3 ',j.
VOLUME VIII.
ALBANY, OREGON, JANUARY 7, 1876.
NO. 16.
BUSINESS &YHDS.
SAMUEL. E. YOUNG,
1 thhesisers,
reapers & mowers,
viagous, plows,
. :XEED. DRILLS,
BROADCST SEED
SOWERS, ETC.
First
itmt, Alaaaiy, rrl;on.
Terms :
Cash.
M20r7
Ameriesa t f Exchange Hetel.
Cor. Front and Washington sts.
AlJUSV, . ... OBlXiOX.
THE A?5iRie?rX fiXCHAjtGE , HOTEL,
so popular trhScr the frtrnrvr raim;' men I ,
Will be transferreU on tho 1st of October, to Mr.
8. W. EUDV. Mr. Eddy, in addition to beinff
a flnt class caterer, is thorough in the hotel
business, sept. 2i;7 5-tt.
glcsCliarles Hotel,
C.rner Washing-ton and First Sts.,
cbAIiS&' OREGOSi,
Matthews & Morrison,
PROPRIETORS.
Jlaiiaswiwly rm isliel thronsrhont. The
best-the trmrfcet Hflerds always on the table.
Free t'MCh to and fro in (be Ilonse.
P. C. HARPER A. CO.,
Dealers in
33 3E1. 'lc3S -
Clothing-, Boots mtd Shoes, Hitta, tiroee
rlnt, Fanr; IJoods, olioiiK, Mioton
ad Pistols, Sails, Itope, Mirrors,
Wallpaper, Wood and Willow
Ware, Tram lis and Valises,
Sold very low either for cash, or ib prompt pay-
Raising and Moving Buildings.
WETHE-CXDEKSIGNEn BEG LEAVE TO
announce to the citisaMfnrfTAttmtiy and
' surrounding eonntry that.itt'vin -supplied our
selves whit the necessary niaehinery for vui
ina and removing Imihlinsrs. we are ready at all
tittle to receive orders for sneh work, which
re will do in short or lcr af lowest rates. We
goanntra entire satisfaction in all work nnder
tMken by us.
, , -Orders left at, the Reoisteb office promptly
: J ftrnfiriLG4Hl'ly to.
AluaT B AXTY, ALLEN CO.
Or April 23. 1373. 2fiv7
-CKOM AN!
:i AFT&R. PATE. I7NTIL Full-
tber not lee, f naight Croat tiitiU i
- PORTLAND to ALBASV
WILL BE
ON-E, J0LLAU,.PER T0.
AH cknrn freight will be delivered at POKT
LASD or ASTORIA.
Free or Drayagc and Wliarrage,
J At Reduced Rates.
Boats wB leave ALBANY" for COKVALLIS or
PORTLAND
For further particulars, apply to-
4? TBEAC'II & WOSTETTM,
AMmy,Nov-2d, Tt-l? Agents
Oil AS.
TfTfitTTiniilil JL
KOKT M'CA'.LfcT.
McCALLEY,
ARE NOW OPENING A M A G.N I F I U K N T
stock of ...
FALL AID WIXTEIl GOODS !
elected wltlr care, and bought for coin at
Scandalously Imw Figures
' end as we bought low we ran and will sell them'
at prices that will
"iczn'.-hj Everybody.
I Co
Co' e a". I see c. selection i of t M f
"l -V .l W 1 :: J1lMne i , ,
V h IlX -wla, i
" Krlitlantenk
flfarseillea,
Fonlins,. -
H!Sion, Collars, CToriarettca,
Laces, ftc, &c,
for the ladies, and our complete lines of , Y
Readymade Clothing,
Hosiery,
. '-' Cotionades, .
--,- - - - IMBUBCaot
aaoi
Haw,
of all descriptions fcr men ami boy s.
assortments of
Xter, forll
Grc:2ricsr Cr::isry and Glassware.
r everybody,. , .-.,
The best goods, at the lowest rates every time
--arrCome and see. -.. n-. .
Furniture V7arcroomo.
FRED GRAF, 1
HAVING porchawd the entlrn Interest of t.
Collar in the into firm of Graf Collar, in
the fnrnnre l"iw!r-si, talces tha oprwrr-mity
to rernrn his t "an twiiwer ciias-n" ct Aiwy
sndvK iaitv hm l.rtve s x' txerrv- ? ttron
l-d iii'n in t-o i".tt ari).' r'tti ,.' ai a
" m H"i -s -A1J himi of Utts
ainire k , i , so,, s,rj! nuiusfu'tnred toorder
at ktweM. r;tt.-s. i'lifcU GiAF.
