PTIBLISBTED EVTSRY FTIT DAT BY COLL. VAN CLKVE. j ALBANY, OREGON. A STRUGGLE FOR A CROWS. My first desire, on reaching London, was to visit the world-renowned Tower. The immense pile stands on the eastern extremity of the eity, and is wonder fully imposing -not for its architectural beauty, for it has none, but for its gloomy, solemn solidty every stone seeming to frown defiance to chance and time. It appears to have been built to last forever. Commenced more than eight centuries ago, by William the tjoiiqueror, it gradually increased in strength and importance, until its name became familiar throughout the civil ized world. For centuries it was the abode of royalty, and the Kings and Queens of England not only found shelter within its walls in time of war, bnt homes of luxury and magnificence in time of peace. In process of time, it became a prison as well as a palace ; and, if the dumb stones could be made to speak, we should shudder at the blood-curdling secrets they would reveal. Among the unhappy victims who have perished here, mostly at the hands of the heads man, we recall the names of Lady Jane Grey, Catherine Howard, Anne Boleyn, Sir Walter Raleigh, King John of France, William Wallace, Lord William Russell, tbe Countess of Salisbury, Sir Thomas More, and a whole army of other unfortunates, conspicuous for their crimes or their virtues, their mis fortunes or their intrigues. The immense structure covers an area of 12 acres, and within this space numerous separate buildings have been erected, including the Barracks, White Tower, St. Peter's Tower, Bloody Tower, in which the young Princes were mur dered ; the Bowyer Tower, in which the Duke of Clarence was drowned in a cask of wine ; the Brock Tower, in which Lady J ane Grey was confined ; the Beauchamp Tower, which was once the prison of Anne Boleyn ; the Museum, Armories, Picture Galleries, and the famous Jewel-House. Within the latter building are kept the crown jewels of the British empire. Prominent among them is the crown worn by Victoria at the time of her coronation, which originally cost nearly SI, 000,000, and which contains, in the aggregate, 2,809 diamonds of various sizes, and all of unrivaled brilliancy. Besides, the Jewel-House contains num erous other crowns, of monarchs long since dead ; the Orb a globe of gold, 6 inches in diameter, studded with dia monds ; St. Edward's Staff, of solid gold, 4 feet and 7 inches long, and weighing 10 pounds ; the Golden Scep ter ; the world-renowned Koh'noor, valued at $16,000,000 ; and numerous other jewels of enormous value, the property of the nation, and essential to the maintenance of royal magnificence and pomp. These baubles have a curious history. In the early days of the nation, when her monarchs were both poor and proud, these glittering appendages of the Kingly estate were not infrequently ' sp luted" to raise money to meet their pxrsoial expenses. Henry IIL, Ed ward III., Henry V., Henry VL, and Richard II. , each borrowed large sums of money from the me chants of Lon don, leaving with he lenders these crown treasures as a pledge that the loans would be repaid. On the abolition of monarchy in En gland, after the death of Charles I., the jewels were stolen, destroyed or sold. On the restoration, Charles II. caused a new regalia to be constructed, at a cost of $1,500,000 ; and a large chamber in the Tower was set apart for their safe-keeping, which is now known as the Jewel-House. It struck the writer as a little singular that the English government should enact an insignifi cant fee from each visitor ; and I could not repress the thought, and hardly the expression, that it was unseemly fer the British nation to turn showman, and exhibit the baubles of its sovereign at so much per head. Though the Jewel- Hause is situated near the center of a large collection of buildings known by the general name of the Tower of London, the yards, walks and corridors, of which are ever swarming with people, and though carefully watched and strongly guarded, numerous and ingenious attempts have been made to steal the jewels. Among the most noted, as well as the most daring, of these attempts, was that of CoL Blood, made in 1671, which, for ingenuity of plot and boldness of execution, has not been excelled by any thing in these modern dayss. Blood was the son of a wealthy Irish merchant, whose means enabled him to give his son a liberal education, and whose social position secured him the advantages of good society. Young Blood was a Liberal in sentiment, and served in the Cromwell army, where he ttained the rank of Colonel. On the restoration, his estates were confiscated for the part he had borne in the revo lution, and he became a penniless wanderer. The Duke of Ormond, Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland, had been very active in procuring the confiscation of Blood's ' property, and the latter resolved upon revenge. Calling to his aid four dar ing and desperate men, whom he had known in the army, he