The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, August 20, 1880, Image 1

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' Tblrtrea at TaMe.
It Is 6 P. M. and I am In full dress, with
my No. R hands compressed into a pair of
7i glove, mid my fevt similarly constrain
ed. But tlie occasion is altogetlier a ieoil
one tor tlie first time 1 am to dine with
the family of uiy Oecile ; at least she will
be my Ceciie In precisely two months.
Alter to-niorrow f may vail as an accepted
lover ami pay my court every evening
from 7 till 10 ; in an hour and a half 1 am
to undergo a formal inspection by the rela
tive of ' my betrothed. It is with peculiar
care, therefore, that I dress myself and
stuff one pocket with lumps of sugar for
Bijou, the lap-dog of my nvtlicr-iii-law
thatistooe. The abominable lib !e beast
I hate dogs I have stuffed hl.n with
sugar till lie Is a perambulating confrctiou
vry, and the tears from ids little eye crys
tal iirq into rock candy .usi-.hi .-fyetids.
My future mother-in-law is mucfi'attacued
to the brute and is convinced that 'anyone
who can obtain his good opiniou'is worthy
to tie admitted into the family.
Five-twenty ; now for a hack, aud on
the road let me get a bnquet for Ceciie
white lilac aud orange blossoms. Xow
for Place Royale, and heaven, which I
shall reach at 6:30.
I arrive In due course am ring the bell,
Oli, joy ! Cecils is alone with Iter mother
dinner will not be till 7. I kiss tlie old
lady's hand and direct my way tj -the pl, wliere Ceciie is sitting, letting
Iier white fingers stray carelessly over the
keys. Tlie little witch pretends not to
have seen me, and lets me approach ap
parently unnoticed, so as to acquire the
right of uttering a pretty little scream that
will flush her fair forehead up to the fuzzy
crinkles of lialr above It, and give tier pret
ty eyes tlie startled expression which must
become Uii-mi.
&t what on earth ails tlie old people ?
Tlie old lady seems worried, and yet Bijou
is not ill ; can her husband luve been In
venting in Ottomr.u securities ? . He is
lending a letter pray heaven it nwiy not
tie an anonymous one oti my account. He
liai.ds it to uie gloomfly; 1 tMke it with my
heart in my mouth, and read :
My Dear : My lazy Jgnace is
late again as usual, so don't bother ubou!
keeping a place lor him at table I will
-'one akwae. With regrets, your affection
ate CtHlsitl. Asastasia.
'Weil." I Ry, "what about it ?" '
"What about tt K" cries Mine. Miran!,
raising her hands and eyes to Iieaven in
1 Mirror ; "what about it. Indeed ! - Why,
we sitall be thirteen at table, and thirteen
-it table nn a us tlie death of owe of -the
fpe?t9 before tlie year is out."
"Suppose yon put two at a little side
"But we should be thirteen all the same
it wotikl still be unlucky. And here it
Is half past 6 and dinner ordered lor 7"'
"Don't fret, mother dear," I say affec
tionately. "Is tliere no one living near
here I can go for ?"
How thoughtful you are. my dear son;
but tliere is nobody. Ah yes. drive to my
friend Burn. 12 Faubourg Poissonulere.
He is as regular as clockwork an old
bachelor that sits down to dinner at 7, ant!
always In full dress. Go to him, tell Iiim
what has happened and beg him to come
be eloquent, persuasive, violent If needs
"But if lie should not be at home?"
"Why, bring the first friend you meet
with you no matter who it may be."
I drive furiously to 12 Faubourg Pols
oflHiere, and find that M. Burns has been
alck, has just entered a medicated bath in
which be Is to remain for two hours, and
also lias been ordered to live on bread and
milk for tlie next three mouths.
I bound down the stairs (our steps at a
tliwe, and consult my watch. Twelve
minutes to 7 aud no dinner! Kind heaven
end this way a friend, an acquaintance!
My prayer remains unanswered ; I am
growing desperate. Coachee drive home
slowly. It I can lay hands on a man in
dress-suit lie slmll dine or die. I arrive at
the house aud pay my jarvey lie makes
change slowly, while I gaze eagerly upon
the passers.
Ha ! by Jove ! I have seen that (ace
somewtiere. And lie is - hi full dress.
Saved ! saved ! I fly to tlie arms ot a short,
stout little man, jolly-looking and very red
in the face aud sliort In the neck. He is
dressed for dinner, but his hands are bare;
doubtless, though, his gloves am iu bis
"Ha ! How goes it ?" I cry, "It takes
a weight off my mind to see you, I tel1
'Vou honor roe, sir," says the little
snan, with a strong Provencal accent.
