SCAt IS BIGHTS DEMOCRAT OLDEST DEMOCRATIC PAPER IN OREGON. RATES OP ADVERTISING. 1 W l M 3 M 6 M f 1 YP. 1 Inch, j 1 CO .1 00 6 Oft S' 00 13 00 1 la. I 2 00 S On 7 00 13 00 IS III! 3 in, 3 00 C 00 10 00 15 00 22 0 4 In. 4 00 :r 00 12 50 18 00 27 00 I Cot. A 00 9 09 15 00 25 00 35 OR t Col. 1 50 12 Oft 18 00 SO 00 48 00 i Cot. Ill 0U 15 00 25 00 40 00 R0 00 1 Col. 15 00 20 00 40 00 00 00 100 CO . PCBLUBKD BTBRT rRITtAT, Y ..MART. V. BROWN. OFFICE IN PARRISH'S BLOCK. FIRST STREET. TERMS, in apvaxch : One year, $-1 j Six t meatbs, i3 ; Three month. $l ; Ou month, SO ccbU; Single Conies, 12J cent. Correspondent writing over assumed ipna tnrec or anonymously, roust .nuke known tbi-ir proper name to th Editor, nr no attention will lis given t their eoraniuuication. BUSINESS CARDS. ; I. II. craiyor, ATTORXET 1SD COUXSELOR iT LiW Ortc In tain, lauy Parish's Oregon. Brick BuildinK. up v7u4Stf. I. 31. JOXES, M. 1 PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, ALBANY, OREGON. lSS-Offioe: In R- C. Hill Son Drujt store. Residence: On Second street, south (he Cartwright A arclimie. v7n40'f - S. A. JOUR'S, . ATTORNEY AT LAW, ALBANY, OREGON. "Office la the Court House." f W. G. JONES, M. D. fflomccopatkic Physician, ALBANY, OREGON. v7n20yl. r. A.. ciM. CurvaMi. I. jr. smTU Linn Co. CMENOWETH & SMITH. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Corvallis, Oregon. 0-Officb t tje Court House. v6n27 JOMX J. WHITXEY, 1TT01YEY 1D COUNSELOR AT LAW and Notary Public. Special attention given to collections. OrriCK L'u stuir in Farrislt's Brick. Albany. Oregon. r3n33tf. STRL'CXKEIEU, MERCHANT TAILOR! TI AVINU RECEIVED FROM PORTLAND JjJ a splendid stuck af goods, uerior trf au a tau market, aud maue in tbe lalut e f..;.w T ni.ranlfa to r.e sallsfaCtloll t. all. L. STIilCKMElEK. n34if GEO. a. HELM, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW Kill practice in all tbe Court of tbia State. OFFICE: ALBANY. OREGON. Xor. II, isr. PAPER HANGING CALCEY.1N1NG, IeeorstIin?, Ac. -w-e V. WADSWOKTH WILL PROMPTLY 1 . lr. atLoriun to all order ."or Paper i. r.Wminin- I.curatiof. Ac io tbi city or rieiuitj. A'1 wrk ecuul ip tile lal .t sfrle. in tiie best oiaouer, at tbe lowest liv -Ordcrs leit rt the Furniture Warcroom oi Cha. Mealcj. will receive prompt attention. v7nl4tf C. B. BELI.IS6BB. tuko. BCuneaTEB. BELLINGER & Bd RASTER, ATTORNEYS AT LAW. No. 89 First Street, PORTLAND, - - OREGON. Special attention gen to .natter in Bankrupt cy and all business in United State Courts. v6n21tf. G. F. SETTLEN.IER, Druggist and Apothecary! DEALEB IN DRUGS, MEDICINES, OILS, Paint. Window Ulas. Dyestufis. Liquor. Fancy Soap, li rashes, Perfumeries, Ac. ' Pmcriptioos Carefsllj Cempeanded. All art cle and Drug in onr line warranted f. ha best quality. - ... I First street, Pot Offiee building, Albany. .s julijrin48jl . a. o bois, nccuiLocH. X. S. BV BOSS & CO., CONSTANTLY ON HAND AND RECEIV ING a large stock o." Groceries eni Provi ion, WoedaDd Willow Ware, Tobacco, Cigar. Cenfeetiooory, Yankee Notion, etc., etc. Wholesale a4 Xtetsul. ' We sail t tba lowest Living Rt. aad delirer free el charge throughout tbe city. erOpposi-e R. C. Hill t Son' Drag Store, JUbany. Oregon. jun!0rjn43yl ' ALBANY BATH HOUSE! THE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RESPECT fally inform the citizens or Albany and ri etnity that be baa taken charge or tbia Establish meat, and, by keeping clean looms and paying atrict attention to business, expect to suit ail those who may faror him with their patronage. Having ueretofoie carried on nothing bat First-Class Hair Dressing Saloons, ke expects to give entire satisfaction to alL a-Childten and Ladies' Hair neatly ent aadTbampooed. JOSEPH WEBBER. v3n33tf. SOMETHING NEW IN DENTISTRY DR. E. O. SMITH, DEJfTIST, HAS LOCATED IN ALBANY and ha-a the new invention ia nlate work, which consists in Inserting teeth in tbe mouth witbort covering the whole roof, as heretofore. It gives tbe Wearer the free use of the tongue to tbe roo" of the math ia talkioz and tasting. It is the Smiib A Parvine patent. Teeth extracted without pain. Plates Wiended, whether broken or divided. Oce one leer east of Conner's Bank, np stairs. v7n45tf. r DEIVTISTRY. GSO. W CSAT, D. 9. S. BOES ALL WORK IN THE line of his profession in tbe ialett, belt and tnotl approved methods. Anaesthetic agents used for tbe painless ex fraction of teeth if desired. ? Particular attention given to tbe regulation of Children s (eetn. - Dental eeasultations and exanrinatioris free. ' Batisfacttoa 2a!ranteed in every ea. Call - at his office and examine specimens of his work. Charges moderate. . Office in Farrisb's Brick Ilock, np-stair. vSnltf. . JOS. 15E1XI1, CONSTABLE AND GENERAL COLLECTOR, , . North Portland Precinct. - Reference by permission to the' following gentlemen . His Honor Philip Wasserman, Mayor of the City of Portland;- Boo. Engene Semple; Dr. J. A. Chapman; Dr. J..C. Hawthorne? Dr. LA. Davenport; L S. Rosenbaum A Co.; Knapp, jsorrell Co.: K. J. JeKries: Clarke, Hender son k, Cook; S. G. Skidmore; E. Martin A Co; A. B. Richardson A Co.; Mulard A Vanscny ver. OFFICE 25 Washington $irt ae-i Seooadv Street, between vJntrtf. VOL. VIII. Hard times. BY AOtSTUS LA UN EI). Mrs. Fairuinn was a proud woman, if she did enjoy miserry, nnd bIio had no intention of letting .Mrs. llenslow know that tho family lived on