vol. n,
ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, MARCH 2, 1807.
NO. 29.
STATE BIGHTS DEMOCRAT.
rCBLISI XD KTSRT SATCRDAT, BT
ABBOTT & BROWN.
X. M. ABBOTT.
I
X. T. BROWS.
pfficc-OTer E. Oliver's Store, First Street.
TERMS, is adyascb : One jear,$3j Six Months
$li On Month, 50 ets.; Single Copies, 12 eU.
sf Payment to be made in advance in every
case. The Paper will not be eent to any ddre.s
unless ordered, i-nd the term for which it shall be
ordered be paid for. No dtparhtriittil bi'k.adt
Ve tM ttrmt in axjr intfance. '
N. Timely prior notioe wUl be giton to
'ulscrft-cr ofine wees: on which hts sub
eription will empire, nd unless an order for its
eoatlnuanee, accompanied money, be
girea, the Papr will be diso'oatiuued to that
kddress. ' .
BATES OF ADVERTISING, r tear; One
Column,- $100 ; Half Column, $30 j Quarter Ctl-
n Transient AdYsrtisemcnts per Squaro often lines
or less? mii'i iiirHtn, $3 ; each subsequent inser-
Correspondents writing over assumed sintures
r anonymously, must make knovn their proptr
names to the Editor, or no attention will be giren
to their communications.
All Letters and Communications, whether on
business or for publication, should be addressed to
Abbott & Brown.
Subscriptions for the
3TATE RIGHTS DEMOCRAT !
PHIZES-FUOJf 4 'TO $1251
la order the more rapidly to increase our
circulation, and adopt the pre-pay syateiii,
ye offer the following valuable prizes to any
one who will get up clubs for tha Pemocra?.
persons sending us clubs from a distance can
hare the articles sent to &em by express.
No prize will ha 6 tit unless the cash is sent
Kith the list, premium list does not Include
renewals of old1 subscribers. Any one, in
cluding our list Of published agents, may
compete for the prizes'. 1 ' ' '"
For US ye&rly subscribers, a fine Gold
Watch and chain, worth .". J2 $0
Tot 99 do. a fine silrer watch and gold .
chain, worth ................. ...... 60 00
For 45 do. a silver watch and chain,
SO 00
Tot 35 do., an 8-Lach reTolrer (new) with
fixtures, wor'-h ............
or 20 do., a gold pen and pencil case,
kTortii Mtn
for 12 do., a gold ring; worth
?or 6 do., a gold pen and silver case,
25 CO
2 00
6 CO
4 09
Any one sendin e us a list and preferring the
amount of his prise in cash, can get it by making
ft
s wishes known before the priie is seLt.
Terms : $3 a year in advance.
BUSINESS CARDS.
r. jyiroxs, . . .
JEWELER, AND CLOCK AND WATCH
"T EPAIREE. Shop in Gradwohl's new brick
Mjk, Store, Albaty, Oregon. ' wc20nl0!y'
sr. m. cbxsor. ce(J. fineuc.
CKAliOR & IIEL5I,
ATTORNEYS fc COUNSELLORS AT LAW
- . f
" OriCE Tn Xorcrcs3' Brick Building, up-stairs,
Albany, Oregori, "" u4
jr. C. POWELL,
A TTORNE Y AND CO UNSELLOR AT LAW
''' AND SOLICITOR IN CHANCERY,
ALBANY, Oregon. Collections and convey
ances promt tly attended to. oc20nl01y
SURGEON, PHYSt(flAN AND ACCOUCHER
Tenders his services in the various branches of
hiM profession to the citizens of Albany and sur
rounding country. Office up-rtairs, in Foster's
Brick. " oelZ no91y.
lTISTEIl & HeUATTAJf,
HOUSE, SIGN, CARRIAGE, AND ORNA
r MENTAL PAINTERS GRAIKERS AND
GLAZIERS.
Also. PaperhanHnz and Caleemininz done with
neatness and dispatch. Shop at the upper end of
First street, in Cuiungham a old standi 'Albany,
Oregon. : ' 'to22vMtt
I. 1AEEOWS, u BCinrr s. z. TOCJIO.
J. DA3KOWS fc CO.,
GENERAL & 'COMMISSION MERCHANTS
TfVEALfeil In Staple, Dry and Fancy Goo'ds,
jjP 'rooaifesj Hasdware, Cutlery, Crockery,
send fihees, Albany, Oregon.. ' v - -:
I, Consignments solicited. . - oconStf
A. . tXWBEJTCZ. ' ' " ZTTGZSZ SEMPLE.
A TT'OBNE Y3 AND S&LICITORS.
Portland ' - - Oreffou.
L' - -
SyOFEICE Over EiHofrn's Auction Booms.
December 8, v2al7tf
O. W. GIJAY, D. D. S.,
pUBGEON J)EhfTISTt jL$4NJ, OGN.