Aiatij-, Nov. 13-v8n8
Hqijx.o Interests
Canada on the War Path.
Lebanon, .Tan. 1st. 187G.
I thought a few lines from the "Forks"
would be ol Interest to your readers. Every
thing glide? smoothly along during the
holidays. The only notable thing that
occurred in that region- was a dance near
Providence Church, and it was one long to
be remembered. The leading characters
in the dance were four young men whom
We will call Scarfaeed Charley, Shackhasty
Jim. Sixfoot John and the Hydraulic Ram.
who came to the city last Friday, Dec. 24th.
and made a hi id on a fish berry juice es
tablishment. The victory being in; their
favor, each secured a bottle of juice. As
there are no negroes in the burg, they
songhtand found the China wash-house,
and made a furious charge upon it, and
Were vigorously repelled by the inmates
thereof; but by tile aid of the Hydraulic
Bam tlie defendants were eventually over
powered. The victory being complete,
they left town for their grds and the dance,
yelling something like Si washes oh the war
patbv There were forty numbers and five
gallons of juice at the dance and how many
there were drunk, we leave it to the reader
to judge ; but from all accounts it was the
mast ridiculous thing that Canada has
witnessed for many a day. One young
gentleman (excuse the expression), waltzed
around the room, with his gal on his arm
and a bottlo of juice in his hand, drinking
aud treating ; aud from this they quarreled
anb fought "till broad daylight, and went
home with the gals in the morning." My
information .vas obtained from iu eye wit
ness. - . ' H. Y. Z.
P. S. Albany would do well to send a
man to our next dance to take items, so
that yon would know how to carry on one
in style. -. -; : . , .-
Choice City Property tor Sale.
Mr. Milton Beach oilers for sale his elegant
property, on corner of Calipooia and Third
streets, consisting ot two lots, inclosed with
a picker, fence, on which there is a goxl
residence, barn. etc. ; also, his large two
story frame buisiness house on First street.
The property is of the most valuable kind,
and can be obtained at a bargain. For
further information read the advertisement
in this issue, and call on Mr. Beach at his
residence.
Bead Tins. Parties who get their cop
ies of the Registem at -the postoflice, but
who failed to get a copy last week, will
oblige by cutting the name off of the mar
gin ot the last paper they received and
handing it to us. The gaily containing
about 90 names was unfortunately pied, and
we have no means of getting at the names
or the proper credits attaching to each oth
er than as above. Please attend to this,
and oblige us.
SonROWFtL News. Mr. W. P. Ralston.
I ofT.ihis -city. . on Tuesday received a tele
gram from Tacoma, XV. T that his two
nephews, John, aged 10, and Harry, aged
10. sons of Joseph Ralston, were accidental
ly drowned in the Sound, near Tacoma.
December 29th. 1S75. Xo particulars re
ceived., : They were bright, interesting boys.
a'd their .sudden death has almost driven
the mother and father distracted with
grief.';...' - .... ;
IEAt. Miss Mary Conn.cldest daughter
of Sir. Robert Couii. who resides about
fonr miles east of this city, departed this
lite about 2 o'clock on Tnelny morning
last aged iibout twenty years; of typhoid
fever Funeral sermon preached at the M.
E. Church on Wednesday at 1:30 p. m..
by Rev. Mr. Van Dermal.
EntebtaIsmknt. Linn Engine Co.,
will give a grand entertainment at Pacific
Opera House, on the evening of February
2Jd." The Committee having the matter in
charge, ennrtnx the brtsinessr h haul tholf-obghlyn-therefore
we may expect a splen
did literary and social entertainment on
that occasion.
Come TO the Front. At the regitfar
monthly meeting of Linn Engine Co. No.
.2, jVIonday evening, the ComtnitU'eon Uni
forms was instructed to order material for
the shirts. jAJl who wish to be , uniformed
in time for the grand blow out on the 22d
pro'-f wif) give their names to the Com
mittee. The 'Picti'kes Taken by Bsixton.' at
Ms, alleryMi Froman's new brick; are mi
excelled by any artist ot the Pacific coast,
weearnestly believe. Go and try a sitting.
He warrants satisfaction or no pay. V
Rev. I. AVIIson writes us from Eugene
flfy itrd 5servuig ffie week'of' . prayer in
that city. May the Lord prosper the work.
We are nnder" obligations to Bro. Wilson
or,4ivoys, rJj . . . . ,
, Mr. Seth XV. Eddy, uf the American Ex
change, will spare no pains to secure the
comfort of all guests of the house. And
fts f If becarpQ 8ath,s got big heart in him.