mounted them on fleet horses, and waited the oppor tunity. One dark, stormy night, as the Duke's carriage was passing along the streets of London, the vehicle was stopped, his Grace dragged from it, bound, mounted behind one of his cap tors, and hurried away toward Tyburn their avowed intention being to hang him on the gallows there. Fortunately, on the way, he succeeded in loosening the cords, jumped from the horse, and escaped in the pitchy darkness. A reward of $10,000 was offered for the arrest of the daring kidnappers, but none were ever apprehended, and it was many years before Blood's agency in the business was known, or even sus pected. His next exploit was an attempt to steal the crown. He needed money, and he hated royalty ; and these rea sons were quite sufficient to prompt him to the commission of the offense. The valuables were in the jewel house, under a glass case, and under the especial care of Talbot Edwards, an old officer of the King's household. But Blood was not easily baffled. He spent several months devising the manner of the robbery and perfecting the means of escape. He found that it was essential that he should first establish relations of inti macy with the family of the keeper. So he assumed the garb of a clergyman, and, in company with s woman of the town, whom he had thoroughly msti not ed as to his designs, he visited the Jewel-House, introducing the woman as his wife. While examining the jewels the wom an, in accordance with her instruc tions, feigned sudden illness, swooned, and was carried by the kind-hearted keeper to his private apartments, where Mrs. Edwards rendered her every possi ble attention. The bogus parson professed the deep est gratitude for this kindness, and, in a few days, returned with some valua ble presents for Mrs. Edwards, as a token of his appreciation of her kind ness to his wife. An intimacy thus gradually grew up between the design ing hypocrite and the Edwards family. They were charmed by his general ur banity, apparent respectability, and seeming piety ; and their blind confi dence greatly lessened the difficulties of the villain's task. Among the members of Mr. Edwards' family was a handsome daughter, some seventeen years of age, in whom Blood professed a deep interest, and finally proposed to her parents a marriage with a nephew of his, whom he represented to be young, respectable and pious, with an income of 300 a year. The young lady's parents approved the sug gestion, and it was arranged that the suitor should call on a certain day Monday, May 1). On the evening be fore the time appointed, Blood called, a.id requested that, for reasons which he proceeded to give, his nephew might be received at 7 o'clock in the morning an hour, it will be perceived, when few people would be likely to be abroad ; and also asked permission for his nephew to bring two friends with him to see the regalia assigning as a reason that the friends were compelled to leave London at an early hour. The simple-minded Mr. Edwards was only too glad to oblige his esteemed friend, and gladly consented to the ar rangement. At an early hour in the morning the family were up, and pre pared to receive their guests and future son-in-law. Promptly the pretended parson and his friends made their appearance every one of them being a conspirator, and each of them carrying concealed under his cloak a short sword, a dirk, and a pair of pistols. Greeting Mr. Edwards warmly, Blood apologized, and begged one more favor : that his friends might be shown the regalia at once, as they were pressed for time and anxious to depart. Ac cordingly, the party was conducted to the jewel-room Mr. Edwards carefully closing the door after him, as was his custom. The " nephew " had been left at the entrance, to warn the conspira tors inside of approaching danger. The door had no sooner closed than the three villains threw of their dis guise, and, drawing their weapons, rushed upon the old man and threat ened him with instant death if he gave the slightest alarm. But the gallant keeper was not easily intimidated, and shouted lustily for assistance ; where upon he was knocked down, cruelly beaten, and left for dead. Having thus disposed of the faithful sentinel, Blood and his confederates set rapidly at work to possess themselves of the coveted treasure. The glass case in which it was inclosed was shivered at a single blow, and the Golden Crown, glittering with its wealth of gems, was quickly seized, and concealed under the chief conspirator's ample cloak. Par rott, another of the robbers, took pos session of the Orb and other gems ; while another proceeded to file the Golden Scepter in two, that it might the more readily be concealed. Everything had thus far been aus picious. The scheme had been cun ningly devised ; the simple-minded keeper had unwittingly extended to the robbers every aid they needed ; and they now found themselves alone in the jewel house, well armed, and in pos session of the coveted booty; and it was only the