ALBANY REGISTER.
5
MISCELLANEOUS,
A Southern publisW complains
because some of his Mibsorilx'ix un
derstand the printed wurds "receiv
fid payment" on the dunning bills
he sent them as an i timation that
he forgave them their debts.
"Do yon think I am a fool ?'' a
violent man once a-ked o'tlie Pev.
Dr. ethime "Really," replied
the Doctor, "f wotilil not venture
the assertion, but now that you ask
my opinion, I must say that I am
not prepared to deny it."
Susan B. Anthony says she would
not be frightened at standing fhce
to face with Satan. Satan himself
admits that the scare would be on
his side.
A Fort Wayne man, married
twenty-one years, didn't know the
entire contentment o'inarried li'e nil.
til his wife fell down the other day
and bit her tongue so that she could
not talk.
"Get out of my way ! What are
you good tor?" said a cross old
man to a bright-eyed little boy that
happened to stand ui his way,
"Weil, satu the uttie re'low, as
he stepped one side, "1 believe they
make men out of such things as we
are.
The St. Louis Democrat says :
"Whales are runnig their noses
against that portion of Rhode Island
that sticks out into the water, and
the inhabitants are troubled with
earthquakes.
A father recently found his little
girl's chubby little hands lull of the
blossoms of a beautiful rose tree, on
which he had bestowed great care.
"My dear," said he, "did 1 not tell
you not to pluck one of these trees
without leave!" "Yes, papa,"
said the child, "but all these had
A very wealthy farmer of Titus,
vill has this "notis" posted up in his
field: "if any man's or woman's
cows or oxen gits in these here oats,
his or her tail wi I be cut off, as the
case may be i am a Christian man,
and pay mi taxes, but dam a man
who lets his cattle run loose, say i."
Give a man brains and richest d
he is a king. Give a man brains
without riches, and he is a slave.
Give a man riches without brains,
and he is a fool.
A ta kative man annoyed a lady
at a dinner party by constantly argu
ing in favor ot strong drink, and at
last said to her, " V ou know, mad
am, that drinking drives away cares,
and makes us forget what is dis
agreeable. Would you not allow a
man to drink for that reason?"
"Well, perhaps so," said the lady,
"if he sat next to you 1"
A bereaved husband, in an obitu
ary notice of his deceased wife,
wrote, "She hag gone to her eternal
rest;" but to his horror the news
paper printed it; "She has gone to
her eternal roast."
A Minnesota woman stood by
and saw a tight between her hus
band and a wildcat, and when the
man whipped she acknowledged
that she was a little disappointed,
having bet on the cat.
A man stole a gate from a field
by the roadside, and was defected
with it in his possession. When ac
cused of the offence, he pleaded that
he only took it away tor a joke.
Whereupon the judge inquired how
far the man was found from the
field to which the gate belonged.
"About two miles," replied the
prisoner. "Ah ! just so," said the
judge. "You must be punished;
that was carrying the joke too far."
Missouri judge, a few days ago,
administered the following conso
lation to a criminal whom he was
sentencing to death: "If guilty,
yon richly deserve the fate which
awaits you; if innocent, it will be a
gratification for you to feel that you
were hanged without such a crime
on your conscience; in either case
you will be delivered from a world
of care."
The Chief of Police in Pittsfield,
Mass., lately received a telegram
requesting him to "look out for a
runaway having a black mous
tache five feet ten inches in height
with a velvet coat"
!lU (iS. K'10
Murder lu Albany
HASNKVKR YET BEEN KNOWN, AM)
no threatening of It at present.
Death
Is a thing which sometime must hefall
every son and dauglnerof the human fam
ily ; anu yet,
At the Mid-day,
Of your life, il disease lays his vile hands
upon you, i here Is si ill "a balm In (iliead,"
by which you may be restored I o perfect
health, and prolong your days toa miracu
lous extent.
How ?
By calling on
R. C. HILL & SOM,
With a nrescrintlon, where von can have
it compounded by one experienced in that
particular line. Also, cons'antly on hand
a goo I assortment of fresh drugs, patent
medicines, chemicals, mints, oils, dye
stuffs, trusses, etc. Agents for the
Celebrated Vuk Weed Kennedy,
Or, Oregon Rheumatic Cure ; Dr. D. Jayne
A Sons' medicines, etc.
Snence's Positive and Negative Powders
kept in stock. Also agents for the
Home Shuttle Mewing; Mnehlne,
One of t ho most usefn 1 pieces of household
hiinliuroex.ant. Call and examine.
R. C. HILL A SON.
Albany, June 10, 7M0v8
CiEO. F. SETTLEMIEK,
DRUGGIST,
(Successor to D. W. Wakefieldl,
ParrUh's New Building, I'ir Street,
ALBANY, ORKUON.
