L P Fisher
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VOLUME V.
ALBANY, OKHOOir, JULY 18, 1S7.'S.
NO. 4fl.
Tui FnuiCiy Altar. I
There are lew memories that are j
- ?ro i i ami powerful in after years
ji the memories of the household .
altar. ! can travel back over the
th of forty years and recall tliu
very tones of my father's voice, as j
he revere; tlv read the Bible, and !
devoutly prayed, in the midst of his
children: how faithfully he taught
tihetn lessons of Christian truth and
duty, in those thoughtless days of
youth and I bless his memory now
for what I did not appreciate then.-
I believe that the memories of ;
M . : ...j .1 i.. .... I
v. mi iMiati I'ioviu', uie e?o i as"
ioGiatiouS of a Christian home,
oatcey ever die out of the heart.
I lev. Dr. Adams, in Ins beautiful
book on "Thanksgiving Memories,"
gives us t!.e following incident: "In
the Cathedra! of Limerick there
hangs a chime of lie Is, which were
cast in Italy by an enthusiast in his
trade, who lixed his home near the
monastery where they were first
l ung, mac ne mignt uaily enjoy
t heir sweet and solemn music. In
some political revolution the bolls
were taken away to a distant land,
and their maker himself became a
refugee and exile. His wanderings
brought him after many years, to
Ireland. On a calm and beautiful
-evening, as tlie vessel which hore
him floated on the placid bosom of
the Shannon, suddenly the evening
(Chimes wealed from the Cathedral
towers. His practiced ear caught
the sweet sound, and he knew that
his lost treasures were found. His
early home, his old friends, his be
loved native land, all the best asso
ciations of his lite were in those
Minds, He laid himself back in
the boat, crossed his arms upon his
breast, and listened to the music.
The boat reached the wharf, but
ti 1 he iay there, silent and motion
less. They spoke to him, but he
-did not answer. They went to
him, but his spirit had fled. The
tide ot memories, that cams vibrat
ing through the heart at that well
known chime, had snapped its
itrthgs!"
And so, sometimes, in after life,
vhen 'eet of wayward man have
trayed far away from the home of
hs youth, and his heart has wan
dered far from his father's God,
.nne memory of the past, like the
ad melody of the evening chime,
may wake long-slumbering scliues,
anil stir long-sealed fountains; and
a father's counsels and a mother's
prayers will come up again from
the sacred burial places of the past,
with wondrous power to melt and
win the wayward heart.
Yes, a family ought to be a little
hutch of Jesus Christ. The father
should lie its paster, conducting its
daily worship and leading the dear
circle in the way of truth ami duty,
livery tie which binds one living
heart to another, should le made
troiiger and more tender by the
influence of a common tie to Jesus.
Such a household will have a happy
home,
Their circumstances may be i
humble and their lot may lie lowly, j
lint if they have Christ in the film-
ilv there will always lie sunshine I
and peace. That house cannot so-
-uru the highest domestic joy, which,
I I 1 ! a It. Ill I
iKcmouiuai netnienein. nas noi
room lor Jesus.
The most original spelling we
have ever seen is the following: It
beats phonetics. 80 you be a tub.
XI) oh! iea a top. Be 80 bat.
See SO cat. Tea 80 pat. See
oh! double you cow. See you lie
cub. See a bee cab. Be you
double tea butt See a double
.oil H-ali.
A worthy o'd farmer who was
being worried in his croswxamina
tion by a lawyer in Maine, exclaim
ed : I,ook here, 'squire, don't you
,jsk a good man- foolish questiuns'
A Mnjor Ucnernl In the Uutler,
To-duy there is a man going
about the streets in this city, ragged,
dirty and jienni'ess, subsisting on
free lunches and the charities of
gaiublars, has not slept in bed for
months, who, during the war, was
one of the most dashing cavalry
1 officers in the Union army, and
promoted from the rank of first lieu-
tenant to full brigadier and brevet
major-general for brilliant exploits
on the field of battle, and who for
a long t ime had a large and impor
tant command.
He has been here for two or three
months under an assumed name,
being ashamed to dim the brilliancy
of his record in service oi hisdegre
dation under his former honored
name. lie is generally very reti
cent, having little to do with any
one, or talking but little, save when
"engineering" for a drink, at which
he is remarkably successful
A few weeks ago, while lying
helplessly drunk in the rear part of
a Third street saloon, some men
thought to play a joke on him by
stealing his shirt, and proceeded to
strip him. Underneath his shirt
and sus)eudcd by a string around
his neck, was a small canvas bag,
which the men opened, and found
it to contain his commission as Bre
vet Major General, two congratu
latory letters, one from Crant and
one from President Lincoln, a pho
tograph ot a little girl and a curl of
hair "a chestnut shadow" that
doubtless one day crept over the
brow of some loved one.
When these things were discov
ered, even the half-dninken men
who found them felt a respect tor
the man's former greatness and pi'y
for his fallen condition, and quietly
returned the bag and contents to
where they found them, and re
placed the sleeper's clothes upon
him Beccntly a news reporter tried
to interview the man and endeavor
to learn something of his life in the
past few years, but he declined to
communicate anything, lie cried
like a child when told his name
ad former position were ascertain
ed, and with tears trinkling down
his cheeks, said: "For Cod's sake,
sir, don't publish my degradation,
or my name at least, it you are de
termined to say something about it.
