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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (Nov. 6, 1874)
GOODY QRUXSKLL'S HOUSE.
BY LCCT BOOM.
A wear? old face, beneath clack mutch ;
I,:ko "a flme in & cavern her eye,
Be.wixt craggy forehead and cheek-bone high ;
Her long, lean fingers hurried to clutch
A something concealed in her rusty ckmk,
A- a step on the turf the stillness broke ;
While a nnnd was it curse or Bight
Sin jte the ear of the passer-by.
A dreary old house on a headland slope,
Againnt the gray of the sea.
Where garden and orchard used to be,
Wit i-h-graas and nettle and rag-weed grope
Paupers that eat the earth's riches out
Nightshade and henbane are lurking about,
lake demons that enter in
When a soul has run waste to sin.
The house looked wretched and woe-begcae ;
Its desolate windows wept
With a dew that forever dripped and crf-pt
From the moss-grown eaves ; aud ever anon
Some idle wind with a passing slap.
Made rickety shutter of shiugle flap
Ah who with a jeer should say,
Why does the old crone stay ?'
i sod; GnmcU'B house it was all her own ;
There was no one living to chide,
Th ago the tore every rib from its skeleton aide
To kindle a tire when she sat alone
With tb h'pts that had leave to go out and in.
Through ere vice and rent, to theeudlt3 din
jOf wmrea that wild ditties droned
Of winds tkat muttered and inoaued.
u this was the only booty she hid
lUttcter her threadbare cloak
A Ptrip of worn aud weather-stained oaJt ;
Then into her lonesome hearth she slid :
And, inch by inch, as the cold years sped.
iue was burning the house over her head ;
Wby nut when each separate room
Held more than a lifetime's gloom ?
Ooody Cii imariTa bouse not a memory Rlad
- hare ceiling cr wall ;
But cruel biiadoms would sometimes fall
'ii the floor ; and faces eerie and sad
At dusk would peer in at the broken pane.
While ghostly steps pattered through the rain.
Bending the blood with a start
To her empty, shriveled heart,
For she had not been a forbearing wife,
Nor a loyal husband's mate ;
The twain had been one but in fear aud hate.
And the horror of that inverted life
Had not spent itself on their souls alone ;
1'rom the bitter root evil buds had blown ;
There were births that blighted grew,
And died and uo gladness kuew.
The house unto nobody home had been,
But a lair of pain and shame ;
Could any its withered mistress blame,
v uo sought from its embers a spark to win,
A warmth for the body, to soul refused ?
fcuch cjuestioumg ran through her thoughts con-
As she slipped with her spoil from sight,
C-uId the aeau assert tueir right ?
The splint red board, like a dagger's ol&de,
ooody G runnel I cowering un1.
As if the house bad a voice that chid.
When wound after wound in its side she made ;
As if the wraiths of her children cried
l"r m their graves, to denouuee her a homicide ;
While the sea, up the weedy path.
Groaned, spuming in wordless wrath.
The house, with it? j itiful, haunted look
j Old Goody, more piteous still,
Anirry and ead. as the night fell chill
They axe pictures of a long-lost book.
liut the windows of many a human face
Stiow tenant that burn their own d we' ling-place ;
And specter and fiend will roam
Throtich the heart which is not love's home.
THE MIDNIGHT BURIAL.
Near the Golden Gate of the High
lands on the eastern bank of the noble
Hudson stands the handsome and com
manding residence of Judge Fassett.
Terrace rises above terrace from the
river, till the lawn, with its gentle as
cent, is reached, which merges at
length into a broad plateau. In the
center the house is situated, with here
and there a towering forest tree. From
this position, for many miles, the
prospect is unbroken and exhilarating
to the student of nature, who, as he
casts his eyes down along the valleys of
quiet beauty and then up the rugged
sides of huge Mount Taurus and Storm
King, capped with snow-banks of cloud,
feels a most exquisite sense of pleasure.
In the distance is seen th nation's
military academy at West Point, where
beardless boys are taught tlie scientific
method of killing men.
Judge Fassett was known to be a
man of great wealth, which he had ac
quired by a life-long devotion to his
profession in the city of New York,
but in his later years had sought the
retreat of a countrv home, and could
be retained only in cases of great im
portance. Me stood foremost among
the men of this country in legal learn
mg and acumen. He was very gener
ous. His gifts for public and private
purposes were munificent and frequent
so much so, indeed, that the native
citizens of the Highlands, who had
worn their fingers smooth feeling of
I the'r money, never thought of levying
a tax for any improvement, but relied
upon the generosity of the Judge
I Even then it was quietly whispered
by some that his motive was to increase
tne value 01 nis esiaie.
Judge Fassett had two daughters,
who were noted for their fascinating
beauty, each possessing an individual
tvpe, but the elder, Dell Fassett, was
the more general favorite among all
classes. She won by her open, artless
manners those who came into her soci-
' ety. She knew nothing of that hauteur
which is so often considered essential in
those whom some fatuitous circum
stance has pushed above the ordinary
stations of life. She was a romping,
rollicking, witty, accomplished, fasci
nating srirl, who knew how to conduct
herself with becoming manners in the
cabin of the poor as well as in the
drawiner-room of the rich.
