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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (Aug. 3, 1877)
1-m.iMii.u h:tiy. y
C I A. 'X CliKV K.
K THE REGISTER BUILDING,
f.trrur Fi-rrtt nrui J-'irst S';rcs.
TEKW IX .M'VASCK.
One ropv, mie your 50
One iniiv. Vix months 1 10
i o !! t twenty, each copy W 00
S'.nirle copies Ton cents.
Sitcri!.i,rs outside of I. inn connty will be
cHu rrci ivnt 7ti for tly-year as
tttnt is the amount of postage per ammm
which we are required to pay on each, paiivr
mailuil ly us.
:j-tit for the Ilejstotcr.
The following; nimii"! centlcmcn nreniilhor-
el to wis'
arid nit-ipt for snliscriptioii"
to the KnnsTK
: in the localities inenlinnira :
Messrs. KirU" & Hume...
V. V. smith
. P. Tomnkins '. .
. H. rinuuhton
A. Wheeler & t o
Missm. Smith & Uraslielil. .
J. It. Irvine
Thos. U. lii'vnnM
. .. . . l'Noum.
fill I AY.
AVCr ST :i, 177.
The Kcukuk Gat 7y characterizes
the civil service rules a? "finical, im
practicable and largely absurd."
In Maine tlsc nevancrs of both sides
arc coming out with hearty approval of
the civil service reform orders.
A foreign correspondent thinks if the
Czar had brought his motlicr-iii-law. to
the Danube she would have made him
cross loner liefi. re now.
The ltirluiitoii Jiticf.-i ic terms the
president's civil service order ''this last
freak,'' and s'a f greater exhibition of
cheap demagognery than was ever in
dulged in "
The Dubuque 7Vu,, in speaking of
the presidential order reforming lhecril
service, says "it will challenge more ridi
cule for its alsnrdity than the Pope's
bull against the comet."
Mr. Hayes says that the two great de
(ires of his administration are the heal
ing tif the factional controversies, the
restoration of national unity, and the
destruction of the partnership between
the civil service and politics.
Troops that left San Francisco on the
morning of the 14lh hist, were disem
barked at T.ewiston on the evening of
the 10th iust. An instance of the quick
est dispatch in the matter of transporta
tion that has ever occurred on the Pa
cific coast. The distance is upwards of
twelve' hundred miles.
The Democrats are always most
formidable where they have not been.
During the last decade their greatest
glory has been to talk ot suspicioncd
corruption in national affairs, but they
strive hard to pjevent any examinations
into the doings of State administrations
where the Democracy have controlled
the wheel of fortune ; and they as vigor
ously fight shy ot going into details of
Democratic municipal transactions. Be
ing such persistent whiners, they gener
ally make comparatively good political
figures in States where they are in the
majority ; but their showings are scarce
ly so well to look upot in those commu
nities where 1-emocrats must prepare the
steward's account. To ilh.strato this
condition of things, our owu State may
be taken as an example. While the
Democrats have been complaining of the
extravagance of the Republican party,
which has continually reduced the debt
and raised the credit of the nation, the
"unwashed" reformers, socalled, of this
State have lieen doing sorry things, for
which they must soon givo an account.
Generally they have greatly increased
the State debt, and have squandered the
State and school lands. They have
been most extravagant in the expendi
ture of public moneys, generally to re
ward political favorites. Every depart
ment and every division of the depart
ments of the State gover:;mcr.t have
been run roost expensively, and politi
cians have reaped the advantages. The
State printing has cost at the rate of
nearly G0,000 per term, while less than
half that amount would be considered
"fat" by priyate concerns. The asylum
has been a source of immense profit to
the keeper of the insane, and consequent
ly of proportionate loss to the State.
The treasurer has found means to "le
gally" levy on unusual perquisites, and
the State department hajs found occasion
for the expensive employment of such
talent that favorites would gain rich
profits, though a benefit has seldom ac
crued to the State. The time is coming
tor a searching examination into objects
for which hundreds of thousands of dol
lars of the people's money Jiaye been so
lavishly expendedjduring the Democrat
ic administration. The Democracy of
Oregon found the Presidential election
was up-hill business for them, but the
ascent will become astonishingly abrupt
for them when inside facta of the State
administration have been laid before the
people. In 1878 the Democracy of
Oregon must fight on the defensive, and
tacts and figures- are in a sorry plight
ibr them. They mnst answer for their
iskic"5s stewardship'. Portland Bee..