"Can I do anything lor you f I always
(Carry my Instruments with mu."
"A doctor 1" I say, hugging myself ;
"nothing could be better." Then'-' I con
tinue : "My dear Doctor, Doctor "
"Saint-Phar, at your service."
Precisely I remember names so in
differently. Thank you, though ; but I
never as belter than I am now have tlio
appetite of a hunter. And how is ii with
you?" '"
"Well, though I say it myself, 1 play
lhe best knife m-d fork In Provence, n-here
people liave i educed eating to one of the
exact sciences."
. "Then, my dear Monsjeur 6alnfc-Ihar,
will you come aid dine with me at the
Jiouse or a rear liuiinate friends ?"
Yoq lipuor me, sir, and J aui confound
ed with your goodness. You could give
nie no higher mark of your esteem, but
unhappily I am an ntter stranger to your
'Oh, never mind ; that will make no
earthly difference. You are in full dress;
presented by nie, I can answer for your
welcome. Nothing could have happened
'I always go in ful! dress on account of
my practice among the aristocracy, which
is daily becoming more extensive, thanks
to tlie kindness of your friend, M. de Bre
mnnd, who introduced me."
"Ah, I remember ; it was at M. de Bre
mnud's I first met you. 1'ou have been
attending on him for some time 1 believe?"
"For the past two years, and without
boasting I may say that 1 have put him on
his feet again. Without me he would not
be walking about .the streets of Paris to
It is precisely for that re ason that I
wish to introduce you to my friends. To
be fra!ik v "K..;"''- 1 am on the eve of
marrying, and I bless the -happy "chance
which brought us together to day. The
family is large, and among its member
are several old folks to whom your services
will be simply indispensable iu fact, I can
answer for half a dozen new patients.
Forget, I beg of you. that we are only ac
quaintances ; treat nie and let me treat
you as it we were friends, and accept an
invitation which, if H is made ofT-hnnd will
be none the les lhe first st-p iu a friend
ship based on the esteem with which, doc
tor, your great scientific acquirements
have Inspired me.' i
The chunky little man turns purple with
delight, and seizes my hand In his two.
Never have I sieu such gigantic jiaws ;
nature has made up in that item for his
lack of stature. In sphe of this detail
which renders hopeless his claim to distinc
tion he has a good face ; De Bremond re
ceives hi in, and De Biemnnd Is very par
ticular on such subjects ; he is a doctor.
Besides I can find no one e!-e.
Saiut-Phar thrusts his hhmU into "a p,iir
of white gloves which he extracts Iroin his
pockets, and straightway they became not
hands hut monuments. "I must warn you
mv d-ur sir," he savs. "that I shall have
to take my leave (lie moment dinner Is
over, for I have a professional engagement
between 9 and 10."
"You shall suit your own" convenience."
I reply ; "it is enough that you lavish ii
ou u rwo hours of .your time so precious
to suffering humanity. This ".vay, doctor ;
just one flight up. You hall be welcome
I will answer tor that. Announce M.
Salm-Pliar," I say to the servant-
"M. deSaiut-Pliar and M. Adriu Kouy. "
she cries ennobling my companion while
she opens the door.
Mine. Miraul sails up to u, saying to
me, "We were wailing lor you ltiipatieut
iy." "Excuse my remissness, and permit nie
to present a friend. Dr. Saiut-l'lmr. who is
so kind as to consent to dine with us en
'I am obliged to you to Mm," she
replies ; "you see it Is merely a little f
ily gathering no ceremony whatever."
There are sixty tapers lighted, to say
nothing of a six-lieht chandelier ; the men
are in full dress and the women in low
necks ami short sleeves. I just wonder
what my mothr-iu-Iu-w's idea of "cere
mony" must be !
I am duly presented. Item, to the
brotlier of M. de Miraul and his wife, good
burgeois folk, with nothing particularly
noticeable alaout them ; item, to Mine. Ml
raul's old uncle, who wears t be ribbon of
the Legion of Honor, and had both feet
carried away at Sebustopol hy a canon ball;
item, to a rich old aunt, deaf- as a post ;
item, to a cousin aud her husband, the
latter, a notary, the former, to7' judge from
her thin lips a Tartar ; item, to their sou,
an overgrown and blushing booby of nine
teen ; item to Mine. Miraul's chili iless and
widowed sister, Aunt Charlotte, still pret
ty and having a look of Ceciie, who is her
favorite and loves h--r dearly. Cousin An
astasia, the mother of the lazy Ignaco,
does not usually come till llie soup has
been served one of her x-cullarlties this.
