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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (Dec. 25, 1874)
rnus:iF.D Kmi trtdat bt COLL. VjVIST J -L. li: V ALBANY, OREGON. HOTEL CLERKS. There is no use in putting on airs and denying it. We all tremble in the pres ence of a hotel clerk. All, -we say, though this is perhaps too sweeping, for those persons who, by some fortu nate fate, have made the acquaintance of those officials, actually know them intimately, and do not hesitate to call them by their Christian names ; to even abbreviate the latter, cutting "Thomas" iato "Tom" and "Alexander" into "Alick," or to slap them on the back with, "How are you, old boy?" that fairly makes the blood of an ordinary traveler curdle with apprehension. We once knew a man who had a philosophy about hotel clerks. " Now, mind," said he, "if yon want attention in a hotel, never try to play the mild and good-natured gentleman. Be gruff. Speak in a loud tone and as if you were accus tomed to command a regiment of slaves, and of speaking so that the whole bat talion could hear you at once and dis tinctly." We never quite agreed with that man, and yet it was surprising how attentive everybody about a public house became when he entered and opened his mouth. There is a deal of difference between the hotel in America and in France. In the latter country, as a writer very truly says: "Your lightest wish is a law to your land lord. Your whim is made as much of as though it was the most important matter in the world. Your landlady, the concierge, the femme tie chambre, Jean, who waits on you at the table, .taciines, who polishes your shoes all seem to exist for no other purpose than to anticipate your slightest wish, to see only that you are supremely happy. Nothing that you may want seems extra vagaut. You come home at 3 o'clock in the morning, and there is wait ing for you the smiling concierge, and may haps the buxom hostess herself, who rush to the door to meet you, to assist you to descend, to side witn you, and explain, if you have any difficulty with the cocher : and then who are ready with tho lighted candle and a half -hundred pleasant good-nights for you as you ascend the stairway to your room." An official of an American hotel wbo behaved in the above manner would be looked upon as a lunatic, and would probably be discharged on the spot. Of course, in our vast caravansaries, we do not expect that the hostess will be around looking after guests ; but how about a welcome word, a cheerful good night, or a nod of recognition, to show a traveler that he is not exactly regard ed as an alien enemy taking up quarters in the house vi et armis ? Here is about the way it goes in one of our American establishments : Time, 11:30 p. m. Scene, office of hotel. Enter dusty, worn and weary traveler with a bag and umbrella. Clerk, with pen behind his ear, hair freshly curled, mustache waxed, spot less linen, and a strong odor of musk. He is talking to the bookkeeper. Hear ing the bag and umbrella deposited on the counter, he turns, after lingering a moment for a word or two more, and faces the traveler, reversing the register as he does so, and looking bored. Traveler " Did Mr. Panhandle ar rive to-day, do you know ?" Clerk (Who at the moment the trav eler speaks has had his attention di rected to the wine man at the other side of the office, and has stepped dVer there, but returns.) " What dye say ?" Traveler " Is Panhandle, of Louis ville, here ?' Clerk (To the wine man, who hae said something.) "Well, let it b then till to-morrow." (To the traveler). ' "Mr. Hammill ? Where's he from?" Traveler "Mr. Panhandle, of Louisvilla?" Clerk (Looks over record) "No." Traveler (Registering) " What's the first train over the Alton and St. Louis in the morning ?" Clerk " Nine a. m., sir. Wish to go to your room ?" i Traveler " Yes." Cleik (Snaps his finger and whistles to the bell-boy) " Show the gentleman o 19,040." The traveler has an impression by this time that if he should die in the night he would slumber for ages in that vast house, leaving his friends ignor ant of his mysterious fate. In the morning he goes down to take his leave, and the following colloquy occurs : i Traveler" What's my bill ?" I Cashier" What's the name?" Traveler " J enkins. " j Cashier" Four-fifty." And this ends the communication be tween Jenkins and his "hosts," so dalled. Altogether, it has been as cold as an icicle and as heartless as a sledge hammer. Of course, the above de scription does not apply to all hotel clerks. There are those who know the value of urbanity, and are discreet, if not naturally amiable enough to be polite and affable to guests, and give an air of welcome) and hospitality to the hotel, which pays abundantly in the end. We are having .schools estab lished for the training