NO. 41.
VOL.II.
ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, MAY 25, 18CT.
"
STATU RIGHTS DEMOCRAT.
Tt BUSHED TBT SaTVMar. T
fABB0TT & BROWN.
J M. H. AJUOTt.
Cilice Over. H. QllTer'i Store, First Street
TER3IS.1 ADTAifCJi : Oayear,$3 Six Montas
2; Oa Mouth, 50 ets.; bugle Copies, J
Comspia.t writing ovr assumed signatures
eranyisly, must make known their proper
jiaaea to the Editor, r no attention wUl be gtv
te taeir eoiuianictiB ' ' . : ' , :
. . am Ttt.n nd CotaiBunication, whether on
kuiaodi r for publication, shoull aiMrwsed to
AbVett A Urown. - ... " -
- BATES OF ADVERTISING, r ta J One
XTolamn, 1160 ; Half Col wan, $30 j Qaarter Col
ami. $35. :
Transient Advertisements per Square often lines
r ltu, first insertion, $3 ; each tubiequent inser
tion, $1. , . . '
.For douVe eelumnadrertisemenU twenty-five
$er cent. soMitional to Cbe above rjtel wiI b
charged. .. .
. A tqoare is one inch in space down the column,
counting eats, display lines, blank, Jkc, as solid
matter. X advertisement to be considered less
thaa a square, and all fractions counted a full
square. All advertisements insert?; for a les
period thaa three months to be regarded as tran
sient. ,..-,;..,
BUSINESS CARDS.
sVtoiiittemoixe, m. p.,
SURGEOX'PH TSICIAX AND A CCQ UCIIER
- Tenders his services in the f arious branches of
hU profession to the citizens of Albany and sur
rounding eoen try.- Office, at Whittemore A Co.'s
ppg Storey arVUh's IJlock, Albany; T2n37tf
ATT0S5ET AT LAW AM) a'OTART POIIC,
AXSANY -- - - - - -- OREGON.
3T OClee in the Court House. tE.
mar9v2n30Iy
). . CRAXO - CEQ. . BEL.
CilAXOR fc nELM,
ATTORXEYS & COUNSELLORS A T LA W
OrrK9 In Norcross Brick Building, up-sUirs,
Albany, Oregon, ; - an
J. C. POIVELI
A TTORXE Y AXD CO UXSELL OR AT LA W
' AXD SOLICITOR IX CIIAXCER Y,
ALBANY, Oregon." Collections and convey
ances promptty attended to. ec20nl01y
O. D. mt'E, M. D
&URQEOX, PHYSlCIAX AXD ACCOUCUER
. Tenders bis semees in uw iuwu ikwhww
his profession to the citizens of Albany and sur.
rouaaicg cocnLry. vacs op-rtairs, in rosier s
Brick, '. i ; . I ' ' el3 o91y.
HOUSE, SI7X, CARRIAGE, AXD ORXA
HEXTAL PAfXTERS' GRAIXERS AXD
GLAZIER.i. r 2 - " ' ' '
Also, Paperliangin' and Calceminipg done with
eeataess and tlL-patch. Shop at the upper end of
i irst street, in Cunningham s old stand, Albapy,
Uregen. e'.austi
. jXBEpW, X. B LAIS, 8. K. TOCJP
,jr? IJ ARROWS t cov
QRSBRAL COMMISSION MERCHANTS
SEALERS is Staple, Dry asd Fancy Goods,
Groceries, Hardware, ' Cutlery f oakery,
ts and Shoes, Albany. Oregon, I ;
Consignments solicited. oc6n8tf
A, . tAWRESCJt. , ECGZ.SE SEVFLr.
J-AIYEEXCE & SEJirLE,
ATTORNEYS AND SOLICITORS,
PcrtlinJ - - - - 0reg$n.
OEZIC3 Orer Kilbourn's Auction Rooms.
December 8, r2nl7tf
v-" C tt; gray, d. d. s..
aUBQEdX DENTIST? JLB ANT QGN.
'Perfonns all operations in the
rsv. l;ne of DENTISTRY in the most
' I'ERFECT and IMPROVED man-
ner. Persons desirin? artificial teeth
would do well to gjye him a call. Office up-etain
tn Jroster s bncu, iiasidenc f orpef cf econd sod
liatertireets. . . u25-y
v;r., ..... I. O. G. T.
"WESTERN STAR" LODGE Jfo. 10, meets
at Masonic Hall every Tuesday eTening.
s - : : R. FOX, W. C. T.
Wis. Dkicss, r7. & . ; r2n32tf
r. o. o. f.
42; nt- lod ge; NO. 4.
. h;.;...v Jjjzs or Albany Lod ire.
ITo, 4, L O. 0. r are held at their Hall in Nor
eross' Building, Albany, . every WEDNESDAY
EVENING at .7 o-'clook, -Srhroo in good
wuuuig kid tut iieu vo aiif.
