v
-
"X,
EBV33BBBF
.,, .v-S-''"--"' jy-y-yuw
A
; V
VOLUME XII.
nusiyjsss CARDS.
Oa. t'ais Spies Tqvlt yaaks.
IS" 32 "W
..Cominor!
X. B. lurilEHHBX, Agent,
vlln33
JOHN BRIGGS
TVKESTni3 OrPOBTOITT to istoh
A his rrien'Js an the public generally, that
Is now settled In his
NEW. BUSINESS HOUSE,
as large a stock of
Stoves and Ranges
Vn be fonnd In any one bouse tnii side of
Portland, and at as
LOW A. PRICK.
astiron; Brits & Enameled
KETTLES,
In great vartet. Also;
tin, ...
Sheet Iron, , ...
dalvanixcd Irou,
and
C?icrrarij;
iwiivs on hand, lin.i iriatio o order, AT LIV
lHt 'BATES.
Call on
Albany, October 2. 187S-5V8
(3ITT DUTJQ- STOBE.
Comw First and Ellacrth. sts.,
Al.55.VNi', OREGOX.
it a SALTMARSII,
Has again taken charge bf I Vie
City Drug Store,
sarins; purchased the entire Interest of C W
Hhsw. successor to A Carotliers A Co., and is
now receiving a
Splendid Ho7 Stock,
watch, ad-Jed te the former, renders it very
complete in all the different departments.
keeling asared that all oan bo suited tn both
, Quality &&d Pries,
eera telly Writes His old friends and custom
ers to give blot a cail.
171S1 rr5el- lniTndiit!e Rnd cnrefitl altnvton
Ml nil nitilni, l.lj nuU islftht.
re Wines and Liqliors for inedicina
nrposcs. SALTJ1ARSU.
Oet.tS. TT-SViO
city iviiMiii" :
First street, S doors west of Terry,
AMAXr, i t HKUOSt.
nOZiACZXZB & GCETZ, Trsj's.
HATIIIG purehasd the tiity Marknt. I will
keas constantly on hand all kindsOt Mrats
ts rery best to bo ootatned in the market,
t will strive at all times to meet the wishes of
All wao may favor tne with thuir patronage.
The pu!lie generally are invited to call at my
shoe whan in want of meat. tSTIhe highest
itut pries paid for FU11K. 61 v !Usl3
New Goods ! Xew Departure I
MILLINERY ANDDRESSMAK1NQ.
MRS. O. L. PARKS,
SrATiNd Purchased the mim.inery
L Store lately owned bv Mrs. C. P. IHtvis and
ring just added thereto a ne w-tnroiue of bite
Cioico Hillinsry, .Trismi&3(
Sonnets, Hats. c. takes plcasare in IrtvUihir
theladiesof Albany and vicinity to call and
inspect for themselves. All goods will be sold
at prices that defy competition.
Having secured t kc services of a first class
IiesTiaalcei I
1 ana prepared to cnt. It, and make dresses In
any style dosired, at tfliesu notice and In astftls
factory manner. . ... ,
CarXakins Clothing ftWcHldren specialty
Btere on north side of First. east of Ellsworth
treat. Ton are invited to call.
WltS. O. I. TARKS.
. 187-
Iifilli"bl8 Indian Bsmsiies.
. Sure Snot For
JEJVjSIjt & AGUE.
tSCRIXd IjOSO kemdewce amovo
JLT the ndistn triixsof the coast and the inte
rior, I have lis I the stood fortune to discover,
from the "Medicine" men or the several trihee,
and from otimr sotirees, a numiter of rotnoilies
fo diseases incldem to this country, oonslt
Ing of roots, lierlnnnd tmrk. and having; been
elicited by many rstoplc" of this valley, who
hare tried and proved the. eiTlcary of them in
disease, to procure and nttbr the satnto for snle,
I take this means of announcing 10s nil t hnT,
daring the past season. I tmv; made an extend
ed toar throuirh ttie mountains and vallevs',
and have snonred certain of these remedies
which are a sure cure for
Fever and' Ague.
Those mfferlng" from Agne who' desire to be
- eared, oan leave orders at Mr. Strong's store on
First street, where I will furnish the remedies,
warranting; radical cure or I will demand no
par. W.li.JOilN;
. fg0BeiBedlea done up In paekagres. 13-1
LEGAL.
C. E. CHAMBEBLAIN.
FLIXX & CHIJIUKIILAIX,
Attorneys at Law,
ALBA2ST, - OJKEOOJT.
OFFICE-In Foster new brick block, first
door to the left, up-tiilrs. vllnld
J. C. POWELL,
w. R. BitVEc:
POWELL A r,TLYJ-:ir
Attorneys at I.itw anil Solicitors
In Chancers'.
