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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (Nov. 6, 1874)
rmusllEI) EVF BY TRTBATEV COLL- VAN CLEVE. ALBANY, - - OREGON. A PRIMA DONNA'S TOOTH. Mme. Pauline fardot, the ever-to-be-remembered Fides, in Meyerbeer's 'Prophete,"had one of her incisive teeth in her upper jaw longer than the rest of her pearly jewels, which somewhat dam aged the beautiful expression of her physiognomy. A few evenings before the production of the " Prophete," dur ing one of the general rehearsals of that opera, Meyerbeer went into her room in the theater, and advised her that he could not consent to let her sing Fides. "How so ?" exclaimed the great artiste, stupefied at such adreadful rev elation. "Am I wrong in the inter pretation of any part of the role ? If so, you should tell me, sir, and I will correct myself." "Madame, you are a perfect Fides, and I could not dream of any tragedian songstress to sing and play better than you," answered the maestro, "bat but you cannot per form Fides! unless " "Unless what ?" quickly replied Pauline Viardot, burst ing into tears. "Unless you submit to a painful surgical operation, and I guess you won't, madame. " 4 ' What do you think, sir ?" "Simply this, mad ame : you must have that overgrown tooth sawn to the level of the others." " Oh ! sir, it must be horrible. Surely IH be dead before the excision is over." " Not at all, madame, I have just or dered the dentist of the Queen of Prus sia to come to Paris for the express purpose of attending your operatic maj esty, and you may rely upon his unsur passed skill. " As it was the sine qua non condition imposed by the hard-to-please maestro, Pauline Viardot made up her mind to confide her beautiful head to Herr Mullkeistrom, M. D., who first chloroformed her, and with a magic dexterity . removed at once the obnox ious bit of ivory. A few nights after that " terrible " trial. Pauline Viardot "won her crown of immortality in that role of Fides in which she will never be xnaia. " When the tremendous echoes of the enthusiastic applause and rappels had abated, and the artists were allowed to leave the stage, Giacomo Meyerbeer, trembling like a child, with emotion, respectfully took Fides' right wrist, to which he adjusted a diamond bracelet worth 30,000 francs, in the middle of -which, and surrounded by rubies, stood the small piece of tooth that for so many years had been prominent in the great artiste's features. FISHING FOR SMELT. The Traveller tells the following story of an old gentlemen who passes his summer days at a favorite resort in Boston harbor. The other morning before 4 o'clock he took his fishing rod and basket and went gravely (he does everything gravely) down to the land ing, to fish an hour or two before break fast. The sport was not over exciting, and after he had caught one smelt he took a short nap, the smelt meanwhile having been deposited in the basket. ; Another bite came, and another smelt was caught and placed in the basket. Two," says the old gentleman, lacon ically, but to his surprise his first fish was gone. He wondered a little, but took another nap. Then caught an other smelt. " Two now," said the old man ; but wonder again, the second fish had disappeared. He tried one more nap with the same result, and after catching his fourth fish determined to watch his basket while the fifth smelt was biting. The thief was discovered, and proved to be an immense and cheeky wharf rat not a human wharf rat, but a rodent. He had been feed ing during the pleasant sleep of the an cient fisherman, and no doubt went off to tell his friends what a kind old fellow had been roosting on the landing. In 1862 what was known as the "Wicked Bible " was printed and is sued. It derived its title from the fact that the word "not "was accidentally omitted from the seventh command ment by one of the intelligent com positors of the period, and an act of Parliament ordered the destruction of the edition. The statistics published by the Mon treal Board of Health for the month of August are well calculated to startle the people of that enterprising city. Ac cording to the Gazette, there occurred 583 deaths within the municipal limits during that month, which, estimating the population at 120,000, gives a mor tality rate of 58. 