of servant girls, and housekeepers, and journalists, we believe. Why not have a college which shall turn out model hotel clerks ? There has just died at Paris a sur vivor of the battle of Trafalgar. His name was Plihon, and he was engaged as cabin-boy on board one of the French ships. His vessel was captured, and he was taken prisoner to England, and re mained there until the restoration of the Bourbons. While there, the then Archbishop of Canterbury took an in terest in him and gave him a good edu cation, including a knowledge of tho English language. On his return to France, he settled in Nantes, and for more than thirty years gained his living as a teacher of English. A HUMAN SKULL IN SOLID ROCK. A very strange discovery, interesting to geologists, is reported by the Osage Mission (Kansas) Journal. A human skull was recently found near that place imbedded in a solidrock which was broken open by blohng. Dr. Weirley, of Osage Mission, compared it with a modern skull which he had in his office, and found that though it re sembled the latter in general shape, it was an inch and a quarter in greatest diameter, and much better developed in some other particulars. He says of the relic : ' It is that of the cranium of human species, of large size, imbedded in conglomerate rock of the tertiary class, and found several feet beneath the surface. Parts of the frontal, parietal and occipital bones were car ried away by the explosion. The piece of rock holding the remains weighs some forty or fifty pounds, with many impressions of marine shells and through it runs a vein of quartz, or within the cranium crystallized organic matter, and by the aid of a microscope presents a beautiful appearance. Neither Lyell nor Hugh Miller, it is stated, nor any of the rest of the sub terranean explorers, report anything so remarkable as this discovery at Osae Mission. The Neander man comes nearest to it, but the Neanderthal bones were found in a loam only two or three feet below the surface, whereas this Kansas skull was discovered in solid rock. " THE ENGLISH A GR1 C UL T USA L STRIKE. A woman was at the bottom of the agricultural strike in England, says Kate Field, and thia was the way of it : Mrs. Vincent, wife to the editor of the Leamington Chronicle (who, by the way, lived many years in Massachusetts and got to be quite a Yankee), was run ning that paper in her husband's ab senee, one day in February, 1872, when a farm laborer walked into the office and said : " We're going to have a good meeting to-night, and we hope the Chronicle will send a reporter and make England hear us." " I don't see the necessity, " exclaimed the assistant editor a man. "I do," replied Mrs. Vincent. " There is nobody to send," argued the assistant editor. So;ne one was found, and the report did make England hear, and the revolution fol lowed. Hodge for the first time called for his rights, and took a long step toward getting them. Kate, who grew a redder Republican than ever in her English sojourn, thinks there are seri ous grounds for fearing that " the En glish revolution of 1895 may rival in atrocity as well as in beneficence that of the French a hundred years earlier." THE LIVERY OF THE CHURCH. HThA Xnrwirh ( fmn i Rultetin rplfit.es rio tr rrf th of fch ! TCorwioh ar,,l ' Ynrk Hn nf hn., h, i a skillful swindler. While the Church j Congress was in session in New York, a J man, who looked every inch an Episco , pal clergyman, called at the New Ifork J office of the Norwich line and wanted to I make arrangements for the transporta- tion of 600 Episcopal clergymen and I laymen, belonging in New England, to Boston. There ensued a suitable amount of discussion and of telegraphing to the i railroad men in Norwich, and at length ! a bargain was struck for carrying the i great 600 at $3 per man, the agent to receive 50 cents per ticket as his com i mission, amounting to 300. He then i paid for the tickets with a check for j $1,800, signed William E. Dodge, and they paid him his commission. Time came for the boat to leave, but not the 600. Not one of the great 600 were forthcoming, and the ideas dawned with startling rapidity in close succession upon the minds of the steamboat officials. The check was found to be a forgery, but the forger has so far escaped capture. ED UCA TED ENGLISHMEN. It is well known that the English are wonderfully ignorant of American geog raphy, but it is not often that they confess it. Lord Roseberg, in a recent speech in London, said that " he could walk up to a map in the dark and put his finger on the site of Ciosro's villa, but if any one asked him where San Francisco was he should have to think twice. " This remark recalls to the t able- talk editor of the Gentleman's Maya- n. Rimilnr remark of Mr. r!oh,1r, "These men," said Cobden, speaking of English