Performs all operations in the
line f DE2JTISTBY in the most
I PERFECT and IMPROVED man-
ner. Persons aesinng artmciaj yeeia
would do well to give him a call. Office up-stairs
in Foster's brick. Residence eorner of Second and
(Baker streets.' ' an25-ly
L' ' - " - I. Q..O. F,
ALBANY L'vi)Q, KQ. f.
ft
ff-Z : The XZeffular Eleet-
., . tml mgs Of Aibacy -Ledge,
Ko, 4, L O. O. F., are held at their Hall ia .Nor-
fcross' Building, Albany, every WEDNESDAY;
.15YEXLSG, at 7 o'clock. Brethren in good
gtanding are invited te attend. t.
- ' By order of the Q. au4-ly
J. T. McCOY,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW;
A5D
1
rfOTAHT PUBLIC,
POBTLAND,
1
OREGON
in 7 ILL
PBACTICE IN THE SEVERAL-1
Courts of tl is. Ckvnd State, and of Wash-
"51 rrv T.vntAJ 1 11 13 " 3 J .
foUs, -fcii, oo if.ecouE.tf, subscriptions, ete..
jyuiv wuhuiesiuu, Bust or Boiiciiauon.
Real Estalte bou itt and sold.' -" Taxea aid.-
Buildings rented und repta collected on commis-
y ; Tittles to Real. ISstate searched, and abstract
- . ALSO
" AGENT for the principaVdaOy and weeklv news
papers n- the J?aci coast. Subscriptions and ad
vertisements solicit ea... ; ,.. ,,
133 All collection s promptly remitted. '".
OFFICE No. 9 i Front etrect, Portland.
. T?s2rtf
At f U
ABVERTISEM K NTS.
THOMAS BAMPTOX
I
8. B. M'BRIDK.
NEW FURNITURE STORE!
HAMPTON & I?Xcl?niDI2,
UNDERTAKERS AND
DEALERS IN FURNITURE, BEDS k BEDDING,
Cor. FirNtaiifJ Wnalilngton NtM.,
ALU ANY, LSN Q OUECiOr,
M
WE have just laid in one of the largest and
best selected tjtockyttf Furniture that was
ever brought" to this market, consisting of .t V
CHAIRS, all descript'ns MUSId'fiTOQLS,
BEDSTEADS, i COUNTER STOOLS,
CUPBOARDS, REVOLVING STOOLS,
SAFES, CANDLE STANDS, i-
BUREAUS, WASH STANDS,
BREAKFAST TABLES, II AT RACKS.
DICING TABLES, ! " TOWEL RACKS,
kxtexsion:tables, WHAT-NOTS..
CARD TABLES, LOUNGES,
SOFA TABLES, SOFAS,
WORK TABLES, PICTURE FRAMES of
CENTER TABLES, every description,
ROSEWOOD AND GILT MOLDING,
We hare also the latest and most improved
styles of upholstery work and the finest Parloi
and Bed room sets that that was ever brought to
Albany.
We manufacture, repair or refit Furniture of ev
ery description, and do all kinds of upholstery
work.
Having in our employ none but the best of
workmen, who have served their time at their
trade in the East, we are prepared to do all kinds
of Cabinet work on the latest and most approved
styles, ad which
FOE WORKMANSHIP W CHALLENGE COMPETITION
Wa select tar itoelc in nerson. and the buLHc
may rely upon our statement of its durability and
place of manufacture.'
We have on hand 'a large and well selected stock
of Wool, Fulu, Hair, and Moss 3fa8traet.
We areaJo prepared with material fur the man
ufacture of Coffins at the shortest notice.
N. B. We have also on hand a arge lot ox
SASH, DOORS, AND BLINDS,
Which we will dbpoee of at very low rates.
Albany, is, ioo. auis-iy
WHOLESALE
CANDY FACTORY!
Xho undersigned would respectfully inform the
Citizens and Merchant! of Linn fonntj
and adjoining counties, that he bas establbhed
himself in Albany, a'sd is now ready to fill all ot0
der for all kinds of . - -
CANDIES,
AT PORTLAND PRICES.
EVEBKTTH1XO IS TH
r.
CONFECTIONERY LINE
-
constantlvon band ; and SUPPERS FOR BALLS,
SURPRISE PARTIES ad WEDDIN'CS, fur
DkheJ at short notice, in ar: '
VERY SUPERIOR STYLE.
VUh tLe above esiablishment is connected a
a SB-
BREAD, CAKES, PIES, &c,
will be delivered at private houses by leaving or
ders with the undersigned.
nov!7nUtf JOSEPH SMITH & CO.
D. BEACH.
THOS. M05TE1TH.
1. Jf. BEACH.
BEACH 8l IYIONTEITH,
Dealers in
GENERAL MERCHANDISE,
Albany, Oregon.
CORNER FIRST AND FERRY sTS-
Opposite Steamer Landing,
EW FRM, NEW GOODS.
AND
isrijsrwr pbipes
fTIHE ABOVE NAMED FIRM TAKE PLEAS
a ' ure'in notifying their friends and the' public
generally that they are continually receiving .