We proceed to the dining room, which
is as brilliant as tin; saloon, with lights'
flowers and silver. feaiiit-PUar offers his
arm to Mme. Miraul, who says to him :
"You see, doctor, we have no ceremony
a mere informal little family gathering.
Pray seat yourself between the Colonel
he will be glad to talk with you. tor he
has consulted all your confreres utiCf my
aunt. She is deaf but understands all you
say hy the motion of your Hps."
Saiut-Pliar, having in view two possible
patients, hastens to his seat. Unhappi'y,
Bijou, who always keeps close to his mis
tress, gets in the way aud Is trodden on
as to his ft ot.
To the cries of Bijou Mme. Miraul joins
her own. She takes him in Iter arms,
covers him with kis-es as to the rect of Lis
body and with arnica as to his pour, dear
foot ; aud it is a good quarter of an hour
ere peace is restored and the cover of the
oii-turi en lifted.
Jn?t as this is done there comes a ling
at tlie door.. It is Anastasia liai dol no,
It U a teh-grnpi as follows t
t.'i have bet-ii counting up aud find that
If go without Iguace theie Aill be thir
teen at table. Will fxtntv round after din
ner, "
Mme. Miraul torus white as a napkin,
and her husband as red as a radish ; Ceciie
seems uneasy. IJyerybody counts noses to
see that we arc huleed the fated thirteen.
Only the deaf aunt Is unlmpr5Sd -nd
rialnt-Iiar, who makes Ids soup jiljifippear
with a prodigious -ajKlity, wasluss it down
with a srlass of irood wine- ami vith a sigh
of satisfaction and a u iuk at M, Muaul
observes, "Kxquislte, by Jove !" He
cannot have touched food for a week from
the manner in which he attacks the hors
d'oeuvres. A nice mess I have made Of it
bringing the fatal thirteenth guest to din
ner after taking so much trouble to find
him. I dare not raise my eyes, for I feel
the reproachful look of my mother-iu-law
that Is to be scanning my face; but, after
all, we cannot very well turn Satnt-Phar
out of doors, and t he catastrophe is attri
butable to Cousin Anastasia.
However every one makes heroic at
tempts to overcome the gloom which has
settled upon the company, and as the
dinner Is admirably cooked and served,
and the wines are iu great abundance and
variety, we finally become comparatively
social aud agreeable.
Except Mme. Miraul, that is. She rc-'
tuses to look at Saint-Phar, who not snly
is the fatal thirteenth, but alio tro4on poor
Bijou's foot. Not that that worthy seems
greatly to care. I brought him merely to
dine, and he is faithfully carrying out his
contract ; he only speaks to the Colonel
to ask him to till his glass, and then, salut
ing the deaf aunt, tosses it off. The Saint
Phar is C'ecik-'s future husband, and I
hear her say to the she-notaiy. "I
thought he was younger, and they said he
was good-looking ; tor my part I find liim
homely however, if Ceciie is satisfied
that is the main point."
"You are mistaken, "says the she-notary;
"the luluiu husband is the one sitting be
side Ceciie. Don't you think it almost in
decent ? Besides, the mother forgets that
a projected marriage sometimes comes to
"You are right,' said the deaf old
cousin, who would have it believed that
she is following the drift of tle conversa
tion and understands it thoroughly ; "I
prefer it minced, however, since 1 have
lost all my teeth."
"Don't you think It is shameful, too?"
says the she-notary to M. Miraul's brotlier.
"Xo, madame," says the worthy gentle
mau ; "if those young people are side by
side it is because Cousin Anastasia, who
was to sit between them, has been unavoid
ably detained, uud for my parti
harm in it, not even if the marriage never
takes place !"
The she-notary glares at me. I have
not made a, good impression on her nor
has she on inc. ' Perhaps the old hag want
ed to capture Ceciie for her lukber ot a
son :
And now tlie dessert Is brought in, to
my delight, tor in a few minutes Saint
Phar must take his departure. It is fright
ful the quantity ot wine he has absorbed
into his system, and he has been eagerly
discussing some subject with the tild Col
onel. But, it all, sir,"' cries the vener
able soldier, "I tell you I haven't any
that I had both feel carried away by a
Camion hall ttt Subastopol."