Opened OCTSIessrs. St;hmeer Se Mil
ler liave opened ont in,fh new betiding
feniinst the' Enrplre BAkery.wIiere yoan
get joor;oyster8 as oi like them. k
..;:-';...',! :- .:r - . m ,' !."-..-
IlAtt. Linn Engine Company
h&& engaged the the hall in Burkitart's brick
over Grauwohrs store, where meetings will
hereafter be held. , ' '
: ITie St. Charles still maintains its name
as the way op hotel for the weary traveler
Tlie new City Council met on Monday
evening;, and were sworn in.
OUR NEW YORK LETTER.
The cause of chime the mstress of
toe year and how it is met a mur
der, a week sympathy for murder
ers feminine devotion the shop
girl question tweed beecher
business.
New York, Dec. 30, 1875.
THE CAUSES OF CRIME.
The Committee Investigating the causes
of crime in this city are unearthing some"
terrible facts. Among others is the testi
mony of one of the first physicians of the
city. Dr. Elisha Harris, who declared that
the increase of criminals in tills city in the
past few' years was greater In proortion
than the increase of population fioni births
and immigration together. '.
Dr. Willard Parker, an authority of equal
standing, said that liquor was the chief
cause of the vice, crime. Idiocy and Insanity
in the country. All who have looked into
the cause and cure of crime agree that the
vicious classes must be made to work harder.
It is a notorious and patent tact that with
all the increase of wages and regulation of
hour3 in the last ten years, the condition
of tlie lower classes does not seem to be the
better tor the change. The complaint is
made by all employers that there is very
little, almost no fair return made for the
wages paid, no matter how liberal these
may be. The average; of work done in a
day with all tlie labor saving helps of the
time, is hardly half what It used to be In
the old times. JTrnv, that there is such an
outcry for work, employers bethink them-,
st-lves whether they cannot obtain their
own right of a day's work tor a day's pay.
The fact has rather been lost sight of, that
employers had any rights beyond that of
paving the most wages for the very least
that stupid aud idle help chose to do. Now
that the cry for bread comes so urgent
there is a chance to find whether the poor
are willing to work for their money rather
thau starve. Those of experience among
the lower classes of New York, are not
wanting who do not hesitate to say that
these had rather starve than work hard.
Certainly they will all beg. loaf, or cheat
in a mild way, sooner than stir themselves
to do a brisk day's work.
THE DISTRESS OF THE POOR.
Curious incidents come up among tlie
labors for the poor. One woman was
found with her five children iu the sixth
story of a wretched tenement house, where
she made a miserable living by washing.
Her children were without shoes in bitter
weather, and a kind merchant eiifc a sup
ply all round. The oldest girl objected to
them because they were laced with shoe'
strings, and button boots were the style
Tlie same family lost their father, a misera
ble wretch, who drank himself to death, and
were obliged to ask for charity to bury htm.
The teachers of the mission school who
helped them before, agreed to bear tlie ex
penses whereupon the old woman went
out aud ordered a liearse, with plumes, to
attend the funeral of the departed sot. A
member of the. city authorities told of a
poor fellow who had seen better days, who
came to him tor help as he was without a
position, or money. The official handed
him a five dolhtr bill, which he could spare
itone too well himself, but he was J-ather
sorry for it, when he found the first use the
fellow made of it was to go to the market
and order a pair of ducks tor dinner, taking
most ot the money which might have kept
the family in food for a week.
This may be considered apropos of the
study of crime, t jr such thriftlessness Is a
crime not ot the least dimensions. It ought
to count heavily against the laboring men
ot this and other cities, that with the high
wages of the last ten years. ' very few of
them have saved money. The idea it the
time Was to make money' not to save it,
ami to make it in many ways beside work
lug tor it.
ONE A WEEK.
A murder a week seems tlte regular
allowance, not counting nomieiues ol less
degree. The lastnad and shocking traitedy
is that of a yotnig Hebrew girl who has
not been long in this country anrt who was
brutally killed by her betrayer last Suutluy
night. The parties both have the reputa
tion of being exceptionally religious, and
carl-tut iu observing all the rites of their
Church, and fclie girl was much beloved by
the faintly ot the murderer. While a ser
vant iu tlie family she nursed him through a
long illness, and he seems to have really
loved her iu return. But hU wife was coin
ing over from the old country and there
was trouble ahead, and no way presented
itself out of the ditticniry, but murder. So
lie took, tlie girl to walk with him iu the
lonely outskirts ot East New York'. . And
stabbed tier, kneeling at his feet for mercy.