merest accident which prevented the complete success of the bold scheme. A son of Mr. Edwards, who was an officer on an English trad ing vessel, chanced to arrive in port that morning, in company with a brother-in-law, Capt. Blackman, of the British army, who had been a passen ger on his vessel, and they hastened at once to call upon the elder Edwards. They passed Blood's pretended nephew at the door, and proceeded di rectly to the keeper's room. The sen tinel immediately notified his accom plices of the approaching danger, when they made haste to gather such treas ures as they could conceal, and beat a hasty retreat. But no sooner had they left the room than Edwards, who had shrewdly feigned insensibility, raised himself from the pool of blood in which he had been lying, and shouted for help with all his remaining strength. The robbers had, in their hasty flight, left tne door of the room open, and his cries were heard by his daughter, who was passing along the hall to the draw ing room, to which she had been sum moned to meet her brother. Hastening to the room from which the cries pro ceeded, she took in the situation at a glance, and ran shrieking to the room where her brother and Capt. Blackman were in waiting, exclaiming that her father had been murdered and the crown stolen. Young Edwards and his com panion hastened to the jewel house, and lifted up the wounded man ; but, at his earnest request, they left him and went in pursuit of the robberr, who were straining every nerve to escape. They had made their way out of the building, and crossed the court yard without mo lestation, and reached the drawbridge over the moat. Here they came upon a sleepy sentinel, who halted them ; but Blood discharged a pistol at his head, when the frightened man, though unhurt, fell, and the fugitives passed over him, cleared the outer gate, and nearly reached the park, where fast horses had been provided for them. Bat the two pursuers had not been idle, and were rapidly gaining on them. Just as Blood cleared the last gate Capt. Blackman came up with him, and they grapled. A fierce struggle en sued, but the Captain succeeded in overcoming his antagonist, and the crown was wrenched from his grasp. As the daring man saw his hopes thus disappear, and escape impossible, he quietly surrendered, and playfully re marked to his captor, " It was a gallant struggle, however unsuccessful. It was a straggle for a crown." Parrot and the other accomplices, who had the orb and other jewels, were soon overtaken and captured, and ultimately the woman who had so effectually aided the plot in its inception was arrested. Thus ended this bold attempt to steal the English crown an attempt with few parallels in any age. The King was enraged at this insolent attack on the emblems of royalty, and ordered Blood to be immediately exam ined in his presence. Before the King, Blood preserved the most insolent effrontery. He as sured his Majesty that he feared nothing human or divine. He was in their power, and expected to suffer. But, he said, he waa allied to one of the most powerful organization in the kingdom, consisting of thousands of men who had solemnly sworn to stand by each other and avenge their wrongs. He men tioned several mysterious assassinations which had recently taken place, and declared that they had fallen by the hand of the avenger; and that the brotherhood had a dagger for every man who harmed one of its members. He said he would not threaten, but he would say, in all kindness, to his Majesty and his Ministers, that, if he suffered, their fate would assuredly be the same as those he had mentioned. As he said this, he was looking di rectly at the King, and, noticing that he was affected, he proceeded to say : "But, if your Majesty would spare the lives of a few men, you might oblige the hearts of many ; and your Majesty will find that those who are so bold and daring in mischief can, if par doned and received into favor, perform eminent service for the state." The weak monarch was frightened at Blood's revelations, though they were, in all probability, false ; and the fear of violence, and the hope of gaining the favor of the powerful faction Blood was supposed to control.induced him to deal very leniently with the criminal. True, he was returned to prison ; but com fortable quarters were assigned him, and his restrictions gradually removed, until finally he was fully released, all proceedings against him dismissed, and he was even granted large estates in Ireland. His influence with the King became very great, and he soon took up his residence in London, and was ad mitted to the best society, where he was courted and flattered because of his in fluence with the Crown. He died in 1090, leaving property valued at S250.000. All his accom plices in the great crime suffered death. A Farmer's Boy. Over fifty years ago a youth working on a farm asked his father to give him money enough to buy a gun. The old man could not spare it ; but the boy, nothing