The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, November 13, 1874, Image 5

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HOW THE mM WENT DOWK MAN
IIIATTAM lOWX.OCT. 4, lH74k.
BY JOHN VANCE CHENEY.
Tbs records of time are lull
Of the wondrous, tlninrtercms bull ;
A hero in haniepa, the boast of the ring,
lit - metiiuefl a pod, and often a king.
Othe bull,
The bellowine bull !
The Golden Bull, the bulls of Baflhan,
Bulls of the Pope and the Irish nation.
Hulls of sidereal calculation.
Bulls of every tall and station.
Bulls on Jewish altars slain.
Bulls of the mouuUiu and bulls of the plain.
Jtil iter's self turned bull again ;
Th- ruminant race since Adam" fail ;
The whole cud-kiud what arc they all
To the Texan horde -That
bellowed and bored
As they drove down
Manhattan town ?
How the frisky brutes made merry
i roju Central Bark to Hamilton Feny ;
Kvery alley and every street
Oared aud scoured by their cloven feet
SuortiuR and snoring, ranting and roaring,
ButtiM and horiutf. gashing and goring
O, the unkindly kine !
How they leaped from line to Hue !
I-oppiiiiT aud limbing, toeing and trimming
The lace and the Unn of men and women,
Over and under, and into the air,
11 re fcnd there and everywhere !
O. the bttlta,
The bellowing bulls !
The poller marched out, and the boys in bine,
lctorw of drugs and divinity, too ;
But what could their bludgeons and sabers do ;
The bullets and balls of the buttoned crew ?
They aimed at the bulls and maimed the men ;
They tired and loaded, and fired again.
But the shot rolled off like drops of rain
From the mailed boct of the Texiu plain.
The bull u was abroad,"
And life was a fraud.
And he drove like a demon down
Manhattan town !
Bos, bovis, bovi , bovem,
Gemini, Jerusalem !
How Taurus stamped in his shaggy glee
As the bovine swept to his bloody spree.
Hoofs and hide to bis revelry!
Not a second to breathe, for he shook his mane.
And oh : how the bulls buckled to it again !
Heap on heap, ten at a leap,
Wide and deep, ten at a sweep
Swell sport the powers ne'er before saw go
Since the heel of the heifer kicked over Chicago !
How many a man and many a maid
Brayed then that never before had prayed !
How many a man ana many a maiden
Caught their tirst glimpse of the distant Aiden !
If they'd fastened horns on the judgment day,
But antlers on Hades, and brought it to bay,
There couldn't have been a worse dismay
TLan followed the people all the way
tVhen the world was wild and the sky was
lowery.
And the Texan bulls went down the Bowery !
O, the bulls.
The terrible bulls :
The bison-bnll and the buffalo,
The bulls above and the bulls below
But the lords of the Texan plain,
When shall we see their like again?
Vroru 'Frisco round to the Bay of Fundy,
From sea to sea, from pole to pole.
As long as there's fear in the human sou,
It will be told how there came on a Sunday
Four-footed disaster.
Fiercer and fiercer, faster and faster,
Snorting and snoring, ranting and roaring.
Butting and boring, gashing and goring
How the bulls went down
Manhattan town I
Xew York Hveniiuj uk?.
SPANISH BULL FIGHTS
The civil war, the atrocities of the
Carlists, their amlacity, the inertness
. of Marshal Zabala, his resignation, his
probable successor, the ministerial
crisis from which we have just emerged,
and every other topic are entirely lost
sight of, and are as things of nanght
before the inauguration of the nation's
delight, the new " Plaza de Toros."
The new " Plaza "is of Moorish archi
tecture. The monotony of its indis
pensable circular shape is broken by
the polygonal form of its sixty sides,
and opportunity is given for relief in
the ornamentation of its numerous win
dows and doors. Upward of 12,000
people plainly see every act in its wide
area, the light iron pillars which sup
port its tiers of galleries not in the
least impeding the view. Eighty thou
sand pounds sterling han been expended
upon it, and the outbuildings for the
reception of the bulls connected with it.
JfThe exterior is built of brick, well
demented, thus giving good scope for
the rich- and elegant designs of the
Moorish style. The thousands of seats
in the vast amphitheatre are of granite,
and the facades of the boxes are formed
of the most delicate ironwork.
Immediately on my arrival I was hur
ried off by an obliging official to witness
a sight only next in interest to the
" corrida " itself namely, that of un
carting the bulls on being brought di
rect from their pastures fresh and wild
into the corral of the new Plaza. Two
of their constant companions (bullocks
who are trained to act as a species of
keepers of those untamed brute?, and
of whose sagacity marvelous stories are
told) had been placed there previously,
and their presence tranquilly feeding at
the well-filled stalls had a soothing in
fluence on the excited beasts being un
carted into the yard. Were it not for
the adoption of this plan, the bulls, in
their fury, would in all probability hurt
themselves and each other in their un
wonted confinement. As it was, the
greatest precautions were taken that
every one should ba kept out of sight
in order not to provoke them by the
mere presence of strangers. Two which
were brought in were magnificent ani
mals, and their appearance to the ini
tiated augured well for the day's
'sport." The highest ladies in the
land make it a matter of pride to pre
sent them to the people. On this oc
casion the Duehess of Fernan Nunez
heads the list, followed by the " Ladies
of Honor and Merit," a society whose
appearance on such an occasion set ms
somewhat incongruous. The descend
ant of Columbus also figures in the
list, his pastures of Yeragua being,
perhaps, the finest training ground in
Spain.
