The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, March 24, 1876, Image 1

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    volume vm
ALBANY, OREGON, MARCH 24, 1876.
NO . 27,
BUSINESS CAltDS.
SAMUEL. E. YOUNG,
WhoU:nle and Retail. Dealer in
DRY GOODS,
CLOTHING,
GROCERIES,
BOOTS & SHOES,
THRESHERS,
REAPERS & MOWERS,
"CTWAGOMS, PLOWS,
SEED DRILLS,,
BROADCST SEED
SOWERS, ETC.
First street, Albany, Urtca
Terms : Oa.s?li.
U20v7
St. Charles Hotel,
farMr W.fthlastoH ana First Kta.,
ALBANY, OREGON,
Matthews & Morrison,
"proprietors.
Hoita newly furnisliod throushont. The
lms the market affords always on the tahle. ,
t'n .aaeta ta and frnas Use Mquwu.
P. C. HARPER & CO.,
-Dealers in
CtoUite. Paats ami Kfcoea, Hnta, Wroee
rlrs, I n.rjr UaodK, Kothtnn, KliotKana
Ml ristola, 3iala, Itopf, Mlrr.ru,
' Wllrprr, . Hood nod Willow
Ware, TraukH mid VhIUi-h,
lwkrt CuUery, Af ..,
old very low cither for cash, or to prompt rwy
i.3 Ins customers on time v7
Halting and Moving Buildings.
WK THE l"SIEltl(iXKl llKfl LEAVE TO
iiiiiiounif to tho citizens tf AUnny and
mirmumliuir country t lint. having; itnpplU-l ur
Hdves wltli the iiwi'Wiry machinery for ruis-in-
and removing bnildinrH, we are ready lit u'l
time tt receive order for such work, which
wc will do in -hort or lor at lowest rates. We
Kiiarantce entire satisfaction in all work tinder
taken ly n.
rtnlers left at the KmiSTtn office promptly
nttented to. Apply to.
Alba, BAXTV.ALLEXiCO.
Or., April 21. 1S7.1. 2sv7
O- S5- S. CO.
T?RM AND AFTER DATE, ITXTIL FCK-
A- thcr notJce, rreiltl irwut
rORTLAXD to ALBAXV
; ',. .:. : will be v
OH DOLLAR PER T0
AS wwn fneisfct t Us AeKvcrcd at POUT
&VA&0 r A.STOR I A
Free of Drayage ud Wliurfiige,
At Reduced Rates.
Boats will leave ALBAXV for CcaiVAI-AIS or
lMUTI.ANH
For fart lujeiwrtieiikurs, apply ' . '
ISKA II & MOM'ITm,
AHny, Nov. I'l, T4-1'2 ivnita
CHAA, B. XU.NTAGIT.
ROBT. VCXET.
HOST AGUE &McCALLEY,
A HE NOW OPESIXG A M AO.NIFICKXT
JX. stock af
FALL AND iWipER GOODS !
1ected with car, and tough t for coin at
Nmndaloniilv Low Figure
And as we bought lotr ' can and will sell t lie in
at price that will
Astonish Everybody.
Come aatlseooiuf selection sof " .
Ims 1 earls,
i , ... - ... . . Jmpmm: .
- --" 'KIimw 1m,
Pique,
Krll llaaSea, , .".'.-'.'. .'
Marseille,
Fpll .
wjlbB-" irllr; "Collarette,
. . . , . irfe, , . Vi
ftiif the todies, and oaf complete lines of "
Oeadymade Clothing,
CottoniMirs,
farifil in
ciauii.
HK - .
of all dxaoriptkma cor men and itoj-s. Also, run
assortments of :
Grueeries, "croctef y" aid . Glassware.
, or evcrybody-
The )iest'gooda.a.t the lowest mtes every iimc.
Kr'owie and ana,
bsnun, oncon, Ootcer 30. Wit. f c i
Furniture 3Varerooms.
" ?,!iiflEl -GRAF,'"-"3"
HAVTKO rmretMwad the entite lFOt of J.
Collar in the late firm of Graf Collar. In
the furniture hualnass, takes this opportunity
to return his thanks to t lie citlns of AHxtny
and vietatty who ijave Rone ron Kl y jt rrm
Ued him in the pant, and rospeotfull v ok
contiauanee at the same. 6"AH kinds of tnr
nitnra kept on hund and nuuttifHrtnred totwler
at lowest rates, .-... v.. fUtil UKAF
Albany, Sotr. 14-VSnJ ; .
Zzih IIsiis & Barber Sltop.