Among those in the largo circle of
the Judsre s friends, to wnom he ex
tended a lavish and welcome hospitali
tv was a gallant young soldier of the
republic Colonel Fred Burleigh. His
acquaintance with the family began
wVifT he was a cadet, attending the mil-
itary school, and had ripened into the
This recognition in the Fassett fami
ly was not on the score of his parents'
wealth or social standing, for they
knew that they were quite humble peo
ple, but because he was a cadet. Since
the origin of the school, for some in
comprehensible reason, the spirit of
caste has been cultivated to perfection,
and it is only necessary to utter its
open-sesame to find entrance into the
charmed in closure. Ridiculous and
presumtuous as it may appear, it is yet
true that a body of students, supported
by the government, spend much of
their time in studying polite etiquette
and how to construct barriers against a
too near approach of the people who
It was not surprising that Fred Bur
leigh partook of this spirit, which he
knew was largely reciprocated bj many
of the upper-tendom, and that if he
could not win his way up by his own
intrinsic merits he could use the
crutch of his school.
But Fred was not the nest-egg of his
class. He developed splended abilities,
and on graduation day figured on the
list No. 1.
That was a triumphant day for Dell
Fassett. She saw her lover, Fred, win
in his class, as he had already won in
Thfl cadet was transformed
into an officer with a uniform and a
badge of his rank on his shoulder.
When he was assigned to active service
in the field during the most trying days
of our great war, the parting of the two
lovers was sad, tender, yet hopeful.
He passed through many battle, re
ceived but one flesh wound, and re
turned to the scenes of peace and to his
Dell with the prefix of "Colonel."
She welcomed him -with all the ardent
warmth of her nature. They spoke of
their betrothal, and wove bright vis
sions of the dav when thev would Dub-
licly offer their plighted vow of love and
But, alas ! a great change was mani
fest in Judge Fassett and his proud
They received the returned soldier
with great coldness, a freezing recogni
tion, that made him feel chilly himself,
as if little agues were running up and
down his back. His position was un
To make a long story short, it ap
pears that damaging rumors had been
sent from the army against the charac
ter of Col. Burleigh. He was " said to
be very intemperate in his habits, and
already a confirmed drunkard. This,
with many other things, led the Fas
setts the Judge and his wife to be
lieve that he was an irredeemable
scamp, and they resolved that their
dttTirrhtpr's hand "should not be criven in
c , - u
The Colonel was not long in ascer
taining that there was a rival in the
held, who was the author of these cal
umnies, and whose hope of acceptance
was thought to rest on the complete
demolition of the former.
Notwithstanding all ' ' explanations
and assertions of innocence on tne part
of the Colonel, Mr. and Mrs. Fassett
continued firm in their belief and in
flexible in their purpose to oppose the
Ou one occasion, Judge Fassett and
the Colonel interchanged some very un
pleasant words when both were in the
heat of passion, when the former or
dered the latter out of his house and
told him that if he ever darkened his
house door again he would shoot him.
The Colonel arose to depart, his lips
livid with rage, saying :
" Jndge Fassett, vour daughter will
be the wife of Fred Burleigh."
The estrangement became the staple
topic of town gossip, and some predict
ed that this was but the beginning of
Let us see.
One night, some weeks after the clos
ing events recorded above, I was called
into the country to attend a patient who
was very low. After ordering my car
riage, I went up to the room of a fellow
physician who was visiting me for a
few days, and invited lam to accompany
About midnight we were returning,
and to s'-.vo the distance of a mile,
turned up the back road that cuts diag
onally across Judge Fassett's estate.
As we came opposite the rear of the
mansion we heard three pistol shot?
hred in rapid succession. Aly com
panion and I were startled. What
could those shots mean ? And it was
midnight ; perhaps burglars had at
tacked the inmates, who had detected
them ! Would it not be cowardly not
to hasten to their assistance ? Our
horse was tied to a tree near by, and we
hastened toward the mansion.
Lights flashed hither and thither
for a moment then all was darkness,
and the house seemed vailed in a fune
Suddenly we heard a girnsh voice.
" Oh, pa, pa, how could you be so
cruel ? What a crime vou have commit
ted ! And you will be found out, and
" Come, come, daughter, don't be
foolish. You know I would not cross
your wishes if it were not for your in
terest and safety. 1 believe that r red
of yours was crazv I know he was.
and therefore it is right he should
"Oh, Fred, my dear, dear Fred! I
cannot let him die. I loved him so
this heart of mine will break I'm sure
it will. I wish you would shoot me,
"Dell, I must send you to vour room
if you do not stop your nonsensical
talk," said Judge Fassett, in a half-angry
In a moment s Hash the estrangement
between Judge Fassett and Col. Fred
Burleigh came to my mind, and I con
cluded that the latter had unfortunately
been caught violating the stern man
date which forbade his entering the
Judge's house. At all events a great
crime had been committed, and the
Judge was the murderer.
What to do I did not know. At times
I thought that if life was not extinct in
the victim I might offer my prof essional
services. Then the family would know
that the secret of the murder was also
in my possession, and my life might be
endangered. There was a far safer
course for me to pursue than that one
consistent with my duties as a citizen
and the claims of public justice to in
form the authorities.
For a short timo a mysterious, death
like silence reigned, when the Judge
returned to the Bpot where he was
when we first drew near, followed by a
" Mike, take this body to the tool
house, put it into one of those boxes
you will find there, and bury it deep
down on the lower side of the swamp
meadow. Do you understand ? If any
one questions you about it, you know
how to be silent."