70 per thousand inhab itants. " This," remarks the Gazette, "means that out of every thousand persons in the city ef Montreal, 58 or 59 die in the course of the year. So, if the population were not being continu ally reinforced by births, and by new arrivals, the entire mass of 120,000 per sons would be taken to their last home -within seventeen years ; or, in other words, the average life of a citizen of Montreal is but seventeen years. Cool Esocgh. An impecunious gen tleman once saw a thief enter his room when the moon shone brightly upon him. He lay quietly, as if in sound sleep, for a time, as the examination went rapidly oh. At length he was con vulsed with laughter, which started the miscreant peering into his desk. See ing he was taken at a disadvantage, the intruder turned and asked what occasion there was for such an outburst. He replied, "I was thinking how ex tremely ridiculous it ia for you to be searching for money in the night when I am unable to find any in the day time.". Mcsketoes have become as great a nuisance in England as they are in the United States, from which, it is said, they were imported in 1870. WAR OF CHURCH AND STATS. Nearly all the European correspond ents of the American press are just now nursing with great earnestness the probabilities and inevitabilities of a conflict between church and state in Europe. A late London letter reviews exhaustively the situation. The writer alleges that Pere Hyacinthe is as cer tain as Mr. Disraeli is that a terrible re ligious war is about to break out all over Europe, and that this is to be preceded or followed by other wars, so that for some years to come war is to prevail " international war, civil war, and re ligious war." ' Mr. Loyson gave expres sion to these sad forebodings at a ban quet given in Geneva to the members of the International Law Conference. He was frank in saying that it was quite useless to hope for a reign of peace on earth as long as " the moral perversity" of man remained, and that wars would continue until "evil was destroyed." The coming religious war was a renewal of the old conflict between the church and tne state ; the coming civil war would be a conflict between labor and capital, and the coming international war would be one led on by the jealousies and rivalry of nations. The future of Europe was, indeed, "an appalling one. Mr. Dis raeli has lately taken care to express the same opinion. The war once com menced, all Europe will be drawn into it, and even England will find it. hard to preserve her neutrality. The United States alone, adds the correspondent and prophet, can afford to be a specta tor and iuot an actor in the conflict ; and when the combatants have torn each other to pieces and the combat slack ens in consequence of sheer exhaustion, the republic may step in as arbitrator and peacemaker. OUR RAILROADS. At the end of 1873 there were re ported 71,564.9 miles of main lhi$s, and 13,512 miles of sidings and double tracks, making 85,077.9 miles of rail roads within the United States. Of fhe main lines 5,402.3 miles were in the New England States, 11,209 in the Middle States, 33,905.9 in the Western Stales, and 2,081.3 in the Pacific States. Vfon these roads locomotives were runniig, and a large proportion of them used wood for fuel. The number of ties lised varies from 2,200 to 2,800 per mile. If we take 2,500 as a mean, we find that 212,692,500 pieces of timber, eight feet long, and from six to eight inches be tween upper and lower surfaces, are re quired to supply even this item. The durability of ties varies with the kind of timber, soil, climate and use, Hing ing from four to ten years. Taking six as an average, the amount requirel for annual supply must be 35,448,750 pieces, or 94,530,000 cubic feet. In considering this we must remember that a large amount of waste occurs from hewing and from leaving the upper parts of trees, some of which are used as firewood, the remainder being a total loss. It must also be borne in mind that the demand for timber by railroads, besides for ties and fuel, is very great, including fencing, bridges, buildings and structures of various kinds ; that the risk from fires is ex ceptionally great, and our require ments in this direction are increasing even more rapidly than our supplies are wasting. WHO WROTE SHAKESPEARE? Says a correspondent of the Rich mond Enquirer : Hamlet overheard Julius Csesar tell King Lear, on the Twelfth Night after the Tempest, that Antony and Cleopatra had told Cori olanus that Two Gentlemen of Verona were the authors of Shakespeare's plays. Lear said : You may take it As You Like It, but I don't believe it, for I heard Borneo and Juliet say that their Love's Labor was Lost when Troilus and Cressida stole the Comedy of Errors and sold it to the Merchant of Venice. Timon of Athens and Cym belline were parties to the theft, and, after drinking Measuie for Measure with the Merry Wives of Windsor, told King John all about it. Richard IIL (a competent critic) said Bacon could not write even a Winter's Tale, and Henry V ill. says tliat settles it : so why make so Much Ado About Noth ing ? Othello