The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, March 19, 1880, Image 1

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NO. 25 .
airsrizss cards.
33L323S53P 3E"CTJ3ElL
Oa this Space Four "STeeks.
. . x
Coming !
X. B. HCMPHIiEY, Agent.
his friends and the public generally, that
is now nettled in his
on the old stand next door to P. C. Harper Co ,
when can he found as great an ns.sori.uent and
a large a stock of
Stoves and Eanges
a. can be found in any one house this side of
Portland, and at as
UTrtipa tto ripes,
CusUroii, BniM&Gnainiled
in great variety. Also,
Sheet Iron,
-Ualranizeil Iron,
tjw'avi on hand, and madvi to order, AT I.IV
O-CixA Oil JL-TTT..
Albany. October 23. 187V5VS
Comer First ani SSiisurertli sts.,
Am ax v, onECor.
iras asaln taken charge of the
City Drug Store,
bavin? purchased the en tiro i-itcrest of C. W
Shaw, successor to A. Cat-others .S Co , ana is
now receiving a
Splendid 17ov Stock,
which, added to the former, renders it very
complete in all the different denarrtiients.
reeling assured that all ca:t be suited in both
Quality 'aacL Pries,
fee eordlaltv Invites Ins old friends art J custom
feint to give'hira a call.
Will receive immediate and careful attention
at oil ttonrs, day anil ullil.
Turo WincB au J Liquors for inediciiia
Oot.SG. nT7-5v,10
city ivxAifciiisT :
First street, 3 doors west of Ferry,
tf"ATIXO tmrclMV.1 the Vitv Markcl. I will
XX keep constantly on han.Uil kin Isof Mi iiis
very oast to bu O.Maine I in the market.
I will strive at all times to meet the wishes of
all who may favor me with their
The public xene ally nre invited to call at my
hop when In want of meats. &&"'t he highest
Sash price nai l for PORK.. ilvlGMS
KeW Uoodt t iiluriurc !
" MRS. O. L. l?AltIvS.
fitnra latclv owned bv Mrs. C f. Invis hi1
having fast added thereto a new invoice of late
C2ioiC9 Hilliasry, Trimming,
ilAnmnta. Hats. Ac. takes nlcasu re in inviting
the ladies of Albany and vicinity to call a-td
Inspect for 1 nemseiye, -fiJi koouh win ue oiu
at prices mat ueiy comiirtn tim.
Having secured the service of a first class
Drefssmalier J
timnrrntroltncot. At.and mnke diwwin
any style desired, at short notice and In a satis
factory manner. . . - ...
l-dir3iktnz Mf Ulnar for children asnecinlty
Store on norttl side of .First, east of Ellsworth
trW You .re Invited tocau PARKS,
' il. IS79;
A Surc'shot For
XJ tho Indian Tribe oT f M eoitr and t he inte-
rimr.I hare had tlie oo I rortnne to niseover,
from the "Medielite" men of the several tribes,
Jtnd Jrorrt oilier aonr'ces. a number oi remedies
i dismast; Incident to this country, conlst
ri? of roots. Herbs and baric, fini. having been
foltoited by trttn v peonle of.thtS valley, who
nave tried ami proved the efttmcv of them in
alsease, to procure and ottVr I he same for stile.
J. take this moans of announcing to ail tlia,
during the past season, I have ma lean axtend
Slusir tbronih tile mountain- and valleys,
and have men red certain of these remedies
which are a sure cure for (
Fever and Aue.
i'hose giilTerlnar from Aorne wlto desire to bo
ftireJ.cin.leave orders a' Mr. strong's store on
irst street, where will furnish thH n-me'ties.
warrsiaiuiit a radical cure orl will demand no
he. W. J41I.
.Tsmedics done n'p in tl packttjfes. 12-1
a "-untu and exiwnsesstuaranteed to Asjts
Lrauzl trixi 8aw Co., Augusta. Maine
V.. Fl-IXJi. O. K. CII.VUUKHX.A12".
