The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, October 16, 1874, Image 2

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    rtTBLlSITSO ETEEf RAT UttIJA Y BY
COLL. VAN CLKVE.
ALBANY,
OREGON.
Tff WORKING PEOPLE OF PARIS.
denizens of Paris, says the correspond
ent of the London Era, are furnished
by that indefatigable explorer, M.
Maximo du Camp. It appears, then,
that even in this gay city there are no
less than 816,000 working people ; one
half of these are women a fact that
proves that the fair sex of Paris are not
lazy. The rag-picking profession has
fallen off since the Commune, and now
numbers only 6,000. There are seven
large houses whose commerce consists
entirely in the purchase and sale of old
postage stamps. We have also fifty-one
dealers in false hair, and 1,158 barbers
and hairdressers, who in 1872 sold no
less than 102,000 kilogrammes of chign
ons, a kilogramme is equal to two
pounds. " This article of modern toil
et," says the writer, " is becoming so
difficult to find that agents have been
sent out to China to buy np the tails of
the poor." Of flower-makers there are
3,000, and, owing to the Imperial rage
for violets, the number of that political
emblem sold last year rose to 0,000,000.
The employers or patrons figure at S9,
000, and some idea of their lionorability
may be gathered from the fact that
there were only 1,862 bankruptcies and
insolvencies last year. Among the so
called liberal professions are 1,S78
learned and literary men ; 9,420 sculp
tors, painters, and actors, of the latter
2,058 are ladies, A touching fact among
this sea of figures is that, whereas the
literary gentlemen have only 800 do
mestics, they support by the work of
their brain no legs than 2,258 persons,
chiefly parents. Of doctors we have
1,726, which is about one to every 1,000
inhabitants. Behind this medical army
come 100 somnambulists, 561 midwives,
628 herborists, and 734 apothecaries.
Next, Paris comprises 16,256 landlords
and 54,872 retired tradesmen, whose
fortune, in the majority of cases, is the
result of early perseverance, privation
and economy. M. Maxime du Camp
contends that there is not a city in the
world where the people work more than
in Paris, in spite of the 300,000 idlers
on the boulevards, the 180 concert cafes,
the 238 public halls, the 25,000 wine
shops, and the 7,226 billiard-boards.
The workmen here are paid once a fort
night, on the Saturday. The week that
follows is invariably a dull one in the
shops, since the majority of the men
pay their devotions to " St. Lundi " un
til their pockets become empty, and i
they are forced to return to the bench
to replenish them. This is a fact which 1
should be borne in mind by those who
indulge in invidious comparisons be
tween the French ouvrier and the En
glish workman.
THE SCIENCE OF KISSING.
People will kiss. Yet not one in a
hundred knows how to extract bliss
from lovely lips, any more than they
know how to make diamonds from
1 charcoal. And yet it is easy, at least
for us. First,
ing to kiss. Don
although a mistake may be good.
Don't jump up like a trout for a fly,
and smack a woman on the neck or the
ear, or the corner of her forehead, or
on the end of her nose. The. gentle
xaan should be a little the taller. He
should have a clean face, a kind eye,
i and a mouth full of expression. Don't
kiss everybody. Don't sit down to it.
I Stand up. Need not be anxious about
getting in a crowd. Two persons are
I plenty to corner, and catch a kiss ;
more persons would spoil the sport.
Take the left hand of the lady in your
right ; let your hat go to any place out
of the way ; throw the left hand gently
over the shoulder of the lady, and let
it fall down the right side. Do not be
in a harry ; draw her gently, lovingly
to your heart. Her head will fall gent
ly on your shoulder, and a handsome
shoulder strap it makes. Do not be in
hurry. Her left hand is in your right ;
let there be an impression to that, net
like the gripe of a vice, but a gentle
clasp, full of electricity, thought and
respect. Do not be in a hurry. Her
head lies carelessly on your shoulder.
You sire heart to heart. Look down in
to her half-closed eyes. Gently, but
manfully, press her to yjpur bosom.
Stand firm. Be brave, but Won't be in
a hurry. Her lips are almost open.
Lean slightly forward with your head,
not the body. Take good aim ; the
lips meet ; the eyes close ; the heart
opens ; the soul rides the storms,
troubles, and sorrows of life (don't be
in a hurry) ; heaven opens before you ;
the world shoots under your feet, as a
meteor .passes across the evening sky
(don't be afraid) ; the heart forgets its
bitterness, and the art of kissing is
learned ! No fuss, no noise, no flutter
ing and squirming like hook-impaled
worms. Kissing don't hurt, nor does it
require an act of Congress to make it
legal.
