The state rights democrat. (Albany, Or.) 1865-1900, September 07, 1867, Image 1

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The state rights democrat., September 07, 1867, Image 1

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Newspaper Page Text-i k - 1. VOL. III. ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 1867. NO. L a t J I: ! j: ii STATE RIGHTS DEMOCRAT. rCBLISSKD BTBRT 8AT1IRDAT, T ABBOTT & BROWN. X. H. ABBOTT. J X. V. BROWS. OKiic-OTer H. OllTtr'i Store, First Street. T11RMS, n adtasc : One year, $3 Six Months $5; One Month, 50 ets.j Single Copies, 12 eta. If payment bo delayed six months $4 trill be charged if one year, $5. Correspondent writing oter ejwamed signatures or Monymoaslj, must make known their proper names to the Editor, or no attention will b given to thair eommanicatkns. ' All Letter and Communications, whether on basic es! or for publication, should b addressed to Abtxtt 4 Brown. . RATES OF ADVERTISING, MBtmj One Column, $100 ; Half Colamn, $60 Quarter Col umn, $35. Transient Advertisements per Square often lines or-less first insertion, $3 ; each subsequent inser tion, $1. For double column advertisements twenty-Ore .per cent, additional to to the above figures wil charged. A square is one inch in space down the column, count in; euU, dUplay lines, blanks. Ac, as solid matter. No advertisement to be considered less than square, and all fractions counted a full square. All advertisement inserted for a less period than three months to bo regarded as tran sient. BUSINESS CARDS. BEXJ. IIAYOEN, attorney and Counsellor at Law, "Will attend to all business entrusted to him by citizens of Polk and adjoining counties. Eola, July 26, 1867. v2n51tf DENTISTRY. DR. E. H. GRIFFIN WILL VISIT PRO fesswoallT the town of Ilarrinburch on the 16th of July, and remain for a few days. v2n50w3 D. a. UICE, X. D. O. P. 8. riXXSM. X. D. DRS. RICE d: F1X3U1E11. Physician and Surgeons, Ten ler their services to the citizens of Albany and vicinity. Office on Second street, opposite the Lower Ferry. vSnlitf s. p. arssEix. r. PALTOS. ATTCRXEYS AND COUNSELLORS AT LAW. Solicitor U Chancery and Real Estate Agents, Will practice in the Courts f the Second, Third, and Fourth Judicial Districts, and in the Supreme Court of Oregon. Cffiee in Parrisb's Brick Building, Albany, Ore gon. , , ZJT- SPECIAL ATTENTION given to the col lection of Claims at all points in the above named District. rtnWyl It. WIIITTEMORE, W. D., scwgeox, rn ysiciax axd a ccovcher Tenders bis services in the various branches of his profession to the eitiieus of Albany and ur roandia; country. Office, at Whittemore k Cos Drag Store, ParrUh's Block, Albany. v2n37tf ST. S. Hl'HPUBEY, ATTOFJEI AT LAW JLD XOTABI PCBLir, ALBANY OREGON. p- OCXee in the Court House. "S. mariv2nS01y CBASOB. CEO. B. C IT AX Oil fc IIELJI, ATTORXEYS & COUXSELLORS AT LAW Orri :i In Norcross' Brick Building, up-sUirs, Albany, Oregon, J. C. POWELL, . A TTO RXE Y AXD CO VXSELLOR AT LAW AXD SOLICITOR IX CIIAXCERY, ALBANY, Oregon. Collections and convey ances promptly attended to. c20nl01y J. BARIIOWS, L. BLAIX, R. X. TOURO. J. BARROWS & CO., GEXE3.AL & COXJIISSIOX MERCHAXTS TVEALERS in Staple, Dry and Fancy Goods, If Groceries, Hardware, Cutlery, Crockery, Coots and Shoes, Albany. Oregon. Consignments solicited. oc6n8tf EUGEXE SE3IPLE, ATT O RXE Y AXD SOLICITOR. PortliJid - - - - - Oregon. erOFEICE Over Kilbourn's Anetion Rooms. Deceisber 8, v2al7tf G. W. GRAY, D. D. S., SURGEON DENTIST, ALBANY, OGN. Performs all operations in the jT line or DENTISTRY in the most ( PERFECT and IMPROVED man- MXfcr ner. Persons desiring artificial teeth iotl do well to give him a ea.ll. Office 7mvwm KidncS corner of Second and Taker r-roet. ' au25-ly "WE5TE&K STAB." LODGE Ho. 1, moets at Masoaie HaU e,very Tuesday evening. .. t . E. McCLURE, W. C. T. ,F. M. Wadswobth, W. S. - T2n32tf T- : . : - I. O. O. V, AL3 ANT LODGE, NO. 4. rZT mgs or AiDany uougv, So 4 I O. O. F., are held at their Hall in Nor- T!" f m m ail T 1 cross' InUding, Aioanj. nerj njiiwoAi EVENING," at 7 o'clock. Brethren in good ipA to attend. By orlerof the N. G. au4-ly 8. HOST flOMBET. 1 H. E. HATWOOD. CITY HOTEL. MOHTfiOHERV ii HAYWOOD, 'Propr-i. Cor. WaaSiingrton and First St., - Harine been thoronghly refitted, is I " Iniw oien for the acoommodation ofJ the travjling public, The teble will speak tor itself.- Neat and comfortable beds and rooms for patrons, Lc. ' T- V ' RATES OF k BOARD s Per weei...u ....