He betrayed himself by his anxiety to
show bow impossible it ws that he should
have killed a girl to witoru he was so purely
attached.
And. speaking of murders, ' there are at
this time four men under sentence tor be
hanged, and over thirty in the various pri
sons are waiting trial for the same offense.
v Tlie bloody villlwit Dolan, who killed
Noe. will probably escape the hanging he
so richly deserves. I'he politicians are,
moving heaven and earth to clear him,
and as they have succeeded in obtaining
two respites he will doubtless slide out all
together. There are in the same prison
three negroes :eouvleted of killing a Jew
peddler oh o stronger evidence titan that
against Dolan, but no one thinks ot moving
a respite for them. And while I am on
this subjeet,
, . THE STMPATHY
shown for murderers Is something curious.
I was at the prison, the other day, aud saw
broiled chickens, wine, rlcheakes and con
fectionery, tlie choicest cigars that had been
cent in to eouifort chose miserable murder'
ers. : The low-browed brutes are living,
better now tlian they ever did in tnelr
lives, aud tner seem- to expect it. They
growl, and consider themselves ill used,- if
they do not get these things every day.
It vt a niee thing to be. it murderer for a
IKtle While, V" " .
FEMININE DEVOTION.
' It is a thousand pities that the heroic de
votion shown by women in humble sta
tions of life could not find worthier obiects.
There is a young woman dying In hospital
of wounds given by her lover in a drunken
xs . ... --.1 . : l, f.n . : , . .1 I. . , .in i . i
in, in wijicij iks it i."4.ru iter arm tin lie oroKO
it ; yet the girl steadfastly refuses to say
one worn about tne quarrel for tear of
making trouble for him. Ii she dies with
out giving her testimony he cannot be con
victed, as she was the only witness. There i
was good blood In that girl, no matter what
she was. and a stout heart better worth
song and story than any we read about this
year. he brute goes out without trouble,
through tho devotion of the girl ; but all
the same, he leaves her to die miserably in
a hospital. .. , .
, THE SHOP-GIRL QUESTION.
pPtm ciinr crirl 2 'I t-f mnvillfr fni f lmtt f rvhta
It appears that they are compelled to report
for dutv at 8 A. M., and stay fill 7 P. M.,
with an hour for lunch at noon. What
they complain of now is the regulation
that Is made in all the stores from Stewart's
down, that they cannot sit down during
trade hours. Xo matter whether there be
customers or not. no matter If there be not
a soul in the store, the poor girl must stand
on her feet till the welcome stroke ot twelve
gives her an hour's respite. And then from
one to seven shestands again, till worn out
with fatigue slie crawls to her wretched
lodgings, only to go through the same tor
ture the next day. A number ot influen
tial ladies, the most prominent In fashiona
ble circles in the city, have taken the matter
in Hand, and tiave petitioned the leading
merchants to abrogate this rule, and per
mit the girls to sit when it can be done
without interfering with their duties. They
have examined some of the girls and found
them all afflicted with various veins, weak- !
uesa of the spine, and more or less with
female diseases, all of which medical men
ay, results from this practice. The mer
chants in defense, say that, to alter the
rule would be to do away with discipline,
and impair the efficiency' of tlieir help, and !
that tliey will not chanjre the rule. The
girls do this fearful amount of work for i
wages ranging from $3 00 to 87 00 ner
week, and severe as it is, were they all to
quit to-morrow, there would be ten thou
sand not only willing but anxious to take
their places. And they have Intimated to
the benevolent ladies that they had better
mind their own business.
But what I wanted to get at Is this :
what kind of a llfi is it that a girl leads
that compels her to work twelve hours
per day tor $ 3 pyr week ? She pays $ 6 for
her board, for which she gets a little hall
bed-room, without tire, and the vilest table
imaginable. Her washing she does partly
herself but that which she has to have done
costs her at least $ I per week. This leaves
her a dollar for clothes, medicines, and
what, luxuries she has. And miserable as
this life Is, there are twenty, thousand girls
in this this city to-day who would cry for
joy to get it. 1 he numbers who live In
garrets on such food as they can get for
almost nothing is appalling. Is it any
wonder that the bagnios are full to over
flowing, and that suicides are ot daily
occurrence ? It eems to me that life on
such terms would hardly be worth having.
