arose and .said that with the exception of the tonic drops she was compelled to take before breakfast and the anti malarial bttterj that Dr. Botua presciihed for her, and a little pale ale for her digestion and a pint of beer at night, which sh" couldn't close an eye in sleep without it, and maybe an occasional drop of brandy for tho nemala3y,Khe had not tasted a drop of spiritual or ferventuoui liquids since she joined the society. And a great hush fell upon the meeting, liko the voico of a man who has just been asked for the loan of ten dollars. BuflinffUm 1 la whey r. t kit or hi: nt r. I once knew u work ingni. in, a sitter by biiaineas, who had one hhiuII inralid o'lild at home. Ili wr ugtit at his tiado, eeiii.hny with QilcHty, being ulways in the shop a', the Oie0ing of the diy. Ho managed, hot i, to bear each et ening to the bet ide of tho "wee lad," us he called him, (lower, a bit of ribbon, or a Iragment of erini on glass; indaed, anything that would lie out on the white counterpane and gi". a c lor in I he room, Ho wea a ouiet, tin en ti mental Scotchman ;'nf beneva went homa at nightfall without some toy or trinket ajmefn be had re rot m i'. ic.i the wan faco that 'it up ui when ho came in. I preanme that ho i erei said lo a li ing l-olil X hut lay ij much. Still he Wt ly I i ing him A i,d b iiiovi d thai a bole hop but unconscious fellowsl he loved tht ml on i"!' lent- v and by he into poaifdre tin wuh Uim Tijewoikujentu.nl" euriotti little j ra and teacups on their wheels, and paint ed diminutive pictures d-wn thsstdta before they stuck them in tfte oornera of the kiln at burning brought acme frsit in the apron and eootb some $ a i tide seiap muk. N ie. I qpe Ige of his avings in of t 1 ' III whi -pered a word, (; iiii .l-mn thi:ig was not t. be talked ub.,fl'. They j. ut them in the oi l man's hat, whem he found them ; so he aodet stood all abouf it. And I tell you set iouslv, that en tii. pottery full of men, of itbeecoerar fibre and nature, gr-a- piet as the mouths drifted, becoming gentle and kind, and MMW if ll-e Ungovemed ones stoppi I : w: ! mil', a the feery looh on the patient woikerV. f. -.- ! ! I than be kyond any mistake thai ibo inevitable shadow was drawing i i. iter. I'Nery lay sotic body di.hu pi f MS WSrh for him and put it op alio ed j plank to ii v ; inus ne coo lo coma later andgo eailier. S , when ih bell tolled ami the little coffin came out of the doot of the holy house, tih: around the comer of the t.i'dtt llnte ,d a 1 . . . llUllMlliI hI notitirv I III on. 1 1. lay or tiiuc ff their hats v illag ai 1 ui. 11 ptobubly n. ta t ori 1 ttiov o: 1 mi ti. oj.ui ion in hi i mate. I a 1 1. Oil o 1 a--- mar la Ml. This i 1 a te Krarnsf r t 1 000. ihiiiiIm r almoat ia-von.i pefrJrraone who an-not rerj u.twitii arithmetical cahula Buflice t to hy tha the poisj conn II hilioii of London, taktn ;n ith widt-ht assse, is tj.ffOOOOQjAnd thatxmseqneot !y, the whole World eontajna only 3i times as many psraena as tie metropo lis of the llritisli t inpin-. f the ttSSB berssrs Arranged iu the order of the great diviftion of the gfebS, Asia, w ith its SIl.OlHl.OfHi i f inhabit inly. stanJ.s tiit on the list, followed by L irope with lexs than half as many, viz : 115,- otKt ttiit) Africa has L') immimhi nnd mdlAai erica 95,00 . while Australia and I'olynesii contain ltOXK),000, and the Pohu regions only :-J,0(iO. These total f 1 ,455,000,0001, into the imputations of we impure t different ' countries