Albany, Orkuos.
COLLECTIONS prbnintlv uiaile ondll points.
Loans negotiated on reasonable terms.
Office in Foster's new block. nl-Ivll
J. K. WEATII E R FORD,
(KOTABY rTBLIC.l
Attorney at Iaw,
ALBANT, : : OREGOX.
' TITILt PRACTICE IN THK VHfERKN'T
i.iru( the 8tnte. SpecM nvtrtitton glv-
In OtUl Fellows' Temple. n47vlO
D. n. X. BLAt'KBl'RN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
AlBAJiy, ; ORCUOX.
PROMPT An EX J ION GIVEN To ALL
business. 22v9
It. B. HCMPnKEY. c. t:. H-CI.VEKTON.
IltunpIircT & Wolverton,
Attorneys ani (oitnselors at ltsr.
ttri L I. .PRACTICE IV ALL THE COURTS
T of thisSLHtc. OfKifE-iu Fromun's brick
(up stairs: Albany, Oregon. Iln49
L. 11. MOXTAX1E,
Attorney at XaSv,
ALBANY, OREUOr.
OFFICE Cp stairs, over Jolln Eris"s: store,
on First street. vllnlo
C. II. HEWITT,
Attorney ri5 Counselor at Law.
Ojnee, Old Iisl OL-e Building, Albany, Orrgon.
WILL PRACTICE in the different Courts of
the Slate. vllnji
MEDICAL.
is it. h: j. csstrccsiix.r,,
IIotuobopHttiicj P;.leIan Mud Surgeou,
"FFICE-In McIInain' luiek. Allnv. Osn
v- Ch inn ic diseases a Sp-viaf). Can be found
a; my offlee at a:l hour- ot b: day or ni;rht.
J. StRJSAA, 1. !.,
terccESsou to pk. bhkwek.)
-tFFICE AXI EKSIPEXC E -On Second St..
Vy near Albany Engine Co. So. One'o engine
nouse.
Atlwny, Oi:.4 Jnri. 9, 1S0-v12ii13
PIis ician and Stirgeoia,
Fronianss Brick, up stairs;
First street, : Albany, Oresou.
Vl2l!l0
C. C. KELLY, !H. .,
PHTSICIA1T & S'CrnG-EOIT.
AlBASy,
BEtiU5.
f FFICE IN McII.WAIX'3 P.RICK BLOCK.
Kesidence one door north of brooui facto
ry, Lyon street. Ilvl3
JVSIUS F. W1I1T1, ARTIST,
Fresco, Sign, Scene.
ArlJ .
Iicitorial I3aintiig--
DF.SIGSIJTG A SPECIALTY.
Roomi ; and 7. Parrlfh Ulcx-k. corner First
and Ferry streets. Albany, Orosron.
C CLARti, .
aVCCERSCit TO J. B. tVYATT,
dealer In
Heavy ami Shelf Hardware,
Iron, A (eel niitl Meclinnlcn" Tools,
First door east of S. E. Young,
ALBANT, (vlln9) OREGON.
ST. CHARLES HOTEL,
ALBANY, : . OftEGOX,
Mrs. C. HouK. Pronriclor.
THIS HOUSE lins hoefi thoroughly ovoi hnul-e-1
and reno'ted. and nlneed in f!rt class
condition for the actyMnnio iiition of itsaneata.
tinarl Sninnle liooni tor Coiiimereinl Tnivolerw.
General Stnee Ollice for Corvallis. Independ
ence and Lebanon. Fret Cvneli to ntl from
. j. vflnU
j ewelers
Albany, : Oregon.
tJEGULATISG TIME-PJECES 3b REPAIF
XV ing Jewelry gspeuhclty. Call. vllnl7
Asrents for "JSe-r H me" Scwlnsr Ha
eltlnes. .
ALBANY
Alta,ny, OvcisoTi.
Tthte Second Term will open on
November lStb, 179.
8'0 FATt AS TP JA DESIRABLK TIIEEE
conrses or instruction will be pnr,"tueu in
this Irmtitute, viz : Clitwical, Scientitib and
Kormirt
A Ml Ccis of Instrncftrs.lw- teen
' For particulars concerning; course of
stady and (he price of tuition, ' y to .
, Kev. ELBERT K. C . , Prt
AuguttS, 187ivlln0
Iiiiganse of Flowers.
"In Eisem lands they talk in flowers,
A d t hey tel I in a garland t heir loves and cares:
Each flower that blooms in their ttarden bowers
On its lea ves a mystic language bears."
J.rcival.
The prettv red rose is nn emblem of "love;"
The snowball "thoughts b heaven" above :
The honeysuckle lninlies "I il renin of tliee,"
And rosemary, always, "rememlier uie."