TWEED
is still noii est, aud tlie meaning of it is no
one knows or can imagine where to look
for him. The official have a dozen theo
ries, but as not one ot them lead to tlie
place where he Is. they might as well have
none. The general impression is that he
is in good hiding in this City, waiting till
he can make terms with tlie city for an
unconditional release. This may, or may
not, be the correct idea, but whether the
venerable thief is In New York or Belgium,
he is doubtless waiting for a settlement in
a very safe place. His counsel are prepar
ing the way in the courts already, and
when they get through work the Boss will
make his'nppearance and take ciiarge of
the city once more. There is no danger of
his ever being caught. , He had his plans
too well laid, and there are too many prom
inent men interested in his escape for that.
BEECHER. 4
Plymouth Church is at last acting on
the offensive. Beecher and Shearman, ills
lawyer, have decided to no longer be quiet
but to strike back. They have refused
Mrs. Monlton's demand for an Investiga
tion, they have sonek-hed Deacon ; West,
and they have said to the other Congrega
tional Churches that were Interfering with
Plymouth, "What arc you going to do
aooutitr" lu short, Bro. Beecher pro-
pvses to paddle his own canoe witltoul any
interference from the otlier Churches.. He
feels that Plymouth Church is strong
enough to go on alone, aud lie don't care a
straw whether the Congregational body
recognizes it or not. Of coutse, the Other
Churches will refuse; to consider it as a
member of the general hotly, and Plymouth
cuurcii win stand alone an independent
noay an association all by itself. Mrs.
Tilton is keeping a boarding-house in
Brooklyn, and her daughter. Florence, is
doing copying for lawyers. Theodore is
lecturing in the West. Beecher, now. that
lie has taken the step. Is happy once more.
business. "
Ihef-e Is no such thing as business." The
merchants are doing nothing, that?-is, the
wholesalers. The retail people are doinga
fair holiday trade, and that U all. 'When I
say fair, I should say light, for it is not so
heavy by half as that of fornter yeaT3. All
oilier lines of trade are as dull as dull can
be. Thank yonr stars that yotl are not in
New York.
! t PIETRO. '
IN nE.WORIAat. .
Hall Brownsville Lodge, no. 86, 1.0.O.F., I
BBOW..SVILLK, January 1,1876. ; f
Tlie will of God Is accomplished.1"
'Whereas, It hath -pleased God, in His
all-wise providence, to call our beloved
brother John Caroline, from the midst ot
his labors on earth to bis reward In heaven,
be it . -,..""-.
Resolved, That in the deaf ft 6f brother
Caroline our community sustains the loss
of an active, upright and honorable eitizen ;
onr Lodge the loss of a beloved and worthy
brother, and his family the loss of an affec
tionate husband and father. , - :
Resolved, That with cliastened spirits
and subdued hearts we bow in bumble sub
mission to tlie will of Him who doeth all
things well, being by this providence again
reminded of oar approaching dissolution,
and the futility of all earthly hopes ; and
being further reminded of the great Import
ance of being ever ready to be called from
labor here to eternal refreshments hereafter.
; Revolted, That onr Secretary be directed
to furnish the bereaved family a copy here
of, and that he be instructed ti connection
lierewith to present to them In their' mo
ments of grief, the kindliest sympathies of
this Lodge, and that a copy ot these reso
lutions be spread on the minutes ot this
Lodge: " ' ... . :
' J?Mo?r7, ! That tlie Secretary fnrnlsh
copies hereof to the Albany Register,
States Rights Democrat and Cultivator lor
pnbllcntlon.
. W. 11. BISHOP,
. PETER HUME,
o. P. cosnow,
- Committee.
In mehobiam.
Hall Ekowksvillk Lodge, No. SO, t.O.O.E.,
snuwfsvu.i.E, jhti nary i, vain.
The will of God Is accomplished.
Whereas, It hath pleased God, in Ills
all-wise providence, to call bur beloved
brother, J. S. Brown, from the midst of
his labors on earth to his reward in heaven.
Resolved, That in the death of" brother
Brown our community, sustains the loss of
an active, upright and honorable citizen;
onr Lodge ;he loss Of a beloved and worthy
bro her, aud Ids companion tlie loss of an
affectionate husband.
Resolved, That with chastened spirits and
subdued hearts we bow in humble submis
sion to the will of Him who doeth all
things well; being by this providence again
reminded of our own approaching dissolu
tion, and the futility of all earthly hopes
and being further reminded of the great
importance of being ever ready to be called
from labor here to eternal refreshments
hereafter.
Risolvetl, That the Secretary be directed
to furnish the bereaved, parents a copy
hereof, and that he be instructed In con
nection herewith to present to them in their
moments of grief, the kindliest sympathies
of this Lodge, and tliat a copy of these
resolutions be spread on the minutes of
the Lodge.