Dealer In
DRUGS AND MEDICINES,
CHEMICALS,
PAINTS, OILS, GLASS, ETC.
All articles warranted num. and of the
best quality.
Physicians prescriptions carefully com
pounded. Albany, Oct. 17, lffcJWtf
A. CAROTHERS & CO.,
-Dealers in
CHEKIf'ALS, OILS, PAINTS, DYES,
GLASS, LAMPS, ETC.,
All the popular
PATENT MEDICINES,
KINK CUTLERY, CIGARS, TOBACCO,
NOTIONS PERFUMERY,
and Toilet WoodM.
Particular care and promptness given
Physicians' prescriptions and Family Rec
ipes.
A. CAROTHERS & CO.
Albany, Oregon-iv5
STOVES ANDTINWARE.
THE
OLD STOVE DEPOT.
JOHN BRIGGS,
Dealer in
RANGES
COOK, PARLOR AND BOX,
STOVES !
Of the best patterns.
ALSO t TIN, SHEET IRON AND COP
PERWABE, And the nsual assortment of furntsblnt
goods to be obtained in a tin store.
Ronalrs neatly and nromntlv exncH4
on reasonable terms.
ShoMreekMlnffsiotattetoHBlMeadaii
DRY GOODS, ETC.
an
w
'A n
S 2
O
;?
Z 0
V m
1
i
9
M Li
lit I-.Q
SIB
m
ft
I So
t 1$ 2H
u
mm . 9 rr, 9 Wi S -, CO
- s g Bur t ,
9
0
mm J
tl EE25
e
a
H
SB
H
B
I
0
0
0
0
M
ft
H
2 2 a m
g, a 9 J h
ft
ft'
MM
0
5 o
1
i
ALBANY FOUNDRY
And
Machine Shop,
A. P. CHERRY Proprietor,
ALPANY, OREGON,
Manufactures Steam Engines,
Flour and Saw Mill Machin
ery,
WOOD WORKING
And '
AGRICULTURAL MACHINERY,
And all kinds of
IRON AND BRASS CASTINUS.
Particular attention paid to repairing all
kinds of machinery. 41v3
J. F. McCOY,
DEALER IN
AND
TAKES PLEA8UHK IN INFORMING
his numerous friends and acquaint
ances that ne has on hand a larne supply
of
Saddles & HarnetiN,
which he will sell at prices to suit the
times. i
At Butler bid tud, t'lntt-M.,
ALBANY, OREGON.
dooS-14m6
-4 ,
Albany Book Store.
JMO. POSHAY,
TEAIiKR IN MBOELLANEOU8BOOK8,
U School Books, lilank Books. Stationery
joy Articles, am.
looks moot
to order; Mrtortestw
nun auuee.
AUVKUTISKMKNTS.
HENRI f. &AYRS.
General Businessjnsurance Agent
Notary ritoiio.
CPECIAL ATTENTION given to the ad-
itti 'l.iVr. 1 1 ""Lunula, tioiieeiiona
....... ., pans ui me aie.
Ofnee next door nhm-n tn.. o.
First mreet, Albany, oron; "aSS
MAKBLE WORKS.
MONROE & STAIGER,
Pcalers In
Monuments, Obelisks, Tombs,
Head and Foot Stone,
Executed in
California, Vermont and Italian
Mai ble.
SALEM, OREGON.
DRANt II SHOP AT ALRANY.
OUT OF THE FIRE!
s. j. Mccormick,
TS HAPPY TO IVFi h? m mc wrrwn
X ,. ' . i. t ' lUBIl
i i i! T ' iJmwj in
h""'i) t,iinii iiu iuu
. OPENED
THE
Franklin B
ook
PTORE,
AT
10 FIRST STREET,
(NEXT TO CENTRAL MARKET)
with a complete stock of
School Rooks,
Stationery,
Rlank Booka,
Hold Pens,
Cutlery, &e., A.,
Which he will dispose of at
The Lowest Prices !
SUBSCRIPTIONS RECEIVED
For all the popular
NEWSPAPER AND pNAOAZINES!
which will be
Delivered In any part of the elty.
Portland, Feb. 7, lW&astf
Arctic Soda.
HAVING ADDED VASTLY TO OUR
fftftflitlPM t'nr rliunoxafntr ,ii;.-i,
ful ana heallh-ffiving beverage, we would
annornifv tn nnr iimm.i-iv.iim.... ,..,i i,..
public enerally, that wcare fully prepared
n win uiiu ui ljiueh; eiugHJlL
Tuft's Arctic Fountains,
tO RllOnlv ROflAnf thn hnaf rmalf... ;..
limited quantities to all who may fevor us
with a call-
BOTTLED SODA I
AND
SarsapariUa!
WILL, DURING THE
SPRING and SUMMER.
be delivered to families ordering through-
uul iuu vi iy.