was busy dealing a five cent game of faro to the IV., V. and VI. Henrys, and the only remarks made by them were an occasional " Prindle, don't turn ; hold on," and a few other forcible remarks of a cursory nature ; and, as Richard II. was absent Taming the Shrew, I could get no further evi dence as to who wrote Shakespeare. But All's Well that Ends Well. THE DISEASE OF THE DAY. A correspondent of the Boston Jour nal writes : " Paralysis is becoming a prime disease. It is not confined to the fleshy, the plethoric, nor to the aged. The fast life of our business young men tells on them. It is a very common thing to see men of thirty and thirty five bald-headed, feeble-gaited, and walking abcut with canes, their under pinning knocked out, with other signs of premature age. These signs of early weakness develop in paralysis. Sudden deaths from this cause are very com mon. Several have occurred in railroad trains ; the vibration seems to predis pose persons to the disease. Not long since a gentleman died in one of our churches. He was interested in a case of discipline. He made a report to the church on the case, sat down, laid his head on the back of the seat and instantly expired. In another case, a man not accustomed to public speaking arose to relate his religious experience. He was so excited that he could scarcely speak. In the midst of his remarks he was seized with paralysis, and carried to his home. Our young men will have to tone down their style of living if they amount to anything.' THE TI UEl.ESS BRAIA Our brains are seventy-year clocks. The angel of life winds them up once for all, then closes the case, and gives the key into the hands of the angel of the resurrection. Tic, tac, tic, tac, go the wheels of thought. Our will cannot stop them, sleep cannot still them, mad ness only makes them go faster. Death alone can stop them by breaking into the case and seizing the ever swinging pendulum which we call the heart, si lencing at last the clickingof the terrible escapement we have carried so long beneath our wrinkled foreheads. If we could only get at them as we lie on our pillows and count the dead beats of thought after tnought, and image after image jarring through the tired organ. Will nobody block those wheels, un couple that pinion, cut the string that holds these weights, blow up the ma chine with gunpowder ? What a pas sion comes over us sometimes for silence and rest if this dreadful mechanism unwinding the endless tapestry of time, embroidered with spectral figures of life and death, could have but one brief holiday. Who can wonder that men swing themselves off from beams in hempen lassoes ; that they jump off from parapets into the swift and gur gling waters beneath ; that they take counsel of the grim fiend who has but to utter his peremptory monosyllables, and the restless machine is shivered as a vase dashed upon a marble floor. If anybody would really contrive some kind of a lever that we could thrust in among the works of this horrible au tomaton and check them or alter their rate of going, what would the world not give for the discovery ? Men are very apt to get at the machine by some indi rect reason or other. They clap on the brakes by means of opium, they change the maddening monotony by the use of intoxicating liquors. It is because the brain is locked up, and we cannot touch the movements directly that we thrust these coarse tools through any crevice by which they may reach the interior, alter its rate of going for a while, and at last spoil the machine. A BRA VE HERO. To the already long roll of American railroad heroes must be added the name of Thomas Furlong, baggage master on the Old Colony railroad's New Bedford express train. Mr. Furlong happened to be riding on one of the switching en gines in the Boston yard, which was backing over the draw. Just as the engine was entering the bridge struc ture, Mr. Furlong noticed two men starting to walk over the narrow tim bers, on which the rails are laid, and, seeing their peril, he told the engineer to shut off, and then prepared for the rescue of the men. One of them was struck by the engine and thrown to one side, where he lodged, comparatively uninjured. The other man had pro ceeded further on the timber, and, if struck by the engine, would have been thrown lengthwise on the rail, and con sequently cut in haves. Mr. Furlong reached forward, and taking the man by the chin raised him from the track with the intention of carrying him across to tne other side; but, his strength being unequal to this task, he lifted the man clear of the rail and dropped him over into the water. By this time the engine was slowed con siderably, so that, leaping off, Mr. Furlong and the fireman