Tiik rvnRcrajf ki would i!EPKtrr
fullv thank the citizens of A I twin - and vt
rinttv for tho Hoerul patronoKe bestowtwl on
him tar tHe pst twivun yir, and hopes tho
future a continuation of tlie.tr fiivora. rurtlt
wnrnmaOfttlon of tnumient cruiBTWif .and
frkn- In tti i'Tn'C !! itrt" town, nn hiM-onen-ed
a neat little aliop next door to Taylor Mros,
Saloon, where a i?Kvl wnrkinan -will always bu
In attndneo to w;jt Uixm iiatronH. ...
MTT FIRST C'UEST.
"Door, Jcnlis!"
" " Yes, sir."
My servant bowed profoundly as he
hastened to answer tho office bell.
I was impressed with the belief that
Tenks, as a waiting-man was altogether
too genteel for me ; his demeanor was
perfectly resjiectful ; he obeyed all my
orders with promptitude and dispatch
yet I never encountered his cold, ana
lytical eye without feeling decidedly
uncomfortable. I remembered how
compassionately he smiled, the first
morning of bis attendance, when I in
sisted upon dressing myself, and his
qniet air of contempt as he took the
blackiig-brush from me when I made a
feeble effort to polish my owir-boots. I
fancied myself a convict m the hands
oT a jailor, while he dusted my coat,
and sui-.ttthed my stove-pipe. Tho as
cendency that Jenks had over me was
truly alarming ! I dared scarcely open
my mouth in his presence, for fear that
his critical ear would detect some blun
der. I was even forced to the humilia
ting necessity of keeping my luncheon
of doughnuts and cheese for consecutive
hours in my breeches pocket, lest the
inevitable wretch should discover that
I lunched out-side of a coffee-house. I
am positive that Captain MacSword,ot
the Independent Uifles, recommended
the fellow to me specially as a loiument,
but here he returns with a polite bow,
and lays a card on my desk.
"Lady, sir, would like to see you."
"Yes, Jenks," I said, fixing my eye
glasses on my nose, and examining the
card.
"Wis Eleanor Bffi,,s,of Clihm,
a pretty name to begin with," thought
I. "Show her in, Jenks."
"Yes, sir," replied Jenks, with ag
gravating composure, and resting his
hand on the door-knob. CiIn case any
one calif, sir?"
Don't di.-turb me."
"Xo, sir'
Jenks looked at Lie scmtiiii.ingly,
and vanished in his noiseless way as
though tlu phantom of Jenks had come
and gone.
"A client, I supp:sc," I mentally
ejaculated, as I threw myself in a pro
fessional attitude, and seized a volume
of Story's Digest.
I was a young lawyer, of moderate
expectations, and, encouraged by a little
stipend left me by a bachelor uncle I
had the hardihood to hang out my sign,
from a small office that opened on neck
man Street. 1 do not know that any
one noticed the sign, save myself, which
I was accustomed to contemplate with
much inward satisfaction, at 'least a
dozen times luring the day, in all the
glory of gilt lettering, "CJeoikie IJiir.
gkave, Attorney at Jim?."'
However, if I had no clients, I retain
ed at least the semblaiice of business, and
always took care to walk hurriedly into
the office, with my hands full of thcn
mciits, leaving everybody to imagine
that I was weighed down with as many
cases of magnitude and importance as
the Ilouorablc District Attorney him
self. I was apparently absorbed in pro
found study, as the tloor opened, and
the graceful figure of a youitcr lady,
rJ.til in deep mourning, softly glided to
ward my desk.
I started with an exclamation of
admiration, as she threw aside her veil,
and revealed a countenance of exceed
ing loveliness. It was the finely chiscr-
ed and expressive features of a young
girl that had barely reached her 18 h
year ; dark-blue eyes of heavenly depth
azeti ttjioii me, with a sad,, inquiring
air. as she said :
" Is this Mr. . IJelgrave ?" : .
"That ia my iiame,",r replied, rising
with a bad attempt to be very calm
and self-distiosed. "I5e seated, miss."
She timidly accepted the chair which
I wheeled near my owii, and observed
hesitatingly, j
"You have heard ot the Bnfiiiis of
Clifton r' !
'Never before," said I, deferentially.'
"I presume you refer to yovr family.
Now I eall to mind, 1 did meet with
an article in the JTerahl, referring to
some trouble about the Buffiu's estate."
44 It concerns us I mean mother and
myself" replied Miss Brtfiins, with a
vivid blush, "lure paragraph I hap
pen to have with meiihd as it particu
larly indicates the object of my visit, I
wilt ask you to read it again."
"As she spoke, tho young lady drew
a newspaper from her pocket, and point
ed out the paragraph alluded to, which
site had underlined with a pencil. I
read it with renewed interest : ,
"THE BOFriXSE!?rATB ALLEGED 1X3AM'
TT OK MliS. BUFFISS.
lftrfveal iTonea n rt n urfl!f hir mprclifitifi
doing btisiittiss In Lisperfflrd Street; died,
and bcqiieatiied a handsome property,
about halt a million, to his widow. Mrs.