Ambassadors, and of the necessity of turning them into commer cial travelers, " these men know where the Hissus in ; but they know nothing of the Mississippi." (It was twenty years ago. ) " Yet the Mississippi could float all the navies of Europe upon its dav to find J bosom, and it took me half a the HisBus when I was in Athens, and Half a dozen washer-women had dammed up the Hissus to wash their clothes. " The director of the Philadelphia mint in his last report describes what, in his opinion, would be the course of silver coin in regaining currency among the people in case the government were to issue it now. The demand for these coins comes from Texas and the Pacific coast, where they circulate as money. The first effect of any considerable issue of them would be to remove the differ ence in market value between silver coin and bullion in New York. Next they would be sent to Texas and the Pa cific in such amounts as to compel merchants there to refuse them in sums above five dollars. Ab soon as there was a glut in the only mar kets where they are now ' avail able as a circulating medium, they would gradually come into use in other quarters, and as paper money ap proached gold in value, they would ex pel the fractional notes, which latter are redeemable in United States legal tender notes. ' ' PLEA SA X T, WI OK SI) HO MB UR (I . A correspondent writing from Hom burg says : It is of course only natural and proper and in obvious accord with the eternal fitness, of things that a place so pleasant and yet gopd should be in the bands of the English. When Hom burg was wicked "pleasant, wicked Homburg, " Mr. Whyte-Melville calls it, just as he talks of " pleasant, wicked Pompeii " it was no less naturally in the hands ofthe French. French was there, as at Baden, the ruling tongue. They are beginning, though very slow ly, to return to both places, and having lived to see at Homburg French ladies dancing with German officers in Ger man uniform, I feel justified in enter taining some slight hope that I may outlive la revanche. But still English is now so completely the language of the place that in whatever numbers the French return, they ought to have no more chance of recovering Homburg than of getting India. We have more to fear from the Russians, and Btillmore formidable rivals than either are our enterprising and ubiquitous American cousins. At one or two of the tables d'hote here I have heard almost as much American as English. However, as the two Anglo-Saxon races can, on the whole, understand each other bet ter than they can understand any other race, their rivalry is pretty friendly, and each displays at the table d'hote quite as magnanimous tolerance as can be reasonably expected, considering the other's unnatural treatment of their common mother-tongue. Nevertheless, a possession so pleasant as Homburg ought not to be allowed to pass into the hands of even near relations, so I trust there may be a greater rush here than ever of the real, original English next season. There is no reason, by the way, why those whom it may suit should not come over for the winter, since the center of Homburg's happi ness and civilization, the Kursaal, is to be kept open all the year round. INCREASE OF EUROPEAN ARMIES The Berlin correspondent of the Lon don Times recently gave a published ta ble, wherein the increase of European armies for the last fifteen years was shown, from which we deduce the fol lowing facts : The increase which oc curred during that time in Austria wss 222,980 ; in Russia, 367,310 ; in Italy, 287,550 ; in Germany, 1,325,161 ; in France, 337,100 ; in England 233,020. The increase in the minor states has been proportionately as great, and yet, leaving that entirely out of the ques tion, we find that in fifteen years 2,873,- 121 more men have been added to the j standing armies of the above named powers, the highest proportion of sol diers to each million of inhabitants be- i reached in Germany, The statistics : certainly indicate gigantically indicate gigantically hostile preparations for peace, and evince, so far as Germany is concerned, the truth of Von Moltke's speech delivered at the close of the late war, that if Germany desires to remain what she has gained '. within the six months of her warfare with France, she must watch with "sword in hand" for the next fifty years. Evidently the other powers of ' Europe are slumbering in much the same manner. When the taxation req- uisite for the support of this immense 1 ly great non-producing element is taken into consideration, as well as the fact ; that it consists of the strongest and I most able-bodied portion of the popula ! tion, which is thereby drawn from the industrial and self-sustaining pursuits, ; some idea of the oppression under i which the laboring classes, upon whom : the chief