$5 CO Per wpp. r. with lodzinjr $6 00 to 8 00 $l!nrl n ............ . 50 " -. . , . - 50 S& Meals all hours. ; r - . ; T2n26tf. JOH I QIIIS. Featly and cheaply done at this 05 5?. '. . i. : ADVERTISEMENTS,. HATS, 1 HATS. 1YXEUSSDORFFER & BRO., Manufacturers and Importers of, and Wholesale and Retail Dealers iu HATS jSaOSnD CAPS, ABD KATTERS1 MATERIALS, No. 72 Front Ntreet, Portland, A RE RECEIVINO, IN ADDITION TO JV their extennive Stock, by every Steamer, all the LATEST STYLES of New York, London and Parisiau taste, for Gcntlcmen'a and Children's Wear Which they will sell CHEAPER THAN ANY OTHER HOUSE ON THE COAST! DEALERS IN HATS Willeonsult their own interests by examining oar Stock before purchasing clue when;. Hats of every stylo and Description MADE TO ORDER, At0 iV'e atly repair ejd, -AT- J. C. Meussdorffer & Bro.'s No. 72 Front Street .Portland, Ojr'n, Cor. I) and Second Sts-.. .-..Marystille, CaL No. 125 J Street ..Sacramento Nos. 635 i. 637 Commercial St San FrancUco. JT Wholesale IIouso at San Fnneico, Cal. No . 23 Commercial through to 637 Clay streets. Dec 1, 1S66 v2nlCtf THE OLD STOVE DEPOT! EIAIN STREET - - ALBANY. ri JOH3ST BRIGGS, (LATE C. C CoDlEr A CO.) Keeps constantly on hand a general assortment of STOVES! Of the Most Favorite Patterni. Cook Stoves, Parlor Stoves, Box Stoves ! With a full and general ajrtmcnt of TIN, SHEET-IItON-r COPPER AND B BASS-WARE ! And all other articles usually found in a TIN STORE! y Repairing .catlj and Promptly EiffdtJ. TERMS Cauli or Produce. "Short Reckoning make Lob? rrienda. Feb. 2, '87 v2n25tf FURNITURE AND CABINET WARE. O- lrRJJLTSr 3c CO. Corner ofTirst and Dread Alb in Streets, I (First Door East of J. Norcross Brick) Albany, Linn County, Oregon, Keep constantly on hand A FULL ASSORTMENT Of everything in their line of Business, At Lower Figiirct than any other Honse This side of Portland. WE CUALLENQE COMPETITION 'In the line of UPHOLSTERY, PARLOR SETS Chamber Sets, Picture Frames BUREAUS, SAFES, WARDROBES, ETC. ETC, yfe have also on hand tbo celebrated "J3CPN0I3Y WASHING MACHINE," Whiih has no equal in ihe world Gmt one ,aua satisty yourseir, Particular attention paid to all orders in oar line. UNDERTAKING PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO, . ' : aul8-ly ; .. . ; A. MARSHAL!,. I PETER, SCHL08BER. ALBANY ; 7 LIVERY STABLE! Opposite tho Old "Pacific Hotel" Stand. THE UNDERSIGNED WOULD , INFORM the public that they havo on hand a good supply of v ' 7 .-';.: y':n V- DOUBLE AND SINGLE BUGGIES, ' Together with the host of Livery and sJLdxib hobses. t ' ... All of whie'hswiU be let on; It E AS O N A DL TERMS; GXTS3 US A CflJA! . . MARSHALL & 6CHL0SSER. r Albany, Jan. H, 1867A-v2n231y . - ' ' ; For tho State Rights Democrat, j LECTURES BY REO.H, SPAULDING Early- Oregon ITllNMloiiN-Tholr Iin Iiortance in Nornring the Coun ty to AnicrciiiiiN. K I'M HE It TWKNTT-roUll. - Fort Hull ntnmlft on tho nouth n'ulc of Snake or Lewix river the Bouth branch of the Columbia, named for Capt. Lewis, who was the iirt white man who sat foot upon its waters, on tho 12th day of Aug., 1S05, having that day crossed tho divide from tho waters of the Jefferson' and camped upon the waters of what ha hinee been ascertained to be the head waters of Salmon river, and not Snake, as at tirst supposed. That night they found salmon, which are not found on the head waters of Snake, by reason of the impassable falls below Fort Hall. Hut the Snake river very prop erly retains, the name of Capt. Lewis, being- the principal branch; while Salmon river Iia received its appro priate title from the great quantities of salmon that find their way up through its hundred branche to feed the mountain tribes. The only other considerable tributaries of the 'Colum bia up which the salmon make their way into the region of the mountains, are the Kooskooskee, or Clear-water, and Spokan. Clark's Hiver and the main Columbia, with their counties tributaries, are deprived of salmon by the "Kettle Falls," six miles below Fort Colville. On the 4th of Sept., 1805, Capt. Clerk, with a small com pany from the main partv, camped on the head waters of Clark, or hitter root river. On this account the main river very properly reeeived his name till it reachys the main Columbia above Fort Colville, Jt will Ik recollected the whole party of Lewis & Clark, through untold sufferings from starva tion, and bare