daunted, found an old piece of iron about the place, and in the course of time contrived to make a gun-barrel out of it, with the very meager facilities afforded by a country blacksmith's shop. He had not the materials to make a lock and stock, so he walked to the nearest town and traded for the necessary at tachments, and was encouraged by the smith for having made so good a shooter. This gave him the ambition to make another ; so he went to cutting out grindstones from the native rock to raise the money for gun materials, and in a shoit time there was a considerable demand for guns of his make. During the French war with Prussia he was called upon to furnish guns for the army, and in less than eight months he made and delivered to the government of France rifles of a particular pattern, costing $5,000,000, which amount was duly paid. The same man furnishes rifles now for the United States, South America, Rome, Spain, Egypt, and Japan. The farmer's boy who wanted a gun is Eliphalet Remington, of Hion, N. Y. His manufactory covers four acres of ground, and he employs 1,200 men. Not satisfied with this achieve ment, he has recently completed a sew ing machiue, which is reported to rep resent the latest and most perfect ad vance in the improvement of this im portant adjunct of domestic economy. This is the type of a boy who, when there is not a way, makes a way for himself. Politeness Extraordinary. When the " Te Deum " for the vic tory was celebrated, Thiers and Mac Mahon both attended the solemn cere monv in the church at Versailles. Two arm-chairs had been placed near the high altar, one for Madame the wife of the Marshal, the other for Mme. Thiers, wife of the President of the Republic. Mme. MacMahon, born Duchess of Castree, understood her position, and, knowing that the right is the place of honor, modestly seated herself on the left. While the Duchess was still kneeling, Mme. Thiers arrived. "Dear Madame, your chair is on the other side !" ' You are too good, Madame I Really I cannot consent." "Take itr I beg !" " Since you desire it ; but really you embarrass me 1" And Mme. MacMahon rose from her knees and betook herself to the right and continued her prayers, while Mme. President Thiers knelt os tentatiously at the left. The ceremony over Mme. MacMahon expressed her acknowledgments for the courtesy of Mme. Thiers. " Yon have nothing to thank me for," the latter replied. " You did not know, of course, that when I came in you were occupying my place !" " Your place ! On the left, Mme. Presidents ?" " Certainly, Mme. Marshale. The Queens of France always placed them selves at the left of the altar. It was the only place, indeed, where the Queen did not seat herself on the right ; it is so in order that the Queen might be first under the hand of the Bishop as he turns to give the benediction. " The gratitude of Mme. MacMahon, born a Castree, for this lesson in royal etiquette which the daughter of M. Dosne had condescended to give her, may be imagined. Galaxy. Corn in England. The N. Y. Tribune contains the fol lowing: It would be strange indeed if we should be indebted to England for a variety of corn hardy enough to resist severe frosts. A statement is, however, published in the English papers that " Cobbett's thousand-fold . acclimated Indian corn " has been successfully adapted to the cool and variable climate of England, in which heretofore our corn could not be grown or ripened. William Cobbett will be remembered as the English Liberal agitator who for some time had his residence upon Long Island. His son, William Cobbett, has long been endeavoring to introduce the growth of corn into England, and now it seems he claims to have succeeded. We learn that upwards of three acres of this acclimated corn is now growing at Hounslow, near London, and that it has successfully withstood some severe frosts with great hardihood, and is now very promising. If our neighbors in the East have really produced a frost proof corn so prolific as it is made to appear by the sounding title given to it, and which we have quoted, it will go to shake our faith in our permanent de pendence upon Europe as a market for our surplus crop of this cereal, and, on the contrary, cause us to look thither for a supply of seed of so valuable a plant. But we are somewhat doubtful as to the truth of this statement. Glue fob Wounds. Glue of best quality on a cloth placed over a flesh wound is said to be not only a speedy curative but a formidable protection against further injury. When dry it shrinks, holding the wound tight and firm. Every two or three davs the (wound should be dressed and fresh ap plication of glue be made. Don't Please, Don't. Don't tell the little one, who may be slightly willful, that "the black man will come out of the dark cellar and carry it off if it does not mind." Don't create a needless fear to go with the child through all the stages of its ex istence. Don't tell the little five-year-old Jim my " the sohool ma'am will cat off his