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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (May 14, 1875)
I'm sitting alone l the are,
" Dimmed Just m I came from the dance, , , -in
robe even yoil wonld admire
- It cost a. cool thousand in France.
I'm bediamoaed oufof tunw, v : T .
Vy h&ir i done up in a cue i
short, air, the belle of the season '
I.t wasting aa hoar n jrecb
A dozes engagements I've. broken,
I left in the middle of a set,
likewise a proposal haU spoken. - '-.
That waits on the stairs for me yet.
They My hell be rich when be grows upj
Jtai then he adores me -indeed, .
And you, sir, ara turning your nose up, v.
Three thousand miles oft as ou read.
And how do yon like my position T
And what do you think of New York T
And now in my higher ambition
wren wnom do 1 waits, fttrt, or talk T
kit Wit it niee to have rteheai.
ad dtsmonds, and aQks, and all that T '
And at it it a change from the ditches '
And tnnnels o Poverty F1T.
Well, yen, if yon anrn avt driving,
Each day in the pork, tour in hand ;
If yon saw poor dear mamma contriving.
To look supernaturall? grand t
-If you saw papa's picture, as taken
By Ekndy, and tinted at that,
Ton'd never auspeet he said tweon '
And Hour at Poverty Flax !
And yet jut this moment, when sitting
In toe glare of the grand chandelier.
In the bustle and glitter henttiag
The nneet esfreeof the year.
In the midst of a gauze a ehtrmturrp, '
And the hum of the smallest of talk,
. Somehow Joe, t thought of the Ferry,
And the dance that we had on the Fork.
Of Harrison's barn, with its muster.
Of flag festooned over the wall.
Of the candles that ahed their soft luster
And tallow on head dress and shawl.
Of the steps that we took to the Addle, , .
Of the dress of my nesr,r--v6i, .
And how once I went dm the middle,
'- With the man that' shot Sandy MoOee.
Of the moon that wbb quietly sleeping -
On the hilL when the time came to go.
Of the few baby .-peaks that were peeping
From under their bed clothes of snow; i
Of that ride that to ms was the rarest ;
Of the something you said at the gate; .
Ah 1 Joe, then I waant as heiress
To the best paying lead in the State.
- j.---:t - - ..,,. i. . '
Well, well, it's an past ye tie fanny
To think, as I stood in, the glarev-
Of fashion, and beauty, and money.
That I should be thiakang right there
) ariwi nrtst whn .1 n ,1 1...-.. . ..
And swam the North Fork, and ail . t
Joflt to danee with old FoUabeow daughter.
TtftA Tj) rt Pmm4 Pl.t
Good night here's the end of my paper,
.Good night if the longitude please
For may be, while wasting my taper,
Your sun's climbing over the trees.
TTou know, If yon havent got riches
And are poor, dearest Joe, and all that,
That my heart's somewhere in the ditches,
And you're struck it aa Poverty Flat.
A TRANSACTION Iff STOCKS.
"Well,' drawled Silas in his weak,
uncertain, way, " may .be l don't know
beans folks say I don't, -an more'n
likely they know; ' but then "taint my
fault if I don't. I was born that way,
An I don't see as how I kin help it. "
Mr. SQas Bronson was standing on his
portico, or what passed, forgone, when he
uttered the above. The house to which
the portico belonged- wW a totterino-.
tumble-down affair very much awry, and L
looking not unlike a man intoxicated who
is uncertain about Jus-standing in the
world. And the surroundings were in
keepmg . with the..iouse. TheI fences
seemed to possess thumahelple8sness,
And straggled about : without- regard to
division- ! lines, while the garden-patch
was laid out with the mathematical pre
cision of chaos.- -'.vFV;' ';'
"No, 'taint my fault, continued Silas;
"I did the best I knewh6w with, the
money."' .' : "r". t t f.: ;
" No ye didn't," answepd Mrs. Bron
son, sharply, from within the house.
Mrs. Bronson, a care-worn," sharp--eatured
woman,- seemed" to be greatly
-disturbed, and her fingers worked nerv
ously as she gathered up the few dinner
dishes. "Ye did tnaw better,' Ye. had
sense enough to know your family were
out of clothes, the bouse an place needed
fbrin up, an' ye kept promiasn" ye'd get
all these tilings when ye got some money.
But ye didn't get the money, and ye never
would have got it if Providence, as it
were, hadn't a jxist chucked it inlwyour
face by that uncle nivatff "there "in Cali-
" fornia an leavin' ye' oueand "dollars.
And then, like a bom idiot, you must
needs give it all to Jude Fay to sink in
that oil well of his'nf ' wneiw3 yell 'never
bear on't again. w,'-' -.
"Well, I did as well rtToould, again
Of course ye did wgUI" .emphasised
Mrs. Bronson with- as rqoccteious ' pun.
"'That old oil well will Jceep the money
safe enough, I reckon; ye,11 never get at
back." . i , r... :
. Then Mrs. Bronson said no more, and
8flaa was quite willing to keep silent on
a disagreeable subject. : A well -meaning i
but shiftless man was. Mr. Bronson,' not 1
inclined to work, with Jittle knowledge
ox DOBwess, ana no practical sense to di
rect what knowledge he had. jOu Mrs.
Bronson fell the real burden, and. had it
not been for her sagacity, and "executive
nttunty poor Silas would have, fared badly.
In spite of her efforts, however, the for
tunes of the family ware getting t a low
ebb, and her complaints of ber .husband's
uniable inability were beoomihgfrequent
more rrequens inaq cmas XUteo. . ,
Don'tbe always a .frettan.', Mana,
lie said one day. "Luck's agin -.us, I
allow, but itll change pooty soon." t : rf
" Not unless ye work f or fc answered
jwaria, not relishing such serene resigna
tion. '.' They , do say that Providence
lakes care of lazy people and fools, but
J. do not set no great store on't"
But " luck " did change after a while.
