The Albany register., May 09, 1874, Image 1

L P Fisher
.i-innW'jwBu pop I 1 1 I MMII
VOLI MK VI
BctiriKK' Jrutii liiixiiif ss.
i;V BEKT UAinic.
What, the Colonel's business was
nobody knew, nor did anybody
'are, particularly, lie purchased
for cash only, and he never
grumbled at the price of anything
that be wanted; who could ask
more than that?
Curious people occasionally won
dered how, when it had been fully
two yea 11 'since the Colonel, with
every one els?, abandoned Duck
Creek to the Chinese, he managed
to spend money freely, and to lose
considerable at cards and horse
races, In fact, the keeper of that
one ot the two Challenge Hill
saloons which the Colonel did not
patronize was once heard to absent
mindedly wonder whether the Col
oriel hadn't a ,rnouoy mill some
where where he turned out double
eagles and ''slugs" (the coast name
for fifty-dollar gold pieces).
When so important a personage
as a bar-keeper indulged publicly
in an idea, the inhabitants of
Challenge Hill, like good Califbr
nians, everywhere, considered them
solved in duty bound to give grave
consideration, so tor a tew days
certain industrious professional gen
tlemen, who won money of the
Colonel, carefully weighed some of
the brightest pieces and tqsted them
with acids, and tasted them and
sawed them in tvo,aud retried them
and melted them itp and had the
lumps assayed.
The result was a complete vin
dication of the. Colonel, and a loss
of9nsiderable custom to the in
' discreet barkeeper.
The ( blonel was as good-natured
a man as had ever been known at
Challenge Hill; but, being mortal,
the Colonel had his occasional
times of despondency, and one of
them occurred after a series of races,
in which he had staked his all on
his own bay mare Tipsio, and lost.
hooking reproachfully at his
beloved uoinial, he failed to heed
the ncbing void of his pockets, and
drinking deeply, swearing elo
quently, and glaring defiantly at
all mankind, we j equally unpro
ductive of coin.
The boys at the saloon sympa
thized most feelingly with the
Colonel; they were unceasing in
their invitations to drink, and they
'.".en exhibited considerable, Chris,
tian fotfjearanee when the Colonel
savagely dissented with every one
who advanced any proposition, no
matter how incontrovertible.
Bui unappreciated sympathy
grows decidedly tiresome to the
giv r, and it w;is with a feeling of
relief that the boys saw the Colonel
stride out of the saloon, mount
Tipsio, and gallop furiously away.
Hiding on horseback has always
Ikxmi considered an excel lent, sort of
exercise; and last ruling is univer
sally admitted to lie one ot the most
healthful and delightful, means of
exhiliration in the world.
But when a man is so absorbed
in his exercise that he will not stop
to s)1eak to a friend; and when his
exhilaration is so complete' that he
turns his eyes from well-meaning
thumbs pointing significantly into
doorways through which a man has
often passed while seeking bracing
influences, it is hut natural that
people should express some wonder.
The Colonel was well known at
Toddy Flat, Lone Hand, Blazers,
Murderer's Bar and several other
villages through which he ssed,
and as no one had been seen to
precede him, betting men were soon
offering odds that the Colonel was
ruimig away from somebody.
Strictly speaking, they were
wrong, but they won All the money
MM J llllll I II III II
a i iiwimi iM iiiiMnnMimiii Mimimiw ii
that had lieen staked against them,
fbr within half an hour's time there
passed over the same road an
anxious-looking individual, who
reined up in trout of the principal
saloon of each place and asked if
the Colonel had passed.
Had the gallant Colonel known
that he was followed, and by
whom, there would have been an
extra election held at the latter
place very shortly after, fbr the
pursuer was the Constable of Chal
lenge hill, and for Constables and
all officers of the law the Colonel
possessed hatred of unspeakable
intensity.
On galloped the Colonel, follow
ing the stage road, which threaded
the old mining camp on Duck
Creek ; but suddenly he turned
abruptly out of the road, and urged
his horse through the pines and
bushes, which grew thickly by the
road, while the ( onstable galloped
rapidly on to the next camp.