Dry Goods, Groceries, Hard-
' ware, &c, &c,
Purchased in Ean Francisco at the very lowest
figures, for CASH, and we are offering the same
to patrols M corresponding prices. The attention
of Farmers is especially called to our
r . ...
NEW CSTADLZSZZZIICN7.
Where we are prepated to take charge of all
Ilercliantable Produce tor which we
are offering the highest market price. " . ?.
We respectfully ask the public to call end ex
amine our stock, and prices, and We assureall that
we will give entire satisfaction to prompt custom
ers. 3F We are also agents for the Florence Sew
ing Machine Company.' ' 'eej-fim
NORTHERN LIGHT
LIVERY STABLE!
4. t i iZ
HAS AS GOODASTADLE
AS THERE IS IXf THIS STATE,
",.
And is fis willing to wait on the Public .
FOR AS LJTTLE MONEY
r . .' .-if
AS Amr MAN LIVINQ,
if i ... '
Give za a trial, and see for yourselves.
,:. i .se22n5-tf.
THERE will be regular meetings of the Degree
of Rebecca, on every Friday evening at 7
o'clock, at .the Hall of Albany Logde. No. 4, 1. 0.
Ov F , over Norcross' Store.' Brothers and Sis
ters in good standing are invited to- attend.
E. S. MEERILL, N. G.
M.L. Mi.BX, Eec'r. n!5tf
Mi
P O E T It Y .
Tiii:iu:s lvoitit i:oi ; ii to io
The blackbird early leaves its nest,
To meet the smiling morn,
And gather fragment for its nest,
From upland, wood and lawn j
The biiny beo that wings its way,
'Mid sweets of varlod hue,
At every flower would seem to say
"Thcro's work uough to do."
The cowslip and the spreading vlue,
Tho daisy in tho grt, , y.-
!The snowdrop and the fglantinc,
5 ProaoU sermons' as we p. ,
The aut within its cRVtrn doep,
Would bll us labor teo,
And writes ujoq its tiny heap
A "There's wotk enough to do'
To have a heart for thoio who weep,
Tho sottinh drunkard win :
To rexcue all the ehildrcn, deep
In miaery aud sin ;
To help the poor, the hungry feed.
To give him coat and she,
To sm that all can wrUe aud rca
"Thero's v?ork anough W dd.M
" i
The time U short the world is wide,
And much ha to be done ;
This wondrous earth, and all its pride,
Will vanish with tho sunj
The moments fly on lightning ijg,
And life's uuct rtain, too.
We've none to waste on foolUh things
"There's work enough to do."
The planets, at their Maker's will,
Muvo onward to their cars,
For nature's wheel is never still
Progrciirire as tAe tar?
Tho leaves that flitter in the air.
And summer brcexes woo,
One soletuu truth to man declare
"There's work enough to do."
Who then can slrep when all around
Is active, frcb aud frtel
Shall man creation's lord be found
Lrss than the be ?
Our courts and alleys are the ficlJ,
If men would search them through,
The beist the sweets of labor yield
And "work enough to do.
For the State ItlsbLs Democrat.
LECTURES BY REV. H. II. SPAULDING
Early Oregon Jllufcion Their Im
porfanee Its Neeurttig the i'ouu
try to American. ' :-
XUMKElt TWELVE.
On leaving Iaramic the wholu face of
the country is changed in appearance.
East of that meridian the principal ob
jects that strike the eje of, the traveler
are the absence of timber, the it&z&cnse
expanse of prairie, covered with a
rich verduro of grat, wonderfully adapt
ed fur pasturage. ' Counties herds of
bufialo acd Land. of flying antelope give
animation to the country. Tho absence
of tnountaius in the distant horizon, and
of the songs of birds in the morning,
give to it a solemn feeling. JJut west ofj
Laramie the country is sandy aud sterile
in appearance. A constant succession cf
hilli or mountains, with their black sum
mitsoccasioned by a scattered growth of
stinted cedar takes the place of the cud-
less plains. .The place of the grans is
usurped by the rertcmig$iat or agc, which
in theae lilack Hills is changed from a
hrub to a stout tree, 0 or 8 feet high and
8 inches thick, and was very troublesome
to our wagon and impregnated the air
strongly with tho odor of camphor and
spirits of turpentine, which belongs to
this plant. The feathered songsters
greet us in the morning from the small
clusters of brush and cacti, or prickly
pear. The big horn,'" or mountain
sheep, arfd the ;'black-tailed" deer have
taken the place of the antelope, and the
hills hide mont of the buffalo herds from
the eye. Hut the same low"" bellowing
and pounding of the buffalo bulls woo us
to sleep at uight, and the frequent villages
of little yelping prairie dojja in the bot
toms still amusa us' by day. 'Good cur
rants, sefvice-bcrriea and cherries grow
upon the streams. The magpie, and fresh
holes of the badgsr are ceti. Terrific
storms of wino, accompanied with torrents
of rain or hail, occasionally- visited us
from the higher mountains.. ;
Probably no human being can form
any just estimate of the countless millions
of buffalo which once inhabited the vast
prairie plaips bounded on the' west by the