An uncle of Mr. Bronson died oonven-
iently off in California, and among other
- -bequests left one thousand dollars to his
nephew. Then Mrs, Bronson 's . face
brightened. Visions ot a home fixed up,
of comfortable, clothing for rerself ana
family, began to ...'flft .before' Jfeer. fyear
But ttiey proved to be' only tismkbs 'Latter
alL "When the letter came " containing
the long looked for "check Jla ient up
to the viILage rank to get &e money, and
there he fell in with a certain Judge Fay,
That smooth, ' glib-tongued speculator
met Silas juat as he was. corning out of
the bank and immediately button-holed
"Halloo, Bronson! How do-you dot
"Glad to meet you; just the man I wanted
to see." - , '
"Pooty well, thank ie,T answered .
Silas, smiling weakly. He f e!t ccrasUer
. able awe of the'Juc'a, s-ivi heju.to,
wonder what poscgMe'Lu. i-;a t . "t great
man could have with his, iiat Judge
did not seem to notice his embsrtsnent;
he locked arms with BiL-s, anl began
talking in a very familiar and cehidnti&l
inanner as they walked along.
"How are your family, liror.ut T.j
tbe way, those are mighty ensa-t chZ2?en.
of yours mighty smart.' A, L.a. jjjjae
e eqaaDy se My children frequently
peak of that htSe W of yours; they
attend the same School. " 1 " :
""iV.c'I1't boy; they're id girls;
ts Jennie tnaybe ye mean mildly suS-
- gested Silas. - 4 -T
"ijn- yes i jenme; so it w. ' Bi.ina
I should forest the , name whiSn I have
beard it so often," answered" tie Jn
finshing a little. - And then aa tLev c; - ie
so a sm&ii Dniicirg on a coris.-1 ia aaoed.
- "Here's ray nCloe, Bron.To. C3oiaain
a little wLH.. I want to see von.
Still woQikriB? Silas obe; k If, the
Judge had a 1&3. Mm to tako : I 'a boots
it is prooatiie Jie wouia 'nave cor a . so.
He entered the office as reouested. and
sat down in an awkward way by the stove,
and stretched out his hands toward it as
if he were cold. To be sure it was a
warm day;" and there was no fire in the
stove; but then Silas didn t know what
else to do, so he did that whMe he awaited
the Judge's pleasure. -
" vtate ' a eosey little office I have
here, haven't I ?" queried the latter gen
tleman, pleasantly. "Take a cigar,
Bronson' producing a case. " Perhaps
they are not as good as you are accus
tomed to, but they are imported, and I
think them very.fine."
Silas meekly accepted a cigar, lighted
it, and then said, " They are very nioe "
applying the remark to both office and
cigar. - - ---v.. - -
For a few minutes the Judge puffed
away in silence.
" That was a comfortable little wind
fall you had your ancle dying off there
in California and leaving you that money,"
he said at last.
"Yes," answered Silas, beginning to
feel complacent. "Toler'ble nioe little
pile on't a thousand dollars. - Got it
this mornin'.' .-v
"To be sure it is not a very larger sum
for a man of your means,' continued the
Judge ; but it is nioe to get such things,
and it will do to get a suit of clothes and
a few knick-knacks, maybe. And that
makes me think, Bronson where is it
you get your eiothes? My wife often
says : 'Now, Judge Fay, if you only had
the taste of Mr. Bronson about dress !'
But then, bless me ! I haven't or I would
look as tasteful on Sunday as you do."
The Judge waseareful to say " Sunday,"
: for if he had included wwk-days it would
have been more than even Silas could
(Swallow. , . , .
Jerry Markle, he made my last suit,"
answered Silas, surprised and pleased that
his dress should thus attract admiration,
and from so distinguished a source, too.
The Judge passed another few minutes
in meditative smoking.
" The fact is, Bronson," he resumed,
taking the cigar from his mouth, " the
fact is I wanted to see you about a little
matter that is well, I may say of mutual
advantage. You see, I was over in Penn
sylvania last week, and through the oil
regions. And while there I bought a
tract, five acres, right near the best pro
ducing welL Of course I could have
made a good thing by selling it again,
but I concluded not to be selfish but to
come home and form a stock company pf
a few of our influential men, like your
self and others."
"I am very much obleeged to ye,
Jndge," began Silas ; "but then
1 1 , ;
" Please hear me through," interrupt
ed the Jndge, with a soft, deprecating
wave ox me nana , "A am not done yet.
Now, there is lots of money in this
thing if it is properly managed, and as I
didn't wish to connect with Tom. Dick.
and Harry, I have mentioned the matter
Col. Clark and 'Squire Hardy hkvTall
ts nut lew of our best men. Dr. Boss.
taken stock, and our minister, the Rev.
Mr, Norris, expects to invest. The stock
m ifuij a una") nve nunorea aoilars a
" Yes five hundred dollars uncom
mon cheap, I should say," stammered
Silas. -s "But then, ye see, I hain't got
me money was is, to spare, jest now,
I'm sort of poor, like." r
f "Poor I" echoed the Judge; "a man
01 your means talking about poverty,
What is a paltry five hundred to von?'
And the speaker snapped his finger as if
the . sum mentioned were insignificant
beyond measure. " Why, man, -I11
warrant you nave more than that with
"I know ; but then I thought rdbet-
wr - oegan Oiias ; buttne Judge broke
m wita apparent surprise.
' " Oh, that's it I you have been already
considering the matter f I might have
known CoL Clark would speak to you
about it. - When I told him of my pro-
posea company last weeK he asked if you
were in it, and he said, 'If Bronson
takes hold I will, because whatever Bron
son takee hold of is sure to succeed. Those
were his very words ; and so he spoke to
you himself f f WelL I am glad on the
whole he did, and that you are going in
with us. - But you can't have more than
four shares, Bronson I" with a playful
tap on the back" and you needn't pay
more than half down. That will be
enough to carry the thing through, I
think." . .-'...;' . ;.- :-
, And what could poor Silas sav to all
JUisf With a nature weak and vieldinc.
he was surprised and flattered to learn of
his own prominence in the community,
and that such men as the Judge, Col.