of Kurope we find that (treat Britain and Ireland, with ita 34,000, 000, is by no measj the most popoions, for (ierm.iny is estimated at I tJMhi, 000, AoaAltan Hungary at $8,000,000 and (rVance ai 56,000,000, Among the smaller kingdoms heuiuaik has about half the population of I. onion, namely, only a f'-vv ihoilMIld less than L'.A", (UM) ; Stvitzerland has 500,000 more?; Belgium, one of the densest popuhA-d kinSdoms, baa 5,500,000 ; Bwcdenaaa 4,500,000 ; Spain 16,000,000, and 1 ,1 tngal nearly 5,000,000. Rusatii is sparsely peopled in proportion to its extent, the whole population of its im mense area only amounting to 88,000, 1)00. But perhaps the most striking results of theae inveatigationa lie in the fact that (he handful of British in Asia control the destinies of iMO.HIO.UOO of natives. In America the Tinted States is by far the greatest power, the popu lation of Brazil coming next, with I 1, 000, ono. L,nhm Queen. The passing passion id' New York girls is for children just old enough to walk, l'ct dogs are discarded for the time being, and the fashionable ladle leads instead a little toddler by the hand. The object is to be regarded by strangers as a youthful and interesting mother. "Lend me your baby this af ternoon," is tho common request to gen uine mothers by maidens. Going a distance of four blocks on fifth avenue vou will meet frOm three to live girls of not more than nineteen demurely leading tiny children, and counterfeit ing a maternal air. Sometimes the at tractive offsprings of poor parents are borrowed, dressed carefully and taken out. The freak is new and wonderful. Subscribe for the Democrat. most UMAMtBUi run,v 1. 1 !!.; I ! m IKI.KK . JCWis lbs 1; aell, ogetl fbj year-, llres io aj ilckeiy old nonse In Tike csnsty, pa., no! far from Tafton. lie Ia (be eldest of n fsmny rsnssAks tile f r the longevity ol lis nu mjUen. Of Ihe ll'iekwt ll fiiuily tbero are right broils. r and aiaterA yet Hiring. Tbey are Lowla Eorkwell, sgel Hri . ' irs ; Abrsm l!o-k w II, ; Mrs. Anne Weils, 83 Hlaa Billle Etock woll, t: , Kllxa RoekwsH, 77 ; Mrs. Phosbs Usinafijrdf 7" MrA, Kifhtr los Bravo, 73, and .Mrs. LAeiadfl Valentine, 7.'. The Jiggregf ago of this family e 843, Or SO S'erSgeOf over 80 years SSCb. In spite of the Uvt Ibal nld Owla Rockwefl tiss many rich rolativen, fie baa Man thrown iipou tho town and lie i-i now Mmrlytbo only town charge in Ihe COOOty. I wis on.t lius, wfio died AOfRO ymrs .., wm .1 eonnecilon of ttMRASkwett family. If" was at one Uomtbe htrgt'st rurin ju Ameri";i, fa Ing cotwldersbly larger than thereto. bnued DsolH lAmbertf BsnrnsQ'a (fiSIlt Mr. Cornel uV tJiinenslon's areentertai apn ths.reeord beoks la the ProttioOatsry'a otHci, at Milford, Pikocoontyi ai fsOows: Lewie Cornelius, i.,,m ii'.ti. Height, six f. et. CbcitAfSYsnee below wsbt, eight foot two tocJaes. Circiu.'jf, retiee abavs wolatlfx feel tWO SOd QIKfJ half fn-lje-. C'irciiuiferem e ofaririubjve 1 J',vrf two feot two inches, UlsramfiAreacetrf am below eloesr, one fJotrjl nine Inches in-unifer-m e rf wrist, one foot IhffC inches. Clrcam Iferenee of Ibfarh f .or t.y r t tp two inches. Ciiconaisreoce rf calf m. g, two feel -even irn:,. ireurnferetu-o .,f ankle, ooe f.st aovoo Inches. Weight, without any dotbtog Whatever, 'I fi pound. Thfaj it tho only antlnwitW. recacd of Mr. ftr:ie!iu-' aixe extant. As iie hsd boon afet aotnetinae bo l et over fifty ponmN of liis weight; he waa not weighed till after bie death, and In foil