Arliorvitre denotes "unchansinft friendship ;"
"My only hope," the -American cowslip ;
"Declare your love," savs the tulip tiee,
And juniper replies, "I live for theo."
Gloxinia tells of "lrive at fli-st sight ;"
Sweet pea totvs ''Meet me bv moonIiht ;"
Dead leaves indk-Hle "a heavy heart ;"
Variejjat ed iink, 'Forever wo part."
'Let ns be. triends." snys the tntm'ict flower.
Plum bloom SMvs.'"Keer vom word,"
And tose iferaniuiii, "Thou art preferred."
Apple bloom asks, TVilt thon be thine ?
Peach bloom replies). "My heart is thine."
The dandelion is "a gay coquette,"
And "modesty" dwells with the white violeti
?TsetWill:amsays. "I.et onr friendship end."
Snowdrop sighs sofiJyi. "l'ia not a summer
friend." -' -
BaMxm vine protoses to "Kiss and make up,"
But "ingratitude.' dwells In ,tlie--bt'jtfn butter
cup. ''
Isurrroun' dirnculties.''is the mistletoe's sung;
Woolbir.'k chorus. "I huv-i- loved Ihee long."
The li:ac ilirilSs with "iovt'i fli-st emotion,"
And heliotrope implies only "devotion."
Petunia sHys. "Tour presence soothes me ;"
Ir-e plant replies, "Your looks freeze me."
While rose whispers "Mv liewrt is free,"
And while clover ever 'ililnks ot luc."
Sensitive rose, like a pretty coquette, ... :.
fav, "Too J-oungr 10 leave my motlier yet."
"Mine through snnshipe, storm, and snows,"
Is written all over tlie perpetual rose.
Ttlue Iris brinsrs "a messa-re for vou.
Forget:me-not denoies "love"' tender and true.
Bine violet is "rtiiihfiilness ;" barelM'll "?rief :"
And passion flower happy in "religious belief."
"Our souls are one," snys the beiintlfhl phlox ;
"Constancy"' nbMes w ii h pretty dwarf box.
r "love in a cottaire" Por uincca dorh tell.
And "gratitude" Is found in Canterbury bell.
"Bonds ' is expressed by b'.ne morhinjr elory ;
"Sobllity ol e!iara ter'"b- magnolia it randifioiu.
Theaniamnth denoies "unfadinR love."
And "insiiieeiili " blights the pretty foxglove.
"True friendshi "isfound in VI nrinia stock.
"Ambiiioii'' sits hih on the briaht hollyhock.
"CoinrHssion"' attends the blee iing-heort ;
And starloi j;ea asks, "Must you depart ?"'
We And vrHetiiatlon"iilwaysin fern.
"S rapathy" in lnlm, an ! ".ifo"in lucerne.
Then (rather a wreath frb n heir-trden bowers,
And tell the wish of th ui art In dowers.
C ticato Ledger.
Political Points.
Waslibtivne, says tlie Cincinnati Commer
cial, has trie J to thtow away iU popular
ity and an't.
HtMiry AVaJter-o;i.s liVa about Tllilen
seems to lie? thnt q Is lieulti y not too
!iiilr.I.y, but jii.it !it'.-;!ti;y enough.
An excliange says llmt tlie impression is
jtoneral tlitt TiMfti liolils hoth bowers and
the peo. It poems to lie forgotten. Iiowever,
that Kelly li..Ws (lie .-joker."
Waslilmrne say Ui'.t he Is for Grant.
flr?t, last, ami all the titve, rpudmtiui; Jill
coinbiiiatioiK wisli other cHnilMntes, and
will nit be a candidate imfe ut;y circum
stances. At tilts municipal election in Indinua
polis. Intl., this fir.-t vote ever polled by a
Cbinamiin in Indiann r:is ca.-t. He was
conducted to the ballot box by a colored
man.
The Chicago Times says : '-It U quite
manifest that the two-thirds rule i to !
maintained in Cincinnati, which is in
accordance with the Tildeii programme.
If he cannot secure his own nomination he
can more readily n:ira the man.'"
The editor of a western amateur journal
having lieeii criticised by one of his con
temporaries for writing fiercely ttjion poli
ties in hi 111 tie newspaper, defends him
self by saying : "Oiit1 attacks tixm the
Democracy luive wstly hcnefitetl us witli
out materially. ii.jnring that party.."
The Presidential situation U ihns sum.
morizeil by " Gath" : -IIan.ck's pros
tect looks a little clouded foe the Demo
cratic nomination, though his friends are
sfeajfast. Bayard and .Tewett are both
supported by a considerable utimber of en
thusiastic Democrats. Field Ima no "fol
lowing that I cat! see in New York.