A SSI A EE BOV,
"Oh! I saj-, she's out,? "sard small
Ned, a he opened the door. "She'tt
gone to the dressmaker's, but she'll be
back so. n, 'cause she's got to friz her
hair for dinner. Come in and wait."
I accepted the invitation, and install
ed myself iu the easiest chair in the par
lor, after rolling it to the bay-window,
so as to command a view of the street,
while Ned "histed" himself, as ho call
ed it, on a marble-topjied table beside
me, aijd sat there, with the crispy oheck
iness of early boy-hood, whistling and
swinging his feet.
Ned was a chap often years, with a
remarkable memory as f was fated to
discover the youngest brother of Miss
Victoria Conrad ; and Miss Victoria
Conrad was a handsome, dashing, clev
er girl whom I had met at a picnic the
preceding summer, and with whom I
liad immediately fallen desperately in j
I use the word "desperately" advised-!
ly, for it was my first really serious en- !
tanglcraciit, and my charmer, being a I
thorough mistress of the arts liy which
young and susceptible male hearts arc
subjugated, had enthralled mc most
True, liefore I cast myself at her foot, j
I iiau telt a great tenderness tor a sweet
little third or fourth cousin of mine, a
slight pa'e young g rl, with hair of the
faintest gold and eyes of the softest blue,
and an innocent, trustinir, child like
look in hor pretty face.
I Sut beside -Miss Conrad, with her
magnificent form, glorious auburn tress
es, and wonderful big'black eyes, May
Newton faded into insignificance. It
was as though one placed a delicate,
cream-colored lily in tho-same vase with
a gorgeous, llaine-dashevl-with-critnson-leaved,
brown-throated gladiole. ,
-And so I found, on becoming ac
quainted with Miss Conrad, that ray
feeling for May, which had existed
since our earliest c-Mldhood, was only a
tenderness, while my feeling for Victo
ria, although but three months old, al
ready amounted to a passion.
Iut, in spue of my infatuation for the
lt. T ....., i.t:.l ... .k. .i '
lai-ri, i. nas nut ohiiu 10 inu iaei n;;it, i
she was a finished coquette, and I j
didn't half like the way, after the very
decided encouragement she had given f
me, she flirted with my intimate friend j
Charley Thornton. Sometimes, indeed, j
it flashed upon me that there l ad been i
a-lovc anair between them which had
not entirely ended even now, and it
was after one of these flashes I had
sought her house, determined to discov
er what her real feelings toward me
were, and resolved that when I left her
it should bo cither as an accepted or re
- To speak frankly, I had every reason
to believe, in spite of the flashes, it
would be as an accepted one. For as
much as TrTornton was distinguished
by Miss Conrad above her other admir
ers, just so much had I been of late dis
tinguished above Thornton. Ar.d we
j two were equal in age, looks, family,
education, and (our lady-love thought)
fortune. I say our lady-love thought,
tor the truth was, compared to me,
Charley was poor. How rich I was 1
had taken care should not be known ;
tor though only threc-and-twenty, I had
already grown tired of a single life,
with its attendant boarding-houses, and
was looking for a wile, with a view to
a comfortable home of my own. And
like Lord Burleigh and other romantic,
poetical fellows, I wanted to be loved
for myself alone.
Only Charley Thornton knew of my
recent;y inherited wealth, and him I
had bound by all that is sacred in friend
ship not to disclose it.
"So in singling mo out for favor,"' I
argued, "Victoria leads me to suppose
she loves me. And it 6he consents to
become my wife that supposition will
turn into a happy certainty, for she
ccrainly, with her lieanty and talents,
might make a much finer match than
the one I ofler her. And what delight
it will be when the words are spoken
that will seal my happiness and make
her all my own, to seo her resplendent
eyes grow larger and brighter as she
learns that in accepting a few thousand
she has become the mistress of halt a
But to go back to the small boy,
swinging his feet and evidently anxious
to enter into conversation.
"I say," he blurts out at last, "do
yon like to look at photographs?
Charley Thornton does. Ife and Vic
looked at this book" taking one from
the table on which he sat "for raore'n
an hour the other day. I like him.
He give mc two white mice and a guiu-ea-P'g;
the cat ale the mice, and the
gutnea-pig's dead. But they wasn't
looking at it all the time cither. They
was talking. Your picture's there, you
know. His used to be on the other
page, but he coaxed Vic to put it some
"Why?" I asked, ceasing to watch
tor the coming of my divinity, and turn
ing toward the small boy with awaken
4'Cause," said Ned, evidently trying
to repeat the very words "'cause he
jjouldn't bear oven his picture to have
always before it the face of his rival, his
successful yes, that's it his successful
My heart gave a bound. She did
love me, then. Poor Charley,?