By order of tt e N . gA ,.. . ,. ' aai-ly
JHSIIEIITAL AHD YOCAL MUSIC
liilSS PlILTjIEIjIyl ABBOTT
S NOTV PREPARED XO GIVE LESSONS
ja vii w iiauuiirie, jr. ner residence, in Al
bany.? f Ehc refei s to those whom she has taught,
fcota here and in Corrallis.
TUITION;
er onarter. 24 lessons.'.;...'....' $haa
fTse of Piano fori rac.ticing, per quarter,.......2 50
jj. F. SlcCO Y,
r 'f f; - 9 t - -i
A TTORNEYA XV CO UN SELL OR A T LA W,
PORTLAND,
PREG0N
WILL PRACTICE IN THE SEVERAL
Courts of t his City and State, and of Wash
ington Territory. All kinds of elaims and demands,
notes, bills, bool: accounts, subscriptions, eto.,
collected on eonrn ksion, by suit or solicitation.
Real Estate bought and sold. Taxes paid.
Buildings rented, and rents collected on commis
sion. -
Tittle to Real . Estate searched, and abstracts
daae.' " , .'.--
- ALSO
AGENT for the principal daily and weekly news
papers on the Pacifo coast. Subscriptions and ad
Tertisements solicited.
S5A1I olIecti ons 'ptompUy' remitted.O V
OFFICS No. i 5 Front treeV Portland.
- T2s2rtf
ADVEIlTISEill-JTS,
E3ATS.
n, HATS.
MEUSSDORPFER & BIIO,,
Manufacturers and Importers of, and Wholesale
and Retail Dealers in
:, ASD
HATTERS' MATERIALS,
No. 72 Front Street, Portland
i RE RECEIVING, IN ADDITION TO
J their extensive Stock, by every Steamer, all
the LATEST STYLES of New York, London and
ParUiau taste, for "
Gentlemen's and Children's Wear,
Which they will sell
CHEAPER THAN ANY OTHER HOUSE ON THE COAST!
DEALERS IN HATS
t -
Will consult their own interests by examining our
Stock before purchasing elsewhere, '
Eats of every style and Description
MADE TO ORDER,
ALSO
IVE-Ty RCPAIUEP,
J. O. .MoussdorfTer & Bro.'s
!fo. 72 Front Street Portland, Og'n,
Cor. D and Second Sts ....J.......... Mary tville, Cal.
No. 12& J Street...... ..Sacramento
Nos. 635 AC37 Commercial St..... .San Franc inco.
r Wholesale House at San Francisco, Cal.
No . 62S Commercial tbrcngh to 637 Clay streets.
Dec 1, 1S68 v2al6tf
OUD STOVE DEPOT!
nAIXJ STX12ZT - - ALDATeY.
(late c. c. coble r a co.)
Keeps constantly on hand a genera) assortment of
S TOVE S !
Of the Most Favorite Pattern.
Cook Stoves,
Parlor Stoves,
Box Stoves !
With a fU and general assortment of
TIN, SHEET-IRON,
COPPEa AND BRASS-WARE!
And all other articles usually found in a
JIN STORE!
Bepairicg BTftlj and Promptly Exeentffl
TER3IS Caali qr Produce.
'Sliort Reckonins malce IVonsr Frienda.'
Feb. 2, '7-r2n25tf
FURNITURE AND CABINET -WARE.
9 . t
Corner cfFirzt and Broad Alb in Streeta
(First Door East of J. Norcroes' Brick)
Albany, IJnn County, Oregon,
. V s Keep constantly on hand
A 1 1 F u u t A ? P rtM e iv T
Of everything Jn their lina f Business,
At Lower figures ihm ulj etber Ece
: This side of PorUand. ;
WE CIIALLINGly COMPETITION
V I tbe line of
y PH p L T E fj Y, PARLO R8 ETS
I Chamber pefo Picture Framef
BrjEAPSSAf' tyAJlVRQUES, ETC. EC,,
We have also on hand the celebrated '
- ' 1. - - "...'"' i
"ECONOL1Y WASniWO XTIACniNE,"
Which has no equal in the world. Get one ana
satisfy yourself.
Particular attention paid to ail orders in our line.
- - - - J -. J i : -
: UNDERTAKING PROMPTiYV ATTENDED TO.
' ' ' aul8-ly
A. KAB8HALL.
' PTEb" SCHLOS8EB.
"Albany;;;;';:'
LIVERIY - STABLE!
Oppose thsld'Pacic Ilof cl" Etanp-
THE UNDERSIGNED WOULD INFORM
the public that they hare on hand' a. good
luPPy ot
DOUBLE Ap; SINGLE BUGGIES,
Together with the best of Xivery and
AU of which w'dl ba let 00 ' ';
REASONABLE TERJJjS
j civn :v3 A : call i
r i -A 'MARSHALL'" A SCnLOSSER. '
Albany, Jaa. 14 188T v2n2'31y ; . 4
TOETllY.