TTiiitmaiJ is considered a having some
chance. Tilden'a health continues to im
prove as his opponents die off."
Late lnte.
The fair and fat Isabella, ex-Queen of
pain, is expected soon In London to
make a prolonged" stay.
ilatid has resumed his own name of
Marquis of Candia. He lives in Rome.
holding a jios-t at court with a salary ot
$2 000.
Wlnfleld S. Keyris a son of Gen. Keye.
Is expected In San Francisco about the
middle of June. He Is no w hi Coloratlo.
Jenny Lind. the once famous prima
donna. Is a member of the BhcIi Society
of London, of which itei r Goldsinidt, her
It ishand. Is the condiictor.
George Aglif Sala admires the Afncr-
tCrtn railroad system. As George naveled
25.000 miles by rail In this country with
out paying a cent his enthusiasm is not re
markable.
William T. Avery,' Representative in
Congress from Ihe Memphis (Tenn.) dis
trict for two'ftyms prior to the war, was
di'-owticl by the capsizing of a boat near
Memphis recVnt'y.'
The Statesman savs ifrs. Francis A. Sis-
ino.nl' Waltsburg, is pfbnounc-d Insane
and her husband win conduct her to the
Steiiaeoom asylum.
Hawley, Wallace & Co., have got ft ten
thousand pound sae as tir as Wal'a Walla
on the wav to their bank at Dayton, and
can't. easily let the job to haul It to that
place.
LJr. August iineuu lxjniz, 1110 emi
nent esthetic writer, and professor in the
fjiiiverslty of Gottengin. Is dead.
Secretary Evarts unbends himself from
the weighty cares ot State by occasional
visits to his flue iarm In Vermont.
The German Empire has commissioned
Baron Max Maria von Weber, to visit the
United States Ails' summer, and study and
ieport npon tlie Aincrican system of In
ternal navigation and cheaper railroads.
ALBANY, OREGON JUNE
Simon Cameron does not much favor
Intelviewlng. The Boston Verald'a man
says : "To aii Interviewer he Is a tomb;''
A modern historian twfi discovered that
"good Qtifecn Anne" was very ordinary
person, cbeifly remarkable for her obstin
acy. W. W. Story, the poet-artist, is to re
ceive an order tor . a statue of the late
Trofessor Henry, of the Smithsonian lu
st tuition, to cost $15,000.
Alexandre Dumas' daughter, a Catliolld,
whose mother Is a member of the Greek
Church, is to marry Lippman, the Tartst n
banker, who Is a Hebrew.
. Bret Harte's speech at the Royal Acnilo
my was not much ot a success. He is
mucht lionized as the guest of Lord Gran
ville, the Duke of. St. . Albat i and Mr.
Fronde.' -.
- Queen Vict,orJn . l iJt jjow smatenr
draughtsman ami reprodnctions of some
bf her sketches will, soon appear. They
will be accompanied by reproductions of
some of Prince Albert's, "pictorial expres
sions." .
Senator Blaine snys that though he studied
l iw tor two-year in the office' ot one ot
the most eminent practicioners in the
Unite State3. he has never been in Court
as an littortieyj plaintiff, defendant, wit
ness or juror.
The general appropriation bill contains
a clause ' that no part pf the
appropriation shall be used to piy mar
shals and deputies for fees earned the past
year.
At the city election of Richmond Va.,
tlie conservatives had an overwhelming
majority .over the readjusteiv... while
Petersburg was carried by Hie read
lusters. !
Minnesota and Wisconsin greenhackers
have elected delegates to a national con
yent:on. Both conventions denounced tlie
imprisonment of Denis Kearlity as an out
rage. At Arcon. Penn.. while they were pre
paring torpedoes of giant powiler, one ex
ploded, and killetlaud annihilated nil con
cerned and leveled all the building in that
vicinity.
The M. "E. general conference at Cincin
nati has adjourned. Tile conduct of bish
ops was approved bishop Scott declared
non-effective and uo report iu favor ot an
Atricsu bishop.
A clerk of the librarian ot congress who
got a check cashed at fh treasury and
put the tioies in a side pocket, found so-e
thief had stolen them and put a worthless
package lit tlieir place.
Thurlow tVeed protests against the
nomination of Grant, appeals to the con
vention to sustain the anti-third term pre
ce lent, says Grant's nomination would
ruin the party, but snys he shall vote for
the candidate of the parly, . Who ever it
shall be.
The Chilians threw 200 shot t lately w ith
out any harm to speak of. In a recent
sharp light the Peruvians got the worst of
ii as tisu.il, but they h.ive got some advan
tage, in fighting on their own soil, and
the Chilians are getting ttlrlher away from
home all the time.