Clark, and others should give need to
his views on any subject was, to say the
least, extremely complimentary. In fact
Silas began to think his self -estimate had
been placed altogether too low in times
past, and he presently-smoked and talked
himself into a verypieaeing state of com
placency indeed. .'-x v.
. The Judge's toncue was not idle the
meanwhile ; he piled on the "soft-
solder" to a remarkable thickness, and
after a time, somehow Silas didn't
exactly know how the Judge took pos
session of 'the one thousand dollars, and
Silas found himself- the owner of four
beautiful lithotrraphed certificates of
stock, calling for five hundred dollars
each. . ,
They looked nice, and Silas' placed
them in his pocket fully convinced that
ha and Judge Fay, CoL Clark and the
others were very important -men and
shrewd financiers. withaL - Then the
Judge mildly intimated he had business
to attend to, and Silas took his depart
ure. : Bnt when outside, and on his wav
home, Silas, Like the prodigal son, "came
to .himself,: and he began to think the
investment not so good a one after alL
He : tried , to recall the arguments and
brilliant promises of the Judge, but
some: way he couldn't remember them,
and the more he tried the more he forgot,
while, facing him was a very important
wnat wouia mana say i
Yes, there was the rub I And Maria
had a great deal to say when she heard
of it, as her words, at me first of this story,
do in part testify. But her words could
not ' bring back the money, and with.
heavy heart the poor woman placed the
stock certificates in a bureau drawer,
hoping against ' hope that something
mifht come from them after alL . . .
Vain ; delusion! Davs and weeks
passed-by, and the "Great .Union Pe
troleum lJ company paid no dividends
to its stockholders at least, SHas didn't
receive any. in answer to his questions
tue juage always talked learnedly about
the i geological 'formation, the various
strata to be gone through, and would
describe with great minuteness the ma
chinery used, until his bewildered listener
tnonght digging .oil wells a very, deep
business. And so it was. Altogether
too daep for Silas, . ,,
One day ia me early autumn Silas
c -.me home with a new idea, in his head.
Ho had been talking with the Judge, and
tiiiJi great man .had told him the com
pany w-ra on the eve of striking oil a
h&d frequently heard before,
but tins time a sudden thonght came to
lam.: He would go to Pennsylvania and
look for himself. He mensiopeJ the
project to Maria, and, to his surprise,
she agreed with him.
"I don't know what made me do it
either' she said afterward, .talking to ,a
neighbor when Silas had gone. " It is
onthrowing good money after the
' Nevertheless she - did so agree, and
-went hard to work to get her husband in
trim for the journey. He, the mean
while, worked steadily to secure meney
-for the purpose, and then, resplendent
in blue brass-buttoned swallow-tail, drab
trousers and tall hat, with the certificates
snugly placed inside a breast-pocket, de
parted. The exact locality of the well
he did not know. He understood it was
somewhere near the city of , P , and
thitherward he journed, feeling oonfl
.dent that the " Great Union Petroleum
Oil Company" could easily be found.
Silas reached Jt the next evening
and found it a lively place, made up
chiefly of refineries, derricks, barrels
and speculators ; and, like a wise man,
he went immediately to a hotel and ate a
hearty supper and then went to bed.
And on the following morning he was
ready lor business ; and on that morn
ing, too,- came the tide that led him on
to fortune. . ..
When he passed out into the street
after breakfast he found everybody talk
ing about " the great strike" of the pre
ceding night, it seemed that a new
company, composed of Eastern men, had
been boring lor oil lor some tune past.
and with no prospect of success. But
just as they were about giving up, and
considering the money invested as money
lost, then . it was fortune smiled upon
mem. jn a moment, as it occasionally
happens, thev had utmnlr tha nlfunnnim
-nuio, ana me aespisea well became
flowing fountain of, wealth.. And, of
course, the company's stock went leaping
up to an enormous oiaxance beyond par.
Silas heard all this, and his heart and
head at once became light "with hopeful
" Shouldn't wonder a bit if 'twas our
well," he murmured to himself, "cause
the Jugge said we was jest en the p'int
o striking somethin . I'm sure it s our
well !" Then, as a man went hurrying
dv, ne asxea : " ay, Mister, is it the
'Great Petroleum Company' that has
Why, of course it's a petroleum com
pany," replied the man, hastening on.
"I jest knew it ! Hoorray for Gineral
Jackson I" Hhmitorl Slilna tlmncJnK Y,ia
best hat recklessly into the air, much to
Clll 4-1. A V. L .3 mi 1 1
Dtuiun ui uu3 uvsuuiucis.. xiieii lie
hurried back to the hotel, scarcely know-
infiT Whether he stood on hia haasl nr
heels. After he reached that place he
man t jeuow wnat to ao with hunselx.
He - walked around, and then he sat
down; then he got up and walked about
gtuu. jc reneuuy ne enterea me reading
room, and as he did so he heard a gentle
man near one 01 me tables say:
" Well, last night I would have sold
my four shares for fifteen cents on the
dollar, but now I hardly know what I
would take for them."
."Have you got shares in the Great
Petroleum 1 So have I," exclaimed
Silas, rushing straight up to the stranger
as if he were his Innc-lraf brnt.Knr -
" Bully, ain't it ? Hoorray foi "
"Don't get excited," interrupted the
sir&uger, laugning. .rernaps you are
mistaken. Let me compare tout stock-
certificates with mine." As he spoke he
piacea nis own certihcates on the table.
and Silas did the same with his. The
papers certainly bore a general resem
blance, but just as the stranger was about
to examine mem closely some one came
to the door and called him.