A stobt is told concerning a storm on
Lake Erie, when one of the passengers
was bemoaning the critical state in
which the vessel and its' passengers
were then placed, and asked a friend
if the captain did not think the vessel
in great peril. The reply was that he
thought they would get through all
right if they could keep out in deep
water. "Why," said the terrified one,
" can't we drown just as well in deep
water as we can in shallow?" "Yes,"
was the reply, "but then you know if
we keep in deep water when the vessel
rolls over the masts won't stick fast in
the mud on the bottom and hold us
down."
South Bend embraces a farmer who
ells a ton of honeya year.
BUTCHERS' MEAT.
An interesting light, says the Pall
Mall Gazette, is thrown on the myster
ies of the slaughter-house by a memo
rial just presented by Dr. Yeld, Medi
cal Officer of Health for Sunderland, to
the Health Committee of that town,
against the "blowing and stuffing of
meats. " The practice of ' ' blowing " is
described as follows : A tube or pipe
is thrust under the skin of the meat,
and the butcher or dresser then blows
the foul air of his own lungs into the
cellular tissue of the meat, the effect
being that a deceptive appearance of
plumpness or fatness is given to the
meat, and in many cases it becomes
tainted with the scent of rum, tobacco,
etc." This is pleasant for meat-consumers,
and, where ignorance is bliss,
it is perhaps folly to be wise ; and, now
that public attention has been called to
the " blowing " practice, it might per
haps be as well for butchers so far to
meet the wishes of the fastidious, as
to use a pair of bellows for the purpose
of giving a graceful embonpoint to the
carcasses of animals they kill. Even for
their own s'akes they will act prudently
by discontinuing the use of the lungs
in the process. Dr. Yeld also protests
against the practice of artificially stuffing
the loins or other parts of the animal
so cz to sivo a false appearance of cor
pulence. As a remedy he suggests the
imposition of a fine for every such of
fense of 20 shillings for the first, and
40 shillings for each subsequent convic
tion. His suggestions were adopted
unanimously by the Health Committee,
at Sunderland, and it is to hoped that
not only in that town, but elsewhere,
artificial fatness will at least be pro
duced by less disagreeable means than
those mentioned by Dr. Yeld.
HEREDITARY MANIA FOR SUICIDE.
In his remarkable work, "Mind and
Body," Dr. Maudsley gives many curi
ous instances of hereditary mania ex
hibiting itself in various ways, but we
do not remember such a case of heredit
ary mania for suicide as that lately men
tioned by the Paris Evenement. A few
weeks ago some boatmen on the Seine
discovered in the water the body of a
man, whose pockets were full of peb
bles, and who appeared to have been in
the water several days. He proved to
be a M. Jules Delmas, who was regard
ed as very happy in his domestic and
other relations. A few evenings before.
he and his wife had gone out shopping
on'the Boulevard Batignolles, and were
on their way home, when, as if struck
by a sudden thought, Delmas said,
"Oh, look here, I have somewhere to
go, and it's a long way, so there is no
good in your coming with me ; you can
go home ;" and left her. It grew late,
still he did not return. The following
jnorning a note arrived from him. She
seized it and read : "Forgive me, my
poor Margaret, I am going to cause you
one more vexation, but at all events it
will be the last. I go to rejoin my
father and mother." The father was
killed by throwing himself from an
omnibus ; the mother by throwing her-
sell from a window ; the sister suffoca
ted herself.
know whom yqjj are go
Don't make a mistake,
THE NATIVE STATES OF INDIA.