Thanks to the numerous entrances,
no difficulty was experienced in taking
seats. When once within the vast
space, filled with human beings, one's
first feelings were much the same as the
bulls upon their being suddenly thrust
into an arena. The sight of such a
multitude, every one ereatlv excited, is
so different from what is to be met with
under any other circumstances as to
be positively bewildering, and it takes
several minutes before the scene can be
realized to its full extent. In the pro
iecting central and royal box is the
Duke de la Torre, surrounded by the
newlv reconstructed homogeneous Min
istry, all of whom are to-day (whatever
thev may be to-morrow) of one opinion,
namely, that the state may take care of
itself for the time being, and they mean
to nirr the bull-light. The whole As
wmhlv thoroughly agrees with them
for once, and the ceremony begins,
Unlike any other Spanish institution,
rmnnt.nn.Htv is observed to the letter,
In this case delay would be doubly
for it so happens that no
less than ten bulls are to be sacrificed.
if time permits, but only eight, if it
does aot. Consequently not a moment
is lost- indeed, the usual slate pro
cession of the entire company of actors
( bull excepted) is hurried over, and the
Alcade of Madrid, the Marquis of Sar
doai, wastes no time in flinging into the
hat of the mounted alguazil beneath
him the key of the portal from which
the hn 1 ! emerge. The ' ' toreros " hav
inc tnkfln no their accustomed posi
tiocH th door opens without delay,
and an enraged beast plunges out and
pauses thunderstruck, as it were, by
such a strange scene. He is a magni
ficent animal, black and white in color.
the cif t of the Duchess of Fernan
Nunez Rarridly recovering himself.
he mshea at the first object which
catches his eye, and an unfortunate
horse is instantly lifted np with its
rider clean into the air, horribly gored
by the animal's sharp horns. The
''picador" falls off, the bull's atten
tion is adroitly diverted by the vigilant
" chulos," while the man, incumbered
with his species of armor as he is, is
picked up. He has sustained so little
injury that he immediately remounts
his wretched and half-dead s'teed, which
is trembling from the shock, and the
blood of which is oozing from its fright
ful wound. Meanwhile the bull con
tinues its mad career, and scatters its
tormentors in all directions with mar
velous rapidity. Another picador en
gages his attention, but only for a mo
ment, and the animal, even when
pricked by the lance, declines the at
tack. A third horse is next encoun
tered, and at one rush the bull's horn
reached the heart, instant death kindly
relieving the animal from further mis
ery. A turn of the " banderilleros" now
comes. Theirs is the dangerous duty
of transfixing pairs of barbed arrows
into the hide of the already infuriated
animal, but too well do they succeed,
as the roars of the brute testify. After
this treatment has lasted sufficiently
long, a signal is given, and forward ad
vances the celebrated "Espada," " Bo
cauegra," (appropriately nicknamed
from his swarthy bull-dog mouth), and
craves permission to give the death
stroke to the bull. This is readily
granted, and with the accustomed cere
mony the man begins to give proof of
his skill. The art is to seize the proper
moment when the animal is face
to face with his persecutor, one
false step of whom is almost
certain death. After several passes and
nimble leaps aside, the sword is thrust
into the animal's shoulders half-way to
the hilt. The brute thus rendered ter
ribly furious, rushes wildly about, evi
dently suffering torment at every in
stant by each fresh movement of the
sword in its body. Suddenly enraged
to madness, it tears wildly to the wood
en barrier, inside which several of its
active adversaries have leaped, and are
quietly looking on. To their intense
surprise and the fright of the spectators,
whose excitement is at its highest pitch,
he clears the barrier, the sword still
in his carcass, and over it he is. A
clear course is left for him, but, quick
as lightning, a door, hanging flat back
against the sides of the narrow passage
along which he is running, is flung
across his path and bars his way, while
at the same moment another door ad
joining opens directly into the ring, and
through it he turns. He is in his prop
er place again, and all danger is over.
Another sword is handed to the
"matador," and, the bull being after
his adventure somewhat exhausted, as
well he may be, a better opportunity is
afforded. The thrust this time goes to
vital part ; the blood pours out from
his mouth, and he drops dead. The
mob is not altogether satisfied with ' ' Bo
canegra's " skill. He is not a native of
Madrid. The favorite "rrascuelo is,
and the applause of his fellow-citizens
was withheld for him. This he subse
quently received, amid torrents or ci
gars and numberless hats, which latter,
happily for the owners, are promptly
returned. The next bull was not dis
posed of so well as the last ; but one in
cident relating to it I must recount,
though I only do so with extreme dis
gust. My object is to present a truth
ful picture of what really occurs at these
spectacles, leaving it to your readers to
pass over the subject if they prefer not
to become acquainted with it. That to
which I allude was the case of a poor
horse. After being ripped open, a
large portion of its entrails protruded,
and the animal, in its agony, galloped
wildly about, treading upon them, and
at each step drawing out still more. At
length it madly dashed itself against
the barrier and dropped dead. This is
too common an occurrence to give con
cern to any one. Even the ladies who
crowd the boxes do not turn aside their
fans. One scene reflected credit upon
some Englishmen who were witnesses of
it. A wretched horse had been badly
gored in the fore leg at o previous en
counter so lame was it that it could
scarcely reach the gate, and go out to
be killed as was naturally expected.