support -of the army falls, : stagger, may be conceived, as well as ! the price which is paid for preserving peace among transatlantic empires and 1 kingdoms. LIMITS OF GREAT CITIES. The London Builder thinks that the time will soon come when the question j of the extreme limit to which cities can be extended will be solved. London has now an estimated population of I 3,400,700, and the question suggested by the Builder rises from the estimate j that 600,000,000 cubic feet of carbonic ! acid gas are respired in London every I twenty -four hours by human beings ! alone, and that 14,000 tons of coal are i , , 81ca" "IUI1 f WhlCD 18 Ca8t mto the atmosphere in daily consumed there, a great portion the partially volatilized form of smoke. But fortunately for the theories of the i dwellers in London, and fortunately for I the theories of the croakers, there are j many miles of fresh air above the city i comtantly replacing the vitiated at i mosphere of the streets. London may i be extended indefinitely with, in all ' ProDabiuty n perceptible change in ! flirt liffrt i-- 1 1 mc-ouppuruiig power oi aer at mosphere. The registration of births " T"1 la BO orgmy made mat tne estimates ot population based thereon very nearly agree with the actual count from the census re turns, and such registration has as yet given no signs of any increased ratio of deaths following the growth of Lon don. In this connection the fact may be noted that London contains as much population as the seventeen next principal cities of Great Britain and Ireland, and that, according to the la test estimates, the population of Lon don is increasing in a larger ratio than that of other cities. A Fbench engineer, M. Bazin, is con structing a vessel for marine express. It will be truly the express train of the ocean: with an engine of 1.500 horse I power it will have a capacity bf 2,200 j tons, will carry 250 passengers, 400 tons I of merchandise, and the postal service, j It will go at the rate of twenty knots an hour, that is to say, it will go from Havre to New York in six days. A waist of iady. time That of a stout old BEAUTY NO AGE. A writer says : " History is full of ( annnnnt.il nf til f fdHpinflfinna of women who were no longer young. Thus Pericles wedded Aspasia when she was thirty-six, and yet she afterward, for thirty years or more, wielded an undiminished reputation for beauty. Cleopatra was past thirty when Antony fell under her spell, which never lessened until her death, nearly ten years after, and Livia was thirty-three when she won the heart of Augustus, over whom she maintained her ascendency to the last. Turning to more modern history, where it is possi ble to verify dates more accurately, we have the extraordinary Diane de Poitiers, who was thirty-six when Henrj II. (then Duke of Orleans and just half her age) became attached to her ; and she was held as the first lady and most beautiful woman at court, up to the period of the monarch's death, and of the accession to power of Catherine of Medicis. Anne of Austria was thirty eight when she was described as the handsomest Queen of Europe, and when Buckingham ann Rishelieu were her jealous admirers. Ninon de l'Enclos. the most celebrated wit and beauty of her day, was the idol of three generations of the golden youth of France, and she was seventy-two when the Abbe de Bernis fell in love with her. True it is that in the case of this lady a rare combination of culture, talents and personal, attractions en dowed their possessor seemingly with the gifts of eternal youth. Bianca Capello was thirty-eight when the Grand Duke Francisco of Florence fell cap tive to her charms and made her his wife though he was five years her junior. Louis XIV. wedded Mme. de Main tenon when she was forty-three years of age. Catherine II. of Russia was thirty three when she seized the Empire of Russia and captivated the dashing young Gen. Orloff. Up to the time of her death (at sixty-seven) she seems to have retained the same bewitching powers, for the lamentations were heartfelt among all those who had ever known her personally. Mile. Mars, the celebrated French tragedienne, only attained the zenith of her beauty and power between forty and forty-five. At that period the loveliness of her hands and arms especially were celebrated throughout Europe. The famous Mme. Recamier was thirty-eight when Barras was ousted from power, and she was, without dispute, declared to be the most beautiful woman in Europe, which rank she held for fifteen years." THE HOURS AT WHICH DEATH OC- CUR. In a paper contributed by Dr. Law son to the West-Riding Asylum Medi cal Reports, England, for 1874, several interesting observations are recorded regarding the number of deaths which occur during the different hours of the day. Following up the researches of Schneider and