"Aud I, s:r. assure you that yon must
have. 1 have found them in cases whe.e
people absolutely refused to believe in
their existence ; the surgeon talked ot
amputating the foot, but 1 came like an
angel of mercy and extirpated the delin
quents, and when it was thus established
that I was right and the others wrong, I
have displayed the corpus delicti to delight
ed thousands, and they liave instantly
hailed uie as the great, the clever aud the
incomparable Saint-Phar. Had I wished
it, my breast to-day would' be covered
with foreign orders, as through my bauds
have passed no end of feet belonging to
crowned 'heads ; but, as I always say,
Keep your crosses aud your libbons and
leave me my independence all feet are
equal before me.' I know, sir, that you
Lave them ; that the fair but deaf lady on
my left has them ; that all the brave men
and fair women surrounding me liay-e
them, and under these circumstances 1
rise to propose a toast. Ahem ! Respect
able family that has been so hospitable
tor me, never shall I forget the two hours
I have spent iu your bosom. You have
conquered my devotiou ; henceforth, by
day or by night, call upon Saint-Phar be
will ever be ready to relieve you. Here Is
my card, you will find my address on it,
aud now let nie drink, 'Destruction to
your corns !' Adieu, new-found and dear
friends, 1 bear you with uie iu uiy heart."
He empties his glass aud leaves the
room ; a moment later we hear the outer
door stain behind him .
We have remained awestruck and stupe
fied. Mme Miraul cau hardly find strength
to say
"We are lost ! That mau is the devil
and iio one else ! He has drunk to our
death ! Thirteen at table !"
"Come, come, niccey," says the old
Colonel, bursting luto laughter, "he wasu't
the'deyil. Hero Is ills card, Inscribed.
; Sain-Phar, Corn-Doctor, :
: 4 Place de la Bourse. :
- I desire the ground to open aud swallow
me np ; all eyes are fixed upon inc. !
"A-ali, so he is your friend, eh " says
the she-notary,
I can no longer stand It ; my only way j
out is to tell things as they are, and I blurt,
out tlie whole story. Every one laughs j
it is admitted that, alter all, Saint-Phar
has some good points about hi tn and every i
one takes his address. I feci greatly re-!
Iieved by my confession, and bat tor my '
future motlier-iu-law's gloomy counten
ance I should be altogether happy.
After dinner arrive several persons
Among them Cousin Anuatasic, whom
Mme. Miraul overwhelms with reproaches.
She throws all the blame on her sou, the
indolent Iguace, and only considers her
self censurable in that slie has hitherto
spared the superstition ot Mine. Mini ul,
and then triumphantly declares that she
has dined at least twentv times in a cora
puny ot hirteen and has never yet died.
Triumphant in this demonstration she
crosses over to mo and says :
"Sir, I am glad to know that you are
about to enter our family. In marrying'
Ceciie you gain the capital prize in the
lottery; she is an angol aud will make an
adorable wife."
Being altogether ot her way of thinking,
I shake eagerly the I...- she extends to
me and tlie cvenii g etids pleasantly
When next-eretiing at 7:15 I call at the
bouse I find Ceciie and Aunt Charlotte en
gaged iu tapestry work.- M. Miraul read
ing his newspaper and his wife plunged
iu the depths of an armchair and utter
woe. :
My poor boy," she says feebly. "I
almost died last night."
'Why, mother, I "ays affectionately,
kneeling beside her chair, "what has been
the matter with you ? I find you looking
very pale."
"Xo wonder my dear son, that I look
pale, and feel pale. too. Thirteen at table
death Is hoveling over us."
I "Yes, death is always hovering over us,
but let him hover without worrying our
selves about the morrow, which does not
belong to us, or entertaining glooms
thoughts. We only need your suiile co be
so happy !"
"Ah, my children," she says faintly,
"do one thing to please me. You were to
be married on the 2d ot December, post
pone your wedding till the 2d of January,
when the year will be over. The delay
will not be a long one. If during the
Interim no one dies I shall once more be
happy, but for the present I am possessed
of a fixed idea, and I don't know wliat will
become of me If yon don't yield to my
Ceciie weeps because she sees her mother
crying ; M. Mirnnl coughs huskily ; Aunt
Charlotte whispers to me that Eulalie is
subject to such fits of despondency, and
that my wisest course is to give In for the
Come, mother dear,' I say at last, "1
will do whatever you desire done. It Is
punishing me cruelly to exact tha. I shall
give np t"-o months ol happiness, but I
desire above everything your comfort."
We alt embrace each other, which gives
me the right to ling Ceciie (some compen
sation, anyhow), and at 10 o'clock I go
home, cursing superstition in all its forms
with much warmth.
A month slips by ; Mine. Miraul re
mains immovable in her determination.
I dine there twice a week, and on Sundays
I am here from 11 K. M. till 10 P. M. ; the
mote I see of Ceciie the better I love Iier
and the more savagely do I chafe against
her mother's prohibition ; though not
naturally bloodthirsty, I have come to
desire ardently the death of the she-notary,
or even of her son, so as to pnt an end to
the suspense. But none of the family give
any signs of failing.