Not so, however, for, to the astonish
ment of all, the animal reappeared in
the following corrida, holding up its
leg as would a wounded dog, and yet a
monster in the shape of a picador was
mounted upon the miserable creature,
and spurring it forward. This was too
much for Ecglishmen to endure. A
shout arose of "Fuera," "Out with
it." Even the Spaniards joined, and
the ruffian dismounted, and the poor
animal was sent to the stable to die in
peace. But enough of such horses.
Worse, far worse, than I have attempt
ed to relate occurred on this day, and
yet nothing to what is too frequently
the case. X wo of the bulls were evi
dently more fit for the pasture than the
ring, and terribly they had to pay lor
it. The cry of " Fuego " for the fiery
banderilleros was twice raised, and was
readily complied with, to the delight of
the mob, who enjoyed to the full the in
tensified agony of the bull upon whose
hide exploded the detonating balls.
Four of these fearful fire-works were at
the same moment going off with reports
which louldly echoed in the vast arena
against one of the unfortunate animals,
and yet after they had ceased he would
not face his tormentors. He fell an
easy sacrifice to the matador's sword.
One redeeming feature was, however,
presented. The custom is for the
streaming colors of the ladies by whom
the bulla are presented to be affixed to
the animals shoulders. On one occa
sion a horse was attacked, and the bull
got entangled in the reins ; the horse
was unhurt, the picador bravely kept
his seat, and during the struggle liter
ally " grasped the nettle danger," drew
out his guerdon off the bull's back, ex
tricated his horse, and galloped off with
the well won prize to opposite the
Duchess de la Torre's box, presented
the ribbons to her, and received a
complimentary acknowledgment. In
the days of royalty a purse of gold was
thrown down to the fortunate individu
al, but those days, alas ! for him, are
passed, at all events for the present.
The only palliation for these exhibi
tions is that the proceeds, which are de
voted to charitable purposes, are a
modicum of good to a power of evil.
On the present- occasion, the Hospital
of Madrid derives the benefit. The
genera opinion prevails that the bulls.
the full number ten of whom were
killed were not sufficiently savage to
suit the popular taste. Madrid reverses
the proverb, and does look a gift (bull)
in tiie mouth. On Sunday the bulls are
to be paid for, and thus everybody
ought to be satisfied. Madrid Letter
Sharp-Edged. A good story is told
of Fenimore Cooper, who rather prided
himself on a certain native wine manu
factored from his own grapes. One day,
when he was dining with a witty guest,
Cooper poured out a glass of wine, and
looking at it with pnue, remarked,
" Now, I call this good, honest wine.
" Yes, Mr. Cooper, I agree with you
It is honest wine poor, but honest.'
Ne response from Mr. Cooper.
A TEXAS VESDETTA.
During the past ten years Northern
journals have at intervals published ac
counts of the Taylor-Sutton imbroglio,
but so meager have been the reports
that the public have invariably lost
track of the affair altogether until some
new horror connected with it refreshed
their memories. At no time have the
full facts been published, and the pub
lic can have no idea of the magnitude it
has assumed or of the number of lives
lost.
It is understood that the trouble
originated in Alabama, near twenty
years ago, when one of the Taylors
killed a Sutton in a drunken affray,
the particulars of which I have been
unable to learn. Two years later the
Taylors moved to Texas and settled in
DeWitt or Goliad county. The But
tons followed soon after, and settled in
the same neighborhood, where they
lived in peace until the close of the late
war, each party being in ignorance of
the proximity of the other.
The stealing of a horse by young
William Taylor and a companion named
Jim Sharp, from a neighbor of Sutton's,
was the immediate cause of the resump
tion, of hostilities. The stealing took
placein the fall of '65, and a number of
citizens, inoluding old William Sutton,
pursued the thieves into Bastrop
county, where they were overtaken and
killed. From that time until the pres
ent there has been open warfare be
tween the two families, and gradually
the neighbors for miles around, have
been drawn into the quarrel, until the
principals and their adherents number
some twelve or fifteen hundred persons.
It is said that near fifty men have been
killed since the war in the frequent col
lisions which have taken place, but the
following is a list of all the deaths of
which I could get any reliable informa
tion :
In November, 1865, Buck Taylor,
uncle of William Taylor, and John
Chisholm were killed by the Suttons in
Wilson county for strongly denouncing
the killing of Taylor and Sharp. (I
have no record of those killed during
succeeding five years. )
In 1871, C. S. Bell, a State police
man and a Sutton man, killed Hays
Taylor in Goliad county.
In 1872 Dobey Taylor was killed in
Kerr county bv a Sutton man whose
name I have been unable to learn.
In the same year Messrs. Cox and
Dayton, both Sutton men, were am
bushed and killed by a gang of Taylor
men near Helena, Jvarnes county.
Shortly afterwards, Jack Helm, a no
torious desperado, a Sutton man, of
State police notoriety, killed Mark
Taylor near Yorktown, DeWitt county,
and was himself killed two weeks after
by the Taylors in Atascosa county. It
is safe to say that Helm killed ten or
fifteen ni n in 1871-72 under the pro
tection of his position as Lieutenant of
State police.