ears " " pull out his teeth " " tie him up " or any of the horrible stories that are commonly presented to the childish imagination. Think you the little one will believe anything yon tell him after he becomes acquainted with the gentle teacher who has not the least idea of putting these terrible threats into exe cution ? Don't tell the children they must not drink tea because it will make them black, while you continue the use of it daily. Your example is more to them than precep; ; and while your face is as fair as a June morning they will scarce ly credit the oft-told tale. Either give up drinking the pleasant beverage or give your children a better reason for its non-use. Don't tell them that they must not eat sugar or sweetmeats, because it will rot their teeth. Pure sugar does not cause the teeth to decay ; and sugar with fruits is nutritious and healthy, notwithstanding the " old saw " to the contrary. The case of city children is often cited as if the cause of their pale faces and slight constitution were an over amount of sweetmeats with their diet, when the actual cause is want of pure air and proper exercise. Don't tell the sick one that the medi cine is not bad to take, when you can hardly keep your own stomach from turning " inside out " at the smell of it. Better by far to tell him the simple truth, that it is disagreeable, but neces sary for his health, and you desire him to take it at once. Ten to one he will swallow it with half the trouble of coax ing and worry of words, and love you better for your firm, decided manner. Don't teach the children by example to tell white lies to each other and to their neighbors. Guard your lips and bridle your tongue if you desire to have the generation truthful. Truth fulness is one of the foundation stones ef heaven. Remember the old, old Book says, " no liar " shall enter within the gates of the beautiful city. There is no distinction between white lies and those of a darker hue. The falsehood is an untruth, whether the matter be great or small. Rural New Yorker. The Warmth of Clothing. The London Medical Record says that Dr. Von Pettenkofer, in a careful study of this subject recently published, has pointed out that the permeability of stuffs to air is a condition of their warmth. Of equal surfaces of the fol lowing materials, he found that they were permeated by the following relative quantities of air, the most porous flannel, such as is used ordinarily for clothing, being taked at 100 ; flannel, 100 ; linen of medium fineness, 58 ; silk, 40 ; buck skin, 58 ; tanned leather, 1 ; chamois leather, 51. Hence, if the warmth of c'othing depend upon the degree in which it keeps out the air from our bodies, then glove-kid must be 100 times warmer than flannel, which every one knows is not the fact. The whole question, then, is resolved intolhat of ventilation. If several layers 1f the same material be placed together, and the air be allowed to permeate through them, the ventilation through the sec ond layer is not much less than through the first, since the meshes of the two form a system of continuous tubes of uniform diameter, and the rapidity of the movement of the air through these is affected merely by the resulting frio- j tion. xnrougn eur ciotning, men, tnere passes a stream of air, the amount of which, as in ventilation, depends upon the size of the meshes, upon the differ ence of temperature between the exter nal and internal atmosphere, and upon the velocity of the surrounding air. Our clothing, then, is required not to prevent the admission of the air, but to regulate the same so that our nervous system shall be sensible ef no move ment in the air. Further, our clothes, at the same time, regulate the tempera ture of the contained air, as it passes through them, so that the temperature of the air between the clothing and the surface of our body averages 84 deg. to 86 deg. Fahrenheit. Tne hygroscopic property of different material used for clothing essentially modifies their func tions. This property varies with the different materials ; wool, for instance, takes up more water than linen, while the latter takes up and gives off its wa tery contents more rapidly than the former. The more the air is displaced by water from the clothes, the less will be their power of retaining the heat ; in other words, they will conduct the heat more rapidly, and hence we are quickly chilled by wet garments. The Largest Yaulted Roof in the World. The largest vaulted roof in the world is claimed by Vienna that belonging to the great Exposition building. It is said to cover nine times the space of the dome of St. Paul's, in London ; eight times the area of the dome of St. Peter's, and seven times that of St. Sophia, at Constantinople. This miracle of architectural skill is 360 feet in diameter, 1,089 feet round, and stands on a ring of thirty columns 36 feet apart around the circumference. With in the ring of columns there is no sup port. The upper dome, 100 feet in diameter, admits light