Bismarck says a single word from the
pope or bishops would terminate the alli
ance lietween the German socialists and
the pricsthord and it is their own fault
tiiiit. the negotiations don't succeed ; that
a ha-is if mutual tolerance is the most
fhev will ever concede to f.Uo church ot
Koine
After a battle wnding at Tactia. f? vic
!oiioii.. the Chilian government intends to
offV r peace to Porn, and if m.t victorious,
they wi!l proceed to houdmrd Cnl'ao.
Meantime the Peruvian and Ilolivian
troops are in Que condition and it looks
as it' tln-y w re beginning to get into the
spirit of :Ihs ihiujj, and il was about time
they did.
A tight occurred recently, opposite Pine
valhy 011 Snake river, between two ahite
men aikd a ptrfy of Indians, in which one
Indian was killed and one of the white
men badly wounded. The two men made
fielr . escape and alarmed tlie settlers'.'
More trouble is likely to follow.
The Idaho Statesman says the snow is
melting and going off so gradually that
the river behaves splendidly and don't get
on a destructive "boom.'
Tlie StellhC.rfni (W. T.) Express says i
"Mr. Peterson, while looking after some
stock 011 the Smith OoqrHlie River last
week, wits attacked by a panther, from
which he received serious injuries. '-Il
was o bnriljr Injured that he could 110I
get to his home until the next day, and
then could not give full detail of the en
counter from ilie fact I hat he was insen
sible lor a lime as to w'l.-tt was going on,
hut think his lite was saved only by the
timely assistance of his dog, who fought
the beast with Vengeance."
Ot all the savages tnat' I bave been
among, the Australians are the only one
who had no idea of God, or of any good
and er II spirit. They had never heard of
such a power, and their minds did not rise
to the conception of deity. , But. let me
tell yon one thing, these Mvagcs were
hsppier than by far the majority of the
people of civi!id countries. TIey might
say to' its that
"Iitnorance Is bliss .
Where lis folly to be wise.
flere.- too, we -e the magnificent black
swan, which is never seen Iu titif ' oilter
country, and until It was discovered lirre.
was unknown to both anrfenta and mod
erns,.. When Juvenal wanted to tiescrllie
anything rare or Impossible, he exclaims :
"Kara avis In tcrrU ntgroque simlllima
cygno." v .
A black swan was, in the conception of
the great satirist, an impossible erea'ttrre.
The New York Time sjfys i 'A whole
sale grocer . in this city, who became sud
denly rich in bu-dnessy says his rule has al
ways been when he has sold goods on credit
to at once subscribe to tbelocal paper 01 hfs
debtor. -So lonjr as his debtor advertised
liberally and vigorously fie rested j but
as sooti as he began to contract fii's adver
tising space, he took the fiv.-t ai e tide nee
that there was trouble ahead, and he fi
variably went to Ms debtor eiald' ie,"flie
man who. gets lott poor to tur.lie "his bnsl
ness known Is too poci to do biisliieja,
Tlie wlthrlrawal of an advertisement is
evidence of weakness that business Tnda
arc not slow to act tqiou."'
1 1 1880;
A Sew Tork OrpUan.
Otie of the little lambs picked up in the
streets of New York by WMtelaw Reid
and sent Went to find a home was adopt
ed by a Detroit family about tnro months
ago, and ere this is published Mr. Reid
lies received a big postal card announcing
thai his dear Iamb has gone West to fight
the Indians, and that he needn't mind
about sending on another to take his
place. .
This New York Iamb was 13 years old.
He said so at the depot on bis airival, anJ
half an hour later he r3 iterated ihe state
ment at the house, and added :'
"And It you don't believe It, then call
me a liar ! That's the sort of a spring
gUn I am, and don't you forget it."
1'liey didn't forget it. He gave them
iioelnmce to. He ate. -with his Augers,
wiped his tnoutb on lite sleeve, and gave
the family to understand tie fore supper
Was over that he didn't come West to
have his hah combed or his faco washed as
a regular business. On Ids first evening
he slipped out, had three fights and stole a
dog, and w heu hunted up he was about to
take his beer in a saloon.
The family expected lo wrestle with the
boy for awhile, and they didn't sit down
on him until .t become a painful necessity.
During his first week he stole $3 In money.
a gold chain, a revolver, and a pair of
earrings, and he got drunk twice. When
reasoned with and asked to do better, lie
took a fresh chew of a plug of tobacco and
replied :
"Oh ! you Michigan folks are too soft !
If a teller can't have a good time, what's
these of being an orphan ?"
Oil Monday of the second week he sold
the family dog to a stranger for a quarter,
threw the saw and ax Into the alley, and
when locked up in a closet he tore h Sun
day coat to pieces. It was thought best
to have a policeman talk to him. and was
called in. lie put on his fiercest look, and
lectured the Iamb fur fifteen minutes, but
as soon as he stopped tor breath the young
sinner replied :
"Xow see here, old buttons, you are
wasting time ill know my little gait, I
do, and if you thick I've couie to a vil
lage like ihi9 to be buffed by anybody,
you've missed your tralu !"