In the spring of this year both parties
collected their adherents and took the
field with the intention of settling the
matter by exterminating each other. It
very soon became apparent that the
Suttons were largely in the majority,
and the Taylors being unable to openly
cope with them, resorted to a guerrilla
mode of warfare. After much maneuv
ering and little fighting, the Suttons
succeeded in completely surrounding
the Taylors, and but for the interfer
ence of friends of both parties, there
would not have been a Taylor left to
tell the story. After some parley, old
William Sutton was induced to agree to
a conference in which it was decided
that they should go to the county seat
(court being in session) and get the
District Judge to draw up articles of
agreement, which were to be signed
and sworn to by all concerned. With
out delay they rode in a body to the
county town (to the terror of the citi
zens thereof and the Judge and officers
of the court, who thought that the
demonstration was being made against
them), entered the Court-House, and
called on the Judge to suspend the bus
iness of the court and draw up the nec
essary agreement. The Judge was de
lighted to oblige the gentlemen, and at
tended to the matter at once ; names
were signed, oaths taken, and the best
of feeling seemed to prevail. The citi
zens of Goliad and DeWitt counties
were wild with joy ; great was the
handshaking, and numerous were the
toasts drank to the permanency of the
compact. For a time all went well ;
both parties seemed in earnest and
moved about freely, without feir of
being waylaid and murdered, a blessing
they had not enjoyed for nearly ten
years. In the following month (March)
old William Sutton, the veteran actor
in this great tragedy, accompanied by a
friend named Slaughter, went to In
dianola and took passage on the steam
ship Clinton for Galveston. While sit
ting in conversation on tha deck of the
steamer, young William Taylor, aged
20 years, stepped up and shot them
both dead. Taylor escaped to the
wharf, mounted his horse, and rode
through the town whooping and yelling
like a madman. He was afterward ar
rested in Northwestern Texas, taken to
Indianola, and afterwavd sent to Gal
veston for safe keeping, as the authori
ties feared that he would be either re
leased or lynched if kept there. On the
25th of last month (September) he was
sent to Indianala for trial, under guard
of the Iione Star Rifles and Washing
ton Guards, of Galveston, but got a
continuance until next term of court.
He was remanded to Galveston jail,
where he now lies. About a month
after the killing of Sutton young
Scrap Taylor, the only brother of Will
iam, was arrested and put in jail m Oe
Witt county on a charge of cattle-stealing,
and was taken out in the night by
a mob and shot. William Taylor would
certainly have shared the same fate but
for the action of the authorities in send
ing him to Galveston. Capt. McNally, of
State police fame, has been at the scene
of action with a body of militia, assist
ing the impotent Sheriffs of the several
counties to execute the laws, it is
probable that this tei rible vendetta is
at an ena. xne rayiors (what few are
left) are scattered over the frontiers of
this State and Kansas, and it is not
likely that they will ever get together
again in sufficient numbers to dare to
return to their old haunts ; and the de
cisive, though tardy, action of the State
authorities in sending a body of armed
men to aid the county officers has ef
fectually put an end to present difficul
ties.
Mr. Charles O 'Conor and Mr. Rev
erdy Johnson have published letters in
which opposing views are taken as to
the President's powers in the matter of
the recognition of State governments
Mr. Johnson took the ground that the
President's judgment in such a case is
final ; that though the President made
a sad mistake in his first recognition of
Kellogg, haying done so, the act was
irrevocable. Mr. O' Conor claims that
when the President had discovered his
mistake he had the power, and it was
his duty, to recall the first action and
make such new decision as full informa
tion of all the facts warranted.
A Relic of Daniel Boone.
A correspondent of the Nashville
Union and American writes from
Washington county, Tenn. : Near Mr.
Faw's farm, on the lands of S. E. Ed
wards, is the famous Boone tree which
contains the earliest record of civiliza
tion in Tennessee. It stands on the
northwestern slope of a hill which rises
up from Sinking creek, near the
Blountsville and Jonesboro stage road.
The hill is thickly set with beech, ma
ple and oak, and the whole earth is
ramified with gnarled roots, which
cover the surface like an inextricable
mat. The dense woods, the roar of the
littie creek as it leaps in cascades over
the tinted limestone, and the deep
gloom of the forest gave a wildness to
the surrounding not unlike what one
may imagine it was 114 years ago,
when Daniel Boone, the bold pioneer,
resting his rifle against the tree, carved
in indelible characters the result of
the day's work in this way :
D. Boon
A BAH
Cilled
in THE
YEAH
On
Tree
17C0.
At that time he was 26 years of age,
and doubtless was more than 100 miles
from any human habitation, relying
alone upon his own brave heart, strong
arm and trusty rifle. The tree is just
two feet in diameter and leans about
three degrees from perpendicularity.
It has been greatly defaced by seekers
after immortality, who have inscribed
heir names, otherwise unknown, all
over it, for ten feet, or nearly so, above
the surface of the ground. For several
hundred yards southwest, and imme
diately around the tree, is a large num
ber of mounds, with corresponding de
pressions, which have led many to be
lieve that it was originally a mining
region of the Indians, and some have
been led to think that beds of pure sil
ver, as rich as those of Potosi, might
be found by digging. But I am satisfied j
that the mounds have been produced ',
bv uprooted trees, whose roots decaying i
have left the cherty beds high above the i
general surface.
Supposed Suicide.