TZIS X7ATCHTALL.
JIUs Nancy Is a lovely lass,
So graceful and so tall
To see those pouting lips of A urn,
And her sweet waterfall.
Would make you swear, by heaven and earth,
You'd give your life, your all,
To kiss those pouting ljr omt,
And see her waterfall. k
I saw btr 'twas on Christmas Ere,
At Independence Hall,
And as the whirled round In the waits,
I saw her waterfall. ' '
If s pretty orb stuck out a ft,
All beaded o'er the ball
You ne'er saw nothing half fo sweet
As her sweet waterfall.
Next X led her en the floor,
We bowed at "honors all,"
And as we straightened up again,,
I saw her waterfall
Drop on the floor : I picked it up
Netting, hair and all ; .
And hastily she left the room
. Without her waterfall.
Wishing to see from what 'twas made,
I opened out the ball '
And found, that moss, Kress, hair and yarn,
Composed her waterfall.
This waterfall Is now my own;
I'll send it to yon, Paul.
If you're in want of something nice,
In shape of waterfall.
Cincinnati L'nquirtr.
A RXftEtjCENCS.
Once, when I was a little boy,
I sat we down to cry,
Beeause'my little brother bad
The Liggett piece of pie.
tTwat not but I bad quite enough.
Rut then I could nt S5
The reason why a partial' nurse
Should gire him more than me.
Thy said I was a naughty boy,
Rut I have oft seen men
Behave themselves as foolishly
As I Hchated then.
For we are often thankless fur
Rich Ucssinps when we is;h
To think some luckkr re'ghbor has
A '"Cigger picf(e" of pie.
Drink leas with your Men!.
One great error that we commit in that
we drink too much at our meal. IJcfore
we hare sufficiently nufcticated and insal
ivated our food to enable us to t wallow it,
vre forco it down hj taking water or warm
drink. Thia not 6ny dilute. the ealira,
but weakens the gastric juicu after the
food gets iuto the totnach. Many person.
take a swallow of fluid with almost every
mouthful of food. Look along the dinner
table in any of our hotels and fashionable
private dining room and you will be sur
prised at the quantttie3 which are drank
at the meal; and if your mind be not taken
up with observing the others, you may
discover the fame evil in yourself, and thu
be led to correct it. This habit, sooner
or later, end to producing dyspepsia and
constipation, than which there arc no af
fections more destructive of health aud
comfort. When we are thirsty at our
meaU or at other time., we should drink
to allay such thirst only. All solid food
should be thoroughly ground and mtxec
saliva in the mouth unaided and undiluted
by water or other dripks. Kely upop it,
this apparent necessity of driaking is a
mere habit, which we can correct at will;
and all who prize health at it true value
wil Dot consider its preservation or pur
chase too high at the cott'ej attending to
so simpia a patter.
Henry "Ward Ueeciikr on Fast
Horses. Mr. liecchcr descants thus:
"If a horse has had swiftness put into him
it is nothing more than fair to give him
a chance todcvclope his gift. Of course
there is reason in all things. Even iu
tiotting, it is caster and pleasanter for
some horses to go twelve miles an hour
than lor others to go three. They were
made so. Docs it hurt a swallow to go
taster than the ox f Why not: iJccausc
he wa made so. It is easy to do the thing
we were made to do easily. And a good
horse was made to go fast. He does ;t
when wild, of his own accord. He docs
not lose the relish of speed even when do
mesticated. Take a fiaofed horse, which
in harness looks as if lie w,ere a pattern Qf
moderation- very deacon 01 moder
ation, &?d turn him looso a pasture.
Whew, what a change! He takes one or
two steps slowly, just to be sure you have
let go of him, and then with a si jueal be
lets fly his heels in the air. till the sun
flashes from his polished shoes; then off
ne goes, fiercer, clear across the lot, till
the fence brings him tip, and then, his
eye flashing, h'i mano lifted and swelling,
j, .:! i:?,,. !.: 1 ?
tin tan nfcv a xiu b ecepier, ne noons
defiance to you from , afar; and with a se
ries of rearing, running sideways and
plunging, whisking and whirls, he starts
again, with immense enjoyment, into an
other round of running. Do you not see
that it js raore than fun ? It is jecstacy. lt
is horse rapture!" ' " '
An attorney who wished to , show -his'
smartness by quizzing an old farmer at an
election dinnej, began by asking him if
there were jnany gij-ls in his neighbor
hood. "Yes, there's a dreadful sight of
'em," replied the old man, "so many that
there ain't half enough respectable hus
bands for 'em all,' and some of 'em are be
ginning to take up with the lawyers I"
The attorney didnt follow up the subject.
; A Frenchman who had been in India.
speaking of tigers-hunts pleasantly remark
ed, "When ze Frenchman hunts ye tigare,
ah! ze sport is grand; magnifique! . but
wen ze tigare hunts zq Frenchman, oui!
zere u ze very aevu to payrv : i r :
Old.Elwes, the miser, haying listened
to a very eloquent discourse on charity
remarked, "That sermon so strongly
proves the necessity of alms-giving, that
I've almost a mind to leg" .