Jane JJufflns. & clause In the .will provid
ed that, in case of ber marriage o preina-
rtire uiscea. rue euardianshipanu control
of the property should revert to Mr. Kalph
Dorle, until K lea nor, his tonly daughter,
should come of age. Iir tlie mean time.
Itowerer, Mrs. Butilns, who has manifested
tor several months past strong symptoms
of Insanity, lias been deemed incapable ot
manastne Iter own affairs sha was yester
day, through tho advice of Iter attendant
physiclana . removal to the Insane Retreat,
at Bloomingdaie. In consequence of this
tlie gnanllanshlp and control of tlie rouna
"Well. I eiacuUtedL drawlorr a
deep breath, as I finished tho perusal
of the paragraph, and handed the news
paper back to the young lady.
" well, what then?" t r .
" Mr. lielgra ve,' ' eaid M istMearicr
yehemently, while her slight, graceful
form trembled with excitement, "you
are, as yet, unacquainted with the truth.
My toother is not mad, neither has she
ever manifested the slightest tendency to
insanity. She has been so represented
by 1 Jalph Dorle, and he even bribed the
physicians and suborned witnesses to
prove it. She is the victim, Of a base,
unprincipled man "
"I see," I interrupted, with a wise
shako ot my head. "A conspiracy to
get the property in his hands. Go on."
"This scheming villain, Dorle,"chas me
almost entirely in his power," she con
tinued. "He has lately gone to far as
to forcibly detaiu me a prisoner in my
own house, and treats, me with ruel
rigor Yesterday I aocideutly found a
check sigii3d by him, for a small amount
of niouey, and with this I resolved to
escape. TJub I accomplished by bribing
the iailoress to allow me a brief leave
of absence, and now I ni tree.".'l,came
to yon, sir, hearing that you are a young
lawyer of integrity, who will hot easily
be corrupted by the aitful representa
tions ot lfalph Dorle." '
"We will soon put an end to his ty
rannical course," I observed, important
ly making an entry in my memorandum
book. I was at that moment, let me
confess it, considerably flattered by the
circumstance of the young iady refer
ring the case to me, a brietless young
lawyer. 1 thought, besides, that Miss
Kloanor Buftins was altogether the pret
tiest and most engaging girl I had ever
had the good fortune to meet; all my
sympathies were aroused in her behalf.
It was one ot those romantic episodes
in the life of a professional mau that
might lead to fortune and fame. I al
ready fancied myself in a "brown stone
front," and, in tlie glowing enthusiasm
of youthful imagination, pictured my
self as standing at the head of my pro
fession. "The first step necessary to be taken."
pursued I, "is to obtain the release of
your good mother ; the next to save
you from the persecution of your un
natural guardian. I'll tell you what I
will do I will go round and see Dorle
myself. It might frighten him a little,
and, rather than risk a public exposure,
he will lie quite
ready to effect a corn-
promise. .
"If yon are resolved upon seeing him,"
remarked Miss Eleanor, hesitatingly,
"may I beg the favor of accompanying
you ?"
"Certainly," I replied, with a glance
of warm admiration at the plump little
beauty. "I have not the slightest ob
jection. Miall we go now i
"As you please, sir."
I took down my hat from its peg,
without another word, put on my best
kids, which I always liad ready, in a
side jitK.ket, for extra occasions, and,
with a low bow to Miss Eleanor, gallant'-
offered her my arm. She accept
ed it, unhesitatingly, and wo stepped
out into the passage. I was in hopes
of running the bh:kadc without en
countering the critical eje of my man
servant. De'usive hopo ! Just as we
fairly reached the door, Jenks made his
appearance, and civilly opened it.
"Jenks," said I, quite vexed at the
officious politeness of the scoundrel "it
any one calls, tell 'em they needn't
wait. Important, business will detain
me out this afternooi
"All right, sir," replied Jenks, scrut
inizing Miss Hnfhns with a vulgar leer
"Hang tho fellow," I mentally ejac
ulated. "He is positively laughing in
his sleeve at me. I wonder if he has
the impudence to suppose, this girl is
Ituh v 1 ciaculateu aloud : whereupon
my fair companion started and said
"Sir?" in an interrogative tone and I
heartily aiiologized. I could have
killed Jenks oa the spot ! I was in the
mood to do it. I could have shot him,
stabbed him with a dirk, or bayonetted
him in zouave style; but it required
some self-possession to conceal my wrath,
and softly replied, "Oh, nothing, miss,"
and still muttering awful threats of
vengeance against my aggravating man
servant, I conveyed my lady friend into
the street., " - :'fV ii.