secured a boat hook and fished the man from the water. The rescued men were employed as divers at the Broadway bridge draw pier, and were filled with gratitude to their daring rescuer. This is by no means Mr. Furloag's first successful attempt at life-saving. HOW INDIANS CLIMB TREES. In South America even the weakest may be, not uncommonly, seen pluck ing the fruit at the tree tops. If the bark is so smooth and slippery that they cannot go climbing, they use other means. They make a hoop of wild vines, and putting their feet inside they use it as a support in climbing. The negro of the West Coast of Africa makes a larger hoop around the trees, and gets inside of it and jerks it up the trunk with his hands, a little at a time, draw ing his legs up after it. The Tahitian boys tie their feet together, four or five inches apart, with a piece of palm bark, and with the aid of this fetter go up the cocoa palms to gather nuts. The native women in Australia climb the gum trees after opossums. Where the bark is rough they chop holes with a hatchet ; then one throws about the tree a rope twist as long as will go round it, puts her hatchet on her crop ped head, and placing her feet against the tree and grasping the rope with her hands, she hitches it up by jerks, and pulls herself up the enormous trunk al most as fast as a man will climb a lad der. NO " BACKBONE." The last wonderful story comes from across the water, and tells of an Irish woman who lost her bones .' The vic tim, forty -five years old, was a patient in an insane asylum. For five years she was confined to her bed, complain ing of no pain, but gradually becoming weaker, while dwindling in stature un til she lost half her height. As the disease progressed, her limbs were coiled up in every possible shape, the bones becoming extremely light, soft, fragile, and atrophied in every respect. At death, all that was left of her skele ton, including the skull, weighed two pounds and a half. The number of fractures was prodigious. The ribs were in a hundred fragments. Had she lived a little longer, it was thought that not a vestige of a bone would have been left in her body. What ailed her no one could tell, the disease being almost un heard of and difficult to diagnose, treat, or even name. RIDING DOWN BROADWAY Donn Piatt, writing to his paper, the Capital (.Washington), relates the fol lowing. The reader, of course, need not be informed that omnibuses are called stages in New York : Of late the stage companies, to escape the well-known robbery of drivers, have put the patent box in each stage. The drivers give change but are not permit ted to take the fare. We were seated, when a stout gentleman entered and crowded into a corner near the door, for the stage was crowded. The new-comer took from his vest pocket a ragged note and passed it along the line. The man nearest the box was a meek-eyed crea ture in the single-breasted coat upon which females are so fond of casting their burdens, and sometimes them selves, for he was evidently a clergyman. This hnmble follower of of the Lord lifted the note and dropped it in the box. " Halloo !" cried the indignant adi pose near the door, "what'dyou do that fur? It's a quarter." " I'm very sorry, I'm sure," stam mered the gospel expounder. "Much good'll your sorrow do me," answered indignation, working nis way to the hole through which the driver conversed with the passengers. He trod on several corns as he pulled the strap. The stage came to a halt. " I want my change," he shouted up through the hole. "What change," shouted down the driver. " I put a quarter in the box." "More fool you." " I want none of your impudence." " What do you want then ?" "I want my change." "You can't fool me that way. How do I know you put in a quarter ?" And the driver started. The clergyman sprang up and pulled the strap and shouted : "I put the quarter in, my good man; it is all correct." " Two of you," retorted the driver, driving on. Both adipose and piety hung to the strap. "Blast your or'nary souls," roared the driver, "do you want to pull my leg off? Ef you tech that strap again I'll come down and bay-window yer coun tenances." Again the stage rolled on. "Permit me, sir," said the clergy man, pulling out a very thin pocket book that looked as if it had gone into a decline, a decline to pay anything and presenting fifteen cents. " I don't want your money," was the gruff response ; " I want my own, and I'm going to have it," and he seized the stray at the moment the hook-nosed old lady, who resembled a hawk in delicate health, seized it. The feminine hook nose wanted to get out. The driver made no response. In an instant the fat man, the clergyman, and old lady were swinging on