The other day a compositor in this
office got hold of a part of a page of the j
chirography bf M. D. Bloss, editor of
the Cincinnati Enquirer. It isn't writ- i
ing at all, but Bloss seems to kick the
ink bottle at a sheet of paper and then
sends the paper down to the compositors
as editorial. This part of a page was
used as the foundation of a plot to delib
erately destroy a human life. A line or i
two was written above it, Bloss' page
marked " solid," and it was handed out
to a "jour," who had just struck the;
office. He claimed to be "lightning" on
the " set " and on reading manuscript, i
and he set up the introductory line like !
a whirlwind. When he came down to
Bloss he grabbed for a cap "A," held ;
it a second and then dove into the " Y " ,
box. He then threw that back and
picked out a dollar mark. No sentence
can commence with a dollar mark, and
the typo paused, spit on his hands and j
rested one foot on the cross-bar of his
rack. After a moment he grabbed a j
" ffi," but slowly replaced it and toyed ;
with an italic "Z." Then he spit on j
his hands some more, corrugated his
brow, and hauled the manuscript under
his eyes. It was no go. He held the
page further off, close to his nose.
slanting to the right and square before
the window, but ne cotuan t
start it, i
and he knew in his soul that no other
human compositor outside of the En
quirer could Ao it. As afternoon faded
into twilight he laid the page aside, set
up two or three lines out of his head,
and then slipped into his coat, said he'd
got to go to the depot to see a friend,
and he was gone. In the stick he had
set up the words : " Tell my mother
that I will meet her on the other shore."
He probably will. He was seen at the
foot of Grisword street, heard to ask if
death by drowning wasn't easier than
hanging, and it is probable that his
marble form now lies at the bottom of
the cold, green river, while Bloss is a
murderer. Detroit Free Press.
A Heroine of the Commune.
The following was related to me yes
terday of a noble woman whose name
should live in history. She, together
with her lover, a young surgeon, had
taken care of the wounded Communists
during the days and nights of their
fierce lighting with the Versailles troops.
L pon the entry of the latter into the
city, when excitement was at its height,
and when every one suspected of com
plicity with the Commune was shot al
most without a question being asked,
the surgeon was arrested and brought
before the drum-head tribunal, in the
Place du Chatelet. His life trembled
for the moment in the balance, but was
finally saved by the intercession of one
of the Judges present, who was an in
timate mind of the accused, as the
latter was being led from the room, he
met the woman whom he loved, who
had helped him in his care of the
wounded, and who was now accused of
the same crime as he himself had been.
Good God, Marie !" he exclaimed,
" are you here too ?" The woman took
the whole scene in at a glance, saw the
danger into which she would plunge her
lover should she recognize him, ana
drew herself up coldly, saying : "You
are mistaken, sir ; je ne vous connais
pas!" A few moments afterward sb
was taken out and shot I is not tnac a
story worthy of the old guillotine days ?
Paris letter.
Life Under Glass.
The author of "Life Under Glass"
sends to the Boston Transcript a letter,
giving some curious results of his ex
perience in the use of colored glass as a
medium for the transmission oi tne
sun's rays in the treatment of lung dis
ease. The writer of the communication
being himself a victim to weak lungs,
gave special attention to the subject
from personal as well as proiessionai
interest. His attention was directed to
the matter by an incident in his own
experience. During the autumn of 1863
he was at home in Boston on " sick
leave" from the army, and was in the
habit of frequenting the photograph
gallery of a friend. The operating room
of the gallery was lighted by a large
skylight of light blue glass, and the
walls were tinted of the same color. He
soon noticed that he invariably felt bet
ter after an hour or two passed in this
gallery, and was finally convinced that
the beneficial effect was largely due to
the blue light. After the war he began
a series of experiments among his pa
tients by using blue glass. As the light
from purely blue glass is not entirely
agreeable to tha eye, he alternated the
panes with clear glass. This was an
improvement, and he went on with his
experiment until he attained the highest
sanitary power in a purple or light vio
let color, the red in the staining making
the light pleasant to bear.
The best way for a man to acquire a
fine flow of language is to stub his toe
against a raised brick.
A New Way to Die.
Human ingenuity has been much ex
ercised in devising new ways to live,
but scant attention has been paid to
the discovery of original methods of
death. People have shuffled off this
mortal coil in distressingly similar
ways. It has been reserved for Miss
Boomershine, of Phillips county, Kan
sas, to crown her sex with fresh glory
by inventing a brand-new, first-class way
of traveling to that bourne, etc. Miss
B. had acquired, in her native village in
Georgia, the usual accomplishments of
the belles of that neighborhood. She
dipped snuff with the utmost dexterity,
and she saved her parents much need
less expense by cultivating a keen ap
petite for clay. It is said that in three
weeks she ate up a small hill which was
in the way of a projected railway, and
thus saved the company the cost of ex
cavation. Her rivals affirm, however,
that the time spent was four weeks, in
stead of three. However this may be,
there can be no doubt that the busy
Miss B. was emphatically made of clay.
Eve could not have surpassed her in
tliat respect. In an unlucky hour the
Boomershines moved into the grasshop
per lands of Kansas. A distressing
phenomenon followed. The daughter
began to dislike her staple diet before
half of the clay-bank opposite the house
was consumed. This would not have
been half so bad in itself, had she not
developed at the same time an alarm
ing fondness for all green things.
What the grasshoppers had left she de
voured. One night she swept the corn
field bare. Her angry father sought
her in vain the next morning. She
came home in the evening, after an all
day lunch on two acres of potato-vines.
When other resources failed, she joined
the family cow in the pasture-lot and
played Nebuchadnezzar with such dex
terity that the poor thing died three
days thereafter from lack of food.
From time to time she said she felt as
if she could "take wings and flyaway."