There seemed to be no path
through the thicket into which the
Colonel had turned, but Tipsie
walked between the trees and
shrubs as if they were the familiar
objects of her own stable-yard.
Suddenly, a voice from the bushes
shouted : "What's up?"
"Business that's what," replied
the Colojtiel,
"It's time," replied the voice,
and its owner awarded six-footer
emerged from the bushes and
stroked Tipsie's nose with the free
dom of an old acquaintance. "We
ain't had a nip since last night,
and thai; ain't a cracker or a had
ful of flour in the shanty. The old
gal go back on yer?"
"Yes," replied the Colonel,
ruefully, "lost ev'ry blasted race
i wasn't her fault, bless her, she
done her level best. Ev'rybody to
home?"
"You bet," said the man. "All
been a' prayin' for yer to turn up
with the rocks, an' somethin' with
more color than spring water.
Come on."
Tbe man led the way and Tipsie
and the Colonel followed; and the
trio suddenly lbund themselves
before a small log hut, in front of
which sat three solemn, disconsolate
individuals, wholooked appealingly
at the Colonel.
"Mac'll tell yer how 'twas,
fcllars," said the Colonel, meekly,
"while I picket the mare."
The Colonel was absent but a
very few moments, but when he
returned each of the four were at
tired in pistols and knives, while
Mac was distributing some domi
noes; made from a rather dirty
ii 1. .
UOUr 1 ML; . n
" 'Taint so late ez all
it !" inquired the Colonel.
that, is
"Better Ik? an hour ahead than
miss it this 'ere night," said one ot
the four. "I aint been so thirsty
since I come 'round the Horn, in
'50, an' we run short of water
Somebody'!! get hurt, it the' ain't
any bitters on the old concern
they will, or my name ain't Per
kins." "Don't count on your chickens
'fore they're hatched," Perky," said
one ot the party, as he ad justed the
nomine under the run of his hat.
"8
posnr ther slnul be too many
"Stiddy, stiddy, Cranks!" re
monstrated the Colonel. "Nobody
ever gits along ef they 'low
.
erq-
selves to bo skecred."
"Fact," chimed in the smallest
and thinnest man of the party.
"The Bible says somethin' mighty
hot 'bout that. I tlisremembor
ezackly how it goes ; but I've
heerd "Parson Bnzzy, down in
Maine, preach a rippiu' old sermon
many a time. The old man never
thort what a comfort them sermons
wus a goin' to be to a road agent,
though. That time we stopped
Slim Mike's stage, an' he didn't
ALBANY, OREGON, MAY
I'"!" !!
hev no more manners than to draw
on me, them sermons wuz a perfect
blessin' to me the thought ot 'em
cleared my head as quick as acock
tail. An"
"I don't want to dispute Log
roller's pious strain," says the
Colonel; "but ez it's Old Black
that's a drivin' to-day iustid of
Slim Mike, an' ez Old Black oilers
makes his lime, hedn't we better
vamose ?"
The dor ot the shanty was
hastily closed and the men filed
through the thicket until near the
road, when they marched rapidly
on in parallel lines with it. After
about half an hour, Perkins, who
was leading, halted, and.wiped his
perspiring brow with his shirt
sleeve.
"Fur enough from home now,"
said he. '"Taint no use bein' a
gentleman ef yer have to work' too
Bard."
"Safe enough, I reckon," replied
the Colonel. " We'll do the usual ;
I'll halt 'em, Logroller 'tend to the
driver, Crank takes the boot, an'
Mack an' Perk takes right an' left.
-An, 1 know it s tongn but con
siderin' how everlastin', eternally
hp rd up we re, I reckon we'll have
to ask contributions from the ladies,
too, ef ther's any aboard he,
boys?
"Beckon so," replied Logroller,
with a chuckle that seemed to in
spire, even Ins black domino with a
merry twinkle. "What's the use
of women's rights ef they don't
ever have a chance ov exercisin'
'em? Hev in' their purses borrowed
'ud show 'em the hull doctrine in a
bran new light."
"They're treacherous witters,
women is," remarked Cracks;
"some of 'era might put a knife into
a feller while he wuz 'pologizin'."