cau- aille bread. O bed had been kicked in tho sliest by Black Bill, who was trying to run with tho cart, ami now ho lay on tun bed in the family bedroom, and Sa lome was willi him. Mrs. Fairmait had told the men folks, more than a hundred times, that they ought to sell Black Bill : but sho was not any body to be considered, and no heed was paid to what she said. 1 hero was oue satisfaction though: things had turned out exactly as she pre dicted they would, aud that was the worst possible. jNow 6he stepned away Irora tho stove where she had been carefully covering up the little gray loaves with a crash towel, she glanced out of the window at the spring pastures that were perishing for the want of rain, and where tho cattle could scarcely get a mouthful; and beyond to the hard-looking plowed iields that bhowed only the lainte.-t glimmer of blue-green-oals. I ho wells were giving out, and springs that never be fore had been known to fail. Mrs. Fairman's face had a cut-water out-line. It was rheumy and pinched in at the nostrils, and tucked down at the corners of the mouth. Now, as she looked at the cold, black, brown iivlds taken in connection with the canaille loaves behind the etove, it seemed plain to her mind that there iiras a very judgment upon them; and in a somewhat vague way she con nected the judgment with Obed, "who had never been under conviction siuce she married him,' aud who had sel dom stepped his foot into the meet ing hou.-c at the Corners. She had read in the newspapers that the drouth extended over the whole of New England, and a large portion of the eleru Mates; but it did not occur to her that l'ruvidence was go mil considerably out ot the way to pimUdi Obed fur his obstinacy and spiritual blindncsa. A man had ridden early in the morning over from Salisbury, with Whitcoinls bill, and had threatened to Levy on some ot the l.-irm impii menis, aud order a idic-riir sale unless it was paid in ten days. Mrs. Fair man knew that Obed was drained" of money, aud the prospect of being sold out of house and home, a thing she had so often predicted would hap pen, seemed dismally near. Miss llenslow lived across the road in a little houe that appvared to be always m the sulks. JSow she Ietl her goose heating, and took a section of jJeacon Broderip'a coat over her arm, itli her big tailors's shears at her side, and went, stooping, across the way. She had a crooked back, and a hooked nose, with a mouth that hid itself in the big cavity of her face, and which, some way, gave one the impression of a gigantic owl. She ap peared to have a three-story throat, and to speak out of the basement door. She stepped over one Salome's flower beds, where the "sturtions could not push their heads through the caked soil, aud she gave a sharp neck on the wiudow paue with her steel thimble. I cot the fidgets setting alone," she began, as Mrs. Fairinan admitted her, and settled down and let her poke bonnet fall back, showing a ring ot snuffv brown hair on each side of her lace, done up with a big pin, "You see I d readied of rats last night, and it s alw avs a bod sign. 1 he last time it happened was just before Aunt Debby Strong died. Selh Barnaby and bis cousin went np to watch tbe last night, and they said Miss 1 ratt. who d been bired to stay there, set the scantiest supper ever was. Did you hear about lliram Walker's wife? She was Aunt Debby's niece, and is coming into the property; and jut as soon as she got back irom tbe grave, she went to counting over the things, and what do you think? there was six of tUe old lady s best sheets gone." "JJear me, said JUrs. J? airman, com ing out of the buttery with her apron half full of dried applies, "these are solemn times. Tbe expreesion had great force, al though it was little uncertain whether it applied to Aunt Debby s sheets or to things in general. 1 guess they may be, croaked Miss llenslow. suspending tbe opera tion of parting one of the seams of Deacon Broderip's coat. "It looks as though there wouldn't be a spear of gram raised this season : and there s Dare Blodgett, one of them Miller ites second adventers they call themselves saying the wored's going to be burnt this year, on ' account of the big horn and the little horn in the book of Daniel. I asked if he wouldn't get me to make bis ascen sion robe. lor i thought u Be aian t come out 'straight in" bis calculations. I might as well have the job." Salome stepped oat of the bedroom with a great bowl in her bad. She was a tall girl, with light hair just turning a little on gold; It had slipped oat of its braid, and was bang ing against her white neck. "What a mob of hair Lome bas got," said Miss Henslow, when Bhe bad gone back into the bedroom. notice that weakly girls are apt to ran to hair. -.1- "Salome ain't rugged, that's eer tain," said Mrs. Fairman, who was in terrupted , in her calculations as to whether she could squeeze' out mo lasses enough to sweeten the dried ap pies she was coring. She am tough, and bad to be put to bard work before she got her growth. It fcaraa Jane didn't keep school to help along, I could let Salome putter around for a year or two, and then I guess she'd get hearty, for the doctor says there ain't anything chronicle." 1 don't know about, that," broke in Miss Henslow.