A Calcutta newspaper has lately been
"taking stock" of the native states of
India, by way of inclusion of their
statistics in the next decennial census
of tqe empire. There are no fewer than
153 states, great and small, reckoned as
feudatories of the government of India ;
and, excluding Berar and Mysore, which
are temporarily under English adminis
tration, the total area of the country
governed by native rulers is 565,106
square miles, with an estimated popu
lation of 48,000,000. Including Berar
and Mysore, there is a native-ruled
population of 55,000,000, paying to its
chief a revenue of 15,Q0O,0O0 per an
num, while the 184,000,000 of people
inhabiting 830,000 square miles of ter
ritory directly under British rule,
contribute a revenue of 50,000,000 per
annum. Upon this latter income, of
course, is charged the cost of keeping
the peace of the empire at large ; for
the 153 native states are relieved from
the obligation of sharing in the burdens
of public order and external security,
while they enjoy the benefit of both at
the expense of the taxpayers who are
directly subject to the Viceroy. It is
true that the native princes pay some
trifling, sums as tribute to the para
mount power ; but they amount te less
than three-quarters of a million a year,
while the allowances made by the gov
ernment of India to the same princes
chargeable ori the revenue nrovided ex
clusively by our own taxpayers,
amount to an annual sum of 1,-750,000.
DIGESTIVE POWERS OF A SAILOR'S
STOMACH.
An American sailor named John Cum-
mings died in 1808, in Guy's Hospital,
London, under the care of Dr. Currie
The post mortem examination verified
his statements, which the doctors could
scarcely believe, that his disease was
due to his repeated exploits of swallow
ing knives, from the effects of which he
had been sick for three years. The first
time he swallowed fourteen knives, be
came sick, but recovered, and com
menced again, betting from time to time
on his bravado exploits. While a pris
oner on an English ship, in 1805, .he
swallowed seventeen knives in two sue
cessive days ; but this appears to have
been too much, and after long suffering
he died.
Fourteen of the knives were found in
his stomach, but, strange to say, .partly
digested, the iron parts as well as the
horn handles ; the silver mounting, how
ever, were scarcely touched. The stom
ach itself was not at all injured ; he had
a good appetite to the last, and his sick
ness and death were alone caused by the
haft of a large knife becoming fixed
across the intestines. This shows that
the gastric and other juices of a healthy
stomach have the power to dissolve not
only horn and bone, but even iron and
steel, but not silver.
Mr.
county,
DID NOT FORGET.
Larimer, lately of Costillo
Colorado, was a fast young
man so he came to Washington to get
an office. Like many dissipated young
men, he did not succeed. So he went
to the bad. While on his way to the
latter end, and just as he was about to
finish up, he was accidentally encount
ered by Mr. Waldo A. Blossom, a gen
tleman of means and good social posi
tion, who saw in the young fellow some
good traits, and after a brief chat took
him to his own house, treated him
kindly, put him on his self-respect, and
finally succeed in bring him back to the
ways that were good. He took the
course of empire. Soon afterward Mr.
Blossom removed to Jacksonville, Fla. ,
and heard no more of Larimer for
for twenty years. But last winter some
one sent him a Colorado advertisement
signed "Larimer," calling for informa
tion of Blossom. Besult : Larimer
had died. He had settled in Colorado,
and applied himself incessantly to busi
ness, never married, got very rich, and
bequeathed the whole nearly a million
of dollars to the benefactor who was
so good to him in Washington. All
true. Mr. Blossom takes legal posses
sion of his new fortune during the pres
ent month.
OUR TOES.
Beyond question, we abuse our toes.
They are intended in the first place to
give flexibility to the foot, and help us
in our walking ; but the modern custom
of cramping them up in tight shoes
makes them almost as immovable as if
they grew together. So the help they
give is not so much after all. And as for
putting them to any other use, we never
think of it. We cramp and torture
them out of all likeness to their origi
nal state. Who, for instance, could
imagine that the second toe was in
tended to be longer than the first?
And yet, in a perfectly formed foot, it
always is, though we are obliged to go
to statues and paintings to it find out.
And who, putting a foot and a narrow
toed shoe side by side, would ever sus
pect that they were intended for each
other? The fact is, our toes are our
most abused members, and so we don't
get half the good from them that we
might. The Chinese and the Japanese
and Bedouin Arabs, it is said, from con
tinual practice, use their toes almost as
well as their hands. Arabs braid ropes
with their fingers and toes working in
concert. Why, then, should we dis
pense with the use of these natural
aids?
SQUELCHING A LEGAL BULLY.
The following is old it must be, for
I heard it a long time ago ; and, if it
has been in print, it will bear nrintinc
again :
There was, five and twenty years ago,
an attorney practicing in our courts,
named Boonton. Had he been on the
frontier he would have been either a
blood-letter or an arrant coward, I
don't know which, but here he was
simply a noisy, coarse-grained bully ;
and his chief delight was to badger and
bully witnesses of the opposing coun
sel on the stand.