feet on the prickly pear, snows and cut rocks in the Ittter-rout mountains, reached the Clear-water river lx-low the forks on the 27th of SeptemWr, where they had hoped to tind means of subsistence, but to their horror they found the Nez Perce as they had the Sho-shonee and Flat Heads, in a most wretched and starv ing condition, subsisting on roots and berries ami very little game, ready to devour every offensive thing cast out of tin? camp. They would rush like so many starving dogs, tumbling over each other, upon the entrails of a horse or deer cast out by the hunters, de vouring them raw ; and when the hun ters, thiU"li themselves almost starv ing, would give them a deer, they would fall upon it like wolves and de vour it raw, the blood running down their faces. tLThe renler can not but contrast the happy and comfortable state of thin tribe of Indian fur the Jat 23 yearn, with their wretched condition when Lewis -and Clark patted through their country. It is natural to inquire what has contributed to bring about this wonderful change in this once wild and miserable tribe of f-avages? I answer, in no degree and iu no fccnte whatever is it due to any thing done by the American Government accord- ing to abundant promiHCs made to them and all other tribes from the day Lewis met them till the present day, only to be broken, till the whole Indian race has come to regard the American Government only as anoth er term for a set of robbers; but, in in the first place, to the good counsel and means for hunting afforded them by the Hudson I Jay Co. for their furs; and principally to the plows, and seed grain, and cows, and the IJible brought to them in 1830 by the missionaries, and to their personal instructions. ' The steady alliance and friendship of the Xez Purees to the Americans and the American Government during those years of bloody wars, when ail the surrounding tribes were at war with the Americans, and their steady adhereance to their civilized habits and Christian attainments received from their missionaries, are undoubt edly due to the Bible preached to them from the start in their own lan guage, and which they value above all . . rni. A . 'I 7.. l A trr- JlliCV. J.JIU . Government The Americans and American nent have never been able to provoke them to go to war in defense of their property and their own fami lies, although they have heaped upon them sore and shameful provocations joy stealing thousands oi their horses, i . . i . ... ' rrrrrttitinf? their women, "stealing their Sabbath," (as the chief wrote to President Johnson.) murdering with out cause their youn men, stripping their country of timber, overrunning their reservation with liquor sellers, towns and settlements, withholding some $000,000 due them already, in money and labor service, for lands long ago settled by the whites, .and finally, dy breaking up their schools and religious meetings and sending off their old missionary, pulling the Indians by the hair of the head and using language concerning the; Lord Jesus too shocking to go on the print ed pagej but which I will give if I am pushed too hard. No, the Nez Perces will never b'e pro vpked to go to war while they retain the Sabbath and. portions of the Holy Bible in their own language. ; And if the American people, or the American Government, or the Indian Depart ment, or the cnt-throats that run that machine, have decreed to rob that na tion of their country and exterminate the tribe along with the whole Indian race and this unquestionably is the design of the Government, and proba bly of a maiority of tho people west of the Mississippi the Government has taken the . best method to bring about this diabolical end by stopping the Bible from being given to; that i people and by expelling their pld pas tor o; au years. ; , . . , The Sho-Shone, or Snako Indiana, were a more promising tribe In the days of Lewis and Clark than the Nez Perces, and might to-day have been in the name high state of civili- zation ana christian attainments, had the satne cheap, simple means been used with them with an hundred part of the expense in money and life it will now cost the American people to exterminate them. The same, undoubtedly, should bo said' of all the Indian tribes who are at war with Americans. The two tribes Nez Perces and Shakes inhabit coun tries adjoining. Tho contrast is a fair and overwhelming one. Tho Ameri cans took tho Hnakc tribe tho