He was taken to Sunday school by the
hand. He hadn't been there halt an hour
when he was taken out by the collar. He
seemed anxl us to punch the head of every
good little boy within halt a mile of him,
and he told the teacher of his class that
when she could stuff Moses in tiie bulrushes
down him it would be after she had
bleached out her freckles. They gave him
a Sunday school book to fit bis case, but
he fitted it to a crack in the sidewalk on
h!way home.!
Wdien moral; suasion bad no effect on
the V icked youth, his guardian tried the
rod. He was bigger than the boy, and he
walloped him, but within three hours two
ot the nuts were taken off his buggy and
thrown away, j There wal a secdnd seance
in the woodshed, ' and before datk a
window glass- worth eight dollars was
btoken. j
That orphan was faithfully and duly
and presistcntly wrestled with. He Was
cotxed and flattered. He was licked and
reasoned with, j Ambition, gratitude, fear
and avarice were aliki appealed to in torn,
but as he was the first (lay so he was the
!ait. A few days ago he was told that he
would lie sent to the reform school at
Lanstng. If there was any further trouble
with him. That night he stole $0 of the
cook, a butcher kir.fe from the pantry, a
pie from the sideboard, and departed from
the house, letvlng on his bed a note read
ing as follows : -
This ihowii ar no place for a Xew
York orfun. I'm goin out on the planes
to fite Injuns. It will be useless to toiler
me, fiir I can't be took Alive V Detroit
Free I res.
The Henroe Deetrlne.
The Burlington Hawkeye man thus
expatiates on the Monroe doctrine : "Tlie
Monroe doctrine, simply and erplicitly
declares that foreign nations shall not
come over here; ami silde down our "cellar
door ; that England and France shall not
hitng on our front gate to do their court
ing ; that they can't bring over llielr
syrup-pots and eldersprouts and make
sugaf In Our maple grove ; that Germany
and Austria can't spot no bee tree !n our
woods ; that Italy can't cut her firewood
out of our hedge raws ; that Russia can't
spank her neighbors' children with - our
btiftef paddle: Tlie Monroe doctrine
simply means that we are the bull Of the
wools between two oceans, and that the
nrtn who joins; farms with tu on either
side had better not move the boundary
fence until he talks to us about it, and
tliat be can't sublet a patch of his form to
anybody nnfil We are satisfied that the
new ten tut will make a good neighbor for
us That's abotrt all there is of lb .
"Sir,"' ronrni a man, out In .Xebnuka,
striding up to a riefghrW, "Sir, jon are a
nar.' j
"I ani f" exclaVmetf the- astonUlted.
neighbor. "How do yo'fi know I am V
'Because I j know it because I have
found it out !"
'How long have you been Jiving lie re
"Six weeks."
Neighbor, j tranquilly, nodding his
head t ... : j
'Oh, well, probably yoo lo know It
then. I didn't think you had been In
town so Jong ?' ,
.-There was. up fight,'
TTionglit.
serious, it
And yet, though serious, it may be
profitable. " Nigh on to a quarter of a
century ago it was during the summer
of 1858 I occasionally ateuded week-day
evening religious meetings "conference
meetings," we called them in a small
Church on West Thirty-sixth street, New
York. The lesson of one of those even
ings, with subsequent events, lelt au im
pression on my mind that can never be
dimmed while life and sense are left me.
A pale-cheeked, bollow-fuced man arose
In his place and.offercd a few thoughts on
the subject of tlie value of a faith, firm and
abiding, in a future life. He bad but a
short time to live he felt it keenly but
he felt, also, that he was willing to go
when the time should . come. He closed
by saying that It would add to li peace,
and comfort t," lie - .cqJC Aellce UiatrJie
had the prsy sf s of W friends there present
in his behalf.
Ne&t after htm arose a man whose
presence was a "thing of beauty"--a man
lot yet at middle age ; healthful and
robust ; with eyes bright and clear ; skin
like a child's ; cheeks plump and rosy H
standing full six feet hi height, and turn
ing the scales at very near two hundred.
He was by trade a builder ; and hever
used tobacco nor ardent spirits j.and,.he
was happy to declare, had neVer known
an hour of sickness in his life. His grip
was like iron, and his step as firm as the
broad-based mountain. I can never forget
his opening words. Said he, with a
glance towards the Invalid who bad just
reMfnet! his seat :
"The w.irds of the brother should be
heeded by all of us. He is weak and ail
ing ; I am strong and well i yet, who
8liall say which of us may be called first to
pass the shadowy vale !" And then he'
went on, in plain and homely language, to
give the lesson he would impress upon the
minds of those who heard htm. And the
lesson was this : 'Be ye therefore ready,
also ; for the. Son of Man Cometh at an
hour when ye think riot."