health WOOld have lipped IU" sosl e nt 700 sound, Ella wife was M AS .1 very slight woman and weielied ju.t 109. i bey bad threesone, whose weignt was bl.. 1-tirflls, ;j average of 7J ftound- sorb. The only am- viving ist, John COrnelios, now 3 I ' MiUU'U rrr I'kitoJtA laU. time,. i t'luuor 1 iu. fr i ml i very fund of par r-.P determim 1 to vi one at , any CI PVfwc Jbtvtiig m ar i.y was a who owned line -l e. imeiiof Ibe bird, and the tody turev longing ami eorotooa eye at 1 i'. It collid talk like u-nrti'm mmA 1 - ' ' '"I i:-l 11 t-IJ IU HUH ! pirr.i. Tho odier day, laiug 1 qu tinted with Use rTrenchman, -he j ma : up her mind to aak blsn lo part 1 with it. she called open him for! Ihal pUrpCSOL -Now. Mr. Napoleon" ebo plead-i ir- I.. .Ill: !! .. r...l. 1 1. ed, "you mu-t b t me have that par-; Tot. ' 't Hi, madame. ho Kaid, "leouldj not j art wis the parrots for any price. Be Voa choy of my w hat j ...... III. aa . a . . . . . warn . "inn, noux'houi. 1 have been of&rir foefly duttnirof he. I would not take .. tou-and dofiair for be.' s'u- pleaded in vain. Tfanotoon csuid not be moved. A few days later ehe called SCSSB. but sim the Frenchman War mamov- able. l tell Wiiat I do, T gcef you two nice ii.'irno ii..rw r..,- 1.... .1..11..:.. ao you haf to do i to place em in BaSS cotton, and zey batch fSmnclTCn out IWO niagniti ue parrute penrds' The hsrgais tv as made, and the lady withdrew in a delighted frame -- ..-w. - .... I. . 1 . .100.'.. .. Jtl of mind. She did as directed, and in ivoiaii 01 nine tlie eggs were hatched; but in-'e.ulof Mwonar- rote,' a brace of the finest oung ducks thut ever made a hole in the water put in an appearance. Mrs. Blsnk hurried to the man and berated him soundly for the de ception. Mr. Napoleon looked surprised. 'Modems," he protested, "l saw ze fem.,lo parrot lay wise eggs wiz my mil two eve-. was n Unest ptard in ee world, but, I cannot vouch for as morality Of .; purrote." raca wssmi bsswimi One thousand shingles, laid four inches to the weather, will cover olio thousand square feet of surface, nnd live pounds of shingle nails will fasten them on. One fifth More siding and flooring is needed than tho number Of sipiare feet of RQrface to be covered, because of the hip in the siding und matching of the floor. hie thousand lathe w ill cover sev enty yards of surface, and eleven lbs. of lath nails will nail them on. Might bushels of good limej sixteen bushels ( f sand, and one bushel of hair, will make enough good mortar to plas ter one hundred square yards. A cord ot stone, three bushels of lime and n cubic yard of sand will lay one hundred cubic feet of wall. Five courses of brick will lay one foot in height on a chimney ; six bricks in a course will make a flue four inches w ide and twelve inches long : and eight bricks in a course will make a flue eight inches wide and sixteen inches long. $5u25 ia advance we will acrid to any address fr.r ono year HARPERS' MAGAZINE and the DEMO CRAT. And for $5.50 in advance we will send to any address for a year HARPERS' WEEKLY and the DEMOCRAT. I cHatiry. sot m nun a, "You wi.h to l a lawyer, John wtll, I'd not say a word (TaleM I felt quite eertain that your loiijgr- ings are aueurd ; I don't wish to discourage you, but then I can't onsent To board you,s 1 il Lev lo do, and jay your office rent. "You've got a set of lusty Jimbs and ordi nary head, Ail you are meant by common toil to earn your daliy bread; Hut iliri'. ing farm and pleasant home