- ' "She looks to me just like Sister Patty's girl that went oil' with galloping consumption." "There ain't no consumption in the family," returned Mrs. Fairman, giv ing a snappish little jerk to tho hand that held the bread knife." "Wal, I didn't mean td Scare you, Mrs. Fuirman; but then it's always best to bo prepared for things as they come along." "I'm never unprepared," returned tho other dismally. Tvo gone through so much, that it seems as though I was always expecting trouble; and Obed, ho don't seem to sense tilings as I do. Koligion is a great solemtii.er, Miss llenslow; and now when it looks as if wo all were going to starve, and the cows don't averago any day more than two quarts apiece, it seems a sin to be making okes." "Look there at Miss Dacres," said the lailorcss. "Ain't sho still-necked V understand Jo comes here pretty of ten after Lome." Ho comes to see the boys, re turned Mrs. Fairman, with some its- eritv. "Law, a young lellow can visit the bovs aud Sduint toward a girl at tno samo time. lui l u leu you wnai, . .. . ... ..." . . the old lady won't like it if Jo means to play that game. 1 lecl it my duty as a Iricud to let you know iiow tnu land lays." Airs. 1' airman bad timshcd coring icr apples: and now she went to tho sink and began plying with thchandl of the pump with such vigor that her neighbor s last words were lorlnnate ly lost. Mrs. llenslow remembered her goose heating red-hot over home, bo sue toot nerseii ami ner voice s t II . - away; but not belore she had got a peep al the canaille bread under the crah towel; and that same afternoon she thought it was her uuty to go over to 31rs. Seth Spenzcr s and tell that lady how straightened the Fair mans were. Jo Dacres, abroad-shouldered, lustv voung fellow, with a great stride, and a cheery, loud voice, w as just opening the gato of the house. It was the snuggest, best kept farm in the neigh borhood. Simon Dacres, the old man, was forehanded, and had money laid tin in the bank: and if there i anything country folks do respect and bow belore, it is money it tho bank. Mrs. Dacres always regulated her affairs by the almanac; aud the first of May the sitting room stoVe was taken down, whether or no; and now the house was as chilly as a cellar, with a clean smell about it of w lute waf-li and varnudi. Mrs. Dacres was waiting for the men loiks to come to uitiner. rhe had blown the born twice out of the back door, and the Pork in the spider wfs curling itsclt up into little, bard, bilious looking scraps. V ith en forced patience she came in and sat down in the rocking chair, with its pulfy feather cushion, and untied her cap strings. Mie was a large woman, with a heavy tread, and a double chin. and an immense talent tor managing. In ber own person, she represented the hard-hearted ethics of Burnham and perhaps was more honest if less nice than some of her neighbors. "Obed Fairman has been kicked by a horse, mother, said Jo, betraying a little hesitation in bis tone. "The hurt isn't dangerous, but I think it would look friendly if you would step in aud inquire how he is." "If is isn t dangerous 1 shan t stir a step, returned 3lrs. Dacres, shutting her mouth in positive line, "loudo running enough over that way for the rest of tho family; and I expect that you'll make a fool ot yourself one of these days. "There might be two opinions about that, said Jo, rather evasively, "Wal, you know what I think right out flat-footed? Your'e banging around that girl, and I expect you will get a weakly wife on your bands who will be whining 'round with neuraligy or higbpo half the time. Obed is shiftless. I don't mean that he is lazy; but he hain't got no kal kerlation. llis wits are wool-gather ing, half the time, and Salome is cut out of the same piece of cloth. She' as easy as an old shoe, and would sozzle 'round a house and tend a lot of flowers, no matter whether there was any bread in the bouse or not. If yon are ever going to get ahead in the world, you must marry a woman that can help you push and pull, as I've helped your father; a regular staver, that can put her shoulder to the wheel, and not a bundle of aches and pains tied round the middle with a string, who will eat you up with doctor's bills." Here was the Burnham valuation of woman, and in the plainest words. "She isn't sickly." said Jo, in a gloomy tone. "She may not be quite as strong as some girls, but I feel sure she will turn out a healthy woman. I've told yon before, mother, that I don't mean to marry a drudge or a glare. I shan't look out for a wife to do my cooking and washing and scrubbing, and nothing else. I want a human companion, and if I have a man to help me on the farm, my wife shall have a girl in the kitchen. I shan't go and look up a wife as I would a horse. A man gets his eye on a girl and he longs for her, he likes her-he can't tell why. She is differ ent to him from any other woman in the world, and be can't be happy without ber. It isnt a thing for fellow to be ashamed of, n .ithevi' he's got one spark of manliness in him; and that's the way LAeel to wards Salome." "Granny," exclaimedSlrs. Dacres, bringing heir broad band down on tbe chair at the height of the young fel low's ardor. "Do yon think your father and me is going to give that we've just worked and dug out of the ground, to feed the Fairman tribe?" "I don't ask for your money," re turned Jo,- rather savagely "I shall take what grandfather left me, and