! A doctor dosed her in vain. She grew
worse
sions
rapidly. Her predatory excur
into the neighbors' fields em-
broiled the whole vicinity.
When the
away, the
grasshoppers began to fly
end came. Miss B. watched them from
the window. Suddenly she rushed
from the house. Her anxious friends
followed just in time to see the hope of
Boomershines play boomerang by flap
ping her arms as if they were wings,
- . -t - . , - -
rising ten ieet in me air, ana iainng
back into her tracks dead. A post
mortem examination revealed the mys
tery. The clay the girl had consumed
in Kansas was covered with grasshop
per eggs. These had hatched out in
side. She "was literally swarming
with grasshoppers." Their influence
had led to her vegetable-eating, and
their desire to go with their comrades
had finally caused her death. The dis
covery of this new way to die belongs
to Kansas ; we are but the humble
agency to give it a wider notoriety.
Chicago Tribune.
The Xew Bessemer Steamship.
The successful launch of the steamer
Bessemer, constructed for passenger
transportation across the British Chan
nel, is an event in naval architecture of
no little interest. The construction of
the vessel is upon entirely new princi
ples, and its success may at no distant
date revolutionize the present system of
building passenger vessels. The most
important feature of this vessel, and
that which will interest the general
public, is the mechanical arrangement
to prevent sea-sickness. This is to be
reached in two ways. First, by reduc
ing the motion of the vessel to a mini
mum, and by reducing what remains by
mechanical means. The former is ef
fected by the peculiar build of the ves
sel, the latter by the swinging-saloon
on the Bessemer pivotal system. This
saloon is 70 feet long, 35 feet wide, and
25 feet high, with a deck above it. To
prevent seasickness, it is necessary to
keep the floor of the saloon horizontal
the whole time, as is done with the
compass and binnacle lights of all ves
sels. The swing of the saloon itself
would be inadequate to this end, and
hydraulic power is introduced to cor
rect the motion of the vessel by swing
ing the saloon in the opposite direc
tion. This force is not altogether auto
matically applied. It is reduced to the
j control of
a man who, with a spirit-
level before him and a lever in hand,
directs the machinery. This is but one
feature of this remarkable vessel. Its
J engines are of enormous power ; it has
a double set of side-wheels ; is built of
two vessels held together by massive
girders ; its draught of water is very
light and both ends are built alike, to
avoid the necessity of attempting to
turn in French harbors. It is hoped
that the Bessemer with all its weight
and breadth of beam will be able to
make the enormous speed of twenty
miles an hour. The trial trip will not
be made for two months yet, for there
is much to be done. The Bessemer
will by that time have to steam from
the North of England to the Thames in
about the roughest time of the year.
which will test Mr. Bessemer's patent
and Mr. Keed s construction very se
verely
Chinese Mandarins.
A correspondent of the Philadelphia
Press, writing from up the xang-tse-Kiang,
says : "The mandarin in charge
at Tankan was a first-rate fellow. He
came on board to visit the ship, and as
everything was veiy strange to him he
evinced great interest in all that he saw
I gave him a cigar, und after showing
him how to light it he commenced pull
ing at it. After he had taken five or
six whiffs he handed it to one of his ser
vants, who passed it to the rest of his
fellows, each in his turn taking five or
six whiffs. They all seemed to enjoy it
exceedingl v. When they smoke they
have pipes that hold a very small quan
tity of tobacco ; after taking a couple
of whiffs the tobacco is exhausted ; they
then knock out the ashes and fill up
again. Their tobacco is very mild, and
one could smoke it ail day without feel
ing any bad effects. Before he left, the
mandarin very kindly asked us to come
and see him aboard of one or nis gun
hoats. so one evening some of us went.
He was waiting for us, and had the tea
all reuov Whenever vou go to see
Chinaman, whether on business or not,
he always insists on your taking a cup
to Tfc, oIro treated us to some
distilled from rice,
rather pleasant to tne taste reu-""u
sherry bui one has to take great care
will find - himself under the
t0w i hA oltl fellow had not much to
show' us, but he did all in his power to
w.i, riit a oleasant one. His
men-of-war (?) consisted of two junks
a .moll trail about two or three-
nnnnrW on the bow and stern of each.
Vhooa onns are used when boats pass
ing down the river will not stop and pay
the 'squeeze,' or show their passes.
The way the mandarins get their money
iu Yvc establishing in their several dis
tricts stations where everything passing
has to pay a small toll. Some of the
hunts coming down the river have to
stop fifty or sixty times."
The Great Salt Lake.
A Salt Lake City correspondent of the
Chicago Inter -Ocean says: "There
seems to be a general impression among
strangers that the city of Salt Lake is
located on the margin of the great Salt
I-iake, and the tourist on his arrival here
is surprised and disappointed to find
that it is not. The popular visiting
place on the lake is what is called Black
Bock, lying directly west, twenty miles
distant from this city, on the old over
land mail road going toward California.