"I can't stop,", he said, gathering up
his papers again hastily and, placing
tnem in his pockejt-; ." there isa carnage
in waiting forme outside. , Hewever, my
friend," he added. you just keep cool.
iiuHiamjMmoe,-;, :. -i ,
The stranger then walked quickly out
of the room, and Silas sat still for a mo-,
ment with his certificates yet on the table
before him. . Some one placed a hand on
his shoulder. : TTe tnrncri
neatly-dressed, keen-eyed man behind
" Pardon me, ax," said the new-comer,
' but I heard part of
with the gentleman who has just gone.
I understood you to say that you owned
several shares in the well that m n toiVaj
about this morning?"! ' y c
" Yes, I've got four shares," replied
Silas with complacent promptness.
- hum win you taKe ior them?" -
" Don't know AH T tram- nhnnt ual1,-n
answered Silas. i -
The stransrer nic.Vel nn fl.o iwfi'fif
and looked at them carefully, and then,
apparently satisfied, he said : .
"I will give you three thousand dol
lars cash for fcem." I -
Silas shook his head. -"Four!"
j ' ;
Another shake of the head.
"Five!" -j ' - ; -
Silas beean to w&vnr n. liffla
stopped to think. ' ., ' I . v
" Give me six thousand and youymay
have 'em," he said, finally.
- It was the strancer's tnrn nns Tuxri.
tate. He scrutinized the certificates very
closely, meditated a moment, and then
"I will take them."! . 1
The exchancre van inninVl-v masta fl 1
stranger took the stock-certsfi sates, and
Silas placed six new, crisp bank notes in '.
his wallet, and the two then separated.
Elated and excited omt bin creinA tnrt-nm. !
Silas paid his hotel bill at once, and set
out for the depot just in time for a home
ward train.- - .""J,.;
And .when he ' reached hnrru
sensation his story produced ! , Every
body in the little villam farilrarl
dered, and strangely enough, too, SUas-
tug vuijr uue ui we vrreac union
Petroleum Oil ,Oompany',5who realized
anvthimr on the stock, i Pannla
about that, too, and Jndge Fay explained
it by denying the statement of Silas
altogether. Indeed, in a moment of ex
citement, the Judge forgot his usual
caution and gave his reasons. - He said,
firstlv. the " Great Pei!nm " hui n
struck oil ; secondly, the company had
not commence to. dig yet; and, thirdly,
the " Great Petroleum ; - didn't own any
land in Pennsylvania, nor anywhere else;
therefore Silas's story must be false. But
uiou puw 1UM. uie money, aoa -now aid
he get it ? , .-
Between you and me, gentle reader,
I' have my theory. . I ; am inclined to
think when the stranger placed bis cert,
tificates on the - table . to compare with
those of Silas, and then went ,. awV
suddenly, , in his haste he acoidently
made an exchange and took away with
him the "Great Petroleum oertincates.
Silas, of coarse,'- was innocent ia the
transaction, and sold the genuine article
tn thn nwflnktnr. Ra thet rauiA ui it mmr
Silas never heard anything' more about
fl management, did he thereafter in
vest in any more oil-stock. llewrth and
Home , (- . s
- IiEDOCHOwsii,' Archbishop Cardinal of
Posen, will be - banished ' from German
soil as soon as his imprisonment is over.
Such is the will of the man of Berlin, aa
unchangeable as the laws of the M.edc9
, and Persians,' " - . - . - -
Kew York Fashions.
Among topics most discussed at the
late opening was the rumored revival pf
crinoline. It was said at one house mat
some of the most fashionable customers
had ordered hoop skirts, and large tour
nures were readily told every where.
Some of the most fashionable modistes
have no faith in the return of crinoline,
as all the newly imported dresses have
narrow skirts, and the Parisiennes at
present are wearing very moderate tour
nures. The preference here is for elab
orate bouffant tournures that extend far
down, making the dress project sharply
out quite a distance behind, but so slend
erly that nothing is added to the sides,
and leaving the clinging .sheath-like front
of the dress unchanged. ,
V : Wide rich fringes with fanciful head
ings trim the basques and over-skirts of
two-thirds of the French dresses im
ported this season. Lace-like crocheted
headings are om some, while others have
the broad latticed headings of the fringes
usually seen on Canton crape shawls.
There are also -braid fringes of silk or
wool in many new designs.
Worth refuses to abandon jet trim
mings, and .uses them on all his hand
somest black silk dresses, over dresses,
and wraps. : Pingat uses it very spar
ingly, preferring the popular Titan wool
braid for trimming the rich wraps for
which he is famous. '; . ,, -.
Among the most stylish over dresses
are tabhers and fischu-jackets made of
alternate stripes of Titan braid and
beaded yak lace. They are ornamented
with. a Bash and bows of double-faced
satin ribbon, black on one side, and pale
blue, cream or scarlet on the other.
Batiste of pure, sheer linen is now im
ported in pale rose, light blue, and navy
blue for suits, wrappers, and children's
dresses. It is trimmed with open Eng
lish, embroidery done in white on the
garment. The suits of this fine lawn
are charming for afternoon in summer.
Morning wrappers of pink or blue batiste
are Gabrielles, with basque backs, and
sometimes shirred waists. They have
insertion and edging in rows down front
and back, and a flounce on the edge is
also embroidered. '
Byron or sailor collars of the dress
material or of the silk used for trimming
are on many new dresses. Sometimes
there are two collars, one of the plaid
wool like : the . basque, the other of silk
Kke the sleeves. ' Other Byron collars
of silk are made of fine knife plea tings
laid around the neck, while still others
are rows of crimped pleating passing
downward, and alternately of silk and
wool. . .