Attorneys lit Law,
ALE Ay 1', . OJxEGOy.
OK PICK- In Foster's lien- brick block, tlrst
door to Ihe lett, up -lairs. vllnl?
rowjjZL t& BILYJJU,
Attorneys nt l.tuv ami Solicitors
in Clmneei-y.
COLLECTIONS nt-oinntlv nuule on all )xints.
l.ouus ltcyottuftHl in rt'ti-Hiiiabie terms.
Oflice in Foster's new block. 11
3. Si.. H'UATZaEiiroUD,
Attorney at Ta.w9
ALBANY, : : Oiii.nvA.
"T courttf tile Siate. SH.'clui :it it-uiiou iv
en to co.lcc; ioits Htul pi'.baic niiiticri. tn-ie'K
In Odd Fellows' Temple. n47vlo
. It. X. ISI. V SiUUtX,
ai.iiasv, ; : ns:;t:ox.
business. 2v
k. b. lti Mi'iiirty. r. e lvpbto.
Eiuiiipnrey & Wolverton,
AUriej s llllii 4 oililhc3ot'! nt
" ot lln'iiit!. tiFKH t lu I I'otuaii V Hi u k
(upstairsi Albany, Urcmi.
Li. El. JiOXTASlE,
Attoi'ney u t, T.a"W,
"FFICK l'n ste.irs, over John Brig;js s'ore.
v-' on i list strtvi. vii;iit
Attorney and Counselor at L,aiv.
Qtce, Ohl Puit O&x nail-Mng, Albany, Oregon.
Tir.L PRAt.'TICE in the didV-rcnt Courts of
the Suite. vllnii
I, 31. COSIilV,
OFFICE -in Punish niock, north tide First
it )'!. A 1 ltl 1 . lllt"M.'!l.
Alt business pn'ii.jtl mi J c-iirelully nt tended
to. " Villi..'.'
2f osnifoimtitie I'lijAii-iau anU S.::i fcosi,
OFFICE -In rnri'Mi'- ' l'i 'k. Albany. Oregon.
Chronic disest-H- a Hp c .' y. Can lie t:un-.i
mv o.iice at ao ht'iir.- i:e slfy or nt-ilit.
when not inotc-sio.u.ily absent. vKiilo
(SUCCFSHl.i: To I1
Fl'.KV, CF..S
r -X FFIv
J near Ai.wav Liuinc L'ti. No. Oiic'd engine
AUjrttiy, Or., Jan. 9, lixo-vlinli
O "f T f TT 'i f. T1 "F ?
Pkyssciaai assd S:srgeoia.
Froniuns's Ri:ck, up stniis,
First sir.-t-t.
Aii;aij, :f;on.
C. C. EiEiSlV, 31. !.,
P2.YSI01AW s Bra&SOlT.
imiaxt, s m:u?i.
lt.-.-i l.'ticc.-oi.c. door no. th ol broom "-: o
rv. Lyon street.
U. W. BAI.LABD, M. D. ' J- M- rt-WlLl., M. D.
P.iysicians & Sarseons,
0?FlCF--At Lebanon Urns Store. 12n2
Fresco, Sign, Scene.
Pictorial lsxintiisg-.
Rooms i and 7, Pun ish block. corner First
and Ferry ftreets, Albany, Oregon.
ooIer in
Heavy and Sliwlf Hardware,
Iron, Kterl ana JI-eImnlri Tools,
First door mst ol" t. E. Younar,
ACBAXr, (vlln4Ul OREGON.
ST. CHARLES hotel,
!rs. r. lionk, .Proprietor.
THIS HOI'S E 1 in been thotouably overlmul
vd and retioviiled. and nlnced in first c:uss
condition for ' he aeeoiunin bit ion of itssnests.
l-iood Ssimnle RrHiiii ior 1 tomiiierein! Travtlers.