It i enough that I know myself
how low i have become. Will you
promise that much? It will do no
good, but will do my friends a great
deal of harm, as fortunately they
think I died in South America,
where I went at the close of the
war."
Intemperance and tiie gambling
table, he said, had wrought his
ruin. Kansas City Mail.
"Lame:" sighed Mrs. Bartington.
"Here I hae ken sufferiu' the i
bigamies of death tor three mortal Sabbath deportment, was eonfiden
weeks. First I was received with ! tinlly informed by one of the little
a bleedin' phrenology in the hamp
shire of the brain which was ex-
ceeded by the stoppage of the left
ventilator of the heart. This gave
me the inflammation of the left
borax, and now I am sick with the
chloroform morbus. There is no j
blessin' like that of health, particu-
I t 1 I HI II
tarty wnen you re ill.
"Arrah,
inarrv vi?
Pat, and why did
1
list tell me that; for
it s meself that s had to maintain
yc iver since the blessed day that
bather O'Flanigan sint me home
to yer house.'' "Swate jewel,"
replied Bat, not relishing the charge,
'an' it's meself that hopes I may
live to see the day you're a widow
waping over the cowld sod that
kivers me thin, by St. Patrick,
I'll see how you get along without
me, honey."
j
An earnest appeal is being made
in California in behalf of the widow
f Gen. (Janby.
How to Uei a Diamond Necklace.
A DIAMOND NECKLACK IJoW Ls
it to be got?
By working?
No,
By dancing?
No.
By writing?
No.
Uy embroidering?
No
Bv teaching music?
No.
By painting or being painted?
No, uo,uo,no a thousand times
no.
You shall see how it is done.
The Countess T , who pos
sesses the n'ost beautiful collar in
St. Petersburg, if inquiry is made in
regard to the pric? of this treasure,
replies, "It cost me ten mouths in
prison."
Here is the key to the enigma:
The Countess had a revenue of
about three hundred thousand francs
a year.
One day a jeweler presented him
self at the Countess' house with a
famous neck 'ace.
It pleased her immensely, of
course; and she eagerly demanded
the price.
" I wo hundred and fifty thousand
francs," reported the lapidary
"It is a great deal. I havn't the
money," sighed the beautiful .Mus
covite.
"Well, I shall take it to the
Princess N," he replied.
This lady was a rival of the
Countess. It ined her to the
heart to think the Princes should
acquire these splendid jewels.
"Stop," said she, "Canyon keep
them for me for ten months? I en
gage to purchase them at the. end
of that time."
The jeweler was satisfied, and
the bargain was concluded.
Thereupon the Countess went
into a Greek convent for ten months.
She bade adieu to all luxuries and
vanities, discharged cooks, coach
men, and all other domestics, and
devoted the expenses thus saved
from housekeeping to the fund lor
acquiring the diamond necklace.
len months thereafter she re
turned to fashionable life more bril
liant than ever, with a diamond
necklace da plan.
"A necklace of two hundred and
lifty thousand francs!" cried all the
great ladies, her friends. "How
did you manage it, Countess?"
"I have gained it by a certain
method, and every one of you could
do the same. But I know you
will not try."
And that is true. French Pa
pa:
A friend, visiting in a minister's
family, where the parents were
ve.y strict in regard to the children's
girls that "she would like 10 le a
minister." "Why?" inquired the
visitor, puzzled to understand what
had given the child so sudden an
admiration ot that calling. She
was quickly enlightened by the
prompt reply: "So that I could
holler on Sunday"
. i i
"Oh" gasped fat Mrs. Weighty
as she ascended the second flight of
stairs in her new residence, I really
cannot run up any more stairs."
'Of course not," testily answered
the husband; "but it the stairs were
made of dressmakers' bills you could
run them up very easily."
"I do detest puns," exclaimed
Mrs W. the next day, recounting
the conversation to a friend.
"WIkjtc are the' men of 76?"
shouted a patriotic orator. "Dead,"
responded a sad-looking man in
the middle aisle. The orator
seemed to be disturbed by the uv
formation
Mternl Answer.
A lady noticed a boy spr'nkling
I salt on the sidewalk to take off the
j ice, and remarked to a friend,
pointing to the salt:
j "ow that's Itenevolence."
"No it ain't," said the boy, sorae
i what indignant; it's salt."
So when a lady asked her scr
I vant girl if the hired man had
j cleaned off the snow with alacrity,
she replied:
"Xo ma'am, he used a shovel"
A very polite and Impressive
' gentleman said to a youth in the
street:
"Hoy, may I inquire where Rob
iuson's drug store is?"
"Certainly, sir," replied the boy,
very respectfully.
"Well, sir," Mid the gentleman,
alter waiting awhile, "where is it?"
"I have not the least idea, yer
honor," said the Urchin.
"Boy, I want to go to Dover
street,"
"Well, ma'am," said the boy,
"why don't you go, then?"