by a series of windows 40 feet high and 10 feet wide, between thirty columns which carry the upper dome. The slope of the cone is 30 deg. , and the length of the slope on all sides is 200 feet. The roof is formed of 360 iron plates, tapering uniformly upward from the circumference to the apex of the cone. They are riveted like the plates of a ship. A Beautiful Incident. A gentleman relates that many years ago he was on a visit to the Isle of Man, and during his walks he strolled into the churchyard, where repose the bodies of many faithful and hnmble Christians. Near a grave in a corner of the churchyard he noticed a lady with a little girl (the latter about 12 years of age) to whom she was relating the story of the " Dairyman's Daugh ter," whose remains layjbeneath their feet. As the lady proceeded with the narrative he observed the little girl lift up her eyes filled with tears, and heard her say that she would try and be as good as the dairyman's daughter. Af ter planting a beautiful lily on the grave they walked away. The gentle man, upon making inquiry, found that the lady was the Duchess of Kent and the little girl her daugntfer. The latte is now Queen of England. A Georgia olanter drained his rice swamp last year, and planted the ground with corn last spring. A hybrid crop is his reward, the stalk, blades and cob being that of corn, while the kernels on the cob are rice. TV1NO HER BOSMST UKUEft HER CHIN. BT NOHA PERRY. Tying her bonnet unler her chin. She tied her raven ringleti in ; But not alone in the silken snare Did she catch her lovely floating hair, I or, tying her bonnet under her chin, She tied a yonng man's heart within. They were strolling together up the hill, Where the wind comes blowing merry and chill And it blew the curls, a frolicsome race, All over the happy peach-aolored face, Till, scolding and laughing, she tied them in. Under her beautiful dimpled chin. Acid it blew a color, bright as the bloom Of the pinkest fuchsia's tossing plume. All over the cheeks of the prettiest girl That ever imprisoned a romping curl, Or, tying her bonnet under her chin, Tied a young man's heart within. Steeper and steeper grew the hill ; Madder, merrier, chillier still The western wind blew down, and played The wildest tricks with the little maid, As, tying her bonnet under her chin, She tied a young man's heart within. O western wind, do you think it was fair To play such tricks with her floating hair ? To gladly, gleefully do your best To blow her against the young man's breast. Where he as gladly folded her in. And kissed her mouth and her dimpled chin ? Ah ! Ellery Vane, yon little thought An hour ago, when you besought This country lass to walk with you, After the sun had dried the dew, What perilous danger you'd be in, As she tied her bounet under her chin. Humor. Canon law Touch and go. The mosquito's note is always pro tested. A business note ; Paper mills are running on reduced time and paper on extended time. A very fat English lady boasted that she had brought her husband 20,000. " Well, you look it !" replied her friend. Db. Aver, of Lowell, will leave his handsome daughter $2,000,000 in green backs, and there's a sugar-coated pill worth taking. An Eastern paper tells what " a brutal stepfather of Cincinnati " did. We have heard, ere yet, of city fathers, but never before knew of a city with a step-father. Detroit Tribune. One of the "Black Crook" ballet girls fell on the foot-lights at Sacra mento, a few evenings since, but es caped burning from the fact that she had nothing on which would take fire. " Biddy," said a lady, " step over and see how old Mrs. Jones is this morn ing.'" In a few minutes Biddy returned with the information that Mrs. Jones was seventy-two years, seven months, and two days old that morning. An ostentatious undertaker of Troy, having charge of an aristocratic fir neral lately, mounted the altar steps and de livered the following address : " La dies and gentlemen will please keep their seats till the corpse passes out." A Sabbath-school teacher in an ad joining town asked one of her scholars what animals Noah took into the ark, to which she received the very prompt reply : " The leopard, the shephefrd, the bob-tail monkey and the bear." Smart boy. A gentleman who had the curiosity to spend a dime in answering an adver tisement which promised valuable ad vice for that amount, received by mail the following answer : " Friend, for ten cents postage, please find inclosed advice which may be of great value to you : As many persons are injured for weeks, months and years by the care less use of a knife, therefore, my advice is, when you use a knife always whittle from you." PHILOSOPHY. Alas ! alack ! and welladay ! How short my cash is running ; I find I cannot make my way By poetry and punning. But poverty is not a crime, And I am young and clever ; This kind of thing will end in time It can't go on forever. My health is in a pretty state ! I'm something of a skeptic Regarding the decrees