crest of the llocky Mountains and extend
ing south to Texas; :Capt. Fitjipatrick,
who from hjs long residence in tho coun
try is probably good authority on the sub
ject, thought a man might start from any
point of this long' chain of 'mountains,
and travel east, and ever be in the midst
of large bands of buffalo, and never be
out of view of them till be should arrive
almost in sight of the settlements. These
were emphatically God's : cattle upon a
thousand hills a thousand times told the
ready food for numerous tribes of Kcd
Men that have disappeared, while the
remnant few, like the once great hands of
bufialo, are fast passing tiway, without
God and without hope. ' '' r
The former ages' it seems the buffalo
did 'not frequent the regions yrest of the
Rocky Mountains. This is the testimony
of the oldest Indians, and the absence
here' of their deep-worn highways, which
everywhere appear "on the Eastern side,
would favor that idea." Biit after the
whites began to traverse every mountain
stream for beaver, tho buffalo appeared,)
between the years of 1810 and 1829, on
the waters of the Columbia and Snake
rivers as low down as Salmon Falls. In
1830 a band appeared in Grande Rondo;
and when I went to Fort ColyiUe, in 1839,
I saw a few old'' skulls, quite perfect. In
1830 there were a few to be found on tho
Portneuf and in reach of Fort Hall. Now
(1837J none are to bo found on' this Vide
the mountains, and on the East side they
are being gemmed, up into four small
patches. I have taken the following table
from Mr. Fremont, which was furnished
him by 'Mr. Sanford of the American Fur
Company: r'' ' . :
"The total amount of robes anuually.
traded, by ourselves and others, will not
be found to differ much from tho follow
ing statement: ' ' r
'. . Robes.
American Far Company 70,000
Hudson's Bay Company 10,000
All other sources, probably..................... 10,000
- Making a total of...;...'.. ;...... ,;...,. 90,000
as an average annual return for tho last
eight or ten years."
It should bo observed that only four
inonths-T-rNovcuibcr, December, 'January
and February -are tho hides used fur
robes j that not moro than ouo-thlrd the
hides are taken from tho animals killed
even when they are in good season, by
reason of tho labor required in dressing;
that the hides of bulls tiro never used tor
robes; that tho great season for making
their yearly supply of dried meat, by tho
ti ibes, n 'J uly August and September
when thoylaugJtcr four times the buffalo
they kill duriug tho winter ; that the
Comanche aiid other tribes South, and
many tribe's north constituting balf tho
Indian tribes ncvor manufacture ropes.
Then wo have, taking 00,000 as tho basis,
J of i of I of Jl-18x90,0d0-f4,320,-000
killed yearly during the seven months.
Add to this tho countless numbers des
troyed by tho mountain wolves and the
elements (diiriog a severe fitorm of fcrrow
and sleet, it is said, "fllcy tOjiictitncs be
come 1 lindc4 ly heavy snow cakes freez
ing ia the long hair over their eyes, when
they become frantic, arc driven over pre
cipices by the wolves, or into the rivers,
which hunters have told me they have
seen almost dammed up by their floating
bodies), and to this again tho great num
bers killed by the whites, and uo wonder
tho buffalo have been disappearing.
On the 20th we camo to tho upper
crossing of the Platte 800 fect wide
and too deep for fording, so a boat had to
be constructed. 1 his was done by the Cana
dian voyjrurt, by first constructing a
frame of willow polc3 and small sticks in
the fehape of a boat, strongly wove and
tied together, and then covenngtho whole
with six large buffalo hides, hair out, sew
ed together with buck-skin whang end a
round awl, to prevent breakage. Crossed
next morning in good order, tho boat car
rying some 1,100 pounds.
In coming through these Ulack Hills,
the guide one day lost his landmark,
uitsM:d the point agreed upon ia the
morning, between him and the hunters,
fur the night camp ; consequently, when
the huuttrs came to tho place designated,
they found no camp. '' The next morning
they had to" throw away their loads of
meat, dash into the hills and snend the
day in finding the trail and overtaking
the train. Conicnucntly we were without
foo4 two days. I found that the Indian
couculincs were on the lookout for such
chances, and always had some meat on
baud.
On the 28th we camped on the Sweet
Water 50 feet wide a western branch
of the Platte and near Rock Independ
ence not much noted in those days; now
faid to be covered with names from the
grass to the top. Fremont says this gran
ite rock is C50 yards long and 40 high.
From a high stand-point two miles to the
South of this rock, tho beholder is pre
sented with a wild and grand scenery.