One day a horse case was on trial, in
which Boonton was for the defendant.
By and by counsel for the plaintiff
called a witness who was supposed to
be something of a horse-doctor. He
was a middle-aged, easy, good-natured
man, clad in homespun, whose bronzed
brow and hard hands betokened sweat
and toil. His testimony, which was
clear, simple, and direct, made things
look dark for the defendant, and when
Boonton got hold of him he proceeded
to erosa-question him in his usual
brutal manner. Said cross-examination
wound up rather abruptly as follows :
"Well, now," demanded the counsel,
with a tomahawk -like flourish, "what
do you know about a horse, anyway ?
Do you really profess to be a horse-doctor
f"
"No, sir, not exactly. I don't pro
fess to be a horse-doctor, but I know a
good deal about the nater of the beast. "
"That is," cried Boonton, glaring
first at the witness and then smiling at
the jury, nodding graciously to the
Court, and sweeping a triumphant glance
over the audience "that is to say, sir
you know a horse from a jackass when
you see them?"
"Ah ya-as jes' so," returned the
witness, with imperturbable good humor
and gravity, "between the tivo beasts 1
should never take you for the horse .'"
For once in hi& life, at least, the bully
was effectually squelched, and amid the
wild roar which followed he threw him
self into his seat and allowed the wit
ness to leave the stand. New York
Ledger.
LIGHT WITHOUT MATCEHS.
To obtain light instantly without the
use of matches and without the danger
of setting things on fire, take an ob
long phial of the whitest and clearest
glass ; put in it a piece of phosphorus
about the size of a pea, upon which
pour some olive oil, heated to the boil
ing point, tilling the phial about one
third full and then seal the phial her
metically. To use it, remove the cork
and allow the air to enter the phial, and
then recork it. The empty space in
the bottle will then become luminous,
and the light obtained will be equal to
that of a lamp. As soon as the light
grows weak its power can be increased
by opening the phial and allowing a
fresh supply of air to enter. In winter
it is sometimes necessary to heat the
phial between the hands to increase the
fluidity of the oil. Thus prepared, the
phial may be used for six months. The
contrivance is now used by the watch
men of Paris in all magazines where
explosive and inflammable materials are
used.
PREPAID NEWSPAPER POSTAGE.
Daring the last days of the last ses
sion of Congress was passed a law au
thorizing the prepayment of postage on
newspapers and other publications, par
ticularly periodicals, upon some simple
system to be devised by the Postoffice
Department. In order to expedite
matters the Postmaster General was
specially directed to prepare some plan.
The work was placed in the hands of
Third Assistant Postmaster General
Barber, with fall authority, subject
only to the revision of the Postmaster
General. General Barber at once set
to work, and puzzled himself for some
time before he devised a plan, which he
has now partially arranged. While the
system is completed, all the details are
jiot yet finished. New stamps have yet
to be devised, and General Barber will
consider them before returning to
Washington, and obtain estimates for
having them printed. The system he
has devised is simple. It provides for
the preparation of receipt books by the
department fer each publisher ot a
newspaper or periodical. The form of
receipt will be somewhat as follows :
(Kame of Newspaper.) X". . Name of P. O.
Date.
No. .
amount
Stamps.
Received dollars and
cents postage on lb.
newsx'aper publications
at two cents per lb.
Peat master.
The receipt book will be retained at
the postolhce, where the newspapers
will be weighed. The stubs of, the re
ceipt book will serve as a memoranda
to the postoffice of sums paid, from
which returns to the General Depart
ment are made. The stamping of papers
in bulk will not require more than four
stamps of different denominations to
make up the amount of postage paid by
the publishers on any package, what
ever that amount may be. Even on a
ton of newspaper matter, on which the
postage will be g40, only the four stamps
will be required to make up the amount
of . postage paid. This stamp system
has been devised, as the act of Congress
requires the use of adhesive stamps.
The stamps will be affixed to the stub
of the receipts by the postoffice clerk,
land then canceled. Thus the publisher
will be saved the trouble of buying and
affixing stamps. After the law goes
into effect he will simply take his re
ceipts and hold them as evidence that
the postage was paid. General Barber
expects to save by this system of pay
ment thousands of dollars to the Treas
ury Department every year, besides
saving the department and publishers
much labor.
CHOLERA.