Oeneral S'li-e Olllee lor (-orvalli. Indenend
eneeahd 1-elianon. I re t'sarh to and fi u
the tioMe. v 1 1 nt'j
Albany, : Oregon.
ing Jewen-y a uiecialty. Cull. vllnH
Ajft'Mts for "Atw II me" Senin)r !uta
Qififfi eek in yonr own town. $! outfit free.
UU.Vo fink. Icettiier. it vou wttnt R biisiness
tit. which persons of eit her sex can uiukexreat
pay all I he time when they work, write for par
UcuIhjV. H. Haxlett A Co., Portland, Me.
Wanted n llnsbnutl.
A Detroiter who was out in tlie
couidry il;e ether lay to look after
ftune potrtry got stuck in a toutl liolpj
alihotiiih liavinir a light bnogy ami a
tdrono; liorse. lie got out, took a rail
ntfllie fei ce, ami was tryin to pry tl.e
velticle out, when aions; came a strap-
r'"S young laly about twenty-six j-ears
of fige. She halted, surveyed the sUtia
t ion, anil sa:d:
"You stand l3' tlie horse while I
heave on the rail, ami don't be afraid of
Jetliner, mud on yonr hands and bouts."
Their uniicd efforts released the ve
hicle ami the Detroiter returned thanks
and asked Iter to ret in and ride. She
hesitated, kked up and dowu the road,
and finally paid:
"Stranger, I arublunt spoken. Who
are you?"
He nave his tiiime and residence, ftnd
she continued:
' I'm over twenty-five, woilh 55 0
in cash, know all about housework, and
this is leap year."
'Yes-, I know, but tir heaven's sake
don't ask tne to many you!" he replied,
as he raw the drift.
"See here!" rhe continued, looking
him square in the eje, "I wear a No. 7
shoe and like the looks of yon.''
"Yes, but don't don't talk that
way to , mi-!"
"Stranger, it's leap year and I'm go
ing to pop. Will you l ave nie or nit?"
"I I I'm already married," he
fullered. ;
"Honest It jitli?'
"Well that settles mc and I won't
ride. I'll takf a cut across the field
over to old Syooncv's. He's got four
sons and a fool nephew, and I'll begin
on the old man and pop the crowd
char down to the Idiot, for I've slum
mixed fii'oiitid the wot Id just as lono a-
I'm going to.
Good-bv, sir; no
.ritrnftl t'Ai nitl n
.Mrs. Augusts V.
Kiliot (- la- or )
' ' - J
year ago, a cit 13 y
has heei y rfieted
ed pussv will 1i&H'j
l.-w hlowly orq i'u'Y
aronti: the io.iu .
dance, I urn sotnersjf
motions tit hii' I in A
tnoui h with ene
it wild the ol!-, iA.
to spetik, kiss heV
a saner of milk i i ,.
lap the milk, and '-infly
feet and with her f-re Jia.
of bread or meat thrown tV
t.. . ..!! ..t II. U,n,..
ohl, will turn forrier.-aulis. Tite
lady hs a liPn which always wipes he- i
feet on the mat on entering the house,
at.d it asked, "How. do y-ui get your
tiling, Bihlj?' will scratch on the
rloor, look to see if she has scratched
out anything, and then loi-k at t'le
questioner to see if the answer is cor.
feci. The hen despises the wooden,
chalk and porcelain cheats which Som
neople palm off on hens fbr nest-eg;s,
tumbling them out of her nest as often
as they are put in. A rooster will also
scratch the rloor when asked bow he
gets his living, but caniidt lie made t
flrijje his feed.
He Understood Addition.
There is a venerable a'yid lienevolent
Judge in one ot I he Paris tribunals who
at the moment of passing sentence on a
prisoner consults his assessors on each
side f him as to the penalty to be in
flicted. ''Yhat ought we tcgivp this rascal,
brother?" he says bending over to the
assessor on the tight.
"I should say three years." j
'"What is youf opinion, brdther?" to
the assessor on tlie left !"
"I should give him four years."