"Ef you're afraid ov 'em," said
''erkins, "you ken go back an' clear
up the shanty.''
"Beminds me ov what the Bible
sez," said Logroller; ".'ther's a
lion on the trail; I'll be chawed
up, sez the lazy galloot, or words
to that effect."
"Come, come, boys," interposed .
the Colonel, "don't mix religion an'
bizness. They don't mix no more
than Hello, thar's the crack of old
Black's whip! Pick yer bushes,
quick I All jiynp when I whistle!"
Each man secreted himself along
the road-side. The stage came
swinging along handsomely ; those
inside were laughing heartily about
something, and old Black was jnst
giving a delicate touch to the flank
of the oil' leader, when the Colonel
gave a shrill, quick whistle, and
live men sprang into the road.
. The horses stopped as suddenly
as if it were a matter of common
occurence. Old Black dropped the
reins, crossed his legs and stared into
the sky, and the passengers all put
out their heads with a rapidity
equaled only by that which thoy
withdrew them as they saw the
dominoes and revolvers of the road
agents. ,
"Seems to be something the mat
ter, gentlemen," slid the Colonel,
blandly, as he opened the door.
"Won't yon please get out? Don't
trouble yourself to daw, 'cos my
friend here's got his weapon cocked,
an' his fingers is rather nervous.
Ain't got a handkerchief, hev yer ?"
asked he of the first passenger who
descended from the stage. "Hey ?
ell, now, that s lucky. Jnst put
yer hands behind ycu, please o ;
that's it." And the unfortunate
man was securely bound in au in
stant. The remaining) passengers were
treated with similar courtesy, and
the Colonel and, his friends ex-
amined the pockets Of the captives.
Old Black remained unmolested.
fbr who ever heart of a stage driyer
having money?
"Hoys," raid tl CofonI,caHmg
9, 1874.
his brother agents aside, and com
paring receipts, "tain't much ot a
haul ; but there's one woman, an'
she's old enough to be a feller's
grandmother. Better let her alone,
eh?
"Like enough she'll pan out
more'n ail the rt of the stage put
together," growled Cranks, care
fully testing the thickness ot the
case of a gold watch. "Jest like
the low-lived deceiptfulucss of some
folks, to hire an old woman to carry
their' money, so it'd go safer.
Mablie what she's got ain't nothin'
to some foiks that got hosses that
kin win 'em money at races, but'
The Colonel abruptly ended the
conversation, and approached the
stage. He was very chivalrous,
but Cranks' sarcastic reference to
Tipsie needed avenging, and as he
could not consistently with business
arrangements put an end to Cranks,
the old lady would have to sutler.
iir i i . .
"i oeg your pardon, ina'm, said
the Colonel, raising his hat politely
with' one hand, while he opened the
coach door with 'the other, "but
we're taking up a collection fur
some deserving object. tc wuz
a-goin to .make the gentlemen fork
over the hull amount, but, ez they
hain't gut enough' we will hev to
bother you."
The old lady trembled, felt for
her pocket-boolv, and '.raised her
veil. The Colonel looked into her
face, slammed the stage door, and
sitting down on the hub of one of
the wheels, stared vacantly into
spaa1.
"Xothing?" queried Perkins, in
a whisper, and with a face full of
genuine sympathy.
"Xo yes," said the Colonel,
dreamily.
"That is, untie 'em, and let the
stage go ahead," he continued,
springing to his feet. "I'll hurry
back to the cabin." And the
Colonel dashed into the bushes,
and left his followers so paralyzed
with astonishment that Old Black
afterward remarked that "ef there'd
been anybody to hold the bosses,
he could hev cleaned the hull
crowd with his whip."
The passengers, no ,v relieved of
their weapons, were unbound,
allowed to enter tlte stage, and the
door was slammed, upon which
Old Black picked up his reins as
(joolly as it lie had lain them down
at 'a station while the horses were
being changed, then he cracked his
whip and the stage rolled off, while
the Colonel's party hastened back
to their hut, fondly inspecting as
they went certain flasks they had
obtained while transacting their
business with the occupants of the
stage.