stoek a hired - farm, and then I shall ask Salome to be my wife.",::; He strode out of the room- wiShout eating his dinner, and . marched' off to the- wood to- free his mind of excite ALBANY, OREGON, FRIDAY, DECEMBER 0, ment. As ho was getting over the suaku fcii'jo by the rorulsidc, ho ,saw filler Korlhrup stop under tho cherry tree in front ot the r airman farmhouse aud fasten his horse. Tho elder was a little man, nnd nnd his Sunday suit seemed to tyrannize' over him a good deal, llis coat cutlH dfcended over lis hands, a tuft of still' hair stocd up above his narrow forehead, and he spoke with a suulllo. Mrs. a airman was ironing by the table when sho saw him ride up, and she put her Hut-iron back on tho stove, and went out on tho stoop to meet him. "I am so glad you happened along to-day," she said, "with her luce drawn into ild usual pucker of anx ious concern, "l'erhaps you heard that Obed got hurt. He's laid up now, and 1 thought me duo it you should talk to htm there might bo an kening. X ou don t know how I have wrestled m prayers to bring Obed to conviction. 1 often think of what the Bible says about being nit- equally yoked witn an unbeliever, not that 1 would have it thought that Obed ain't a good, moral man, kind to his women folks, and as good a prov idcr as can be when times ain't hard, but it's been a trial." I know it has, sister. These are llilthy rags of self-righteousness," said the elder, taking out his bandanna ami wining tho dust from his legs - 1 ho human heart is decoitiid in all thing, and desperately wicked." Salome had been smoothing Obed s iron gray hair, lie loved to lecl the touch of her delicate fiiigers. One big brown hand with prominent joints lay on the patched quilt, and tho man's lace, so rugged aud homely, with still a dreamy look in his eyes, was soft ened w i ll almost a childlike expres muii ot peace. Airs. J-airman tamo u.ihoring in tho elder. "t.lad to see you, said Obed to the little parson, and bo put out his hand with genuine warmth. "1 ve had a little pull back, but the doctor says I shall be around agaiu in a day or two." "Ahem !" returned tho parson clear ing his throat; "The Lord sends sea sons of afflictions upon us to bring us to a itenso oi mil "I don't know about that," returned be with his eye brightening, "I ain't as familiar with the Lord's intentions as some folks profcos to be; and as for tbe trouble, I guess we bring the most of it on ourselves." "That ain't Bible doctrine," return ed the elder.' rather dismally, "It may do to live by, but it won't serve in tbe hour of death. "I don't know why," said Obed, whetting bis argumentative weapon "I guexs w hat will stand in this life will stand in auy other." "The impenitent heart is tho gall of bitterness and the bond ot iniquity, replied the elder, fidgeting on his chair, " How will the sinners feel in the day when the goats are separated from the sheep "According to my ciphering, said Obed, "God means to take care of the goats too. lhcy may not bo worth as much as the sheep; there's a big difference in folks; but I guess they 11 go for what they are worth. At any rate, I shall take what comes without grumbling or complaining. There is a passage of Scripture that says '1 hough He slay me, yet wil 1 trust him,' 1 have thought of that a good many times when I've been working alone in the field; and I guess I can take what the Lord sends; but there are some things men would like to force on me, I ain't so ready to re ceivc." The elder could'nt think of answer to this, so he cleared bis throat, and said, "I should like, if you don't ob ject, to have a season of prayer." "I don't mind your prayer," replied Obed, cheerfully, "if you want to, but I guess tbe .Lord knows all you can tell bim, and little more. Folks tako a sight of pains to give information There's a still, small voice spoken of, that I've thought I heard out in the lot sometimes, with the birds singing and everything 6tul, and my heart has answered, and 1 ve had a kind of no ViUM Vila, blian nan 4 li.jcii Mrs. Fairman and Salome we wins pering together in tho kitchen. "We must try and scrape the barrel," said the anxious house-wife, so as to get white flour enough to make griddle cakes for tea; then we can put on the canaille bread to look like one kind x on must tea n.zra to be sure and refuse the cakes. He's dreadful fond of them. There's tho dried apple sauce and a little mite ot plum pre serves, just enough to help the elder twice ; so I guess we shall manage to appear respectable. The next day there rcame a change in the weather. Tho cold northeast wind gave way to a south breeze, and it grew warm and close. Big black clouds rolled up the sky, and anxious longing eyes watched it, and prayed tor rain. The shower was coming when Sa lome went into her father's room with a letter in her hand. "Why, child," said he opening it "Bunker, the man that bought tbe old Havnes place, wants to get three acres off of tbe back end of my land It's a strong piece, but it goes corner ing into b and there's somer folks bear to have a notch in and I guess he's one of them ind. , He offers a big price, and the money will pay off my debts to Whit comb's, and leave me something over It does seem as though there was a Providence in it. I can't ever see that the Lord bears a spite to bis chil dren, but I'm ready to acknowledge all his mercies." "Ob, father, it's raining Y cried Sa lome, as she rushed to the window.