After we had walked a few blocks
in silence, Miss IJuflins carelessly ob
served :
"Mr. Belgravc, my watch has stopped.
Can you tell mi what time it is?"
"Let me see," I replied, ostentatious
ly displaying my own handsome "hunt
ing case." "It is jusfi four o'clock."
"What a pity J" exclaimed the young
lady, in a tone of disappointment. "I
intended tp get the eheckv-of sDorle
cashed, but of cousre I am too late.
The banks are closed. Mother's sad
fate has so engrossed my thoughts, that
I quite forgot about it until this mo-
5 "Don't disturb? yourself on..hat ac
count, said I, politely. "If the amount
is not too large, perhaps I may be able
to cash it tor you, myself." rs
"You- arp very, kind," rejouicd JJiss
Boffins, with a s sweet . amfeA The
amount is over four, luindrcd dollars."
i 1 bit iay lip. Tlie sum was larger
than I anticipated.6 However as? I had
made the proposition, I was too proud
to recede. t
"I am sorry that I havo not so ranch
at my command," I remarked, . apolo
getically ; "but I think ; I can find a
substitute at the next store, Grindwell
& Co.- Tho firm are friends of mine,
and will doubtless cash tlie check, as
a personal favor," Vs if -a ,f '.
f Leaving Miss Bo ffinsontside, I walk
ed into the office of Grindwell & Co."V "
"Good afternoon, Mr. Grindwell,'
shaking hands, with the principal part
ner, who wore ppectac.les.ayd. a high5
shirt collar; ,lllowV cotton today?"
"Cotton is up, and up is .down,'? re
plied the merchant, facetiously. Take,
a-seat, IJelgrave." , : . .. .... :
"'Can't stay fact is, Griiidwell, I
called in to see if you would cash a
check lor we ?" ...
"Certainly, with pleasure," responded
Grindwell, looking at the document.
"iSecona Jvational J funic, JVero York
pay to tlie bearer or order four hun
d-ed anct fifty doUdm Jialph
JJorle." - -
"What's this, Belgrave, eh, eh ?"
1 was willing to havo him think
so I only laughed and shook my head
mysteriously. . v . ..
"Good for, a start, upon my word
IJelgrave," said tlie merchant. "By
the by, he added,' pleasantly "who is
that pretty rnrl you aire escorting ?"
"Tliat's a secret, I ansjrered, with a
knowing wink.; "Tell you some other
time." v
"Ha ha, ha ' lauglied Grindwell
"You are an uncommon dry fellow
shrewd, devilish shrewd T ,
I could hot hetir tEnfcihg1 1 rrij-seTf;
as I departed with the greenbacks in
my hand.
Miss Eleanor Buffi ns was kicking her
pretty shaped gaiter boots against the
stoop, with some -impatience, as I pres
ently rejoined her.
"Keally Mr. IJelgraye, I am sorry to
put yon to all this trouble, she said,
with one of her winning smiles, as she
received the money and deposited it
safely in her wallet.1 "It is certainly
kind, but we have in? time to lose. If
we do not hurry, we may miss seeing
Doric. I wish him to understand that
I cannot and will not submit to his
tyrannical usurpation of authority."
I secretly applauded the spirit of my
lovely client, and, talking pleasantly to
beguile the time, we hastened tip Broad
way, threaded tho intricacies ot Bleeker
street, and in less than half an hour
halted in front of a plain-looking man
sion, ornamented with an old-fashioned,
brass knocker.
"We have reached Mr. Dorle'sJ
whispered my fair companion, drawing
nearer to me, and trembling like & leaf".
"I feel my courage deserting me, now I
am here. He is a cruel man. I fear
that he may use violence, when he un
derstands that that you have con
sented to Ixj my friend.
"Be calm, Miss Eleanor. Nav,
perceive you are greatly. agitated. Yon
can remain outside until I return.
really see no necessity of your entering
the house at all."
"I will do just as you say," murmur
ed ..Miss E'eauor, faintly. ,
Of course, under the circumstances,
it could only add to her excitement to
confront Iier guardian just then ; so I
requested her to ftcp hi a drng-store
nearby and wait forme. She obeyed
witliont hesitation, while-Jj somewhat
flurried with the prospect ot a stormy
interview with her guardian, hastened
to announce my presence.
A dirty -faced servant-girl presented
herself, in answer to my summons. jlr,
Balph Dorle was in. Handing the
maid my card, I crept into a dark parlor,
where I sat in solitude and gloom, amus
ing myself by drawing a fancy picture
ot the artful Mr. Dorle, whom I imagin
ed to be an ugly old gentleman on the
shady side of fifty, with a cunning, evil
expression on his wrinkled features, but
was somewhat confused, when the door
opened, to confront a pleasant, benevo-
ler.t-faccd old gentleman, who bowed
in the most genial manner possible.