At his back on the south, 20 miles dUtaut
and 135 from Laramie. rio the Red
Ruth;, -,000 feet high, a cotcd hndmark
fur all that country. At his Let stands
Mr. Rock Independence, alonoand fairly
out from his companions and apparently
on his way to the ,rating sun, but just
now contemplating one of two passages be
fore him either the "Devil's Gate, six
mites abovo and only 40 feet wide, with
perpendicular walls risir,gM00 feet high,
through which his own "Swsef Water"
forces its way with diSculty, to enliven
the little patches of grass and hrubbcry
and beautiful flowers at his feet ; or the
"Hoi Spring Gate' some 25 miles to the
southwest, 70 yards wide, with walls of
white saud-rock rising 350 feet high,
through which the Platte escapes from
the mountains. In the distant east, and
stretching away from the foot of the Rlack
Hills, the sublime, the vast plain of the
Nebraska carry the imagination of the
observer back to the borders of civiliza
tion; And to his right and left the Ulack
Hills stretch away for hundreds of miles
like the troubled waters of the ocean ;
and still before him reach up the Rocky
Mountains, which are seen at this point
rising iu their awful grandeur and whito
with eternal snows presenting, to all ap-
icafanccs, an insurmountable bjrrrer'to
joth man and beast: ' Then great silence
rested upon this vast interior of North
America, and the moral darkness of ages
unknown brooded over tho wild inhabi
tants, who were devouring each other by
wars and leaving their fertile lands un
cultivated ; because God, many ages be
fore, had "given them over to a reprobate
mind" and to "all uncleanliness through
the lust3 of their own hearts," they not
"liking to retain uod in their know!
edge."
Tho Philadelphia Ago heartily endorsed
th6 election of ncgroe3 to tho Legislature
of Massachusetts,- and so did we. We
shall go even further, and declaro' that an
entire Legislature of negroes, and African
judiciary,' and a gubernational Cuffce,
would-.largely 'improve Massachusetts
and be substantial' justice. Rut wo are
not in favor of negro suffrage and negro
offico-holuing in a whito man s country.
It is only among Puritans that .theeo arc
proper, and in Liberia. So Bays tho St.
Louis limes. ,
Death op Risiiop Elliott. It is an
nounced that this distinguished prelate of
the Episcopal Church died suddenly at
his residence in Savannah, ueorgia, on
tho 21st ot December, lio was a pious
evangelical and eloquent minister of tjie
gospel.
An English Judge,, in charging the
jury in arailway case, said that he thought
mat tne d lowing or toDacco smuK.e in uie
face of a fellow railway passenger, might
be considered an assault. . ': , . -
Rishop Hopkins thinks that thero are
neither men nor means enough in the
South, ne says that Jackson, Mississip
pi,; is- yet a' mass of ruins. .V
Fort Rawlingsj ust below Vicksburg, is
to bo demolished, by order of Ucn. tirant
It took 2,000 men sixty .days to erect the
worss.
A D031EMTIC UOMAXCU.
A Wlnowcr rNov"j-!lvo Full In
I.ovo wllli u Uoman oI Th iiIv
lotir A Scv Wuy to Htop a 1VU-
dlI,: ' . ...
Tho Springfield (Illinois) correspondent
of tho St. Loufs Republican writes :
In tho adjoiuing township resides
Alexis P., a well-to-do farmer. Ho is a
widower of twclvo years' standing, and has
attained tJo patriarchiul ago of thrco-scoro
and fiftccn ycars. 'His family consists of
an only son, lrank, not quilo of age, and
threo daughters
of I ho ages
respectively
very proper man hale, erect, and' vigor
ous. Hts large possessions havo aroused
the cupidity of not a few advanced wid
ows.' ' Indeed ho is regarded as a daciucd
"catch," aud strenuous efforts have been
made to ensnare his affections. Rut tho
aged gentleman, though sympathetic
enough is after tender deer. His pcfci
enccs tend to the more youthful of his
admirers.
Miss Fannio R. (we suppress names for
tho sake of relations) is the daughter of a
poor but respectable farmer, neighbor of
the P. s. She is a genteel girl of unso
phisticated manners, but limitid educa
tion. Sho had been taught to idolize the
wealthy man. Tho play-fellow of IVs
daughters, she has grown up with them,
aud
is ot tho same ago of tho vuunzest.
to wit : twenty-four years old. Stran
to say, (or is it strange?) old Mr. P
has
fallen desperately in loyc with Fanny.
l(is suit has becu favored by her folks;
actual marriage contracted, and nothing
remained but the solemnization. Our in
formant, Rev. Mr. O e, of tho Epis
copal Church, had been summoned to
csiebratc tho nuptial ceremonies. Although
hostifo to tho marriage, tho daughters of
the gay Alexis had made no opposing
demonstration. On the day previous to
the ceremony, the eon Frank exhibited a
decidedly bclligeraDt spirit. And hero
comes the romance.
Frank declared, amid a whole cataract
of profane embellishments, that his father
should not bring such a young mother
into tho house. He swore the old man
should not marry the girl. Despite lic
ense, priest, and inclination thero should
be au cud to it; there should be no mar
riagc. How would he prevent it? He
would show them on the day preceding the
anticipated happy one appointed for the
wedding. An undertaker from .Spriog
field brought a coffin to the house of Mr.