The Judge (with benevolence)
--Prisoner, not desiifng to sentence 3oti
to a long ttfrii of imprisonment, as I
would have done were I left 10 Ihyself,
I have consulted rny learned brothers
and shall take their advice. Seven
years. -
The New York Times urge that
some piactical use be made of Alaska,
by giving it a suitable form of" govern
ment, protecting its civilized Js.pula
tiou Rod foslering its great naiural
resotirces. IVIillions of money "lie dor
mant in the furs and fisheries of Alaska.
AH that is required fo develop tlie
we llh of the new Terfittrry s( pro'.ec
tioi for the enterpfising classes who
would gladly go there.
A Sen i.-me.
An eccentric poet, who died long ago,
is related by the correspondent of a
French paper to have invented, in corn,
party with another l-'olierriiau genius of
a similar type, a game of a decidedly
original, and, probably, of a most ex-,
citing character. The peculiarity of it
was that it could be played not only by
the mo.t impecunious person, but even
by those who had no chance of eyer
having any, except by accident. The
principle was also such'as enabled the
player to dispense to a great extent with
all such adventitious means and appli
ances as chessman, draughts, cards or
dice, and to make all their daily walks
abroad a part of the prolonged entei
tainment, tho loser, instead ot paying
upon the spot, which he was genarally
quite unable to do, forfeited to the other
a certain street, or a certain cafe or
theater, or other plai e of resort, and the
rule was that whenever the winner met
him at this particular place he a
rioht to search his pockets and extract
all money that might be i:i therri at the
time. Hy d'-uiees the vatious streets
became monopolized in turn by one or
the other gambler, so that the progress
of each otthem through tliecitv became
a perpetual risk, and as soon as either
be ja trie the fortuitous possessor of a Si"l.l
piece or a note, he tu,k tlie greatest
pains to avo:d trespassing OI1 t.o regions
which he had "lost." To tlie original
game thus arranged were added also
other refinement", such as the winning
and losing of fine and wet davs, and
fro.-ty and snowy weather, of town and
country, and at last even of day and
night, so that lite chances ot loss and
uain were augiimented to the utmont.
ami the walking cxeieke ot the two
v:amesters wa- convened into a sui t of
untiring game f hide and seek.
tot ered
and pistols
t. .-. . t.. I he riasii of the
lantern lit on the cat, woiking away in
dead ean.e-t, "Goodness me! why,
w hat is that ?" asked the proprietor
"Uy hoky poky, 'tis the cat," readily
responded the officer. The cat, in the
meanwhile, seeing a way ot escape. :an
out tho door, and order was cutce more
restored is the house. Philadelphia
A fioy'a Prcst-nce ol Sllnd.
Adojph Heal has a stock-ranch on the
Marline?, ten miles east ot San Antonio,
Texas. Mr. lieal has a nine-year old
s-.ii whose name is Jmil. Three days
ago Emiljaconmpanied by his little dog,
went into the timber on the creek hunt
ing cotton-tail rabb ts. In a short time
t he little dog chased a rabbit into a hol
low tiee and sat down at the hole to
inform ins master by barking. When
Emtl arrived at the tree he thrust his
hand into the hollow, but, instantly
groaning with pain, withdrew it, hav
ing in the hist, of his index finger
the unmistakable-wounds uf the fangs
of a rattlesnake. The child did not rly
off shrieking, but at once drew out his
jack-knite and splitting the end of his
fifiger Continued sucking it until nearly
all the veiiom was drawn out. The
next morning Mr. lieal, armed with an
ax, went to the tree and on cutting out
a big chip found a full-grown specimen
of the ten ible fcrolalus, with five ra ties,
still "holding the tort," while the ter
rified rabbit, which had crawled up
the hollow past thn snake, was stitl
there. Philadelphia Times.
It is said that Edison's light will
barn under water as well as above it,
and there is' no longer any need of feel
ing croutid In the dark for fish.
To nentralize the sting of a gnat or
mosquito rub the part aflected ' with a
ceruttoGu that is, tho wax ot tba ear.
A Curious Flail.