-" The big warm drops were beginning to patter down on the grassland soak into the ground. "That is music," said Obed, with his face all aglow. "It makes me' think of where the Bible speaks about 'the fields' yielding their." in crease, and the clouds dropping fat ness!' There aint no' such- poetry as that anywhere." )U I III III The shower lasted along time, nnd with tho patter on tho roof, and tho great peace that had fallen on his spirit, Obed fell asleep. Salome sat cHide him. Presently there ciunu n tap at tho window. She started, and there stood Jo Dacres, leaning over the low sill backed by n lilac bunli just sliakingout its purple plumes. Every thing was glittering with bright drops, nnd n robin was singing over-head. Salome went softly to the window, and sho never forgot how tho bird's song sounded. She w as dressed in a palo bluo calico, a glazy stuff, but it just suited her style; and now, ns she i i . . . . i i .i i . . j. I, . i . leanuu out, ner ngui nair leu uoout her face. "I've taken tho Sninner nlace." whis pered Jo, "and used grnnlather's mon ey to stoek it. I feel as strong as fif ty men, but if you should refuse to marry me, I should bo as weak as a cat." This is tho way Jo proposed, and Salome junt put out her hands to him, and for one moment her face was out of sight. The robin went on singing, and a tree bough showered down bright drops on Salome's hair, and the early roses began to blow, and good momt smells came lrom everything, and there, over the happy girl's shoul ders, was a rainbow spanning tho dark clouds, w hich seemed to promise that an end had come to hard times. Kr.iii tho N. Y. Hi inl.1.1 VAtHE UK CIUMK. IlrmarkaljleMta.tenu.nt of New York Dis trict Attornoy. T . . .. . a in mo course oi an mbircss to the jury, yetsterday, District Attorney Millivan made the following observa lions : This is tho closing day of tho Octo ocr term, and l wmii to impress one practical lcnon on tho members of the jury. We have tried parties for every grade of crime the defendants being oi every age and both sexes. In almost every iustanco it appeared that drunkenness was the occasion of the crime. Especially was this so with the young men. In these davs oi agnation iur reiorms i wish we could inaugurate a movement for so ciai and temperance relornt and save thousands of our bovs who are in fearful peril. At the Tombs, on Sat urday last, I was talking with Airs Foster, the worthy matron in cbargi of tho women a department. She said, "The women here are generally sent because of drinking, and yonder (pointing to the boys' department) aro the children of drunkards." You and I do not discharge our w hole du ty to the community when wo try case. What we learn here should prompt us in our social duties. I do not know how any man can do . more good in this community than by ef forts to promote total abstinence from intoxicating liquor. The Father Ma- thew societies are a great blessing, and hardly ever has one of their mem a a Dors uecn accused ot any crime in this court. ISFLCEXCE OF A NEWSPAPER. A school teacher, who has been en gaged a long time in bis profession, ana wttnessea tne innuence oi news papers on the minds of a family of ... . . cnuuren, writes as ioiiows: "I have foucd it to be tbe univer sal fact, without exception, that those scholars, of both sexes, and all ages, who have access to newspapers at borne, when compared with those who have not, are better readers, ex cellent in pronunciation, and conse quently read more understanding They are better spellers, and define words with ease and accuracy. "They obtain a practical know! edge of geography in almost half the time it requires otners, as the news paper has made them familiar with the location of tbe most important places, nations, governments and doiugs on the globe. Thcy are better grammarians: for having become so familiar with every variety of tbe newspaper, from the commonplace advertisement to tke finished and classic oration of the statesman, they more readily compre hend tbe meaning of his text, and consequently analyze its construction with accuracy. What the Pio Died of. There was a miser who was considered im pregnable to charitable associations until a Hibernian genius "came Pad dy over bim." Teddy went to his office one morning, and told a pite ous story about losing bis pig, and tbe only one he had. "Shure," says Teddy, "Misthress (naming a very excellent lady, whose good opinion old Hard Fist was anxious to retain), "towld me to come to ye for ye wor very rich, and gev a power of money to tbe poor, (iod bless you I only want to rase enough to buy me another little snap of a pig. The miser couldn't resist the lnllu ence of Mrs. , so he gave Teddy a crown. A few days afterwards he met him. "Well, Teddy," said he, "did you buy another pig?" "Troth I did; and a fino one it is." "Then take better care of it than you did of the other. - What did the pig you lost die of r 5 "Die of ," said Teddy, raising his eyebrows? "shure he didn't die he was fat enough, and I killed him r . A gentleman in Iowa who recently became the father of a fine boy, and wbo naturally deemed it the hand eomest child ever born, thought he saw a chance for liberality without the expenditure of any money. So he offered a premium of $100 for the prettiest baby that should be exhibi ted at an approaching fair, not doubt ing that the judges must award ' the premium to his own. There were nine entries, comprising seven white ana two ngro. une of the neg babies gained the $100 premium. A young man who ought to1 be ashamed of himself, in commenting on the firemen's parade, said that wet day was always favorable for an exhibition of hose-.