others, who had shown that the greatest number of deaths take place during the ante-meridian hours. Dr. Lawson has been able to determine more closely the time of day when the greatest and least number of deaths oc cur. Supplementing the statistics of other institutions by those of the West Riding asylum, he finds that deaths from chronic diseases are more numer ous between the hours of 8 and 10 in the morning than any other time of the day, while they are fewest between the hours of 8 and 10 in the evening. In the case of acute diseases, such as con tinued fevers, pneumonia, etc., a differ ent result has been obtained. Follow ing up what had been pointed out by other authorities, Dr. Lawson shows that the largest number of deaths from this class of diseases take place either in the early morning, when the powers of life are at their lowest, or in the af ternoon, when acute disease is most ac tive. The occurrence of these definite daily variations in the hourly death rate is shown, in the case of chronic dis eases, to be dependent on recurring variations in the energies of organic life ; and in the case of acute diseases the cause is ascribed either to the ex istence of a well-marked daily extreme of bodily depression, or a daily maxi mum intensity of acute disease. DANCES. Dancing in Russia is said to be rather a heavy pastime. The peasants, in dancing, merely sway backward and foward to the balateica, a long guitar, I whnsA notes are freauently drowned by the shouts and songs of bystanders. The Cossack's dance is described as a noisy tramp. But the Court dance the polonaise (f Polish origin, as its name indicates) is simply a promenade or march, which affords the best op portunities for conversation, while the strictest etiquette may be observed. The redowa, mazurka, and varsovienne are all of Polish orgin. The jig and country dances (contre danse) are purely English, while the reel is unmistakably Scotch. The minuet originated in the old French of Poitou, and was after ward introduced into England, where it was long and deservedly popular. The waltz, contrary to popular belief, is also of French origin. The polka was brought from Hungary in 1840. The election of President Polk about the time it became popular here, gave rise to the erroneous notion that the new dance had been named in his honor. The cotillon known as the German is really a very old daace, slightly modi fled. The Orientals are fond of wit ness ig ballets and intricate pas seuls, but never dance themselves. The brave talk by people not em ployed in banks, as to what they would have done if they had been in the place of the Milford cashier, reminds a Lowell cashier of the message from a landlord in Ireland to his agent : " Tell the tenants that no threats to shoot you will intimidate me in the least." REALtSTIC ACCESSORIES. The play-actors of New York are greatly excited at the row which has taken place between Manager Daly and his leading man, George Clarke. If the latter hadn't much histrionic skill to boast of, he oonld at least pride him self upon a mustache whose merit was recognized by half the maidens attend ant upon the matinees. JJaly is a real ist. One evening he was in the audi torium of his theatre when "The School for Scandal " was on the boards, and observed what had not struck him be fore, th&.t Charles Surface, otherwise Mr. Clarke, was actually violating the proprieties by wearing a mustache. In stantly he dispatched a bulletin to the green-room, directing that all mus taches be shaved by the next perform ance. Clarke saw the mandate and was enraged. He instantly sought an in terview with the exacting manager. What followed is narrated by the local press of New York, which thought the subject of sufficient interest to inter view the actor. One of the journals has the following : " ' Mr. Daly,' said L I shall not shavemy mustache for to-morrow night. ' But,' said he, 'the order has been posted requiring it. ' ' His answer galled me,' said Mr. Clarke. His men tion of the order smacked of fines and forfeiture I felt as though I was being bought and sold, and I rebelled.' Mr. Daly,' said Clarke, I will not play to morrow night unless I can play with mustaches. It will be no great viola tion of the unities of the play. It has been so played before. Lester Wallack acted Charles Surface with both side whiskers and mustache. If you wAnted me to be the Hunchback would you send me to a gymnasium to break my back ?' ' I have nothing more to say to you,' rep'li d Mr. Daly. 