Since the cholera first visited Europe
and America, little improvement has
been made, save in the more skillful use
of those remedies which early experience
suggested. Yet if we may credit recent
reports from India, a colonial physician
has hit upon a more excellent means of
relief than has been derived by the pro
fession in Christendom. Dr. Hall, who
is credited with the discovery of the
new mode of treatment, believed that a
sedative rather than a stimulating proc
ess is required, and accordingly ad
ministered hypodermic injections of
hydrate of chloral. These results have
been successful in many cases, even
where the patient had reached the stage
of collapse. Sedatives taken into the
stomach appear to have little value,
but one of the physicians who has
adopted Dr. Hall's plan, says that he
has saved eighty-two per cent, of his
cases. Dr. Hall's mode of procedure
has been published at length in the
official organ f the Indian Government,
and the statement will no doubt be re
produced ere long in the medical peri
odicals of America and Europe.
William sport, Perm., has a citizen
who will allow any one to crack walnuts
on his head, for a consideration.
MARRIAGES OF BLOOD RELATIONS.
Statistics presented to the French
Accademy show that the marriages of
blood relations form about two per
cent, of all the marriages in France,
and that the deaf and dumb offspring
at birth, of consanguineous marriages
are, in proportion to the deaf and dumb
born in ordinary wedlock, at Lyons, full
twenty-five per cent. ; at least twenty-
five per cent, in Paris, and thirty per
cent, in Bordeaux the proportions of
the deaf and dumb, by birth, increasing
with the degree of blood relationship.
The data obtained show that, if the
danger of having a deaf and dumb
child in ordinaay marriage, represented
by figures, is one, there will be eighteen
in marriages between first cousins,
thirty-seven between uncles and nieces,
and seventy in marriages between
nephews and aunts. It appears, too.
that the most healthy parents, if related
in blood, may have deaf and dumb
children.
HOW TO TRAIN CHILDREN.
In the training of a little girl great
pains should be taken to discover what
special gift or talent she has, if any,
and, whatever her circumstances, to fit
her for its use. Even putting the
money value of such art or accomplish
ment out of the question, its aid as a
resource and strengthener is incalcula
ble. Disappointment and grief come
more easily to women than men ; they
abide with them longer, and sap more
of their life away, simply because they
need the tonic of hard enjoyable work
not the mere drudgery of the bread
winner, but the toil of the artist. Pride,
philosophy, even religion, cannot give
the new vitality which such work be
stows on the faithful votary. It repairs
bodily and mental forces like nature
itself, slowly, imperceptibly, surely.
The father and mother who can find in
their daughter such power, and give to
her the means of using it, may count
themselves happy, and her the inher
itor of a royal heritage.
A SOMNAMBULISTS WALK.
A somnambulistic sensation caused a
flutter of excitement in Tarrytown, N.
Y., recently.
About 4:30 in the morning, Mrs.
Navans, the wife of a well-known man
ufacturer, owning a villa a mile and a
half above the town, awakening sud
denly, found her liege lord absent from
her side.
As, although 61 years of age, he was
known to be given to walking in his
sleep, she raised an alarm, and, a search
being made by the two sons of Mr.
Navans, the missing husband was found
up to his neck in water in a disused
cistern, and clinging to a cross bar for
support. He was very much exhausted,
and could not have held out much
longer, but revived on being rescued
and cared for. To get to that precari
ous situation he had walked three hun
dred and ten feet on a ledge of wood
but two inches wide, covering the top
of the grape-arbor that ran from the
back of the house to the barn. Al
though he had safely accomplished this
feat, on reaching the end of the struc
ture, at which was the cistern, he had
fallen off, and the covering of the cis
tern being much decayed was received
into the water. The shock of the fall,
combined with the coldness of the ele
ment in which he was thus suddenly in
troduced, awoke him.
"JACOB KISSED RACHEL."
The following are the " Opinions of
the English Press " upon the subject of
the text which tells you that Jacob
kissed Rachel and lifted up his voice
and wept :
If Bach el was a pretty girl, and kept
her face clean, we can't see what Jacob
had to cry about. Daily Telegraph.
How do you know but that she slap
ped his face for him. Ladies Treasury.
Weeping is not unfreqnently pro
duced by extreme plea rare, joy, happi
ness ; it might, have been so in Jacob's
case. Hardwick's Science Gossip.
The cause of Jacob's weeping was the
refusal of Bachel to allow him to kiss
her again. Nonconformist.