. : ' ' ' ' 11 .. ... :
A witty, doctor said ticht lacin? was a
public benefit, inasmuch as it killed all
th? foolish girls, and left the wise ones to
grow to be women.
A lazy fellow, lying down' on the crass.
said: ' "Oh. how I do wish ' this was called
work, add was well paid for'
Lebanon Correiioiilenc.
LtnANov, May 4, 1807.
EdiLxr Slate Kighti pmucrut : 1 !
To every one conversant with the history
of the American Government, it i, doubt
less, apparent that all the grt national
commotions that have agitated the people
have grown out of sectional strife. Themass
of tho pooplo, unfortuniitely, In both sections
of our country, have 'allowed thcmsclyci to
fall a prey tq tho artful machination of un
scrupulous demagogues and soulless fanat
ics, qndcr tho sacred name of patriotism
and Christianity, 'From tho foCnd'atlon of
the Government thero has been a gitinal
sectional trugglo; and at different times it
becamo so vtolpnt that serious fears Verc en
tertained for the nalety and permanancy of
the Unit)n, Aut there were always found
sufficient virtue and wisdom iu a few of tho
leading statesmen to reconcile1 tho turbulent
antagonisms and restore peace and harmony
to tha country, until tho inauguration of thp
HepuUican-Union party, when a breach
was opened that continually widened and
deepened until it culminated in civil war,
h most revolting and destructive that was
erer inflicted upon anv people sineo the
world wa. The loss of life, thd dstruction
of property, the nemlUh commissioos of
crime, that marked its course ; the dissolute
moral, the depp seated hatred it ha engen
dcred ; the wide-cprcad atno pf ruin and
desolatjon of imsery, lamuifl and starva
tion tho ripening fruit of this bloody con
flict present a field that do not only ap
peal to the christian to apply the universal
panacea Imparted to him by the Savior of
mankind, but must nflVt with touching
emotion all who have sufficient humanity to
sympathize with the extremes of mortal suf
fVriri;. Some of the evil of tin terrible
conflict are transitory, and will pa away
with this generation; others are permanent
and enduring, and will be entailed on pos-
tcritv indefinitelr.
W'hen that old f?inaticf negro thief and
murderer, John Brown, was cntneed U
ueam iv xne suinnnun ui irsnnta. on me
day of hi rievutii the addition church
sent up a wnil f h4Tntft!in tl at revfalel
the t'n of their sympathies. Instead of
regarding him a a victim of justice, depre
cating hi act a an unholy violation of the
taws of liod and man, lie wa transformed
into an 4holy martyr of freedom," and i
now transfigured a an Anjrel of Light and
glorified in the melodies of Divine worship ;
"John Brown soul goe marching on."
When, at Iat, the protracted sectional
strife wa arraying the people in the attitude
for deadly conflict, tho ministering servant
of th abolition church interposed no words
or deed of reconciliation to soothe and quiet
tho raging Vrm of hnmtn passion that
threatened to spread death &n devastation
over the land j but, on the contrary, they
ventilated the most fierce and ferocious in
vective ajpiinst the "slaveholding 8uth."
Th"Y would hurranuA tnultitudce of tho ox-
citel fiopulaeo, and tell them, In tho name
of hdy VsUgirfVl nrd i ltic- tn tl
command of the Prince of JIVacf, It would
bo doing CkmVb service ti hurl tl firebrand
of death and detruction into tht relel do
minions to utterly exterminate them, root
and branch ; and by so doing, enroll them
selve with earthly grandeur to "glisten in
glory." A sanguinary collision ensue! be
tween the hostile aections, pnsiite.If os
lensibly upon the part of the N rth to pre
serve the Lnton and perpetuate a republican
f rui cf government, hut really to overthrow
the domestic institution of the South and
ul free their slave. In thi bJMy conflict
the ..'loyal" North completely vanquished
the "rebel'' South, and freed theirnegrocs
accomplished much greater results than was
openjy a&ticipated at tho outset ; yet, not
withstanding these great and glorious
achievement, tho fruit of victorv were in
complete and unsatisfactory. The negro
wa free, but that "covenant with the devil"
debarred jlm of tho full immunities of citizen
ehip therefore, in the estimation of loyal
victs the necessity was absolute to continue
tho crusade until every freedman is placed
upon a perfect equality as an American citi-
ten belure toe law. 1 ho abolition church,
with double-distilled piety, joins the chorus
of negro suffrage, and send a note of its
thrilling melody through all her branches
and borders. It is seen by the late dispatch
csjjthat tho Methodist Conference in 'Haiti
more adopted, as a part of Uicir ofcod, the
endorsement ' of tho action of Congress in
relation to negro suffrage. The Bishop sol
emnly bcscccbed tho young ministers to pay
strict attention to the literature of tho day.
lie said tho doctrine preached a hundred
vcars ago was not appropriate at the present.