'Then,' said Clarke, 'you can make your first appear ance on the stage as Charles Surface. I play for ambition a3 well as money, and I must leave you.' Then Clarke changed his clothes, took his hat, and left the theatre." Clarke has been long enough out of employment to regret his haste. By maintaining the integrity of his mus tache has sacrificed a salary of $100 per week, and though lots of girls have written encouragement arjd consolation, he does not find that such letters put money in his purse. HARD AND SOFT WATER. There is a notion quite prevalent in the minds of the people that the drink ing of hard water is injurious to health, and most physicians have warned people to as far as possible avoid the practice. But Dr. Letherby, an English physician, who has devoted much time to investi gating the subject, finds, as the result of his observations, that hard water is not only clearer, colder, more free from air and more agreeable to the taste than soft, but that it is less liable to the ab sorption of organic matter and to the sustenance of the life of zymotic organ isms, or to exert solvent properties upon salts of iron or upon leaden con ducting pipes. And he claims that the lime salts exert a beneficial influence. It is asserted that a practical test of the truth of this new theory is to be had in the case of the residents of mountain ous districts, where the water is almost invariably hard, and where the inhab itants exhibit the best physical develop ment. He claims that water containing about six grains of carbonate of lime to the gallon is suitable for use in all household purposes, for such water offers the necessary amount of carbonate of lime for the support of life in the simplest and most digestible form. " THE T WO UREA THS." So far as pure air is concerned, some hints are given by Canon Kingsley which may be useful evea to the poor, or to en ployers who care for the poor. He describes what he calls " the two breaths," and their effects. The two are, of course, the breath you take in which " is, or ought to be, pure air, com posed, on the whole, of oxygen and nitro gen, with a minute portion of carbonic acid" and the breathy ou give out, which "is an impure air, to which has been ad ded, among other matters which will rot support life, an excess of carbonic acid." He then point3 out that this carbonic acid gas, when warm, is lighter than the air, and ascends ; and, when at the same temperature as common air, is heavier than that air, and descends, lying along the floor, " just as it lies often in the bottom of old wells or old brewers' vats, as a stratum of poison, killing occasion ally the men who descend into it." Hence a word of admonition is addressed to those who think nothing of sleepjng on the floor ; and hence, as "the poor are too apt, in times of distress, to pawn their bedsteads and keep their beds," the friends of the poor are entreated never to let this happen, and to " keep the bedstead, whatever else may go, to save the sleeper from the carbonic acid on the floor." Chambers' Journal. AN INTERESTING DISCOVERY. Some workmen, while engaged in laying water-pipes in Cividale, Italy, re cently encountered a large flat stone. On raising this a bed of mason-work was revealed, in which was placed a stone sarcophagus covered with a mar ble lid. Within the receptacle were the remains of a human skeleton, some portions of which were yet perfect. Be side the body lay a sword, lance, hel met, spears, a gold clasp and ring, a piece of very beautiful gold tissue, and a flask of water, which was still re markably clean. The removal of clay from the bottom of the grave brought out the letters GISVL from which archaeologists have decided that the re mains are those of Gisulf, Duke of the Lombard Marches of Friuli, who fell in battle in 611, while repelling an invasion of the Avare. SEVENTY THOUSAND VICTIMS. j The Missions Catholiques publishes the following letter from Mgr. Puginier, Vicar Apostolic to Eastern Tong-King ; j I hasten to thank you for the interest you have manifested in our cause by publishing several articles on the per secutions of Tong-King. The readers of the Missions Catholiques must have been touched by the terrible misfor tunes of our Christians, and will not have omitted to ask the Divine Master to restore peace and prosperity to his church in China. God will hear the prayers of our martyrs. The massacre of Christians and the pillaging and bu ning of their villages commenced in my mission, and thence spread into that of Mgr. Gauthier. How can I ever describe to you the horrors we have witnessed, and which we were ut terly unableto prevent ? The literati, freed from all restraint, excited by love of pillage, and drunk with blood, abandoned all restraint, and their wrath knew no bounds. Armed with lances, guns, and even cannons, they threw themselves, followed by numer ous bands of lawless men, upon the Christian villages, none of which were strong enough to defend themselves. They killed men, women, and children without distinction, sparing neither those who asked for pity nor those who refused to do so. A