of fate (Which means that I'm dyspeptic). But this may alter by-and-by ; Shall I despair ? No, never. I must in time get well or die ; It can't go on forever. I love, and I must bear the woe To which my folly dooms me ; She knows, but will not seem to know The passion that consumes me. My heart is fettered in a chain Impossible to sever ; 'Twill break or struggle free again It can't go on forever. Billings! ana. Too grate a luv ov popularity makes a monkey ov a man. Tharo iz a grate deal ov moral dispep shy ; it iz cauzed bi neglekting the fish balls ov every day life, and trieing to liv on the whipt sillybub ov an etherial ezistenca. Tru luv makes mankind commit menny follys, but seldum, if ever, makes them commit crimes. Yn mite az well undertake to wear out a looking-glass bi gazing at it as to kleanze the human harte ov its var ity. The man who never takes enny chances makes az menny blunders az enny boddy. I notiss one thing, now that i am git ting old, when folks meet me they are dreadphull glad to see me, but they are in a grate hurry, and don't want to talk haff so long az i do i mistrust sum things. Thare is a grate deal ov charity in this world that sticks sotite to the fingers that it kant be got oph. Free luv iz the art, or science, ov luv ing someboddy else's wife more than yu do yure own, and trieing to preserve the average it kant be did. If a man knows himself thoroly, and hiz nabor sum, he iz just about az wize az he kan be. It aint safe to bet on ennything, not even on to-morrow. The man who haz been waiting for the last 15 years for snmthing to turn up, iz to work on. the same job yet. Mi opinyun iz, if Adam and Eve waz to try it over agin in the Garden of Eden, they wouldn't be happy nn till they had repeated their old blun der. He who repents ov a sin iz a stroner and a safer man than he who never committed one. Bio Hour-Stretch. " I conversed," says a writer, " with a racist to-day. He told me how ho won a race in New Haven. For four weeks he mixed soft rubber with the horse's oats, and every day he hitched that horse to a post and opened a blue-cotton umbrella in his face, making him pull pack, stretching his neck awfully. Then when he shut his umbrella the horse would stop pull ing, and his neck would resume its original length. He got the horse's neck very elastic, and on the day of the race, as his and other horses were on the home-stretch, side by side, just at the finish, the driver struck this man's horse a blow behind his ears, and his neck shot out almost a rod, winning the race by a neck. It is said to be the biggest home-stretch on record." BUSINESS CARDS. JOHN CONNER, Banking AND Exchange Office, ALBANY, OREGON. Deposits received subject to check at sight. Interest allowed on time deposits in coin. Exchange on Portland, San Francisco and New York for sale at lowest rates. Collections made and promptly remitted. Refers to II. W. Corbett, Henry Failing, W. S. Ladd. Banking hours from 8 a. m. to 4 p. m. Albany, Feb. 1, 187-i . . 22vC D. M. JONES. J. LINSEY HILL. JONES & HILL, PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS, Albany, Oregon. 37vB J. W. BALDWIN, Attorney and Counselor at Law, Will practice in all the Courts in the Second, Third and Fourth Judicial Districts, in the Supreme Court of Oregon, and in the U. 8. District and Circuit Courts. Office in Parrish brick (up-staire), in office occu pied by the late N. H. Cranor, First street, Albany, Oregon. tolSvR D. B. EICE, M. D., SURGEON AND PHYSICIAN. Office, First-st., Between Ferry and. Washington. Residence, Third street, two blocks below or cast of Methodist Church, Albany, Oregon. v5n40 J. C. POWELL. L. FLYNN. POWELL & FLYNN, Attorneys and Counselors at Law, AND SOLICITORS IN CHANCERY, L. Flinn, Notary Public), Albany, Oregon. Collec tions and conveyances promptly attended to. 1 Albany Book Store. JNO. FOSHAY, Dealer in Miscellaneous Books, School Books, Blank Books, Stationery, Fancy Articles, &c. Books imported to order at shortest possible no ice. vCn0 DR. GEO. WT. GRAY, D E TSJ" T I H T 9 AXBANY, OREGON. Office in Parrish Brick Block, corner First and Ferry streets. Residence, corner Fifth and Ferry streets. Office hoars from 8 to 12 o'clock a. m. and 1 to 5 o'clock p. m. IHvi Epizootics Distanced. THE BAY TEAM STILL. LIVES, And is flourishing like a green bay tree. Thankful for past favors, and wishing to merit ihe continu ance of the same, the BAY TEAM will always be ready, and easily found, to do any hauling within the city limits, for a reasonable compensation. Delivery of goods a specialty. 