better of the two perfectly honest, peaea ble and kind-hearted (See Lewis & Clark)-with powder ana tho lasso rope, but no Hible or Sabbath, and they now have the satisfaction of knowing that they have made that tribe what they are. The christian world have the satisfaction of knowing that the Bible and the Sabbath havo made the Nez Perces what they are. If I have learned anything in this world I have learned what the Bible can do for the Indian when honestly and affection ately given to him m his own lan guage. I do not want those mush room moralists, who never spent two days in an Indian school, who never saw an Indian reading the words of Christ in his own language, and who knows nothing of what .Christ meant when he said, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself," to undertake to tell me what can be and what cannot be done for the Indian. .My opinion is formed, not from pasting through the Indian country, but from an expe rience and close observation of thirty years most of the time making known to them the contents of the Bible. There is an editorial in the X. Y. Tribune of May 20th so entirely true in every word "ami letter, that "l will extract it. Mr. Greeley's strictures are the more valuable on this subject as he was a particular friend of Presi dent Liucoln ami is a friend to Prcs't Johnson, both of whom have jersot! ally sanctioned tho most unjust, shameful, cruel, fanatical outrage prac- a .1 I'll ' ticeu upon me nigniy civilized ana peaceable Nez Perces". The Tribune says : "We beg our Government at Wash ington to understand that the Ameri- can people do not choose to soil their ban ds with an Indian war. We beir them to reflect that tho time has eomo when the nation demands a summary reform in the ineffable wickedness which has In-en dignified by the name of our Indian ' policy. Everybody knows what that policy is: to swindle the savages, first in making our treat ies, and then in the execution of them; to molest them perpetually, even on the lands we have formally set apart for their use ; to plunder their lodges; to ravish their women ; to turn loose among them a lot of thieving agents ; to hunt them liko wild trame when they get impatient under our en croaehments, and then to proclaim an 'inuian war ana raise a itowi oi ex termination. We flay them alive and expect them to smile under it. We put upon them the crudest provoca tion 1 by burning them alive, by drag ging them to death with the lass-rope, by ravishing their young women and then strangling them and piling five dead bodies together, and then won der that they feci it. AVe exasperate them aud grumble it they get angry. The best of our fron tier officers, who havo passed the greater part of their lives among the savages, are nearly unanimous in their opinion that we have brought all our Indian troubles on ourselves. Wc are told that every In dian found in a certain belt of coun try, whether friend or foe, is to be shot, this is no way lor a Christian Government to avenge tho wrongs provoked by its own injustice." But to return to Fort Hall, which, according to Fremont, is in lat. 43l(r and long. 11220 and 4,500 feet above the sea ; width of Lewis river 870 feet ; distance from Fort Vancouver, 850, and 1,223 miles lrom Council BlulTs, it stands six miles above the mouth of PortneufT, in a plain 20 miles long and 4 wide, with the "Three Buttes" 45 miles to the north, famous land marks in the "Great Lara" plain : snow peaks to tho west aud south, and : . i a i t! " - . - tne cannon juvcr jviountains laraway to tho north, like white clouds hang- ing away in ino nonzon, caumgioour anxious minds tho terrible sulferings by ptarvationfof several of the strong men of the parties of Hunt, Stewart, Ashley and Bonneville, in tho "great and terrible wildnerness" that lay be tween us now and those distant moun tains. Whether our dear wives were to leave their bones also to bleach in the sands of the groat desert, was yet to be determined. Far away to tho northeast can be soon the "Three Teatons," 250 miles distant, with their snow white sum mits oyer shining in the suubeams, conspicuous land-marks for a great distance both east and west of, the Kocky Mountains. Oft and , again in days past has their sight cheered tiie lone mountain trapper, telling him where ho was and what'eourso to take to reach the main camp, or the long sought beaver ground, or to escape a hostile camp.; , For