"Mr. Balph Dorle," I stammered,
hesitatingly. -
"That's my name, Mr. Belgrave,1
said Eleanor's guardian, sm'ling, as he
threw open the blinds, ml waved me
to a seat. " You must excuse this hermit-looking
apartment ; my house looks
like a tomb since Eleanor left us. 1'oor
cirl she is yet to learn tlie sad news
of her mother's death.
; "Mrs. Buffins is dead then ?" I said,
with a start.
; "Yes, sir, she died yesterday morn
ing, at four o'clock, quite peacefully, so
I learned from the attendant physicians.
Tho distressing malady which had
afflicted her for several years took a fatal
turn, as wo all feared. .Poor Eleanor is
how an orphan."
e I was quite chop-fallen' by this unex
pected and startling news. It had npset
all my calculations at one fell blow. 1
was unable to realize it. $
To ease myself of an uu pleasant sus
picion, I inquired.
"When did Eleanor leave , toomo ?"
f "About six months ago," replied Mr.
Dorle, staring at mo with an odd ex
pression, of surprise. ' ' : !
; His reply mystified mo more than
ever.
"Why," rejoined I,, she assured me
that she escaped from your house, this
very morning." . ; .. V ',
You speak in enigmas, Mr. Belgrave.
A ro you awaro that my ward, Miss
Eleanor, is now! in Paris, .where slie is
completing her 'rndimentary education.
. i was agiiast., :. "... s;
"Good Heavens.'" I exclaimed, at
last ; "here is some mystery that needs
cfcaring up," and without hesitation I
fiapidly recapitulated how and where I
had become acquainted with . iss LSut
tins. ' "- -;:.f -.
u1 regret to sa v that vou have been
dnped and deceived by a wily and art
ful impostor," said Mr." Dorle, gravely.
"The genuine Miss Buffins is it Utile
girl but nine year old" 1 ' !
it a thunderbolt had fallen at my
feet I could not have been more amazed.
I gazed like one in a dream at Mr.
Dorle, and slowly reason began to dawn
on my mind. Mechanical !y'! 1 'placed
my S hand td ' my fob and . found my
watch gone: Then I dived desperately
into my breeches pocket, and discovered
that my wallet, containing fifty dollars,
was also missmcr: so that my wnoie
loss by, this misadventure might be sum
med up as follows :
Amount on Forged Check. . . ..$450 00
Value cf Watch and Chain . , ..... .f "J5Q 00
, $50 00
Total ....$850 00
As soon as my legs could take me to
the police station, I made known my
loss to the authorities, and a force ot
detectives was instantly put upon the
track of the false Miss Buffins ; but she
had availed herself of my brief inter
view with Mr. Dorle, and, in the interim,
had made good her escape with her ill
cotten booty. -'" i:Ji v';:;;
I sever heard from her or my missing
property again ; bat I consoled tnyelt
tor this treble disaster, Hby summarily
discharging my genteel man-servant,
"Jenks," wlw, I suspected, laughed io
his sleeve at my simplicity and credulity.
I don't know whether I could possibly
prove it ; but it was enough to.eee tltat
I was the laughing-stock of , every mid
dlihg"" lawyer and pettifogger, from
Chambers street to the purlieus of the
tombs; and, though I strove manfully
against the torrent of ridicule that en
gulfed me, it proved too much for a
young man of my slender legal attain
ments, and in a tew weeks I quietly
hauled down my sign and became a
broker's clerk, with no lingering ambi
tion to figure as a "notary public,' or
even enroll ray name among tlie dusty
hies of Polico Court. ...
How aid Peter Bennt Won His Case.
If Alexander II. Stephens should be
at home and his mind not absorbed by
public affairs, the visitor will rind in
him one of the best and most prolific
anecdotists of the day.
One story alas that he cannot sit in
the types to tell it ! is the Peter Ben
net speech. A Dr. Koyston, doubtless
a most excellent man,: bad sued 31 r.