- 1872. A NOlILK WlViS. A Wife Iluntlntr Dovra m Criminal anil Mcurlii Jlur HnubniiaV Pardon. The Governor of Missouri has re cently pardoned nn inmate of the eniteiitiary. under circumstances which furnish a remarkable and touch ing inslauco of what a devoted, trust ing nnd energetic wife can do for nn unfortunate liu1aiid. The latter used to live in Toledo, Ohio, and tho facts of his ease arc vouched for by respect able journals of that place, Some time ngo he removed to Missouri with is wile, and early in 1870 the events fell out that proved so disastrous to urn, It appears that he was not very prosperous, and had occasion to sell as nearly the last ot bis possessions a pair of fine horses. For these he received $S00 in clean new NATIONAL CUKKENCY. The stock-dealer who bought the hor ses afterward disappeared. On the next day after the sale the vender paid out two bills of 810 each. It was discovered that they wero coun terfeit, and the uttercr was promptly arrested and lodged in prison, lie, ot course, directly protested his inno cence, and told how ho got the mon ey; and the remaining $480 was found ou Jus person. The horse-dealer was traced and brought forward. when, to the horror and astonishment of the accused man, he stoutly denied all knowledge of the bad bills, and swore the money ho had paid for the horses was in bills on an old Illinois bank. NO CON FIRM ATOKY EVIDENCE, Of the prisoner's tale could be got, and nfl much counterfeit money had lately been circulated in that region public feeling ran strongly against him. He was tried, and despite his earnest protestations and bis wife s determined struggles in his behalf, be waa found guilty and sentenced to five years' imprisonment in tbe peni tentiary. But tho wife never for a moment believed bim guilty, and with astonishing resolution and pertinacity she now bent herself to the task of proving bis innocence and effecting iiis release. To the latter end she first sought and obtained interviews with tho OOVEXNOUOF MISSOURI. To bim she stated her case ns she saw and believed it. But the Gov ernor, although kind, was firm. The prisoner had been shown to bo guilty. Counterfeiting was greatly on the in crease. It waj necessary to make ex amples, and there was every just rea son why her husband should be one of tin-in. lie could bold out no hope, save in the condemned' restoration to his family after five years. The wife went home, converted all she had into cash, and thenceforward de voted her whole time and brain xo following tho horse-dealer, who had given ber husband the THE SPUKIOUS NO EES, With the hope of convicting the re ally guilty person of that offense. Pursuing him like a shadow, but keeping out of bis sight, she soon found that when he w ent to a place counterfeit money was said to be in circulation soon after. This happen ed at Freeport, 111-, and afterward at Fort Wayne, Ind. At the latter place sho caused his arrest. Nothing could be proved against him, and he was set free. She then dogged him to Canton, Ohio, to Pittsburg, Altoo na, Lancaster, Chamberburg, Phila delphia. Goshen, Bingharapton, Os wego, Elraira and other towns in New York, sometimes staying a month or two in each place. The man was, however, so GUARDED AND INGENIOUS As always to manage to cover his tracks ; in fact, he never passed false "paper" himself at all, and his impla cable pursuer was unable to bring him to account. At last, however, he fell ill at Newton, Sussex county, N. J., and 6he believed and proved that her golden oppurtunity was at band. When the horse-dealer fell ill, tbe wife of his victim was at the same ho tel. She found out the physician at tending him and frankly told him her story. Sho described how she had tracked the cause of 1IEB HUSBAND'S MISFORTUNES, And begged the doctor for the sake of right and justice to help her. The physician was moved by ber tale, and agreed to do what she asked, which was to give his patient some depress ing, but safe medicine, and adroitly to lead bim to think that be was in a very critical coudition. This was ac cordmgly done, and worked to a charm. The patient begged at once for a clergyman, who, arriving, point ed out the necessity of full repent ance, and at this juncture the wife en tered the room, and implored the supposed dying man to repair TILE GREAT WBOJfO lie naa aone ber husband. Abe re sult wns that the sufferer made a dep osition before a magistrate, confessing that he had passed the $500, as de scribed, and furthermore that he. was a member of an extensive gang of counterfeiters, his special business be ing, not to utter bad money, but to spread it among confederates in dif ferent parts of the country. He also said that on the occasion of .making the trade in question, he happened to have no other" money, and greatly wanted the horses. Armed with this document, the now happy . woman hastened back to Missouri, laid her evidence before the Governor, and had the