the strap. The strap suddenly gave way, as if it or the driver's leg were broken, and the three, tumbling over each other, fell to the bottom, amid roars of laughter from all of us. The stage came to a halt, and we heard the driver shout, " P'lice ! p"lice ! " loud as he could bawl. A po liceman responding, the driver informed him that there was " a riot" going on among the " lunatics " inside his stage, and " he'd better settle 'em before we had another car-hook murder." The policeman opened the door. The bel ligerents had subsided, save the old lady, who, attempting to get out, was promptly arrested. The fat man ex plained the case. "How is this, driver?" asked the policeman. " This man says he put a quarter in your box and you won't give him his change. " No ; I'd think not," was the dry re sponse ; " the way for nim to do is to file an affidavy with the Surrogate. It'll only cost him a dollar." There is but one course for a police man to pursue, and that is to arrest somebody. 11 he cannot arrest any one, he puts on a dignified air and marches away. In this case the conservator of the peace compromised. He arrested the old hook-nosed female party the only innocent actor among us and held her in durance as far as the sidewalk, and we rolled on. M. Qilsos, writing in the St. Peters burg Gazette upon the subject of pre cious stones, states that, owing to the plentiful supply of diamonds from South Africa, these much-prized gems are at a lower price than they have been for ten years. Pearls and emeralds are, however, at a premium. An opal about the size of an olive would bring about 1,200 roubles ; a sapphire about 1,800 roubles; an emerald, 10,000; a dia mond, 18,000 ; a ruby, 50,000. Pearls come from Central America, California and Persia, but none rival those of the East Indies. Signs of the Times. Away up in the northern section of the city there is a sign posted of which the following is a literal copy : "socks a stockings knitten Ripareing Neadly Done. Also PcU.icu.lar At tention Promptly Attended-to Order." In another part of the city we find a chance for a bargain thus announced : " Fur, Sail, Dis, Hans x Lat ; bai Franz Scheid an Cepuus St." Detroit Tribune. Sensible. " I would be glad to see more parents understand that when they spend money judiciously to im prove and beautify the house and grounds about it, they are paying their children a premium to stay at home as much as possible to enjoy it; but when they spend money unnecessarily on fine clothes and jewelry for their children, they aie paying them a premium to spend their time from home that is, in those places where they can attract the most attention and make the most display." SING MORE. Cultivate singing in the family. Be gin when the child is not yet three years old. The songs and hymns your mother sane, bring them all back to your mem ory, and teach them to your little ones ; the hymn and the ballad ; funny and devotional ; mix them together, to meet the similar moods, as in after life he come over us so mysteriously some times. Many a time and oft, in Broad way and Wall street, in the very whirl of business ; in the sunshine and gayety of Fifth avenue, and amid the splendor of the drives in the Central Park, some little thing wakes up the memories of early youth the old mill, the cool spring, the shady tree by the little schcol-house and the next instant we almost see again the ruddy cheeks, the smiling faces and the merry eyes of schoolmates, some gray headed now ; most "lie moldering in the grave." And anon, " the song my mother sang " springs unbidden to the iips, and sweet ens and soothes these memories. At other times, amid the crushing mishaps of business, a merry ditty of the olden time pops up its little head, breaks in upon the ugly train of thought, throws the mind into another channel ; light breaks in from behind the cloud in the sky, and a new cour age is given to us. The honest man goes singing to his work ; and when the day's labor is ended, his tools laid aside, and he is on his way home, wnere wife and child, and tidy table and cheery fireside await him, he cannot help but whistle and sing. The burglar never sings. Moody silence, not merry song, weighs down the dishonest tradesman, the perfidious clerk, the unfaithful servant, the per jured partner. A R USSIAN MILLIONAIRE. European gossips are discussing the fabulous wealth of a recently-risen millionaire a Russian Baron who has made an enormous sum of monev in Russian railroads. This gorgeous per son is said to possess an annual income of 15,000,000 francs, and ie consequent ly comfortably removed beyond the vulgar necessity of hurrying down to the store or office on a cold winter's morning without breakfast