The Irishman, aroused from a sound
sleep, had scarcely come to a full reali
zation of the work before him.
"Yer honor, 't will be done; but
isn't this strange business for gintle-
men to be a-dom r
" Oh, pa, pa ! you do not intend that
poor Fred's body shall buried to
"Yes, to-night, Dell ; and you must
not oppose it."
The sobbing girl saw that it was her
father's purpose to secrete the crime
and its guilt, if possible, from the pub
lic. He continued expostulating :
" As dreadful as it now seems to you,
the time will come, Dell, when you will
learn that this tragedy, sad as it is, was
for your good. There are others beside
him, and your love may soon be as
strodg for another."
" No, no, pa never ! I never can
love another as I loved him. Oh, look
at those eyes ! they are staring at you,
and, glazed though they be, they seem
to be rebuking you for your wicked
deed. See those curls matted with
blood flowing from that ugly wound in
" Now get up, my daughter take
your arms aw6y. Why, see ! your dress
is spotted with blood ! You must never
wear that again."
The distracted girl ran into the house:
but soon emerged, bearing a pair of
scissors in her hand, with which she
clipped a large cluster of her dead love's
After . few vigorous pulls and grunts,
Mike bore the body to the tool-house
and inclosed it in a box ; tken hitching
a horse to a small trunk wagon, he bore
it away in the direction of the swamp
After a brief consultation with lay
comnanion we decided to follow and see
where the remains were deposited, that
we might be able to furnish evidence of
the right kind, by directing the officers
of the law to the spot.
As we were moving along cautiously
among the trees at the base of a
cliff, just before striking out into the
meadow, we saw the figure of a womau
rapidly approaching. She called out,
in subdued tones :
" Mike, Mike, do stop !" She leaped
into the seat beside him, sobbing :
"Oh, I shall go I must go and see
where my darling is to be buried."
" I' faith, mi young woman, ye hadn't
be afther makin' so much noise about
Mike was looking furtively about to
this and then to that side, like one who
is in fear of detection.
The wagon came to a halt, and the
man began to dig the grave.
The mountains frowned ; the winds
sighed and moaned as if in anguish for
this dark, mysterious crime. We were
near enough to be certain that we could
identify the spot.
The "box was lowered in the grave,
and soon the work was done. W ith
difficulty Mike led the young girl away
and assisted her into the wagon, which
soon disappeared in the darkness, but
we heard these lingering words :
" That's a bad an' tiresome job done
wid, so it is. Devil a one will ever know
fhat became of him."
Next morning Judge Fassett was ar
rested on the charge of murder. So
sudden was the action of the civil au
thorities that no time was allowed for
The news sped throughout the village.
The village was electrified. The
knowing ones had their predictions ful
filled. " I knew 'twould be so."
A posse of officers, in whose wake
were half the population of the village,
were following the physician to the
swamp meadow. Said one, as they were
crossing Judge Fassett's grounds :
"There is some great myBtery in this
case. The Judge is the yery soul of
truth and honor. You (addressing the
physician) must be mistaken, and if so,
there'll be something to pay for this
arrest. Col. Burliegh was seen enter
ing the Judge's gate last night, 'tis
true ; but what does that prove?"
After a short search, some freshly
turned earth was discovered and the
A wooden box was struck ! The
populace became frantic. It was lifted
out. The crowd was pushing, leaping
upon each other, to get a view of the
peaceful form of a dog !
"Fred" had shown signs of hydro
phobia, and Judge Fassett shot him.
P. S. Col. Fred Burleigh and Dell
Fassett became husband and wile, and
are now living in their luxurious home,
surrounded by a coterie of little Bur
leighs, who enjoy lots of fuu when they
hear how their papa was shot. New
According to the last official reports
given in the liorsenzcitung, of Berlin,
the total number of iron-clads owned by
the naval powers of Europe is 244. The
total number of screw-ships, exclusive
of coast-steamers and gunboats, is 431.
Belgium, Switzerland and Servia have
no navy ; and Roumania has only a few
gunboats on the Danube. Holland,
Sweden, Norway and Portugal have no
iron-clads. Greece has 2 ; Germany, 3 ;
Denmark, 3 ; Spain, 7 ; Austria, 11 ;
Russia, 15 ; Turkey, 15 ; France, 28 ;
and England, 28. Austria, Italy, Greece
and Portugal haveno iron-clads for
coast service. Holland, which has no
iron-clads for war-service, has 18 iron
clads for coast-service ; England has 23,
and France 30. Germany has 2 turret
ships ; Spain, Norway and Denmark,
each 3 ; Turkey, 5 ; Sweden, 9 ; and Rus
sia, 13. Of screw-ships, England has
132 ; France, 52 ; Russia, 48 ; Turkey,
44 ; Spain, 37 ; Holland, 25 ; Italy, 24 ;
Germany and Denmark, each 16 ; Aus
tria, 14 ; Portugal 8 ; Sweden and Nor
way, 5 each ; and Greece, 2. In 1875,
Germany will have six new iron-clads
for war-service, which will rank among
the most powerful ships on the seas,
and, in points of thickness of their ar
mor, strength of their engines, and
number and quality of their guns, will
far surpass those of Austria, Italy and
France. The number of sailors, engin
eers, stokers, etc., employed in the
English navy, is 68,264 ; in the Russian,
36,000 ; the 'French, 35,570 ; the Turk
ish, 21,000 ; Spanish, 14,000 ; German,
12,450 ; Austrian, 11,350 ; Italian, 11,
200 ; Dutch, 6,206 ; Danish, 4,800 ; Nor
wegian, 3,500 ; Portuguese, 3,300.
