The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, July 11, 1873, Image 1

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    L P Fisher
NO. 46.
How n Beb Mood Bnd Treatment.
During the war P. was captured
by Captain Hum, and then, as lie
lay alongside the road in a state of
blissful unconsciousness, ho was
picked up by Captain Yank. Now
P. was over forty live year of age,
did' 't belong to "the army, and was
mad as a hornet at being disturbed
in his slumber, and refund decid
edly to get into one of the wagoi.s.
"Pitch him in, hoys," said the
officer, and through the ah he went
oue hundred and ninety pounds)
and lit on his back on a pile of corn.
There he lay, abusing every one
around him." until the wagon he
was in stalled in a mudhole and
bad to be unloaded.
"Get down from there, reb,"
houted a Sergeant to old P.
"1 didn't put myself up here,
and I won't do nothing to criminate
'"Throw him out, boys;" and out
he went, and liked to have burst
as lie hit the ground.
After unloading and getting out
of the hole the Sergeant ordered P.
to get in again.
"I'll be darned if I do; I didn't
put myselt here, and 1 ain't noth
ing to do with myselt."
"Throw him in, boys;" and tour
men took hold of P., and after two
or three preparatory swings, away
ho went through the air and lit
like a hornet on the corn.
Another breakdown, and P. was
dercd to crawl down again
"I won't do it," he roared. "I'm
tour prisoner, dod duru you, and
1 ain't going to take control of
"Throw him out, boys;" and out
be was pitched.
"Get up," said the Sergeant, after
tne wagon was repaired.
"Go to the devil," replied P.;
"put your prisoner in yourself; I
ain't' 'sponsible."
"Get up, there,'' shouted the
gergeant to the driver; and off they
drove, leaving P. in his glory.
That was the hardest nut, the
8ergeant says, he ever met.
Old P., on rinding himself his
own man again, hoisted his Hag
and trotted home, swearing he
knew the articles of war better than
all the Sergeants in the United
States Army.
Shove Your Tbeth jnto
That!" There is a boy in our
achools who wears a green velvet
anit which is broken out with bell
buttons. There is a great change
in the boy since he commenced to
go to school, several months ago.
He was then but a trifle better than
an untutored savage, although we
frankly confess we don't know what
an untutored savage is. Mis first
xperience in the school was a spell
ing lesson. While the class was
crohn? through the exercise, he sat
oo the platform near the teacher,
and locked his hands across ins
knees and watched the class very
inteiitlv. The first was ransom.
" I !y gracious!" said he, drawing
lis breath hard. The teacher gave
him a reproving lxk, and went on
muIimiIu. "Thunder and light
ning, what a word!" he cried, in a
storm ot delight. Again the teacher
nailed him with a look, and pro-
Osculation. At this he
mat rained himself UD to his foot.
and shrieked out in a perfect frenzy
- . . a a a .
of ecstasy, "liy goueys, gentlemen,
last shove your teem into wuwr
This broke up the lesson.
Corvallis has p'enty of fat beef;
and the prospect for blackberries
thereabouts is fine; and a snag.puller
is at work a few miles below the
city improving the river; and the
brass band, undsr the leadership of
Mr. Lour Kitttt, n making fine
progress in the art of "tooting," and
will discourse on the Fourth, we
teruftom OmtH,
An Exciting Scene.
The following stirring scene Is given
in tlit San Francisco Chronicle of the
23th ult :
An exciting scene occurred on
Thursday forenoon at the menagerie
connected with the circus now ner
fbrmhig in this city. Jnt after 'the
cages had been driven under the tent
after the parade, the large sea lion
broke out of his cage and dashed ncro3
the arena in the attempt to escape,
lua moment all was confusion and
excitement. The horses, which had
not vet been unhitched from the wag
ons." became frightened, and reared
and snorted, kicking over their trices
anil becoming generally badly mixed.
The drivers shouted and plied their
whips in vain to get their hopes in
order again. The elephant was badly
frightened and danced a polka around
hi-Tpost in the attempt to get away.