The true meaning is, doubtless, not preach
the Gospel of Peace "the same yesterday,
to-day and forever:" but to make their
preaching conform to tho shifting sands of
.-.-.. ' - J ll I -1
political caprice, ami inereoy cucci nnu
maintain a coalition between church, and
State ; then these reverend bloodsuckers
could plausibly claim a largo share of the
patronago of the Government and the spoils
of office.
Itjs now seen that for more than a score
of years there has been a deliberate system
of ethic, under the auspices of religion, to
extinguish , the prejudice that ministers of
the Gospel should havo a high, r and holier
aspiration than 'political. honors and emolu
ments. Wdien the ."great rebcll ion" sprung
upon ihjj country theso VchristUn' patriots"
came up to tho aid of Government with a
zeal truly sublime : and from their serious
' alt a 1 1 w - '
ana emooiuenea aemanas, tney muse oe im
pressed with a self-satisfying consciousness
that the people should bestow upon them the
first place of, honor and profit; in the official
stations of the Government, and to confirm
this it is onlv necessary to notice the tone of
tne religious press ot tne aoouuon scnooi.--r
They gently hint that the gross wickedness
and moral depravity of tho Government offi
cials suggest the necessity of supplying their
places with purer and better men. This is
certainly ' true. '. But whether supplanting
them with those who put on the externals of
holiness, but whose words stir up strife and
develop the baser passions of the human
heart, is quite questionable. We observe a
persistent effort to puritanizo the whole peo
ple and to insure their subjection to its
sway. - Its principles aro thrust .into every
phase of society, social, moral political and
religious, and especially is its influence ex
erted in our public schools.
A; Lebanon correspondent in a former
number of your paper gave an account of an
exhibition of tho Santiam Academy, and
therein alluded to its partizan exercises.
The Pacific Christian Advocate man copied
copiously and with great gusto "Civis' " ac
count of the exhibition, until he espied that
"big boy," which seemed tp excite a negro
phobical convulsion In this sensitive but loy
al Vknight of the quill" who presides over
the Pacific Christian. Advocate. From, the
fits and starts, jerks and ejaculations, his
loyal reverence must have been .."intensely:
excited."' Yea, verilyl in immineht peril. ;
We have no intelligence, of his returning
reason. May God have mercy on his poor"
soul : rejmiescat in pace. '
Han not the cause leading to tho woful
condition of our once happy country received
its most vital impulse from the pulpits where
loyalty to the Government i an absolute re
quirement of tho Christian faith a passport
to Heaven ? I am a firm believer in tho pu
rifying influence of the christian religion
over men and nations as revealed by our
Great Redeemer, but when its ministers and
professors desecrate its holy cause upon the
alter of political Idolatry it i r. sin and re
proach to any nation an odious mockery
and a fearful engine of oppression nnd des
potism. ' CITIZEN.
Urn, tyur.ratlIIer fflardererftf
Tho extraordinary eceno ia tho House
of Kcprcsentatives recently, when Duller
boldly charged Bingham with helping to
hang "an innocent woman," will revive
the discussion throughout tho country
with regard to tho guilt or innocence of
Mrs. Hurratt, who was hanged July 7,
18C5, with others, convicted of conspiracy
to assassinate ' President" Lincoln. Mr.
Bingham wa tho Assistant Judge Advo
cate to the Military Commission, and, in
allusion to tho part of his position necessi
tated in the trial, Butler said;
"If, during tho war, the gentleman from
Ohio, (Mr. Bingham) did as much as I
did ia that direction, I should bo glad to
recognize that much done; but the only
victim of tho gentleman's progress that I
know of was ap innocent woman hanged
upon the gallows. Hi only victim in the
war was one Mrs. Harratt. I can sustain
the memory of Fort Fisher if he and his
associates can sustain him in the blood
of a woman trted by a military commission
and condemned without sufficient evidence
in my judgment."
"His associates' in this hanging were
Maj. Genera) David Hunter, Major Gen
eral Lcwii Wallace, Brevet Major Gen
eral August V. Kautz, Brigadier Gener
al Albion 1. Howe, Brigadier General
Bobert B. Foster, Brigadier General
James A. Kktn, Brigadier General T. W.
Harris, Brevet Colonel C. H. Topipkins,
Lieutenant Colonel D. It. Cleodinia, and
Brigadier General Joseph Holt, Judge
Advocate. All those, as well as Bingham,
and as well as President Johnson, who
approved the sentence of the Commission,
are included in Butlers sweeping charge
of hanging a woman "condemned without
sufficient evidence." Butler did not hes
itate to hang Mumford in New Orleans
upon evidence which might liave been
"sufficient," and no far as Mutnford was
concerned, it sufficed to hang him, and
Butler loyalty approved all the arbitra
ry acts of tho administration during
the war. For such a man to declare
that those who were concerned in the
commission to try the conspirators', are
guilty, in the ca&s of Mrs. Surratt, of
innocent dioou, win excite eumcicni in tne
case to warrant the republication of some
of the testimony in that case. It will bo
remembered that the testimony against
Mrs. Surratt rested upon two witnesses,
Lloyd and Wcichman, while most of the
offsetjing testimony in her favor was of
the moat respectable character; ana lur
confessor, who admistered the last conso
lation of religion, declared that "as God
lites Mrs. Surratt was innocent of the
murder of President Lincoln, or of any
intent or conspiracy to murder him."