Resolved, That the Secretary furnish a
copy hereof to the Albany Register,
States Rights Democrat and Cultivator, for
publication.
W. it. BISHOP,
PETER HUME,
O. P.COSHOW,
Committee.
Mrs. Smyth's Husband.
a record of certain negotiations
for a memorial tablet.
Tlie Widow Smyth called at air.
Mix's marble yard, the other day, and
tlie following conversation ensHed :
Mr. Smyth. "Mr. Mix, I am anxious
to have my cemetry lot fixed np; to
put in new tombstones and re-set the
railing, I called to see if I could make
some satisfactory arrangement with yon."
Mix. Certainly, madam. Tell roe
precisely what it is you want done."
Mrs. S. '-Well, I'd like to have ft
new tombstone put over the grave of
John my husband, you. know and to
have a nice inscription cut on it. Here
lies John Smyth, and so forth. Yon
know what I mean ; the usual way, ot
course, and maybe some kind of a design
on the rtotie, like a broken rosebud or
something."
Mix. "I understand."
Mrs. S. "Well, then, what'll you
charge me for getting np a headstone
just like hat, out of preUy good white
marble, and with a little picture ot a
torch upside down", or a weeping angel
on it, and the name of Thomas Smyth
cat on it."
Mix. "John Smyth, you mean."
; Mrs. S. "No, I mean Thomas."
Mix. 'But Vou said John before."
Mrs. S. "I, know, but that was my
first hiiaband. and Thomas was my sec
ond, and I want a new headstone for
each ot them. Now it seems to mo, Mr.
Mix that where a person is buying
more than one that way, you onght to
make some red net ion in the price 'throw
something off. Though, ot course, I
want a pretty gcod article at all the
graves. Not anything gorgeous, but
neat and tasteful, aud, calculated to
please the eye. Mr. Smyth was - not a
man who was fond of show. Give him
a thing comfortable, and he' was satis
tied. Now which do yon think is the
prettiest, to have the name in raised let.
ter in a straight line over the top of the
stone, or jnst to cot the words Alexan
der P. Smyth in a kind of a semicircle
in sunken letters?" , ,
Mix. "Did I understand you to say
Alexander V.I Were vou referring to
John or Tborffas?n
" Mrs; S "Of course" not.- Aleck was
my third. I'm not going to neglect his
grave wbile 1 m fixing up the rest. 1
wish to make a complete job of it, Mr.
Mix, while I am about it, and Im will
ing tor you to undertake it if : you are
reasonable in your charges. Now
what'll you charge rtfe for the lot, the
kind I've described, plain but substan
tial, and sunk about two feet, I 6).ould
think, at the head ot each grave?
What'll you charge me lor them tor
the whole four ?'
Mix. "Well, 111 put you in those
three heatdstones " .
Mrs. S.- "Four, Mr.: Mix."
? JVlix. "Four, was it ? No, there
was John, and Thomas, and Alexander
P. ThaVs&M you said, I thiuk. Only
three."
Mrs S. ".Why, I; want one tor my
AdoJph, as a matter ot course ; the same
as the others. I thought , you knew I
wanted one for Adolph, one made just
like John's ouly witu the name differ-
ent.- Adolph was my fourth husband
He died about three years after I buried
Philip, and I'm weariug mourning tor
him uow Now please give me your
prices for the whole of them."
Mix,. ."Well, madam, 1 went to be
as reasonable as I can, and I tell you
what 111 dot Yott give' me all yonr
work in the future, and Pit put you in
those ttvo headstones at hardly anything
above cost, say ' ' - , - -5 . .
Mrs.S. "Four headstones; not five."
Mix. "I thiuk you mentioned five."
-JSlreuS. ; ".No only tour." ' -
Mix. ' "Less see ; there, was John and
Thomas, and, Aleck, and Adolph and
Philip." ;
Mrs. S. "Yes, but Aleck and Phil
ip were the game one. His middle
name was Philip, and I always called
him Phil."
Mix. "Mrs. Smyth, Pll bo much
obliged to you if you'll tell me precisely
how many husbands you have planted
up in that cemetry lot. This thing's
getting a little mixed."
Mrs. S. " What do yon . mean, sir,
by saying planted? I never planted
any body. It's disgraceful to use such
language."
Mix. "It's a technical term, madam.
We always use it, and I don't see as it's
going to hurt any -"Id row of corpses
named Smyth. Planted is good enough
tor-other men, and it's good enough for
them."