schoolmaster, see ing the literati coming, took refuge in the church, and there, prostrate before the altar, implored the mercy of God. The murderers arrived. They seized him in the sanctuary and scalped him. He still continued to pray, and they at last cut his head off. Among them were several old men, women, girls and even chil dren. Three priests, twenty missionary students, and ten catechists or scholars of Mgr. Gauthier met with the same fate. About 70,000 Christians, in both missions, were totally ruined and dis persed. The majority of them were killed in the sack of the villages ; many were ordered to apostatize, and on re fusing to do so, condemned to death. A great many are still hidden in the mountains, living there on roots and herbs. Others have taken refuge with pagan friends. Over thirty piesby teries, 200 churches, 300 villages, con taining 14,000 families and ten convents of Annamite nuns have been pillaged and burnt. The material loss to the missions is over 400,000 francs, and that of the Christians exceeds 15,000,000 francs. The labor before us is im mense. We have, first of all, to bring the despersed Christians back to their villages, and and they are nearly naked and without money. Moreover, their houses being burnt, we shall have to help them to rebuild. I estimate that each mission will require at least 300,000 francs to put it to rights, and where are' we to get the money ? We trust in Providence, and entreat the aid of God through the intercession of his latest martyrs.'' THA T LITTLE GIRL. The jovial captain of one of the steamships now in port tells a good story relative to the May and Decem ber marriages so common in Brazil. A Brazilian gentleman, apparently over 50 years of age, was a passenger on his vessel. He was accompanied by two girls, one about 15, and another younger. The gentleman was sea-sick in the cabin, and the girls were on deck, whereupon the captain endeavored to amuse them took them . on his knees, and told them stories, while he enjoyed their prattle and pretty smiles. In the midst of this pleasant occupa tion the gentleman came on deck. With a fierce expression he gazed upon the scene for a moment, and then inquired in a harsh, husky voice; "You, sir; are you married?" "Yes; I have a daughter older than your little girl here," said the Captain. "She re minds me veri much of mine." Here he patted the pretty cheek. " That little girl, sir," exclaimed the indignant Brazilian, with great emphasis, " that little girl is my wife, sir." The cap tain collapsed. ARHITRA TION. The trades unions in England are gaining a little sense. Pas': experience has shown them that little is to be gained by prolonged strikes, and the workmen and their employers have re 'cently begun to try arbitration as a means of settling their disputes. An amicable adjustment of the troubles at Bolton several months ago was brought about bv this means, and now the min- ers in Yorkshire, who, to the number of twelve thousand, struck work the other day, have gone to wark, leaving the ar bitrators the work of settling all differ ences. This is by far the wisest course for workmen to pursue, not only in En gland but elsewhere. Strikes not only create hard feeling between master and servant, but entail great hardship upon the latter, who are sometimes thrown out for weeks together, losing their wages without any compensating re turn. A calm discussion of all such differences is almost invariably the best ; strikes should only be resorted to under the pressure of great wrongs for which there is no other remedy. Charles Lamb would not allowany great antiquity for wit, and apostrophiz ing candle-light, said : " This is our peculiar and household planet ; wanting it, what savage, unsocial nights our an cestors must have spent, wintering in caves and unillnminated fastnesses 1 They must have lain about and grum bled at each other in the dark. What repartees could have passed when you must have felt about for a smile, and handled a neighbor's cheeks to be sure he understood it." If the patient does not recever his health, ought the physioian to recover his fees ? A STRANGE DREAM FULFILLED. Rev. L. W. Lewis, in his "Reminis cences of the War," published in the Texas Christian Advocate, relates the annexed remarkable instance as literally true. The battle referred to was that of Prairie Grove, m Northwest Ar kansas, fought Dec. 7, 1862: A curious fulfilment of a dream oc curred at the battle under my own eyes. A man by the name of Joe WTHfame had told a dream to many of his.fellow soldiers, some of whom had related it to me months previous to the occur rence which I now relate- " He dreamed that we crossed a riv er, marched over a mountain, and camped near a church located in a wood near which a terrible battle en sued, and m a charge, just as