satisfaction of carrying a full pardon to ber husband almost imme diately after. The two are' now liv ing joyfully together on a farm in Southern Illinois,- and their case is at tracting abundant comment and con gratulation. ' Feeling remark "Happy is the county that has no history," as the school-boy said on being flogged for the third time for not knowing who' was Henry tho Sixth's wifov NO. 17. JOHII BILLI.VOS' 8 PICE-BOX. The Feathered One. DCK. The duk is a foul. There aint no doubt about this naturalists say so, and kommon sense tenches it. They are bilt sumthing like a hen, ond are an up-and-down, flat-footed job. They don't cackle like a ben, nor kro like the rooster, nor hollow like the peacock, nor scream like the goose, nor turk like the turkey; but they quack like a root dokter, arid their bills resemble a vetanury sur geon's. ! They bare a woven fut, and kan float on the water az natral as a sope bubble. They are pretty much all feathers, and when the feathers are all remov ed, and their innards out, tbare iz just about az mutch meat on them a4 thare iz on a krook necked squash bnt bas gone tew seed. Wild duk are very good shooting, and are very good to miss also, un less you understand the bizness. You should aim about three foot ahead ov them, and let them fly ' up tew the shot. . I bav shot at them all day, and got nothing but a tail feather now and tuen; but this satistied me. lor i am krazy for all kind ov spore, yu kbow J. hare are sum kind ov duks -that are very hard to bill, even if yu dew hit tbem. I shot one hole aftcrnuue. thre years ago. at some decoy ducks and never got one of them. I bav never told ov this before, and hope no one will repete it tbia is strikly confidensbal. TCEKEY. , Boast turkey is good, but turkey with kraubcrry sass is better. Tbe turky is a sedate person, and seldom forgets herself by gittin onto a frolic. They are of various kolors, and lay from 12 to 18 eggs, and they generally lay tbem where nobody is looking for them but themselves. Turkeys travel about 9 miles a day during pleasant weather, in sarch ov their daly bred, and are smart on a grasshopper, and red hot on kriket. Wet weather is bard on a turkey a good smart shower will drown a young one, and make an old one look and akt az tho tba bod just bin pulled ant ov a swill barrel with a pair ov tongs." The maskuline turkey, or gobbler, az tbey are familiarly called, bav seasons ov strutting which are im mense. I bav seen them blow themselves up with sentiments of pride or anger, and travel around a red flannel petti- ..... s coat nung onto a ciose line just as tbo they was mad at the petticoat for sumthing it bad did or Bed to them. Tbe hen tnrkey alwus haz a lone sum look to me as tho she had been abused bi sumboddy. - Turkeys kan endure as much kold wether az the vane on a church stee ple. I hav known them tew roost all nigbt on the ton limb ov an oak tree. with the thermometer 20 degrees belo zero, and in tbe morning fly down and wade thro the sno in a barn yard to kool oph. P. S. If you kant hav kranbery witn roast turkey, apple sass will do THE HOSST HITCH. Tbe hosstritch is a citizen of the dessart, and lays an egg about the size ov at man's bed the next day after be bas been on a bumming excursion Tbey resemble in size and figger about 15 sbanghi roosters at once, and are chiefly important for the feathers that inhabit their tails. The bosstrich are hunted on boss back, and they can trot a mile kluss to three minmtts. They lay their eggs in the sand, and think that the heat of the sand batches them ont. They aint bilt right for hatching out eggs, enny more than a sized figger 4 iz. large Adont Know wnetner their, eggs are good to eat or not, but I not, for I never have seen ham and hosstritch eggs advertised on any ov our fashionable bills ov fare Biled hosstritch may be nourishing and may be not; 1 think this would depend a good deal upon who' was called upon to eat it. I shan't never inquire for biled m . . a - nossmtcn az long az 1 remain , iff . mi right mind. If the hosstritch iz a blessing tew the dessart country, I hope they will stay thare, for so long az we have the buzzard and the Sandy Hul Crane I feel az tho we could git along and en dure life I am writin this- essa- on the hoss tritch a good deal by guess, for i hav never seed them in their uatiff land. nor never mean to, for jist as long az i kan git 3 meals- a day and liv where grass grows and water runs i don't mean tew hanker" for hot sand. ; r - THE-JP ABBOT. The parrot iz a bird of many col ors and inklined to talk. They take holt of things with their foot and hang on like a pair ofpmch ers. : ; - ' " : - Abey are tba only bird l kno' ov who kan konverse in the english lan guage, but like menny other nu be ginners they kan- learn tew swear" the eazyest. ' They are kept az pets, and like all other pets, are useless. - " In a wild state of naehur tha may be ov sum use, but they lose 90 per cent, ov their value by cultivation. Tha resemble the border injun- in this respect. y ;v-.--;. When yon cum to take 90 percent, oph from enny, thing, except the striped snaik, it seems to injure the profits. ' ; I owned a parrot once, for about a year, and then i gave, him away; i haint seen the man i gave him to since, but i presume he looks on me az a mean kuss. ' If i owned all the parrots thare iz fn the Tjnited States, i would baniab them immediately tew their , native land with the provizo .tkat tha shall 'eta there.