The Montevidvjj Harbor Improve
ment Company have had a carious
slice of luck. In the course of their
operations in dredgii g the harbor of
Montevideo they have raised two in
gots, which at first were believed to be
of iron, but one of the snilors, in clean
ing off the shells which covered them,
discovered that they were two bars o'
silver, each ot seventy pounds weight"
On cue of them inscription? were found
which were much effaced, but the marks
oc and yn, and the dale 1772, were still
legible. There is no doubt that these
ingots formed partot the treasure which
the Spanish galleon- Aurora took from
Chile in 1772, and which, according to
the historian Lozan, was lost in this
port opposite the powder magazine dur
ing the frightful storm of August 10th
in that year. As it is probable that in
this spot there would he other remains
of these lieastires which have been hid
den during a century, the dredging
company have arranged with divers,
who will mase blither researches under
the of the Procurator
Fiscal on the part of the Montevidean
Government, who are entitled to ltalf
the proceeds. Tlie f pot where the dis
covery has been made is thtee hundred
yards to the southeast ot the rocks in
the bay cal'ed Piedras ie St. Pedros.
Boston Ti'anncripl.
A t'ato TrieJi.
A Canadian defaulter playcM a cute
nick. Having st-den and skipped' whb
0,000 which was entrusted to him in
the double capacity of post-master and
telegram operator, he stopped at a
country village and steppad into the
telegraph oJlice. There he heard i!e
message curio over, "robber escaped."
The operator was a girl, and he told
her he was a repairer sent hj the tele
graph cntiupaiiy. She asked him to help
her, as the wires were out of repair.
So lie to:ic the mes-Hiie in full, but in
stead of copying it out, invented Ptnl
-ubsiit'tted one, saying that the lhie
Vs coming thai way and would try tu
himself off for a dulectitc in pur-
1 -t lie thief. Then he lit tmt again
'r,:sed the lino settling in the
States. Meanwhile, tbc pursti
tective, who never caiight jiim,
resied and trotted around the
for tlie people to look it as the
ef. till the robbed man came up
'eased him. Boston 2'imcs,
A I!i'in:irkable Kesetie.
ve la Is. who had been playing on
he English coast near Plvmouth a", low
tide, entered a cave in the ruck and re-
maiticd there unobservant of the rising
tide until they discovered that it was
impossible for them V eseane bom their
prison. They screamed and shouted,
vhile the swift waiers, driven by a
tierce gale, rushed in higher. Ilun
dieds of people, attracted by the pieic
mg cries.congiegated on the rock above,
tmt they could do nothing. No boat
Could liie in thrj boiling siirf, and all
looked helplessly on, until two seafar
ing men George Andrews and Thomas
Penny offered to attempt a rescue.
They were fastened to ropes, lowered
over the precipitous crsgs, and, allow
ing themselves to be washed into the
cave by the sea, succeeded ic rescuing
one boy. This hazardous opera; ion
was continued until tho five were landed
on the rocks above. Pall Mall Ga
zette. Havana Clears or Piipsr.
Havana cigars are likely to advance
in price for a rather odd reason. Since
last October straw paper has gone up
75 per cent, and it is a fact that many
of the so-called Havana cigars are made
from this article, which is manufactured
chiefly in New York State. The straw
paper is taken to Cuba saturated in a
dccction made from tho stems ami
refuse of the choice Havana seed leaf,
and when properly treated with flavor
ing extracts, licorice root, senna; etc.j
makes a filling for cigars. Hesides, it
burns with a pure white ash precisely
like that of the genuine leaf, unlike that
yielded by any other 'material. Speci
mens: of prepared paper seen in New
York are described as" closely resemb
ling the leaf in appearance, taste and
flavor. Philadelphia Times.
- ' mid '
In old limes it used to be the brother
who was feared, bill now it is the by;
sister wearing a Derby hat; ulster coat
and tarrying an emaciated umbrella.
No relerenre to ladies in this vicinity.
He who Alls, to take a kiss,
Has Mr. thing ho should uot Sites.