It is a most interesting spot to visit, and
it is very strange that out of the many
who travel across the continent, desirous
of seeing everything of interest, there
are so few who will take thA .im o,i
trouble to see this most wonderful and 1
ueaumui sneet of water. The size of
the lake is about eighty miles from east
to west, and about one hundred miles
from north to south. It is the great
reservoir for all the waters that empty
into the surrounding valleys, without
any known outlet except what the gentle
rays of the summer sun draws up to the
cloudy strata of the heavens. The water
is exceedingly salty, more so than any
body of water in the world, and its
buoyancy is fully 100 per cent, more
than that of the ocean. In the crudest
manner the Mormons make a pail of
salt from three pails of water, and the
buoyancy is very perceptible in bath
ing, when the ordinary swimmer finds
he can float as easily and securely as
walking on the ' sure and firm-set
earth.' Sinking is impossible. The
water in the lake is gradually rising,
and some estimates have put it at ten
inches each year ; but no means have
been taken to measure it until about
two months since, when a granite mon
ument was erected at Black Rock, a
short distance from the shore. The
lake as a thing of beauty is almost un
surpassed. The water at times is of
the deepest green ; at others, of the
purest blue ; and, varying from the
shallow to the deep water, from the
lightest to the darkest shades, and at
all times like the grand old ocean. The
seagull and the pelican scale just over
head, riding gracefully the waves upon
its smooth or rolling surface."
Steam on Canals.
The premium of $100,000 offered by
the State of New York for the inventi
of some method by which canals may be
successfully and economically navigated
by strain power, was a good invest
ment. What is known as the Baxter
boat has now complied with all the
conditions required for securing the
award, and it is evident that steam is to
take the place of horse-power on all
important canals. A steamer recently
reached Buffalo from New York in six
days and seventeen hours. Thirteen of
these steamers are now launched, and
ten others will be constructed at once,
making twenty-three to ply on the Erie
canal. With their towing capacity this
will equal a great many horse boats,
and must speedily result in the growth
of grass upon the tow-path. The time
is near when not a horse boat will be
used on the Erie canal. This is not
only an important result in consequence
of the time saved, but its greatest ben
efit arises from the fact that it will ma
terially reduce freight rates. With the
tolls on the Erie canal placed at reason
able and just figures, every farmer in
the West would derive some perceptible
benefit from this new method of canal
transportation. With the encouraging
results attending the use of steam on
the Erie canal, there is little reason to
doubt the enlargement of the Wabash
and Erie canal, and its extension to St.
Louis. It is not possible to conceive
the vast importance of such a line of
transportation to the people of the West,
insuring, as it would, the rapid and
cheap transportation of their surplus
products to the seaboard.
A Widow's Witness.
It was told of old that the cackle of
a goose once saved Kome. It is now
related that a swallow won a suit in
court away down in Texas. A poor
widow and her daughter had a suit for
damages before a court in Houston.
The counsel for the plamtifl introduced
into his pleading the fable of the swal
low that built her nest and reared her
young under the eaves of the temple of
justice. xne lawyer eniargeu upon tne
swallow's trust in the protection of her
home the place afforded, and very aptly
made the application to the ease before
the court. When the counsel was about
finishing his illustration a swallow actu
ally flew into the room and alighted
upon the J ndge's desk. It then hopped
away and found rest for the sole of its
foot on the railing of the jury-box. In
its circuit cf the court-room it halted
for awhile on a pile of law books, then
hovered a moment over the heads of the
plaintiffs, and flew out of the window
and away. The counsel concluded by
saying: "Behold the witness," and as
the witness could not be called back by
the opposing counsel, the case was
given to the jury pretty much as the
Bwallow left it. The jury could not ig
nore the bird's evidence, and gave a
verdict for the widow. The story is a
little birdy, but not in the least fishy.
If it was a preconcerted plan of the law
yer it was very happily arranged and
nicely carried c.it, iud deserves a place
among court reports and curious
pleadings.
Fashion Notes.
Jet is still used everywhere.
The Josephine
waist is to be worn
again.
Double prices are charged
all
fashionable goods.
Silk is rarely worn on the street in
Paris this fall.
Immense long black chains are worn
around the neck.
The polonaise will be worn with many
winter costumes.
To dress warmly and cheaply one
must keep behind the fashion.
Buy thick woolen goods, and cut as
little as possible in making up.
Dead white board is generally pre
ferred for cards, though delicate tinting
is allowable. .
In New York, for the street, the skirt
is of silk, rich and heavy, with rough
r-ampl's hair fabric, pardessus.
For ladies and gentlemen dressing in
mourning, the card is edged with a
band of black, broader or narrower in
proportion to the depth of owner's
weeds.
For ladies the fashionable card is of
the finest unglazed Bristol board, rath
er louder than formerly, and tending
to the oblong rather than the square in
shape.
Invitations to weddings are now
usually issued upon a sheet of the
finest, thickest, most highly finished
note-paper about four inches wide and
eight deep, so that when folded exactly
across the middle it fits into a square
envelope to correspond.
Not long since, at Sunday school, the
teacher, after trying hard to impress
on the minds of a class of small boys
the sin of Sabbath-breaking, asked, " Is
Sunday better than any other day?"
when the smallest boy in the class an
swered : " You bet your boots it is V
The Donkey.
I hav watched the donkey with a grate
deal ov pashunt anxiety.
They are about three foot high, and.
sumthing like three foot six inches
lengthways. They hay a normal appetight, and
will eat all the time, and more too.
They aint partiklar about their vittles, .
and will try hard to swallo a horse sha.
but seldum suckoeed in doing it.
They are mostly v a grizzly gray
culler, and eat too mutch to ever git
phatt.
The donkey iz one oy natur's jokes, a
sort ov pun, which I never could Bee--the
point to.
They are az sett in their ways az a
post, and are the only live th ing that is
too mutch for a klub.
They will stand more pounding thar.:
a sheaf ov wet oats without shelling out.