Deal era supplied at Liberal Rales.
A. CAROTHERS A CO.,
BEWARD
fOB AN
Incurable Case!
XER. LE RICHAU S
GOLDEN BALSAM!
After leo years' trial on this Coast hu
proven Itself t he only curative In a certain class
of diseases pronounced by medical pracUtton-
cib m lueurnuifj.
Dr. Ls Bichao's GOLDEN BALSAM No.i
cures Chancres first and second stages, Sores on
the Legs or Body; Sore Ears, Eyes, Nose, kc.)
Copper-colored Blotches, 8yphilltio Catarrh,
Diseasud Scalp, and all primwy forms of the
disease known as Syphilis. Price, $5 per bot
tle, or two for $8. i
Br.LsRichau's GOLDEN BALSAM No.2
cures Tertiary, Mercurial, Syphllltio Rheuna,
tlsm, Pslns In the Bones. Bnckof the Neck, 111,
ceratod Sore Throat, Byphilltio Bash, Lumps
and Contracted Cords, Stiffness of the Limbs,
and eradicates all disr&tes from the system,
whether caused by Indiscretion or abuse of
mercury leaving the blood pure and healthy.
Price, $3 per bottle, or twv. lor f 9.
Df. Ls Richan's G3LDEN SPANISH AN-
tldoto, tot the Curo of Gonnorhofa, Gleet. Ini-
tfttitln. tlMwal nn,l all 1'-i,w, rU-l
-.wvvi, hum ail vijuhij '4 VUI(
diaaiTangementa. Price, $2.50 per bottle,
Dr. Leliehao'i GOLDEN SPANISH IN-
lection, a Wash and injectlor. for severe cases
of ttonuorhcea, Inflammatory Gleet, Strictures,
and all diseases of the Kidneys and Bladder.
Price, $1.40 per bottle.
Also Agents for SB. LE RICHAU'S GOLDEN
rUiUS tor seminal ,-aknrs, Night Emis
sions, Impotency, and sll diseases arising from
Masturbation and excessive abiises. Price, S3
per bottle. The ennnina Oolmk S.u.x u
pnt up only in round bottles.
On receipt of price, these medicines will
be sent to all parts of the country, by express
or mail, securely packed and free from ohser-
TBuoa. sole Agents,
n v n,rTTAf.td , .
X
Wholoul and Retail Druggists and
Chemists, H W. cor. Clay k 8umm
notats. san rruascei van
GO TO THE
BEE-HIVE STORE!
TO RUY
Groceries,
Provisions,
Notions,
&c., &c., ffce.,
CHEAP FOR CASH I
Country Produce of All Hinds
BOUGHT FOR MERCHANDISE OR
This to the place to get flic BEST BAR
GAINS ever offered In Albany. Partiex
will always do well tocall and see for them
selves. II. WEED.
First street, Albany, Oregon.' ' av5
Great Bargains !
CEORCE TURRELL
WH,L SELL HIS
Large dc Extensive Stock of
It V
n u
v
0
D,
H
H
I
R
D
W
A
R
E
tfco.j etc., cfco.,
at exceedingly
LOW RATES FOR CASH.
Ho bees to call attention lo his lame
stock of
MEMS' A BOW CLOTlEI.;
whifh ho is determined to sell lower than
ever. Please call and examine before pn r
onawiB elsewhere.
647" Remember the address
GEORHK TUIflMXL,
Klrst-8t., Allwiiy.
KrlliKbest price paid for 4 oiiulr
Produce, jjyj
BUILDERS, ATTENTION !
SASH, BLIND, AND DOOR
FACTOR V .
8. H. ALTH0C8E. J. P. BA K aWOTu.
W. KKTCULM.
ALTHOU8E & CO.,
Lyon Mtreet, on the Rler Dank,
ALBANY, ORKUON.
Keep en hand n full assortment, and arc
prepared to
FURNISH TO ORDER,
Doom, Stub, Blinds, and
Molding,
Such as
CROWH, PANEL, RAKR A KEITIO
MOLD,
of all sites .
WINDOW AND DOOK KRAMrX
Floorinr, Sldinir,
And-
All Other kind of Rnlldtnir nmerin I .
ALSO: PREPARED To DO Mli.I.
work, furnish shaker fans ziKwi
shakers, suction fans, driving pullers of
any kind, at our factory on I. von street (op
the river bank!, next below MarkhumV
wareiiuuut. Alvl lUH.SK g, (X).
Albany, Fob. 10, 180W4
BOOTS MADE TO OK DEB,
WAKRANTKD T.i OtVK
Peyfeot Satisificiion,
at REASONABLE RATRS, at
BElf aT PtllfDT'i 8H0P,
tlB Atlwnr, Ortff. Jlvs