The Japanese have started a rail
lactory at Osaka, and it is said that
nails made there are as good as those
The metric system has its opponents
even in France. A writer in a recent
number of Bes 2ondes vehemently
denounces it.
A railway company in Italy lately ad
vertised tor lOOO servants at 1.8 francs
(36 cents) a day, and 28,000 applica
tions were received.
An effort is making to secure tele
graphic communication between Paris
and tlie principal cities ot France by a
system of underground wires.
According to official statistics, 16,-
727.009 stamps were affixed to patent
medicines in England during the last
financial year, yielding a revenue to
the Government of nearly $70"3,ht?(?
The ATature says that the ascent of
Mount- Ilecla was made last summer
by Miss Th Peturss-Jii, daughter of
the Iiishop of Reykjavik, for the pur
pose of geological investigation. Her
rep- rt of the condition of the larger
craters indicated that an eruption on a
grand sca'e was impending.
Fe .v weeks ago 20 members of the
Scottish Food Uetorm Society sat down
to a repast consisting of six courses,
namely, lentil and parsley soup, haricot
bean pies, haiicot-boan omelettes with
sailed, hominy jr.idding, pearlmcal
pudding ami tapioca and apples, all of
which exclusive of cooking, cost at the
rale ofSJd. (7 cents) per heal.
To dilute hay rum use dilute spirit
instead of water. When water is used
the combination assumes a milky-white
appearance and is utterly devoid of the
usual odor given out by good bay rum
This i- due chiefly to the insolubility -in
varer ot the essential oils contained in
the spirit. Hay rnm, when applied
moderately to the hair without reduc
ing, is not injurious.
James Croli concludes that "the true
temperature ot the sun is not very
different from its effective temperature,
and that it is not much les than 10,
000 degrees if we only consider the
abru ption of the terrestrial atmosphere,
nor much more than 20 000 degrees il
we lake into consideration tlie absorp
tion by the solar atmosphere, estima
ting the latter a SS 1 of the total radia
tion ot the sun."
C. A. Ashbu- ncr is the authority for
the statement that since the discovery
of pe rolenin by Colonel Drake, in
'SaD, Pe.uisylva tia had produced tip
to i he cud ot 1873 not less than 132-
202.039 barrels ot crude oil, valued at
340,709X72. His theory of Hie origin
of thecal is that the oil lands are the
mere reservoirs which contain the pro
duct of the decomposition of vegetable
and animal l.fe ot tITe Devonian epoch.
An Iowa husband furnished his
wife $50 to by a silk dress, but in
stead of so doing she put the money in
the bank, let it remain there for
eighteen years, added to it whenever
she could, and the other day paid or!
a mortgage on the farm. Is comment
necessary ? .
"There's a great difference between
housekeeping "J boarding out," said
Mr: Young-husband; "tor when I board
ed out I had to wait sometime half an
hour for my dinner, but new I have it
just when I can get it."
Major Peno, sentenced to dismissal
from the United States service for
drunkenness and disgraceful conduct,
some time ago begged the President to
permit him to resign. This small con
solation to an unfortunate officer who
had ruined himself by intemperance
was generously granted. Strange to
stale, the resignation which should have
followed immediately has not takn
place. Instead, however, a great ntun
her of Peno's friends are beseeching
President Hayes to so raoditv the sen
tence ot the Court-martial as to keep
the bacchanalian warrior in the army.
It is not the best plan in the world tor
civilians to revoke the sentences o'
martial courts, but it it must be done
in this case, and Heno must be kept in
the army, let il be as a private soldier
for a year. If ho keeps peflectly sober
during all that lime and performs his
duty conscientiously, let him be made
a Second Lieutenant and left to work
his way back to his old rank by a long
course of good behavior and sobriety.
It would be very easy to demoralize
the regular army by a series of t'enti
mental iuterlerbiice ot the kind Presi-
dent Hayes is now asked for.
"1 he women who do laucy work don't
faucy werk. ' .
An Even TItlnfr.