On tlie even of the very next day our
good pastor called upon me, and informed
me tliat brother S was dead. During
the early pate of tlie day, while giving
directions to his .worljinen, audi assisting
iu laying the upper- floor-timbers iff a
building be was erecting, he missed hfs
footing and fell to the cellar bottom, killing
IiIim instantly.
And he had been the strong, vigorous,
healthful man ol the preceding evening
the man who. though he had never known
an hour of sickness, yet t! o ght f haying
hi- h us in readiness ! Anil t e - a'e-faced,
hollow cheeked man wailing so patiently
the summons, I met, still clothed lu the
flesh, ten years later.
No the lesson ol that evening enforced
by the event of the following day, is not
to be forgotten. Nor would I be willing
to forget it. Amid the. changeful scenes
of life in joy and In sorrow in. success
and in adversity at ail times. Bud alws.ys,
tt must be a gratifying sense lo be able
to fuel that "our house is in order, and
the spirit willing" tor the great transition.
Mot atarli or m Lots.
A young lady went to a drugstore. Mon
day, located not ft hundred miles from the
market house, and had a prescription made
up.
"How much ?" inquired the lady.
"Fifty ceiits," said the clerk.
'But I have only lorty-flve cents wlih
me," replied the customer ; "can't you let
me have it for that ?"
"No ma'am,'" said the clerk, but you
can pay me the five cents when you come
in again." ,. ,
"But suppose I were to die ?44said the
lady jocularly.
"Well, it wouldn't be a very great loss,
was the smiling response.,
And Immediately (110 Innocent clerk
gathered from the indignant flash on the
lady's face, that he had been misunder
stood, and before he could assure bet that
it was the Mttle balance and not her that
would be no great loss, she had bounced
out at ft go-as-you-please gait, aud was
beyond the sound of his voice.
G. Mulzot, while on a visit to Lord Aber
deen, in Scotland, was talking to him in
the park one day about the English sysfehl
of elections, wlien his host stopped before
a modest cottage. Thfs.IHtIe howse," he
said, "recalls to'me a' sTiamclul deed In
my political Hie.'' "Wlrat, an act of vio
lence ?" "Yon shall hear. I bad as ten
ni iro sn inuepenueni leuow. Who an-
noywi tne horribly, in every tslet tlor. he
srremiously Opposeil me.' K made np my
mind to be rid of . him." "Ha I you turn-
eu mm outr" . "jno. i reduced Ms rent
hf a gniiift, and destroyed hfe qaallfioation
A mean trick and IVe always been asfiatrt-
rd of it. ' - ' '
Wlien Wnrrting at midnight is ended.
And he stands with his hat in his fist,
While she lovingly lingers beside him.
To bid him "ta-ta !" and he kissed.
How busy the thoughts of tho future
Yotf bet. yon hi thoughts he don't
speak
. lie Is wondering how they can manage
To live on twelve dollars a week.
A lady tells something which ought to
have remained a secret with her sex. It
is, that a woman fu' choosing a lover, con
siders a good deal more liow the man will
be regard-id by -oilier women than whether
she loves him herself. f
' 'You're a man after my own heart,'
as the blushing maiden confessed when
her lover pfoposotl marriage.
A (fealoaa
NO. 3?.
' - Ilia Telettisi. " '"-i .."
"I guess I haf to give up my dalrphoees
already," said an' old citizen ot Gratltl
avenue yesterday as he entered the offlk
of the company witb a very lone; face.
"Why, what's the matter now f" .
"Oh ! eferytlngs. I got dot de!epboo
ln mine house so as I could spbeak Kin
der poys In der saloon down town,aBi.
uilt my relations In Sprlngwells; hilt X bzt
to git It up. i neter haf so much troubls - '
: "How?" ; - Y!,:-:. .
"Vhell, my poy Shbtf, In der saloon, ti
ring? der pell ut.d ealu mo oop and sarji
au old frent of mine vhants to fee Low.
she work.' Dot IsU. all. flght-i If ,ay i
'Hello V und hs says i Cbm closer, A
ghoe closer and helloes ra'ga1b,: Dei: JU
says, 'Shta.nd mthj ofC' nwj : t auedal-r
attle'off.iiud yells vtiDaeRioro, tuat fe4&
says.v rshpeak toiidrg6e tjajr'i'
for ten minutes, und detf he4 aajs f "Oa
to Texas, you old dutchma'a f" : Yasr
see?'; - - . . . ,.