Payno pronounced her innocent, and Gen
eral Hartranft said that he believed Payne.
All theso things will ba re-read with
fresh interest, particularly in the light of
the fcupreme Courts decision with regard
to trials by military commissions, and in
the face of the fact that a man like Butler,
in an unguarded moment, publicly confess
ed what possibly many other men of But
ler's political faith believe to-day. New
York World.
A Leai from a liotlern Dictionary.
Tho reader need not refer to the ''latest
Unabridged aud illustrated" to prove
tho 'correctness of tho 'following defini
tions;
Water -A clear fluid once used as a
drink.
Honesty An excellent joke.
Iiural felicity Potatoes and turnips
Tonguc-a little horse that is continually
running away.
: Dentist One who finds work for his
own teeth by taking out those of other
pcopte. ;
My Dear An expression used by man
and wife on the commencement 01 a uuar
Policeman-wi man employed by a cor
poration to sleep in the open air.
Bargain A ludicrous transaction in
wliich one party thinks he has cheated, the
other, v' ' .. W--
Doctor A njan who kills you lo-clay to
save you from dying to-morrow.
Author A dealer in words, who often
gets paid in his own coin. s
friend A person who will not assist
ou because be knows your love will excuso
iin. - " ,:, ' . ;""'.,
Bonnet The feuialo head-dress for the
front seats of the opera. - ; v
Esquire Everybody, yet nobody;
equal to colonel. -
Jury Twelvo prisoners in a box to try
one or more at tho bar. - ? -
State Evidence A wretch who i par
doncd for being baser than his comrades!
Public abuse The mud with which ev
ery traveler is bespattered on the road to
destruction. . ; ; ; r
Modesty A beautiful flower . that
flourishes in secret places.
. Lawyer A learned gentleman whores
cues your estate from your enemy and
keeps it himself. . 1' 5 ;
Tho Grave An ugly hole in tjie
ground, which lovers and poets wisn they
were in but take uncommon means to keep
out;-'" v-:-:v; - 1 ; ; ':,v
Money The god of the nineteenth
century. . ,' mi , i.-.V.-:
Txie old story ot tho school-boy who
spelled Andrew Jackson, &ru 'Jaxn has
been overshadowed by a genius out West,
who wished to mark a half-dozen new
shirtshe marked ; tho first John Joncs
and all tho test ditto. ......
Iloncstt Horace Greeley.
A great many people, says the New
York Day-Book, think Horace Greeley an
honest man, and ret he, who has been
howling for years about the wrongs of ne
groes, went to Washington to urge Pres
ident Johnson to sign a bill that reduced
eight millions of white people to a more
I - .1.1 .I'll, il . T ' I
aojeci slavery man tne I'oies, tne insn, tne
Hungarians or the Cretans have ever suf
fered." In fact, no negro was ever placed
in such an abject condition. To showthe
consistency, as well as tho-honcsty of this
apostle of despotism, we exhume a scrap,
about ten years old. On tho'28 of May,
lbbb, this same Horace Greeley offered
the following, among ether resolutions,
at the liepiiblicatt State ConvcntlotJ,' at
Syracuse, New York :
"K'csolvcd, That 'the rights of tho States,
and of the people located in the Territories,
are just objects of solicitude and support,
and we condemn the efforts making in our
day, to fuse all political power iuto one
indiscriminate and overshadowing section
alism, as contrary to'thc faith of our fath
ers, and. perilous to Republican institu
tions." - '
'Hot much evidence do the people cf
tuis country neea tnat these yelpers Jor
negro freedom only used it as a cloak, to
conceal their hatred of white mens' liber
ties? With loud professions of love for
Republican institutions, they have been
constantly striking fclori-blows at the very
vitals of all liberty, and to include negroes
in our system only to bring ridicule upon
Dcmoracy. Every man desiring to give
a vote to negroes is at heart a monarchist,
and if pressed to the point, he will confess
that he would prefer a king to the return
of the Democratic party to power. Trv
the next ten Abolitionists you meet, and
see if nine out of th& ten will cot tell you
so. ' ' ' . ' .' ' ' "
The Right to Vote. How unfortu
nate it is that Democrats, otherwise polit
ically intelligent, should be in such gross
iernorance of the real nucstion before the
country, as to be'actnally driven to adopt
the arguments of monarchists to defend
themselves ! For instance, a writer in the
Columbus Crisis says: ' '
"1'irst, then, the right to vote is not a
natural right! It is a conferred right
It will and must always have an arbitrary
ne in it.