"Did any of you ever see an ele
phant skin ?" inquired a teacher of
an infant class.
"I have," exclaimed one.
"Where?" asked the teacher.
"On the elephant," said the boy,
laughing.
"I wonder where those clouds are
going?" said Flora,
Her brother replied:
"I think they are going to thun-
"Halloo there; how do you sell
your wood?"
"By the cord"
"How long has it been cut?''
"Four feet."
"I mean how long has it been
since you cut it?"
"No longer than it is now."
This reminds one of an instance
which is said to have occurred once
in Chatham street, where a country
man was besieged by a shop keeper.
"Have you any line shirts?" said
the countryman
"A splendid assortment. Step
in, sir. Every price and every
style. The cheapest in the market,
sir."
"Are they clean?"
"To lie sure, sir."
"Then," said the countryman,
with great gravity, you had better
put one on, tor you need it."
.Murveloti t'Ktalry.
WHAT TUB RUSSIANS EXHIBITED
TO THE EMI'KUOR OF (iKRMANY
DURINU HIS I.ATK VISIT.
A correspondent of the Daily
Neics, in writing of the late review
of the Russian cavalry in honor of
the visit of the Kmperor of Ger
many, says;
In what other country can one see
horses like those which dash along
the Xeveska so free, and fresh, and
graceful? In what other country
do they have such a glossy skin,
such swan-like necks, such delicate
limbs? And in what other country
do they offer such material for cav
alry? The sleek ami muscular lieasts
had evidently lieen selected as care
fully as the men themselves. For
each battalion they were all of one
color now a glossy black, now a
rich brown, now a light gray, and
the uniformity seemed to extend
even to their shape and motion.
The effect was singularly striking.
There were probably 15,000 men
in all the cuirassiers with their
whi'.e coats and heavy black horses,
the hussars with t heir pikes, the
mounted grenadiers and dragoons,
at the wings the reckless Cossacks
again. 'I he Grand Duke Nicholas
waved his sword and the entire
force moved toward the Kmperor
and the spectators. At first it was
a light trot, then ah easy gallop,
then faster and faster, till on could
only see thousands of glittering uni
forms and superb horses dashing
madly toward the crowd. Nearer
and nearer they come, and ever at
the same terrific pace. It will be
death for the Imperial party who
are on the ground below! Sud
denly the Grand Duke's sword flics
up again in the air; the officers pass
the word along; still the 15,000
horsemen shake the earth. Hie
Grand Duke's sword falls and the
mighty mass comes to a stop as if
transfixed by an electric shock.
Perfect silence reigns. The long
line of cavalry is as calm and steady
as the marble pa'ace itself, and far
back through the centers all it
tranquil.
The Simper's Bripoe. One
chilly day I was left at home alone,
and after I was tired of readii'g
luminson vrusoe I caught a spider
and brought him into the house to
play with. Well, I took a wash
basin and fastened up a stick in it
like a liberty pole or a vessel's
mast, and then poured in water
enough to turn the mast into an
island for my spider, whom I named
Crusoe, and put on the mast. As
soon as he was fairly cast away he
anxiously commenced running
around to find the road to the
mainland. He'd scamper down
the mast to the water, stick out a
foot, get it wet, shake it, run round
the stick and try the other side,
and then rua back to the top again.
Pretty soon it became a serious
matter with Mr. Hobinson, aud he
sat down to think it over. And in
a moment he acted as if he wanted
to shout for a boat, and I was afraid
he was going to be hungry, so I
put a little molasses on the stick.
A fly came but Crusoe wasn't hun
gry for flies just then. He was
homesick for his web in the corner
ot the woodshed, lie went slowly
down the pole to the water and
touched it all around, shaking his
feet like pussy when she wets her
stockings in the grass, and suddenly
a thought appeared to strike him)
Up he went like a rocket to the
top and commenced playing cirous.
He held one foot in the air, then
another, and turned round two or
three times. Be got excited and
nearly stood on his head before 1
found out what he knew, and that
was this that the draft of air made
by the fire would carry a line ashore
on which he could escape from his
desert island. He pushed out a
web that went flouting in the air
until it came on the table, Then
he hauled on the rope until it was
strong enough to hold him And
walk ashore, I thought he had
earned his liberty, so I put him
back in his woodshed again.
The Des Moines man who wore
a hat-band inscribed "sweet potato
plants for sale," has committed
suicide since he heard of the old
Illinois farmer whowalks around
the streets of Springfield with a
sign on the seat of his pants which
reads: "Use Brown's patent bee
hive."
The heat during the past week
has been very optressive, and those
whose business did not call them
out in the sun were glad to remain
within door and sing
"Oh, for h Unle tn a iranlen of cucumbers!
On, for an loubors or two to control!
Oh, for a vale which at tnliUluy the dew
cnmlXTs!
Oil, for a pleasure trip up to the pole!"
The local editor of one of our
exchanges has a bustling paragraph
as follows : Delinquent subscribers
should not permit their daughters
to wear this tor a bustle. There
being so much due on it, there is
danger of taking a cold."
What is the difference between
a Jew and a lawyer? The one gets
his law from the prophets, the other
hi profits from the lair