"And what reply did your sister
make to that?" I asked.
"Oh ! she said 'nonsense;' but she
took the picture out Charley's, you
know and he kissed her hand, and she
carried it up to her room, and it's there
now, hanging bstween tho 'Ilugenot
Lovers' and 'His only Friend. Ho's a
poor barefooted boy a-lying fast asleep
in the road, and his only friend's a dog
one of them big fellows, you know "
. 'Yes, yes," I interrupted, rather im
patiently ; "I know all about it."
Ned, evidently somewhat ofTendcd, is
silent for about three minutes, and then
he began again. "Oh my, didn't they
talk that day ! Vic sent word5 to every
body else that came that she was out.
Wasn't that a whopper? I was smug
gled up on the sofa over in that dark
corner there, and they didn't see me,
and I heard every word they said.
Wouldn't Vie have boxed my ears if
she had caught me !"
"I wonder what they talked of," I
said to myself, with a jealous qualm
to tell the truth, Pd been a little stag
gered by the picture episode ; and then
though it wasn't exactly the right thing
to do, although certainty excusable in a
case like this, where a man's whole hap.
pincss was at stake, I made up my
mind it possible to find out.
'Xed," said I, "I saw a splendid
knife the other day six blades."
"Six blades!" repeated Ned, his eyes
"Yes, or five blades and a file, I don't
remember which- It , was a beauty,
though, and it I wasn't afraid you'd
cut yourself with it, I'd buy it and give
it to you."
"Cut myself!" said the small boy,
with infinite scorn ; "I ain't a baby."
"Well," said I, "the knife shall "be
yours." And then I continued, in a
nonchalant manner : "What was it you
said your sister and Mr. Thornton were
talking about V"
"1 didn't say nothing," said Ned:
"When '11 you bring the knife?"
"You shall have it tomorrow," I re
plied. "Did they say anything about
me, tor Instance V
:Oii, lots !" said Ned. starling off
i rapid!-. "Charley said, 'Oh, Vic. you'd
never have given me up it I handn't
tol l you how rich he was. What a
fool I've been ! 1 might have known
that that would haveboen too much ot ! ""j1'-'"''. llo- morally 1( prous
a' let me see: 'Lead llg not into 1 a"d rofnlou you are inwardly, the
temptation' 'temptation tor such a i rmn' Vveil-V au,i idleness which you
girl as vou are. Good heavens" and '! ,,"i,ctirS 'P"'i this community de
hn crraUf.l rt i,; i clare as from the housetops. ou are
though he was going to pull it out:"!
aim tne smau uoy suited tlie action to
the word, and tugged at his own cutly
locks with siii.ii an assumption of des
peration as brought tears into his eves.
" 'GtMjd heavens !' he says, how "sel
fish and cruel you are !" I'm sure I
don't know how I can love yon. Are
you going to marry him ?' "And Vic
says, 'I am.' "
"Oh .' you are, "thinks the attentive
'It. VO!l),l llO lhll CllK- 1 clini-ot-. '
., ... . . ow.,
me small boy rattles on, "for
us to get
never could be happy without a lire
house, and a carriage, tnd ali sorts of :
nobby things,' and ever so much more ;
I can't remember. 'And so be a good I
boy, 'she says, 'and console yourself:
with May Newton. She likes yon, I'm ;
sure, and she is a sweet little thing, and i
would make you an excellent wife.' j
"I don't, believe she ever will, then,' j
I muttered between mv teeth. "(Jo on, '
Ned." " j
" 'No, she wouldn't,' says Charley ;
'and as lor liking ine, you never weie
more mistaken in your life; or if she!
does like me, it is because I am the 1
' friend ot tl
ie man she loves-
Cell,'" (I'm Arthur Bcii)
loves him as dearly as I do vou. and
has loyed him for years. It was for his
sake she refused handsome Phil Akcrs,
to say nothing ot that rich old bachelor
Quimby that all the other girls are pull
ing caps fur. Poor little wretch ! I
know how to pity her.' 'You'll both
recover,' says. Vie, 'and ten chances to
one, fall in love with each other.