or gloves He carries in his train thirty servants, sixty musicians, sixteen Russian and Swedish singers, and an army of cooks and confectioners. He has an Oriental palace in every city of any size in Europe. Passing through the small Swiss canton of Tessin, he was struck by the exquisite beauty of the scenery, and, jabbing his gold-headed cane into the ground in a certain spot, ordered his servants to build him a palace there. Great millionaires like Monte Cristo do not trouble themselves with details, so the palace is going up rapid ly. The novelty of such a thing must have passed away. The Baron feels himself compelled every two years to clean out his household, by abandoning his residence, ordering a new set of servants, and wiping out all his ac quaintances, to supply their places with new ones. The poor man is miserably off after all. He is harassed with the belief that somebody is aiming to cir cumvent him and absorb his wealth, and consequently is less happy than the ill-paid employe who knows certainly that similar designs are entertained by his creditors. He has more to lose. KICKED OUT. Percy Smith and Ed Murphy occu pied a small cabin in Radusbury, Mon tana, and slept in different beds ; Per cy's bed was so situated that he could get into either side that is to say, it was placed in the center of the cabin, which Percy found very convenient on certain occasions. One night Percy and Ed had been in Captain Sparris trom's saloon, and on returning, which they did at early morning, both were considerably elevated. However, they walked up to the cabin with an air which seemed to say, Not so very darn ed drunk, after all, and sought long and patiently for matches and candle. After knocking the pitcher off the table, and smashing some cups, they finally gave up the search, and went to bed yes, yes, that is the word, but, owing to the darkness and the confusion of their senses, they made a slight mistake. In short, Percy's bed had the honor of re ceiving the two friends, Ed getting in on one side, and his companion on the other. " I say, Percy," cried Ed, touching somebody's calf, " there is a fellow in my bed." " Wonderful coincidence," exclaimed Percy, feeling a strange elbow in the region of his ribs ; " there is somebody in my bed, too." " Is there, though?" said Ed ; " let's kick them out." " Agreed," said Percy. And accordingly the friends began to kick. In about a minute Ed was sprawl ing on the floor, and Percy was left in possession of the bed. For a moment after the fall all was silent. "I say, Ed," cried Percy. " What ?" said Ed, sulkily. ' I have kicked my fellow out." " You are luckier than I am, then," said Ed, " for mine has kicked me clean on the floor." A sixth sense appears to have been discovered by Dr. C rum-Brown the sense of rotation. This distinguished physician thinks that we possess suoh a sense distinct from all other senses, whereby we are enabled to determine the axis about which the head is rotated aad the direction and rate of the rota tion. He has made a number of ex periments as to the existence of this supposed sense, by causing a blind-fold person to be slowly revolved upon a smoothly rotating table. The smoke of a match will bleach fruit stains off your hands. Jiivivi, I'KAfJTlVE IN WASHOE. Yesterday afternoon, at a saloon on the Divide, some men were discussing the shooting affray which occured dur .ing the morning between the two brothers-in-law, Fallman, and Ward, as mentioned in another column. It was agreed by all hands that it was shock ing bad shooting a discredit to Washoe. At last a I'ioche man ban tered a Comstock man, whom he knew to be a good shot with a pistol, to g out in the back yard with him and de some shooting, just to show the boys how it should be done. In the saloon was a box of eggs, and what the Piocher proposed was that each should shoot two eggs off the bare head of the other at the distance of ten paces, the one miss ing to treat the crowd. The Comstocker was bound not to be bluffed by a man from the other end of the State, so to the back yard all hands adjourned. Each man used his own six-shooter. The Comstocker first "busted" his egg on the top of the Piocher's head, which exploit was loudly applauded by aH present. It was then the Piocher's turn to shoot, and an egg was produced to be placed upon the head of the Com stocker, but when he removed his hat there was a great laugh, for the top of his head was as smooth as a billiard ball. For full ten minutes all hands tried in vain to make an egg stand on his head. It couldn't be done. The Piocher then taunted the Comstocker with having gone into the arrangement knowing that he was safe. The hitter told him to set up his egg and it was