A Remarkable Parallel.
A remarkable parallelism has been
shown to exist between Melbourne,
Australia, and San Francisco, Calforaia.
They are nearly in corresponding lati
tudes, San Francisco being in thirty
seven degrees and forty-eight minutes
north, while Melbourne is in thirty
seven degrees and forty-seven minutes
south, thus making one only one mile
nearer the equator than the other.
Both had their beginnings as towns in
1835 ; both remained insignificant places
until the discovery of gold in the coun
tries surrounding them ; both suddenly
arose to great wealth ; both suffered
from a decline of the gold yield, five
years after mining began ; and both have
risen to new and abiding prosperity, as
the agricultural resources of the tribu
tary country were developed. Here this
remarkable parallelism ceases. The
British colonies in Australia, of which
Melbourne is the metropolis, contain a
population nearly three times as great
as the Pacific slope, but Melbourne it
self does not greatly exceed San Fran
cisco in size. A California paper con
trasts the two cities, claims greater
natural advantages, such as climate,
geographical position, etc., for San
H rancisco, but reluctantly admits that
in public buildings, parks, etc., Mel-
bourns is to be envied, even by the most
loyal Calif ornians.
Advice to Settlers.
At a late celebration of Queen Vic
toria's birthday in Virginia, Mr. St.
Andrew is reported to have given his
countrymen the following advice, which
is equally applicable to Americans in
tending to migrate. He said :
1. Oorne in colonies, or go in colonies.
2. Bring money in your purse.
3. Leave your prejudices behind.
4. Don't expect too much.
5. For land or business pay cash.
6. Keep two-thirds at least of your
money for working capital.
7. Avoid land-sharks. You can easily
find out the reliable land agents.
8. In buying land don't get too much
of a good thing.
9. Adhere to the old-fashioned prin
ciples of British honor. Don't attempt
" smartness." Better-class Americans
don't admire it ; but they can beat
you at the game if you challenge them
10. Remember that success is more in
the man than in the countiy.
A hotel out West says, generously,
of a competing establishment, that it
stands without arrival.
Paris has 68,000 dogs, which last year
were taxed 8127,000.
Iowa put up 1,200 school-houses
within the past year.
South Australia produced 7,250,000
gallons of wine last year.
Forty-seven thousand Germans have
gone back to Paris to live.
Brooklyn has twenty beer breweries,
making 60,000 kegs a week.
Nine million horses in the United
States ; value, $660,000,000.
Massachusetts has furnished twenty
five members of the Cabinet.
Old Prob. hit it eight-eight times out
of every hundred last month.
A Nebraska paper tells of a flock of
pigeons numbering 4,328,764. Close
Connecticut has twenty-five silk fac
tories, whoso aggregate capital is 3,
450,000. A dealer in figures says that the
reaping machines of the country net a
leg a day.
An Atlanta, Ga., policeman has been
discharged for eating a box of sardines
while on his beat.
The "ordinary stock " of the railway
companies of the United Kingdom
amounts to nearly Jt Jou.uuu.uuu sterling.
Mr. Kilkuff, chief engineer of the
Pacific Mail Company, has sailed
1,786,000 miles in twenty-three years'
The London Metropolitan railway,
since its opening in 1863, has carried
305,000,000 persons without killing or
injuring a single one of them.
There are 10,500 miles of railway in
Russia, of which 3,488 miles are owned
by the state. There are beside 1,153
miles in progress of construction and
Camel's hair brushes have been
found to be capital substitutes for hos
pital sponges. Now, let science dis
cover some equally satisfactory way of
doing away with newspaper sponges,
and its triumphs will be complete.
The city of Rome is said to be honey
combed with about 900 miles of subter
ranean passage ways cut through the
solid rock, aud that these contain the
bodies of from 6,000,000 to 7,000,000
of human beings entombed there since
the city was built.
Don Carlos has black hair, brown
eyes, slightly aquiline nose, and black
beard, covering the whole face. He is
very handsome. He has an active,
powerful frame, and stands six feet
three in his boots. He is every inch
the old-fashioned hero-king.
The San Francisco Jiullelin, in a late
issue, says : Small dealers are com
plaining that enough of five cent pieces
cannot be obtained for the transaction
of business. So great is the demand
for these coins that premiums varying
from 2$ to 5 per cent, in gold are paid
The annual supply of copper from
the whole of the civilized world is esti
mated at between 127,000 and 130,000
tons. The annual tin supply is stated
at from 25,000 to 28,000 tons. These
estimates are made by a leading En
glish house engaged in the tin and cap
The total area of the 37 United
States, without the Territories, is 1,
950,170 square miles ; the area of coal
producing sections is 191,000 square
miles, which is about one square mile
in ten. The area of the ten Territories j
is 995,032 square miles, making an ag
giegate of 2,915,203 square miles.
John Smith in Luck.