The nionkevs chattered with fear and
leaped frantically back and forth in
their cage. The lions became greatly
excited and added their loud roars to
the general noise and confusion. The
royal Bengal tiger paced his cage ex
citedly, lashing his sides with his tail,
and giving forth fierce and excited
growls, and all of the other animals
partook of the excitement. Several
men seized ropes, and, surrounding
the sea lion, threw them over turn,
hut the noose, slipped off as fast as he
was las-ooed. At length he was
caught by a noose just behind his fin.
He became fearfully enraged, spring
ing furiously across the arena at Ms
captors, with distended jaws and flash
in" eves. Several times they narrowly
escaped being bitten by the infuriated
animal. He was tied to an iron post
driven in the ground, but struggled so
violently as to pull it up. He was
then tied to one of the cages. He
struggled so violently and his strength
wan so great that he pulled the cage
oiwi wuirnii nver on their side. After
a protracted struggle be was secured,
jttst as the Manager, Mr. Coles, gave
orders to shoot mm, aim oruer mm
unlet was soon restored among me
frightened and excited animals.
A coupel ot dogs were having a
dispute on the oppite sides of a
slat fence in Worth nriagewaier,
Mat., the other morning, when
one otthem, letting his valor get
the best ot his discretion, plunged
his head through the 6lata in the
hope ot nipping his antagonist.
The head went through nicely, but
would not null back. 1 he other
pup, seeing his foe was in chancery,
leisurely commenced eating up tne
front part of his head and ears.
hero was "music in ine air aooui
that time, and the yelping brought
the juvenile owner to the rescue
He took in the situation at once
and freezinflr on that don's tail and
bracing against the fence, lie pulled
his level best, for a moment u
was doubtful which would give
way first the tail, the head, or the
picket; but with a final surge the
boy brought away the pup, minus
the biggest part of both ears. The
first jump that that dog made when
loose was something over twenty
feet, and with a continuous wail of
grief he disappeared around the cor
ucr.Danbury News.
Two lawyers, returning from court,
one said to the other: "ive a
notion to join Kfiv. Mr. 's
ehuroh; been debating the matter
tor some time, What do you think
of it?" "Wouldn't do it," said
the other, "Well, why?" "Be
cause it would do you no possible
good, while it would be a g. eat in
jury to the church."
Tlie Salem Mercury tells of a
softish fellow there who tried to
reach his latter end because he
wanted a woman who didn't want
San Francirco county jail had
313 prisoners in it on the 20th, and
40 more to be added. Accessions
there are lastly many.
Idaho City called no grand jury
at the hut session of its District
Court Had no criminals to work
Scarlet fever is visiting among
Ban Fraoowoo people.
Wnl worths Lust letter to bis Wife.
The trial of Frank Walworth
for the murder of his father, Mans
He'd Tracy Walworth, the author,
is now under way in New York
City. On the 27th ult., Mr.
O'Conor, counsel ti the young
man, read the following letter,
which is Walworth's last letter to
his wife :
May 307 o'clock in the
Morning. Prepare yourself for
the inevitable I am getting over
my wasting fever, and shall be out
of my room in a few days. I am
going to call upon my children; my
heart is starving tor their caresses.
Make the interview, when I come,
just as easy and pleasant as possible.
I cannot stay from them much
longer; I will seee them peaceably,
it 1 oan, or with a tragedy if I must.
Their little faces haunt me, as they
are mine. Popish cruelty must
bend to the demand of a father's
heart, or the Walworth name goes
out in blood. Keep Frank Wal
worth out of my way; you have
taught him to hate me, and his
presence or obstruction in my way
will only excite a fatal exaspera
tion. I want to see my little grrls,
and come away peaceably. Beware
that you do not in any way amuse
the frenzy which you have known
to exist since you left me. There
is a plausible way to deal with me.