It is our opinion tnat Jacob wept be
cause he had not kissed Rachel before,
and he wept for the time he had lost.
The City Press.
The fellow wept because the girl did
not kiss him. Pall Mall Gazette.
Jacob wept because Rachel told him
" to do it twice more," and he was
afraid to. Methodist Recorder.
Jacob cried because Rachel threatened
to tell her mamma. Sunday Gazette.
He wept because there was only one
Rachel to kiss. Clerkenwell News.
He wept for joy because it tasted so
good. Jewish Chronicle.
We reckon Jacob cried because Rachel
had been eating onions. British
Standard.
Our own opinion is, that Jacob wept
because he found after all "it was not
half what it was cracked up to be."
New Zealand Examin-her.
A mistake not his eyes but his mouth
watered. The Ladies' Chronicle.
He thought it was a fast color, but
wept to find the paint came off. Fine
Art Gazette.
He remembered he was her uncle and
recollected what the prayer-book says.
Church Journal.
He was a fool and did not know what
was good lor mm. jsngitsnwoman s
Adviser.
He knew there was a time to weep
it had come, and he dare not put it off.
Methodist News.
He thought she might have a big
brother. Sporting Chronicle.
Because there was no time for an
other. Express.
When he lifted up his voice he found
it was heavy, and could not get it so
high as he expected. Musical Notes.
He tried to impose on her feelings
because he wanted her to lend him five
shillings. Baptist Guide.
Rachel noticed that Jacob's was a
"paroxysmal kiss," and terrified him
by threats of " investigation."
SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE.
your furniture with linseed
HEALTHY WORK.
The Indianapolis Herald says
"Mrs. Jipe, of Greasy Point, 111., after
sawing a cord of wood, digging five
bushels of potatoes, milking twenty
cows, carrying ten tuDS oi water, and
doing a washing of ten dozen pieces, in
centally mentioned being tired. Mr.
Jipes read to her from a newspaper :
' I believe that nothing would tend so
effectually to get rid of these creatures'
weariness, and that over-stimulation of
the emotions, as a fair share of healthy
work directed toward a definite object.'
Just here a can of royal baking powder
struck him in the abdomen. Following
this came a stove-lid, three pancakes, a
rotten tomato, salt cellar, bowl of but
termilk, and all the dough for Thurs
day's baking. It was evident she con
sidered her lord a definite object,' and
the fair share of work directed toward
him was a little healthier than he would
have desired."
HOW TO
1. Rub
oil, and preserve carefully the old
greasy rags used for this purpose, in a
paper box in an out-of-the-way place.
2. If the fire in the stove does not
burn well, pour benzine or kerosene on
it from a well filled gallon can.
3. When you light your cigar or gas
throw the burning match no matter
where and don't look after it, even if
it gets into the waste-paper basket.
4. Put a burning candle on the shelf
of a closet and forget all about it.
5. Always read in bed until you fall
asleep with the candle burning near you.
6. Especially for builders : Put the
ends of the wooden beams into the flue
walls ; and if you build hot-air furnaces
be careful to use as much wood as pos
sible in their construction.
7. Always buy the cheapest kerosene
you can get. The Builder.
Living: Telegraph Poles. A cor
respondent of the Scientific American
suggests that telegraph companies
plant trees on which to hang their
wires. " In most sections of the coun
try the tree first planted would cost
but little more than a pole, and after
two or three years in growth would be
a permanent pole which will not rot at
the bottom or need re -setting, and
would be seldom struck by lightning.
Having many times Been from three to
a dozen poles, in a row, shivered by a
charge of electricity running along the
wires, the above question arose in my
mind."
There are only sixty churches in Ber
lin, Prussia.
A PERSEVERING MAID.
The divinity that doth shape our ends
is curiously exemplified in a story com
ing from England. In that country,
recently, a mechanic having vainly ex
ercised all his ingenuity in endeavor
ing to get him a wife, advertised in a fit
of despair. He was profoundly in ear
nest, and so was the dame who respond
ed. They met, but whether it was the
color of her hair, or the shape of her
nose, or her disposition, it is not said
but he didn't fall a captive to her
charms. He advertised again, varying
the form of his announcement, and
when he had an answer, went to see his
correspondent with a heart beating high
with-hope. Alas ! he found the equally
persevering spinster again. A third
time he wooed fate with a yet differently
worded beguilement. He reached the
appointed place of meeting 'twas she !