;"Yes.'t . ..v. . . - ...v"
.."Antl den meln brudder, in Sprlngwalli- ;
he rings de pell and calls irie oop und saj-tfc
how l vhaadloh ifiuf I says i yahsU
feeling -like some colts, uad h aaya i -. :
Whovhant, to puy some goats fV I .
says : 'Colts colts colts P ' and be an- .
swers : 'Oh ! coaU. I thought you sakjt .
goats !' , Vheo.I goes to ,asn; him of bv -feels
petter I hears a voice crying oudU
Vh it Dutch macs lsh dot on dia line
Den somebody answers, I
Uoan't kn.w. .
but 1 likes to punch his
head!' Ym
see P" . .
"Yes." - '
"Vhell, somdimes my vhite vhantl
spbeak mit me vhen I am down lu tier '
saloon. She rings mein pell and I says, -'Hello
I. ; Nopody spiicaks tu iavr SHifs
rings again, und. I says .'Hello !' like
d.nmlerl Pen de,r central, officer; tells, tni.
go aheadt, und den tells mein; vhlfe dot t
am gone avtiay. I yells ,oudt, dpt isb uo
so, iind somepody says, 'How can I talk it
dot old Dutchman don't keep athUl f
You see P" . .
"Yes." ' '
"And when I gTti In bed t at night,
somepody tings, der pell llko der bouse va
on fire, und vheu I shnniped oudt . and
says he!lo, 1 hear somepody saylug
'Kaiser, doan't you vant to puy ar dogr' ' .
I yhants 110 dog, und veil I fells 'eta so,
hear some peoples laughing, 'Haw ! haw
haw !' You see ?" '
- "Yes." '
"Uud so you dake it In oudt,' And Yhea
somebody likes to speak mlt me dey shall;'
come right avhsy q . miuo saloou. - O of.
uiein brudder ish sick ho shall git petter,
und if somepody vhants to puy me a dogj
he shal'. come vhere I can puuch him mis
a ghib!"
Pressure f tbe Brain.
An American medical man was culled
one day to see a youth aged eighteen, who'
had been struck down insensible by the "'
kick of a horse. There jsvas, a depressed
fracture of the skull back! ot tlie left;
temp!e. The skull was trephined ai.tf
the loose fragments of bone that pressed,
upon the brain were removed, whercupod
the patient came to his sense. Tlie doctor
thought it a good opportunity to make ao . -experiment
as there was a bole in the)
skull through which he could easily make)
pressure on the brain. lie asked the. bo
a question, and before there was time to
answer it he pressed firmly with his finger' '
upon the exposed brain. .f As long as tbe
pressure was kept up tbe boy was mute,
but the instant it was removed he made i 'A
reply, never suspecthig be bad not answttj. )
ed at once. , The. experiment jras re past
ed several times with precisely the sataet
result, the boy's tlioughts being stoppej
and started again on, each occasion as '
easily and certainly as the engineer starW .
and stops his locomotive. Ppjmar Scte
Montlily.
How am Arab IVatljr FerfbssMs.
In tbe floor of the tent or hut, as It may .
chance to be, a small hole is excavated
sufficiently larg to contain a common
champagne bottle ft fire of charcoal fjr.o, .
sinily glowing , embers Is -made ttMp ''
the bole, Into which tlie. woman about to '
be scented throws a . handful", of drus. ,
Site then takes off the cloth or 'tope' "
Which forms her dress and crouelies nakedt
over tlie fumes, while slie arranges her
robe to fall over, ber as a1 mantle fro-a her'
neck to the ground like a" ten She noW'
begins to perspire freely. In the hot-Si
and tho pors of the skin betng' thus open-"
ed and moist,;, the volatile oil rrom th
smoke ot the burning perfumes is Immedl
ately absorbed. By the time that the .fire '
has expired the saentliig process hi comp kt-'
ed and both her person and hef "robe nr
redbdent with Incense, witb whltfj they ar-j
so thoroughly impregnated' that I bare '
frequently smelt a party pf women tr--.
ly at full a bundled yards dietanca
wee ft;
the wind has been blowing from
direction. Sir William Baker!
Baron De Lesseps' lecture on hi reiiiMi!
to Paris was remarkable ene. H t
a magic lantern which-xhlilited rh-:tt
everything from tbe coast ofFana-r-Ji t j a
New York ferryboat. , "Do you ir4, 1
hint," he asked, "thatie Pana-na car.al
route runs tnrongn an mnvc-ithy coiuitrr F
Ioofc here ." and ho rrt -f 1
audfeiice a dark-eyott," laiv." 7" - '
p Panama angel, whom one tit
engineers had married,
that an unhealthy com
"Do y. .
ry Ca 3 r
.
such beings as this ?"
applauded to the ecli-j-.
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