- Many plaid basques and over-skirts are
cut bias, and each plaid is made to meet
in every seam. r
Cravat bows of silk like the dress or
its trimmings are made of two long loops,
two ends, and a strap, all laid in the
finest knife pleatings. Other cravat
bows are merely the silk doubled plainly.
Three or four such bows trim the front
The newest plaid suits are shades of
green or of blue. These are shown only
in very fine camel's-hair and in the Loui
sine silk- : The popular plaid suits are of
gray or beige brown shades. The gay
Madras plaids, with colors copied from
bandana handerchiefs, are as largely im
ported as were Dolly Varden goods two
years ago. They are in all fabrics, from
cheap ginghams up to fine twilled silks,
and promise- to find favor at the watering
places. ' At-present they are too gay for
city streets. Harpers' Bazar
Dainty In the Extreme.
A contributor to the "Editor's Draw
er " in Harper's tells the following story
of an old Dutch landlord who "kept tav
ern " in a New York village in the good
old times when such modern inventions
as butter-knives, silver forks, and clean
plates for each " course " of meats were
unknown, at least in that corner of the
world.-'-""-1"'1 -'-V. :L;
One morning this worthy " Wirth " was
aroused from a reverie behind the' bar
room stove by the arrival of a traveler
a ' rare apparition to his household
whose dress .and manner indicated that
he hailed from "der city." It was near
noon, and. the stranger made known Jus
wants by calling' for -feed for his horse
and dinner for himself, t ? As the tall
Dutch clock in the corner struck twelve
he was conducted into a back room which
served the double purpose of 'dining
room and kitchen, and took his seat with
the ' boarders they were not called '
" guests " then consisting of the village
schoolmaster, the farrier, the store-keep-er'S
" clerk, and " several farm hands
who hired out in the neighborhood, and
who, being -to the manner born," con
tentedly ate their' food of flesh. CTeens.
and-pastry off bne and the same plate in
me primitive style. The landlord and'
his two buxom daughters did dutv as 1
waiters; the carving was performed by
" every man for himself ," with his own !
knife and fork. The meal, proceeded
quietly until the first "course was dis
patched, when the 'stranger astonished '
the natives by calling for a clean plate, !
knife and fork, preparatory to chancrinir !
his ham and egg-diet, for a eut of roast
beel. They were handed to him. how
ever, without remark, although not with- ;
out a dumf ounded stare from the land-
lord, and again things went along as
usual, until the stranger, having disposed
of the substantials, and feeling inclined
to finish off with a slice of pie. called for
another clean plate with knife and fork
accompaniments. This was more than
the saturnine landlord, with his home
bred notions, could stand. He rushed
up to the stranger, leaned over his shoul
der, and loo kin or him not sauare. but
sideways ia the face, said, :
"I likes to aks you yust one queshn.
"Well, what is it?" was the somewhat
surprised response of the stranger. ' .
" Vy, I vanta to know uf you got bar
ditions in your pelly?"
- 1 - Bells.
Did an Irishman ever make a creator
blunder than the English. lawyer who
drew up an indictment, in which it was
charged that the prisoner at the bar lolled
a man with a certain wooden instrument
called ' an iron pestle ? Or. than Peter
Harrison, a commentator om the Penta
teuch, who, - ia explaining about the
tables of stone on -which-Moses wrote the
commandments, said, " They were prob
ably made of Shittim wood? ;i Or than
the English Major, who, when he was
superintending the hanging of a rebel
Irishman in 1798, and the rope broke,
and the poor wretch fell to the, ground,
seized him by the. throat, crying out :
"You raso&L if you do that again 111
kisk you as sure as you breathe F; Or
than a correspondent of the English
Royal Society, who talked of an earth
quake that had the honor of being no
ticed by the said society f t- Or was there
ever a bull more exquisite than that of
an Englishman, who, speaking of his
nurse, said t f I hate bar for she changed
me for another when I was a baby I" And
was it not a bitl of the fiis order that
was . perpetrated by a Frenchman, who,
in a quarrel with his father, said : "I
owe you no gratitude, for, had. you not
been born, I should have - inherited my
grandfather's Poperrt" 7,7'
Dom In Tennessee.
Dr. Bedfield, of the Cincinnati Com
mercial, in a letter from Chattanooga,
Tennessee, .says: rThe poverty of 'Tthe
State to-day is due in no small degree
the multitude of worthless curs, which
consume as much as the hogs and cost as
much as the sahools, sad produce noth
ing. In the rural districts there are
nearly as many dogs as people, showing
of itself a state of mvuization not the
highest. Not long ago a plaintive appeal
was sent to Nashville from 143 colored
people of Rutherford county, saying that
last year's dry weather cut off the crop
and that they were in a starving condi
tion. Some one went through one of the
poverty-stricken districts of that county,
and his business being to enumerate the
population, he enumerated the dogs also,
and found more dogs than people. What
was fed the dogs would have fattened
enough hogs to have furnished the pop
ulation with a reasonable amount of
meat. '.'"."'.' ;, . ."..'c'. ,''
Curse the worthless dogs ! Where
ever you find them ' in great numbers,
you find the. people correspondingly poor
and the country wretched. ; , I wish the
tax was twenty-five dollars on each dog,
and the proceeds given to encouraging
the raising of sheep. Here is a great
central State, adapted by nature to the
production of wool, . and wooL too, of
such superior quality that it has taken
the premium more than once at ' the
World's fair, yet on account of the myri
ads of worthless curs which prey upon
the sheep, there is not one-quarter
enough wool produced for home , con
In twenty-seven" counties of this State,
average counties, the dogs last year killed
11,469 sheep. In the one county of Giles
they got away with 1,750.
A northern farmer who settled in Cof
fee county was telling me a few days ago
of the fine location he had for sheep rais
ing as compared with the North. It cost
only one-quarter as much to winter sheep
here as in the North. The cold weather
never killed his lambs, no matter what
month of the year they were born. But
there was one drawback that spoiled all
that was promising and fine. The worth
less dogs silled his sheep and destroyed
all the prohts 01 wool growing. He was
powerless to remedy the matter. The
country was fairly alive with dogs, every
family having from two to a dozen, the
poorer and more wretched and ignorant
and worthless the family, the more dogs
The Cardinal's Hat.