P. Frauk took charge of it, and deposited it
Iwit h suitable gravity i u the principal room,
'rauk then caused the family meat-axe
a ghastly horrible cleaver to be ground
aud sharpened. Then he announced his
design. He swore (for Frank is a fast
but spoiled youth,) thero should bo a fun
eral, and no wedding. Reversing the
order of things, he'dcclarcd tho wedding-
baked meats should coldly furnish forth a
funeral; that Fanny, instead of a bride,
should become a corpse : that his father
might havo a funeral but no wedding;
that, standing thero at the threshold of
tiis paternal mansion, when she came to
celebrate the nuptials he would with that
same sharpened meat-axe, eteave her from
crown to sole: that the cofSn prepared
was for her decent burial; and finally,
that ho himself was ready for the murder-
er s gtuoct. .Matters assumed a serious
look. What at first was considered a joke
began to wear a solemn phase. Protes
tations, entreaties and threats were una
vailing ; Frank was immovable. Tho in
tended bride's friends wcro troubled and
amazed: she herself almost
frightened to
death;
In this emergency the clergyman was
sought before his timo and Consulted.
Surveying ail the situation, he finally ga?e
the opinion that the disparity ot years
presented an almost insuperable obstacle,
aud that under the circumstances it would
be wise and . expedient to have neither
eddmg nor funeral. He advised a dis
continuance of further arrangements.
Tho match was broken off, thccofEnrc
uioved empty to tho family rault, the
tneat-axe buried or rather put by for the
ensuing hog-killing season the old groom
a. tZ. I. i V-J T.- J l 1
beui uruuK. 10 uuu, auu xrauu tsiuuu cu
tircly victorious.
'No doubf. '80mo of you readers, like
many of the neighbors, shrewdly imagine
that Frank would marry Fanny. Not a
bit of it. Ho woulc& havo her; and not
the least romaatic part of the story, lanny
wouldn't have him. S Bo has just been
married to a rdain youth of tho township.
who, liko young Norval in tho play, tends
i i i i i. .1.
uia luiuer a uuu&aj 'uuu is n-upL iuuusui
ously at home. '
The foregoing though most incredible,
is strictly true. - ,(Jur informant, the fam
ily clergyman, is an aged man of most ver
acious habits and excellent character.
We give tho story almost in his yery
words Trucly, truth i3 sometimes strange
stranger than fiction.
Artcmus Ward says in "Ilia Rook":
"A female woman is ono of the greatest
institootions of which tho world can
boste. Sho is pood in sickness good in
wellness good all tho time.' Oh, worn
an, woman You aro an angel, when you
behavo yourself : but when you take off
your proper anpairal, and (metiforically
speaking,) get into pantaloons, and under
take to play tho man you play devil and
ar6 an emt atip noosance.
t , I,
Reforo tho Republican party came into
power tho Treasury Department of the
United States had 41G clerks. Now it
has 2,300. The difference is suggestive.
as 2,300 aro to 416 has been the increase
of the expense pf tho goyernment under
Republican rule.
An Australian colonist has harnessed
up a . kangaroo and put him to labor-
turning machinery with half horso power
If ho gets lazy, a pin stuck in him makes
mm jump up ; ana wnen - no oics tney
cook- and eat Jum. .;..- -t
oi twenty-lour, twenty-seven, and thirty
two.' Though in intellectual dotage, Mr.
P; is physically. ' for one of his years.
NchoolM and HihoolmuzUru. '
The rural districts, sayg the Roston.
(Massachusetts) Journal, develop some
odd and raro characters. Profound ig
norance is sometimes to bo titicd. while
at other times it assumes such a grotesque
and ludicrous character that it would
excito tho merriment' of old Corberus
himself, ' i s i
Wo hay? lately come into possession of
the factt 6f a case which transpire! some
where in Northwest Maine, thatVaro too
good to go uri chronicled. ;
A certain "Knight of tho Rirchen
Rod " wishing to obtain a certificate as a
school tcacherj as required hy the General
Statutei of Mass.. called upon the Super
intendent of Public Schools, not long since
when the iollowincr dialoeruo took tdace:
"Morning, Mr. Superintendent."
"You see, Mr., I'm a schodW it out in
my settlement, and have been for risin'
fifteen year, and I want a BertifUcati to
keep a doin'." ;
"All right, Sir; I am ready to gTant
the certificate, but before doing so I must
examine you as to your competency.
"Now look a here, 'taint no use fur to
zamino me, lur as 1 said atore, 1 ve teen
schoolin' it risin' fifteen year."
"Yes, Sir; that may all bo, but th'c law
requires me to examine you before issu
ing the certificate, and I must do my
duty.,'
" J aint no use I never was zamined in
this way, and I have a heap of stifficatos
and can fetch them into you." ; v
"Never mind the certificate; you must
bo examined as to your qualifications, or
the certificate cannot issue." ' '''. :
"Well; but -it' caray bit of use. I
have been " ' ; ,
"Never mind that; what branches do
you teach in your school?"