all right he was there. The Piocher went into the saloon and a moment after came out with a small handful of flour, which he dabbed upon the bald head of the Comstocker and then triumphantly planted in it his egg, fell back ten steps and then Knocked it off. The Com stocker then told him to set up his sec ond egg aud shoot at it, as he didn't want to have his head chalked twice during the game. This was done, and the wreck of a second egg streamed oVer the Comstocker's pate. The Piocher now stood out with his last egg on his head. The Comstocker raised his pistol and fired. The Piochor bounded a yard into the air and the egg bounced whole from his head. "I've lost I" said the Comstocker. " Let all come up and drink. By a slip I've put half the width of my bullet through the top of his left ear !" and so it proved upon measurement. Virginia Enter prise. SPIRIT PHOTOGRAPHS. Among the wonders of spiritual phe nomena is the ability to produce photo graphs of departed spirits. The fash ionable style of their works of art is to have a distinct photograph of the sitter, and an indistinct presentation of some departed guardian angel by the side. Quite recently a Chicago photographer, just for the fun of the thing, produced a few of these spirit pictures. They were readily received as genuine pho tographs of ghosts, and for awhile he did a lively business. Finding, how ever, that he was making an unfortunate change in his customers, he stopped practicing this branch of his art and published the following : " The writer had his attention called some time since, to certain phenomena called ' spiritual manifestations,' and having frequently seen sample of what purported to be spirit photographs, he conceived the idea of making a few samples, to see if the ghosts would be recognised as de parted friends of the sitters. The mo dus operandi of the production is as follows : Have a positive transparency at hand, and, after the sensitized plate has been exposed to the sitter, in the camera, remove to the dark closet, and print the ghost on it by holding the positive transparency between the plate and a gas jet or lamp (not a ' spirit ' lamp), then develop the plate in the usual way, and the picture of the sitter will come out strong with a shadowy ghost or spirit in the background." SUMMARY JUSTICE. If women go on progressing as rapid ly as they have progressed during the last twenty years, it will be sheer sar casm to dub them the " weaker sex." So thinks an unhappy Western man, who married a widow for her money, and on the wedding night possessed himself of the treasure and struck out. Unluckily for him his wife's daughter, an active girl of twenty, observed the theft and departure. Giving chase, she overtook her papa, threw him down, tied him to a tree and corrected him with a hickory stick. Presently the bride appeared and joined her daughter in the castiga tion. The piteous cries of the unhappy groom soon reached the ears of the police, who hurried to the spot. Tied to the roots of the tree was the husband of only a few hours' creation ; the step daughter, stick in hand, was still ad ministering punishment, while the bride used both hands to good purpose while she clamored for her money. The case was compromised by the return of the cash, but the honeymoon was over. As Bob Bascom, a negro murderer, stood upon a gallows at Bolivar, Ten nessee, the other day, he said, " Don't let the devil work with you. H I had worked for God as I have; worked for the devil, I would not be here in this fix to-dav. That is all I have to say." And what more, we may ask, did the great Wolsey say, as he approached the end that awaited him ? Hid I but served my God with half the seal I served my king, He would not in mine age Have left me naked to mine enemies." The dramatist and the historian have united in handing down to posterity this exclamation of the fallen cardinal, but the same moral truth uttered in homely garb by the doomed murderer dies with him. The sentiment is the same ; the difference in expression is the difference between a cardinal and a culprit, a poet and a penny-a-liner. ABILITY OF FA It ME US TO HOLD THEIR WHEAT. Those Eastern papers which have wisely refrained from attacking our estimates and calculations on the wheat crop base their expectation of low prices upon a presumption that farmers are obliged to sell their wheat whether the price is remunerative or not. They are sadly mistaken here. For the sake of brevity we will catalogue our reasons for believing the farmers of the North west able to hold their wheat : 1. Farmer. , - - of late years had good crops and good pricas, and are better off than they ever were before. 