Anne Brewster writes from Home to
the Philadelphia Bulletin: " The Car-
ainars nat, mat is me cappeiione, is
never worn on the head ; it only ap
pears on great occasions, such as a festa
for a canonization, the opening of the
Porta Santa in the year of Jubilee, and
on the festival of Corpus Domini, when
it is carried by the Cardinal s
chief officer. After the death of
a Cardinal it . is often suspended
over nis . tomb, in me thirteenth cen
tury it was worn, and, by the way, it was
first bestowed on Cardinals at the Thir
teenth Oecumenical Council, 1245, held
at Lyons. Pipini, the chronicler, tells
a aroii story about it. lie savs a Conn
tens of Flanders gave the first suggestion
ior me costume that- distinguishes the
princes of the Church. The Pope of
that date was Innocent IV. (the Geno
ese Fieschi); he reproached the Countess
for failing to greet a Cardinal with
proper ceremony whom she had met in
public while she treated a lordly Abbot
who was with his Eminence with great
respect." Her reply was that as there
was no distinction of dress she concluded
that the Abbot was the greater person
age of the itwo. . The Pope then con
cluded to give the Cardinals an especial
dress. When his Holiness Innocent IV.
bestowed on them the red hat he made a
little speech in which he informed the
Cardinals that the red color implied that
they should be ready to shed their blood
for the Church. In 1277- the Cardinals
were first allowed to wear- scarlet (por-
pora). Legates alone had worn the
scarlet up to that date.
Reasons for doing Abroad.
, There are many men ' who waste all
their estates to gaze upon' the estates of
others, and then think they have made
a good bargain. - It is useless to tell
such men that we have fine scenery and
noble cities in our own country. ' Even a
journey across ; the continent,' so fre
quently recommended to those who go
about seeking some new thing, does not
satisfy people who want amusement.
Eyen the minor matter of eating and
drinking is a grievance with the
pleasure-seeker who says he cannot en
joy travel in our own country. He says
it is not by air means a minor an air.
Perhaps he cannot take in the beauties
of the Alleghanies while he is trying to
digest a blazing hot dinner, bolted in ten
minutes at Altoona. Perhaps he is un
fitted to absorb the loveliness oi New
port beach when he reflects what a great
price he pays for a miraculous display of
little daba of eooked stuff spread before
him three times a day by an unwhole
some and haughty waiter. ' Or, if he
fancies he might enjoy a Southern win
ter, he reflects with terror on me ineu
pork and corn dodger which will wel
come him at every table from the Ohio
river to the Gulf of Mexico. The trav
eler knows that the Latin race has some
how preserved the art of cookery. JV".
Y. Times.' : -' "-y--
, A Utile Absent Minded. :
at.!r4iw nftor fUa ftmithern - Canada
K,UMUT " -
fwm. TrAaAn n Tlatrmt milled out
yesterday afternoon the conductor came
miu unr w - r ;
round. - His face wore its usual bland
expression, but there was a far-off-look
in his eyes, and he gazea over me
r v.: cu u h smiled to himself
and muttered unintelligible things. Bn
when he punched a hole in a $5 green
back and stucK a 00 0011 mjx i
l a 1 1 iv. imMrfimi 9 faiit fuuntv was
seriously considered among the specta
tors. The matter, however, was ex
plained when a lady asked wla Eime f
rki reached BetroiV and ' Murray
a half, ma am. - -il"."y
tfanffhter. a little absence of mind is cer
tainly excusable in view of the happy
event. Toledo Jilaae. .
x 1 . lumnnrr. nf Nashville
Tenn., lost her infant child the other day
in a singular manner. The child was lying
in its cradle, all snugly wrapped up and
well in every way, when a colored man
dropped in and QQgaged in a httle chat.
4.v A re' rlAVTl AT.fi. T1T.t.P1"1""P'1Y,-
sat down plump into the cradle. ,The
colored man might nave b "w"
edge of the cradle, or he might have set
tled down lightly in one end of it ; he
might have done oneof these things,
buthefiidn't. He came dowu like a pile
. jjj .j . maVAAnv difference
that he came up like a rocketr-the mis
chief was accompiisnea
baby was cut off from life, early enough
i 1 iv j tliia wicked world.
W UVUJLUI UlXtS ltVlllo v- . .
The poor colored man was plunged in
ertisf , but he couldn't undo what he had
done nor make the flattened infant xy
Correspondence Between the President
and Gen. Spinner.
... . Besides Gen..Spinner's formal letter of
resignation, transmitted through the
Secretary, the following oorreepondenoe
passed between", himself and the Presi
dent direct: " :.:., . ; "
GKN. SFTNITER TO PBS8HBKT QBANT
Mx Dear Mb. Prestdknt: In the
formal letter of to-day's date, in which I
tendered to you my resignation of office
of Treasurer of the United States, it
would hardly have been proper that I
should . express my heartfelt feelings
toward you, and in our recent interview
your land treatment so filled my heart
that I could not give utterance, to my
grateful thoughts. Now that it is all over
with, and that I stand on the threshhold
of emancipation, I desire to express to
you my deep gratitude for your" great
confidence, for, your marked friendship,
and for the many kindnesses and favors
that you have bestowed upon me. It
was your kind countenance and support
that more than all else sustained and
held me up during my long - years of
vexatious and arduous official labor. I
shall always look back upon these marks
of esteem and favor, commencing "vith
the time when you took command of the
Army of the Potomac, and growing
through the time that you were in com
mand of all the armies of " the republic,
and since you became President of the
United States, as the events of my long
life of which I shall ever feel most proud.