20v5 A. N. ARNOLD, Proprietor. W. C. TWEEDALE, Pealer in Groceries. Provisions, Tobacco, Cigars, Cutlery, Crockery, and Wood and Willow Ware. Albany, Oregon. S3S Call and see him. 24v5 The Metzler Chair! Can be had at the following places : Harrisburg Sam May Junction City Smith & Bras held Brownsville Kirk & Hume Halsey J. M. Morgan Scio J. J. Brown Albany Graf & Collar A full supply can also be obtained at my old shop on First street, Albany, Oregon. J. M. METZLER. Piles IPiles! Why say this damaging and troublesome com plaint cannot be cured, when so many evidences of snccess might be placed before you every day cures of supposed hopelesB cases ? Your physician informs you that the longer you allow the complaint to exist, you lessen your chances for relief. Kx- perience has taught this in all cases. A. Carotliers & Co.'s Pile Pills & Ointment Are all they are recommended to be. Will cure Chronic, Blind and Bleeding Piles in a very short time, and are convenient to -use. This preparation is sent by mail or express to any point within the United States at $1.50 per package. Address A. CARO FHERS & CO ( 27 v5 Box 33. Alabany, Oregon. JOHN SCHMEER, DEALER IN Groceries and Provisions, ALBANY, OREGON, Has just opened his new grocery establishment, on Corner of Ellsworth and First Streets, With a fresh stock of Groceries, Provisions, Candies, Cigars, Tobacco, &c, to which hu invites the atten tion of our citizens. In connection with the store he will keep a Bakery, and will always have on hand a full supply of fresh Bread, Crackers, &c. Call and see me. JOHN SCHMEER. February 16. 24v4 The Old Stove Depot John Briggs, Dealer in Cook, Parlor and Box Staves! OF THE BEST PATTERNS. ALSO, Tin, Sheet Iron and Copper Ware, And the usual assortment of Furnishing Goods to be obtained in a Tin Store. Repairs neatly and promptly executed on reason able terms. Short Reckonings Make Long: Friends. Front Street, Albany. Dec. 6, 1874. 1 FURNITURE. Everything Zsew. GRAF & COLLAR, Manufacturers and Dealers in FUENITURE OF ALL KINDS. Bureaus, Bedsteads, Tables, Lounges, Sofas, Spring Beds, Chairs, Etc., Always on hand or made to order on the shortest notice. Furniture repaired expeditiously and at fair rate. Salesroom and Factory on First Street. ineax senmtet'l Bakery. Albany, Feb. 28, 1874-26. GBAF fc COLLAR. Ranges A. W. GAMBLE, M. D., PHYSICIAN, SURGEON, Etc. Office on First St., over Weed's Grocery Store Residence opposite late residence of John C. Men denhall, near the Foundry, First street, Albany. October 22, 1873. We7bfoot Market! CHARLES WILSON Having leased the Webfoot Market, on First street, adjoining Gradwohl's, respectfully asks a share of the public patronage. The market will be kept con stantly supplied with all kinds of fresh meats. Call and nee. SW The highest cash price paid for Hides. CHARLES WILSON. Albany, August 14, 1874. W. H. McFarland, (Late M. M. Harvey & Co.,) Next Door to Conner's Bank, ALBANY, OREGON. STOVES, RANGES, Force and Lift Pumps, Lead and Iron Pipe, Hollow Ware, House Furnishing Hardware, Tin,Copper Sheet Iron Ware. LARGEST STOCK IN THE VALLEY. LOWEST PRICES EVERY TIME. REPAIRING PROMPTLY DONE. June 11, 1874. ALBANY Foundry and MacMne Slop, A. F. CHERRY, Proprietor, ALBANY, OREGON, Manufactures Steam Engines, Flour and Saw Mill Machinery, Wood-Working & Agricnltural Maciiiiiery . And all kinds of Iron and Brass Castings. Particular attention paid to repairing all kinds ol machinery. 41v3 A. CAROTHERS & COT. DEALERS IN Drugs, Chemicals, Oils, Paints, Dyes, Class, Lamps, Etc. All the popular PATENT MEDICINES, FINE CUTLERY, CIGARS, TOBACCO, NOTIONS, PERFUMERY, And TOILET GOODS. Particular care and promptness given ph y si clans prescriptions and family recipe. A. CAROTHERS & CO. Albany, Oregon. 4v5 GO TO THE BEE-HIVE STORE ! Groceries, Provisions, Notions, &c, &c, &c, Cheap for Cash ! Country Produce of All Kinds Bongnt For Merchandise or Cash. This is the p'ace to get the Best Bargains Ever Offered In Albany. Parties will always do well to call and see for them selves. II. WEED. First Street, Albany, Oregon. 32vC Ye OLD MEXICAN Mustang Liniment Was first known in America. Tts merits are now well known throughout the habitable world. It haa the oldest and best record vt any Liniment in the world. From the millions upon millions of bottles sold not a single complaint has aver reached us. As a Healing and Pain-Subduing Uniment it haa no equal. It is alike BENEFICIAL TO HAN AND BEAST. Sold by all Druggists. SJ.H860-X. Y' OLD Homestead Tonic Plantation Bitters Is a purely Vegetable Preparation, composed of CaUeaya Bark, Roots, Herbs and Fruits, among which will be found Saraaparillian, Dandelion, Wild ,UeII.y' "of""1. Tausy, Gentian, Bweet Flag, etc.; also Tamarinds, Dates, Prunes and Juniper Berries, prServed ,n m ""nicieut quantity (only) of the spirit of Hugar Cane to keep in any climate. They invari ably relieve and cure the following complaiuts : Dyspepsia, Jaundice, Liver Complaints, Loss of Appetite, Headache, Bilious Attacks, fWer and Ague, Hummer Complaints, 8our Stomach, Palpita tion of the Heart, General Debility, etc. They are especially adapted as a remedy lor the diseases to which WOMEN Are subjected ; and as a tonic for the Aged. Feeble and Debilitated, have no equal. They are strictly in tended as a Temperance Tonic or Bitters, to be used as a medicine only, and always according to directions. Sold by all Fib bt-Class Druggists.