A long article of great social interest
might be written upon wholesale addi
tions to the family ; but we promise to
be short. First it was at Terre Haute. I
The father, John Smith. Number of
little Smiths, all in one day, born to
John, four. Never was a family less
needing increase than the Smith family,
but this is the way that the odd old
dame, Nature, freaks it. All boys, and
each weighed 7J pounds. Thirty
pounds of little strangers ! The cir
cumstance was beautifully noticed the
next morning in the Terre Haute Ga
zette under the sensational heading of
" Four Bouncing Baby Boys !" " Here
after," says the Gazette, "let us cease
to curl the contemptuous lip when the
name of John Smith falls upun the ear.
For one, we promise. Not a curl !"
Then at Bethlehem, Pa , we observe
additional phenomena. Mrs. Carol and
Mrs. Ford are twin sisters. They were
married on the same day. Their first
children were born in the same month ;
their second in the same week ; their
third at the same hour or rather, we
should say their third and fourth each,
for on this interesting occasion there
were twin Carols and twin Fords. All
these darlings are alive and well. We
have spent more than an hour in rub
bing our head, and in thus trying to
dsduce some heretofore undiscovered
law of nature from these facts. It has
been a failure. Ne'er a law ! New
Western Union Telegraph.
The New York Bureau of Corre
spondence makes the following notice
of the new office of the Western Union
Telegraph Company, and oi the im
mense business of this mammoth cor
One of the finest buildings to be
found in New York is that in process of
erection by the Western Union Tele
graph Company, on the corner of Dey
street and Broadway. This immense
structure will be completed at a cost of
61,700,000, and will be read for occupancy
about . the first of January. The
building is nine stories high, and will
be entirely occupied by the company,
with the exception of two stories, which
will be rented. The battery room alone
will occupy nearly one story ; then the
President's room and the rooms of the
other officers will fill up the rest of the
building. Few persons have any idea
of the immensity of this corporation.
It owns 173,517 miles of iron wire, 5,955
offices, and has 9,190 employes. Last
year it transmitted 14,456,832 messages,
at an average of fifty -four cents a mes
sage. The company has been putting
up new wire at the rate of 20,000 miles
a year for the past three years.
Said that Detroit Justice : " It is my
solemn duty to warn you, Jane Welch,
that you are on the high road to degra
tion. This court is going to send you
to the House of Correction for sixty
days, but only with a feeling of kind
ness. You will have time to reflect ;
your nose will lose its rosy hue ; you'll
have a chance to comb your hair and
make yourself a bnstle, and I haven't a
doubt that, before you come out, you
will have such high aims that a police
man can't get within ten rods of you."
A FREE THINKER'S FANCY.
Strange Inscriptions on a Gravestone at
Never has anything created such uni-
: versal excitement and aroused the in
dignation of the citizens in the usually
quiet village of Buchanan, Berrien
county, as has the erection in our ceme
tery of a monument on which are sev
eral inscriptions, indicative of a great
want of reverence for sacred things.
The monument was erected by Joseph
Coveny, a returned Californian, and
wealthy farmer of this vicinity, who
though of sound mind in other matters,
seems to entertain peculiar views in re
gard to religion. It is from the marble
works of Sewersten & Schulte, of Niles,
and is the most beautiful one in the
cemetery when viewed at a distance
and also the most expensive, having
cost Coveny nearly 3,000.
On the front side is engraved in large
letters the following :
"Joseph Coveny The More Peace The
More Plenty A Free Thiuker's Monument."
Below this, in smaller letters, can be
seen the following :
" The world i my country, to do good my
religion. A word to the wise. God in the
Constitution ia the end of liberty. Beware
how you unite Church and State. Catholics
will burn heretics and Protestants hang Quak
j era aud witches. The Bible God is not all
I powerful. He drove out tho inhabitants of
the mountain, but could not drive out the
! inhabitants of the valley because they had
j chariots of iron Judges i. 19."
! On the second side under the heading
of "Free Press" is inserted this : "The
More Saints Tho More Hypocrites."
and below this under " Sunday Read
ing" is a verse credited to Numbers, 31.
It reads :
"Thirty-two thousand virgins given by
command of God to an army of twelve thou
sand to debauch." "A poor consolation to
mothers." " The "th chapter of Isaiah has
no reference to futurity. It was a sign given
to Ahaz of victory over his enemy, but the
prediction was false. See 28th chapter of
Second Chronicles. Don't forget Cotton
Mather and his reverend associates. All
Christian denominations preach damnation to
The third side begins :
"Free Speech. Tho More Religion The
More Lying." " Remember Mary Dyer hang
ing on the big elm tree on the Boston Com
mon, a victim to Christian superstition.
Priestcraft and exemption is a source of
danger to republican governments." The
heathen's praver is "O, Lord, forgive my
enemies and then me," but the Christian
j cries amen to their damnation. " The Chris
I tian religion begins with a dream and ends
; with a murder."
The fourth and last side is headed :
j "Free Religion The more Priost The
j More Poverty. Naturo is the true God.
: Science the True Religion. John Wesley said
! uniess you deny God and honor tho King
George, you will be damned. I say let the
arts and sciences supersede kingcraft, priest
craft, superstition and bigotry. The holy
I prophets said the tree that does not bear good
j fruit is hewn down and cast into the fire.