Hvo weeks tnese Teatons have been in sight from the high points of our route; and they will probably be seen for, four weeks more. , Rising from the midst of the Rocky Mountains, their . everlasting snows furnish at once the living waters of the Columbia and Colorado, rising in the same fountain, their , mountain rivulets interlock like the' finsrers of the hand and start off in opposite di rections the one sweeping around to tho north, the other to the south, holdr ing in their wide-spread embrace the Great American Basin, and entering the Pacific, their natural parent, 1,500 miles apart. They are remarkable for being the only two rivers that have burst their channels through the high chain of the Sierras and Cascades, to deliver up their ceaseless floods di rectly to tho parent ocean ; while all the other rivers arc compelled to 'de liver up their waters to tho insatiable demands of the burning sand plains and tho scorching siroccos of the Great Desert. Tho Fort depends upon buffalo for subsistence, but it now required four days lor the hunters to go and come, the buflalo having disappeared for the last few years. But the musouitoes remained, and judging from their fu rious attacks upon man and beast, they had not had a square taeal since tho buffalo left. Our horses and mules were compelled to. stop eating and rusn into a soua gang, groaning pue ously and rubbing handful of mus quitocs from their heads. Tents, blankets and smoke were no protec- tioji lor man, andj the next day we left. That fall Fort Hallthe last Amer ican post passed from the hands of A 1 . A - f - 1 1 . 1 tne jvmerieans into ino nanus oi ine English, thus leaving the entire Paci fic coast to the undisputed monopoly of the Hudson Bay Co. Every at tempt, for 32 years, of tho American tfovernment, and American corpora tions, and individuals including the great Astor, with his iron will to es- taoiisn an American settlement on this coast, had failed ; and the English now would have had but a short job to finish up the question of this coun try in the Ashburton Treaty, but for the footsteps of these our two women. They turned the scale at the last mo ment, when all seemed lost, against old England. By their personal haz ards and self-denials they settled the niestion that white women could cross the Kockv Mountains an un- lcrtaking pronounced impossible by even mountain man and trader. Oth- .. - i ii i er missionary motners soon loiiowea; and families, and flocks, and wagon trains and whole settlements wore not many years behind, and the great tiverland emigrant ltoad became a living fact, and a national acquisition of the greatest importance. Ttie Truth Naeclnctljr Expressed. It will be remembered that the watchword that carried the North through the late civil war, ana pro jK'lled its millions of volunteers to the Southern plains, was that "the Government must be preserved. How the Government ever was nn perilled by eleven States withdrawing from it, ami forming a new govern ment, was never very clear to our comprehension. It seemed to bo war rather for tho preservation of ter ritory than any form of government But it was not so regarded, as we have said, by the mass of our people. They went to war, spent $4,000,000,000 or $3,000,000,000, and 1,500,000 lives "to preserve the Government, They were successful in the military strug gle, and overwhelmed the enemy, af ter this enormous coat and sacrifice. Now, of course we should have the "Government preserved" in all its in tegrity. Such was the promise. How has it been fulfilled ? Listen, and hear one of the greatest champions o the war. Mr. Raymond, of tho New York Times, in a late number of that journal tells us : "It is quite useless to ignore the i; lain and palpable fact that the rebel- lon and the war have revolutionizct our government. "We arc not living under the Constitution of 1786, bu under an unwritten Constitution winch represents the national will as embodied in the action of Congress The limitations of the old Constitu tion nave ocascu to nave oinuing lorce, The President is powerless, because two-thirds of Con gress arc against him. The Supreme Court is powerless, because the case cannot come up for its action, or the Court has no means of enforcing its decrees. The people are without rem edy, because ten Mates arc not allow ed any voice, and the remainder sns tain the usurped authority, wo are living under a de facto government