I hav seen them hitched up to a go
kart, right away after brekfast, andi
stay thare poshuntly untdll sunsett.
They aie not hansum to behold, but,,
az a cluss study, are az lull ov interest
az a mile stone with the letterings alE
worn off.
The donkey haz two ears and only
one tale, and their ears stand in the
same relashun to tho rest ov their bod
dys that a steeple duz to a church.
Their tales don't seem tu be enny use
only to frisk, and the whole kritter,
from beginning to end, iz about az un
called for in this climate az a pair ov
twin mud-tui ties or a dozen ov snaiks
eggs.
1 kant say that I hate the- ,1onlrA-p hnf
if
thare want but one in America, ami;
tliat one waz stuffed nnn holono.,!
Barnum, I should be the last man tc
shed tears over the result.
The donkey iz a sober and misteriouF i
cuss.
I luv all the dnm kritters. I luv to -ponder
over them. I hav watched for
hours the vagrant pissmire, the spotted
tud and the vivacious hornet, and kar i
see in them what I never could see in
man, their needle allwuss points to the
north pole.
Farewell, yu sad and thinking kritteT ;
I may never again wwte ynre memoirs,
but whether I do or dont. I shall ali
wuss respeckt yu az a donkey, anslX
that's all.
I forgot to state, in the hurry ov the
moment, that a donkey will iiv forever,
or thereabouts, and have the same in
delible kast ov kountenanoe to the last
Adiew, yu graven imnge ; yu solk I
one, adiew ! Josh Hilting.
Height of the Human Species.
M. -Silberman shows the average
height of the male and female popula
tion of France, taken in a certain po
sition which he names the "geometric"
is 1.600040 meters, or two meters if in
the same position the hands are com
fortably extended over the head. Two
individuals laid lengthwise with fingers
touching would thus measure four
meters, and this he terms the base of
the harmonic proportions of the human
race. Thus this harmonic base is four
times one meter, just as the meridian is
four times ten millions, and the rela
tion of the two integers is as one to
10,000,000. From these considerations
he draws proof of the equality of the
sexes, as they exhibit woman not as a
complement to the male portion of the
race, but as constituting normally and I
by right half of the human family. M.
Silberman arrives at the conclusion, as
the result of his various investigations
and studies, that the average height of
the human race has remained unchanged
since the Chaldean epoch 4, 000 years ago.
Among the recent physical problems
is that suggested by the fact th at a ball
or bar of solid iron will float upon a
molten mass of the sasje metal. To
account for this it has been argued that
iron,- like water, expands on solidifying. .
and hence that solid iron is specificallj
lighter than when in a molten state, ".
and that, this being the case, the iror
floats just as ice does in water. Unfor- -tunately
for the acceptance of thiE
theory, it is stated by its opponents,
and with good reason, that iron doe?
not expand as described, and hence is -not
subject to the law that governs ice.
The second and apparently just theory
to account for the phenomenon is that,
when a ball of solid iron is brought ir.
contact with the moiton metal, it does
not sink, owing to a film of air adher
ing to it, which repels the molten iron
and prevents contact. This phenome
non will be at ence recognized as
kindred to that known ns the spheroidal
state of liquids.
Absurd Misuse of Exoush. A
writer to the New York Evening Pott
puts the following linguistic query : I
should like to ask some one who xeowh
why the party of IriBh gentlemen whrs
were engaged in shooting a rifle match
at Creedmoor, L. I., last week, are
called the "Irish team." Webster
says : " Team offspring, progeay,
race of descendants, anytning following
in a row, order or team " derived from
certain words meaning " to bear, tc
team." I suppose these gentlemen may
possibly stand in " a row," and their
shots may " follow in order," but cer
tainly, for these reasons alone, " team '"
is a very odd word to select out of on
rich language to express a body of men ;
associated for a definite purpose.
Much Drinking. The St. Louis 7'imf,'
contains an announcement which reads?
like some legend of the Rhine or story
of the Black Forest. At the wedding;
of Herr Louis Grunsfelder and Fraulei
Louise Neibert, daughter of John Nei
bert, the butcher on Chouteau avenue,
there were consDmed 700 bottles o$
Forster Kiesbing and champagne. As
there could certainly not well have been
more than 100 guests present, if as
many, there would be, by this count,
seven bottles to each guest. Iago tell.
us that " Your Dane, your German, and)
your sway-bellied Hollander drink, ho?
are nothing to your English. " Thcs
dramatist never visited St. Louis.
Convention of the Humorous Para
graphists. The New York Commer
cial says : A convention of the humor
ous paragraphists of the country is
talked of, each delegate, of course, to
nominate and elect himself. What a
crowd there will be ! The Brooklyn
Argus, Boston Post, Richmond En
quirer, JJetroit jfree Press, ljoui6viile
Courier-Journal, St. Louis Globe, and
Danbury News will all be expected.
We beg to suggest either the Bay of
Fun dy or Laugh-a-yette as a proper
point for the meeting. And why not
call the assembled wits the National
Board of Fnn-der-writers ?
i
Cheerful. Italy has an annual defi
cit which has never been less than
200,000,0001. ; a public debt which has
increased in thirteen years from 2,439,
OOO.OOOf. to 9,757,000,000f. ; a forced
paper currency of 840, OOO.OOOf., to
gether with an entire disappearance of
gold and silver ; exchange ranging be
tween 8 and 16 per cent., and at times
even 20 per cent against the country,
and imports to a large amount in excess
of the value of Italian productions exported.
1