Oue evening Mme. Miraul caps the
climax by discovering that the fatal pre
diction docs not refer to the year ot grace
in which the illomened dinner takes place,
but to the twelth month beginning with
that day, and suggests that tlie wedding
day be referred until next October !
My blood runs cold at her words, and
Ceciie turns deathly pale. I go home with
out a word, kick my unoffending furniture
about the room and assault my defenseless
pillow with inexcusable ferocity. The un
complaining docility with which it receives
my blows disarms me and I weep aiiu
sleep. In my dreams a happy thought
comes to me and before the day I arise and
hasten to the chambers of my friend, the
euitor of M. Miraul's favorite newspaper
I find him in lied, but he must listen to me
tor I am desperate. Halt an hour later I
leave his presence radiant, for but I must
Xext evening I make my usual visit and
find the ladies knitting and my future father-in-law
reading the paper.
"Well, sir, what is there new to-day ?"
'Oh, nothing, nothing ! Politics, ever
lasting politics dreary, dreary reading.'
"But do you never read the local items ?
You don't? Then, sir, I think that you
are wrong they often contain items of
singular interest. Let me read you a few
of them. I thin a the ladies will like them
and it will rest your eyes."
I take the paper and liave just disposed
myself to read, wlu-n Mine. Miraul com
plalns of being thirsty.
Propitious lot tune. I thank thee ! I
dash out of the sitting room into the kitch
en ; ask the bonr.e for a glass of eau sucree
for her mistress ; cram the paper Into the
wood-box and take from my pocket the
copy prepared exclusively for my use by nay
friend the Journalist and return to the salon.
I begin reading tlie local ffems" and
my reading Is approved by tlie ladies, when
suddenly I cry aloud : '
'Great heavens ! can it be possible ?
It must lie the same man ! Then, after
all, tliere is somethl-ig in the superstition!"
What is It ?" everybody exclaims.
-'Jjist!!,5" I say, solemnly, and read as
follows, amid a profound silence :
'StjDrHEi? Death. There.- was buried
yesterday a mau who had made no little
noise in his peculiar profession a pedicure
named Saint-Phar, a ycry clever picrjftpn
Having dined very heartily he went to the :
house of a patient, M. de O., who had com
manded his attendance, and was struck
down with apoplexy. - His patient was
so deeply -affected wtMJii'tie learned of the
death of the man whe died in Ida arms
(or, to speak more accurately, at his feet
that the physician called lit to attend to tlie
unhappy pedicure liad all he could do to
restore the agitated M. de O."
Mme. Miraul seizes the paper from my
hands, gazes eagerly at the item and ex
claims : v
I told you that thirteen at table was al
ways unfortunate and one of the company
would certainly die before' tlie year was
out. May tlie unhappy man rest in peace!
how glad . I am that . the horrid, haunting
nightmare at last is over. My children,
the dreadful debt is paid. I am anxious to
see you-lmppy. TIm, feArriage-- will, take
place this day week."
The months slip away like a dream and
the 20th of October comes round once more.
Ceciie has made me tlie proud and happy
father of a bouncing boy ; mother and child
are doing well and the cousins and aunts
are trotting over the house radiant with
joy. Suddenly I hear at the door a lively
aud loud altercation between my servant
and some one with a powerful voice aud a
pronounced Provencal accept.
I tell you I will go in that I mnt see
your master," shouts the stranger. The
door of the salon is opened and In bounces
Saint-Phar, the Saint-Pliar whom I had
slain and buried. He rushes into my arms
crying :
"My dear boy, you must ha-e thought
nie dad, for during the year since the day
when I had th honor ot dining with yon
aud the amiable family that surrounds me
you have never heard from me. I have
been away in Russia, having been sum
moned thither by a royal personage who
designated me his Peulcnre In Ordinary
with an extraordinary salary. All has
gone well w ith me : I am growing lich. 1
got a month's leave of absence and arrived
In Paris this morning. I posted off to
your friend M. de Bremond's and round
your addreas. He told me ot your good
foituue and I drove here at once to bring
iny congratulations and assure you that
you invited to the hospitable board no un
grateful wretch, but one whose heart and
stomach are filled with gratitude. By
Jove ! how glad I am to see you all to
find us all reunited at the close of the year.
Do you remember how we were thirteen
at table that night ? Thanks to you, sir,
and your charming wife, we are fourteen
now. May we be fifteen this day next
yeai !"