- . .. . . Bnsinepp notice in the Local Columns. 25 eents ;er line, each inmsrtinn. tor legal and franxient ailrertiaemctit J2 50 per fnare of 12 line, fur the first insertion, and $1 00 per sqnare for each subsequent in sertion. . T I don't maik theze remarks tew in jure the feelings ov tboze who hav sot their pbeeangs on parrots, or pets ov enny kind, for i cant help but think that a person wbo gives up their time and tallents tew pets, over a sore-eyed lap dorg, displays grate nobility of kanfktcr. (This last re mark wants tew be took different from what it reeds.) THE BOBA LINE. The bobalink iz a blak bifd with white spots on bim. They make their appearance in tho northern states about tbe 10th Ov J, une, aud commence bobolinking at once. They inhab'.t the open land, add lav a meadow tbat iz a lectle damp. The female bird don't sing, for tne male makes noize enuff fut the whole family. Tbey,have but one song, but they understand that perfektly well. When tbey ting their mouths git az full ov musik as a man's duz Ov bones who eats fried herring for breakfast. Bobolinks are1 kept in cages, and three or four ov tbem in one room make just about as mutch noize az an infant class repeating the mUltiplTca sbun table all at once. THf EAGLE . Thare is a grate deal of poetry1, in eagles, they can look at the sun with out winking; they kari split the clofida with their flashing speed: tbey can pierce the blue etberial awity up ever so far; they kan fall into midnight's blak space like a falling star; tbey kan set on a giddy krag four thou sand miles bi and looking down onto k green pasture kan tell whethef a lamb is fat enough to steal or not. Jupiter, tbe Peterfunk god ov the ansbunta, bad a grate taste for eagles, if we kan beleave what tbe poeks sing". I bav seen tbe bald-beaded eagle and shot tbem in all theirnative maj esty, and look upon them with tbe same kind ov veneration tbt 1 do upon all sheep stealers . CVttlOVH. Moses and Aaron VTilc&x w'eff born on the same day, married sisters, were partners in business in 1 wins burg, Ohio, which is called after tbem; died on the same day, and are buried in one grave. - Mr. G. W. Betts. who resides irf Beaverton, seven miles from Portland Oregon, has twin daughters, fourteen years of age in January, 1872. Tbey, were born Within one half minute of each other, and at birth there wa? just one-half pound difference in their" weight, and bas never been more' 6ince ; to use the expression of their father: "they always weigh in the" same notch." They hate the same height, color of hair and eyes, and are so much alike as scarcely to be known1 apart in their own family. $ If either one is called, or spoken to by naure tbe nearest one answers, ss names make no difference to them or the family. When one is unwell the oth er is unwell soon after. These thing? were found afnd noticed while study ing ancient astrology,- which teaches the hour and minute of birth, with the latitude and longitude' and posi tion of zodiac and planets therein j will describe and foretell the physical appearance, mental capacity, morar, worth, chronic ailments, and events f life of the nation. JDanocrcU. 'TGow Nuff" mit such Foolish ness." It is pleasant to become av parent ; twice as pleasant, perhaps to be blessed with twins; but when it comes to triplets We are a little dubi ous. There dwells in Jefferson cctm ty, Wisconsin, a worthy German, who a few years ago was presented by his wife with a son. Hans said to her: "Katrine, dat ish goof A couple of years later the good? woman plxtced before his astonished gaze a bouncing pair of twins. "Veil," said Hans, "dat ish bettef ash der oder time; I trinks more ash ten glass beer on dat." But the good woman next time gave birth to triplets, and that made' him "shpoke mit his mouth Aust a little," "Mine Got, Katrine! vat ish the matter oa you? Petter you stoop" diff pizzness 'fore der come more as a vil-r lage full1. I gotts nuff mit such fool isnhessl" No later returns fcSve been ref- ceived. Billings' Pbovesbs. A reputashur? for happiness wants as mutch, looking' into as a reputashnn for honesty. Affecktashun alwus looks well in- a monkey. ,-, Trieing So defino love istrieing tew" tell how you kum tew brake thru the ice all yu know about it is, yu fel in and got ducked A wize man never enjoys himsfetf so mutch, nor a fool so' lit tie, az when1 alone. I don't bet on prekofehus children the huckleberry tbat ripens the soon-1' est is alwus the fust to dekay. The bulk of mankind are mere'inf- itatcrs ov poor originals; An army chaplain relates the' fol-r lowing story: s Seeing a dirty-faced butternut urchin at the fence in frontt of the house,' the preacher said:- "Is your father at home?" "He's gone to church' "Is your mother' in?" ; . "No: she's gone too." "Then you're all by yourself?" "No, Sam's in thar huggin'sis 'sisfJer' "That's bad." , "Yes, it's bad, but it's tho best h can do." ' An Illinois woman went into tho river,Jon'suicida intent, the other day. A lot of sordid boys on the bank1 threw mtid at her, Old Adam- rose in her despairing bosom. She' waded1 ashore, tad the boys arrested4,-' and Bhe will put them through before Bhe' tries suicide again? ; ; - s Victor Hugo nronOsfiS' to- marr agaib-.