a government resting on force and the will of tho pcoplo who sustain it. The war wrough a revolution in public sentiment, which in its turn wrought a revolution in practical administration of the gov eminent. Congress represents that revolution and acts under its inspira tion. England has just such a const! tntion as that. Tho ontion of Parlia ment and the will of the people is the unwritten Constitution by which Ung land is governed. This is the actua state of our affairs. It is, perhaps wiser to adjust our public action to i than to waste strength and time in contending against it." These aro weighty words, full sorrowful but condensed truth, tha no intelligent man will dispute. They will bear reading over sevoral times and they ought to elicit much reflec tion. This, then, has been the result ot the warnot to save, out to- ae stroy tho government;, for which mil lions laid down their lives, in the de iusivo hope and expectation that they were maKing our msumuuus perma nent. A finer; acknowledgment than the above to tho wisdom of those who opposed the war and disputed the whole philosophy upon which it was based, we have never seen, and, com ing as it does, from an original advo cate and supporter oi tne war, iu pos sesses tenfold force. Cincinnati Mi quirer. : v-...::-:: : . m Rajlery is the lightning of cal umny A Pen Picture T Congress A correspondent of the Nsw. York Metropolitan Record, in the course of a cttcr, gives the following picture of our virtuous Itump Congress : My head drops upon my hand and I glide away in a reverie which, catching its tinge from surrounding objects, is dark dark as ebony, when the sudden slamming ol a door wafts a more than usually frag rant puff of air to my nostrils, and revives me jnst as harsh, hoarse growl begins to rise from the floor below, and the won dering youngster at my side inquires, w no is mat, mr. uenr imu cioven- loofed creature. Johnnie, that venerable flake of boilcd-ovcr scum from the kettle of perdition, is the Honorable Tbaddens Stevens, of Ironworks, Pennsylvania Note his hard, forbidding features, the umirk of villainous complacency, that mingles perpetually with a scrowl in the wrinkles about his malignant old snapping ionic iuouih. ioie nis aaric rea wig, ni covering for the lurid fires that game be neath it, and his hobbhfig distorted car caa, emblematic of the hideous old soul that burns within it. Mark him well. my boy, and remember tlat, if through a fe of nearly eighty years, you nvcr cher ish one generous, pure, forgiving thought; if for four score years your bosom clows with the busing flames of the infernal pit . . until your whole nature becomes one dark, charred mass of fury, hate, revenge and ut: if for eighty long years you scorn to feel one human impulse, one tender emotion, and give yourself up as a dwell ing place for scorpions and asps, the sev enty times seven such devils as drove the crocious maniac of old to grovel among tne tombs of of the Gadarcncs; if whikt your withered, rage-scorched old form is tottering on the brink of the crave, you are ever ready to howl for vengencc, de struction and slaughter ever ready liko t ioul jackal to gnash your slimy fangs over the bones of the dead, and, in addi tion, can boast a morasses candy-colored family, you may, possibly, become i the Se$lor of the iou$e And who is that just behind him, Mr Bell ? ' That bloa ted maaa of stench emitting carrion, with the face so cruel, so obscure, so devilish. that you involuntarily look for the horns, the claws, the scales and forked tail, is the far-famed hero of Big Bethel, Fort Fisher and .New Orleans, boy; the foaming se cessionist of the Charleston Convention the fifty-two tiroes voter for Jeff. Davis the lying braggart, thief, the murderer the debauchee, the foulett fiend, save John Mcetl, the butcher of Palmyra mai roams outsiac oi tne pit oi tne aamn ed ; the Radical saint of Lowell, where he is convenient as LL. I)., Professor o Virtue and Moral Science to thousands ci the poor New England factory girls. Look at him: laugh, ye cods! Can hells chief cook, as he sticks a fres-h fat sinner on his toasting fork, grind out a more frightful chuckle, a more leering, horri ble grin ? That, my boy, is Spoon, Cork Bottle, Beast Butler 1 Learn to lie, to steal, to murder, to commit every crime too snocKing io oe contemplated, too ioul to be named, run the whole gamut of the record books of damnation, and, boy, you