There's nothing like catching a ball on
the bounce. ' "
"'A heart on the rebound,' I think
you mean, Ned," I say, with astonish
"Well, perhaps I do," assents the
small-boy, whistling a couple of bars of
"Yankee Doodle" thoughtfully. "Any
how," ending with a false note that
m o l-nc - ilwi.l.l 1 4 T , .... I . tf
she'd marry you, 'cause you was slap- !
bang-set-'em-up-airain rich : and Chat
ley smashed his hat on his head and
walked out of the room like this," and
slipping from the table, the smad boy
teized my hat from my hand, literally
smashed" it upon his curly head, and
strode nut into the hall in such a melo
dramitic manner that I smiled in spite
When he returned, I left tho easy
chair not quite as much at ease as
when I sat down in it took possess
ion of my hat, restored it as much as
possibo to its original shape, and said,
"Ned, you've been remarkably enter
taining in tact, 1 never met sucr. an
eptei tabling small boy before : but I
won't wait any longer. Givo my re
spects to your sister "
"Don't you mean your love?" asks
Ned, with wide-opened eyes, and adds,
needn't be bashful.
H J .. ' 11 it i i
come now, vou
I know ad about
it, yon know." -
"I don't mean my love," I say, most
"And when'll you come again ?"
"Impossible to tell."
"But the knife the one with six
blades and a file?"
"I'll scud it to-morrow morning ear
"You're a trump!" exclaims the
small boy, cutting a caper. "And, I
say when you marry Vic and ask me
out to your country-house to spend my
vacation, will you give me a boat and a
Shetland pony one of them real jolly
onen with hair hanging down all over
its eyes ?"
"When" I marry Vic I will, " I prom
ise, solemly. "Good-by."
But I never marr.y Vie. '
. Mr. Quimby, the rich old bachelor,
does, though ; and a precious time,
they say she has with the cranky, hot
tempered, astlmiatic old fellow. ,
My wife has soft blue eyes and faint
golden hair; acd I have como to the
conclusion that a delicate, cream-colored
lily is much to Ije preferred to a gorge
The greenbackers of Iowa have can
didates ot their own for Governor and
State officers. They resolved that "the
silver dollar should be rcmoDelized and
made legal tender for payment of all
Government bonds ami other debts"
f.r httlo n-h;i u r K'i;.. i . i night debauchery. ,: , , , , , , . ,
you as well as I could love anybody,! lM .l' ! cm hnvc vo. a,1ll,atc i crs heated brow.
and then I'd be jolly miserable; for I 1-Z? J uT?C he- Hioyes W bent on the darling
must have a seal-skin jacket and a new ! j' .r f t,,ts .le"'.,,,,e ,ury a,,. white pa ,,cr before him, and his fin-efs
switch, and hair like mine costs like' ; f T ' muhocCA" ullUl I moved nervously, and the pencil was a
Oh, no; thats what she said to ma '".!,', ono can
I . . ' Urlt? flirt Hftf-l . 1 ..wn . 1 . . . . ..1 1
ima iijuiiin;. i im?:u sin savs - i-tr i : . . . - , t..
I . . . . .... : . T 1 r - n.v utiri Uf" mtciL ULl 11 I 111 1L . I 1 - . . I r '
A ,3C2fiES SS5TEXCE.
In passino- sentence upon some liquor j Ile was a friend of mine and used ire
dealers in the Slate ol Iowa recently, i qcHy to open; and give me advice as
. j to how I ought to run my paper.
J udge Ilibbard addressed them concern-1 1Ie was a mi:Ilister) and consequently
ing their crimes in the following words thought I should devote it a little more
which can bMi commend themselves to
the good judgment of all :
While there are greater crimes known
to the law, which are punishable with
great severity, there are none which in
volve more of those qualities known as
despicable "meanness and audacity than
tne selling ot intoxicating liquors.
'I here :g something in the taking ot
numan ii!e by v iolence so instantaneous
niui, lb aiHi LUI I 1111.0 LtiW lUlliVAH V(-
all, and yet we look upon the man who
takes human life quite as surely, but by
a slow lingering process, if not without
condemnation, at least without horror.
You who stand before the court for sen-
! tence are in .every moral sense murder
j ers, and you are in the spirit, if not in
the letter, guilty of manslaughter; for
the law says that whoever accelerates
the death of a human being unlawfully
is trinity ot the crime. lour bloated
vicitms upon lho witness stand, and who
undoubtedly committed perjury to screen
you from the "law, not only abundantly
testify that, you are accelerating death,
but that you are inducing men to com
mit still greater crimes than your own.