I shall have my rights under that
decree, with no further legal delay
or expense. I have conceded
promptly every right to you under
that decree, and now I am going to
see my children, ami you shall not
bring them up to hate tlieir loving
father. Eliza Backus has written
to me that you will do it if you can,
from your associations with them;
and then I shall shoot you and
myselt on these door-steps, for I
have nothing further to live for.
Do right, Ellen Hardin, aud you
will find me prompt to do right. I
am a broken-hearted desperado.
Save this letter for lawyers and
Courts, if you please. God is my
lawyer now; not that remorseless
brutal God that you and Eliza
Hackus and C. A. Walworth wor-
ship, but the God that planted love
for my little girls in my heart, and
that says to the bereft tiger, "Kill!"
Oh, you wretch! that kept me two
years from the little hands and
hearts that love me; your only
excuse was my poverty and misfor
tune. Should ray children refuse
tji sneak to me iu tlie street at Sar
atoga, and I shall say to myself
ihatsw is teaching them all to
hate a broken-hearted father, all is
lost, and a tragedy must come.
When I know, from the conduct of
the little girls, that you have taught
them to hate me, that moment two
pistol-shoUs will ring about that
house one slaying you, the other
myself, I know you have no
personal fear, no more than I lave;
but we both must die when the
discovery reaches my brain that
you have estranged my young- chil.
dren from mo; if my little girls do
not love me, then my iife is value
less, and I shall die with a feeling
of luxury and rest. But you will
have to attend me to the spirit
land; the God of Justice demands
it. But if you do right under that
decree all may be well; but now
my heart is agonized for my little
children, and if you had comraou
sense you would know how to ap.
preciate the danger.
The Enterprise says there is a
water supply project on toot for
Oregou City. No doubt they need
more water.
Yamhill oounty farmers are
elated ; crops fine wheat up to a
mane ears and climbing.
Mr. Logan, near McMinnville,
haa a row of potatoes on his farm
three milea long, avrt the Reporter.
A Misguided Book Agent.
A book agent entered the open
door of a snug Pittstield, Mass.,
cottage one day last week, and
nodding to a trim, brightlookmg
little woman who sat sewing by
the window, commenced volub'y
to descant on the merits of a great
work which he was for the first
time giving mankind an opportunity
to purchase. It was a universal
biography, cook book, dictionary,
family physician, short-hand in
structor, aud contained, besides a
detailed history of every important
event that has transpired in the
world from the apple incident and
Adam's fall to Credit Mobilier and
the tall of Congress. The work
eantained 5,000 chapters, all with
running titles. The agent, after
talking on the general excellences
of the volume about five minutes',
commenced on the headings of
those chapter and as the woman
did not say a word to interrupt
him 1 felt that he was making a
conquest, and he rattled away so
that she shouldn t have a cnance
to say no. It took him nearly halt
an hour, and as he breathlessly
went on the sweat started on his
forehead, and he made convulsive
grasps at his collar, and when he
hnislied he had hardly strength
enough left to put on a bewitching
smile and hand her his ready pen
wherew th to subscribe her name
in the order book. She took the
pen. but instead of putting her auto-
urauh on his list she lifted a scrap
of paper from her work-box and
wrote in plain letters: "Imk dkfe
and dum." He said not a word,
but the unutterable things that he
looked, as lie turned to the door,
would fill a library. Exchange.
A Story op Sing Sing Prison.
Edward Strngess recently entered
Sing Sing Prison a second time.
As usual with many of the second
term men, Strugess has a story con
nected with his former imprison
ment. He was known at that time
as Edward Hoyt, and with another
convict became the hero of what is
known as the "Swill-tub Escape."