(Science tells you graft it.) And well did the
j holy inquisitor obey the order. Bat tho time
is not far distant when tho old book of de
bauchery will be burned in jlaco of men and
To persons who have not visited the
i cemetery since the erection of this
! monument, the toregoing may seem ut
i terly improbable, but the inscriptions
i were copied verbatim by tho corre
: pondent of the Free Press. Last Sun
j day evening a sermon was preached in
the Presbyterian church by Rev. Mr.
j Wells, in "which the vile lot of blas-
phemy just mentioned was denounced
i in the strongest terms. Popular indig
nation runs high, and should the monu
ment be blown to pieces some night,
the public here would not be surprised.
Detroit Free Press.
The Empress Josephine's Handkerchief.
A correspondent of the Paris Ameri
can Register writes : "I have so often
heard French persons criticise the un
willingness of English and American
ladies to name certain articles of the
the feminine toilet that I was quite
delighted a few days ago, in perusing
some old chronicles, to find out that it
was possible for the French to be quite
as prudish as we. Until the reign of
the Empress Josephine a handkerchief
was thought in France so shocking an
object that a lady would never have
dared to use it before any one. The-i
word even was carefully avoided in re
fined conversation. An actor who would
have used a handkerchief on the stage,
even in the most tearful moments of the
play, would have been unmercifully
hissed ; and it was only in the beginning
of the present century that a celebrat
ed actress, Mile. Ducnesnois, dared to
appear with a handkerchief in her hand.
Having to speak of this handkerchief in
the course of the piece she never could
summon enough courage to call it by its
true name, but referred to it as a light
tissue. A few years latter a translation
of one of Shakspeare's plays by Alfred
de Vigny having been acted, the word
handkerchief was used for the first time
on the stage amid cries of indignation
from a great part of the house. I doubt
if even to-day the French elegantes
would carry handkerchiefs if the wife
of Napoleon I. had not given the signal
to adopt them. The Empress Jose
phine, although really lovely, had very
ugly teeth. To conceal them she was
in the habit of carry small handker
chiefs adorned with costly laces, which
she continually raised gracefully to her
lips. Of course all the ladies of the
court followed her example, and hand
kerchiefs have rapidly become an im
portant and costly part of the feminine
toilet ; so much so that the price of a
single handkerchief of the trousseau of
the Duchess of
Minuurgn would male
the fortune of a necessitous family
The Cost of War.
The Republic magazine presents
some rather startling statistics concern
ing the different wars in which the
United state? has been en
the war of the Revoluti
1783) 278,021 soldiers were engaged ; in
the war of 1812 to 1815, 527,654 ; in the
Mexican war, 73,260 making a total
of 878,935 while in the war of 1860 no
less than 2,757,598 were engaged. Dur
ing the rebellion 279,689 officers and
men were killed or wounded, while
6,749 were missing in action. Since
the commencement of the war the gov
ernment has paid, up to June, 1874, in
pensions, over $251,000,000. Deduct
ing $5,000,000 for former pensioners,
there is left $246,000,000 growing ;ont
of the rebellion. Some idea of the
number of pensions, and the amounts
paid during these twelve years may be
gathered from the following table :
Army luvallila 99,804
Army widows and dependent relatives 112,088
Survivors of ths war of 1812 18.2
Widows of soldiers of tlie war of 1812 5,038
Navy invalids 1.430
Navy widows aud dependent relatives 1,770
The rebellion entailed a debt of
$2,500,000,000 upon. the government to
be paid by the people, and, aside lrom
the principal of the public debt, and
pensions, there was paid during the fis
cal year 1873 the sum of $127,992,989.
95, on account of expenses growing out
of the late war.
A Springfield gentleman concluded
to have a bath the other evening, and
in the dark got hold of a chunk of stove
blacking by mistake for the soap. A
more polished man than he was has
never been seen in the whole State of
Two Rich Men.
A New York correspondent of the
Cincinnati Gazette writes : " The chief
holder of personal estate in this city
is Commodore Vanderbilt, who is esti
mated at $40,000,000, the largest part
of which is in railway property. He
owns enough in the Connecticut river
and New Haven roads to be a director
in each, and he also owns the control
ling interest in the Central.'.Hudson and
Lake Shore, besides his stock in Ohio
and Mississippi and other important
roads. It was said of George Peabody
that he made almost the entire bulk of
his enormous wealth after his fiftieth
year. I think a stronger statement
can be made of the Commodore, for he
has made the largest part of his money
since he was sixty that is, within the
last score of years. I suppose that
when the war broke out he was not
worth five millions. The incessant and
enormous increase of railroad values,
and the colossal extent of his opera
tions, have brought an increase so stu
pendous as to remind us of the old sto
ries of Oriental magic. The only in
stance in which real and personal estate
is combined almost equally in the vast
possessions of one individual is found
in A. T. Stewart. He owns enough in
each of these shapes of wealth to make
a dozen men rich. In point of real
estate he has two great dry goods estab
ishments on Broadway, also the Met
ropolitan Hotel, and the former Uni
tarian Church. Add to these the Bap
tist Church in Amity street, now used
as the stables of his business teams,'
the Depeau row, in Bleecker street, and
above all his Fifth avenue palace, which
cost $1,000,000. In personal estate is
his stock in trade, capital and bills re
ceivable, which must be $10,000,000,
and a large quantity of bank stock. In
this manner Stewart wields both classes
of property. He has differed entirely
from Vanderbilt in tins point. The
latter has invested almost solely in rail
way stocks, while the former" has es
chewed this form of property iu a very
peculiar manner. He has a strong
affinity for those things which pertain
to trade and to this alone. It is said
that his estates cannot be less than $30,-
Mysteries of Vegetation.