He laughs a mighty laugh, like the roar
of a Maltese k'tten.
Mme Miraul looks at uie closely. 1 look
down, reddening.
You deceived me," she says.
"I did. dear mother, but are you sorry
that I dkl You would inevitably liave
died of .moping ; Ceciie would , not have
survived j-ou, and 1 should have followed
her to the grave. Instead of three funerals
we have had one wedding and are to liave
a christening. Yon see, mamma, that the
superstition about thirteen at table Is a
puerile one that there is nothing iu if.
Forgive my deception and believe that that
superstition, the superstition about spilled
salt, about ibe loaf of bread turned upside
down and the like are all old wives' tales.
Take your grandchild, grandma, and have
faith only iu the bright and happy days
sent us by Heaven, and let us all remem
ber that the best way to thank Heaven for
them is to enjoy them to the utmost.
From the French of Jt. Lufontaine.
A "Kore'"-lna; Kemlatacenee,
David Borer was one of the most prom
inent lawyers Iu Burlington. Iowa, at tlie
time I located there, in 143. Iess than
five feet In hlght, he weighed over 200
pounds, and was a stranger in make-up
mentally as physically. Kuinor said that
he reported himself as a native of Arkan
sas, that he had been principal hi several
duels and always killed his man. He
settled in Burlington several rears before
my advent there, and had made quite a
history for himself, even at that early dav.
As a lawyer no one ever questioned either
his shrewdness or ability ; but he brought
with him the habits and manners of Arkan
sas, and for a time was a great terror to
tlie citizens of Burlington who had learned
their manners in the Sunday Schools of
New England. His first case In Burling
ton was before a justice of tlie peace, at a
time when there were neary as many In
dians there as white people, and the dig
nity of a justice's court about ou a par
with what are called courts of justice in a
new mining district. Rorer waddled Into
tlie court room with the air of a prize
tighter, aud drawing his bowle knife, laid
it on tlie table before him, remarking that
it would not be healthy for any Yankee
lawyer to insult or even contradict him.
The attorney upon tlie other side being of
a nervous, timid nature, could do no better
than lawn before him like .a slave before
his master. Not satisfied with this, Rorer
bullied the justice by relating what happen
ed to an' Aarkansas justice who had the
temerity to decide a point of law against
him. Of course Rorer won his case, and
bis reputation as a successful lawyer was
establislied at once. Business poured lu
upon him, foi he was just the lawyer to
please a community where club law"
was held lu higher esteeta than any other.
He always carried his bowle knife, yhich
he was ready to display ou . tlie slightest
disagreement, and t'cycr failed to lay it ou
the table when frying a case before a jus
tice. Thus matters went on for a long
time, until he received his first check,
which 1 will relate.
A Methodist clergyman, whose name,
I think, was Case,, very eccentric, amount
ing almost to insanity, had trouble with
his church, and was suspended from preach
ing. Mr. Case felt that injustice had been
done him, and be resolved to break off all
connection with the Methodist church.
Accordingly bo wrote notices and posted
them up iu all the public places tor miles
about. Tlie notice read as follows :
"Be It known from shore to aliore.
That I'm a Methodist no more."
Subsequently Mr. Case had' some busi
ness trouble with one of the citizens of
Burlington, which resulted in a lawsuit,
before a justice of thev peace, and he re
tained a young- a Syy lately '. from
MassftcJttMetts, who hail it) vet- tried a at
In Burlington. The Yankee' was very
modest In bis mauoer! with tlie appear
ance ot being a constitutional 'coward.
Rorer was retained ou the other - side.
When tlie trial came on, as Rorer depos
ited Lis Arkansas toothpick" on the
table, accompanied with his usual threat,
the great throng of spectators, drawn tliere
by curiosity, evinced much sympathy for
the beardless and sorrowful-looking youth,
wno seemed to shiver In every joint, as
Rorer threw his Arkansas glance upon
him. During the examination of the
witnesses the Yankee' lawyer appeared to
be iu great awe of Rorer, yet It was no
ticed that his examination was much more
able than was expected. The testimony
showed very clearly that justice was on
the side ot tlie Methodist parson, but it
was just the kind of a case tor Rorer to
wlu by bullying, or, had the modern term
of -bulldozing" been known iu those days,
it would more forcibly express the idea
that 1 wish to conyey. s
Mr. Case was tlie plaintiff, in his open
ing argument the young man fiom the
State of the Adamses and the Websters
merely pointed out tlie law on which lie
should rely, made a few comments, and
resumed his seat as though greatly friglt-
tened at the idea of opposing an Arkan
sas earthquake. Rore stralghted up his
short, thick body, the image of an abbre
viated gladiator, and; grasping his knife
which he brandished within a few inches
ot the head of his opponent, began in sub
stances as follows :
"May it please your honor, you have
heard the idiotic attempt of tills northern
mudsill to muddle tills honorable court lu
regard to the law which is applicable to
this case. The cowardly Yankee, who
sits there trembling like the sneaking cur
that he is, and dare not say Unit his soul
hi his own, knows tliat lie lied to your
honor ; he kuows it be knows anything,
that the law which he read to your honor
does not apply to this case, and I trust
your honor will administer a fitting re
buke to the young upstart who has bad tin
stupid impudence to attempt to thus im
pose upon the credulity of this intelligent
court. I dare him to deny tliat he lias
lied. Your honor cau see that be is dfraid
to look up. The mean, contemptible liar
is invariably a coward. The truly brave
man, who dares to look the wliole world
in the face, scorns to tell a falsehood.