may some day represent his pious Massa chusctts distriet in Congress, as ht wil then represent this Congress in his native hell" Oh I 31 r. Bell, dont talk so loud but who is that with the carTOt-colored side whiskers, up yonder near the Speak er's desk ? ' That, Johnnie, is Bingham the Ohio icoman murderer. Wherever he walks in the light of God's sun or moon, the shadow of a gallows and an in noccnt widow victim is said to fall. Near ly opposite to him, over there on the left of the Speaker, sits, 'Stonewall Jackson's Commissary the cotton-stealing, faga cious hero ot lied River, codfish Banks o: 3Iassachusetts. That bushy-headed bi I ed in the back row of seats is Buckeye mpcacher Ashley. Ho only lacks a tai to convert mm into an Airican ourang outang, and I am happy to hear from his family physician that this important arti cle of supplementary anatomy is already sprouting; so that it Professor Agassiz' theory is correct, he may yet hope to number among his descendants some un adulterated specimens of the ' man and brother that can t change his cuticulo nor tne leopard nis spots.' inat msig nificant thing with the glossy black hair and beard and heart, away across near btevens ancTUutler, is little Pettifog Wil liams. No one seems to know what State it hails from, nor anything about it except that it sits next to Thad. and made its firstspeechifying effort against restoring to the pensning women and children of the South a small fraction of what iU near neighbors stole from them. That would be military looking personage with the oily locks and heavy moustache, who sits thcro near the centre of the hall, is known in his own btato as Dirty-Work Logan. Six years ago he was a 'rabid Secessionist swore that if the rights of any State were trampled upon, ' his sword would be the first to leap from its scabbard, and he the first to rush to tho rescue 1 ' He recruit ed men for the Confederate army, and paid the expenses of some of them out o his own pocket. The Southern Confed eraoy didn't give hina a Major-Generalship the Yankee Lmpire did; and now ho' one of the loudest shriekers for the exter mination of the whole population of thoso States to whose 1 rescue he was then go ing to ' rush so terrifically 1 But we have no time, just now, to notice any more o these ' rara aves.V This, Johnnie, is the Lower House,' and represents the grea masses, the common herd. ; , There is yet another body, far more august, to which each State can send bu two members. They may bo considered the very top-skimmings of our . public creme de la crema. the choicest of our na tional jewels. They meet in the other wing. Keep your hand on your pocket- book, and come with me there. Wo en ter the Senate Chamber; and behold ! the same glaring contrasts, the same mcon gruous mixture of splendor and squalor luxury and wretchedness, glitter and tilth foieiga minister and a sleek-jawed, do- mure-looking, white-cravated individual' : with, a holy soil to his eyes. . Old and young, lies and ahes, white, black and brownyellow and iwWeaeript, all tang led, jumbled ia kaleidoscopic variety and coofofMon. And oh I tfee Bmflg. Tho. endless mixing and unmixing of tmcon- genial stinks, 'Jockey Club' aM'Night i Ulooming Lcrcua ' drif t bewildered into, A og ot lermented African ranwidtfY,, RrJgham Young antl Ills Fwtuneas The Salt Lake Vedette hta the annex ed notice of the hftrh priest of Mormon-. j i.t " r i . uuiu, Buu me manner in wmcn ne pais money in nis purse: . Leaving all jokes aside, and viewing the matter in a worldly light, with theV aid of sober serious reason, we nnhcsiU- uugij pronounce urignam ioung;s con nection with the Mormon Church a finan eial suecess. Viewed in the same light, as the speculations of Stewart and Van-, derbuilt and Astor, and all other great fiV- ' tr. ..I At . nauciers, x oung, wun ine means at ni eommand, has shown no mean financial ability. Lg thaa forty years ago; accor ding to his own autobiomtaphy, he was engaged in the humble and honoraVi- calling of a glazier and house painter. Some who claim an early and intimate ac quaintance with him, declare that he ex ecuted very indifferent jobs, in the line, of' i.to t., ... ,', . i j: have lots to do, and didn't have plenty o money at all times When he joined te t 3Iormoa Churah luck changed with hifc and by devoting close attention to movjty matters, he is in his ripe old age, far re moved from the guant and