Now, if the right to vote is a "conferred
right," pray who conferred it? Can one
equal confer a right upon another equal?
; . - . . , .1
iviogs comer rigiuson ineir suojecis, dui
tell us how one subject can confer a right
upon another subject? The very idea of
conferring a right upon another implies a
higher source from which the right
springs. But equals can confer nothing
upon equals. Every white man is enti
tled to vote because all white men are
treated equal, but negroes are not the
equals of the white man, and, therefore,
have no right to equality with, and hence
not entitled to vote. How simple is all
this! Why then wade off into the old ar
guments of kings and despots, that "hu
man rights aro conferred?" It is a shame
to the nime of Democracy. N. Y. Day
Book-
Hof Long? A correspondent asks
us "how long is the infamous, unconstitu
tional, annoying, prying, troublesome In
come Tax to continue ?" Wo answer that
it will be continued as long as the Repub
lican party holds power! That party has
discovered what they call "the resources
of the country." Having dono so, they
intend to enjoy them; and being in pos
session, obviously proceed as miners do
when they discover a golden gulch. They
are making preparations te stay and this
is what the Reconstruction and other bills
in Congress really mean with a deter
mination to get at the gold by all
known processes, and if these fail, to in
vent new ones among tjie miners. If it
is contained in quartz, it must be "crush
ed out" of it. ''The Republicans being
like the miners, the people aro com para
ble to the quartz. Hicy must yield their
gold to supply tho extravagancies of myr
iads of Republican tax-gatherers, and pay
for the costly experiments in the gov
ernment of the Republican party, even
though they are crushed ! Albany Ar-
John Morrissey. The Washington
correspondent of the N. , Y. Independent
makes the following sketch 01 John Mor
Vissoy : 'By Fernando ;yood'sside is John
Morrissey, a , physical Ajax, elothed in
unexceptionable broadcloth. It looks par
ticularly smooth and glossy from here
remember, I am looking from the gallery.
His hair, too, is black and waving, and of
that luxurious growth which marks a boun
tiful vitality. To break tho description
with an ethnological fact, the pure off
spring of the Gaelic races are almost sure
to wear this opulent crown. It is only
when thoroughly Americanized that the
vital life declines and the hair dwindles
Alas ! for the American, subsisting on his
nerve life, sustaining it with false excite
ments and unnatural sitmulants. What
wonder that before middle life he presents
such a top-knot weak, thin, fluffy, and at
last nothing at all I JNature meant , well
by John Morrissey, and gate him a mag
nificent physique. Ho thanks her by
growing into a prizo fighter and breaking
11a nnsA. ' .. . - - ' f :
Mrs. Johnson, wife of the President,
appeared at a Presidential reception lately
for the first time, and a correspondent
says: ."I felt a deep anxiety to see the
woman who had taught her husband to
read, and. inspired him with that lofty am
bition which led to place and power. She
stood" near the President, to his right;
pale, thin, stamped with care and sickness,
a countenance of thoughtful sadness, an
expression of deep curiosity,. : Looking
for a moment at each persons introduced,
her eye would drop immediately in medi
tative thoughtfulness, as if her mind and
heart were filled with thoughts and emo
tions far different. from"the giddy; throng
passing by. All who know her speak
well of her."
Courtin is a luxury, it is ice water, it is
the pla spel of the sole.' 'The man who
been a blind man among landscapes he "
has been a deft man in, the land: of hand T
organs and by the -side of murmuriri ea
nals. Courtin is like two little springs of
water that starts out from under a rock at'
the foot of a mountain, and runs down.
hill, side by side, singin, dancin spatterin
each other, edyin' and frothin, and kas- -
Kaam, now fiiuea unacr tne tgnic, now lull
ui suauuer, oyemny toey line ana tnen gry -slow.
I am m favor of long courtin; itri
gives the parties a chance id find on
each others trump cards. It is good ex
ercise,' and is jast as innocent as 5merine
Courtis like strawberries and eream;
wanti to bo did slow, and then vou havd
got the flavor. . I have seen folks get ac-?
quaintcd, fall ia love, get married, settle
.1 1 . . 1 1 .1 , .
uy u anu get 10 woric in inree weexs iront
date. This is the way that' some folks
larn to trade, akbtints for the great aam- '
ber of almighty mean mechanic ;and jobs -:
they turn out. Perhaps it is best I should,"
state sam good advice to young men who
are about to court with a view to matrix
mony, as it was In the fust place young
men, yoa want to get your svitem awl
right, then find a young" woman' who is
willing to be courted on the square.' H- -'
'ITic next thing is to find out how old
she is, which you can easily do bj asking
her and she will sa she is 16 jears ohfj
and this you will find won't be far out of"
the wa. The next thing is begin moder--,
the fust six mcnths, increasing the dose
as the pashunt seems to require. It is a fust
ate, sa once tn every nite in the week for
rate way to court the girl's mother a lif
man never despises, and that is a little
good courtin, if it is done on the square
V - tt . -ti x . v :
jiji.cr me urui. year you will uegin 10 get
acquainted and will begin to like the biz
ncss. There is one thing I always advised
mat is not to swop lotygrapna ottner than
wunst every 1C dazer noless yon forget
how tb.3 gal looks. Ockasionallj you want 1
w louit. sorry aai a raw in your wind as'.