Mrs. S. "Old row of. WhatM
yon mean, you impudent vagabond ? I
wouldn't let you put a headstone on one
of my graves if yon'd do it fbr nothing."
Then Mrs. Smyth flounced out of the
shop, and Mix called after her, as she
went through the door, "Lemme know
wlien you go for another man, and
I'll throw him in a tombstone fbr a wed
ding present. He'll want it soon."
An Extraortilnnry 9tan.
The Detroit Post tells of a most extra
ordinary person who has been giving ;
public exhibitions of several marvellous
feats, which confound the doctors and
astound all spectators. His name is
Thomas, and he is a short, thick-sel and
wonderfully muscular negro, who says
that he was born iu Sheffield, England,
and is thirty-five years of age. He was
in tho States several years ago. The
Post there decribes his performances :
Thomas claims to have a vdonble set
of ribs, one under the other, and is able !
to lower the inner set at pleasure, like !
the drop-curtain at a theater. This was
the first thing that he proceeded to ac
complish last evening. Baring his
breast and abdomen, about which there
is nothing unusual in appearance, he in
dulged in a variety of appalling abdomi
nal contortions, suggestive of a .severe
attack of colic, produced by a too free
indulgence in green apples, and presently
sure enough, the false ribs settled down,
and could be distinctly felt by pressure
upon the abdomen. Iu hifiiug the po
sition of the heart Thomas indulged in
a similar series of internal gymnastics,
and the heart could be seen to drop down
at least ten inches below the normal position-
Again, he was' able to shift it at
will to the right side, and back again to
its proper place with but little apparent
effort. No matter where the heart was,
the pulsations cou'd be distinctly secu
and felt. . Another feat no less puzzling
was the voluntary stoppage of the pulse.
One of the physicians applied a stetho
scope to Thomas' breast, the heart being
then where it properly belonged, while
two other persons each seized one of his
wrists and applied a finger to the pi use.
Suddenly the action of the heart and
pulse apparently ceased, and neither of
the three examiners was able to detect
the faintest pulsation. All this time
Thomas continued to converse in an or
dinary and natural tone. This singular
mau claims that he does not know by
what means he is able to accomplish
these wonderful performances, and says
that they do not cause him the sightest
pain or inconvenience.
In addition to his other peculiar ac
complishments Thomas is the possessor
of almoxt phenomenal strength. His
muscular devclvpmeut is something re
markable, lie gave a surprising aud
practical proof ot his strength last even
ing by rolling up his left sleeve aud
striking across his bare forearm a heavy
iron cane, three-fourths ot an inch iu
diameter, with such force as to bend the
cane very perceptibly with half a dozen
blows. Probably no ordinary man could
bend the iron rod by taking it in both
hands and striking it across an iron post.
Thomas' forearm is Covered with a thick,
calloused surface caused by the terrible
blows which he has rained upon it with
bis iron canes He claim" that on former
occasions he- lias succeeded1 in bending
an iron rod one and one-half inches thick
in the same manner -i He also says that
lie has lifted 4,300 pounds with the aid
ot harness. It is to be feared, however,
that Mr. Thomas is not strictly accurate
in all his statements. For instance, al
though apparently an illiterate person,
he claims to have graduated at a medical
college iu Edinburgh, Scotland, in 1850.
Now, inasmuch 8s he is only thirty-five
years of age, it would realty seem as if
there was .some- little mistake about this.
' This is how the Walla Walla States
man view s the. Alaska annexation : ; .
Senator Mitchell has introduced a bill
annexing Alaska to Washington Terri
tory. An improvement, iu our opinion,
would be to annex Puget Sound to Alas
ka, and transfer all tho river and eastern
comities to Oregon. This would make
Oregon a magnificent State, and at the
same time it Would leave tho "clam-eaters"
and "seal-catchers" in an organi
zation by themselves. It would also be
"in accordance with the eternal fitness
of things.". , . - -
''A-"r- : -'&' ' '' ' 'V
. Mr. ,, linrch, of Cow ereek, Dong
las county, the other day had one of his
hands badly -mar bled by the acoidentai
discharge oi-a gun, whica t
jug by the muzzle. -,: ,
3 was noia.
"I kinder like poetry," said a Wiscon.
sin farmer as he waited for bis mail,
"but there's nothing like coru-beet to
touch the exact spot.'
. The Annexation Project,
The -Walla .Walla Statesman and
Union of last week have leading articles
on the subject of annexing that portion
of Washington Territory to Oregon.