Bcnnct, a farmer, tor his bill. " Little
Aleck," as Alexander is minified by his
friends, told his client, Peter B., that
the case ot service and its value were
proved against him in legal form and
there was no real defense. But the old
farmer insisted that his lawyer should
"ciixi lr tr f Via men Yf ' KtArihAne .- !1
him that lie onght to speak 1 himself if
he thought a speeoh could be made,aud
was surprised by the retort, " I will, if
Bobby Toombs won't be too liard on
me." iir. l combs promised and I'eler
Bonnet began :
"Gentlemen of the jury, I ain't no
lawyer and , no doctor, and you ain't
nuther. And it we farmers don't stick
together, these here doctors and lawyers
will get the advantage ot us. 1 ain't
got no objections to lawyers and doc
tors in their place, and some : is clever
men, but they ain't farmers, gentlemen
of the jury. Now this Dr. Koyston
was a new doctor, anil 1 sent lor hun to
doctor my wife's sore leg. And he did,
and put some salve truck on it and some
rags, but never done it a bit ot good,
gentlemen of the jnrv. 1 don't believe
he a no doctor no way. J here's doc
tors as I know is doctors, sure enough,
but this aurt no doctor at all.
This was evidently telling, and Dr.
Royston put in with, "Look at my di
ploma, and see if I am not a doctor."
"His diploma!" said the new-tied ged
orator, with great contempt. " 1 hat
ain't nothiu, fbr'no piece ot paper ever
made a tuctor vet."
"Ask my patients," shouted the now
furious physician. ... .. ,
J Lis was the conventional straw that
seeemed to break the back of the : ora.
tor's patience. " Ask your patients ! "
he said, "your patients Why,they'b
all dead." J hen, in rapid dec lama
tion, he named case after case, well
known, but mostly amontr the nesrro
servants ot his neighbors, where his op
ponent had treated them, and their
owners buried, them, and contimud
" Ask your patients ! Wrhy, I would
have to seek them in the lonesome
churchyard, and rap on tlie silent tomb
to get answers from the dead, lou
know they can't say nothin' to this case,
for you've killed them all ! " " Tlie ap
plause closed the speech, and the defen
dant won hta case,
Homk-Made Cream Candy. To a
coffee-cupful of white ' sugar add two
tablespoontula ot water to dissolve it,
and boil, without stirring, io a bright
tin pan until it will crisp in. , water like
molasaes candy. . Just before it is done
put in a teaspoontul of extract of vanilla.
or lemon or peppermint essence, and a
quarter of a teaspoonful of cream tartar.
When done, pour out into a' buttered
pan, and when cool enough to handle,
work it as you would molasses candy
until it is perfectly white, then stretch
and lay on a marble slab or molding-
board ; with a chopping knife cut into
mouthfuls and lay it on buttered paper
on a plate. .When children want candy,
by all means let them have ! that made
at home,' and they will hot eat plaster
of paris, 4 clmlk, starch and poisonous
compounds which derange their stomach
and ruin their teeth. - . .. , -
A letter from Brick iat, .Umatilla
county, says: "Tlie wjmrrels are not so
numerous this spring M- tiiey were last;
besides, we haro invented a ' machine
with whioli we thmk they cati 1 exter
minated. We born sulphur and ras in
the machine and blow the smoke into
tlieir ltolesiio.lt-has proved. n entire
success, as we have dog them out dead
from life lM)tie&fe! fforaiiJwIiere f the
smoke was blown into tlie hole. For
two years past, the squirrels have de
stroyed our - wheat and oaU entirely.
Everybody was .discouraged, and 'had
given up the hope of trying to raise
grain anymore. ' But the introduction
of this machine and the success attending
its use seems to have infused . new life
into our squirrel-plagued section. . Eve
rybody is breaking all the sod they can
ami preparing to bow a big wheat crop
this fall.
Cash
voon ot bats is kesucmy.
My friend Colonel Budd called my
attention to tho increase of mora's on the
part of the Legislature only this morn-
ing. lie said ; . "1 can readily Torgivc,
sir, any omission ot my correct title in
addressing me, as I see was the case in
your report of the meeting between my
self and Ensign Mulligan, a few days
agor but, notwithstanding my mode, ly,
and small desire for blood, when it
comes to a friendly meeting day after
day, I must, in honor to my soldierly
achievements and to my position inciyil
life, insist that you shall either call me
"Mister" or Colonel" jost as yon
please; -but (with dignity) I am not a
Major sir;" The necessary correction
was made at once, when the Colonel
proceeded,- with an affability and polite
ness that I have rarely seen excelled ;
even ui the more southern States, to tell
what lie knew about poker playing in
Frankfort. Ila said : "1 have frequent
ly seen, sir, in this Capital and I am
sorely hurt, sir, that things have so
vastly changed -as much as $500 bet
on a pair of deuces." j r : .
"In money ?" I eagerly inquired.
"In money ? No, sir. A Kentucky
gentleman has no occasion to carry his
bank around with him. He marks his
winnings and losings on his shirt-cuffs,
and when the latter exceed the former
he sends his linen to wash, and the
whole score is wiped out. I shall never
forget," the Colonel continued, shaking
his fat sides in mirth, "the hand that
was played between judge Peterbaugk
and Colonel Tanzy, five or six years ago.