His "yarn" is to the following effect:
In latter part of last July lie and
bis "nal" bavins obtained by some
moans false covers to twoof the large
tubs used to carry the refuse mat
ter of the prison, got into them,
placed tlie false covers on top and
the balance ot the space bemg tilled
with garbage,awaiteu with as mucn
contentment as the case would al
low the development of their little
game, the retuse matter or ine
prison is bought ny a man living at
some distance and it was planned
lietween Hoyt aud his friend that
they should wait until they were
out of sight of the guards, and then,
knockinn the driver senseless with
their sand clubs, escape into the
neighboring woods. Hoyt described
with much vivacity tns reelings at.
the slow manner in which the boy
who was driving progressed, and
whom they observed through the
holes in the sides of the tubs get off
at several spots to buy pies and
other matter, and the curses not loud
but deep which they uttered when
he at last began a game of ball by
the wayside with some other urchins,
undmindftil of the feelings of the
contents of his tubs. "I bore it pa.
tiently until the wagon stopped
about the middle ot Main street,and
than T (tuva un. for a confounded
orean-man stopped also in front of
us,ai dcommeneeu pij'g, . v -Balloon,
boys! Up in a Balloon!"
and I said after that tune it was
no use trying, ami I got up and so
did my triend,and just then the keep
ers, who hail missed us,came along,
and we followed them back to the
prison as gracefully as our streaming
and highly odoriferous garment!
and persons would permit.
The Indianapolis Journal says
that during his stay in this city,
General Sheridan was conversing
with a few friends touching his mili
tary experience and campaigns,
when he said: "There is a mighty
sight ot romance and a great many
interesting episodes connected with
the war, that historians can never
get hold of. For instance there haa
been a great deal said about the
battle of Winchester, a little affair
in wich I had a hand. Well it
was a pretty square fight, but do
you know that battle was fought on
the strength of information which I
obtained from a young laxly in the
town of Winchester, aud if the reb.
els had known she was giving it to
me they would have hung her in a
minute. I was very anxious to gel
Information of the rebel strength
and movements so as to know just
when and where to strike them, but
I did not know how to get it
Finally I heard of a Union young
lady in Winchester who could be
relied on if I could get word to her.
Her name was Miss Wright I
think she is in the Treasury Depart,
ment at Washington now. But
the trouble was to communicate
with her. One day I heard of an
old colored man living outside of
my lines, who had a pass to go into
Winchester to sell vegetables. I
sent for the old man, and on talking
with him found loyal, as all col
ored folks you know. Finding he
could keep a secret, I asked him if
he would undertake todeliveralet
ter to a young lady iu Winchester.
The old fellow said he would. SJo
I wote a letter on thin tissue paper,
and rolled it up in a tinfoil. It
made a ball about as big as the end
of your thumb and I told the old
man to put it in his mouth de
liver to Miss Wright, in Winches
ter. He went off, and in about two
days came back an answer rolled up
in the same piece ot tintoil, i iouna
I had had struck a mighty good
lead, and I followed it carefully till
I got ad the information I wanted.
The girl gavo me more important
informtion than I got from all other
sources, and I planned the battle ot
Winchester almost entirely on what
I got from her. She was a nice girl,
ami true as steel.
When a wife in Turkey forgets
to keep the suspender-buttons sewed
on her husband's trowsers, she is
patted on the back for half-an-hour
with a pine board an inch thick.
Hero is genuine repentance; A
precipitate Detroiter is miserable at
discovering that his wife inherited
half a mil lion just after he has pro
cured a devorce from her.
A County Commissioner in the
western part of Maine, on inviting
some lawyers to inspect the new
court-house, quoted the solemn lines
of Dr. Watts.
"Ye sinners rouud, come view the
Where vou will shortly lie
A Teuton, disgusted with dis.
respect of Good Friday by the Yan
kees, exclaimed:
"Mein Gotts! Mein Gottsl .Vat a
country! Vat a beeplee! Only
two holy days and one is Fourth of
July, aud the other April Fools."
A young lady, speaking of one
of her aversions, said the severest
thing on record : "He's almost a
perfect brute be only lacks in
stinct" A Boston paper twits Philadel
phia on the tact that it never had
a decent fire yet.
Ben. Butler's son, who is at
West Point, is said to be cheekier
thau the old plan.
A ladv who "lived fifty fears
wiin iter nusDBixi, uwu w
fidout hope of a better life."