And this liar, this uortlieru liar, tlie wift
of all liars, when detected iu bis baseness,
sits there like a wbipt spaniel. Evidently
the young man has mistaken bis calling.
If I had him in Arkansas I would put a
driver over him and teach him to jump at
the crack of the whip. In some such way
as this he might be made serviceable to
mankind, but as a lawyer faugh t
"I will not pursue a thought so abhor
rent to chivalrous and refined gentlemen !
Turn now to the client of this contempt
ible Yankee. Look at ; hhn ! A lialt
witted, broken-down preacher, with no
more sense than to put up notice like this
all over tlie country :
'Be It known from shore to shore,
Tliat I'm a Methodist; no raoru.'
"As your Houor is aware, against true
piety and true religion I liave not a word
to say. Tlie true clergyman, who is ready
to give his lite for t'ie salvation of ini-
-ortfrtal souls, must ever command iny
highest respect and veneration. But tlie
knavish hypocrite, who steals 'the livery
of heaveu to serve the devil in,' Is to me
an object of tlie deepest loathing. Iook
at this poetical and divine hypocrite !
The vary expression of Ids countenance
shows that after being paid a debt in full
be would bring suit to collect it o rer again.
This Northern honesty. Tills is Northern
morality. Xo wonder he employed such
a thing as this to help hint to rob my client,
for no respectable lawyer would 'be en gag
ed In any such dirty work. Any gentle
man possessing the least germ of the chiv
alry of spirit and nobleness of soul which
characterizes the sons of the South would
scorn to sell himself for paltry gold by en
gaging iu anything so mean and contempt
ible." Of course I have not given tlie precise ,
words, but liave clothed lu my own lan
guage the ideas expressed by Rorer, as I
remember tlieui. The foregoing is a foir
sample of the whole speech, for it was In
no sense an argument. Yet tt was speeches
like this tlutt wou cases In those days, and
no doubt many a political issue Is being
settled tn the South, even at this date, by
speeclies made to a spirit similar to tlie
foregoing. I do not say this as politician.
but as an American citizen, for I learned
my polities or Andrew Jackson, and ale
ways admired tlie grit of 'Old Hickory"
wlien he said of Call loan, "By the Eternal,
I U1 hang him as. high as nainan."
Rorer pnt up his bowle knife, ou resum
ing uts scat, haying all the anncurauceor
a man not only sure ot winning bis
but well satisfied with his own touwterljr v
effort. A dead sllenc preyailedaa tins '
son ot the Old Say State slowly assumed
an upright postur. all .appenraace of
tiroidity.gomv and to clear, rtngtnglent,
like tlie "clarion tongue" of the great &rea- " '
sic orator of Massachtwetta, began In sub
stance as follows :
"May it please the Court, X bare been
greatly edified by the remarke or tn
learned gentleman who has just taken fait
out ' Nnl. M-.t Ik h iHjimiiilr laamaA tfl
legal lore, but with ft fine. Beetle talnd
his whole foul attuned to hennotay. A
discover that be baa so cultivated the
Muses that be enlivens ft dry fega argon
ment with tlie most eloquent of poetic
quotations. Aud as I ms listening, feast
tng my hungry soul wkh,4Jbm itUm,P r
poetic beauty wMch B"ei row bi tSS
vflMt link. II Ira Fit tWKWl.-Mitn :"ffttaaT
summit of Ueunt Ynim. my wit''
Mue caught the celestial trwplratJtSav
Thoughts too grand and sublime tO tJrtiV
utterance even tn tbe most eloquent prose,
like flashes of light darted tbrough any
illuminated brain, arranging themselves
In such melodious metre that there could
never be poetry sweeter, (you see, your
Honor, that I cannot even relate tt tn
prose.) and I trust the Court will ' Indulge
me tor a moment while I ' repeat tbe di
vine Inspiration suggested by tbe poetry
of my learned friend :
Be it known from shore to al-dre,
Tliat David Rorer't come to tear t
But since his roaring eoroe to jwaa,
Tin bnt the braying of aa ass
Without waiting to draw bis bowle- .
knife, Rorer sprang at tbe young lawyer,
with clenched fist, as though be would an
nihilate bim at a single blow. But as
Webster said, tn reply to Hayne : ".Look
at Old Massachusetts t There she stands !"