we crossed a ravine, he was shot in the breast. On the ever memorable 7th of December, 1862, as we moved at double quick to take our place in the line of battle, then already hotly engaged, we passed Prairie Grove Church, a small frame building, belonging to the Cumberland Presbyterians. I was rid ing in the flank of the command, and opposite to Williams, as we came in view of the house. ' This is the church, Colonel, I saw in my dream,' said he. I made no reply, and never thought of the matter again until the evening. We had broken the enemy's line, and were in full pursuit, when we came upon a dry ravine in the wood, and Williams said, ' Just on the other side of the hol low I was shot in my dream, and I will stick my hat under my shirt.' Suiting the action to the word as he ran along, he doubled it up and crammed it in his bosom. Scarcely had he adjusted it before a minie ball knocked him out of line. Jumping up quickly he pulled out his hat, and shouted, ' I'm all right ! ' The ball raised a black spot abont the size of a man's band just over his heart and dropped into his shoe. " ANCIENT COURTESY. George Vaudenhoff writes to the New York Tribune to prove that Macbeth was a gentleman. Says he : ' When Macduff and Lenox announce to him that the King has rewarded his valor by creating him Thane of Cawdor, and that they are deputed as tho messengers to inform him of the honor, he replies : ('lam s and Taaiie of Cawdor ! The greatest in behind ! 7 tumk-i.for "your jHXini. And again, immediately after : Two truths are told As happy prologues to the swelling act Of the Imperial theme. - thank tiov gfntLemen. Thus he twice pointedly and courte ously returns thanks to them for the trouble they have taken in coming to him on the part of the King. Immedi ately after, before going out with them, he pays them this elegantly-worded compliment, full of courtesy and high breeding : Kind gentlemen, your pains are registered Where every day 1 turn the leaf to read them. Meaning, of course, in his heart. Could any modern politeness surpass that ? He keeps a register in his heart, of their kindness, and every day refreshes his memory of it." FOUNTAIN FEN. In spite of the recognized desira bility of a pen that will retain a supply of ink for some time, no one of the various and more or less complicated forms of so-called fountain-pens has proved en tirely satisfactory, although generally comparatively expensive. According to the following plan, suggested by En gineer Klette, any one can in a lew minutes construct a pen of the kind, that will be entirely satisfactory. Two ordinary steel pens are fixed in the same holder in such a way that they may be separated by a space of about 1-25 of an inch, and that the point of the upper one may be a little above that of the other. By selecting for the upper pen one with a bend in the middle, this will be most readily accomplished. In dip ping into the ink, it rises and fills the space between the pens, and flows down gradually, as wanted in writing. Sambo wanted to buy some land, but he had only half enough money. " Well," said the agent, "the price is 900, but I'll take 3450 and a mortgage for the balance in a year." Sambo scratched his wool. " But I. say, boss, s'pose a feller hain't got no morgitch ?" In vain the agent explained, when up steps Bill and says, " lean 'lueidate dat p'int. A morgitch is like this yer : S'pose yon paysde boss $450 down and gives yer word and honor of an honest nigger to pay him de udder $450 in a year ; den s'pose on de very last ob de year yer pays $449 and don't pay him de oder dollar, why den de morgitch says de boss can jtss take all de money and de land, and yon don't have nuffin' not a cent." "Golly, boss, a mor gitch makes a nigger mighty honest." A comparative statement of the gross earnings of sixteen leading rail ways in Illinois, Michigan, Iowa, Ohio and Texas for the month of October exhibits a healthful condition of West ern trade that was hardly expected. The gross earnings of these roads for Octo ber, 1874, were 3.587,775, against S3, 483,476 for October, 1873 an increase of $104,299. This is a very small in crease, it is true, but the fact that there has been any increase at all, in a year supposed to be peculiarly unsatisfac tory in its business results, is the fact that arrests attention. Anxious mamma (to her brother-in-law, who is also the family doctor) "By-the-by, Alexander, I'm so glad you've come. I wanted to talk to you about baby. I can't understand why he doesn't speak yet. Surely he ought to by this time." Alexander " Weel, ye see, Ann, ye just talk the vara high est o' IngliBh, an' my brother John, again, he just talks the vara braidest o' Scotch ; an' the puir bairn, ye see, it has na just made up its mind which side of the house it'll just tak' till." Ihtneh.