You still maintain the appearance of
livinsr m idleness and eatinor the lnead
j of orphans, watered with widow's tears,
j You are stealthily killing your victims
j and murdering t le peace and industry
i of the community, and thereby conven
I ing happy, industri jus homes into mise
j ry, thriftless poverty and rags. You
i are sowing the seeds of ignorance, and
; id leneness, and want among the geuera
I tions to come:
-Anxious wives and mothers watch
and pray in tears nightly with desolate
j heaits tor the coming home ot your vic
I tims whom you are luring with the
wiles and smiles ol the devil into mid-
depravity to which his species can he
brought until he looks unon the doso-
late ruin caused by your l.olhsh trafho.
l ou are persistent, defiant law-break-
.... snumss.y ooasc mat in ueti- , MJppiemeilt raessago from Heaven be
a nee of law and moral sense of the com-
....mjr v wnSCont ime m your wick-
lt , . .
Au v .T.I -10U' ,CTi ,t,4,e,,,mPcratlV0
duty of this court to let fall upon you
c nvnviiy me arm oi me law, that yon
shall either be driven from your nefari-
ons traffic or ruined in your fortunes or
wicked prosperity. i ou have become
a stench to the nostrils of the c immuni
ty, and all good men are praying that
you may lie speedily reformed or sum
marily -destroyed. By the providence
of God and the favor of this court, these
prayers shall be speedily answered by
signal and exact justice tor your crimes.
This court will feci a proud satisfaction
in taking from you by law your iil-got-
ie . gumn, anu g.ving it to the common
scnuoi itiiid oi tnis county, where, let!
us hope, it will assist in educating the j
rising youth to shun your vices and
wicked practices. i
And, finally, let ine entreat you, t'
you arc- not lost to every sentiment oi !
humanity, to desist from your criminal, j
vagabond traihe and betake yourselves j
to some honest calling for a liveli! ood
and you may yet become a virtuous
usctul citizen, and entitled to tl.o
-pect ol a Chustian community; while !
V" Pe."llKt '" wny, J'onr own ru-
i ...... ....... inn iltcuu as
j you deserve, the execration of mas kind.
You may think that the sentence of
the court is harsh and unjustly severe,
but tho court assures you "that", compar
ed with your crimes and the desolation
oou have already brought upon the
it is mild in the extreme.
Under ther homestead law every head
of a family, male or female, or sinj'e
man over twenty-one years is a citizen ot
the United Mates, or having declared
his intention to become such, can enter,
on payment of tho registry fees, ranging
from scveii to twenty-two "dollars, eighty
acres of any of the laud' reserved by the
government within tho limits ol" tho
railioad grants, excepting lands bearing
gold, silver, cinnabar or copper, and one
hundred and sixty acres if the claim is
situated outside of the latter,"" always
providing, however, that the claimant
has never at any time "entered" any of
me lands m any other ."Mate or I erritory
oi ine l mon
After five years bona, 1
tide residence upon and impr. vement of!
the land, liie government will givo the j
claimant a regular title. Under the
preemption laws, persons possessing the
same qualifications as claimants under
the homestead laws not being in posses
sion of 320 acres in any of the States,
may "enter" at a land office, on pay
ment of a fee of two dollars and estab
lish a pre-emption right ; that is, a right
to take a tract of 1G0 acres, either with
in or without a railroad grant, wherever
the land shall be offered for sale by the
government, at two dollars and fifty
cents per acre in the former and one dol
lar and twenty-five cents in the'latter
case. Land offices are located at Oregon
City, in Clackamas county, Rosebud,
in Douglass county, Lakeview, in Lake
county, Dalles, in Wasco conn.'y, and
La Grande, in Union county ; also at
w ana y ana ana Uoltax in W
-The financial muddle in Ohio must be
pretty bad since the attitude of the Hon.
George 11 Pendleton is in doubt. His
friends hint mysteriously that he is not
such a bad inflationist after all, and his
old party allies are calling upon him to
come out and define his position, since
they want, "no Esau in the tones of
II If XEWSPAiB COSTRIMITIOS.
j to the cause ot religion, and uot quite
so much to politics.
Ho said it could be made a power
for good in the) western land, in which
we had both caist our fortunes.
lie was a lojvcr of the original, too,
and said he disliked to see reprint, and
thought I should write more take the
j tml0j ,n facl 1U1 t)e papeil rio.llt
j wjti, gQotj I)CW- ftufl. That 'seemed
such au easv lor hin that d
1 ventured to av-
" Brother you had a glorh.-na meeting
last night at the school house, I hear
, suppose yon Write it up for me?"