And there stood son f Massachusetts
while a son of Arkansa "rushed to glory"
, that Is, the glory ot a good thrashing, for
he was knocked down the first pass, welt
beaten and kicked, aud finally dragged
out of doors by tbe feet, Do person offer
ing to interfere. Hastily returning, the
young seion of Massachusetts, apparently
not in the It art concerned, resumed: "As
I was saying, your Honor, when Interrupt
ed " and calmly proceeded; with, bis
argument, save as Borer attempted to
enter the room again, when be forbade
bim, under tbe penalty of another tSogg- .
tng. So Rorer stood tn tbe door and ap
pealed to tlie Court for protectiou ; but
the Court thought if the Cotift understood
herself, that Borer bad been justly punish
ed, and refused . to lnte-fere. It was a
good lesson to. tlie Arkansas cberalier.
aud after that Borer was never known to
draw a knife on any occasion ; and to bo
a respected . lawyer one must bo able to
boast of having knocked 4fami Old
The reader may deem this a mer? fancy
sketch, bnt there are numerous persona
living in Oregon w Ik cannot Its re forgotten
Rorer, or tbe cowardly manner In which
be shot tuui killed an editor. 1 1 forget
whether tbe editor was Mr. Jacobs, or
Mr. Bradstreet, for Borer shot one of
them and was the cause ot tbe other be
ing shot.) Judge J. W. Webber, who
lives in East Portland, saved the life of,
Rorer from an angry mob, when he shot
tbe editor. Ben. Strang, tbe tb-avtn of
this city, I think will remember abocot,
"Old Borer." Besicles, Borer U the au
thor of some legal work I forget tbe title)
which cau be found in the State Public
Library. For my part, quarrelsome as I
am reputed, I never bad trouble wits,
Rorer but once ; he called me a liar, and,
I knocked him down with tbe Berfaredi
Statutes. Tlie last f ever beard of Borer,
a year or two ago be was still living . ' A
a lawyer, he was a great succoct; as a
moral, upright citizen, a failure. Perhaps
like wine, be grew better with age.
Statesman. . - -
A member of the Democratic State Cen
tral Committee, of Massachusetts, E- H.
Lathrop, ot Springfield, hi ft letter reslo
iug bis position, protests against the action
ot the. Democratic National CeTentIon.hi
passing over men in tlie party of "approved
statesmanship and ability, ripe in civic,
Judgment and attainments, for, "one
whose known civil jualitei are mostly o
gatlons, and whose career Is blaaoned only"
In the red light of military achievements. "
When tbe hurrah Is over, the thinking men,
of the Democratic party will see the mat.
ter w tbe same light.
Skattuc Aug. 14 A twelve-juar olt
son of Mr. Dawson, of Samtab, while visit-;
tng bis uncle, J. V. Dawson, telegraph,
operator at San Juan, last -week accident-;
ally sliot himself by the careless bandluijg
of ft shot gun. the entire charge entering
his neck and, killing hhn Instantly. ' .
Mrs Clark and her eJeveo-yer old son,
Thomas, wlio have been pn trial before
tlie district court at lACooner during tba
past, week were yesterday coiivicted of
manslaughter and sentenced to the terrtV
torlal penitentiary. Tbe son, ff wilt b
remembered, at tty Instigation of bis
mother, a tew months seo sbot and In
stantly killed Mitchell faddea, a- promt-'.
Paddeo tamiiise,
W.414U. WLI-V W. IT., Aug. ? A
fatal accident EfpprTed Jjjsro yesterday
owing t a team boUg, 4 man earned
Gxr H, LlyeFWPns ff OftS. fyoodr
bury eouutVr lolh -"Wv IP-d P7
wheels passing oyar t?im. ' T5?
Ittdustrious yon$ men 28 years old. A
Chinaman wib him fsaofkUIly Irjurj.-J"
his back being brokeu.
wut kihwd ot n jsuom county, wnta tarn
latter was engaged tencUig In s piece
of land in dispute between tiie Clark aud