The Opelousas (La.) Journal gives
au account of a white-oak tree, in the
parish of Calcasieu, whicli has, in the
course of its growth, accomplished a
curious feat. The trunk of the tree is
2 feet in diameter, and rises to the
height of about 25 or 30 feet without
throwing out a single branch. About
12 or 16 feet above the base of the oak,
the limb or stem of a pine tree, 0 or 8
inches in diameter and 12 to 16 feet
long, passes directly through the center
of ita shaft, projecting several feet be
yond each side. The oak incloses the
pine tightly, and is as perfectly solid at
this point as at every other. The ques
tion is, How did the pine and the oak
get into so strange a position toward
each other? The pine is dead, but the
turpentine in its cells preserves it from
decay, and conjecture helplessly won
ders how it ever got through the oak,
or the oak ever got around it.
In Mallet woods there is another
white-oak that presents a curious fea
ture. The trunk is of considerable size,
and divides into two prongs about 1
feet above the ground, which run up
separately perhaps 15 feet, aud then
unite again into a single, solid stem.
The two prongs are each, say, 1 j feet
in diameter ; but, when they become
one again, the single stem is smaller in
circumference than the two stems meas
ure taken separately.
A Queer Hen Story.
From West Chester there comes to us
the following sad story of a well-meaning
hen : A man by the name of Lot
Fithian, of that place, had been the
owner of a hen that, to all appearance,
was just like others of her tribe, except
that she had ceased to perform the
functions of a well-behaved maiden
chicken she didn't lay any eggs. This
was all the more singular'when it was
observed that she did not show a dis
position to " chuck. " The hen seemed
to thrive and ate well, but it was evi
dent she had something on her mind.
She seemed weighed down with grief of
some undischarged duty. A few days
ago Mr. Fithian killed the chicken, and
on dissecting her discovered twenty
eight full-sized, well-shaped eggs, the
only difference between them 8ud mar
ketable eggs being that they were minus
the hard sh 11. The cause of the poor
hen's despondency was now explained.
She had done her duty, had prepared
her eggs for delivery, but owing to
some obstruction nature refused to per
form her share of the work. What
would have been the ultimate conse
quences of this had the hen been al
lowed to live on we are not prepared to
say ; but it certainly is a strange freak
of nature, the similitude of which we
Lhave never before heard of. I)oylc8-
town Pa.) Democrat.
Mile. Rachel, the late great French
tragic actress, who, nineteen years ago,
visited this country on an artistic tour,
had a well-deserved reputation for
shocking avarice ; in fact, she would
have cut a cent into four pieces. As she
at, s miner one nicht. in a reunion of
artists and authors at Alexandre Dumas
father's (whose prodigalities and superb
disdain for money afforded a striking
contrast with the celebrated Jewess'
covetousness), the company indulged in
playing cards, and Rachel, taking out
of her pocketbook some money for the
game, let a silver piece of 50 centimes
(10 cents) fall on the floor. Much
troubled by the incident, she immedi
ately called for Dumas' servant to bring
a candle and fetch the important trifle.
"Let me do it," maliciously exclaimed
Dumas, sending back his servant. "I'll
find it for you, my love." And, taking
out of his pocket a bank note of 100
francs ($20), he lighted it at the luster,
picked up under the table the half
franc piece, and most graciously ten
dered it to Rachel, who carefully put il
in her portmonnaie as she would have
done with a relic coming from her an
The Men who Can Forgive. The
brave only know how to forgive ; it is
the most refined and generous pitch of
virtue human nature can arrive at.
Cowards have done good and kind ac
tionscowards have even fought, nay,
sometimrs even conquered, but a cow
ard never forgave. It is not in his na
ture ; the power of doing it flows only
from a strength and greatness of soul,
conscious of its own force and security,
and above the little temptations of re
senting every iruitiess attempt to inter
rupt its happiness.
Be Ckeebfcl. One cheerful faoe iv
a household will keep everything bright
and warm within. Envy, hatred,
malice, selfishness, despondency, and r
host of evil passions, may lurk around
the door, they may even look within,
but they can never enter and abide
there ; tlie cheerful face will put them
to shame and flight.
A Crumby Convention.
No fictitious characters impress us
with a sense of reality like those of
Shakespeare. When we read of a Con
vention of the Fat Men of Ohio and
Michigan, which was held at Put-in Bay
on the 10th inst., we said to ourselves :
" Ah ! if only Sir John Falstaff could
have been there !" He is the ideal of
adipose. He is the refinement of gross
ness. His wit and his waggery ; his
mendacity so enormous that it almost
seems more respectable than truth ; his
selfishness so absolute that it has an
aspect of generosity ; his sensuality so
little concealed that it, well nigh
amounts to the spiritual all these are
qualities which demand large quarters.