2. Farmers were never before so little in debt. They have been economizing for a year or more, as the experience of New York merchants in all trades will testify. The best work of the grange has been to teach them to without, and to keep clear of debt. 3. Farmers ore now realizing a. re markably good price on all the coarse grains. Wnat dents they have they can way. 4. Farmers have learned also from the grange movement the power of as sociation. They will stand together. The rich farmer will help the poor farmer to hold his grain for a paying, price. As we lately stated, it is com mon in country banks just now for ac counts from rich farmers to be trans ferred to poor farmers to enable them to pay their store bills and to hold their wheat. So what debts they have they are paying, and wili pay without using their wheat. 5. Farmers, as a matter of fact, are paying their debts about as freely as usual. Reports to the contrary are false. Country merchants who have obtained full stocks of goods for which they find little demand, are unjustly throwing the blame on the farmers.. The farmer is not to blame for not buy ing what he does not want or what he cannot pay for. 6. Farmers, as a matter of fact, are amply able to carry over the whole crop of 1874 for a year, or for more than a year. During the past spring and sum mer they have disposed cf about 2,500, -000 bushels of corn the bulk of three years' crops at about 50 cents at the crib. They are, therefore, rich. Fur thermore, it stands to reason that a community which was able to carry over 1,100,000,000 bushels of corn from 1871, and 1,000,000,000 from 1872, to sell at an advance of over 300 per cent, in 1874, is able enough to carry 400, 000,000 bushels of wheat one yea In view of these considerations we are satisfied that the only way is for the few powerful speculators who have tackled the wheat market on the wrong side to throw up their game. The cards are too strong for them, and the farmers hold the cards. Milwaukee Journal of Commerce. THE JOURNALISTIC SMALL BOY. Some juvenile journalists in San Francisco, emulating the examples of their older brethren, have varied the monotony of their amateur sheets by offensive personalities which have re sulted in a libel suit. The editor who caused the arrests of his rivals was only fourteen years of age. He wa. at one time associated with them in the publi cation of the JPac'ftc Youth, but break ing with them, started a new Pacific Youth at a low rate, the older journal being conducted by a chubby child of twelve. His former associates retali ated by publishing two vindictive sheets called the Growler and the I 'in dicator, in which the character of their rival was most savagely assailed. Not content with this, one of their piyrmie ons attacked him in the rooms of the Pacific Coast Amateur Press Associa tion, of which he was President. The following extract from the alleged libel gives a good idea of the success with which the juvenile amateur imitated the style of some of his professional brethren : " Were the room at our dis posal, we could give accounts of theft, lying, misrepresentation, cowardice, and blackmail schemes of this foul-mouthed slanderer. But it is not his reputation which is at stake ; the only reputation he has is that of a liar, thief, and cow ard. His reputation he earned at school, and he has carried it from the desk and school-yard to the office and into Bociety. And the haflred for him by all who have ever associated with him is great and unexceptionable." On the case being brought into court, it was attempted to be shown by the coun sel for the defense that the offensive words were to be considered in a Pick wickian sense. He thought the boys should be spanked and allowed to go,, as they belonged to good families and had promised to discontinue their jour nalistic excesses, but Jhe opposing counsel urged that it would not be fair to allow them to go free because they did not happen to be hoodlums. The court decided that there was clearly a libel, and held the boys for trial, so that these amenities of juvenile jour nalism will result in litigation, which will, we trust, be an expensive warning, to other amateur editors not to imitate the bad qualities of their professional brethren. The Chicago Ledger -is one of the cheapest papers published (the other one being the Literary Reporter, of course) in the country. Mr. Bonner will have to look oat or his Chicago namesake will "cut his corners" won derfully. See how cheap it is in our kst. Same size as the "other Ledger" and Reporter. Michigan Literary Re porter, t The Vermont ScpremeXJourt has de cided that a citizen cannot refuse to testify for whom he voted. If all good came to us in this world,, who would care for heaven?