Groat was the surpriso of the
road agents as they entered their
hut, for. there stood the Colonel in
a .clean white shirt, and in a suit of
elothing riiade up from the limited
spare wardrobes ot the other
members ot the gang.
But the suspicious Cranks
speedily subordinated his wonder to
his prudence, as, laying on the table
a watch, two pistols, a pocket-book
and a heavy purse, he exclaimed :
"Come, Colonel, bizness before
pleasure; let's divide and scatter.
Ef anybody should hear .'bout it,
an' find our trail, and ketch the
traps in our possession, they
might''
"Divide yerselves!" said the
Colonel, with abruptness and a
great oath. "I don't want none of
it."
"Colonel," said Perkins, remov
ing his own domino, and looking
anxiously into the leader's face, "be
you sick ? Here's some bully brandy
I found in one of the passenger's
pockets.''
"I hain't nothin,' replied tbe
Colopel with averted eyes. "Pm
goin', and' Pm a retirin' from this
bizness forevr.,,
NO. 35.
"Ain't a-going to tnrn evidence?"
cried Cranks, grasping the pistol oi
the table.
"Pm a-goin' to make a lead mine
of Jfou ef you don't take that
back!" roared the Colonel, with a
bound, which caused Cranks to
drop the pistol and retire precipi
tately forward, apologizing as he
went. "I'm goin' to tend to my
own bizness, an' that's enough to
keep any man bizzy. Somebody
lend me 50 till I see him agin."
Perkins pressed the money into
the Colonel's hand, and within two
minutes the Colonel was on Tipsie's
back, and galloped on in the direc
tion the stage had taken.
He overtook it, he passed it, and
still galloped on.
Tbe people at Mud Gulch knew
the Colonel well, and made it a
rule never to be astonished at
anything he did ; but they made it
an exception to the rule when the
Colonel canvassed the principal bar
rooms tor men who wished to
purchase a horse; and when a
gambler who was flush obtained
Tipsie in exchange for twenty slugs
only a thousand dollars, when
tiie Colonel had always said that
there wasn't gold enough on top ot
the ground to buy her Mud Gulch
experienced a decided sensation.
One or two enterprising persons
sH?edily discovered that the Colonel
was not in a communicative mood;
so every one retired to his favorite
saloon and bet according to his own
opinion of the Colonel's motives and
actions.
But when the Colonel, after re
maining in a barber shop halt an
hour, emerged with his face clean
shaved and hair neatly trimmed
and parted, betting was so wild
that a cool-headed sporting man
speedily made a fortune by bettiog
against every theory that was
advanced.
Then the Colonel made a tour
of tho stores and fitted himself with
a new suit ot clothes, carefully es
chewing all of the generous patterns
and pronounced colors so dear to
the average miner. He bought a
new hat, and put on apairofboots,
and pruned his finger-nails, and,
stranger than all, he mildly de
clined all invitations to drink.
As the Colonel stood in the door
of the principal saloon, where the
stage always stopd, tho Challenge
Hill constable was seen to approach
the Colonel and tap him on the
shoulder, upon which all men who
bet that the Colonel was dodging
somebody claimed the stakes: but
those who stood near the Colonel
heard the constable say :
"Colonel, 1 take it all back, an'
I own up fair an' square. When I
seed you get out ot Challenge Hill,
it come to me all of a sudden that
you might be in the road-agent
business, so .1 followed you duty
you know ; but when I seed you
sell Tipsie, I knowed I was on tbe
wrong trail. I would'nt suspect
you, now, if all the State wuz
robbed, and I'll give yon satisfaction
any way you want it."
"It's all right," said the Colonel.
with a smile. The constable after,
ward said that nobody had any
idea of how curiously the Colonel
smiled when his beard was oft
"Give this fifty to Jim Perkins the
first time you see him. Pm leayin'
the State."
Suddenly tho stage pulled up to
the door with a crash, and the
male passengers hurried into the
saloon in a state of utter indigna
tion and impecuniosity.
The story ot the robbery attracted
everybody, and during the excite
ment the Colonel slipped out qui
etly and opened the door of the
stage. The old lady started and
cried,
"George !"
And the ColoncJ jumped into the
stage and put bis arms tenderly