The other day two strangers were
toasting their shins on opposite sides
of a big stove in a ferry wharf saloon,
and it was not iced that they often look
ed at ench other as if almost certain
they had met before. Finally oue6t
them got tip and said: " ' 4
"Stranger, I've seen a face almost
like yours. Did you ever have a brother.
Bin?" v . . . .- ;
"Yes.' : c -:
"Was he a sailor?" "' '
"He was." ' '
"Did you hear of him last cbout tea
years ago?" i
"yesjustvaboutte,n.iRiwago." - '
"Stranger" continued the first, seem
ing greatly affected, "I've sailed with
your brother. We were wrecked ,to
gether on the Pacific, and before .help
came I had to kill and eat him. , 1, am
awful sorry it was your brother ' and
though I was driven to il and you can t
touch me I'm willing to pay you darn
ages. Be kinder fair with me, for xiilJL
was tough. About how much do .yow
think is fair." '-"n
Tl.e other wiped a tear from his eye
spat on the stoye and replied:
"Str?nger, where is yoiir dad?";?
"Been dead these twelve years."
"Died in Nevada, didn't he?"
"Yes, out there somewhere."
"Well, I killed him! I knew
were his son the minute... I saw youi
He and I were in a mine one day, and
as we were gm'ng up in the bucket I
saw that the old ropo was going to,
break under the strain. When we'
were up about 200 feet, I picked up
your old dad and dropped him over.1
It was bad on him but it saved ma.
Now, you ale my brother, Bill, and I
murdered your dad, and I guess we'd,
better call it even and shake to see who
pays for the drinks" j'
The shook, drank, and the o'd Lako
Captains who could not tell a lie had to'
sit back and realize how sad it was'
that they were born will: such tender
consciences. Detroit Fi ez Press; '
A homely servant gitl in a bouse is
a wellspring of joy.
The champion modest girl of the po-,
riod resides at Sacramento. She calls
it the Limhislatnrc.
A gentleman lefustng an offer of mar
liage during leap year is expected to
present the young lady who proposes
with a new dress.
Tl.e Elmira Advertiser lias discover
ed that women do not cultivate the so
ciety of men of letters so much as they
lo that of men of money. -
Macanlar was sour enough to sayj
"Men are loved by women in propor
tion to their success in life." ,Ile was a
bachelor and devoted himself to making-,
Young'farmei 'Nice warm raluj
bring things oat of the ground, won't
it?" Reprehensible old widower -"Don't
meutioln it! I've got two wives'
there already.'
A laplander does not have to go into
mourning when his wife dies. He can
marry while the body is in the house
an l have a second wife to ride to the'
grave with him.
: An Italian being accused of marrying
five wives was asked by the Judge why
ho wedded so many. "In oider to meet
with a good oDe, if possible," the fellow
Care drives the nails in our coffins,
but what man can feel iolly when his
wife daily hands him a listot neighbors
who have got twice as many bonnets
as she has, and their husbands not earn-"
ing halt his salary. ' - .
A lady living near Baltimore, who is
very deaf, stopped a milkman as he
was passing the house the other day,
aaked hira how much he charo-ed f r a
quart of milk, and then put up her eatf
trumpet to catch the reply. The man
drew a quart of milk aud emptied it in-
lo the trumpet, and tlie result has been
that he has to 20 three miles out nf hirf
way to keep out of sight ot tho lady's
son, who sits on the f rout porch wait
ing for him to pass;
D'uriug tlie month of June next," 20,-"
000 persons will be engaged in - the'
work of taking the United States cen:
sus for 1 880. It will, be the most com
plete statistical report ever mada in
this country. The law provides for
taking the name, sex, color, b;rihp:ace,
occupation. and ability ; read and wiite,
tit each person. gtatiHtics of mine-1, fish
eries ami fishiiig popn'aiiop, ,rRilrd,
firo and life insutaticf, ex ti f.
telsgtapii companies. , It win t ,
lain full statistics of agriculf. - t
every brsccb ot rcecbadcs.1 iaJ-