He didn't seem as though he wanted
lie blushed a little and stood around,
awkward like. He had never been
honored with an invitation to write for
the press before
I still limed,
Then he took off his gloves. And
his hat, and his overcoat- Then I
gave him a seat at the table with paper
and pencil. j
lie sat down to editorial work. ,
He had elways been talking about
how it should; be done, and now he was
He started in.
I went about my work, and iiaving
written a column or two of matter for
the week's paper, left him still writing,
while I wenCont to solicit some adver
I was gone an hour or two, and when
I came back he was still at it.
He was sweating awfully.
The table and tloor were white with
eopy.paper, and the pencil in his hand
was much demolished in length.
I went to ; dinner.
When I returned he was at it yet.
, There was more paper scattered
around, t ho j pencil was shorter and he
was wetter, i It was summer.
1 he hours dra acred aloncr into the
grow irignieneci. i knew
I had only
a smad weekly paper, and
Ue was a patent inward would ,ot
M ot ; i r .
hold the contents of
the Bible, and a
At asl tllC man ,oo1mh1 ai)tl u
idly advancing with a piece of paier in
his hand, suddenly turned and went
j back to clia a wGrd
'1 hen he came on again, and, like
rtiir d'Twi t'-i.-l .nt-tn.-l I -V.
1)eM OHt lhe ' ad , , '
"Will that do?"
There were just seven lines of it, ad
He was a largo man weighed over
300 pounds then, but when T met him
throe weeks later he weighed less than
lie had been sick.
lhe seven-line-i.'ine-hour effort
j too much for him
But it was not lost. lie never ad
vised an editor again.
Neither did he ever compose again.
It was hard work for him to write
and he saw he was not cut out for "an
I We hail with pleasure the advent of
! the ladies slipper. It has long been in
I retirement, it adds a new attraction to
thn clival 'I'l.n h" i..:..
lir,. ,t- Q ,tt ,ri ,:..f.
has passed whose only street view of the
feminine ankle has b?en through leather.
At last the stocking of onr grandmoth
er's is revealed. Tho clean white hose
is a power in the land. Its influence is
sudden, mysterious, subtile, and magnet
ic It concentrates all eves as to a fo-
cus on itself. It amuses and interests
the lounger. It affords to the hurried
man of business a momentary respite.
It redoubles the liabilities of lho careless
to be run over. It is not without a
charm fey the aged breast. No portion
of a ladies apparel is more effective.
The snowy ancle, if at all symmetrical,
half compensates lor a plain face. It is
a make-weight in the dower of feminine
beauty of which woman for long years
has leen robbed. For tho boot is ex
pensive. A little worn, and it becomes
missbappen and ugly. We welcome
the slipper. Long may it reign. The
simpler the style the better.
A inuiinM Uenerowlty.
There was crape hanging to a door on
Hcanbien street - yesterday afternoon
and a bov six or nevn vm t-M ctA
at the gate with pale face and red eyes,
A ragged, tobacco-chewing imp, about
twelve years old, came slamming along,
and he wai making ready to stick his
finger into tho email boy's eye, through
tho bars of the gate, when ho cangfit
sight of the crape.
"Sumbody dead" he asked.
"Yes, my pa," gasped the little ono.
"Ilonky! but that's tuff!" exclaimed
the imp, and ho began searching his
pockets, ofter discovering that his per
sonal property amounted to three nails,
and an old cigar, stub and a clay pipe,
he said : - r r '
"See here, bub, I'd like to give you
candy, or a knife, or sumthin' to kinder
make you feel good, but I can't do it.
I'm dead-broke and feel in' half sick, but
Pll lei 1 'you what I'll do. I could chaw
yon up in ono minute, but you can come
out here and I II let you take mo down
and maul me, and I'll holler like a loon,
and all the boys around here will think
yon are the wickedest tighter east ot the
The small boy might have appreciated
the motive, but he didn't accept the
Refugees say the Russian troops at
tacked wagon trains fleeing to Shumla
and murdered people indiscriminately
minil in ri ill nltoi.n.i
The Rev. Mr. C-
. , t ItTfpvt'iltUlC
clergyman m the interior of the State
relates the following anecdote. A
couple came to him to get married. Af
ter the knot was tied the bridegroom ad
dressed him with : "II rtu miisli .1 ..
Lax, mister?' J
Why, "replied the Clergyman, "I
generally take whatever is offered me.
Sometimes more sometimes less. I
leave it to the bridegroom."
"Yes but how much do you ax, I
say ?" repeated the happy man.