.v w u, fcMi. ntt eg. lliv C3
tu teeain you to tu find out what ails jou.:;;
Evcnin meetings are a good tiling to tendl
It will keep your religion in tune, and if ,
yure gal happens to be there bi acel'
dent, she can ask you to go home - with
her. Az a general thing, I wouldn't bras
on other eirls much when I was courtin.
.1. k Ll 1 L ' 1 1 1. OA L 1 1 1 J Ll ' I i 11 & II II 111 1 1 ! T 1 f" 1 1
If you court three weeks in this wa, all,
the time on the square if youdon't sait is
li e 1 l 4 1 .v C w a IIITk Aa 1
to the cheap store and get measured, for v
a plug hat at my expense and pay for it.
,' :
Hemorrhage Extracixo Teeth.
Hemorrhage from extracting teeth is
tint rprr f rnn ii(nt ruvinmniM. rof
are cases when bleeding continues after
extracting a tooth, for one, two and even
three days, earning much anxiety and
suffering, i It is rare, however, that a nfi
ever proves fatal; yet it might possibly ;
occur, and it is necessary that every per-
ouu ouuui j jwuuw uut iu ireav a case 11 IB
should come under their 'observation;
. A A . A.. I I- A J, . J " 1- 1
jluu rciucuics aru iuw auu uimpie, anacao
be had in every family Ihe first remei
dy is to use freely of cold water, held in
the mouth and ropiously used on the put?
side. This, in many cases, will be suffice
icui, je. nitre are lusiances wnen lulS
will not answer. In such a . case, take t
piece of cotton cr lint, well soaked in a
strong solution of alum water, rolled up in ,
a small, hard wad, and press it firmly up
tne vutjijf VI IU. IUUUI eu B.9 tu fCUUU UitS
taouth of the bleeding vessel, and at the -feame
time close your teeth upon and com- :
press it, so as to retain it in that position. -
where it should be kept from two to twelve. -
hours before being removed. This remedy
we nave never Known to tan. it is simple, -easily
applied, and within the reach of
every person., v . . r , 'V -
1 learnea a good lesson wnen 1 was a
little girl, said a lady. One frosty, morn
ing I was looking out of my father's barn
yard, where stood many cows, oxen and
horses waiting to drink. .The cattle stood "
.... . . . . s " . ' . :T V
..aw-, nli II .x I- fill sf . ..n. m.
cun auu uicua. 1111 vmc ui tuna iu
wVnrAiir.An
si v a uWfi MVi vvi y a w uvm 4v u V- aA ,
bor kicked another. In five minutes the
whole herd were kicking each other in -
fury. My mother laughed and said "Sea 1
mVni .Am., rfv. C I- 1 1-1 t m ihVam v. mm l.!i
uiiiiii vuuita ui fti&iug Hucu j vu arc uii.
.Tnsr. Rft T hftvfl sfpti nns crn xcnrA pfc'
a whole family by the cars some frosty V
morning." Afterwards, if. my brothers ,
or myself were a little irritable, she would
say "Take, care my children : remember
howthe fight in the barn-yard began. Nev- i
er return a kick for a hit, and you will save
yourself and others a great deal of trouble.,
I ha tenrrt f'newa ' ia nst. 4m-riTimf,..
me, aeriveu iiom 1110 aujeciive new in
former times, (between, tho years 1595
and 1730) it was a prevalent , practice to
1 ' 1 it.- T
put over tne periodical publications ot
the day the initial letters of tho compass
tnus ; ... ... ' - :
. N , - - ? -
Importing that these ' papers" contained 1
intelligence form the four quarters of the
globe ; and from this practice is .derived
the term newspaper, Dictionary- 6T
Dates...., ,, v-. . V4: , :V
No Need Solan Robinson's new novr
el is entiUed "Whet is dirt ?" If .he hasn't ;
found out after twenty years' employment
in the N. Y. Tribune office, says the Nash-'
ville(Tenn.) 'Gazette, he has not necdtyr
inquire. The conundrum-after a failuro
there would stand even- ahead of the
Sphinx -riddler-un answerable. . ; , c
It is a happy omeu of the probable exter
mination of X ankeeji that the deaths exceed
births in Massachusetts. Strange record for
"free love" New England. ' .
.. , , , . ,
The - Cincinnati Enquirer publishes a ;
lengthy expose of tho Grand Army qf tho
Republic an organization of political adr
venturers and cormorants. " '