"O, rcadm , spelhn', wntia' and figger-
io'." - ' .
"Iathat all?"
"Yes; tho folks out thar don't use
anything else. They're 'all down on high
schcoliuV
"Don't you teach grammar V
"Oh, no; the folks are down on grammar
larniD ."
"Don't some of your scholars want to
study grammar?"
"Nary one. 'Rout five year ago one of
old man Hemphill s gals tuck a notion to
study grammar, but in 'bout two weeks she
cm it up.
"Well, it is necessary that you as a
teacher, should havo some knowledge of
ram mar, and 1 must examine you in that
ranch." , " 4
Well, now, that's no .me the folks don't
want that kind of larniu'." W
.Vcry likely. Rut can you tell me how
many parts ot speech there are?"
" ell, now let me see; 1 11 declare it
las slipped my memory. I don't jest now
recollect. Rut anyhow grammcr is super-
flewous-" - -.. t . .....
"Can't you give a guess?"
"Well I should say 'bout two!"
'That won't do; guess again."
"Well, at furdest I should say four."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, as near as I can re-collect, it
nought be, and it moughtent.
i "Now, sir; tell mo what is English
snrammar ?' ? "'
"As near as I can re-collect it's a
smallis book, 'bout so long," (measuring
with his hand,) "and 'bout a half men
thickl" '
"Did you ever scz Kh iham or Pinneo?"
"No, sir; they neycr Uyed in our settle
ment. v
Do you know anything about Bullion
or Smith?
"O, yes; I've beam tell a heap of 'Old
Rullion,' but I never have saw him I
voted for him. As fur Smith, be lives
across the run, 'bout two mile from my
house. His boys go to school to me.
"Very well. What is geography?"
"Don't use any in my school, nut if I
don't disremember. I seed somo in town
and thcy'ro 'bout tho size of a good chunk
A 1 I It ,
oi a sningic.
"Which .is tho largest river in the
worldr"
"The Mississippi, of course.
it
"What is the shape of the earth?"
"Well, m our region its right smart
hilly, but further down it's fiat and swam-
pish.
"Which ia tho highest mountain in tho
world?'?
"Pilot Knob."
"Very well. Now, sir; you say that in
your school you only teach spelling,. read-
"No, sir; I didn t say 1 larned 'em reth-
metic; I only lams 'em readin spelhn
wntin'and firerin" ?
"Exactly. Now, alter your scnolars
havo gone through tho spelling books ind
readers, what do you ao tnenf"
"I turns 'em back."-- ' '
"So you keep tncxa at the same books
all tho time?''- - - .
' Yes, grr: there's nothin' liko layin tho
foundation well and 1 turns 'em Pact til
thev finishes their schoolin'."
" "Just so. Now, sir, it seems so mo that
.p ii
vou aro a mtio rusty in somo ot me
branches and before I can give you a cer
tificate vou must study a littlo and, be-
y w r
como better posted.
"Now I don'ji seo as I can, fur, I'vo
cot a Dower of work on hand, and "the old
woman has a 'risin" on her, and J ohn has
a bealin on his left foot, which gives me
more'n I can seo to. Resides, tho people
don't want that kind of teachm', and l
would bo a mighty pity to keep-tho cfcil-
rirfm out of school now. Jut tnev.ro most
oncoramon bad off fur schoolin'.
'Very well, I will take the matter under
advisement, and you can can again m ten
via j a. , -
So the native educator departed, not al
together disconsolate' The originality o:
tho answers of "this' podagogue.', cchpe4
Shakespear's celebrated Sir Jlugh Ji vans
nit. tnlsn Tiatin ,r a-nd rvert.nr4a thf
who "smelt false Latin." and overtops the
grandiloquent nonsense displayed in the
; .
This lino fills tho. column. -
3
A Tcrrll.Io firearm. :
The OovernmcLt-is now having made
at Hartford, Conn., one hundred .battery,
guns of a new invention. Fifty .of thenx
t. - r. . i i. t. . i .i i t .
n iu Hints u in l f, friii-ii imrn rnnft - inn nn ia
anco vpoe-half inch bors. This gun k
ti curiosity to look at. V Ths main charac-4.
teristics of this terj-iblo wapdp. are that it
in.? italics vi viirrcjs, mia a vmiigi cuu
lock cylinder, rigidly fastened p tho main,
shaft, and - rotating; imu!Uuousl ianik
continuously by means cf a raak, tho
cartridge being fed into the carrier fromv
the feed hmom . tlunrJt ''driven nd wJra.
into the rear ends of the barrels, then exA
ploded and tha empty cartridge cases.
withdrawn. witKnrt: an isartaa in tKft ntu
r J I 1
eration. The inpcssant-loading and firing
are produced by the simplest kind of:
mechanism, there being less parts, aboul"
the gun tnan tho bpnngueld musket.