1 don t know what either ot them had,
but both of them had all their money
on the table, and Colonel Tanzy, draw
ing a check out of his pocket, hi led it
id said : "I raise you, sir, 850."
Judge Peterbaugh gave an anxious
glance at his ltand, and being satisfied
with its contents, apparently, called tor
blank check himself, and rapidly fill
ing it up and throwing it upon the table,
said : "I see your raise, sir, and go
you 200 better." "I am siucerely
grieved at the circumstance," the Col
onel replied, "but I must play my hand;"
and calling for another check and filling
it np, he wentjthe Judge a thousand bet
ter. "Oh, that's a mere bcgatelle,"
remarked the Judge. "I have a check
here for the balance of the money in the
world, and I guess yon can t raise me
above that." That was a settler ; and
tlie Judge took the money : but I don't
think I ever enjoyed myself so much as
when the Colonrl'd and the Judo's
checks were taken down to the bank, the
next day and both were found to be
quite worthless. The Judge," the Col
onel went on to say, "was very fond of
a quiet game of draw, ami, when he
could come in on two pair, didn't care
whether his Judicial Circuit went to
or not. At the Capital cue night
there was a big pot on the table and it
came down between tho J udge and. a
member from the saw log region. They
bo tn seemed to have good hands, and,
after the preliminary betting, the Judge
raised his antagonist $20 all the money
he had before him.
' "I see that raise,'' exclaimed the saw
log man, nervously shoving his cards
together, "and go you this pocket-book
better," producing an old leatlier wallet
with fifty or a hundred wraps about it.
i "Oh, you do, do j'ou ?" said the
Judge, suspiciously eyeing the battered
receptacle of wealth. "Well, then, I
am forced under the circumstances"
reaching down into his overcoat pocket
and producing half a dozen bran ner
wallets ' to go you five pocket books
better." Both gentlemen got their pis
tols out about that time, and the deli
cate matter of examining the pocket
books was referred to a committee of
three of the by standers, who reported
that there was nothing in any of the
wallets.: when the Judire and the lum
berman cordially shook hands across the
board, and the game went on. .
"I never saw the Judge lay down
but one baud " the Colonei remarked
as lie carefully brushed some particles
ot sand oft the curbstone with tho end
of his cane, "and that was under rather
peculiar circumstances, The Judge and
I had been up to Louisa, on the Big
Sandy, getting some counterfeit money,
and a few . poisoned chicken-gaffs, to
fight a man with at Louisville, when
we Jell in at'Catlettsburgh with a ban-
dian hellbent on ' playiDgpoker. He
didn't know anything more about poker
than the babes in tlie woods, but wo
humored htm when we got down to
business on the boat, ami he came near
breaking the whole party by his raises
and : bets. Once the Judge, who had
fours, called him. . "Oh, Pve got you
this time I" . the fiy.np tho creek said.
They told mo before I left home that
a full was three of one kind aud two of
another : here they are, three spades and
pair of hearts!" Well, tho Judsre
warned him that time, but not likinn
the idea of having laid down so many
good hands previously on the sucker's
Conception r a "full," set up a little job
on the stranger.'1 We all came in ; each
one urewacam. it was the Big Sandy's
mai'c. Hdml; rriiA.A4 ....... !-.... prn .
9 . .. .. j in? lllCb lUttll OC b ?OSJ J
tlie second raised him fifty i I saw the
raise and went them a hundred better;
thei Judge saw the raiso and: went a
hund rod better, still, -Tlie Big Sandian
went clear down to his boot, and pro
duced iis ffroIP! and a huge iiavy re
volver. J? rom the rotl of rrveenbacks
he carefully counted out a lot of money,
and said : 'There's the 900 it takes
me to call ; now; What have you got?"
The first fellow said t "Well, I've
only : got a little pair tens and tens."
The next man said r "I jst spot you ;
Iv tmt. fnur inUs " I lUVSClt had tOUf I
queens, which I showed iqwu the board,
when greatly to my "astonishment, tha'
Big Sandy man threw font kings upon
the fable, and putting hisr immense pis.
to! in
dangerous
proximity with tho'
Judge's head, muttered in anassassin's
tone of voice. "Now jou son of
satan, there are four kings ; what havo
you got?". The pistol was too much
for the Judge. He had the small mat-;
tor of four aces, but there was "bnsiness""
in the stranger's eye. So he threw his
four "bullets" into the deck, and said,
"Oh,: my; dear fellow, you beat me I.
was only bluffing." And. so the Judge 1
laid down;and the Big Sandy ruffian''
got away with the boodle."