Crushed to the earth and convinced,
like Mr. Swiveller, that destiny was full
of staggerers, he smiled, he conversed,
and meekly at last wedded the deter
mined woman.
A DARKENED LIFE.
In Nashua, N. H., resides a young
girl, whose pitiful lot excites the deep
est sympathy, yet for whom sympathy
can do but little in alleviation of the
sad misfortune which has darkened
her Life. When a child she was terri
bly scalded about the head and face,
and although she survived her injuries,
she was thenceforth disfigured for life,
and the rosy face of childhood was
changed to a mask a travesty on the
human countenance absolutely fright
ful in its hideousness. In Lowell,
Mass., where she once lived, so. great
was the horror excited by her appear
ance that she was forbidden by the au
thorities to show herself on the streets.
At Nashua she ventured out the other
day, and several ladies fainted at sight
of her, and a call is now mac" e upon the
authorities of that place to forbid her
appearance in the streets. What a
mournful fate is hers ? To live through
the terrible physical suffering only to
endure henceforward a keener mental
anguish in the knowledge that she is a
thing of horror to be abhorred and
shunned by human kind, with no hope
in the future except the grave which
shall hide her deformities from the
gaze of her fellow beings.
CHAMPION OF THE Win
For some time past a Canada negro
has been walking around the Central
Market and " blowing " how many mel
ons he could eat in a given time. It
was known that he was pretty heavy on
melons, and the American darkeys had
to take a back seat and bide their time,
Thursday evening a steamboat fireman,
called "Black Betsy," stopped off here,
where he lives, and he happened around
the market yesterday morning just when
" Tall Jack," of Canada "wrs blowing
his hardest. " Talking 'boujjiebins,'
sung out "Betsey," "'bout eating:
meluns ! Why, sir, I kin eat more
meluns than tany two niggers in Ken
nedy ! " The terms were soon ar
ranged, each contributed half a dollar,
and the dollar bought eighteen fair
sized musk and watermelons. They
were carried over o a shady spot on
Bates street and divided into two piles,
and it was agreed that the one who
failed to eat his nine, or who quit first,
should pay for all. Both men took off
their coats, unbuckled their straps, and
went to business. Talk 'bout eating
meluns ! " sneered Betsy, as he ripped
one in two and made' six mouthfuls of
it "Yes, talking 'bout meluns
umph ! " replied Jack, slinging away a
heap of rinds. Neither of the con
testants paid any attention to water
melon seeds, eating them down, and the
interior of a muskmelon was raked out -at
one handful. Neither faltered until
after the fourth melon, when the Cana
dian began to pick out the seeds and go
slow. His friends rallied him, and he
got into the sixth melon as Betsey fin
ished his seventh, "Whoa! boy F
what ails ye ? " shouted the crowd, as
Tall Jack looked despairingly around
and nibbled once or twice at his sev
enth. He managed to gulp down half
of it, and then leaned back against the
fence, slowly pulled out half a dollar,
handed it over, and remarked, " Some
how I doesn't feel like eating meluns-to-day
! " Betsy tossed away the rinds
of the eighth, bit open and went through
the ninth, and as he reached over and
took the largest one from the other pile
he yelled: "Meluns! Meians Tell
'em to keep dat street-car team out of
de way of dese rinds ! Detroit Free-Press.
The statement floating about in the
papers to the effect that " a jealous In
dianapolis woman has just, made her
thirteenth ineffectual attempt at suicide, "
reminds me of the case of Mrs. Baker,
of Harrisburg. She attempted to poison
herself twenty-three times, but was al
ways saved by the judicioususe of a
stomach pump, by her friends. She was
life, and hope, and comfort, and bread
and butter to the newspaper reporters,
and they thought so much of her that
at last they got her up a little testimo
nial in the shape of a silver-plated
stomach pump, with a gutta percha
piston and bell-metal valves, inscribed
with the sentiment, "May-she never
succeed !" Some of her friends gave a
little collation at the time, and, after it
was eaten, somebody proposed to test
thje apparatus on one of the reporters..
They say that the meeting then ad
journed suddenly. Max Adelcr.