"I have just said," returned the cler
gyman, "that I left it to the decision of
the bridegroom. Some give me ten
dollars, some five, some three, some two,
some one, and some only a quarter ot a
"A quarter, ,ha ! ' said the bride
groom ; "well, that's as reasonable as a
body could ax. Let me see if I've got
the money " He took out his pocket
book, there was no money' there; he
fumbled in all his pockets, but not a
sixpence could he find. "Dang it,"
said he, "I thought I had some money
with mc; but I recollect now, 'twas in
my tot her trowser's pocket. Hetty,
have you got such a thing as two shill
ings about ye ?"
"Me!" said the bride, with a mixture
of shame and indignation "I'm aston
ished at ye, to come here to be married
without a cent of money to pay for it !"
If I'd known it afore, I wouldn't come
a step with ye ; yon might have gone
alone to be married for all me."
"'es, but consider, Hetty," said the
bridegroom in a soothing tone, "we're
married now, and it can't be helped
yon have got sich a thing as a couple
"Here, take 'em," interrupted the an
gry bride, who during this speech had
leen searching in her work-bag ; "and
don't yon," said she, with a significant
motion ot her finger "don't you serve
me another sich a trick
Works Hrld In Reserve by Ue Creator.
A local itemizer who never offends.
A school teacher who can treat every
pupil alike and satisfy all.
A woman with a pretty foot who
never lifts her skirts ankle high.
A seventeen-year old lad who knows
half as much as he will ten years later.
An editor who can conduct a live
newspaper and keep off of other people's
A professional politician who thinks
an editor's services deserving ot any
thing but curses.
A clersrvmatl will ran nrpooli cr o-
I keep on the right side of the Lord and
au nis congregation at the same time.
A town free from tieonln wlin nm-nr
can find anything so nice, so cheap and
so si usn as can do had in other places.
An individual calling himself anon
ymotn, who never curses an editor h r
carrying a dirty load that he dare not
A gossip who never supplements his
or her poisoned tail with. the words,
"you mnsn't tell anybody for the world
what I told you."
A business man who cannot afford to
advertise, lftit can afford to see people
pass his door to patronize his enterpris
ing neighbor who sows his seed in the
newspaper, which is returned to him an
When tha great Creator presents the
world with these works of his hand, tho
creating of while blackbirds will not be
Mrs. Allen, of Omaha, after twenty
five years of childless married life, gave
birth to a boy, and in announcing the
happy event to her relatives in Maine,,
she wrote : "Long have I wandered in
lonely, cheerless gloom, but thank Heav
en, I now bask in the sonshiue !"
Two Pennsylvania tramns stormed ai.
tho house of a lone widow, and one
went in to beg. Very soon he came out
with a bloody nose and a first class
black eye. "Well, did you get any
thing, Jack?" "Yes," growled the
sufferer, "I've got the widow's might."
"No," she said, and the wrinkles in
her face smoothed out pleasantly ; "no
I dc not remember the last 47-year lo
custs.! I was an infant then."
Musicai.. -Miss Nettie Piper, teacher of
Vocal and Instrumental music, has recent
ly located in Albany, and prepared to give
lessons in tho above named branches. Has
had several years experience in teacliinp;.
and can give the best of references. 4
IIAIT1X, Stanipiimr, ratting and Fit.
t ing, Viain Sewing, Hair Weaving, etc. Cutting
an1 fltfinpr Children's Clotliinpr n ftncelnllv.
.nn at tne rooms adjoining the Kbjirtku otllee
Albany, OrCKon. Mks. Coj.1.. Van Cleve.
Majou White Is located one door west
of Fox Bro.'s, First street, Albany, where
he is prepared to do all work in his line,
such as repairing watches, clocks and jew
elry. Also, engraves door-plates, silver
ware, Ac. Give him a call.
The Richmond Range is a great wood
saver, and as it throws out less heat than
any other good range or stove, it is way
tip tor Summer use.
TO roXSLrMI'TIVES.--The oil vert ieer.bav
inj? been permanently eared of that dread dis
ease. Conduit pi ion. by a simple lvineily.isanx
ious to make known to his fellow nnfte'rero the
means of nun;. To nil who desire it, he will
send a eopv of the prescription nsed (free of
eliavsrc). with the directions for preparing and
lining the same, which they will And a rare
rare for Consumption. Asthma, ISronehiti,e.