For all these kind manifestations toward
mo, from one who stands so high iu the
esteem of the world for his great achieve
ments, please permit me, now. that our
official relations are about to end, to ten
der to you the sincere thanks of a truly
grateful heart. Most respectfully and
truly your friend, F. E. Spinner.
To den. TJ. 8. Grant, President of the United
. States, Washington, D. C.
THE PRESIDENT'S REPLY.
Mx Djeab General: Your letter of
resignation of the office of Treasurer of
the -United States, . of yesterday, . and
your very kind private note of the same
date, are received, and in return I-wish
to say how much I, in common with the
great mass of the people of this country.
appreciate your zeal and devotion to the
arduous duties you have been called
upon to perform in the last fourteen
years. In retiring from those duties I
hope you will hnd the rest and restora
tion to vigorous health so long denied
you. You take with you my best wishes
for your welfare and happiness, and my
confidence in your patriotism, zeal, ant.
ability. But few, men have performed
more labor for the public than you, and
none have retired from their labors re
taining a stronger confidence in the pub
lic mind for constancy, integrity, and
unselfishness. With great respect, your
obedient servant, U. S. Grant.
To the Hon. F. E. Spinner, U. 8. Treasurer.
The Mysteries of the Hainan Throat. :
Dr. Frederick Fieber, of Vienna, like
the little boy with his drum, not content
with enjoying the melody of Madame
Pauline Lucca, has made a close scrutiny
of the throat whence the sweet sounds
issue, and publishes the result of his in
vestigations. The mechanical apparatus
which is the instrument of the. mental
faculty, appears in Madame Lucca's case
to be beautifully perfect, the result to
some extent, perhaps, of congenital fit
ness, but also doubtless, partly of the
scientific training to which the young ar
tiste has been subjected in early youth.
Examined under the laryngoscope, the
larynx appears small and well-shaped,
its several parts being marvelonsly de
veloped and perfect. The true strings
are pure snow white and possess none of
the bluish tinge common among women.
Although shorter than Usual among vo
calists they are stronger in proportion
and amply provided with muscle. When
at rest they are partly screened by the
false strings; but Dr. Fieber, -who
watched Madame Lucca's throat tliroucrh
his instrument while she was singing.
noticed that as soon as a tone Was struck,
they displayed themselves in their full
breadth and strength. ; The aid given
by a suitable form of mouth to the pro-
duction of vocal music is a novel and in
teresting point brought out by Dr. Fie
ber. On being admitted to a . view of
the artiste's mouth he was at once struck
with the spaciousness and symmetry of
its hollowness, the otherwise perfect sym
metry being impaired only by the ab
sence of a tonsiL, which had been re
moved, as well as with the vigor with
which every tone produced raised the
" sail " of the palate. . Dr. Fieber is of
the opinion that the natural conforma
tion of her mouth accounts in a large
measure for the wonderful power Mad
ame Lucca possesses of raising and drop
ping her voice alternately. The sound
waves are naturally strengthened in so
favorably shaped a space, while the mus
cles of the palate appeared to have ac
quired exceptional strength and pliability
by long practice. ,
He Wag There. : ;
I was working at an old Tufts press
when my roller-boy gave utterance to a
prolonged roar. He had an old newspa
per pinned with a bodkin against the
back of a type-case at his left hand, from
which he had been reading by snatches.
I asked him what he was laughing at,
and he read the anecdote which had so
excited him. I have not seen it in print
from that day to this, and think it worth
Jn the times when the political warfare
between the Whigs and Democrats waxed
hot and relentless there was a town .out
West in which the two parties were so
nearly equal that the variation of a single
vote, one way or the other, might be a
matter of most serious consequence. Of
course, on both sides sharp eyes ware
open and watchf uL i .. ;, v - . .-v -' . -y -"
. A young man earns up to the pollings
place on election day, and offered his
vote. It was his first appearance in the
character of an elector, and he had the
independence, or audacity, to differ po
liticafiy with his father. His father
challenged his vote. . , -.
"On what grounds?" demanded the
presiding officer. .
t' He ain't twenty-one."..
:! V I am twenty-one," asserted the youth.
" No you ain't," persisted the father;
"you won't be twenty-one till to-mor
" I say X will.'" cried the youth. " I
born on the twellth day of .Novem
ber. It's dewn so in the old Bible." .
" Then it's a dod-rotted mistake." said
the old man. " You weren't born till the
mornin' of the thirteenth of . November.
loanswarl" . t -,;f ...1:;-:rt''J -
,, " How can you swear r : - -.-. i
't " How ?" repeated the father, indig
nantly. "Goodness gracious I wasn't I
thar?"- . "V.,,,,,--,.,,;: ;,
" WelL" returned the son, with proud
defiance,, wasn't I there too t" .
; The young man voted, & CtJr, in
jVew xort ijeager. v -
i A rsnnos was presented to the Mas-
Bachnssetts Legislature last week askinar
that the sentence of banishment against
Roger Williams, passed In 1 be re
voked. As he has been dead about 20
years, it ia not likely that he takes a very
personal interest in the success of the ap-
THE TWO THKVSITES.
(a rBU rtOH TBM SMWISK4
fthniMi, whose VeneraM sev -r. r .. -i
Hd serred to make him shrewd and saae.
Hie callow graadsoa thsa addressed :
Lome ! leave awhile your idle uit,
A nfl try your winga, for oaos, with ms : -Snch
luscious grapes ss ys seal see
WS1 surely give you gnu deMtfit;
me on ! tSa uot s moment's nilit
lo where sn ancient vineyard Ixw. . .
111 show you, lad, the very vines '
Whence Baoehus draws his ebotocst wines f
TiiiT3,v.!rey flv the eager pair
TU1 lighting on a vineyard where
ine grapes ia piurple clusters huns-.
" vr poet sung. . .
uch things as these, so poor mod nuiil.