We cannot picture him as spare ; we
cannot think of his unctuous sentences
coming from a hungry month. His
great sides give to his cha2' and balder
dash the gravity of a sermoE. Mauger
many doubts, we respect h'ci as we re
spect a mountain. Ho talks, it is true,
almost always of himself, but then there
is so much to talk about ! Hundreds
of pounds go to hin composition, and!
there is the wisdom whiefi makes tho
best of every thiu;-; in every ounce of
But we must not forget car fat friends
at Put-in Bay while dwelling affection
ately upon their swelling prototype. Such
a meeting was of ponderous portent, and
may be called the Apotheosis of Avoir
dupois. There was, inueed, m the
regulation of the convention, a slicht
suspicion of personal pride and exclu-
siveness. Tne standard of qualification
was high, or at least broad and heavy.
ir"erfect rotundity alone axgwered the-
compieteness of the conception, and no
ught weight could eater there. A con
stitutional provision (Artii'ie I. ) rigor- -ously
Bhut the gates of admission upon
every candidate weighing less than 20C'
pounds. Credentials were irj the cor-
poration. Nobody eune-'r:ng whose
specific gravity ther win the least,
doubt could take his peet before going
to scale, and the Ughtest monster of a
member, John Dulco, Esq. , of Monroe,
Mich., weighed 200 pounds ; the most
ponderous being Mr. Jobs; Templeton,
of Swanton, Ohio, who pulled down 428
pounds, and was accordingly made,
honorary chairman. Ah ' but it must
have been a sight to see them all seateel
in long and billowy rows ranges oi
sesquipedality, chains of abdominal'
Alpsand pyramids of thepinguid Only,
fancy the King of the Cannibal Island",
looking in there with Lis mouth full oi
water ! Why there were distinct and
separate masses of meat, and the ag
gregate weight thereof, if we have not
blundered in additioc, was 13, 6191
pounds I Had they beer h -r ed up, it
would have been Felice upon Ossa
Woman, too, lovel7 aud large, wat
there, viz. : Mrs. Walter Deform, Nor
walk, Ohio (298 rounds?, and Mrs.
Sullivan, North Bass Islncd, Ohio (298
pounds). Hail to yon, most equal anil
most mighty mesdames ! Joans oi
juiciness ! noble champions of the
equality of the Bexes, at least in the
matter of ponderous plurtij. aess. Our
souls all love largeness, and the toui
ensemble must havo been imposing in
the extreme ! New York Tribune.
A Ulass Eater.
There is a chap in Staunton, Va., who
eats glass. "I went out." says the
physician who describes it, " and se
cured a piece, about one-third of a
broken pane, and brought in several
friends to witness the siht. Ho took.
the glass and deliberately bit out a
piece about the size of a silver halt
dollar, and chewed it, up with as mucb
gusto as if it had been a piece of bread,
swallowed it, taking afterward awwallow
of water and bread, he said, to get the
particles out of hi a teeth. He would
have eaten the whole piece Lad I asked,
as he has frequently eaten tumblers fox
a drink of whisky. He said he wotilc: t
eat any kind of glass except the colorei I
bottle glass, which had poison in it. .
He was first induced to try the experi
ment about three years ago, at the Cape
of Good Hope, by a surgeon in the
British navy, who bet he could eat all ,"
the glasses (eighteen in number) at ?
dinner party, which he did, and he saw
no reason why he could not do as much,
so he tried it by eating only three.
Since that time he has eaten glass foi
the amusement of others over a thou
sand times, with no disagreeable effect.
The only difference he sees is it give?
him an appetite."
An Industrious People.
Every Swiss city and large town hap.
its special industry. Some excel in one
branch of manufactures and some in
another ; but, taken in their entirety,
they aggregate a very respectable pro
duction for so small a nation. While
the Swiss raise more than enough meat,
butter and cheese for their own con
sumption, they are obliged to import,
about 1;500,000 barrels of flour per an
num from Franco and Germany. Nor -do
they grow nearly enough wool to
clothe themselves ; but, from the pro
ceeds of their sales of silk and cotton
fabrics, of embroidery, watches, jewel
ry, chemicals and wood carvings, they
are abundantly enabled to supply all
their wants in the shape of imported,
goods and food. The Swiss are certain
ly the most industrious peojjlo in tho
world, as well as the most frugal. Ev
erybody works men, women and chil
dren. There is no leisure, idle, ox
loafer class, and few drones, in this
busy hive. -Joseph Media's Letter to
A Good Paper.
We do not often give a voluntary pufl
to any of the many professed family
newspapers printed in the country.
There is one, however, that possesses-;
so many excellences as a family journal
and news paper combined that we can
not refrain from" saying a word in its
praise. We allude to the Chicago
Ledger. Each namber is tilled with
the very choicest reading, including
stories, anecdotes, sketches of advent
ure and travel, poetry, domestio reci
pes, and other useful information. It.
is printed by the ledger Company,
Chicago, at $1.50 a year, which is cheap
when we consider that the paper con
tains forty-eightclosely-printed columns
of good reading. The Ledger is always
a welcome visitor to our table. Iu tho
language of Rip Van Winkle, " May it
livelong and prosper." Western Boon
omist. The Pacific Roads.
Late agreements entered into be
tween the Union Pacific and Kansas
Pacific railways are of deep interest to
all baanches of business in the country.
All the former rivalries and jealousies
existing between the roads have been
done away with, and henceforth they
will run m harmony, avoiding former
delays in transportation, and adopting
a more reasonable system of freightage.
The transmission of California fruits,
especially, will be affected for good.
The Central Pacific officers have also
united in the general hwrmony, thus
placing these great thoroughfares upon
a more perfect and sensible footing
than has existed since their construction.