NICKNAMES OF AMERICAN CITIES,
The principal cities in the American
Union have from time to time received
various nicknames. For example, New
York is called Gotham ; Boston, the
Modern Athens, also the Hub ; Phila
delphia, the Quaker City; Baltimore,
the Monumental City ; Cincinnati, the
Queen City ; New Orleans, the Crescent
City ; Washington, the City of Magnifi
cent Distances ; Chicago, the Garden
City ; Detroit, the City of the Straits ;
Cleveland, the Forest City ; Pittsburgh,
the Iron City ; New Haven, the City of
Elms ; Indianapolis, the Railroad City;
St. Louis, the City of Mounds ; Keokuk,
the Gate City ; Louisville, the Falls
City ; Nashville, the City of Rocks ;
Quincy, the Model City ; Hannibal, the
Bluff City ; Alexandria, the Delta City;
Newburyport, the Garden of Eden ;
Salem, the City of Peace.
A BLOSSOM FROM SNOW.
At an altitude of four thousand feet
in the California sierras the traveler
finds, growing from the eternal snows
on the borders of the grim pine forests,
a gorgeous flower, sometimes measur
ing twenty-eight inches in length from
tip to root, and with a spike over a foot
long. The portion of the plant which
is visible above the soil is a bright rosy
crimson in color, and presents the very
strongest contrast to the dark green of
the pines and the " shimmer of the
snow." Its root is succulent, thick, and
abundantly free of moisture, attaching
itself to the roots of other plants, prin
cipally to the species of the pine family.
Hence, it is among those curious mem
bers of the vegetable world which are
known to botanists as parasites, and is
consequently entirely incapable of cul
tivation. The deer are extremely fond
of i and it is not an uncommon cir
cumstance to find a number of the
plants uprooted and'robbed of the fleshy
part of the underground growth by
these animals. It belongs to the natural
order Orobanchacea, and is met witn
through the whole of the sierra region,
becoming rarer as we approacn
South.
the
Berlin. The capital of the German
empire Berlin ranks now as the third
city in Europe in point of population,
and the first as regards rapidity of
growth. In 1832 Berlin only contained
238 000 people. On the first of De
cember, 1867, it contained 702,437 in
habitants ; and four years later, viz.
Dec. 1, 1871, i numbered 826,341. To
day including the garrison, it falls but
a few thousand short of one million
souls, thus ranking next after London
and Paris. Its growth is proceeding at
the rate of 50,000 per annum, requiring
yearly the construction of "5,000 new
buildings to accomodate them and their
business.
Mubat Halstead, of the Cincinnati
Commercial, was with the aUgust King
of Denmark at the Geysers in Iceland.
He .says : " Early yesterday morning
the King sought, with a towel on his
arm and a piece of soap in his fist, a
place to wash along one of the main
rivulets running from, the Geysers, but
there were so many of his followers
who had clearly not anticipated such a
disposition on his part to heTp himself
engaged in performing their ablutions
and arranging their toilets' by the
stream, that he was discouraged, and
retired unwashed to1 his tent ; and this.
morning, in absence Of other game, he
tried both barrels of his central fire
breech-loader on a flappy old raven that
flew, squawking like a malignant idiot,
over his tent, and eUd not !knoek a
feather out of the uncouth beast of a
bird."
The pen-knife extravagance has been
put a stop to by Postmaster-General
Jewell, and the contract canceled. Its
history is a good example of how small
public perquisites grow into abuses..
In the days of quill-pens knives were a
necessity, and were properly enough
furnished to the clerks of the depart
ment. Then somebody introduced the
custom of an annual distribution of
knives to clerks on New Year's day
This has grown into a regular: custom,,
and continued after steel and gold pens
had completely supplanted quills in the
use of the department. And'; so the
knife distribution, which at one time
was justifiable, continued long afterthe
cause for it was removed, and became a
petty abuse. Postmaster-General Jew
ell has done the right thing in suppress
ing it.
The railway which is soon to be con
structed from Naples to the top of
Mount Vesuvius will be about sixteen
miles long. From the city to the base
of the mountain fourteen miles or
dinary rails will be used, but for the
remainder of the way the system of
traction by iron rails will be adopted.
The terminus, which" will be within a
few steps of the cratej, will be sunk
twenty metres under thjp lava. In case
of eruption the current would thus be
turned away from the rail, which,
throughout its whole 'course, will be
raised above the level of the soil.
The editor of a Scandinavian paper
published in the West says that the
Scandinavian population, of the country
is nearly 500,000 ; Chicago alone hav
ing about 40,000.
Three companions with whom you
should always keep on. good terms
Your wife, your stomach, and your
conscience.