The Statesman says : ,
For years the Territory lias been in a '
comatose condition, and the sooner it is
allowed to die out the better. A proper
arrangement would be to give Oregon
the whole of the Puget Sound country,
and in exchange for this, organize tho
country cast of the mountains into a new
Territory. ' We should then have natu
ral boundaries, and an organization that
would secure harmony and a unity t
interests. With the "clam" country we
have nothing in common, and a political
union with the Sound people has became
distasteful - to a great1 majority ot our
people. : Th is arrangement, however,
we dispair of obtaining, and hence as n,
choice of evils, we favor annexation to
Oregon. We are now tied to a dead
carcass that is represented in Congress
by a non-voting delegate a political
eunuch who has no interest in common
with us. . The people living east. of tho
mountains are tired of it, and will glad
ly welcome a transfer to Oregon and
the position of equals in moulding' the
destinies of a live State. : Onr voice is
fbr annexation. ; i
And the Union takes the same side
warmly as follows : , '
The question ot annexing Walla
Walla and Columbia counties to Oregou .
is becoming a most interesting one to ma.
ny people, y As wo expected, the people
over on the Sound are becoming greatly
interested. They never took much inter,
est in this section, except that they al
ways looked in this direction tor about
twelve or thirteen thousand dollars ot
Territorial tax .each year they were
interested in us to jnst that sum, and
nothiug more ; and so long as we came
forward promptly with our money .things
were all serene and lovely on the
Sound. We were useful in furnishing
from one-third to one-fourth of the whole
amount that went to support the chronic
office-holders and political managers of
Puget Sound, and ot course they do not
wish to lose this money. We and bur
people are most anxious fbr a change in
their political relations. In the first
place they would prefer to bo let out of
the fight by being annexed to Oregon,
and then let Idaho and the balance ot
Washington Territory adjast ... their
boundaries to the .best interests of the
several sections ot the two . Territories.
Oregon will gladly assent to the pro
ject, for it would' simply restore to the
State that which it originally included
in its boundaries. . : ' -
A Bnl Man-,
As Si was coming up town from the
Atlanta and Richmond Air Line depot
on yesterday, he indulged in a little
song all to himself. Two other negroes
passed b?, and one of them - shouted
back i "Pin up yer onder lip, ole man,
"an stop dat lackct !'
"Who yer talkin' tcr?" said .Si,
stopping short and turning round. '
"Talkin to yer ; who yer tink I'm
talkin' to, you ole Guinea rooster, you?"-
"Yet don't know me, do you?" said
Si. . ;:. .
"I don't care who yon is; you ain't no
grand army ob' de public, no how!"
"Look hyar, I'm de mos' discoura
geous uigger iu dis Atlanty city, and I'd
jis take dis hyar head and butt yer inter
de fore part ob Christmas week, I will!"
- "You re a da " -
Just then Si took a run ..with head
bent down, and two seconds after there
was a sick nigger in the mud, , wanting
nothing tinder heaven but ft doctor.
And as Si went on, he remarked over
his shoulder : .' ' . ,
'Irri a' bad nigger ; alius ' . wns tns
'fore do war, bad all in de war, bad ar
ter de war, an am do loudes' buttin'
nigger you ebef read Txirtt m books "wid
de leabes all out an de kiverlost."
Th ere is danger in permitting young
men to decide to study for the ministry
before their minds are matured. It is
well wheh they can put off decisions of
this sort until they have bad a brqad
outlook on the world. When a youug
man has felt the strings of power and
ambition in his soul and then comes
with a whole heaited consecration and
fays it all on the altar of God. lie is
likely to be a man ef ; power trith God
and men Not every man who can make
appropriate exhortations is fit to preach.
Tlie re must be power : to control. Dr.
Andersou. "- ' :, -.; -
.Tholightkeeper at Cape Bealc writes
that when tlie mate ot the lost ship Or
pheus reached the lighthouse he pro
fessed not to know that the light M capo
Flattery was a fixed ono, and for : sotpo
time iusisted that it was a fladt. lle
said that ho mistook the ,'Cape. Scale
light (which i a flash) for Flattery
light, and that was why the OrpJus
went on. .''.'.'" ' t
The bark Mary Ann Wilson t which
sailed for Iquiqui on Wednesday last
weck,'.Tras ,xompc!:cl to put bads to
Royal Kofivlity heavy' . U.,1 'win' met
in tlie Strati, ; . ... , ... . r
Tho woman is yet it Isoovered
who, when her husband is -pouring
expletives into the bosom of his c'. Jin
shirt, will not solemnly declare that tho
garment had every button ou when it
was put away. ; ':