A uSSSr"8 "I ,uM with me;
A little space, and you shall ses.
A gnpe of such prodigious sse
dinner for us bstfe V
With that he uuiekly led the war
ui! common gardeu sty.
ww SH-HfT"' "d Puy show,
Thefoolhad takfgrapsl .
The rilly thrush wa.Jueti.wtos
as tnoae who deem a volume si
Tlie real measuraof its worth!
Wit and Hsmor.
Btjeb gardens cemeteries.
Heemnq mediums shoemakers.
i WftT "umal oomes down from' the
clouds? Bain, dear. .
When sweet oil is pot into a castor
does it become castor oil? ;
, What is matr'wMch, by losing an eye.
ypAKrr ties -those little white chokers
I worn by blonde gentlemen who part their
hair in the middle.
Mb. Spdjks is not going to do any
more m oonundrms. He asked his wife
why he was like a donkey, and she said
because he was born so. He says the
answer is very different from that.
Pattsot to doctors, after consultation:
Xell me the worst, gentlemen. -Am I
going to die?" Doctors: "We are di
vided on that question, sir. But there
is a majority of one that you will live."
At a printers' festival lately the follow
ing toast was offered: "Woman: second
oaly to the press in the disseminating of
newBj j.ne ladies are yet undecided
whether to regard this as a compliment
His Honor of the Polios Court wanted
to use a boy as a witness the other day,
and he inquired: "Bub, do you know
what an oath is?" "Y- m'r " roriiui
AT .,V -. . .
mo uvj, iamer s nsea em ever since 1
van reumuer i -jjeirou . jrree J ress. .
A newbpapkr out West thus heads ita
report of a fire: " Feast of the Fire
j iTTiin i lit. . iithpii- i rmiTiifui , mawtnn
XjlCKfl Wltn Its iinrid Hrnth n T.iitt.Vui-
Pile I Are the Scenes of Boston and
Chicago to be Bepeated ? Loss $150."
A man named Da&gett, after warninsr
everybody by advertisement in the
Hartford Times not to trust Mrs. D.,
burst into poetry as follows:
Happy day when I got home,
. nappy aay ana louna Her gone I
Sue is a perfect Amazon," eaid a pu
pil in one of our schools of his teacher '
yesterday, to a companion. "Yes,K
said the other, who was better versed in
geography than history; " I noticed she
had an awful big mouth."
A married lady was complaining to a
widow of her husband's cruel slanders
upon her, when the widow grimly re
plied: " IVe had three husbands, and
not one of them lives to say a word
against me. Dead husbands tell . no
tales." ' -" ' ,
A gibTj screamed in a lecture audience -in
Lafayette, Oregon. Then all the:
other girls screamed. , General conster
nation ensued, and a rush for the doors.
People were bruised, clothes torn, and
the room at length was emptied. The
first screamer4had seen a rat a real one.
Jo'jRXAiisno' Scene: A sub-editor's
room. Sub-editor -has evidently been
dining. Small boy (from irate proprie
tor) "Mr, Macfinigan wants to see you
immediately, sir." "Tell him I'm out."
Small boy I told him that, sir, and he
said I was to go and fiadyou." Sub (af
ter a deliberation)" Well, go and find
me." Jtneh. "" (
i Sombtbxns always happens to spoil
try to get off. . Yesterday among the peo-' .
pie at the ferry dock to see the ice sweep
man, whose soul took in all the grandeur
of the scene. He had just raised his arm '
and commenced:- " How puny is man
compared to nature and her "when a
e house clerk rolled a barrel of beans
against his legs, and the long-haired man
sat down on nis plug hat, which was Iy- -
ing on the dock. He wouldn't even be
a spectator any - longer. Detroit t re
Okb of the late New York ulustrated
humorous mrtem. oa An irresistible cat. .
This is the scene: An old gentleman is
walking in his garden. Presently the
milkman comes along outside the high
garden wall and gives his customary yelL
Old gentleman hears something, but be
ing very deaf, ia unable to make out just
what is wanted; so he puts his ear trum- -pet
in place, and elevating the bell-end
of it over the walL exclaims, " Here t"
H , -. r .1.' L Am4-4A UA
iXLUjunanj&Kes u ior at unu, cuiiiu um
quart of milk into the old gentleman's
ttl-. A.n? rwuM evn aVutit: Tnis. bllKl neM . .
Parallel to the Tlchborne Case. ,
A rnrions parallel to tne story tola rV
tne Ticnborne - claiment Has recently
vuata vo ngnt m juigianu. a " muu i
be an actual occurrence, which took
place in the very neighborhood in Aus
tralia wnere me claimant nrsi appeunxi,
A young English nobleman having fallen '
into dissipation left England, sailed
about the world, and finally reached Aus
tralia. There be took servioe as a snep
herd, and for several years kept sheep
for a farmer One day, while packinio;
vg something in a piece of anHngUsu
newspaper, his eve was caught by an
adverusement stating that nia father bad
died, the title and proporty falling to
himself, and offering 200 for his di
oovery.' .This shepherd-lord actually
managed to get the money offered for the
discovery, of himself, drank it up, but
has refused to leave Australia. ' Knowing
the family banker, he sends pretty re-u-larly
for money, but he has newer, Lk
the claimant now ia prison, sent to a dif
ferent banker from the one which ha '
himself had ordered his money to be de
posited. . - ' -"
' Oat tkb.Wai. It was night. A po
liceman was pacing his lonely beat,
wondering if it would ever be his luck to
find a fat wallet when no one was around. -Through
the gloom and darkness a boy
appeared, some bread and meat under
one arm, an old army blanket under the
other and a butcher-knife ia his belt.
" Whither ?" growled the ofSoer aa hs
: And through the dark shadows whioh
were hiding the boy from sight cams tha
"Off far Uie Black 'Uls." 2sfroi