w le re man and wife atrme Best any one-horse lawyer's as far ae yon can see. " Jf you'd been lorn with talent, John, you'd long since hov ahown That you had gifts, by stealing olTtosludy laeks alone. N'ow, if yon ever lead a book I r ally don't know when, Vlraiajb, eaSSS to think, I b'Jeve you ling a i-omvwliat leg.J pen. bs wis, my boy, the legal ranks are more 1 1 an crowded now, Ani na:; ,f them who starve therein were eel out for the plow, n tbay miHtK,k pure lazineae for talent, andSnasnd, A .1 to fill a big supply where there 1 no demand. " Are tbey adntaiiil V Yea, bat here let me explain T.ist eed that's sow n in shaky sod brings f&Sth bat little graiu ; And this bftgber education to an onlinary aatad U like a iair of big gold specs upon a man Ibat'a blind. : bars ia no prouder place than 'Iwixttbo bamiiea of a plow; rTboagS Stasspy land has humbled meat timet, I mu-st allow), An 1 as for human grea'nets, I should think I had mv share It I could take Die prize for cows at oar next county fair. "Ju-t emulate your sire, my on, and jofct a sure at fate, You'll live to be respected, though per - hap- you vveu'l be great, But enter law, and five short years will cJeau you out eo bad You'll have no recollection ot the last SffWSSS meal you've had." It riM il.. A money maniac--"Our Uiicle." Tic- ball. it, iht's home is uiie flight up "I aui hhcckid,' aa the eut grain wail. a i-ign Indorsing a wortLIeva r. ,t . Oil 1 In I notations The j.iiee tf tA.-k a. . . 0 I r 1 ! I v -akin; intoxicants aie When does a lock get ripe enough to 0ci t . . , , . divoice lawyer s favorite fimt A Urt A man who OBCM ovsters does things by halves. After all, dialing in iee ia a slippery husim-ss. :ig of the cook Hold the foik, fry bum coming. A corn dodger A man wLo avoids wearing tight boots. ( 'locked stockings are very : It iking articles of apsareL It does not improve a potato to have -; ecks on its eyes. j "Ewe get out :' as the farmer said to the lamb in his corn. Samson was one of tie BrSt men who "took up his residence." The man w ho had a sling in his hand now cat l ies his hand in a sling. A new version : "I can bark as well as you." as the tiee said to the dog. A hen always knows ihe man who robs her nest, for she is alwsvs laying for him. Oil Is are fond of military titles, ex cepting, serhapa, that ef general house work. "O Ye" is the name of a Chatham street laundrymau. We presume he is "of little faith." There is a gieat water famine in some parts of New Jersey, but apple-jack was never cheaper. If a railroad sheuld run over a rat's tail would Mr. IVrgh advise tearing up tracks. We!!, wife, you can't say I ever contracted bad habits." "No, sir; you generally expand them." When the baby cries for bread it is the most natural thing for the mother to give it a rock. Shakseare knew all about doctors. He said : "Hew jaoor are they that have no patience." WhSSt your credit fails in every other particular patronize a clock it is con tinually "ticking." A correspondent wants to know "where cannibals eat people the most V' In their mouths. Many a man goes to his grave with out ever having known what it was to get spilt out of a sleigh. The Chinese are too polite to call a blustering man "a blowhard." They say he is "a paper tigei." Why are pianos the noblest ef manu factured articles ? Because they are upright, grand and square. Jones, speaking of the beef served at his boarding-house, says it is neck or nothing with his landlady.