frightful spec ter, "want." It has been said that far ing the past few years he maintained tha. , standing of third highest depositor in th Isank of Lngiand ; and that funds of large amounts are on deposit in Washington City, New York and St Louis to his CTed it. However, all this may be mere re- ! port. We don't know nor care whether it is true or not. But as a matter of opin ion, we "srewdly suspect there is some thing of it' There is always some fire where there is a great deal of smoke. if he has not one cent abroad, out of Utah he has plenty of all that goes to make up wealth here, lie has mills of different kinds, to saw lumber, make flour, manu facture cotton and woolen goods, he has stores and dwellings ia great numbers, that must yield a vast revenue in renta alone. He has farms and ranches all orer the Territory that are of immense value; he owns the theatre, which seems to pay him very well as he keeps it occupied and going for one purpose and another all; the time; he is said to own a distillery and liquor store that somebody ia running r. l! 1 1 j P ? -r . ior biiu, or peroaps teamed irom 44m. is also pretty certain that he ia, or waa quite recently, heavily interested in othe?- money making enterprises; and had a, great amount of Union Pacific Railroad stock and Union Telegraph stock in hia rn name and right. He also has fino turn outs' and several of them. Take him for what is "in sigfet" here in Zion4 -in worldly goods, he can discount a regi ment 01 the wealthiest divines in Ameri ca. If it is true that he has sent away several stockings full of yellow boys, why1 he is able to rank with the few wealthy ones in the East, When it is considered that he h,ad; nothing to commence on s,nd is now as. rich as CroDsng, it ia no more, than jis-. tice to concede that he possesses extraor dinary financial abilities, and knows ij&v to make ono dollar make two. If he suc ceeds as well in the next two years as a has done in the past and we don't knew but he will -Astor and Stewart must look to their laurels. He didn't do well in the painting and glazier business, hut ho has mado all the money he needs in "re ligion." v ' Artemns Ward's Toast Artomus Ward being present at a cele bration and exhibition, was called upon " for a speech, when he replied in a "toast , tu the phair sex : - ; Ladies, scz I turnin to the butifuj phev mails hoose presents was pcrphumin, the, : r fare grownd, I hope you ara enjoyin yur- ? selves on this occassion and tfcat leminaid and water of which yQu are drnkin, may-" ' not go agin you. ; Blay you allers be fare, -as the son, bright as the moon, and buti- f ul as an armmy with Unyun flags also, . , . , plenty of good close to ware. . Tu yure bcx commonly called the. ; phair sex, we are indeted for. bornin, as. ! well as many other blessins in these low growns of sorro. Som poor sperited fools, : ; blaim yure sex for the difficulty in the gar-. ; din, hut I hev no dowt but Adam., would , hev rigged a cyder press, and like as not " went into a big bust and bin dri yen orf un-i : t aware. Yuro 1st muther wua a lady, and t ( all her dawters is ditto, and nun but a, . loafin kuss will say a word again yu- Ho- pin that no waive of truble will roll akrosaf I n yure peaceful breasts, I koonkludo thesev ": remarks with the follerin centjment: - ; Woman-r-she are a good egg. . f 5 , ;. The Biblb Some : writer gives tha ' ' following analysis of the book of -hooks, J r the Bible: - j!; l--l t It is a book of laws, it shows the right r and wrong. It is a book of wisdomand makes the foolish wise. It i3 a book of ? i:t truth, which detects all human error. It , lfr, is the book of life, and shows how to avoid everlasting death. It is the most authea- tic and entertiining history ever publish-5 " ed. It contains the most remote antiqui' ; ticsthe most remarkable events and won-- t.'v,;, derful occurrences. It is a code of laws.; r , It is a perfect body of divinity. ; It is an ' unequaled narrative; -It is a book' of hi--;5 ography. ; It is a book , of : travelsl r-Ifis-i o'7. a book of voyages. It is a book of ttho . 1 i best covenant:! ever mader-the best dee -,Mt ever written i It is the best will ever ex- ecuted, the best Testament ever signed'' " It is the youri,; inan's best companion. 'It ia' " is the schoolboy's instructor. jIt 13 ther::;t ti learned man's masterpiece It ia the i:; cn norant man's dictionary, eyeryr:rri'.(5i directory."