Tlie Wex Uerman War"
Tba(other day a German "called on '
groeer to pay a Tpill, giviil him a $10
note. . "" ; - - 1 -
The grocer examined' it" closely, and
said. - ... " ,
" II ullo, wl lero d id joirget th is note?'
"Yot is de reasons mit doso notes?'
replied the honest Teuton;- "don't 6ho
vash good, hem?"
"Good?" answered the grocer ; .'wny
you're a lucky man that note is worth'
$10 50." . . ; , .
"Ish dot so? Why for? ' . . .
' You ' see the signature over' hero
UOI1 t VOIli
j , . . . ..... :
"Dose things like a corkscrew rnitde
worms? Yah."
"Well, that's Spinner's signature."
"Yell?"
"Well, Mr. Xew is now Treasurer ot?
the United States."
"Yon don't tole me so. Yell.""
"Well, and notes signed by Spinner"
are getting scarce, and people pay five
per cent, more for them than for tho;
new issue.". '" -. ;. ,
"By shimminy, ish dot so?"
"Yes. Lemine see your bills. Why'
every one of them is a Spinnerl Man1
alive, your fortune is made."
In pursuance of the grocer s ad vice,-
Mr. Schneider called at the Sub-Treas--
ury, Saturday afternoon, to get tho pre
mium on his bills. -What success he
haul it is impossible to state, but ho was
seen later in the evening lurking round
the street by which the grocer must go"
home, and on being accosted ' by anv-
acquaintance the following conversation;
took place:
"Der peebles von bharmany fights
well, hein?" "
tst. t tf- . : .
oiijct. lilts .Tcniiiii itre uinjuestioii-
ably a military nation of'tiie first class."
"borne big tights, hem? Leipsic
'Yes."
"Cud Sadowa?"
"Yes." '
TCrtninrnrfn try?'
"Certainly."
"Und Worth, mid Mars-la-Tour.uiKl1
Gravelotte, und Sedan?"
"Of coui-se, of course." -
"Dose was all big battles, nlid. der1'
Deutsch licked?"
"Yes."
"Yell, yon joost waits till dat grocery
store shnLs himself, und you saw ar
Dcutch victory vot makes you forgot alf1
dem little ones."
How to Choosk Mkat -It is al-
ways important to know Jiow to choose
meat in buying. - Ox meat should boot
fine grain or fibre, the flesh or meat ot R
bright red color and firm, the fait white,
and distributed throughout tho lean y
it should not bo j'ellow r semi-fluid.
It the meat is entirely lean it will bo
tough and its nutritive power is low.
Yeal is dry it fresh. It should be close
grained. If the meat is moist and tlab
by it is stale. Mutton should be of
ciear ueep iuiik tiov; uiui aim wiui .a
liberal supply of fat. Fine wether muV .
ton may be recognized by the presei.co'
ot a small mass of fat on the npper part
of the leg. It is more nutritious than?
ordinary mutton, and the darker its tint,
the -finer its flavor. Pork should be of "
a pale deep pink tint, aud the fat very'
firm. It it is soft or it the fat is yellow
the meat is bad. . If it is semi-fluid the
animal has probably been fed on flesh.
About one-fourth of a mile from Pilot
rock, Umatilla county, in the direction
of Alta, Mr. Sturtevant had a stack of '
hay containing about fifteen tons, and .
John Carr another stack, or an interest
in Mr. Staurtevant's of eight tons more.-
This riTT'WK firort Ym. soma !tvails'
fiend on Tuesday morning, last week,- '
about 2 o'clock (as is supposed), and of
eowrse, entirely, consumed. No doubt'
ie entertained by the good people in tlia
section that the hay waa set on fire.-'
The stacks were ofTthe line of travel;
and no person had occasion to go there;'
and there are other reasons, not neces--sary
to state, why such a- conclusion is
arrivetl at. -
Tho Walla Walla Ionian of the 1 1th1
says: "Tho Indians, known as JtsephHr
band, consisting ot about 100, big aud
little, with a largo cavalcade of horses
loaded with their ictas, including wig-'
warn poles "' and pappooses, passed
through town on Thursday en router
from the Wallows to tnJ Umatilla res
ervation, where they are going to have'
a great horse race. They wero the;
finest body of Indians we havo seen for
years. They had some fino horses wn lt
them. Among the number we noticed
a counterpart ot Barnum's wooly horse.
Joseph, like his namesake of old, wro
garments of many colors." t F..
A correspondent gives a very touch
in" description of a scene of domestic'
felTcity he witnessed at the home ot ri.
young married couplo in Conneeticut. i
"I came upon them quite unextectelly,"; ,:
he writes. "She was sitting in the front
parlor eating peanuts and he was crawl
ing around on his knees picking up the'
shells."