1 tie gun can be discharged at tne rate o
two hundred shots per minute. , One of
its features is that there is no recoil which
can effect accuracy- ! of the ann When,
the gun is once sighted ;at'a given object
the same aim can bs maintained at the will
of tho operator until ' thousands of dis-i
charges take place. A lateral ' train mo-.
tion ot the gun may be kept up if. desired-
while the gun is being discharged, so that
a sheet of balls can be made to sweep a.
section of any circle within its range. As.
there is no escape ofgasattne breech, all
the force of the pewder is , expended ia,
giving velocity to the ball. A considers
ion which w claimed to be of c the very
first importance in this gim is, that everr
cartridge must bo either discharged or
withdrawn from the barrels, thuprecludr
ing such results as were shown on the bat-.
tlefiefd of Gettysburg, where of. the 28,
474 muskets collected after the battle
24,000 were found to bo loaded, 12,000 of
them containing two loads eaeh, aado,0vQ"
Leinf eharyftd with from IhrM tofrn loads
n c , --r-
each, the cartridges being' loaded without
breaking them, and many inserted with.
the ball down first. The gun is light and
easily transported. One of the sizes now!
being made at the armory discharges 58
100-inch calibre talis, and weighs 235
pounds.' Tho other .dischargos stalls oi
one inch calibre, (cine orinces in weight,)"
anu weigns oeiwce uvu aau uuu poaoos
i i . . c a j rnn j.
1 he first named has a rango ot about ono
mile, and the latter upwards of two miles
A Han'a Life In Kittle.
The '-Memories of Count Ropotchin"
were written in ten minutes, .in ier
brief sentences he summed up the life of
the mass of mankind. e subjoin, the
"Memoir": 'X . . j s
My Rirth.On the 12th of 3Iarch.
17C5, 1 merged- from :.darjcness intp the.
light of day. I was measured, .1 was
weighed. I was baptised, I was born with
outnowing wherefore, and my iparenU
tlianked Ileavon . without knowing : what
for. ' . :. - i. ' t - :-' t
My education.-! was taught all sorts
cf things,; and learned all sorts of lan.4
iruages. Ry . dint of impudence and
uackery, I sometimes passed for a sayani
ly bead has become a. library of eld toU
umes, of which I keep the-key s'" ' '.'
My suffering. I was tormented by my
masters; by tailors who made tight dress
es for me; by women, by ambition; by self-
love; by useless regrets, and by remember-
Memorable Epochs. At the age of
thirty I gave up dancing; at forty, my en-
deavors to please the fair sex; at fifty my
regard oi public opinion; at sixty, tne
troubles of thinking; and J have now be
come a true -sage or egotist, which is tin
same thing. ," .:.
Respectable Principles. I have never
meddled in any mtrriages or scandal I
havo never recomended a cook or a physi
cian, and, consequently, havo . never, at
tempted the life of any one. s -
My Dislikes. 1 hare a dislike to sots
and fops, and to intriguing women j who
make agamo of virtue: a, disgust. of affeo
tion; pity. tor made up men and painted'
women; an aversion to ratsj liquors, meta
physics, rhubarb, and a terror of justice
and wild?.bcasia.-i . , .-.h---
' Analysis of my Life. I await death
without fear and impatience. My life-has
been a bad melodrama on a grand stagey
where Thave played the hero, the tyrant
the nobleman, but never the variet.
.My Epitaph Here he3, in hope of re
pose, aa old deeeasad man, with a itorB-
spirit, an exhausted heart, and used-up
body. Ladies and gentlemen,, pass ,onU .t
IU
A Smart Roy. The Rishop of Wurts-
burg once asked, a sprightly shepherd boy,
..ttti 'i 'L- t . :-i
v nat are, you uoiog cre, my Doyt
"Tending-swine. "How much do -you
get?-Vt ,"One florin a week." I. am &
shepherd also, sail the Rishop, 'rbut I
have a much better salary." - ",J.hat may
all be, but then I suppose you haye mow
swine uider your care," repliod the s boyi
A Cincinnati gentleman, of large busi
ness connection, whoso 'two daughters
were married on the same day last winter
to brothers, receive d a telegram the oth
er day that one daughter had been deliv
ered of a child on Saturday, at four o'clock
ia the afternoon and the "Other of a' ditto
an
hour .later. Roth are gentleman
babies.
A Western editor says : We , learn
SmtK A mpri(!i that thfiro is"w&rnn
iiuiu uuuu - .. -
tjie Plate," and Prentice .adds : .When
General Rutler. was in New Orleans there
was a terrible war cu the plate the gold
and silver plate.
Tho Sons of Temperance, in session at
Indianopolis, have decided to admit: ne
groes to membership, allowiog them to or-,
ganize divisions of their own o-jdin thp
white divisions at, their option. ; - c'
Hon.? nersohel Vt Johnson has beef
re-elected United States Senator iron?
Georgia, i " t ,' .";', ;
Albert Pike, it is said, has become as
sociated with the editorial department pf
Jthe Memphis Appexl.,