Parties wish in the prescription will please ad
dress Kev. E. A. Wilson, 1(4 Peiin St., Williams
burg, N. Y. . lisv9J ton43v9
Error of To' tli. A gentleman who snf
ferert for 3'ears from Xcrvous nubility. Prema
ture Decay, ami all theeffects of youthful indis
cretion will, for thesakeof snfferinsrhumanlty,
send free to all who need It. the recipe and di
rection for niakiiis; the simple remedy by which
he. was eur5d. Kult'crers wishing to profit by
the advertiser's experience can do so by ad
dressing in perreet eontjdence, Joil-N B. Oohen,
42 Cedar SU, New York. n43v9
To all who are snffcrinq: from the errors and
Indiscretions of youth, nervous weakness, early
decay, loss of manhood. Ac.. I will send a rcci)io
that. 'will cure yon, F1SEE OF CHAltUE. Tlits
Brreiit remetly was discovered by a missionary
In youth America. Send a self-addressed enve
lops to the Kkv. .Ioski'H T. Ikhun.. Station ,
JSiUc JJouttr, jV Foi . liSvtt - -
Sensible Advice. I -
You are asked every day. through Uig
columns of your newspapers and by your
Druggist to usie something for your Dys
pensia and Liver Complaint that vou know
notfiinnr about- votit orel liseftnrnofi1 unnnrl.
ing money with but little success. Iff ow h
to give you satisfactory proof that Green's $
August Flower will cure you of Dyspepsia Jk.
and Liver Complaint with all its effects,
such a9 Sour Stomach. Sick Headache, " f
Habitual Costivene.9 palpitation of the
iieart, jicart-nurn, water-brash, dullness
at the pit of the Stomach. Yellow Skin.
coated tongue. Coming up of food 81
viniiig, low piru,, etc., we as you pa po
to your Druggist and get a sampIeSotUe
of Green's August Flower for 10 ctnt9 and
try it, or a regular size lor 75 cjits, two
doses will relieve you. . r n44v9
PINPM3.-I will mall (free) recipe for
preparing a simple Vcjcetahte li&m that will re
move Tan, Freckles, PlmpleVanrt Blotcboa,
leayniK the stein soil, clear atid beautiful : alo
instructions ifor prortuclns a lt1Xnriant jrrowth
ot hair on in bald head orsuioy,h face. Address
Ken. andelf & Co., box 4121, fro. 5 Wooster-St.,
Now York. V .
FOR SAIfe j
VERY XreSHlAllT.E misil0aa ot RGxlOO feet
on the corner of Second nncj Washington
chmery, tovret her witlv a lot ut urn It are, lad
ders, wheel barrows, tiarrow. Ac., Ac., all to bo
sold off cheap for ea-sh, inconsequence of re
moval on account of sickness. Knqntre on tho
-?'.j,nie. iwuer ana jaa-
premises oi PUTNAM CO.
Albany, Jan. 19, 1S77-H17 j -
Lntesl and Most Reliable i
formation tibout the KI.ACK
HJIL.S, Nonhern Wvomfnjr
and the ritat Indian War
will always Ito found In tho
Oldest, Largest. Cheapest
ani B fchi t"A
PER in Wyo
Kstahllsbcd in 1807. Iailv,$l a
month 10 a rear. Weekly, 3
mo. l fi mo. ai.no 1 year.&i.50
sintfle copy, 10 cts.
II. Glarke, Pnbllsher, Cheyenno, Wyo.
Call ?it tlie Register Office
SMERItlLZ, ' &
All Important Parts saafio of 1B.C2T,
aaa BuraWo as Iron can to.
Adjusti'elo to aay roaiilrol
T.-liils la motion.
ITovcr Clcs cr Chokes en Stu'b'blo or
A rranRel for two. three or four horses abreast
Lightest Ilral't ilac-hiue in use.
Covers and cut s all t lie eroiind.
Broadcast Seeders will sow all kinds o(
RTitin, wet or dry. j
W A IS. -
I ask every farmer to examine nir Seeder anrl
Cultivator iN'foro pniilmsim; an Eastern Ja
ehino; For fnnhev part icuiars address
Febraarj' 9, ls77-2Pv9
JOB PRIX ING
TJAVIKO rURCIIARED THE EC-
' ' It
... ... -. h
of the "State Kitrbts Democrat ani i
"Alhanv Uetriwer " I
oaduuic iu ijLsk-viass myio,
PROMPTLY & RCASOSABLY, -
AU lUuda of I
BOOK & JO J
POSTERS AND PROGRAMMES
Of Every DcscrlptloM. -
BILL r HEADS AND STATEMEKTS,
Rills, ol Fare.
BRIEr AND LEGAL BLARES. -Cards
of all Kinds and Colors,
MANS EI EL. D & MONTHIT,'